Ants On The Battlefield ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ *~* Our Hearts And Prayers go out to all those suffering from the Thursday shooting on campus at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon. It is heart-wrenching! May God support and be with each and every one affected by this through Christ Jesus. From the details too, I find it is unlike any school shooting I have heard about before. According to reports, the shooter was totally evil, not just deranged, singling out Christians. http://tinyurl.com/pbtj45c -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) It took me all day, but I finally dug in and got a Fall - Halloween Index page done. Long over due actually. You'll find the web site Fall pages and Halloween related pages here along with some of its creepy, gross, and scary pages as well. That's one thing this world God created is never short of - variety! The ShangralaFamilyFun.com web site pages certainly do reflect that! ,, ,, ,\\//, ,\\//, ,\\\///, ,, ,\\\///, \\\\//// ,\\//, \\\\//// \\\/// ,\\\///, \\\/// ###### \\\\//// ###### ////\\\\ \\\/// ////\\\\ /////\\\\\###### /////\\\\\//////\\\\////\\\\ //////\\\\\\/,///\\\/////\\\\\ //////_?_\\\\(_) //////\\\\\\, .'`---`'. _j_///////\\\\\(_) /.'a a \.'`---`'. |: ^ /.'d\ /b \ \' www |: ^ | '._____.'\' VVV / jgs '._____.' Fall - Halloween Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html -<>- . __ __ |--| |--| .._ o' o' (()))) _ o' o' //\\\ | __ )) _ _)) ,' ; | __ ((-.-\) o' |--| ,;::::;. (C ) / /^ o' |--| _))'='(\-. o' o' ,:;;;;;::. )\ -'( / / o' o' ( \ :' o o `:: ,-)() /_.')/ . | | .)(. |\ \ ( (_ ) / ( `' /\_) .:izf:,_ . | | | _ _| \ \ :| ,==. |: / , _ / 1 \ .:q568Glip-, \ | \ \/ '-' (__\_\____::\`--'/:: / / / \/ /|\ \-38'^"^`8k=' \L, \__\\[][]____(_\_|::,`--',:: / / /__/ <( \ \8) o o 18-'_ ( / :\o*.-.( '-,': _ :`.| L----' _)/ ))-..__)( J 498:- /] : [ \ | |=| ' |\_____|,/.' //. -38, 7~ P88;-'/ / : | \ \ | | |_| | | || :: (( : : ,`""'`-._,' / : | \ \ ; | | | | \ \_::_)) | : , ,_ / :( | / )) / /| | | | | [ | \_\ _;--==--._ MJP: | / / / / | | | | | Y |CJR (_\____:_ _: : | / / _/ / \ |lf | | CJ|mk | | ,--==--. |_`--==--'_| " `--==--' *~* We Had A Fabulous Month Of Sharing And Caring Last Month! Please Visit And Share These WIth Your Friends And Family: World's Largest Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/largestanimals.html Beautiful Beaches In America! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beaches4.html Updated: K9 9/11 Heroes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/k9-11.html Proud Of Our Troops 7! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops7.html 9/11 Tribute! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tribute.html 9/11 Where God Wants Me! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wheregodwantsme.html Rare Exotic Cats! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarecats.html Elephant Rescue 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant3.html 1936 Stout Scarab! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stoutscarab.html Moses And The Red Sea! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mosesredsea.html Israel's 9/11 Tribute! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/israeltribute.html Butterfly's Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/butterflystory.html _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _( )_ ( ) ( ) _( )_ ( ) ( ) _( )_ ( ` ' )| |_| | _ _ __ ( ` ' )| |_| | _ _ __ ( ` ' ) > < | _ |( ) ( ) /'_ `\ > < | _ |( ) ( ) /'_ `\ > < (_, ,_)| | | || (_) |( (_) |(_, ,_)| | | || (_) |( (_) |(_, ,_) (_) (_) (_)`\___/'`\__ | (_) (_) (_)`\___/'`\__ | (_) ( )_) | ( )_) | \___/' \___/' unknown * May God Abundantly Bless All Our Sweet Thoughtful Contributors! * =========================================================== >-->From Heartwarmers: _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >WHEN LAUGHTER HEALS by Ellie Braun-Haley While visiting mother at the nursing home, I was fixing her hair and placing a colorful barrette in it. Mom hadn't laughed at anything in a long time so we were both almost a pair of old sourpusses. Lately, I seemed to be matching her frame of mind. Mom was watching as I put the barrette in her hair and she commented on her wrinkles which actually are few for someone in her 90s. "Wrinkles!" I said. Spontaneous laughter erupted, "Surely we are not going to start worrying about wrinkles!" Immediately she too was laughing. This was a foreign sound to both of us and I don't know what her thoughts were about that laughter -- that superb burst of happiness. However, I haven't stopped laughing since then. Laughter does some amazing things for us and I think we need to constantly remind ourselves. If we actually laugh, even when we don't feel like it, it wakes up something deep within us. Our organs respond, enjoying the massage they receive with this process. Yes, I am saying even a phony laugh can put us in a good mood and help our organs! Personally, I feel our soul gets outright perky with every laugh! And with a laugh, there is some type of nozzle or goofy button that automatically releases the stress within us! Okay, I don't know the name of it, but I do know that laughter releases stress! There is a release of endorphins. Now we all know that these are chemicals that not only relieve pain but just make us feel downright good all over! And I do know that our health and immune system is bolstered by a good giggle session or laughter