God Said VS I Said... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot tottie is from our friend Sandi And Jo Ann. This was just stunning! Check it out and see for yourself here... /', _ _( ;-'.' _,-'~ '". '" ~. . _. '. _.-' ~'--. ) '~ ~--'=._ /)_.-. _.-' ' <~ .-" _ ~ \ .-' '-._) .' PjP Black Fawn Deer! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deer.html --- ...What a delight! Thank you gals! -<>- This next hottie is from our friend Johanna. Just a fun one to muse over. Check it out here... .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' World's Best Husband! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/husbands.html --- ...LOL! I enjoyed this one! Thanks Johanna! -<>- *~* We Had An AWESOME Month Of Caring And Sharing! __ __ .' '.' `. _.-| o | o |-._ .~ `.__.'.__.'^ ~. .~ ^ / \ ^ ~. \-._^ ^| | ^_.-/ `\ `-._ \___/ ^_.-' /' `\_ `--...--' /' `-.._______..-' /\ /\ __/ \__ | |/ /_ .'^ ^ `. .' `__\ .' ^ ^ `.__.'^ .\ \ .' ^ . ^ . ^ .' \/ / / ^ \'.__.' | ^ /| ^ | \ \|^ ^ | `\^ | ^ | `~| ^ | | ^ ^ | \^ / `. ^ .' jgs : ^ ; .-~~~~~~ | ^ ~~~~~~-. / ^ ^ | ^ \ \^ ^ / \ ^ ^ / `~~~~~~~~' `~~~~~~~~~' * Please Be Sure To Share And Visit Each Of These... Jobs That Suck! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Life's Little Oops 7! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops7.html My Catty Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catlife.html Chalk Art 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart4.html Wall Mural Art 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart3.html *~* SPECIAL THANKS AND HUGS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS! =========================================================== >-->SAD NEWS From Our friends at InspiredBuffalo: . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' Nancy ( Brabant ) Cantafio, 48, of Soo Township severed the last bonds holding her to this world on Sept 27, 2010 in Hospice Care at Hearthside Assisted Living Center in Sault.Ste. Marie, after fighting an amazing battle with cancer. Obituary and Guest Book are located at http://tinyurl.com/2chyjlp --- ...We will all miss Nancy Greatly. ==================================================================== ! ! ! ! ." ! ! ! / ." ! ! / ." ! / ." / ." o / ." / ." / ." / ." . '. / ." ' ' / ." / grh ." 0 | / |/ /| / | >-->Bowled Over by Kindness Story Editor: by Mia Shinbrot Joyce Schowalter British Columbia, Canada My old desk chair slanted forward and to the left from many, many years of use by the summer of 2004. I'd been badly in need of a new desk chair for some time and looking for one I could afford. I don't have much money, so that limits what I can buy. I tried second-hand stores but never found anything that was right for me. My physical limitations mean that the vast majority of chairs cause me problems of one sort or another. One week in August my friend Celu pointed out that a particular store was advertising in its sale flyer that they had a "leather" executive chair for $70 as part of their back-to-school sale. I went to the store on a Saturday to see it. I couldn't find those chairs, but a sympathetic clerk named Selena showed me that in fact there were six or seven of them left -- disassembled in boxes. I told her I needed to sit in a chair to work out whether it would work for me. She offered to have one of the men in the back assemble one for me if I could come back on Sunday. I said Sunday is fine, but I might still not buy the chair if it wasn't right. She said no problem; they needed a floor model anyway. (That left the point that if I *did* buy it, they'd still have no floor model.) I went back on Sunday. I decided that though not perfect, the chair would do. For $300 I would have been fussier; for $70 it was remarkable value. I took it through the register where the same clerk was working to pay for it and asked if the store had delivery. Selena wasn't aware of any, but a man who was passing said it could be arranged by asking a manager to arrange it with the receiving department. The clerk phoned the manager from the till. He asked her to ask me where I lived. As soon as I said "Esquimalt" she told him never mind and turned to me to say, "I live in Esquimalt and I have a truck. I'll deliver it for you when I get off work." That was going to be in about 15 minutes from that moment. I had other errands to do and was just about to think of a way I could be home when she delivered the chair, when she said, "Go on about your errands and just phone me whenever you get home." I left the store almost in tears from her kindness. I finished errands, got home, phoned her, and she delivered the chair. It's not perfect, but with a cushion I've made it work. Selena's kindness above and beyond the call of duty is something I'll never, ever forget. =======HeroicStories======= >-->From heartwarmers: |) /\ |\ | /` | |) \/ | \| \] . __________ |) /\ |\ | /` | /________ /| |) \/ | \| \] . | X|I | | | | | | |) /\ |\ | /` | |IX * III| | |) \/ | \| \] . | | | | |____VI___| | |) /\ |\ | /` | | / | | |) \/ | \| \] . | / | | | / | | |) /\ |\ | /` | |( ) | | |) \/ | \| \] . ejm |_________|/ |) /\ |\ | /` | |) \/ | \| \] . >THE TIME LADY by Diane Dean White Three of us became friends in fourth grade and have continued our friendship to the present. Back then, so much was changing in the world and in our personal lives as well. We were too young to date so we always did plenty of talking about when we would finally arrive at that special and romantic time. The telephone lines were bustling after homework was done. We didn't have three way calling, but we had our own conference line all figured out. At 8pm sharp we each called the "Time Lady." Now she wasn't real. It was just a recording which said, "At the tone the time will be..." We had our conference line talking over the Time Lady and if anyone else came on the line when we were talking, they never said anything. Or maybe they just listened in, thinking our conversation was more interesting! We discussed our classes and what we would be wearing the next day, and anything else that we felt needed discussing before first hour when we'd meet at our lockers. The Time Lady was easy to talk over and we continued with this neat idea until, one day, the operator called my mother. I was no longer able to make conference calls with my friends, and when I did call for the time, I discovered the lady had been turned up! Saturdays were ours to enjoy. After my room was cleaned, I joined my friends and we made tracks to the local drug store. Now this may seem boring in comparison to the malls of today, but this store had the greatest selection of Hollywood movie magazines imaginable. We wanted to keep up with our teen idols and what they were wearing and any new movies they were in. We had been with Sandra Dee since "Gidget" days, and felt we were right there on the beach with her and Moondoggie, surfing the waves with the whole gang. Never mind that we lived in Michigan, surrounded by the Great Lakes, with no ocean in sight. We were official members of the "Gidget", thus, Sandra Dee fan club. We oohed and awed at Sandra's tiny waist and beautiful blond hair (straight out of a bottle to be sure)! Naturally, we were all hurt to the core when she eloped with that Bobby Darrin -- so much older and there would be no wedding pictures in the teen movie magazines! After that we changed gears. Annette was a former mouseketeer and started making beach party movies. She had her own T-Bird and perfume collection to boot. Yes, Annette was a striking dark haired beauty, she would go far. We joined her fan club. The old Kresge store was our next stop. It always contained abundant supplies of the latest in new perfumes and make-up. "Evening in Paris" was all the rage, in a tiny little cobalt blue bottle. It was what every movie star wore. We'd dab a bit on our wrists and wave it through the air to catch the breath-taking fragrance. "Tangerine" was the most beautiful shade of lipstick. We each bought a tube, vowing to keep it in our lockers at school, just in case we needed to freshen up our "natural" look during the day. Depending on hair styles, there were rollers for each size, and if they didn't work, empty soup or orange juice cans with both ends out worked great! Just stick a clip in to hold it until it dried, and pray nobody saw you! We looked through fashion magazines and decided we loved the angora sweaters in the peach color. And wouldn't it be cool if you were "going steady" to wear the matching color yarn around his high school ring? We'd all screech and the laughter could go on for hours. Little did we know that those years, and the days ahead, would be some of the happiest times of our teen years. After all, how much trouble can you get into with perfume, Tangerine lipstick and Sandra Dee or Annette? But just don't try talking over the Time Lady, or you might find out what real trouble is! -- Diane Dean White ___________________________________________ Diane and her husband Stephen reside on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. She is a former newspaper reporter and writer for fundraising organizations and historical research projects. Her new book is a variety of short stories and can be reviewed at: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1403366888/heart/ref=nosim She also has an outreach for women called SEEDS of Encouragement at: http://www.heartwarmers4u.com/members/?thelamb212 ============================================================== >-->From Laugh And Lift: The things that count most in life, usually can't be counted. The Lift .)\()()/(. .((()(())())). ((()(``oo'')())) ((()) )(..)( (())) (())). `==' .