A Day That Will Live in Infamy And More.... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ============;===========;() # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # jgs # # # # # # # *~* It's the 74th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor - From http://tinyurl.com/nap6aj8 Today is the 74th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Thousands of Veterans and their families gathered at Pearl Harbor for a moment of silence at 7:55 A.M. this morning, the exact time that the first Japanese bombs hit 74 years ago. The men and women of the "Greatest Generation" earned that name after the horrific and cowardly attack on Pearl Harbor during the morning hours of Dec. 7, 1941. Those brave Americans rose to the occasion and restored freedom and order to the world. As we remember the surprise attacks by the Japanese that led to so many American lives being lost and launched United States into World War II, we are of course reminded of the terror attack on September 11th, 2001. As FDR described the attack on Pearl Harbor, 9/11 is a date which will live in infamy. Sadly we must also add to that list numerous other attacks that followed, such as the attack in San Bernardino, California on December 2nd. Today, the NEW Greatest Generation is now on the ground, in the seas, and in the air fighting Muslim Jihadists who brought war to America's homeland on Sept. 11, 2001. Scores upon scores of patriotic men and women joined the Armed Forces after September 11th, and fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. They have sacrificed their lives, just as our troops did in World War II. We must never forget. We must give thanks to our fighting Armed Forces. May God Abundantly Bless All Our Veterans and Their Families! We Salute and Thank each of Our Heroes for their service. :) .-"""""""-. .' __ \_ / / \/ \ | \_0/\_0/______ |:. .' oo`\ |:. / \ |' ; | | |:.. . \_______ | |::.|' , \,_____\ / |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: /::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: jgs / \ # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # L I N K S : # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Freedom Isn't Free http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Fighter Aircraft http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fighteraircraft.html Semper Fidelis http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/semperfi.html Liberty Air Show http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Angel Wing Decoys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html Proud Of Our Troops 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops5.html Ray's Freedom Rock 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock2.html Final Toast http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finaltoast.html Kilroy Was Here http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html Daily With The Troops 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily3.html Sgt. Reckless - War Horse Hero! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sgtreckless.html SGT. STUBBY WAR DOG HERO! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html WWII P-51 MUSTANG PILOT! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wwiipilot.html WILLIE, JOE AND BILL IN WWII! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mauldin.html Kodachrome Photos From 1942/43! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kodachrome1942.html MILITARY WWII POSTERS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarywwii.html MILITARY MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/military.html -<>- >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This First too hot to handle new page is from our friends LouiseA, PatDeE and Geniann. It is sure to tickle your funny bone with it's many real world examples of irony. For miles of smiles Check this one out here () __/\__ |\ .-"` `"-. /| | \.'( ') (' ) (. )`./ | \_ _/ \ `~"'=::='"~` / , `-.__ __.-' , .---'\________( `""~~""` )________/'---. > ) / `""~~~~""` \ ( < '----`--..__/ -(-)- \__..--`----' |_____ __ _____| [_____[##]_____] | | \ || / jgs \ || / .-"~`--._||_.--'~"-. (_____,.--""--.,_____) IRONIC Isn't It 2? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony2.html --- ...LOL! Got a kick out of this one! Thanks my friends! The next 2 super scorchers are from our friend Melinda. You will have a good time seeing all your favorite and not so favorite famous persons here! Another two to tickle your funny bone. Check them out here.... .-'"""'-. ,____|_______|____, '._____________.' REACH FOR |.-- --.| THE SKY! |(o) (o)| (| |) | U | __ | .___. | YOU'RE MY /||| | | FAVORITE |||| : : DEPUTY! | |/) `.___.' \ / __) (__ \/\ /\ \ / /\ \ \ /\ \ ^ / /\ THERE'S A \ \ / | |0_/\_ \ SNAKE IN \ \/ /| | \ /\ \ MY BOOT! \ / | |0//\\ \ \ \/ | / \ | \ \ |/ .-. \| / / Celebrity Caricatures! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/caricatures.html Celebrity Caricatures 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/caricatures2.html --- ...Wonderful Melinda! I got my SMILES On! Thank you! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-"'"-. | | (`-._____.-') .. `-._____.-' .. .', :./'.== ==.`\.: ,`. : ( : ___ ___ : ) ; '._.: |0| |0| :._.' / `-'_`-' \ _.| / \ |._ .'.-| ( ) |-.`. //' | .-"`"`-'"`"-. | `\\ || | `~":-...-:"~` | || || \. `---' ./ || || '-._ _.-' || / \ _/ `~:~` \_ / \ ||||\) .-' / \ `-. (/|||| \||| (`.___.')-(`.