after hearing two very silly jokes. Laughter affects our respiration. More oxygen circulates through the body, so our lung capacity is improved! Running or brisk walking would do this too! I have also read articles by doctors and scientists commenting on laughter and how it prevents heart disease. In fact, one man used laughter therapy to repair his heart! When we laugh, people around us are inclined to follow suit. So our laughter may be just the prescription needed for someone who feels lost and lonely! We are quite able to spread flu and colds but have we considered how very infectious laughter can be? And have we considered that we have the ability to spread it around? I can hardly wait to get back and visit mother. Let me see, what are the ways I can get her to laugh? I felt so close to mother when we laughed together last week and hopefully she felt closer to me. Can laughter bind us together? No one else was in on the joke. It was ours and it was goofily, beautifully, wonderful. Now that I replay those moments, I also felt lighter, a bit more energetic. Everything just felt good! So I am looking forward to another visit. I guess I should add that laughter gives us hope! I am inspired and hopeful for a wonderful visit! Next time I feel out of sorts and I feel down because of a visit to see mom, someone please send me these notes back to me! I'll laugh, feel better and be ready to tackle the world and all its problems. -- Ellie Braun-Haley =========================================================== , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >-->When Push Comes To Shove... by emb Every since I joined Facebook, it has been my policy to friend any one who wants to be friends with me there. I am even friends with ones I suspect are Nigerian scammers. The reason why is because I use Facebook to mainly promote my web site and Christianity. I am certainly not going to turn any one away. However, I recently did just that by unfriending a person on there. The sad thing is, it was a woman that is a distant relative of Paul. The reason I unfriended her is, I feel push came to shove from her. I have many friends on FB that do not hold my conservative political point of view. Which is fine with me. She is one of those. She was a strong Clinton lover turned now to the socialist Bernie Sanders since Hillary has been found to have all those legal and lying issues. The problem with her is she would constantly post photos that were clearly hate messages directed at or about Republicans. Most of which were exaggerated or out and out lies. I got so I mostly just tried to ignore them as I was doing my daily socializing of giving my friends support for their posts. Looking at her photos with their lies always put me in an irritated bad mood, yet I kept her as a friend. However, she pushed me too far when she posted these two in a row. The first one said 'The Republicans pay far more attention to [picture of Kim Davis] then they do to [Picture of the Pope]'. And one of her friends posted 'Yeah, she's just a big bigot! Jesus wouldn't do that'. As you may remember, Kim Davis was the new Christian who refused to hand out marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples because as head of the department, her name had to be on every marriage license or it was not legal. She was sent to jail for not complying and then finally they worked things out so her name was scratched out of the licenses and she could return to work with her employees handing them out. You may remember, I said given the same circumstances, I'd go to jail too! Well, it is one thing to lie on the Republicans but to lie on Jesus Christ is just shoving me too far! The person obviously does not know the bible. Look it up dear... Sodom /?s?d?m/ noun 1. (Old Testament) a city destroyed by God for its wickedness that, with Gomorrah, traditionally typifies depravity (Genesis 19:24) 2. this city as representing homosexuality 3. any place notorious for depravity http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sodom This is where we get the word Origin of SODOMY Medical Definition of SODOMY : anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite gender; also : copulation with an animal Middle English, from Anglo-French sodomie, from Late Latin Sodoma Sodom; from the homosexual proclivities of the men of the city in Genesis 19:1–11 First Known Use: 13th century http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sodomy , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' Jesus ALWAYS did the Will of the Father. That was why he could give his life for us. He was the Lamb of God - Perfect, harmless and sinless. His blood was for our atonement of sins. He never went against God. Even in the New Testament, God calls same gender unions vile. Romans 1:26,27 Jesus would never allow His name on a document legalizing same gender marriages. It is against God so Jesus would not do it. Her next post was the final shove. She posted a photo of a black man standing in the midst of a room filled with grocery bags. She posted that the Black Panthers were really good people helping out many of the poor and needy people just like Black Lives Matters people are good people. That was it for me. That would be like saying the KKK are really good people because they have good intentions and help people. Hate is hate! God is love. Hate is of the devil. These groups are racist haters. Then you put Black Lives Matters in there and you add