A Tall Tale And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press This flaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. This is what most adventurers would dream of happening to them while out enjoying the wilderness! Be sure to check out this fun one here... _, <\ `. `. `~'^----.._ _ `. , _, `.`-. ' ) , ),'-~'( / ` .`-.___,-' ( /; `'\, ` _/' _// `. atc ' " ' " ' ` Cheetah Encounter! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cheetahs.html --- ...Wowsers! That had to have been exciting! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: A _,-' `-._ _-'_________`-_ ``---\_ _/---`` (_ - _) \_._/ 8 __H__ 8 \ | / 8 |\ | /| 8 _|_|||_|_8 `-,/ \,-'8. | | `8< | | |-,-| gnv'-'-' A Chinese student was learning English from a 30 day rapid learner book. He decided to try it out in the college canteen. When served coffee he replied: "Thank you sir or madam, as the case may be." -<>- A father took his young son to the opera for the first time. The conductor started waving the baton, and the soprano began her aria. The boy watched everything intently and finally asked: "Why is he hitting her with his stick?" "He's not hitting her," answered the father with a chuckle. "Well, then," asked the boy, "why is she screaming?" -<>- A band director was having a lot of trouble with one of his drummers. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but performance didn't improve. Finally, in front of the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer." A whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor." -<>- >Laws The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist. The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look. Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense. Conway's Law: In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets. Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There is always one more bug. Law of Drunkenness: You can't fall off the floor. Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists. Osborne's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't. Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ August 19 is Aviation Day and National Potato Day August 20 is National Radio Day and World Mosquito Day August 21 is National Spumoni Day and Senior Citizen's Day August 22 is Be an Angel Day and National Tooth Fairy Day August 23 is Ride the Wind Day August 24 is Vesuvius Day August 25 is Kiss and Make Up Day and National Banana Split Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || >Leftovers A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty new bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before." -<>- >Bird Tags According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. -<>- >Dude Ranch My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't, she replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic." -<>- >Thank You As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of our local community zoo, I occasionally receive thank you notes from members of school groups. One of my favorites said: "Dear Molly, I am a third grader. I loved all the animals in the zoo. You were the best of all. Love, Theresa." -<>- >Letter from Camp Dear Mom & Dad: We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty; and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us. Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Billy PS: How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot? ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) /\.-./~\ (o//o)| \-._ .-"-. .~.'~ | | )`-----' \._ (").'/.| | ( /-.\ (_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ \ / / ____.-\ / )) /\| /_.-' \\ \ (( // || \\ \ \| \\ ||' // \\ (/ || _// \\ " (_/ (_/ (_/MJP " " " >A Tall Tale... A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend - he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!” That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?”" Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says, "and I’ll get him in the course." So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So, how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won’t believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!” "Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?” "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.” The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, this time Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him. So, she has him shoot the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited. "Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!” "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”. "Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so - is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?” The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!” "I sure did, Daddy! "That's my boy!” The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school, he became Governor of Arkansas and then Bill became President of the United States, and you already know what a liar his girlfriend Hillary turned out to be! --- ...Oh For Goodness Sake! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- An Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner. The term is often applied to philosophical, moral, and literary principles. Read on... * I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? * I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. * When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. * Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? * America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. * You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your common sense leaving your body. * My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. * Money talks ... all mine ever says is good-bye. * You're not fat, you're just easier to see. * If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. * I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters and Twin Peaks. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?" * I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named "Sag Harbor." * Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks! * The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. * I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos. * Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch! * The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk. Now, don't you feel better knowing what an aphorism is? --- ...Teehee! Thanks LouuiseAu! -<>- .---. (_---_) (_/6 6\_) ( v ) `\ /' .-'': ;``-. / \,Y./ \ / (:)___ \ : .-'XXX`-.`\_; `.__.-XXX-.__.'\_ / / XXX \ \ `\_ / XXX \ `\ / XXX \ _`\___ jgs / \ (`--"""-') / \ (=-=-=-=-) `--...___ ___...--' (________) >The Reporter and Hattie, a 101 year old... Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101? Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink red wine. In the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink Schnapps. Reporter: When do you drink water? Hattie: I ain't never been that sick. --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >SMILES Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?' Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.' Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?' Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic? ---------- Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the IRS. Can you help us?' 'I can!' 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' ---------- Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' ---------- Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: From: Markus Welz () -==o \ (V) -==Q "'\ (V) -==Q >Deter Mosquitoes with Clove Oil If you feel like a mosquito magnet each time you step outside, take heart. There's a quick fix that University of Wisconsin researchers say works as well as many DEET- containing repellents. Simply mix 2 drops of close essential oil into 2 tsp. of your favorite unscented lotion and apply to bite-prone areas like your ankles, wrists and neck. While the warm, sweet scent is pleasant to us, it repels mosquitoes. In fact, researchers say the aroma will keep them away for hours. Or plant catnip! Make your yard a mosquito free zone by planting catnip in your garden. A member of the mint family, catnip contains an oil called nepetalactone that repels 50 percent more mosquitoes than DEET, according to research presented at a meeting of the American Chemical Society. >A Blister Prevention Trick For Your Feet Strappy summer sandals and flip-flops will stay as comfortable as they are cute if you give your feel a spritz of aerosol antiperspirant each morning. UCLA researchers say antiperspirant reduces moisture production in the feet, cutting your risk of sweat-triggered blisters in half. -<>- _..._ ___ ___ ___ ___ _..._ ,' `::. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,~ `:. ,' `::. : `::: `:: `:: `:: `:: `::: : .::: .:: .:: .:: .:: .::: : .:::`. .;' `. .;' `. .;'.`. .;': .::: : .::: `.' .`.'.: `.' ::`.' :. .::: :. .::' ::: : `: .::: `: .:: : : .::' : .:: . :. .:: : ::' `: .::. .\ `: ,: :. : .::.: :.\ :. :.: :`: .' .::.: ::`. : :':: : `: : .;'.: : `.; :'.:: : :: ;:' :: . :' .::. .: .:: : : :' ::: :' .:: . : `:: : .:: :' .::. .: .::: : .::: ,:. .:. :' .::: : .:::,' `:. ,' `:.: .::: : .::: ::: ::: .::: : .::: ::: ::: .::: `._ .::'.`._.::' `._.::'.`._ .::' _ Seal _ ~~~ :: :: ~~~ >Solutions that combat disease-causing oral bacteria. * Floss With Water Flossing dislodges debris between teeth to prevent 38 percent of the bleeding gums that allow disease-causing bacteria into the bloodstream. If you're one of the 60 percent of Americans who avoid floss, consider a water flosser. Studies show the devices are 33 percent more effective at eliminating bleeding than string floss. * Dry Brush Using a dry toothbrush cuts plaque buildup by 63 percent and reduces gum bleeding by 55 percent, according to one study. Just use a dry brush for one minute then brush with toothpaste for another two minutes. * Pick a Better Paste Many brands of toothpaste contain sodium lauryl sulfate, a surface cleaner that inhibits saliva production. That's a problem since lack of saliva can make the mouth a breeding ground for bacteria that increase disease risk. Opt for a paste made