((()) `()))'`----'`((()' >Fashion Trends (By Rhonda Rhea, rrhea@juno.com) I've always heard that if you keep everything in your closet long enough, all the fashion trends will eventually come back around. What I wasn't told was that I probably wouldn't fit it into any of them by then. I also didn't realize that I wouldn't be so interested in looking "hip" the second time around. Every once in awhile I have what I call a "bad closet" morning. I stand staring hypnotically into my closet waiting for a semi-trendy yet sophisticated outfit to jump out at me. I stare. Nothing jumps. What to wear? Thankfully, my Heavenly Father has already determined what the best-dressed soul is wearing. You can't find this outfit on the shopping channel, and while operators are not standing by to take your order, the Father is always there, ready and waiting with the perfect fit for each of his children. We're told what the well dressed child of God is sporting in Isaiah 61:10. "For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness." I never had to stand and stare for my garments of salvation and my robe of righteousness. As a matter of fact, they didn't even belong to me. My garments of salvation and my robe of righteousness came straight from God through the righteousness of his Son, Jesus Christ. It's Jesus' robe I wear. And I must say, I look mah-velous! Colossians 3:12-14 says, "Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Did you notice that over all (not to be confused with "overalls" - that's an entirely different look) we're instructed to put on love? Love is the ultimate accessory - our single most important piece of outerwear. It pulls the entire outfit together (binds the other virtues together in "perfect unity"). Now there's a great look - with or without bell bottoms. (Rhonda Rhea writes for dozens of great Christian publications and speaks at conferences and events across the country. You can find her new book, Amusing Grace, at your local Christian bookstore. Rhonda's husband, Richie Rhea, is a pastor in Troy, Missouri. You can reach them through her Web site at www.rhondarhea.net) -<>- . -- . ( ) ( (/oo\) ) ( \`'/ ) wwwwww WW ( \/ ) w"ww ww"w /__\ ... ( ) W o""o W | oo | _WWWWW_ ."o o". ( ) W ______ W (o)(o) (|_()_|) / o o \ oo " O "( ) "w \_\/_/ w" w" "w \__/ (| __O__ |) w"()"w "-===-" ( ) ww""wwwwww""ww W -====- W /|\/|\ \ \___/ / W -==- W "..." ` -- ' |||||||||||| "w w" |||||||| /-------\ "wwww" ." ". = = |||||||||||| w""""""""""""w |||||||||=========| w" "w" " = = ||||||||||||W W|||||||||=========| B.D.S."Don"McConnell >I'm Special! (Author Unknown) I'm special! In all the world there is nobody like me. Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like me. Nobody has my smile. Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my hands, my voice. I'm special! No one can be found who has my handwriting. Nobody anywhere has my exact tastes for food or music or art. No one sees things just as I do. In all of time there has been no one who laughs like me, no one who cries like me. And whatever makes me laugh or cry, will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever. No one reacts to any situation just as I would react. I'm special! I'm the only one in all of creation who has my set of abilities. Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at one of the things I'm good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of my combination of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings. Like a roomful of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound when all are played together. I'm a symphony. Through all of eternity no one will ever look, talk, walk, think or do like me. I'm special! I'm rare. And, in all rarity, there is great value. Because of my great rare, value, I need not attempt to imitate others. I will accept - yes, celebrate my differences. I'm special! And I'm beginning to realize it's no accident that I'm special. I'm beginning to see that God made me special for a very special purpose. He must have a job for me that no one else can do as well as I. Out of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes. That one is me! Because I'm Special! --- ...See this teaching... You Are The Only You God Has! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html -<>- "Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence." - Helen Adams Keller (1880-1968) uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu u" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "u u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u u" u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u "u $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ $ $$$" ... "$... ...$" ... "$$$ ... "$$$ $ $ $$$u `"$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $ $ $$$$$$uu "$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$ """ u$$$ $ $ $$$""$$$ $$$$ $$$u "$$$" u$$ $$$$$$$$ $ $ $$$$....,$$$$$..$$$$$....,$$$$..