ones who hate police and authority as well as any one who is not of African decent - mainly white people. Our laws are derived from the God's 10 Commandments. Our Police are hired to do the job of enforcing these laws to try to have a society that is not out of control with evil doings, thugs and hatred. Black Lives Matter even advocate killing our innocent cops! As far as the Pope goes. He actually met with Kim Davis. This is what happened: 'On Wednesday, Davis and her legal team at the Liberty Counsel said that the meeting had been brief, and that the pope had thanked Davis for her courage and told her, "Stay strong." http://tinyurl.com/o6g7ju3 I don't like unfriending people on FB, but she just pushed me too far! =========================================================== >-->From Archives InspiredBuffalo: _|_ | .-'''''-. .-' '-. .-' :::::_::::: '-. ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___ /_____________________________\ ':'-._________________________.-'_ ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_ '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _| ::|=|* ___ _ ___ *|=|'.| | ':| |' ))_) )) ))_) '| |::.^| _:|=|' ((`\ (( (( '|=|::::::. _| || |' _ '| |:::::::. |_ |=|'1634 _( )_ 1789'|=|':::::. | || |' ( (_ ~ _) ) '| | ':::' |^||=|* ) (_) ( *|=| '::' | '-------------------' .::::' |_____________________.::::::' .'___________________.::::::'' |_______________.::::'':::''' .'_____________.::::::''::::'' .:::'''' LGB .'::::' .:::::''':. .:::::' >Live Backwards Ben’s first duty as a new pastor was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who had died in his eighties. Since he didn’t know the deceased, he invited members of the congregation to say a few kind words about Albert. No one budged. “Many of you knew Albert for years,” Ben prompted them. “Surely someone can say something nice.” After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said, “Well, his brother was worse.” If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Would their comments make you proud of the way you lived and the choices you made? There’s an old saying: “If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you’d like people to say about you after you die - and live backwards.” Thinking about the legacy we want to leave can help us keep our priorities straight. When the end is near, it’s not likely any of us will say, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” Unfortunately, many of us only begin to realize the value of the time we have after we’ve frittered much of it away in shallow ruts going nowhere important. It’s hard to think now what will matter later. But doing so can dramatically improve our chances of living a full and meaningful life with few regrets. Knowing how we want to be remembered also allows us to make a strategic plan for our lives. How much wiser would our choices be if we had the wisdom and discipline to regularly ask ourselves whether all the things we do and say are taking us where we want to be at the end? In a sense, we write our eulogies by the choices we make every day. - Michael Josephson -<>- ,sdPBbs. ,d$$$$$$$$b. d$P'`Y'`Y'`?$b d' ` ' \ `b / | \ \ / / \ | \ _,--' | \ | /' _/ \ | \ _/' /' | \ `-.__ __/' ,-' / | | \ `--...__ /' / | / \ \ `-. `\ / /;;,,__-' / / \ \ `-. / |;;;;;;;\ \ >"Echo - This rule of Nature" A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh." Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, "Ahhhhh!" Filled with curiosity, he screams: "Who are you?", but the only answer he receives is:"Who are you?" This makes him angry, so he screams: "You are a coward!", and the voice answers:"You are a coward!" He looks at his father, asking, Dad, what is going on?" "Son," the man replies, "pay attention!" Then he screams, "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!" The father shouts, "You are wonderful!", and the voice answers:"You are wonderful!" The boy is surprised, but still can't understand what is going on. Then the father explains, "People call this an 'ECHO', but truly it is 'LIFE!' Life always gives you back what you give out! Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love! If you want more kindness, give more kindness! If you want understanding and respect, give more understanding and respect! If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give more patience and respect! This rule of nature applies to every aspect of life! --- ...giving = receiving! -<>- >Links for Your Enjoyment: Gay Agenda http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/gayagenda.html Crossed The Line http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/crossedtheline.html Eagle Rescue!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Famous People!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/famous.html Awesome Bikes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesomebikes.html Kilroy Was Here!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html Fun Science Ads!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/science.html Space Trivia Facts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spacetrivia.html Jay Leno's Garage!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jaylenogarage.html Amazing Trivia Facts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html Lambeau Field Tribute!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/footballvet.html Arrows Across America!