IS
YOUR
TODDLER
GAY?
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Is Your Toddler Gay? By EMB
Recently I was reminded of how some people feel about being gay.
They think it isn't something a person chooses to be, but that
somehow they were born gay. Some parents of gay sons even tell us
that they knew when their child was a toddler that there was
something 'different' about him.
Unless a child has some sort of disorder or has medical or health
issues, I have to take exception with this kind of thinking. A small
child preschool age is certainly not going around thinking about
their sexual desires. They don't have any. The only people who think
they do are disillusioned adults and pedophiles! Unless a child has
been molested or perverted by an adult, you won't see little children
going around trying to grope each other or take off hand and hand to
be alone to kiss and fondle each other like teens often do. Adults
do not normally need to chaperone little kids to make sure they are
not coupling. It is just not necessary. The reason is that little
children do not normally think about such things. If they do, then
they have lost their innocence some how and need professional help
and guidance.
If you can remember back to when you were a couple years old or even
common sense will tell you that this is not true. I can remember back
to when I was being potty trained. Yes. I am 60 years old and can
remember back to that age. Why? Because my mom believed that using
shame would help me be potty trained. I remember being outside in the
bright sun with my siblings and neighbor kids having fun playing. I
dodn't remember hearing any sounds until all of the sudden my mom's
angry voice yelled out my name. I rmember being confused as I didn't
know why she was mad. I had to go to her. I don't remember her saying
anything to me. She helped me change into clean underwear and had me
go back outside with my pee soaked underwear on top of my head. All
the kids pointed at me and stared. That made it easy for me to
remember that time in my life.
I have memories of us all playing together. Sometimes the little boys
would like to show their privates off to us girls but we just shunned
them as being 'bad' and went back to making our mud pies. I remember
the mud pies because the little neighbor girl I played with liked to
show off by eating worms she found in her mud while we made pies. She
would laugh and think my reaction was funny. It so grossed me out, I
still gag now just thinking about it!
I also can remember when I was three years old because I broke my leg.
I remember it as if it had just happened yesterday. We often would
play in the back yard of our neighbors house. That day when we got
there they had a strange white thing next to their old garage. My
siblings are all much older than me and taller. My sister teased me
because she was 4 years older than me and could look inside. She'd
look inside it and say, 'Wow. This is great!' I didn't know what it
was but later learned it was an old wringer washer machine. I kept
saying, 'let me see, let me see!' Finally I jumped up on the edge of
it to lift myself up to see inside, it fell on top of me breaking my
upper right leg. My two brothers were half carrying me home and my
oldest brother kept asking me if I was sure I couldn't walk. I'd say
no. Then I remember him saying to my other brother, 'Mom is going to
be really mad at us.'
I had a doctor who made house calls and would make a puckered up
kissy face saying 'Hmmmm' as he examined me. Mom had a makeshift bed
set in the kitchen/living room for me with the traction thing to
keep my leg up in its cast.
Experts say it is our natural survival defense to remember things
that happen to us that are emotionally upsetting or traumatic so
we might not repeat the same life threatening or bad thing again.
That was as far as it went until I was around 4 years old. I remember
being alone in the kitchen with my step-dad when he had me go sit at
the table. He sat next to me and then proceeded to touch me. I did not
like him touching me. It make me feel awkward. Again, I can remember
this as if it just happened yesterday. It is engrained in my memory.
Even at that age it felt wrong. He asked me if it felt good. I was
afraid of him. He was a very mean abusive man. I knew he wanted me to
say yes, but something told me I had to say no. So timidly I said no.
He stopped and told me not to tell my mom. I said OK, glad to be away
from him. A couple days later my mom took me aside and spoke to me.
She asked me if he had touched me down there. I was afraid of my
step-dad but I was even more afraid of lying to my mom so I said yes.
She told me to let her know if he ever did that again. They had a
huge fight over it.
I later learned when I was an adult that he had been molesting and
abusing my older sister. He was looking to add me to his pervert list
but my mom found out and stopped him. Thank God! I just wish my sister
could have been saved from that monster. I also learned that when my
mom finally divorced him he went on to marry a woman with 3 little
girls. I felt so sorry for them. I know they must be reliving the hell
they probably went through having to live with that pedophile pervert
every day of their lives just as if it had happened to them yesterday.
So, NO. I do not believe a young child has any feelings like that.
As far as acting different, perhaps the parents should seek medical
or professional help if that is an issue with their child. Normal
children do not have such issues.
Another thing to consider is what the bible teaches us.
Prov.22:
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old,
he will not depart from it.
Little children naturally parrot someone they look up to or respect.
They may want to talk like them, act like them and look like them.
Also it is normal for a child seeing another child having fun with
a toy on a commercial to think they want that toy too. Even if the
toy is not for their age or gender.
It is important for us as parents or child caregivers to train a
child so they know right from wrong. Good from evil. This also is
true for our society. We need to teach our child the society rules
so he or she can fit best into society so they are not shunned or
become an outcast by the world they will have to live in. Our
society says it is not good for children to hit, kick, bite, pinch,
spit, push, name call, bully, cuss, swear, lie, steal, hurt or
disrespect animals or disrespect other children or their elders.
That is why we teach the 'Golden Rule' to our children, which is
'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Simply put,
if you would not like to be treated that way, then don't do it to
others. These are rules we all have to abide by to get along with
others in our world. As parents or child caregivers we are to 'train
up' our children so they may conform to society rules so it will go
well for them now and later on in their adult life.
This means telling your little 'parrot' that he can't talk like
daddy or have that girl toy that his sister has. Once he understands
society's rules it is easy for him to know what toys are for boys
and what toys are for girls. Girls are the ones who grow up and
become pregnant and have babies so it is normal for society to
expect her to be oriented toward the baby dolls and motherly type
toys. Boys are the ones that will grow up and father the babies and
be responsible to mostly protect and provide for his family. Society
expects this of him. He has to be tough. Girls can play with any toys
they want to. Society does not care if she plays with any traditional
boy type toys.
Boys also shouldn't be allowed to wear girl clothes or makeup or girl
jewelry. Why? It is unacceptable behavior in our society. Not normal.
Men who go into a traditional woman's type job such as a nanny or a
nurse are never expected to wear the women's uniform for that job.
Most employees expect them to wear regular man type clothes - No
dresses or heels. However, girls can dress any way they choose.
Society expects women who go into a traditional man's type job such
as a deputy or a soldier to wear the same uniform as the men wear for
that job. Women can wear men suits, ties and shoes and we accept it.
It is just society norms that we need to help guide and instruct our
children with and train them up so they can fit in and not be outcasts.
It is our duty to help teach our children as best we can so they may turn
out happy, well adjusted, successful and productive members of society.
So, is your toddler gay? Most likely unless there is a physical, mental
or emotional problem the answer is absolutely not!
Parents and child caregivers just need to do what God says to do -
Prov.22:
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old,
he will not depart from it.
God's Best Blessings Always In Christ!
2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth.
May you, and all those you love,
be so blessed and fortunate
as to stand approved before God,
unashamed of your workmanship.
May God Always Bless You and Yours As
You Stand Steadfast on His Word Of Truth!
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