$$$$$$$$ $ $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" "u "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" u" "u """""""""""""""""" u" """""""""""""""""""" unknown >What Do You Fear to Hear? (By Mark Phillips) [Edited] Of all the things our modern, electrically-powered society has destroyed, none is so easily overlooked as "silence." A century ago, a world without radios, televisions, CD players, pagers, and cell phones provided numerous opportunities to be alone with one's thoughts. Today, we seem to fear silence, afraid of what we might hear if we were forced to stop and listen. Five weeks ago I began an experiment: I turned off the radio in my truck for the entire month. No music, no news, no talk. Just silence. And in that month of silence I came to love those twenty or thirty minutes a day without noise. At first it was hard. In fact for the first few days I felt so unnerved by the silence that I found myself talking out loud, even though I was the only one there. But even those one-sided discussions usually focused on something I was worried about or some idea I was trying to develop, so while I may have looked strange talking to myself, the time was productive. As the days passed, I came to enjoy the silence, since it provided my one chance all day to simply sit and think. I have never had much success praying while driving, but during these days of stillness I definitely received insights I would not have found otherwise. I think maybe I heard what Richard Foster describes as "the divine Whisper" once or twice. Despite His hectic schedule, Jesus often sought out solitude and silence. His forty days in the wilderness ... just before choosing the twelve ... after the feeding of the 5000 ... following the healing of the leper ... before he faced the cross; in each case, Jesus intentionally withdrew to spend time alone in prayer, solitude, and silence. Your car may be the one sanctuary on earth where you can regularly experience silence. But even there, you must choose silence over noise. It might be worth a month for you to give it a try - I got so much out of it that I'm going to continue it. There's a lot to hear in silence. Are you willing to listen? --- ...Bible References for this... Pss.4: [4] Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Pss.46: [10a] Be still, and know that I am God: -<>- .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' >Spare Parts (By Ron Hutchcraft) Okay, let's use our imagination. I'm going to buy a new car, and I'm going to pay for it with cash in full. That's lots of imagination we're talking here. I pay Mr. Dealer $20,000 for the new car, and he tells me it will be there in two weeks. Those two weeks crawl by like a turtle, but finally the day comes when I can show up for my hot new wheels. I shake hands with the dealer, and he says, "Hey, I'll be right back!" A few minutes later he comes out, carrying a big box. He sees my bewildered expression. He says, "Here it is. Go ahead. Open the box." I do, and inside I find inside two new hubcaps, a new carburetor, and a new steering wheel. This dealer and I have a problem! I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Spare Parts." I'm going to tell that dealer in no uncertain terms, "I paid the whole price! I should get the whole product, not just your spare parts!" Jesus knows that feeling. A lot of us have tried to fulfill our commitment to Him by giving Him the spare parts of our life that we don't really care that much about. But He paid the whole price for us when He poured out His life for us. He should get what He paid for. And Jesus isn't any more impressed with getting spare parts than we are. You can tell from our word for today from the Word of God in Malachi 1 , beginning with verse 6. God's people in that day worshiped Him by bringing spotless livestock as atonement for their sin. And God says, "'It is you, O priests, who show contempt for My name.' But you ask, 'How have we shown contempt for Your name?'...'When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong?'" God goes on to tell them that they might as well shut the temple doors and that all their religious exercises are (in God's words) "useless." It's very clear that God isn't impressed with sacrifices that cost us nothing with the spare parts of our life that don't matter that much to us anyway. But far too many of us try to get by with what I call selective Lordship. We may sing, "I surrender all," but we live, "I surrender some." And while the Christians around us may be impressed with our spirituality, God says, "You're giving me your spare parts and you're holding on to the important things for yourself." And honestly, that is an insult to Jesus - the one who held back nothing as He paid your eternal death penalty. He paid for all of you. Are you hanging onto your business, your finances, your love life, your entertainment, that wrong relationship, or that sinful attitude or way of doing things? What parts of your life can't Jesus have and why? Because you love it more than you love Jesus? Because you don't think you can trust Him with the stuff that really matters; you can't trust the Man who gave His life for you? When David had a chance to get for free the land that God commanded him to acquire, he said to the owner, "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing" (2 Samuel 24:24 ). David knew you don't try to get off cheap with God, because cheap is basically worthless when it comes to giving to the Lord our God. So what's it going to be in your relationship with Jesus Christ, your spare parts, or your whole life? Jesus paid the whole, awful price for you. Shouldn't He get all of you? [Permission to distribute this material via email, or individual copies, is automatically granted on the condition it will be used for non-commercial purposes, and will not be sold. To reproduce "A Word With You" transcripts in any other format, including Internet websites, written permission is needed.] -<>- The Laugh &&& && && &&&&. &&& .