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html Amazing Athlete Homes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/athletehomes.html Celebrities Then And Now! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Even if you've never seen "Psycho," you know which scene I'm talking about. It's one of the most legendary scenes in the history of cinema, but I bet you never knew what happened behind the scenes. Watch this video for an amazing look at how Alfred Hitchcock's most famous movie moment came to be. Wow! I never knew how much went into the famous 'Psycho' shower scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WNYpzpNA_AE When he went on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, Darcy Oake left the audience and judges with their mouths open agape. This illusionist performs his magic using doves, fire, and sleight of hand. The question remains – does he keep the pigeons on his person? https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gO_KyTtJg10 Prepare to be amazed by these 19 Cats Who Are Totally Bad. These cats obviously know they have 9 Lives and aren't afraid to use a few of them to make a stand. Any cat or dog that stands it's ground against a bear is pretty tough and deserves a badge of courage that hopefully isn't red for their valiant actions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rjmO7Du9Z3g The mailman prepares to do battle with a feisty cat as he delivers mail to a house where every day it's an epic contest of Mailman Vs. Cat. Most people look forward to getting some mail as long as it's not a bill but this cat doesn't seem to want any mail at all. Perhaps if the cat had a Canadian Mailman delivering the mail it would be a little more well behaved. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHfFn6V4v-E&feature=player_embedded --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) The cocoa bean farmers tasting chocolate for the first time. We just don't realize how lucky we are!!! http://tinyurl.com/ocl4kj5 Ant Hill Art http://tinyurl.com/qcmk99z --- ...Wowsers! Pretty intricate! Thanks Melinda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) China Seen through a Drone https://player.vimeo.com/video/107995891 A short historical perspective to quickly remind us of how we got here in the first place. https://www.youtube.com/embed/MioNZBRrKZg Mysteries of the Unseen World http://tinyurl.com/nk8f8s3 --- ...Awesome! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) How Old People Park Their Car http://biggeekdad.com/2012/01/how-old-people-park-their-car/ Funny Pug Vines Compilation MAY 2014 - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krCvcOWM92Y Ana Yang Gazillion Bubble Show https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KMrvR836TFI?rel=0 --- ...Sweet! Thanks Melody! Visit Melissa's Online Store You can get anything you want (except for Melissa ) at the online store http://pdhomes.net/mall/babylissa/mySTORES/ISELL4.html ========================================================== .;';. ';. ';..;' ' ';. ' ' .;' .;' - = .;' .;', , , :: .;'.;'.;'.;' .;' .;'.;'.;'.;' .;' AsH ';.';.';.';.;' >Hurting Hands Story Editor: by Scott Hewett Joyce Schowalter California, USA During the winter of 1986 I was working in construction near Oakland, California. It is not unusual for construction workers' hands to become very painful during the winter season from working with concrete, wet lumber, mud, etc. My hands were no exception that year. They were literally cracking open and bleeding at the joints in the fingers and thumbs. Stopping work because of hurting hands is simply not an option in the construction industry. You grit your teeth, keep working, and finish the job -- but do further damage to your hands in the process. The only respite occurs on weekends. My co-workers and I had been consoling each other daily on how bad our hands had gotten. The pain is similar to "paper cuts" occurring many times an hour. One morning I left for work at 5:00 a.m. to pour concrete, and pulled into a gas station to fuel up. As I got out of my truck, I noticed a newspaper delivery van and the driver struggling with bales of daily newspapers. I took a second look, and noticed that the man had some sort of birth defect and had no forearms. At the area where most people have elbows, he had appendages that looked more like an otter's flippers than hands. I was amazed to see him doing a job that would otherwise require a very physically gifted person. Still, he was somewhat struggling with the larger bundles, because his arms simply weren't long enough to encircle the bales. Instead he had to "pinch" the bundles and lift them with his stubby arms. On my way to pay for the gasoline, I stopped and asked him if I could help him in any way. He politely refused my offer. A few minutes later while I was refueling, he exclaimed, "Hey buddy, I could use some help. Would you mind tying my shoes for me?" As I was tying his shoes, he went on to explain that tying his shoes was the *only* thing he couldn't do for himself. He thanked me as I got in my truck and started to drive away. I came to a full stop and looked back at him as he was getting into his van. I looked down at my hands. Suddenly it hit me: I had been complaining about my hurting hands for weeks. That man back there would do anything, anything at all, to have my cracked and bleeding hands. Every winter when my hands start cracking and bleeding, I think back to that chance encounter in 1986. That man would do anything to have these hands. And just like magic, they stop hurting. =======HeroicStories======= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- >HOLY HUMOR **A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means? The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' ======= There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady. ======== "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." ======== A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years.. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." ======== There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." ======== While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust." ======== A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... " ======== A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." ======== People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention. ======== Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming." ======== The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner.." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! ------- When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeated him!!! Any other takers? --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Linda! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Melinda :) _|_ | _|_ //_/\ __| ||____ ////////////\ /////////////\\ |^^^^^^^^^^||+| | # # # |||| .... ....". ||||||||||||||||| unknown >More HOLY HUMOR During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People. 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store. GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence: "I think I'd throw up." DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms." THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD "A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know." UNANSWERED PRAYER The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked. BEING THANKFUL A Rabbi said to a precocious 6-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!" SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook.” --- ...LOL! Thanks Melinda! ========================================================== >-->From LaughAndLift: \ / \ / \.-./ (o\^/o) _ _ _ __ ./ \.\ ( )-( )-( ) .-' '-. {-} \(// || \\/ ( )) '-. //-__||__.-\\. .-' (/ () \)'-._.-' || || \\ MJP (' (' ') >Ants on the Battlefield (By Chris Long) I just got back from battle. And boy am I exhausted! I have hope that maybe this time, I FINALLY have won...but I'm not so sure. What am I talking about, you say? ANTS! A few weeks ago, I noticed a couple of them in the bathroom, killed them and thought nothing more of them. A few days later, and a few more appeared - this time in the kitchen - which I again killed and thought little of them. Then they started showing up in the den. This time there were several, so I went out and saw where they were coming in and dutifully sprayed them. Problem solved, I thought. Boy I can sure be naive! Ants, I have discovered, are quite the tenacious little critters! For a few days, all was calm...and THEN, several were in the kitchen - not a lot mind you, but enough that they were becoming a problem. I killed all the ones I could see and then I went outside and found a whole trail of ants and sprayed them. Again, all seemed fine for a few days. Then tonight, they were all over the kitchen, high up on the walls, above the pantry, at the sink - you get the picture. Subsequently I discovered that they were also in the living room. I even found one lone ranger in the den. It took me hours to clean up and do a full house perimeter check - spraying all around the house. For now, I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I've showed them who's the boss and they won't be dropping by for a visit again anytime soon. Then again, I may just be living in some fantasy land. I'm not quite sure. The Orkin Man may be my next call... :) But, you know, these pesky ants got me to thinking. About sin. And about spiritual warfare. You know, unlike most of my previous ant experiences, these ants were a tricky bunch. They didn't just all show up one day in one location and make it easy for me to eliminate them. No, they initially showed up a few at a time, making it easy for me to dismiss them as "not really a problem". How often this has this been my experience with sin! The devil knows that often times the easiest way to snare someone is not to rush at them all at once - to lay a giant temptation. No, he often starts with small, seemingly little things - things that lull us little by little away from God and His desires for us - all the while maintaining a false sense of security. Then the devil lays out the big one - the big trap. Weakened by so many of the little compromises we've already made, it is then much easier for us to give in. Had the devil tried to lay the big one from the outset, we probably would instantly recognize it as a problem and resist. But by drawing us little by little away from the things of the Lord, we become desensitized to the voice of the Lord and in our weakened state, we're just like a deer caught in the headlights waiting for the car to come and take us out... When I first saw those ants, what I SHOULD have thought was: "ANTS!!! They shouldn't be here! I'm going to kill them and then go make sure there are no others!" But, instead, I mostly ignored them, not realizing that a much larger ant problem was soon to be in my future. Because I took a passive posture, rather than an active one, I set myself up