911 Remembrance... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ W __ __ [ ] |::||::| E ._. |::||::| ._. |\ |:| ._. |::||::| |/| \ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::||::|_ |/| |-( )- |:|"|/|_|::||::|\|_|/| _ | V L |:|"|/|||::||::|\|||/||:| \ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ *~* Today, we pay tribute to and remember the nearly 3,000 lives lost in the terror attacks on September 11, 2001. We mourn them, we honor them, and we pledge to never forget them. http://tinyurl.com/y7khcyou Today, President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump led a moment of silence at the White House in remembrance of those lost on September 11, 2001. Watch the moment of silence. http://tinyurl.com/ybs46koz The President and the First Lady then participated in a 9/11 observance at the Pentagon. Watch the remembrance ceremony. http://tinyurl.com/y9j583ap We Will Never Forget: USA And 9/11 Troop Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html -<>- _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ *~* Our Thoughts and Prayers Go Out To All Those Affected by and in the path of Hurricane Irma. May God Bless, Protect And Help Them In The Name Of Christ Jesus Our Living Lord And Savior. Hurricane Irma Update President Trump, Vice President Pence, and members of the Cabinet received a briefing yesterday from Acting Homeland Security Secretary Elaine Duke, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) Administrator Brock Long, and Homeland Security Advisor Tom Bossert on the ongoing Federal response and recovery operations for Hurricane Irma. They also discussed Federal support for Hurricane Harvey recovery, which is still in the early stages. President Trump stressed that his top priorities are life-saving and life-sustaining efforts in affected areas. The President is in regular contact with Governors currently in the path of Hurricane Irma, as well as Governors of the States and territories already impacted by the storm. He continues to extend his thoughts and prayers to those affected, while recognizing the many volunteer and faith-based organizations dedicating their time and efforts to help their fellow Americans. http://tinyurl.com/yanugo8w President Trump and Vice President Pence met with senior members of the Administration 9/7 to discuss initial Federal support for Hurricane Irma preparation, response and recovery, as well as ongoing support for recovery from Hurricane Harvey. http://tinyurl.com/y7nr7n4k -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our newest too hot to handle page is from our friends Linda. and LouiseAu. It shows some amazing stormy skies and just how intense mother nature can be at times all around the world. Be sure to check this one out here... . '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) ` . ' . @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@ @@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` . @.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@ . (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@) (@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) ` .@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ . .' @@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@. ` @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@ ' ` @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@ \\ ####&&&!!;;::=_- ` ###&&!!;;:-_= ##&&!;::_= ##&&!;:= ##&&!:- #&!;:- #&!;= #&!- #&= jgs #&- \\#/' ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ God's Sky Paintings 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gsky2.html --- ...Wowsers! Incredible photos! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ()__________________________() ||.------------------------.|| ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| O/||: :||\O | ||:........................:|| | |/.' '.\| ('..............................') \'............................'/ ||__________________________|| ||() ()|| || ||lc () () Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set. The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?" To which the professor of psychology replied, "Yes, and I think it's these pesky wicker chairs." -<>- Bob, Joe and Paddy were moving furniture. While Bob and Joe were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe, Bob noticed that Paddy was nowhere in sight. "Joe, where's Paddy?" asked Bob. "He should be helping us with this thing." "He is helping," said Joe. "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ September 11 is 911 Remembrance, Make Your Bed Day and No News is Good News Day September 12 is Chocolate Milk Shake Day and National Video Games Day September 13 is Defy Superstition Day, Fortune Cookie Day, National Peanut Day, Positive Thinking Day and Uncle Sam Day - his image was first used in 1813 September 14 is National Cream-Filled Donut Day September 15 is Make a Hat Day, Felt Hat Day and POW/MIA Recognition Day - Third Friday of September September 16 is American Legion Day, Collect Rocks Day, Step Family Day, Mayflower Day, Mexican Independence Day, National Play Doh Day and Working Parents Day September 17 is Citizenship Day, Constitution Day, National Apple Dumpling Day, National Women's Friendship Day and Wife Appreciation Day - third Sunday in September ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' >Car Trouble A friend of mine recently went on a trip and had to stop at a rest area on the Interstate. She took her keys, left her purse and cell phone in her car, and went to the restroom. When she returned, her remote wouldn't unlock the door and she panicked. "What am I going to do? My cell phone is still in the car and I can't call Onstar!" Another traveler nearby overhearing this asked, "Have you tried the key?" -<>- >Politics Explained How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative? Easy. Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore. The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!" The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off to do another good deed. -<>- >Here Daddy A four-year-old little boy played on the floor while his father sat on the couch. Picking up a hair on the floor, the boy pointed to his dad's bald head and said, "Here, Daddy, put this back on your head." -<>- >At the Gym I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I'd be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym's only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head. -<>- >Punctuality During my freshman year at university, I worked nights as a waiter. The following year, wanting my evenings free, I applied for a dormitory maintenance job and was asked, "How are you on punctuality?" "Oh, I'm good at that," I blurted out without thinking. "I'm an English major." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) _.----. .----------------" / / \ ( EVEREADY | | |) | `----------------._\ \ / "----' Lester / itz / Nate >SMILES A lawyer was cross-examining a witness in local court. "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 PM. How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness responded. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's stupid!" screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial it was 11:32 at night?" The witness replied, "I had a flashlight!" ---------- The doctor was making his rounds and walked into the semi-private room in the hospital to examine old Mrs. Williams. After the exam in his best professional voice, he said smoothly, "You are coughing much more easily this morning." "I should," snapped the patient. "I've been practicing all night." ---------- A woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service. "There is no hurry," she told the clerk, "just so the package is delivered in my lifetime." The postmaster glanced at her and said, "That will be $2.40, please." ---------- I called an old MIT classmate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment." I was impressed.... Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was 'washing dishes with hot water, under his wife's supervision.' ---------- Pretty soon, the little ones start asking questions. Embarrassing ones at that. I remember when my kids asked me, "Where do babies come from." I tried not to lie to them. I told them the straight facts: "Carelessness... Pure carelessness." ---------- A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says, "She knows now." ---------- _H_ /___\ \888/ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~U~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~ | ~ o | ~ ___ o | _,.--,.'` `~'-.._ O | /_ .-" _ /_\'. | ~ .-';' (( ` \0/ `\ # /__; ((_ ,_ | , # .-; \_ / # _#, / ; .-' / _.--""-.\`~` `#(('\\ ~ ;-'; / / .' )) \\ ; /.--'.' (( )) \ | ~ \\ (( \ | )) ` ~ \ | ` \ | jgs .` `""-. .' \ ~ ~ | |\ | \ / '-._| \.' Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him, "Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?" The other fisherman replies, "If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, you will find a ton of hungry fish." They thanked him, and go on their way. Fifteen minutes later, one fisherman says to the other, "Fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty." He dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. Still salty." Thirty minutes later, he asks him to check again. "Nope, still salty." One hour later they check again. "Nope. Still salty." "This isn't good," one fisherman finally says. "We have been walking for almost two hours and the water is still salty!" "I know," says the other. "And the bucket is almost empty!" ---------- A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results. "Well, Mr. Jones, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that you have only 24 hours to live." "That is good news?" wails Jones, "What is the bad news?" The doctor gives a sheepish grin and answers, "I have been trying to reach you since yesterday!" ---------- A young soldier was up before his commanding officer for a reprimand. After going through a list of his misdemeanors the CO reminds him, "And another thing. I didn't see you in camouflage practice this morning." "Thank you, Sir," the soldier replied. ---------- When the pastor of a conservative small-town congregation received the gift of a white suit from a friend, he was a bit reluctant to wear it. But since it was so attractive and a perfect fit, he decided to put it on one warm Sunday. As he was leaving for church, he asked his wife what she thought of his attire. After giving him the once-over, she replied, "It depends. Are you going to preach or sell chicken?" ---------- I'm trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people following me: Two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist. --------- ___ / _\ | /\_| __-'' _' ----'-. |#\#)_,_ )##\__ _\__.