___.') |||/ '"' jgs `-----' `-----' '"' A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three," and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three," and she suddenly found the key to a brand new Porsche in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror. -<>- Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $200,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package." The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years, say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?" And the HR Person said, "Certainly ...but you started it." -<>- Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting." -<>- A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years', but we finished it in 51 days!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 7 is International civil Aviation Day and Pearl Harbor Day December 8 is National Brownie Day and Take it in the Ear Day December 9 is Christmas Card Day and National Pastry Day December 10 is Human Rights Day December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day December 12 is National Ding-a-Ling Day and Poinsettia Day December 13 is Ice Cream Day, International Children's Day and Violin Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .--. | | ______________ || .-"______________"-. ." ." ". ". / / __________ |\ \ | | .-'__ _ _ _ _'-.||| | | |.' /__/_/_/_/_/ '.| | | || _____________ || | | ;|__________________|; | '--|o .--------------. o|--' (| | .-. .-. | |) | | ( ())( ()) | | / | '-' '-' | \ | '--------------' | | ,_ /\ _, | | |=="'--------'"==| | | |================| | | \==============/ | jgs | `-.________.-` | `-.__________________.-' /)))))/' ___ `\ (( / .-------' | :. \ \)))>-=<| ===) | ::------' '-------._|_:' >Looking for Dad One day I tried to reach my dad, a real charmer with the ladies, at his tennis club. I gave a description of him to the receptionist, but she didn't recognize him. Then I gave her his name, but she didn't know him. I gave it one more try: "He's probably told you that you're the most beautiful woman in Orlando." She laughed and said, "I'll go get him." -<>- A Good Sport I was running a tennis camp for little kids. At the beginning, I talked to the campers about good sportsmanship. I asked "Can anyone tell me what a good sport is?" One little 5-year-old raised his hand and said, "Baseball." -<>- >Teamwork "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband. "Toast and juice," she replied. -<>- >Ancient Animal? Fred looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Dad, What's a millennium?" "Well," the father muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs." -<>- >Cleaning Up Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read, "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ___ .-'` `'-. _,.'.=== ===.'.,_ / / .___. .___. \ \ / / ( o ) ( o ) \ \ _ : /| '-'___'-' |\ ; (_) | |`\_,.-'` `"-.,_/'| | /| | | \ / | | /\; | | \ / | | _ ___ /\/ | | \ __ /\ | |' `\-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-./` `"-,/\/ | | \ (__) /\ `-'| | `\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \`\ \/ | | \-...-/ `-,_| | \`\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ | | '---' / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | \_/ | \_/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | .--. ; | .--. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / \ | | / / / / / / / / / / / / / / | |/ jgs |`-.___| |/-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'`--| | ,.-----'~~; | | (_(_(______)| | (_(_(_______) | | ,-----`~~~\ ,-----`~~~\ (_(_(_______) (_(_(_______) >Jokes When our last child moved out, I'd passed my fiftieth birthday. my wife encouraged me to join Big Brothers. I was matched up with a thirteen- year-old named Alex. At our first outing, we ran into his friend at the library. "Who's he?" the friend asked Alex, pointing to me. "That's my Big Brother, Randall." The boy looked at me, then back at Alex, and asked,. "Dude, how old is your mother?" ------------ A father was reading the Bible to his little girl before bedtime one night. He was on the first chapter of Genesis. "In the beginning, the world was without form and void," the father read. "And God said, 'Let there be light.' And God separated the light from the dark." "I know what happens next!" the little girl exclaimed excitedly. "What happens next?" asked the father, smiling. The girl replied, "God did two loads of laundry!" ------------ "What did you learn in school today, dear?" "We learned about music. The teacher drew a curlicue on the board." "Did she call it a treble clef?" "Yeah. Then she drew some lines and asked me to come up and draw a note on the lines." "What did you do?" "I wrote, 'Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I'm fine.'" ------------ Letter to the Editor: "My wife was about to file for a divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. So she changed her mind about the divorce. Cancel my subscription." ------------- I couldn't find our cordless phone. After I had searched for it in vain for several minutes my young daughter said, "You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost." ------------ Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my messages." ------------ My 17 year old daughter, Steph who had just received her provisional driving license offered to drive us to church. After a wild ride, we finally reached our destination. Steph's mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you." "Anytime," Steph replied. As my wife slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God! ------------ A redhead accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease brought on by stress," he informed her. "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he's in a good mood. For lunch and dinner make him nutritious meals. There should be no dessert in the house. No chocolate. No fighting. Don't burden him with chores or discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband whenever he wants it and be sure to satisfy his every whim even if this means doing things you wouldn't normally do. If you can do this for the next year or so, your husband should regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her. She sighed sadly and replied, "You're going to die." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >REMEMBER WHEN... - Your computer's ready-mode was a black screen with a single cursor, and there was no such thing as Windows; there was just "DOS." --- ...Yes! I programmed and made menus to help our customers load programs. - Your phone choices and bills were much easier because AT&T was a good old-fashioned monopoly. - There was this amazing new video game called "Pong" and you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable. - The first true laptop computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80. If you were hip, you referred to it affectionately as a TRASH-80. - Sean Connery was Pierce Brosnan. - The astonishing mobility was a cordless phone you could take around the house; it got better reception than the one you can now take all over the country. - Mail was something you wrote on a piece of paper and put into a stamped envelope. And you didn't get 110 unsolicited pieces of it every morning promising great riches or body enhancements. - There was a guy on "60 Minutes" named Mike Wallace who was so old you figured he'd retire at the latest by 1990. - No normal person had speakers on a computer. - The diners at the next restaurant table were smoking cigarettes and you barely noticed. - A 100 megabyte hard drive seemed as big as a warehouse. - An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced concept in compact music recording. - Jokes were always told in person! Yeah, you're old...:) --- ...HaHa! Yep! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) >Santa Facts HO .----. HO .' ,_ \ _ HO /__ ( \| / ( . {___`'-.\{_} | `|_ /6)6`'-._} \_.'_} |/_ _7 | {_.'| |5-.' /( | \{\ /:'`} \ /.\__/ _.'`\ \ ; o ``` \ ; o \ \_ | o \.'` } ; o_ {__.'\ \==[_]=======|/) | `; .' /_/ / `- / / / /\ \ {`-._/ \ _.'`} ;-.__} {__.'\ __/ / \_ \ ( ` / / / jgs '.__/ (__.' There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle. (You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents) Only one REAL Santa! Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons. Santa’s reindeer are the R.t. platyrhynchus subspecies from the Svalbard islands off Norway. They weigh about half as much as the average reindeer species and are at least a foot shorter in length proving very useful when landing on roofs. Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-tons sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph. Santa only uses 8 reindeer plus Rudolph. To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound. At that speed, without Christmas Magic, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously. --- ...Wow! Good thing Santa has Christmas magic! Thanks Karen! Kid Santa Facts http://www.kidsplayandcreate.com/cute-santa-claus-facts-just-for-kids/ -<>- _, .-"``'. _..-"`` \ / \ _.-" | \ /|\ \ .--...-' | '-' | | | \ :: | | | | | :: | / / | | :: | / / \ / .: | / / . '._ _.' .: | / / :: ``--`` .: / ; ;| :: .: / | | \ ':. ' / | | `. ':. .' | | _'. ': .' | | /` `\`-._ ____ ____ __,-;` ; ; \_/\ \.-'```'-._`""`_.-'```'-._\ \ __ \ \ / _.-'`'-._ '..' _.-'`'-. '. \ / `\ \ \ / .' '. .' /`\_) . \ \__ \ \ <.____________> <_____\____/_> '.__) | jgs '._ / `""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""` >Post Office... Priceless...Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it! Ok, a little holiday humor for you Sometimes you just can't win! There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope... Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those B's at the post office! Sincerely, Edna --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Karen! -<>- _ J I N G L E \ (__ M Y '.__`'-. B E L L S `'. \ __ .--._) | __..--''__``--../ \_/\.' .'`__..--`` ``--..\ \ / | ( '--' \ ;--. /\_/ \__ .--. \ \ /__`'--/\_/ \ '--' `'--\ / /----. '--`-----.`\ __) | .'__.' jgs /_( >Typical day I get up in the morning at the break of dawn Drag my body to the kitchen Put the coffee on. Pour myself a cup of strong Colombian brew Then I run to my computer Is there mail from you? The telephone is ringin' There's someone at the door Maybe they'll go away I can just ignore. My breathing is racin' I breakout in a sweat Oh My Goodness are these hives? I haven't read my email yet. I've got this stupid dial-up It comes on like a snail Anticipation is building THEN....there it is YOU'VE GOT MAIL ! In-between the ads and other junk they send me All the names of Internet Friends I'm as happy as can be. I read your news I read your jokes I laugh till my sides are achin' Then I send them on to others I'm so excited Both my hands start shakin'. Since I got this computer I've forgotten what some words mean What's that you say? Housework? --- ...HaHa! Yeah, what is that anyway? Thanks Karen! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From AFA: A Day That Will Live in Infamy http://www.afa.net/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: We all need that little spark in our relationships. Some couples like to tie each other up. Some role play. Some swing with other couples. I won't tell you what my wife and I like to do, but I'm sure a lot of my readers have some interesting personal interests. So as far as kinks go, the cross-dressing part of today's story doesn't bury the bizarre meter. The chaining up part is a little confusing. Police have cited a man for disorderly conduct for allegedly chaining himself inside his car while parked outside a Pennsylvania drug store and dressed as a woman. Police were called to a Walgreen's store about 11:20 p.m. when someone reported seeing the 28-year-old man chained inside the car. When police arrived, the man told them he had restrained himself because he had come to buy his wife a drink at the store, but found it difficult to work up the courage to enter the store dressed as a woman. A police report says the suspect chained himself "to build himself up to going into the store dressed like a woman." The man his charged with disorderly conduct "for causing a public alarm." -<>- It's called tempting fate. When you have beaten the odds, but you keep going back for more until the inevitable happens. People have tempted fate in all walks of life; relationships, gambling, career, and unfortunately, like the woman in today's story, in life itself. 25-year-old Brittany Leith miraculously came out of a horrible situation with the best possible luck. While driving home early in the morning in Long Island, Leith somehow managed to hit the center median and flip her vehicle completely over onto its roof. Other drivers came to her aid and helped her get out through a broken window. Incredibly, Leith seemed to be completely uninjured as she stood on the side of the road. That was when she decided that she absolutely had to retrieve her purse from the wreck. Her rescuers begged her not to cross the dark parkway, but before emergency personnel could arrive Leith walked back out into traffic and was struck and killed instantly by a passing car. There is no report of what was in the purse. *-- Police: Motorist sipped beer in traffic next to marked patrol car --* ORLANDO, Fla. - Florida police said they arrested a motorist accused of enjoying an ice cold beer in full view of an officer driving in a marked patrol car. The Orlando Police Department said Officer Jose Sanchez was driving in a marked patrol car just before noon Saturday when he spotted a motorist, later identified as Edgar Cortes, sipping from what appeared to be a bottle of beer. "As I passed the vehicle...I observed the driver drink from a bottle that appeared to resemble that of an alcoholic beverage," the Orlando Sentinel quoted Sanchez as writing in his report. "The bottle's content appeared to be dark yellow in color, reasonably appearing to me to be the color of beer." Sanchez found Cortes to be in possession of an unfinished bottle of Corona Extra beer, a loaded 9 mm pistol and a small bag of marijuana. Cortes was charged with driving with an open container, carrying a concealed firearm and armed possession of marijuana with intent to sell. He was taken to jail and later released after posting bail. *-- Police probing domestic violence report find man battling spider --* WOLLSTONECRAFT, Australia - An Australian police department called to a suspected domestic violence scene said they instead discovered a man locked in mortal combat with a spider. The Harbourside Local Area Command said in a Facebook post several officers responded to an apartment in Wollstonecraft, New South Wales, on a report of "a woman screaming hysterically" and a man's voice shouting, "I'm going to kill you, [you're] dead! Die Die!!" The post said neighbors reported hearing furniture being thrown around the inside of the residence. The officers arrived and found a man alone in the residence. The Facebook post recounted the man's conversation with officers: Police: "Where's your wife?" Male: "Umm I don't have one." Police: "Where your girlfriend?" Male: "Umm I don't have one" Police: "We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?" Male: "I don't know what you're talking about I live alone." Police: "Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit." Police said the man "became very sheepish" at this point in the conversation. Police: "Come on mate, what have you done to her?" Male: "It was a spider." Police "Sorry??" Male: "It was a spider, a really big one!!" Police: "What about the women screaming?" Male: "Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders." The man was not charged and officers left after a quick search of the apartment confirmed the resident's account. --- ...Here's the news on it: http://www.ooyuz.com/geturl?aid=9319817 *-- Florida woman's mystery illness traced to moldy breast implants --* SHALIMAR, Fla. - A Florida woman misdiagnosed with lupus, arthritis and thyroid problems said a doctor found the true cause of her illness: moldy breast implants. Anne Ziegenhorn of Shalimar said she started experiencing symptoms including weight gain, vision loss and burning pain in 2011 and doctors offered a series of diagnoses including lupus, arthritis and thyroid problems -- all of which were later proven false. "I felt like that was it, I was gonna die, and the doctors were gonna let me die," Ziegenhorn told