for so much more trouble than I might otherwise have had. And that's how it is with sin. Whether we like it or not, the reality is that we are involved in a war. We don't get a choice. There is major spiritual warfare going on all the time behind the scenes. When we accepted Christ as our Savior, we actively chose Jesus and moved from the kingdom of the devil into the kingdom of God. But the devil, he just ain't content with that. No, he will still try to woo us and he loves for us to live weak, sin-filled, ineffective lives - where we aren't a good witness for Jesus Christ. There is spiritual warfare going on in the spiritual dimmension over us. And it's not just a war between angelic beings. We are a participant in that war whether we want to be or not. It is a part of the cosmic struggle between the devil and God. We were once on the side of the devil (whether we knew it or not). When we chose Jesus, we transferred onto God's team. But we're still a part of the war. We don't get to just sit on the sidelines. And God doesn't intend for us to sit on the sidelines. The Bible tells us to be active. We are told to "put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22b-23) Did you catch it? "Put off", "Put on": These are action words. Same thing a bit later in the well known part of Ephesians 6 where we are told: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." (Ephesians 6:11) We've got to actively put on that armor. We've got to stand our ground. We've got to take up our shield, put on our helmet, wield our sword (the Word of God!). We've got to be prepared for battle and maintain a healthy, vibrant prayer life. If we're not active, we're passive. And if we're passive, we're just asking for it because the devil and his cohorts are NOT passive: they are QUITE active and they WILL be paying you a visit (and like my ants, they'll keep coming back!). You can count on that. So as believers in Jesus Christ, we really only get one option if we want to live vibrant, joyful, powerful, abundant lives: We MUST actively fight. We're told in God's Word to "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:15-16). We're told in Philippians 4:8, to think on (put into our minds) things that are "noble", "right", "pure", "lovely", "admirable", "excellent", and "praiseworthy." If a believer spends their days and nights listening to worldly music, watching worldly t.v. shows and movies, engaging in worldly entertainment, focussing on the world's gadgets and gizmos, etc. then it probably shouldn't come as a big surprise why they are not living the victorious, abundant life God wants them to live. I mean, if a movie has inappropriate language and/or sexual situations (stirs up lust) and/or messages and themes contrary to Scripture (i.e. "revenge", "living together before marriage is ok", "homosexuality should be celebrated", etc.) then we really need to ask ourselves what part of that is "noble", "right", "pure", "lovely", "admirable", "excellent", and "praiseworthy." It's the little compromises that set us up for bigger failures. If we're not active in fighting the "good fight of faith" (1 Timothy 6:12a), then we're passively just awaiting the devil to come and tweak us out and rip us off. Jesus, aluding to the devil, said: "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) If we will take the time to really read and study God's Word, talk to God in prayer, spend time with other believers, and put good and edifying things into our minds, we will reap a beautiful harvest. We will truly live the type of God-honoring lives where not only are we living the abundant life Jesus talked about (which is only found in Him), but it will be a tremendous witness to those around us as well. (sidenote: our witness with others is one of the key things the enemy is after!) In the end, God's Word tells us how this great longtime war between God and the devil (with the other fallen angels) turns out. They lose. God wins. End of story. But, in the meantime, we are involved in the here-and-now as a part of what is going on. And for our own sake and the sake of those around us, we cannot afford to be inactive. Back to those ants: You know, I don't know whether they're going to show their pesky little ant faces again. I'd like to think they are but a distant memory. But I know this: the next time I see one or two of them, I have no intention of ignoring them. Because, you know what? Those ants mean business! ------------------- This is version 1.0 of this document (September 30, 2010). This document is provided as a ministry outreach via Laugh & Lift. http://www.laughandlift.com This article is Copyright by Chris Long 2010. You may use this article for free for any purpose, whether commercial or non-commercial, as long as you use the entire text and that all text, including this notice, is not modified or removed in any fashion. For any other usage, you must obtain written permission from the author. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. --- \_/ '-0-' --0-- .-0-. \_/ '-0-' --0-- .-0-. \_/ '-0-' --0-- jgs .-0-. ...Yes. Ants do mean business. They send out a couple scouts first to see if there is any food or water in the area. If they return, they most likely report, 'Come and dine!', to the rest of the ant colony, 'The queen eats tonight!'