with xylitol, a sweetener that enhances saliva production and has been shown to decrease the risk of tooth decay by 60 percent. * Try an Alternative to Mouthwash Commercial mouthwashes contain alcohol, which allows bad-acting bacteria to thrive. A better bet is swishing with a DIY rinse made from 3 Tbs of food grade aloe vera juice, 3 Tbs of water and a drop of peppermint oil. One study found that an aloe rinse reduces plaque and boosts gum health as effectively as drugstore mouthwash, but without the harsh ingredients. -<>- >'Go Green' Hints: Conserving water by only washing full loads and saving energy by using warm or cold water instead of hot are not the only ways you can be environmentally conscious in the laundry room. Detergents. Components such as colorants really aren't necessary - they are often just there to make them pleasing to the eye as you pour them out. Fragrances are of particular concern as companies often aren't required to detail what these are comprised of. Just about every supermarket these days offers "earth friendly" detergents and usually you'll find they are quite a bit cheaper too due to the no-frills, low active chemical approach - yet they can be just as effective. If you need a bit of extra punch to your wash in terms of bleaching, consider adding a 1/2 cup of lemon juice to the rinse cycle. By the way, a teaspoon of lemon juice thrown into your wash can also help your clothes to smell fresher. -<>- When it comes time to dry off, towels made from materials like organic cotton and bamboo are the way to go. Conventional cotton is one of the most chemically-intensive, pesticide-laden crops on the planet--to the tune of 2 billion pounds of synthetic fertilizers and 84 million pounds of pesticides each year, causing a whole laundry list of environmental health problems for those who apply the pesticides and harvest the crop, not to mention the damage done to soil, irrigation, and groundwater systems. Bamboo, in addition to being a fast-growing sustainable alternative to cotton, is also reputed to have anti- bacterial qualities when spun into linens. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: BREAKING: Inmate Reveals CRUCIAL Information On Epstein's Death http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-19bwds-kj0z7r-b61d11g5/ Kamala Harris COMPLETELY Humiliated, Cries For Help http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-19bwds-kj0z7x-b61d11g1/ CEO Says Bill Barr about to Break "Biggest Scandal in American History" http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-19bwds-kj0z81-b61d11g1/ Biden Brings Up 1994 Weapon Ban, Only One Problem http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-198l06-kij4ld-b61d11g5/ Steve Scalise Drops BOMB On Liberals, Leaves Them SPEECHLESS http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-198l06-kij4ln-b61d11g5/ Westwing News: https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Chicken, Fish Products, Pet Food http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Scientists in Shock after Finding Micro Plastics Here http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: If you took physics in high school you probably remember that the acceleration due to gravity is 32 feet (or 9.8 meters) per second (squared). That might not sound like a lot, but for a human body falling though the air that means your terminal velocity will be around 120 or 130 miles-per-hour. That IS a lot. That's the reason sky divers wear parachutes, because nobody could survive a fall traveling at 120 or so miles-per-hour. That is unless you're the woman in today's story. The woman, whose name was not released, was skydiving in Quebec when her main and backup parachutes failed to open. She plummeted into a wooded area and miraculously survived! She is in the hospital with several fractures, including broken vertebrae, but police said her life isn't in danger. Denis Demers, who saw the incident play out, told local news that the solo skydiver was falling faster than anybody else. "It's a miracle," Demers said. "I don't know how a person can survive a fall from an airplane like that." Police said the woman had experience skydiving. An investigation is underway to determine whether it is a case of criminal negligence. Skydiving injuries are rare. In the US, the United States Parachute Association says, there was approximately 1 injury out of every 1,536 skydives in 2018. -<>- Police in Colorado said a bear that broke into a home left in the style of the Kool-Aid Man by bursting out through a wall when officers arrived. The Estes Park Police Department said officers responded to a report of a bear inside a residence. Police said the bear had apparently been drawn into the home by the "scent of refuse." "Upon officer's arrival, said bear forcibly breached a hole in the wall like the 'Kool-Aid Man' and made its escape," police wrote. The beverage mascot is famous for crashing through walls while uttering the catchphrase, "Oh yeah!" Police reminded residents and visitors to keep all doors and windows firmly closed and locked on their homes and vehicles. *--- Missing