-. - .- (###) '---. `. - __\____`.#\( ) L(| .'__//\ \#)`-._.' / \\==. /_/_//\_\_ /#/ ### / //\\ \ |(________(##)___/-' '| (_) | ____\___/_________________\___/_________________________VK People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor. Last January on a bitterly cold winter's day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold weather. “What’s the matter? asked the Trooper "Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply. "Pee on it. That'll thaw it out." "I can't," said the biker. "OK, watch me closely and I'll show you." The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised. Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving. A few days later, the local State Troopers’ office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist. It began: "On behalf of my daughter Jill..." --------- >LIFE IS TOUGH. IT'S TOUGHER IF YOU'RE STUPID. ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. " We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. TWO The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ,......, | Clyde W. Watson | FF@ | | ,'======', | /----------\ | :;:(_/\_):;: | `:;\/""\/;:' | \\\/// | .--,____,''.____.--, | : | __ \ / __ | ; | | ||__| || |__|| | ,LL | :_____||_____: |/._; \ ;_____||_____; ./||Q \.. ||||[]|||| \./ [| || |] [: __ :] | || | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ,_(\_(\\\___ | || | ___///)__/)_. (\/,:;:;:;:(( o`\ \___/\___/ /'o )):;:;:;:;.\/) (/\.______,,\\__( .| | | |. (___//.._______./\) (/ (/ (__)) ((__) \) \) Hey Vern, Let's tie his shoe laces together! These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?" The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?" -<>- ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" >Remember? Remember when Donald Trump was business partners with the Russian government and his company got 53 million from the Russian government investment fund called Rusnano that was started by Vladimir Putin and is referred to as "Putin's Child"? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was DNC John Podesta. Remember when Donald Trump received 500 thousand for a speech in Moscow and paid for by Renaissance Capital, a company tied to Russian Intelligence Agencies? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was Bill Clinton. Remember when Donald Trump approved the sale of 20% of US uranium to the Russians while he was Secretary of State which gave control of it to Rosatom the Russian State Atomic Energy Corporation? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was Hillary Clinton. Remember when Donald Trump lied about that and said he wasn't a part of approving the deal that gave the Russians 1/5 of our uranium, but then his emails were leaked showing he did lie about it? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was Hillary Clinton and John Podesta. Remember when Donald Trump got 145 million dollars from shareholders of the uranium company sold to the Russians? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation. Remember when Donald Trump accepted millions in donations from Russian Oligarchs like the chairman of a company that's part of the Russian Nuclear Research Cluster, the wife of the mayor of Moscow, and a close pal of Putins? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was the Clinton Foundation. Remember when Donald Trump failed to disclose all those donations before becoming the Secretary of State, and it was only found out when a journalist went through Canadian tax records? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was Hillary Clinton. Remember when Donald Trump told Mitt Romney that the 80s called and it wanted its Russian policy back. The Cold War is over? Oh wait that wasn't Trump, that was President Obama. Man... Trump's ties to Russia are disgusting." --- ...LOL! About time they focus on the real culprits! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Latest From eHeadline News: http://eheadlines.com/ Latest From American Action News: https://americanactionnews.com/index Berkeley to allow speech by conservative (trauma counselors WILL be available!) http://tinyurl.com/y9gfmntt -<>- >From BizarreNews: A good Samaritan was shocked to get attacked by a shoplifter after he offered to pay for the stolen items, according to police in California. Responding deputies have learned the suspect was stealing items from the 7-Eleven location when the victim offered to pay for the items. The suspect became upset, refused the victim's offer and a struggle ensued. As the victim left the location, the suspect pulled out an ax and began to hit the victim in the head several times. After the assault, the suspect fled the location and out of view of surveillance cameras. The victim was transported to a hospital and treated for his injuries. "This suspect should be considered armed and dangerous. If you believe you have seen the suspect, Do not make contact. Please call 9-1-1 or West Hollywood Station," police wrote. -<>- A group of Ohio high school students are going viral after allowing themselves to be blasted in the face with pepper spray by their teacher. The video shows the Criminal Science students at Barberton High School lined up against a wall outside the school. The students' instructor walks down