. That is why when you see an ant in the house, you must always seek it out and make sure it never gets back to the colony or you may have a huge infestation later! Like Chris pointed out so nicely here, we are in a war. The devil uses whats works against us in pretty much the same way. Once he can get through our initial defenses, then it is like a huge infestation we have to clean up. Once he gets us to lower our Godly morals and say, 'It isn't so bad. We can live with that'. Then he takes over more and more of our morals until we wonder what happened to them and say to ourselves, 'How did we come to this depravity?' ========================================================== >-->From Kidwarmers: .-. o \ .-. .----.' \ .'o) / `. o / | \_) /-. '_.` \ \ `. | \ | \ | .--/`-. / / .'.-/`-. `. .\| /.' /`._ `- '-. ____(|__/`-..`- '-._ \ |`------.'-._ ` ||\ \ || # /-. ` / || \| || #/ `--' / /_::_|)__ `|____|-._.-` / ||`--------` \-.___.` | / || # | \ | | || # # | /`.___.'\ |.`|________| | /`.__.'|'.` __/ \ __/ \ /__.-.) /__.-.) LGB >THE FUNNIEST THINGS KIDS SAY Abby watches the news every morning to check the weather and then she discusses with her mother what they should wear or if they need an umbrella. This past week on their way to preschool it started to sprinkle. Abby said, "Hey, I thought it was going to rain later in the afternoon and night." Her mom said, "Yeah, so did I. That's what the weatherman said on TV." Abby replied, "I guess Jesus doesn't have a TV up there." -- Mary Lehman (mother of Abby Smith) of Kendallville, Indiana A 3-year-old was walking with his father down the sidewalk which leads to the entrance of Nancy's family day care home. The little boy said, "Boy, Daddy, Nancy sure does have a lot of MEATBALLS on her sidewalk!" (He meant acorns!) -- Nancy of Eagle, Wisconsin Weston, 6, had been having fevers all summer. The doctors ruled out anything truly bad, but still didn't know what was causing the fevers. In late summer he spiked a temperature of 106 and was taken to the emergency department. He has been having blood drawn, and a lot of other poking and prodding done for a long time now. At the hospital they were doing it all over again. It was 2 a.m. The doctor told him if he didn't settle down and cooperate, she was going to get two nurses to hold him down. Weston was in no mood to cooperate. He looked her in the eye and said, "You'd better bring three!" -- Kas Quimby (grandmother of Weston) of Elma, Washington .--. .--. / `. o o .' \ \ \ \ / / / /\_ \ .-"-. / _/\ ( V ^ ^ V ) \_ _| 9_9 |_ _/ `. //\__o__/\\ .' `._//\=======/\\_.' /_/ /\=====/\ \_\ _// \===/ \\_ /_/_//`='\\_\_\ hjw /_/ \_\ Max, 4, was peeking in his grandmother's pantry. A moment later he came her, holding up a box of cake mix, asking innocently, "Nana, please can I open this and have a piece of the cake?" He assumed that there was a ready-to-eat chocolate cake, already frosted, inside the cake mix box, because that's what the picture on front showed. -- Sandi (grandmother of Max) in Florida Debbi approached the garbage with a pair of shoes whose bottoms had worn through. Showing them to Anna, 13, Debbi remarked, "I think it's time for these to go, wouldn't you say?" Anna didn't miss a beat as she bowed her head and remorsefully replied, "Yes, the poor soles." -- Debbi Armstrong of Florida Dylan, 6, is doing very well so far in first grade. His father was bragging that Dylan had made "100" on both a spelling and an arithmetic test. When his grandparents congratulated him for being so smart, Dylan just smiled and said, "It's because I have a big brain!" -- Dennis Smith (PawPaw) of North Carolina .-"-. .-"-. @@/ \ / \@@ Y '-<<<-' '->>>-' Y ''' jgs ``` Here's another one from Dennis. Dylan's younger brother Dalton, 4, was saying the blessing at lunch. He said, "Thank you, God, for the food and Mommy and Daddy, and Nanna and PawPaw, and the nice weather, and the table and chairs." When Ginger was visiting her 4-year-old grandson in Arizona she took her coffee cup into the family room. He said, "Grandma, you have to go to the table with your cup because it doesn't have a lid on it. We have rules at our house you know!" -- Ginger Kennedy of Garrett, Indiana At the airport they were having lunch and Ginger's 4-year-old grandson -- who is used to thanking Mommy and Daddy at meals for whatever each has cooked -- was told to "thank Grandma for lunch." He was confused. "I don't think I have to thank Grandma," he said. "She didn't cook it. That lady over there did!" Gale is the grandmother of Joshua who just turned 3. This is a shortened version of a conversation she had with Joshua one night as they were getting ready for Joshua to say his prayers. Joshua commented that "Jesus and God -- they are bad." Gale said, "No, they are good. The devil is bad." "The devil is not bad," Joshua said. "He is just understood." Gale figured he meant "misunderstood." She corrected Joshua and emphasized that the devil is bad. "He's not a bad boy any more, Grandma," Joshua said. "You just must of missed that part." Gale says she has no idea where Joshua came up with those ideas! -- Gale Spence of Angola, Indiana ,, ,, ((((( ))))) (((((( )))))) (((((( )))))) (((((,r@@@@@@@@@@e,))))) (((@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))) \@@/,:::,\/,:::,\@@ /@@@|:::::||:::::|@@@\ / @@@\':::'/\':::'/@@@ \ / /@@@@@@@//\\@@@@@@@\ \ ( / '@@@@@====@@@@@' \ ) \( / \ )/ \ ( ) / \ / David Riley Diane's grandson was on a flight from Chicago to Fort Myers as an unaccompanied minor. He was about 5. To try to keep him busy, the people around him started talking to him. When asked why he was going to Florida he said, "To