Dentures Found Lodged in Throat ---* Doctors at a British hospital said a man whose dentures were missing after a surgical procedure was scanned with an X-ray eight days later and they were found lodged in his throat. Dr. Harriet Cunniffe of James Paget Hospital in Norfolk, England, wrote in the British Medical Journal that the 72-year-old patient returned to the hospital six days after surgery to remove a lump in his abdominal wall complaining of difficulties breathing and swallowing. An X-ray revealed the man's false teeth, which had been missing since his surgery, were lodged in his throat, causing internal blistering and swelling. The man underwent surgery to remove the false teeth and was released from the hospital again six days later. The doctors wrote that the case highlights the risks of leaving dentures in during the administering of anesthesia. That's nationalized medicine for you. *--- Pranksters Leave Old TVs on Virginia Porches ---* Residents of a Virginia neighborhood were left scratching their heads when unknown pranksters wearing what appeared to be TVs on their heads left vintage TVs on local porches. Neighbors in the Glen Allen neighborhood said their door- bell cameras recorded what appeared to be a person wearing a television on their head leaving vintage TVs on their porches. Police said they believe the mysterious figure was several different people, as more than 50 TVs were left on various porches. Police urged residents who spot suspicious activity to contact investigators, but it was unclear whether any crime had been committed. Some residents said a similar prank occurred about a year ago, when about 20 TVs were left on various porches. The perpetrators were not caught on camera during that incident. *--- As If Old TV Sets Weren't Bad Enough ---* Authorities in Missouri are investigating after residents reported finding creepy dolls posed in odd locations around a county. Residents of Jefferson County said the dolls have been discovered posed in strange locations that sometimes lead them to initially be confused for children. "When we found this one, it was laying in front of our building. We picked it up and it was the doll, they've been hanging on top of stop signs, laying in front of the license office," Angela Ravellette told local news. Police said they have received calls about the dolls, some of which were found without heads. Festus Police Chief Tim Lewis said the dolls appear to be a prank, but authorities are concerned they could lead to unintentional injury. *--- Man Sells Old Shoes for $50,000 ---* This is the kind of story that makes you wonder what you have lying around your attic. A California man got $50,000 for his "funky, old shoes" that happened to be a pair of extremely rare prototype Nike running shoes from 1972. Dave Russell of Sacramento said the shoes, now known as the Nike Waffle Racing Moon Shoes, were given to him at age 25 when he participated in the 1972 Olympic trials in Eugene, Ore. Only 12 of the prototype shoes designed by Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman were ever made, and 10 were given to athletes trying out for the Olympic team. Russell said the shoes spent years in a box in his garage, next to the Christmas lights. He said he only decided to sell them a few months ago, and received an offer from The Graduate Eugene Hotel, which is building a Nike museum in Eugene. He said he knew the shoes were worth some money, but he was shocked to receive such a large sum for his "funky, old shoes." ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _____ / \ Hmmm...where did I see (____/\ ) that toilet roll? ...... |___ U?(____ _\L. | \ ___ / /"""\ /.-' | |\ | ( / _/u | \___|_)_| \| \\ / / \_(___ __) | \\ / / | | | | ) _/ / ) | | _\__/.-' /___( | | _/ __________/ \ | | // / ( ) | | ( \__|___\ \______ /__|____| \ (___\ |______)_/ \ |\ \ \ / \ | \__ ) )___/ \ \ )/ /__( ___ | /_//___| \_________ _/ ( / OUuuu \ `----'(____________) >Random thoughts that I just had... I surprise myself sometimes: - If you carpeted the inside of your van, would you get a lot of static for it? - If you hoard mortar on the border does that make you a Mortar Border Hoarder? - Here's a great name for a sporting goods store: "Balls, Sticks, and Jocks!" - Common sense is not too common. Neither is common courtesy. Or common knowledge. - When a monkey or turkey dies do they then become skeleton keys? - I don't know karate, but I know ka-razy! -<>- >The Worst Book Ever! A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her. "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked, "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." -<>- , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. >Shut Up, Trouble and Manners There once were these three guys: Shut Up, Trouble and Manners. Trouble got lost so Shut Up and Manners went to the police station. Manners stayed in the car while Shut Up went in. He told the police officer what happened and he asked, "What's your name?" "Shut Up." "Where are your Manners?" "Waiting in the car." "Are you looking for Trouble?" "Yes! How did you know?" -<>- >Noticed Your Eyes A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?" -<>- >A Man and His Dog A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around." -<>- >Q and A Quickies: Q: How does a physicist exercise? A: By pumping ion! Q: Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? A: Because education pays off in the long run! ,. (_|,. ,' /, )_______ _ __j o``-' `.'