the line, doing some- thing we've all wanted to do at one point or another, shooting the teenagers in the face with pepper spray while saying, "Stop resisting, please comply." Some students initially take the pepper spray blast better than others, but in a matter of seconds virtually all of the students are jumping around and screaming in pain. "My son is in a 2 year Criminal Science program at School. They had the choice to be half-sprayed or fully-sprayed, he chose full. This was the result," the filmer wrote. A waiver form for the students and their parents shows the extra-credit project was voluntary. "Each student will have the option to be swabbed or receive a quick 'burst' to the facial area with this chemical agent," the waiver form states. It says the spray causes "irritation and a burning sensation to eyes and nasal area" for about an hour. "This is a controlled and safe experience for the students and is completely voluntary," the waiver says. *----- Woman Sued for Texting During Date -----* A man decided to file a lawsuit against his rude date for excessive use of her cell phone while watching a movie, according to court documents in Texas. According to the lawsuit filed with the Travis County small claims court, the 35-year-old woman who was identified as Crystal, accompanied 37-year-old Brandon Vezmar of Austin, to a movie as part of their first date. After the movie began, Crystal activated her phone about 20 times in 15 minutes to read and send text messages, which is in direct violation of the theater's policy. This activity adversely affected the viewing experience of Vezmar and others. Upon being asked to stop texting, Crystal left the theater and did not return. Vezmar later asked Crystal to give him back the money he spent on the date, but she refused. Vezmar is seeking $17.31 in compensation for Crystal's movie ticket and slice of pizza. Vezmar told the court that Crystal's behavior is a threat to civilized society. I'd agree with that. *----- It's Official: Danish Beer is Piss -----* People were surprised to learn that a beer they were tasting was made using human urine. Norrebro Bryghus, which is based in Copenhagen, Denmark, said that they decided to use human urine as the company switched to organic. The CEO of Norrebro Bryghus, Henrik Vang, said that the company collected 13,000 gallons of human urine waste form the toilets of the largest music festival in Europe. The company then used the waste in the malting process. The human urine that the company had collected was enough to produce 60,000 bottles of beer. The company named the beer 'Pisner.' Other organic beer brewers use animal manure in the malting process while traditional companies use factory-made fertilizer. Vang said that Pisner fits in perfectly with the new trend of producing recyclable beer. At first, people cringed at the idea of drinking a beer that was made using human urine, but eventually, they came around. One man who tasted the beer, said that the drink tasted fresh and full at the same time. *- Your Wife Is Cheating? Get indicted for Burglary -* 37-year-old Sean Donis of New Jersey, said that his wife Nancy, asked him to care for their son, now 5, while she went out for dinner with friends in Elizabeth. While watching his son, Donis was looking for his son's iPad. He activated the Find My iPhone app on the iPad, and he realized that it had traveled across Rockland County, New York. Donis decided to travel to the location as he had suspected Nancy of cheating and he wanted to catch her red- handed. Donis drove to the home of his wife's boss and found her vehicle parked in his driveway. The heartbroken husband walked into the home through an unlocked door and went to the upstairs bedroom. There he found his wife naked in bed with her boss. Nancy jumped out of the bed while her boss ordered Donis out of his home. He left armed with his 35 second video proof of her cheating. Nancy subsequently filed for divorce and the couple's 6-year marriage ended in February. Recently, Donis was notified that he was indicted by a grand jury on charges of unlawful surveillance and felony burglary over the cheating incident. *- Diplomatic Immunity (Has Just Been Revoked) -* Police announced that they will not charge a girl in connection with the stabbing of a boy because she has diplomatic immunity. Police were called to the British International School of Washingtonon a report of a stabbing. Police officers who arrived at the scene, found a 13-year-old boy suffering from stab wounds to the shoulders. The 12-year-old girl used a knife to stab the boy. The girl was taken into custody, but she was quickly released after declaring her diplomatic immunity. Police cannot arrested diplomats or their family members. They are also exempt from prosecution. The boy was rushed to the Children's National Medical Center, where he is being treated for non-life threatening injuries. *----- If You're Gonna Play You Gotta Pay -----* A New Jersey man was ordered to pay thousands of dollars in restitution to an airline over his drunken and disruptive behavior on a flight. James August was ordered to pay Hawaiian Airlines $97,817 after the flight was forced to return to the gate due to his bad behavior. He was also sentenced to three years probation. The ruling came after August pleaded guilty to interfering with flight crew members and flight attendants. The money will be taken out of August's paycheck. 