FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy ... by Elrhea M. Bigham [emb] The event that changed my perspective on spiders occurred when I was a young teen. I had been noticing spider bites on my arms and legs. Not something too normal, but when it did happened I'd focus most of my energy into finding the spider in my bedroom. Usually just doing quick checks of their normal hiding areas in dark corners near the floor or ceiling would lead me to an end to the problem. Let me clue you in on something here first. I don't like spiders. I figure growing up with a Mom who had an usual fear of them was why I fear them. She'd scream and take off running which would scare me too. Before I even knew what I was afraid of, I'd often take off running with her - just to be on the safe side. So, knowing I had a spider in my bedroom was a rather unpleasant bit of knowledge for me. I'd get my can of Raid and be ready for 'war' against the tiniest but extremely quick terror of an adversary. Normally I'd win and be able to sleep rest assured all was clear in my room. But this time, I couldn't find the little pest. I looked everywhere one normally would find them. I looked even in the curtains and under the bed. Nothing. So I'd go to bed thinking, well, maybe it left, only to wake up with a new spider bite or two the next day and have to go through the whole search again. It was laundry day, and I had to gather the sheets off my bed and flip the mattress. That's when I found it. I was flipping the mattress and a big, round, hairy, black spider took off running from in between my mattress and bed springs. I was stunned at first then extremely angry. I chased it and made sure it was dead! How dare that little creep! I had always given the spider the benefit of the doubt. You know - they are 'good' and are just there to capture nasty little bugs like mosquitoes etc. Not any more. My idea of a spider changed rather abruptly that day! No web. No way it could capture other bugs for a meal. It was using me! Human blood was it's menu! How totally discussing! I was being used as a spider meal and my bed was its web. It just lie in wait till I lay quiet and then came up and had dinner! How gross! Little did I know of the forces at work. An invisible force that whether I knew it or not, was in effect due to my own believing. My fear pretty much caused this problem. I might just as well physically have put that spider there. Fear is believing. It is caused when you dwell on something you are afraid of. The more you think about it, the more you begin to worry about it becoming a reality in your life. The more you worry, the more your worry turns into a fear. The more fear you have, the more negative belief you have in it coming true. The bible teaches us this. Job was a man of God that was abundantly blessed by God. He had many riches to be thankful for. But his own fear was his downfall. He lost all of what God had given him due to his own fear. Negative belief. Job.3: [25] For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. The thing he greatly feared came upon him. He worried about loosing what God had blessed him with. His worries became fears. The law of believing is an invisible law just as the law of gravity is. Neither one can be seen, but the effect of them working can be seen. Jesus Christ searched and studied the scriptures. He knew about Job and about the law of believing. He gave his disciples a visible lesson of it. They had been traveling on foot and He was hungry. Mark 11: [13] And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. [14] And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it. He went over to the tree only to be disappointed by it not having any figs! They must of thought their Lord a bit touched. Not only did he talk to a tree, but he cursed it! Later they learned other wise: Mark 11: [20] And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. [21] And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away. [22] And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. [23] For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Here is the great teaching of the law of believing. It is like the law of gravity. it doesn't matter if you are saint or sinner. 'Whosoever' shall say "Mountain, go jump in a lake!" and Believe - most important is that you believe without a doubt that it will do what you told it to do, then it will do it! It is a law. God made the law of believing just like He made the law of gravity. Mark 11: [24] Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. What things so ever you desire - doesn't matter what you want. When you pray for them, believe you have them and you shall (absolutely) get them! At the time, I didn't know about the law of believing, however I did not want my own children to be as afraid of spiders as I was. So, I determined when I had kids that I'd do my best not to show my fear of spiders to them. I had to renew my mind, so, I tried to control myself when confronted with one and NOT LET fear control me. We run a computer business out of our home. Almost every day UPS would be bringing in boxes. There for a while it seemed every time they brought one in, they'd also bring in a spider or two with them. Now this wouldn't seem so unusual you might think, except it was always the dark brown almost black spider, and for some reason, it always seemed to like being close to me. One day, I was in reading in my bedroom when I spied one crawling up the side of the table next to me. I quietly and quickly got up and went all the way around through the bathroom, kitchen, and living room to our computer room to tell my husband, Paul, that I needed his help. I had a spider in the bedroom. He went in there to rid the room of it after I told him where it was. I sat down in the living room with my back to the door of the adjoining bedroom. Next to me was a monitor box as I was close to the computer room. My daughter was reading in the chair across the room. I heard Paul shout that he couldn't find the spider and soon he was out and back in the computer room. I thought, "Well, that sucks! I'm going to have a hard time going to bed knowing that thing is in there." When my daughter said, "Hey Mom! I know where it went!" I asked, "Where?" She pointed and said, "There! Next to you." I looked and sure enough the spider was crawling up the box beside me on the recliner where I sat. I jumped up and Paul got the nasty little pest! Yes, it was the same size, and color as the one I had seen in the bedroom! It must of followed me or found me. I'm sure you are not quite believing me