-)' (") \' `-j | `-._( / hjw |_\ |--^. / /_]'|_| /_)_/ /_]' /_]' Q: Why did the three little pigs leave home? A: Their father was an awful boar. Q: What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear? A: Ferry tales! Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly? A: In the hare force. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don't worry I've got you covered! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb The other night the wife was flipping through channels when suddenly she said, "Oooo! I wanted to see this, and it just started, too." "What is it?" I asked. "You'll love it. It's a dog movie. It's all about this dog that gets reincarnated." It turns out the movie was called 'The Purpose of a Dog's Life' or something similar, and yeah, I've been known to sit through fun-loving, heart-warming movies about animals and pets, so I gave it a whirl. The movie is about a little boy growing up in a family dominated by a clinically depressed, emotionally abusive, alcoholic father. And it goes downhill from there. In short order the kid adopts a dog and the movie quick jumps through a few scenes of what it's like growing up with a beloved canine companion, until the kid, now a teenager, is abandoned by his father, becomes homeless with his mother after their house burns down, is forced to abandon a college scholarship, and breaks up with his high school sweetheart. Then the dog dies. That's a lot for the first 15 minutes of a movie. But like the wife said, the dog is reincarnated as a completely different dog, gets adopted by someone else, and after a few scenes dies again. This happens over and over again. It's 100 solid minutes of dogs dying. It's not so much a movie for dog lovers as it is for sadists. I haven't seen a movie this depressing since 'Schindler's List'. And you don't get any of that in the previews. I can just imagine some mother watching the trailer for the movie when it came out a couple years ago and deciding to take her 8 or 9-year-old son to see it. There are probably a million kids out there traumatized for life. I have to admit I couldn't bear to finish it. I abandoned it after the third (or was it the fourth?) dog death and went to bed. The next day the wife asked me if I wanted to know how the movie ended. "No," I said. "No I don't." -<>- / / /____________________ |________ __________ /_____ /|| | |".___."| || | |_______|/ | | || .___."|| / ||_______|| / |_________|/ A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye." -<>- ____ _/____]__ |_v'_]"__"] (PS) `UJ-uJ--uJ The daughter asks her father, "Dad, there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't understand. He is sooooo in to his cars and said that 'I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper.'" Her dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil, I will tighten his lug nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking oil out of his exhaust pipe." -<>- The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking." -<>- A customer at a coffee shop was clearly peeved by the text message he'd just received. "You ever have that ex-girlfriend who just won't go away?" he asked his friend. "Yeah," came the reply. "My wife." -<>- Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars." "I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?" "Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear." "Well, you can't be disappointed with that!" "Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars." "Incredible... so how come you look so glum?" "Well, this week...nothing!" -<>- ______________________________ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * _____ ______________ | | || | | | || | | |______||______| | | || | ()| | || | | |______||______| | /______________/ | __((())__ _____|___________|_))- -((_|__ | ((\-/)) | | /\~V~/\ | |//(_ _)\\| /// \ / \\\ %%%% /_\)_/ \_(/_\ (\%%%oo | |_/_____\_| | \%%%o/ | | \ \\ \ | | \/~~\ | | / // / | | / /____\|_|_/_//_/__|_| / |||| \_)\_) / (_)(_) >Signs of the times SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE: "We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you." Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ,---,_ , _> `'-. .--'/ .--'` ._ `/ <_ >,-' ._'.. ..__ . ' '-. .-' .'` `'. '. > / >`-. .-'< \ , '._\ / ; '-._> <_.-' ; '._> `> ,/ /___\ /___\ \_ / `.-|(| \o_/ \o_/ |)|` jgs \; \ ;/ \ .-, )-. / /` .'-'. `\ ;_.-`.___.'-.; >Think you know everything...? The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. The words 'race car,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. There are more chickens than people in the world. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous (these others are not 'really' words - arthropodous, gastropodous, and myriapodous) There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself. now you know everything! -<>- __,...