10 percent of his gross income will be handed over each month to the airline until the restitution is paid in full. According to court records, August was traveling with his girlfriend and her three children from Honolulu to New York. He allegedly became abusive towards his girlfriend and her children. Two male flight attendants held him down while the captain turned back to the gate. The judge ordered August to reimburse the airline for costs it incurred when turning the plane around, including fuel, maintenance, ground crew and for passengers who had to catch other flights. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ** '**''' .' ** .** '*.***'' .. ***. ***. ***** **''. ***'* *' .*.... .*** * * ***********...'' .' ****************. ' ******************.. *****'*************.. .**'**' ***************' ''*** '''************ **''. '** *'*****. '* ' ** * ***** *. '* * ******. *. ** ****' * '**' * unknown >WILL ROGERS Never Squat With Your Spurs On Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages America has ever known. Some of his sayings: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket. 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. ~-. ,,,; ~-.~-.~- (.../ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-. } o~`, ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-. (/ \ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-. ; \ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-. ; {_.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~-.~ ;: .-~` ~-.~-.~-.~-.~-. ;.: :' ._ ~-.~-.~-.~-.~- ;::`-. '-._ ~-.~-.~-.~- ;::. `-. '-,~-.~-.~-. ';::::.`''-.-' ';::;;:,:' '||" / | ~` ~"' mic ABOUT GROWING OLDER.. First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved. Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young. Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf. And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. --- ...LOL! A Great Classic! Thanks Linda! ================================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: ---------------------------------------------------------- UUUUUUUUU| HHHHHHHHHH | |AAAAAAAA |UUUU UUUUUU C |HHHHHHHHHHHHH | LLLL |AAAAAAAAAAA |UUUUU UUUUU /\_________ HHHHHH |LLLLLLLLLL |AAAAAAAAAAAAA|UUUUU ==== / |######| ======================================= QQQQ |\ |#####/ PPPPP | UU | IIIIIIIL | TT QQQ / | |<_____ PPPPPP | UUUUUUUU | IIIIIIILLLLL| TTTT === ` ` o o ======================================= VK One morning, I was roaming the aisles of my local super- market, looking for items on my shopping list and wondering why the graham crackers aren't ever put in the cracker section. In my futile search, I kept running into a guy I'd never seen before. He was wandering up and down the aisles, with an equally lost look on his face. Somewhere between the pasta and sauces, he looked up at me and said, "I can't find a darned thing in this store!" I knew how he felt, so I asked, "What is it you're looking for?" He said, "My wife." -<>- I had just stopped by a burger drive-through for lunch to eat on the way back to work nad I ordered the #1 combo (burger, fry, coke) for $4.29. The drive-through cashier said "that'll be $4.83, please drive forward." "$4.83? For a $4.29 meal? That's 54 cents tax! That can't be right," my mind raced. Tax is 8 cents on the dollar in Huntsville and for 4 dollars that would be 32 cents plus 1/3 of 8 cents would be 35 cents max. I'd heard of window workers overcharging drive through customers and skimming the money for themselves. So I got a pen and paper and did the long division since there were 2 cars ahead of me. Let's see ... 483/429 ... over 12 percent tax! When I got to the window I handed her a 5 and said, "$4.83 for a $4.29 meal is 12 percent tax. That can't be right. Can I talk to the manager?" She gave me my change and called the manager. The manager comes over and I ask what the sales tax is in Huntsville, and she says 8 percent. I say that I just paid $4.83 for a $4.29 meal and that's over 12 percent sales tax. She said that maybe the computer had rung it up wrong or had charged me for the biggie size. She admitted it was supposed to be 4.63, and opened the drawer to give me my extra change. "HA!" I thought to myself. "Six years engineering school has so heightened my mental mathematical adeptness that I can do percentages in my head and my superior intellect has foiled a feeble attempt by a drive-through worker to overcharge me." I took the twenty cents she handed me, proud of my staggering genius, and smugly drove off without my food. -<>- I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure." -<>- One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling. Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, "What do you have in your pocket?" "Tennis ball," the man said, smiling back. "Wow!" said the woman looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!" -<>- When our ship stopped in the Atlantic Ocean for a 'swim call,' the chief boatswain noticed how nervous I was. "Don't worry," he assured me. "You are never more than three miles from land." Then he added, "Straight down." -<>- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again. -<>- When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long, the doorbell rang. "How much do you want for the trees?" a young man asked. -<>- A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?" -<>- The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment. -<>- Little Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. "A baby brother," he said. Later that year, his mother came home from the hospital with a baby boy. Little Johnny was delighted. "And what would you like this year for your birthday?" his father asked. He said, "If it isn't too uncomfortable for mommy, I'd like a pony." -<>- [Here is a classic that I haven't heard in a month of Sundays (as the saying goes). But the great thing about old jokes is that eventually they become new all over again.] Two grave diggers are working in a cemetery in Vienna one night, when they hear scuffling coming from one of the graves. At first they are terrified, but morbid curiosity gets the better of them and they unearth the grave. They hear some hushed rubbing and scraping sounds coming from inside the coffin. Hands shaking, they pull off the lid. Inside; they find Beethoven's skeleton, furiously erasing notes off of old scores. "Wha-," one of the grave diggers is petrified, "What are you doing, Herr Beethoven?" The ghoulish composer looks up, with empty eyes sockets, and says, "What does it look like? I'm decomposing!" ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: o o o __ | ,o o | / / |_ /__ / `--| |/ | \ \ \ /--. \ \ | ' | ' / | / / ** Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ** A Measure Of Happiness ** 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her. 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," The devil's name is Depression. 4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When they are in college, that is all that you can afford. When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be alive while you are alive, don't put out a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait in residence for your mail. 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not to guilt country. 10. Tell the people you love, that you love them, at every opportunity. And always remember . . . Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -<>- ____, "||||.W.|| // "| ||||^T^|| || /^^\\ \\/^\\ /^^\\ //^^|| /^^\\ || ,-'|| || || ,-'|||| || ,-'|| \\___/\\_/\;_||_ _||_\\_/\;\\__/|,\\_/\; m1a \`-'.'. /`. |\ \ `-' \ / '-./\ .'\ `-. '. `-.)\.' / `._ ''-. `:. _.' `-._...__.::::.__.--' _.-..'''''. _.---.__`._. `-. ___..-' `o> `-. .-``` <) ) .' `._.-.`-._.' / / `-' | ' / | . ' .' \ \ \ .'| ' / -..__.| / | | /| | \ '\ / \ | \ | | | | | \ / . | | / \ | | | \ \ | | | | | \ | `. | | | | | \ / `' | /_ `. /' \ `---/_ `. `.\.' `.\.' LGB `.\.' >HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A CANADIAN DRIVER IS FROM ** One hand on wheel, one hand out window: TORONTO ** One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL ** One hand on wheel, one hand out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA ** One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone, balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator: CALGARY ** Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO ** Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY ** One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cellphone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER ** One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER ** Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: MOOSE JAW ** Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy 1 in the left lane with the left blinker on: VICTORIA ** One ski-doo mitt on steering wheel, one ski-doo mittscraper in hand out front window scraping frost, Guess Who on 8 track playing Share The Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection: EDMONTON -<>- +-------------------+ | |\\| ,,-. .::. | | | \|(( )) .:' | | ``-' ::.. | | NIGHT CLUB | ______....+-------------------+....______ ....------''''''' ______....LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....______ ```````------.... ....------''''''' ```````------....| | +--------------+ _______________ +------------+ | | | Tonite Only! | / \ |DJ Blackwing| | | | ReMixer LIVE | /_________________\ | Fri Sat 9PM| | | +--------------+ | | | | | +------------+ | | | |______|______| | | |__________________________|/|_____[|]_____|\|____________________________| |__________________________|/| | |\|____________________________| | | |______|______| | | |__________________________|/ \|_________________________MJP| | / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ >Dial "L" for Loser According to the U.K. Sunday People, www.people.co.uk thousands of English men are getting the brush off when women they're interested in hand them their phone number, which turns out to be a recording that, when called tells the hapless Romeo: "The person you are calling was obviously not interested. For advice on personal hygiene, improving your dress sense or better ways of approaching females, please hold." After a short pause, the message continues: "I'm sorry, all our operators are busy washing their hair." -<>- >TRIVIA: Kuantan, Malaysia (Ananova): Malaysian firefighters had to carry a woman to an ambulance after she got her foot stuck in a toilet's sewage pipe. They smashed the bowl, but couldn't remove the pipe so they sawed it and the 65-year-old went to hospital with part of it still attached. Ee Yeng Moi from Kuantan had been standing on the toilet cleaning when she slipped and got her foot stuck. Doctors managed to free Ee's leg and she was treated for cuts and bruises, the New Straits Times reports. District fire chief Mohamad Osman said: "Our men could not pull her foot out. We then broke the toilet bowl and found that her foot was stuck firmly in the connecting pipe." He said his men had even tried applying coconut oil to help lubricate the foot but it didn't work. Source: WhiteBoard News -<>- _______\\__ (_. _ ._ _/ '-' \__. / / / / / .