that it was the same one but I had been having allot of trouble with these dark brown spiders. They seem to always pop up around or near me. Especially lately. Paul said it was because they like me. I had no doubt it was the same one. It actually doesn't matter if it was. The point is, I believed it was. Again, I had no idea what kind of effect my fear was causing. It just did not dawn on me that I could be causing it. Like Job, I was in the dark and just figured it was my bad luck to be hounded by them. Fear left unchecked can do some pretty amazing things. Remember, fear is believing - in the negative. One day I was in the kitchen with Paul when my son said "Hey Mom, Look! a spider!" He knows I am afraid of them and thought perhaps he could scare me into jumping or running away or something. I looked and sure enough there was one of those dark brown 1-2" spiders walking about 7 feet away from me on the floor. I noticed it was headed in my direction so I half jokingly said to him, "It's probably coming after me." He gave me a look that said I was nuts and said "Yeah, sure!" He took me seriously! Wanting to keep my self respect as a mother, I said "Oh Yeah? You don't believe me? Well watch this!" I had no idea if it would work, but for some reason, part of me just felt like it would. Besides, I wasn't going to have my son thinking I was a crazy idiot. I mustarded all my courage up and stood still as the spider continued walking slowly toward me. Victor said "Hey, it's just the way it is walking - that doesn't prove anything! It isn't after you!" I said "Fine! Watch this!" I quickly moved counter-clockwise from the 3:15 position I was at to the 12:00 position and stood still again. I might as well as had a remote control pointed at the thing! The spider stopped dead in it's track, turned, and again began walking slowing toward me. I smiled smugly and said "See! Now watch this!" I was drunk with confidence now as my son was looking unbelievably at me and this weird spider! I moved to the 8:45 position and stood still. The spider as if on cue, stopped dead in its tracks, turned, and made a beeline for me. Without a word I moved past where my son was standing watching and stood still at the 6:30 position. Victor watched, shaking his head, as the spider stopped, turned, and started toward me again. That was enough to convince him I was not crazy or imagining things. He quickly took one giant step and squished the spider - end of test. Paul was amazed at it too. I was thankful I had two witnesses that day or I even might not of believed it happened. I was still too close to this to understand that my problem was me. I figured the devil had his hand in this. No spider acts that way normally! I lifted it to Father and asked that I no longer be bothered by these dark brown spiders going after me. I believed God would take care of it, and He did. I no longer have them after me. The devil is the beginner to most all fear. He is the one that notices what you are afraid of and capitalizes on it by throwing it at you to increase your fear of it. He too knows full well of the law of believing and is always first to the plate to activate it in the negative toward you. He knows that if you let it, fear can get the best of you, and the law of believing will defeat you. Therefore, you have to recognize it for what it is and use positive belief to conquer it. Renew your mind. If you find there seems to be more bad then good things happening in your life, it is time to do a self attitude check to see if perhaps your own negatives, doubts, worries, or fears are causing them. It works in either direction. Negative belief can overcome positive belief. Jesus Christ found this to be true in his own home town. The people there knew of His earthly family and didn't believe in Him as the Son Of God. Because of this the bible says: Matthew 13: [58] And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief. He did not many mighty works there because of what? 'Their' Unbelief. Not due to his own inability or unbelief but because of their negative belief. Spiders around here are relatively harmless. All you get is a bump from their poison bite. But where my sister lives in Nevada, they have the 'brown recluse' spider. The ones she tells me of are very tiny and have been a serious problem there as more and more people take over their areas in the desert. As their name indicates, they are reclusive - they want to be left alone. If you unknowingly enter into their domain they retaliate by biting you. Unlike many spiders who run from you, the recluse tends to hold it's ground and attack the intruder. A friend of hers had to go into remote areas and check meters as part of his job. Hearing of these cases of recluse spider bites made him worried. Even though it was extremely hot, he started wearing jeans, high top boots, a long sleeve shirt, and heavy gloves to protect himself from them when going out into the more dangerous areas. It wasn't long, though, that this became his normal outfit for all remote areas. Unfortunately, like Job, and me, 'the thing that he greatly feared came upon him'. He was bitten by a recluse while out in a remote area checking meters. It somehow got into his boot and bit him. This man is over 6 foot 250 lbs. It was undetected till he saw a small red rash on his foot and the pain of it made him go to the hospital. The poison from this small spider got into his nervous system. His foot swelled up so bad he couldn't walk, then it went to like mush, eating his tissue away. He had times they thought they would have to amputate. It effects him emotionally and mentally too. He has difficulty remembering things. Sometimes he bursts into uncontrollable tears when having just a normal conversation. He used to be tuff - big and strong. Now he is reduced to a mere fraction of himself. She doesn't hardly recognize him now and he almost never recognizes her. So, beware! The spiders are out there! October is a time when they are out in abundance, looking for nice, warm homes! You just never know when a spider might be 'spying' with one of its 8 eyes in your direction!! ------------------------------------------------ ** Remember: DON'T LET FEAR get the best of you! You have the power of choice. You can Choose to Believe positive or to Believe negative. Or as in these TRUE spider stories, 'To be buggy' or 'Not to be buggy' ... ;) ------------------------------------------------ * REFERENCES: Bible: King James Version: http://www.hti.umich.edu/k/kjv/ More on the Spider - brown recluse: http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic547.htm