WEAR-TV. "After going through what I've gone through -- hundreds and thousands of dollars in medical bills, I've lost my career. It was taxing on our marriage," she told WPSD-TV. Dr. Susan Kolb, author of "The Naked Truth About Breast Implants," gave Ziegenhorn a different diagnosis that was later proven true: Her saline breast implants, which she obtained in 1998 and are in silicone shells, were covered in mold. "Silicone sickness in and of itself is one entity. And then you add the mold to it that we had, and then you've got two illnesses going on," Ziegenhorn said. Kolb said she has seen numerous cases of moldy implants, which often result from defective valves. "My experience in doing this for 30 years is that eventually everybody will become ill from their breast implants, unless they die sooner from something else," Kolb said. The doctor, who said she has implants herself, recommended women replace their implants every eight to 15 years for safety. Ziegenhorn and other survivors formed a group called "The Implant Truth Survivors Committee" to educate women and doctors about the dangers of moldy implants. "I literally willed myself to live and willed myself to get this message out here This is my purpose, this is why I'm here," she said. *-- Mauritanian president may have ended boring soccer match --* KSAR, Mauritania - A championship soccer match in Mauritania ended early, some say because the country's president deemed the game too boring. Regulation of the Mauritanian Super Cup championship game prematurely ended in the 63rd minute after President Mohamed Ould Abdel Aziz reportedly sent the game to penalty shootouts. The match between FC Tevragh-Zeina and ACS Ksar was tied 1-1 when Aziz was said to have grown frustrated with the pace of the game and ordered that it be sent to a tie-breaker early. Tevragh-Zenia was awarded the championship after the highly controversial decision to go to penalty kicks early. As speculation began to swirl around the bizarre ending, Mauritanian soccer federation president Ahmed Ould Abderhamane denied Aziz's involvement in the decision in a written statement. "I deny in the strongest terms the intervention of the president of the republic," he wrote. "The decision was made due to organisational issues in accordance with the presidents and the coaches of the two teams." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) -=[ Merry *Croak*mas]=- 12/96 M E R R Y "C R O A K" M A S ! _..------.._ .-" ". .' \ ' .''. / / \ '..' '. \/ /---.----.--.---.-( \ '.()o { } | ____ "" {____.-._____.-.____}\ | ____ / `"=._ _/ (o ) (o ) \_ `\ |_ _.="` \ | "=. /' '-'_,-,_'-' `\ / \ .=" | | ". ". | '. _."_.-._"._ .' |\__/" ." | ". ". ". \ `"-.~._^_.~.-"` / ." ." ." ". ". ". `--._ `-.~.-` _.--` ." ." ." "=._ ". "=./ `._ _.` \.=" ." _.=" "=._ "._ / `"""""` \ _." _.=" "=. "-. : : .-" .=" ". "| Y Y |" ." _.="` _\ \ / /_ `"=._ _.-"""``""` _.-"`__\ \-.____.-/ /__`"-._ `""``"""-._ .-'.-' _.-'_.-"`jgs.' .' .'\ \ / /'. '._'. `"-._'-._'-.'-. `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` `"` >The Retirement Q&A! Retirement can be a wonderful thing. It sure is a huge change in one's life, moving from office to home, from keeping hours to keeping yourself busy and having fun. Indeed, retirement has many secrets, which is why it was important for me to ask some 'hard' questions about this phase of life. Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it - Gene Perret Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. 'There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!' - Groucho Marx Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: Idiot Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Lunch. I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy - Danny McGorty Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday Sunday, I rest. I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! =========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: __ [_ | _____||_____ .'` _ || .'`\ ,;;, / _[_]_ || / | _(\()/)___ | (") \/ | | /__(/\)___/| | >/ . \< | || || || | \_:_/ | _.'| || || '-----...----`\ |____||____|/ | | \ | | | '.__/ jgs | | My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table. Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!" The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!" -<>- A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult." the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset." -<>- A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take: - Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag - Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves - 24 hours supply of food and drink - De-icer - 5 lbs of rock salt - flashlight with spare batteries - Road flares and reflective triangles - Tow rope - 5 gallon gas can - First aid kit - Jump cables I felt like a complete idiot getting on the bus this morning. -<>- To our shock and horror, my sister-in-law and I realized we had each been married nearly 30 years. "That's a long time," I observed. "A long, long time," she agreed. Then she smiled. "Something just occurred to me." "What's that?" "If I had killed your brother the first time I felt like it, I'd be out of jail by now." -<>- Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey. I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?" Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes?" "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?" -<>- In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N." ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: ) _ \ ) (_) _ () \ .-'` \ ) {_} () .-'````'-. / ) \ / `'-. ___ /.------. \| \ () \ .-'`___`;/ __ `\ | __ () | .'.-'` __'.| o/__\o |/ / /| \/ / o /__\o\ \\// /; // / ._ \_| \\//|`-.__.-'|\ '; / / \ .' \-.___.'| || |/ \/ `._ '-/ | || '.___./ . '-.\_.-' __'-._||_.-' _ / .`""===(||).___.(||)(||)----'(||)===...__ `"jgs"`""=====""""========"""====...__ `""==._ `"=. `"=. `"=. The trouble with people who have broken a habit is that they usually have the pieces mounted and framed.- Ivern Boyett ** Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. -- Mark Twain, 1835 - 1910 ** Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace. www.MikeysFunnies.com ** "Direct my thought, words and work, wash away my sins in the immaculate Blood of the Lamb, and purge my heart by Thy Holy Spirit…Daily frame me more and more into the likeness of Thy Son Jesus Christ." --President George Washington ** "One of the paradoxes of confession is that we fear we will weaken our relationship with the person we confess to, but in reality, we strengthen the bond...God has given us the wonderful gift of mutual accountability, but too few of us actually take advantage of it because we are afraid of what others will think of us if we share our doubts, fears, concerns, sins, and failures. The devil is counting on this fear preventing us from becoming transparent with one another." ~~~- James Bryan Smith ** -<>- ** Putting It Together ** The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think." -<>- ** No Offense Taken ** A local Pastor joined a community Service Club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him. Under his name badge they printed, "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented. The Pastor responded by saying, " I usually am called the 'Shepherd of the sheep'... ...but you know your people better than I do." -<>- ** Wow! What Control You Have ** Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?" "No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye?" -<>- ** I Know How You Feel ** While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man just sat there, alone and quiet. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too." -<>- ** Telegram Exchange Plan ** A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a collect telegram which read: "I am perfectly well." A week later, the joker received a heavy parcel--collect-- package on which he had to pay considerable charges. Upon opening it, he found a big block of concrete, which had this message: "This is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind." -<>- ** Blind Leading The Blind ** My friend Linda, her sister, and I were driving in the procession to the cemetery for the funeral of a distant relative. "Since we don't really know anybody, do you want to head on home?" she asked. When her sister nodded, Linda made a right turn. She had gotten about a quarter of a mile down the road when she happened to look in her rear-view mirror. The rest of the procession was still following us! -<>- *** You'll Be Next ** Adam is a young single man and attends a family wedding. At the wedding he meets relatives that he hasn't seen for years. One of his elderly Aunties, Aunt Betty, walks over to him and gives him a hug and says, "You'll be next my love." Four years pass by and another family wedding occurs. The same Auntie says to him, "You'll be next my love." By this time Adam is getting quite annoyed by his Aunt Betty's words, as he doesn't want to get married. He really wants to come up with some sort of response. Five years pass on, and this time one of his Uncles has died. He attends his funeral and sees Aunt Betty standing talking to other relations. He walks up to her and says, "You'll be next my love." -<>- ** Parking Lot Rules For The Not So Smart ** 1. When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing 2. Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred. 3. In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both. 4. As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull through and take it from him. 5. Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car. 6. When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard. 7. When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed. 8. When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rules applies to picking-up and discharging passengers. 9. When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it. -<>- ** Greatest Books Not Written ** ** NATIONS IN GREATNESS ** 1) Canadian Tips on World Dominance 2) A Guide to Arab Democracies 3) Fat-free Indian Cooking 4) English Tanning Secrets 5) A Guide to Swiss Beaches 6) Spicy Irish Cooking 7) Brilliant Spanish Military Campaigns 8) Great Cars of Russia 9) Advances in Chinese Human Rights 10) French Hospitality ** PERSONALITIES IN TITLES ** 1) Bob Dole: The Wild Years 2) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette 3) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman ** MISCELLANEOUS TITLES ** 1) Easy UNIX 2) Honest Lawyers 3) Career Opportunities for History Majors 4) Everything Men Know About Women 5) The Amish Phone Book 6) Gypsy Sports Heroes 7) Around the World in a Peugeot -<>- ** Things To Think About... Seriously ** ** - The length of a minute depends entirely on what side of the bathroom door you're on. ** - Banks have two things I love: money and holidays. ** - It's not true that married men live longer than single men ... it