--. .--. ( ( / '' \/ '' \ " \ \_.' \ ) || _ './ |\ \ ___.'\ / '-./ .' \ |/ \| / )|\ |/ // \\ |\ __// \\__ //\\ /__/ mrf\__| .--_/ \_--. /__/ \__\ >THE SULTAN AND HIS SON Some years ago, a sultan was becoming angry as he had six children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy when one of his wives finally presented him with his only son and heir. Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him American Airlines. Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him The Princess Cruise Lines. Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him Disney Studios and their theaters, where he watched all his favorite cartoons. Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son, who had really gotten into the Disney cartoons, replied, "Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit." Taking what his son said literally, the father bought him AOL!! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) We Will Never Forget: USA And 9/11 Troop Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html Animals In Fall!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsinfall.html Aww Animals 10!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals10.html Animal Friends 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends5.html Dog Rescue Stories!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogrescues.html Kids With Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithanimals.html Pets In Camouflage!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshiding.html Why We Love Dogs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html Dog Family Portraits!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html Dogs As Best Friends!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestfriend.html Dog Days Of Summer!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogdays.html Animals And Windows!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsandwindows.html Pets As Famous People!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petsfamous.html Adorable Animal Selfies!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalselfies.html Look Who's Talking Now!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking.html Morning After The Party!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/afterparty.html Hand-Sized Baby Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals2.html Adorable Wrinkly Puppies!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wrinklypuppies.html FUN URLs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/urls.html -<>- >Please Follow/Visit Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/yaxy9cuh -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Dog Tired Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogtired.html --- ...HaHa! A sweet reminder! Thanks Geniann! Elmer Bendiner was a navigator in a B-17 during WW II. He tells this story of a World War II bombing run over Kassel, Germany, and the unexpected result of a direct hit on their gas tanks. https://www.truthorfiction.com/fall-of-fortresses-bendiner/ --- ...Wow! What A story! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "As part of a limited campaign, McDonald's is offering forks made from French fries. Not to be outdone, Long John Silver's began offering seafood made from fish." -Conan O'Brien "American Airlines recently announced that they plan on cutting leg room in economy class, while United Airlines announced they'll be cutting legs. 'We are coming down with the beverage cart! Get your legs out of the aisle!'" -Seth Meyers "Apple has announced that it'll be removing the handgun emoji from its smartphones and replacing it with an emoji of a squirt gun. In case you weren't paying attention, there are now more restrictions on gun emojis in the United States than on actual guns." -James Corden "According to a new survey, about half of the world thinks kissing is gross. That half is known as 'married people.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A man set a new world record after kicking himself in the head 134 times in one minute. He broke the previous record of zero." -Conan O'Brien "A winery in France is currently facing a rose shortage. For those of you not familiar with these terms, a winery is a group of women who have run out of rose." -Seth Meyers "Labor Day, in case you don't know history, was established all the way back in 1894 as a way to give Americans an extra day to dread going back to work after the weekend." -Jimmy Kimmel "Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not identify which sorority it belongs to." -Jimmy Fallon "Nintendo recently announced that its character Mario is no longer a plumber. Apparently, he was fired after coming to work on mushrooms." -Seth Meyers >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************