see Grandma Di." The passengers were dismayed. It later became clear to them that he was going to visit his Grandma Diane! The flight attendant was laughing as she escorted him from the plane to the family's waiting arms! She couldn't wait to tell the story. -- Darlene Clark (mother of Grandma Di) of Lehigh Acres, Florida Wendy's fianc? (and later her husband) Graeme was 16 years older than his baby sister Leanne who had just turned 4. Wendy was trying out a friend's wedding gown and came out to parade it. With her blue eyes getting bigger by the minute, Leanne breathlessly declared that Wendy looked beautiful. She then decided she wanted to also get married and pondered on a prospective bridegroom. An idea dawned and she stated that she would marry "Daddy." Her mother quashed the idea by informing her that Daddy was already married to Mummy. Undaunted, she triumphantly stated that she would marry her brother Graeme. Her mother told her that she couldn't as he was about to marry Wendy. Undeterred, she then chose her older sister Helen's fianc? and once again was told that he was engaged to marry Helen. In sheer desperation, she sobbed as there was absolutely no man left that she knew she could marry! (Leanne is now in her 30's and happily married to Stuart.) -- Wendy Robinson of Sydney, Australia This story comes from England -- and it actually closely resembles a story shared with me a number of years ago by northeast Indiana family. (It shows how kinds minds around the world work alike!) Fiona was trained as an art teacher and a Montessori teacher in Dublin, Ireland, and this is where this story occurred. She was working with 3 and 4 year-olds in the weeks prior to Christmas and they all painted nativity pictures. Fiona was wandering about helping a child here, commenting there. "Look at the wonderful star!" she told one little boy. Then she noticed what appeared to be an "aeroplane" (spelled the British way) in the sky. "What's that?" Fiona asked, thinking that she would have to explain that in those days there were no aeroplanes. "That's Pontious the Pilot," the little boy replied. -- Fiona Pinsker (now in Bristol, England) _ _ (o\ /o) /::\ o o /::\ /:'':\ \___/ /:'':\ /:' ':\/6 . 6\/:' ':\ (o:. '( ._. )' .:o) _.-'''-. `\:. \ / .:/` .' '. `\:. /`---'\ .:/` : : `)://`===`\\:(` '. .' /:(/\-===-/\):\ '. .' /:'.,/ /^\ \,.':\ '..' jgs /:.:/(_/ \_)\:.:\ .''._ (::/` : `\::) .' `-....-'` \o) '. (o/ .' ^ '. ^ .' `'''''''''` This next story took me a moment to "get." But it's cute. Mindy's son Sawyer, 3, was with her when she went to mail a letter. When he asked her what she was doing, she said, "I have to mail a letter." He asked, "Is it a ?W?'" -- Mindy Spiridon of Garden City, Michigan John, who is 50, remembers when he was 5 and his dad said, "Let me smooth down your cow lick." John immediately asked, "Was it one of Mr. Regan's cows that licked me?" -- John of Lafayette, Louisiana Cindy's daughter and family are big Georgia Bulldogs (University of Georgia) fans. Georgia's school colors are red and black. Cindy's granddaughter Amber, 4, just loves the "Dawgs," as she calls them. Kelli, her mom, took Amber and Briana, 1, to the doctor for a check-up. Amber had to add her 2 cents to everything Kelli was saying to the doctor. Kelli was telling the doctor that Amber is very creative with crayons. Kelli told the doctor that Amber had taken a red crayon and a black crayon and decorated her kitchen floor with them. Without missing a beat, Amber yelled, "GO DAWGS!" -- Cindy Waters of Middleburg, Florida .--. .--. \ / |\ `\___/' /| \\ .-'@ @`-. // || .'_________`. || \\.'^ Y ^`.// .' | `. : | : : | : : | : : _ | _ : :. (_) | (_) : __::. | :__ /.--::. | :--.\ __//' `::. | .' `\\___ `--' //`::. | .'\\ `--' || `-.__|__.-' || jgs || || // \\ |/ \| Five-year-old Kendall prides herself on her early reading skill. During the family's recent vacation to Florida, she practiced reading the street signs. When she came to University Dr. she read University Road. "No," said brother Arrin. "Remember road is abbreviated Rd." Kendall quickly corrected herself: "Oh, yes, that says Dr. So it must be University Doctor." -- Rebecca Hayes (grandmother of Kendall) of Newtown Square, Pennsylvania Robert was helping his granddaughters get dried after swimming in the pool. The girls began to bicker. He told them, "If you girls don't stop arguing I'm going to go home." Becka, 6, didn't understand, but Kaylea, 5, quick spoke up, "But this is your home!" and grinned at him. -- Jean and Robert Felfe of Spicewood, Texas Note: You are welcomed to use, copy and share these stories, but please reference http://www.funnykids.com as the source. ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Fran :) _ _ / `._ _.' \ ( @ : `. .' : @ ) \ `. `. ._ _. .' .' / \;' `. `. \ / .' .' `;/ \`. `. \ \_/ / .' .'/ ) :-._`. \ (:) / .'_.-: ( (`.....,`.\/:\/.',.....') >------._|:::|_.------< / .'._>_.-|:::|-._<_.'. \ |o _.-'_.-^|:|^-._`-._ o| |`' ;_.-'|:|`-._; `'| jgs ".o_.-' ;."|:|".; `-._o." ".__." \:/ ".__." ^ >Dreams Come True Choose a wish, find a dream Pick a wishing star Let your hopes and spirits soar High and free and far. Reach for the unreachable Stretch to touch the sky Know no dream you treasure Is too far away or high. Believe in the impossible Then work and try and do For only those who dare to dream Can make a dream come true! ~Author Unknown~ --- ...A good one! Thanks Fran! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************