&&&&& && &&& &&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&& & &` && && .&&&&& &&&; &8 .&&&: && &` & && 8&& & `& && && .&_ oO_&.-.-. && ( __ -/--' &&~ .'-__-'& &&&~`'\`& &&&~` _& &&&&` && &&8&&&& &&&&&&& & &&&&&&& &&;&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& ~~~ .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ >Tech Support Jokes Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up the start menu. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program list." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" -------- Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this CD?" -------- I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?" -------- Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work." Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship. Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ============================================================ >-->From SermondFodder: `'. .`' ` * . : * *| : ' | || ' `|~'||' v~v~v~v !@!@!@! _!_!_!_!_ | || || | || ||| }{{{{}}}{{{ ejm97 __||__ >100th Birthday Back before I became a recovering journalist I worked in newspaper, radio, and television news for about the first 18 years of my working life. Yes, I started early writing school related newspaper stories as an 8th grader. During my television years in about 1987, I was assigned to interview a lady who was celebrating her 100th birthday. Her family had made a big deal out of it and several other media foiks had gathered around her with the loving and appreciative family. You could tell the guest of honor didn't want any part of all the fuss. Several of the gathered reporters and family members tried to draw her out with probing questions. About the only answer they got was, "yep" and "nope." Finally, I got my turn to take a run at her. I tried the standard stereotyped question you always pose to someone turning 100. I asked, "Mam, to what do you owe your longevity?" She perked up, and with a big smile on her face said proudly, "To the fact that I haven't died yet." Her sense of humor showed through sending laughter through the gathering. It was the only time she said more than two words together during the whole event. I hope I have that much of a sense of humor when I turn 100. Copyright 1987-2008 Keith Todd and the Sermon Fodder list.To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends or post it on the net. ============================== Worth Repeating..... [When] Jesus Himself fasted, He was not fasting to repent or to bring His desires under control, of course, but to demonstrate His absolute dependence upon His Father. -- Peter C. Moore =============================== ~ ~~ __ _T .,,. ~--~ ^^ ^^ // \ ~ ][O] ^^ ,-~ ~ /''-I_I _II____ __/_ / \ ______/ '' /'\_,__ | II--'''' \,--:--..,_/,.-{ }, ; '/__\,.--';| |[] .-.| O{ _ } :' | | [] -| ''--:.;[,.'\,/ ' |[]|,.--'' '', ''-,. | .. ..-'' ; ''. ' >The World's Largest Weathervane By Rob Chaffart When I heard that Whitehorse, Yukon is home to the world's largest weathervane, I knew I would have to be sure to visit it. But when we drove by the airport where it was located, I couldn't immediately spot it! I was very disappointed. How could I have missed something that was supposedly soooo big? Only after I was informed of its exact location did I realize why I missed it the first time. I had been looking for a weathervane. I never expected that the weathervane was a DC3, a Douglas plane serial No. 4665! With a length of 64 feet 5.5 inches and a wingspan of 95 feet, this plane swivels around at the top of a pedestal, always faithfully pointing into the wind. No wonder it is the largest weathervane in the world! Would you like to have this kind of a weathervane atop your roof? This particular DC3 hasn't always been a weathervane, however. It was build in August 1942, during World War II, and its first mission, under the disguise of camouflage, was to transport goods into India and China. After the war it was acquired by the Canadian authorities and issued registration "CF-CPY". It flew many routes throughout Canada, especially in the Yukon. With a total flying time of 31,581 hours, it can certainly be said that it served its country well! The CF-CPY's usefulness appeared to end however, one fateful day in November 1970, when it crashed. It wasn't until seven years later that the Yukon Flying Club undertook the task of restoring the plane, and after 4 years of work, it is now mounted on its pedestal to forever show the citizens of Whitehorse what direction the wind is blowing. It would