__ _,-'::::::::`-. ,'::,----._::::::`. ,'::,' /\,-. \:::::::`. /::::| ; | |:::::::::`. |:::::`._ \ |:::::::::::\ __\,:--''--`_--':::::::::::::\ `'--::__:::::::`-:_:::::::::::::\ /--.`'--:_:::::`-::::::::::::\ /,-_.' _`-:_::::`:::::::::::\ / /o\| ,-_`-.`--:::`::::::::::) || \_/| / /o\\ `:,'''-:' (#__`-_/ | \_/| /##| ,-.\ ,'' `-. `.__/ ,'###| / || / \ , (##### / || | |___,-##\ /##/ \__,'/ \ /########) |#,'|__..-' `-..__..-'######) / \`.###'`""' / \\\__// ,' \`--' _,-' jrei `-..___..--'' >All About Computers 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do. --Murphy's Laws of Computing -<>- _ _,-"" ""-._ ,-' `-. ,' `. ,' `. ,' `. / \ / Y O U D O N ' T K N O W \ / ___ \ : | /| / \ | / : : | / | | | / : : | /__| | |/\ : : | / | | | \ : : .__/ / | \___/ | \ : | | | | | ..::::::.. ..::::::.. | ,-. | .::"'____ """ """ ____`"::. | ,-. |\ \| .' `8P`-. .'`8P `. |/ /| |/\ | `-____-' : : `-___-' | /\| || \| : : |/ || ||_|| : : ||_|| 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888[dd]888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 >Men are from Sears, Women Are From Saks... Just so everyone has a better understanding, I believe that, in general, women are saner than men. For example: If you see people who have paid good money to stand in an outdoor stadium on a freezing December day wearing nothing on the upper halves of their bodies except paint, those people will be male. Without males, there would be no such sport as professional lawn mower racing. Also, there would be a 100 percent decline in the annual number of deaths related to efforts to shoot beer cans off of heads. Also, if women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be no war. I sincerely believe this -- virtually no military conflicts, and if there were a military conflict, everyone involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of thoughtful notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon (which would be salads, with the dressing on the side). So, I sincerely believe that women are wiser than men, with the exception of one key area, and that area is clothing sizes. In this particular area, women are insane. When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man will try on a pair of pants, and if those pants are too small, he'll try on a larger pair, and when he finds a pair that fits, he buys them. Most men do not spend a lot of time fretting about the size of their pants. Many men wear jeans with the size printed right on the back label, so that if you're standing behind a man in a supermarket line, you can read his waist and inseam size. A man could have, say, a 52-inch waist and a 30- inch inseam, and his label will proudly display this information, which is basically the same thing as having a sign that says: "Howdy! My rear is the size of a Federal Express truck!" The situation is very different with women. When a woman shops for clothes, her primary objective is NOT to find clothes that fit her particular body. She would like for that to be the case, but her primary objective is to purchase clothes that are the size she wore when she was 19-years-old. This will be some arbitrary number such as "8" or "10." Don't ask me "8" or "10" of what; that question has baffled scientists for centuries. All I know is that if a woman was a size 8 at age 19, she wants to be a size 8 now, and if a size 8 outfit does not fit her, she will not move on to a larger size: She can't! Her size is 8! So she will keep on trying on size 8 items, and unless they start fitting her, she will become extremely unhappy. She may take this unhappiness out on her husband, who is waiting patiently in the mall, perhaps browsing in the Sharper Image store, trying to think of how he could justify purchasing a pair of night-vision binoculars. "Hi!" he'll say, when his wife finds him, "You know how sometimes the electricity goes out at night and..." "Am I fat?" she'll ask, cutting him off. This is a very bad situation for the man, because if he answers "yes," she'll be angry because he's saying that she's fat, and if he answers "no," she'll be angry because HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING BECAUSE NONE OF THE SIZE 8's FIT HER. There is no escape for the husband. I think a lot of unexplained disappearances occur because guys in malls see their wives unsuccessfully trying on outfits, and they realize their lives will be easier if, before their wives come out and demand to know whether they're fat, the guys just run off and join a UFO cult. Here's how you could get rich: Start a women's clothing store called "SIZE 2," in which all garments, including those that were originally intended to be restaurant awnings, had labels with the words "SIZE 2." I'll bet you'd sell clothes like crazy. You'd probably get rich, and you could retire, maybe take up some philanthropic activity to benefit humanity. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Shopping With Men!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html Amazing Gibraltar Airport!