just seems that way. ** - You may be nobody's fool now, but don't worry ... someone will adopt you. ** - A key ring is a handy little device that was invented so you could lose ALL your keys at once! ** - Repeat after me: we are all individuals! ** - If the NASA scientists are all so smart, why do they count backwards? ** - I used to be indecisive ... I think. ** - A careful study of economics has recently revealed that the best time to buy anything is last year. ** - You've heard that it takes two mystery writers to change a light bulb? One to screw it almost all the way in and a second to give it a surprise twist at the end. ** - For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. ** - If a shepherd takes care of sheep, shouldn't a coward take care of - cows? ** - I'm not cheap ... but I am on special this week. ** - I love defenseless animals ... especially in a good gravy. ** - Are televangelists the pro wrestlers of religion? ** - When I'm not in my right mind, well, my left mind can get pretty crowded too. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Full Christmas Index! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html Best Buddies http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestbuds.html Aww Animals 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html Morons at Work!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Jasmine The Greyhound!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jasmine.html Dog Warriors!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html Why God Gave Us Puppies!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whypuppies.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Why We Love Dogs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html Dog Eat Dog World!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogeatdog.html Suryria And Roscoe!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang2.html Bikes From The Past!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pastbikes.html Pets Left Home Alone!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html Lest We Forget #2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget2.html K9 9/11 Heroes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/k9-11.html Tinian Island!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tinian.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Pearl Harbour After the last tour is over.... https://www.youtube.com/embed/MgE2KiPd3xg?feature=player_detailpage Umbrella Magic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c9z9515YWg LORENZO INTERNATIONAL HORSE SHOW https://www.youtube.com/embed/nOeIAnhHAik --- ...Beautiful! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) As this video proves, dance is so much more than just entertainment. These talented dancers express their spirituality and faith in one of the most awe-inspiring and powerful performances you'll probably ever see - all with the help of a breathtaking backdrop. A truly remarkable performance! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qtFjmNpT7K0 A great look at several reasons why dogs make great babysitters. Dogs love to play with kids, eat food with kids and probably best of all dogs like to take naps. Dog owners know that kids love dogs and many dogs will bond with a kid in unbelievable ways. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GPii0ILHA8&feature=player_embedded --- ..TeeHee! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) 10 Facts You Didn't Know About Blood Tests http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=16521 --- ...Good Info! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) She sent us one we have here... Where's The Line to See Jesus? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seejesus.html --- ...Love It! Thanks Melinda! Yes, the US Is Deporting Iraqi Christians. Here's Why. http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/church-and-state/ Friendship http://tinyurl.com/z3f9ddu "This Baby": Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1wlZoN6h9M&feature=em-share_video_user --- ...Sweet! Thanks Melinda! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A dog in Seattle is making news after commuters noticed it had been riding the bus to a local park all by itself. Everyone says the dog is amazing, while the dog said, panicking, 'I gotta find that blind guy. I'm in a lot of trouble if I don't find him." -Jimmy Fallon "A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel "Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as 'single.'" -Seth Meyers "I personally am so excited about cyber Monday. I've been sleeping in a tent outside my computer since Friday." -James Corden "Pringles is selling a line of scented candles in the U.K. that smell like different Pringles flavors. They said they tried selling them in the U.S., but people ate them." -Jimmy Fallon "Yesterday was Cyber Monday, where Americans spent billions of dollars while shopping online. And tomorrow we'll be celebrating What The Hell Is All This Wednesday?" -Conan O'Brien "I don't think people who participate in black Friday are there for the bargains. It seems like they go for a socially acceptable excuse to punch a stranger in the face." -James Corden "Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that have dipped below $2. That means it's now cheaper to buy a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee at Starbucks." -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************