seem that despite the crash, the usefulness of this particular DC3 carries on! Reflecting on this, I realize that once someone retires from active duty, the "golden years" sometimes turn out to be stale and lifeless. But they don't have to be! One's usefulness is only over when we let it be over! I know of a lady who had dreamed her entire life of becoming a missionary to China. She was never able to fulfill her dream until after she had retired! She then went through the training, applied to the missions board, and began serving in China. Just before this lady left the western world, she was diagnosed with cancer. This didn't stop her, however. To her it didn't matter where you died, as long as you were in the will of the Lord when you did! I heard of another elderly gentleman who was dying in his hospital bed. Most would think that his usefulness was completely used up, but one night he took the time to talk about Jesus with a fellow patient. He was able to lead this roommate to the Lord, and his dying words were, "Another one out of the grasp of Satan!" On the other hand, I know of young people who could care less if they were useful in life or not. If they could have their own way, they would lie on the coach and watch T.V. 24/7! So as you can see, one's usefulness is not restricted by age. Rather it is lack of determination and willingness that restricts usefulness! But God tells us: "They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, 'The LORD is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.'" (Ps 92:14-15 NIV) What are you plans when you retire? Doesn't that pedestal look attractive? Rob Chaffart The Illustrator http://www.answers2prayer.org ============================================================== >-->From Achives InspiredBuffalo: ,--. _/ <`-' ,-.' \--\_ ((`-.__\ ) \`' @ (_ ( (_) ,'`-._(`-._/ ,-' )&&) )) ,-' /&&&%-' ,' __ ,- {&&&&/ / ,' \| |\&&'\ ( | |' \ `--. (%--'\ ,--.\ `-.`-._))) `---'`-/__)))`-._))) hjw >A Sweet Flower On The Ground I rescued a puppy yesterday She was so small and helpless Only four weeks old and cast away. She had been placed in a dreadful, cardboard box No food or water to be found, Sad and alone, Left to cry on the cold, cold, ground. I took her from this dreadful box And held her in my arms, Soon captivated by all her many charms. What A sweet little Jazmine Flower. I put her in a nice warm bath, fed and watered her while feeling such wrath…. How could anyone stoop so low, to abandon This tiny little life and cause her to suffer so? I took her to a rescue, her future to be told Instead her life was ended at one month old. Despite my hopes for Jazmine's tomorrow, all my Heart feels now is sorrow. Those whom I trusted to give her life a healthy start, Instead gave Jazmine an injection to stop her little heart. It hurts me so to have been a part, of the stopping of this little One's heart, how can I trust again? Barbara J. Ervin-Weymouth ©Copyright, April 21, 2004 All Rights Reserved -<>- __ ( ( ) ) _ / / ___ /:;-/_ ( ( \ ___ __/::::;;;-. ) ) \ / _ \/ _\`".:::::/\/ / ) ) (_( \/ / \__ `";/ /\/ ( ( (_(_) /`_>-~-\/ /\ \_\ \/)'O_O`\/ / /-.(_),-\/ ( .:_|_:. ) /`--'U,-.'\_ ,'\,-. (_,,),:| ___ ,'__(,,_)___,:::| / _ \ |||||||||||||:::| / / \ \|||||||||||||:::| __ ( ( \ |||||||||||||:::| ( (\ )_) \|||||||||||||::;'__) )\ hjw |||||||||||||;'_____/\/ """"( ("""""" ) ) (_( >AND THEN SOME How wonderful it would be if there were a simple formula for success! "Follow these steps and you will be successful in business, as a parent, as a student, in your vocation or in any endeavor you attempt." I think of the man who was honored as "Businessperson of the Year." At the presentation dinner, a newspaper reporter asked him, "To what do you owe your great success and prosperity?" "Five things contributed to my success," said the man. "First, I always treated people fairly. Sec­ond, I always offered a fair price. Third, I was al­ways honest. Fourth, I was always generous to my employees. And fifth, my Aunt Edna died a few years back and left me two and a half million dol­lars." Certainly, the top four items on his list are well worth following, though they are no guarantee of success. For a variety of reasons, some of which are outside our control (like Aunt Edna), our lives are filled with successes and failures, all of which contribute to our growth. But some of the sagest advice I've heard on the subject of success comes from Professor Richard Weaver, who taught at Bowling Green State University, Ohio. He says that what often sets a successful person apart from oth­ers are three simple words: "and then some." Those people who tend to achieve what they want from life do what is expected of them -- and then some. They are thoughtful to others; they are considerate and kind -- and then some. They meet their obligations and responsibilities fairly -- and then some. They are good friends to their friends -- and then some. They can be counted on in an emer­gency -- and then some. By going beyond the expectations of others, they demonstrate every day their desire to do their best and to be their best. They, too, fail and blunder, but in the end, they can be counted on to pick up the pieces and move forward. Those are three words worth remembering. Count on them to help build a quality life -- and then some. - Steve Goodier -<>- _--_ dMb __(._ ) d0P < (D) .MP .