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/airroad.html Cute Squirrels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/squirrels.html Boing 727 Suite!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/727suite.html Dominic And Jobe- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobe.html Witty Comebacks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html Stainless VS Gold!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stainlesscar.html IRONIC Isn't It 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony2.html Humor With Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carhumor.html Liberty Air Show!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Morons at Work 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork3.html Why Me? Moments!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html Life's Little Oops 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html USA Of Crazy Laws!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html Book Sculpture Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookart.htm Gem Wire Tree Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wiretree.html Awesome Tree Houses!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses.html Breathtaking Photos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/breathtaking.html God's Most Beautiful!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html 86 Year Old Grandma Gymnast!- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/grandmagymnast.html SUMMER INDEX! https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- Senior Olympic Synchronized Swimming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eR11SE0RA0 Helmet Camera Captures the Most Incredible Firefighter Rescue http://tinyurl.com/7d5uafa This Moment Robin Williams Shared With Koko Is Beautiful. His Gift of Laughter Will Be Missed. http://tinyurl.com/nsz739z 19 Great Trash to Treasure Crafts http://tinyurl.com/qh8wwk3 WING SUITER MEETS HIS MAKER http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Steve Martin's Great Flydini Amazing Magic Tricks on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show 1992 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=s9xKU8eYCFk The Sea's Strangest Creatures!!! Under the waters around Lembeh, Indonesia, there is a square mile of ocean that is filled with very strange, very predatory life forms. From giant worms to frog fish, watch in horrified fascination as these remarkable creatures hunt their meals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hed1JYcGJd4 Technology has changed dramatically over the last several decades so younger people might not recognize some of the things in this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoDXTAajEzY --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the age of 18 should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons should be banned from parenting." -Jimmy Fallon "In Virginia someone broke into a man's apartment, cleaned it, and took nothing. Completely cleaned the place. Police are describing the suspect as his mother." -Conan O'Brien "According to a new report, by 2050, the world's oceans will contain more plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember: There's plenty of trash in the sea." -Seth Meyers "According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and healthier - and people who live in trees make more cookies." -Seth Meyers "Wal-Mart is testing out an app that would allow shoppers to skip the checkout line. Currently that service is known as shoplifting." -Conan O'Brien "Brace yourself, because Kraft has announced that they've gone natural. I first assumed that natural meant they were doing their products in the buff. But they mean they have removed all artificial preservatives, flavors, and dyes from their classic Mac and Cheese recipe. I don't get it. I was not aware, first of all, that a packet of orange dust was a technically a recipe." -Stephen Colbert "A resort in Mexico has opened the first underwater bar. Shortly afterwards it became host to the world's slowest bar fight ever." -Conan O'Brien "Taco Bell announced it will begin selling a potato-rito, which is beef, cheese, potatoes, and chipotle spice wrapped in a tortilla for $1. Or, for the same nutritional value, just eat the dollar." -Seth Meyers "Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name. His real name is Vehicle Identification Number." -Jimmy Kimmel Stand outside & look up at the night sky, and what you're seeing is the makings of a junkyard. You laugh. The men thinks I'm joking. About satellites, I never joke. There are nearly ten thousand manmade objects up there orbiting this little planet of ours. More than three thousand of those objects are satellites, operative and inoperative, plus garbage you wouldn't believe. Up there, we get nosecone shrouds, lens covers, hatch covers, rocket bodies, payloads that have exploded, junk the astronauts or cosmonauts threw out or forgot. All sorts of stuff. - From the book Twelve Mile Limit >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************