~ \ /~```M-. .~ V Mo_ \ -------============((((}{) ( (___. {:)-./ ~._____.(:} '94 the wolfe / .M\ / "" \ | /\ | / / \ \ / / \ \ \__/ \__/ / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ >Who Calls The Game? Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? - Job 40:2 During an afternoon baseball game when American League umpire Bill Guthrie was working behind home plate, the catcher for the visiting team repeatedly protested his calls. According to a story in the St. Louis Dispatch, Guthrie endured this for three innings. But in the fourth inning, when the catcher started to complain, Guthrie stopped him. "Son," he said gently, "you've been a big help to me calling balls and strikes, and I appreciate it. But I think I've got the hang of it now. So I'm going to ask you to go to the clubhouse and show them how to take a shower." Job also had been complaining about call he didn't think were fair. In his case, the umpire was God. After listening to Job's objections, the Lord finally spoke out of a violent storm. Suddenly things came into perspective for Job. God was gentle, but He was also firm and direct. The Lord asked him the kind of questions that bring a finite man back down to size. Job listened, gave up his complaining, and found peace in surrendering to God. Father, we don't make sense when we complain about Your fairness. Help us to be like Your Son Jesus, who trusted You without complaining, even to the point of dying on the cross. - Mart De Haan When troubles come and we complain Because we do not understand, The problem is our narrow view That fails to see God's loving hand. - K, DeHaan -<>- ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >THE CAB RIDE Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters.In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. "Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated." "Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?" "It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly. "Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice." I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now." We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. "How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse. "Nothing," I said. "You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. "You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you." I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware---beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL. You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send it to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from GOD! -<>- >Links for Your Enjoyment Nextel Dance Party http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjpopo.htm No Fear http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjoppo.htm Bad Luck http://www.buffaloschips.com/fasd.htm Boogie Woogie http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdjlk.htm Ford Police Chase http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfds.htm Man Cheats Death http://www.buffaloschips.com/asgs.htm Missile http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkhjg.htm Peanut Butter Jelly Time http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsdv.htm OK http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsijj.htm Oops http://www.buffaloschips.com/yuiu.htm The Hippo And Tortoise http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hippo.html The Hippo And Tortoise 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hippo2.html Amazing Dog Houses http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses.html Amazing Dog Houses 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses.html Dog Day Afternoon http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogday.html Road Train Trucks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html Prosperity And Health http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/prosperityhealth.html Haunting http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/haunting.html Bible: On Death - Topics: http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&new_topic=15 Visit our site at http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com If you are looking to join any of our other fine e-zines visit www.buffalosjokes.com ================================================================ >-->From AndyChaps: >God said... VS I said... --author unknown-- God said: Doesn't it bother you? ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / I Said: What? _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ The language. What language? It's all around you. You haven't even noticed? I'm not getting it. Noticed what? My NAME is being taken in vain. Oh, that. Well God, to be honest with You... I guess I've kind of gotten used to it. Used to it? Well, yeah, in schools, offices, tv, movies. everyone uses Your Name in conversations nowadays... even four-letter words are used freely now. What's wrong with that? And that doesn't bother you? Nah. Like I said, I'm used to it. That's the problem. Whaddya mean? I don't want you to get used to it. But I hear that stuff all the time. TV's full of it. Every sitcom I watch tosses Your name around. = Come on, now.. Is it really that big of a deal? First of all, why do you waste your time watching this trash? It is corrupting your mind and deadening your spirit. but Lord,... Apparently you don't realize the severity of this. well, i dont know... Every single time someone says, "Oh, my God!" they're breaking one of My 10 commandments: = "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord Thy God in vain." Yeah, but... Think of it this way...it is like a polluted prayer. Like if someome says "God D something or someone" Taken literally, they are praying to me to curse someone or something! Since I can hear everything that everyone says, = It is like they are praying to Me to ask me to do something for them, but that something is forbidden and evil... and worse yet, I don't even know them, and they don't really want to know Me... and it is going on all the time!! It is really annoying to Me. Especially when a Christian does it. It destroys their testimony to Me before men. And it is happening SO MUCH...it is DEAFENING... and all completely USELESS and FILTHY... It is like hazardous waste floating in the pure river of real prayers. It is an UNHOLY MESS...I DON'T LIKE IT! Lord, I had no idea... Doing something I've specifically forbidden IS a big deal. Well... That is why I call it SIN. But not real sin. Right? Just like... a little sin? Excuse Me? I always thought sin was like...you know... murdering someone or stealing something, or rape... Sin is anything that goes against what I've commanded... anything that falls short of My Holiness and Glory. But Father, practically everyone says stuff like, "Oh, God." Everyone is not going to heaven... Well, I don't say it. Well, okay, maybe once...or twice... But you've gotten comfortable with hearing it! That's just as bad. In effect, you are approving it. And participating in it. Well, I... My child, I don't want you to get comfortable living in this world, = and with hearing what goes on around you. = You see, this world really isn't your home. Think of it as sort of like a life-long camping trip. It is temporary. Your real home is in Heaven... with Me and My Son, in the Mansions of Glory. And the splendor of it is beyond anything the human mind can imagine. I know, God. And I'm looking forward to that. But you'll never get to be like Jesus if you constantly misuse My name, as so many of your friends do. And you will never let them see His life in you, if your words are not pure, like Mine are. If you love Me, you will turn from your sin. And using My name in such an unholy manner is certainly sin. Wow. I didn't realize... You can't help living in this world I've placed you in. But you can choose not to be a part of it. How do I do that? By refusing to get comfortable. Really? I know there are things you can't help but hear, but that doesn't mean you should become accustomed to hearing them. I want you to get embarrassed and irritated when you hear My name used in the wrong way. I want you to feel uncomfortable when people around you tell dirty jokes and brag about their sexual pleasures. I want you to turn around and walk away when you hear or see sin. That's hard, Lord. They might make fun of me or stop liking me. I know. I am not strong enough to do this on my own. My Holy Spirit in you is there to call your attention to sin. and to give you the strength to overcome it. Listen to Its still, small voice, and obey what It tells you do. Learn from My Word. And let My will overrule yours. It will be hard. I will always be there with you. People will probably think there's something wrong with me, if i refuse to listen to their filthy talk and jokes. They will eventually grow to respect you, if you are consistent and genuine. Wouldn't it be better if I just tried to fit in and not offend them? You're not supposed to fit in. Your life is supposed to be like salt rubbed in an open wound... It stings, it purifies...it gets their attention. Look at Jesus for your example.. He spoke clearly against sin, in all its forms, whenever He saw it. His life was an example and a standard of comaprison. so that people would know that they need a savior. And read Hebrews chapter 11... It's FULL of God's people who took a stand against sin. But, God... And guess what? What? When YOU do... You'll start to become very uncomfortable with the world around you, and you can't wait to be with Me in Glory. Then you will be able to say with the Apostle Paul: , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 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