A Wadded Napkin And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* HELP! We NEED 2009 Angels for the Web Site! >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is appreciated - even just 5 dollars! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! GOD'S MOST ABUNDANT BLESSINGS TO YOU! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News: I've gotten a bit of spring fever and worked on sprucing up some older pages on the website. This took longer then I thought, but I think they are more efficient now. >-->We got forwards of some Funny Videos... _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >From Our Friend Viv: Romantic Dinner Concert Hospital Brownie >From Our Friend Sandi: Simon Sez I uploaded these files to our group. You can view each of these here: Just click on it's file name http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ --- ...Hilarious! Thanks Ladies! -<>- >Two are Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press... This first one comes from our friend Viv. I am fascinated by the unique view and talent of these artists! They are so amazing! Check out this new page here... /~\ | / ~\o_____(| (|: u|) | ----)| \ _/o~~~~~(| \_/ Boy Chalk Art 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart3.html --- ...Thank You Viv! Paul and I loved This! This second one comes from our friend Jo Ann. I was amazed at this one and did a little research adding some to it. I had fun being able to add my fav pop artist to it too! Be sure to check it out here... ______________________________________________________ | -- = .. = -- = .. = -- = .. = -- = .. = -- | | == .' '. == .' '. == .' '. == .' '. == | |`-==-` `-==-` `-==-` `-==-` `-==-`| | ** ** ** ** | | ** ** ** ** ** | | ** ** ** ** | | ** _ ** _____ _____ _ ** ** | | ** / \ _) ( ) (_**/ \ ** | | ** /___\) (__) (/___\** ** | | ** |) _____ _____ (| ** | | ** _)| (_____)(_____) |(_** ** | |lc_______)__|____%%%%%%%%%%%%%%____|__(_______________| _|_ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% _|_ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% /zzzzzzzz%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%zzzzzzzzz\ /zzzzzzzz/||||||||||||||||||||||\zzzzzzzzz\ /zzzzzzzzz||||||||||||||||||||||||zzzzzzzzzz\ /zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz\ /zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz\ /zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz\ Expensive Hotel Rooms http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html --- ...A Great one! Thank You Jo Ann! ========================================================== >-->From FunnyBone [edited] .:'""""':. __ // \\_..-'' \ || |_ | ANAGRAMS \\ // ''-..__/ jgs ':.____.:' `""""` Word - When you rearrange the letters -------------------------------------------------------- Motley Crue: Me Cruel Toy Bob Marley: Marble Boy William Shakespeare: I'll make a wise phrase Jay Leno: Enjoy L.A. Gene Simmons: Immense Song Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler The Morse Code = Here Come Dots Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort John Mayer = Enjoy harm Belgium = Big mule The eyes = They see Barbie doll = Liberal bod George Bush = He bugs Gore Waitress = A stew, Sir? Guinness draught = naughtiness drug The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice Apple Products = Support Placed Western Union = No Wire Unsent Bruce Springsteen = Creep brings tunes Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter vegetarian = ate in grave graduation = out in a drag Dick Cheney = Needy Chick Debit card = Bad credit A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans Achievements = Nice, save them Clothespins = So Let's Pinch Christine = Nice Shirt Spice Girls = Pig Slices The Cincinnati Reds = Indecent Christian Dormitory = Dirty Room Confessional = On scale of sin David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV Princess Diana = end is a car spin Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free =========================================================== +-------------------- Bizarre Language --------------------+ TRIVIA The word "bozo" derives from the French slang term "bouseaux" (meaning "hick, peasant, or yokel"). However, bouseaux literally means "cow turds." Gay men who successfully joined the British Navy used to be called "reverse malingerers." A Boy Scout who forcibly helps an old lady across the street is called an officious interloper. Ask any lawyer. The Greeks had a word that meant "with armpits smelling like a he-goat." The term for when dogs scratch their butts by dragging them across the floor is called "sleigh riding." The expression "paddy wagon" is derived from a derogatory reference to picking up drunk Irish people. ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) >I thought THIS might be interesting to you; __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? (ever noticed this?) John 20:7 tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not thrown aside like the grave clothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded and was placed at the head of that stony coffin. Early that Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter, and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, "They have taken the Lord's body and I don't know where they have taken Him!". Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the napkin that had covered Jesus face was folded up and lying to one side. Is that important? (It Absolutely Is really significant) In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about the Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition. When the Servant set the dinner table for the Master, he made sure it was exactly the way the Master wanted it. The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the Master had finished eating. The Servant would not dare touch that table until the Master was finished. If the Master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard and would `WAD` up that napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table. In those days, the wadded napkin meant, "I'm finished". If the Master got up from the table, and folded his napkin beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because The folded napkin meant, ~ "I'm coming back!"~. OH,YES! The `MASTER` is ~TRULY~ Coming Back! During this Holy season, I know WE are blessed with peace and joy in the knowledge that He IS coming back. YES!--YES!--YES! ~John-Paul~ --- ...Thank You John-Paul! Another good reason to study what is referred to as Orientalisms of the Bible. It opens up more vivid understanding for us! I certainly do love it! For More check out these... ORIENTALISMS PART 1! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/orientalisms1.html ORIENTALISMS PART 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/orientalisms2.html ORIENTALISMS PART 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/orientalisms3.html =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) , ,, , , ,; ; ;; ; ; ; , ; '; ; ;; .-''\ ; ; , ; ;` ; ,; . / /8b \ ; ; `; ; .;' ;,\8 | ; ; ` ;/ / `_ ; ;; ; ; ; |/.' /9) ; ; ` ; ; ; ,/' ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; /_ ; ; ` ; ; `?8P" . ; ; ; ; ; ; ;; | ; .:: ` ;; ; ; ` ; ; `' `--._ ;; ;; ; ; ; ; `-..__..--'' ; ; ;; ; ; ; fL ; ; ; ; ; ; Top Images for 2008 http://tinyurl.com/c3bb4d --- ...Thanks Viv! These were great! I don't have power point but found this on the web. -<>- Two Al-Quida spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S. The first spy starts speaking in Arabic. The second spy shushes him quickly and whisper's 'Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish Amigo!.' --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Viv! -<>- \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >A Military.com shocking video I sure recommend you watch the little video and draw your own conclusions. Be sure to watch the video at the web page below. Terrorist Training Camps in the US The Spread of Homegrown Terrorists - Islamic training camps in America's back yard. Why are these communities left to flourish in the US? http://shock.military.com/Shock/videos.do?displayContent=185279&page=1 --- ...Scary! Thank you Viv! Pray with me: Dear God Almighty, I ask that you please prosper all plots and plans of those around the world that are according to your good Word and Will. Likewise, dear Father God, foil all plots and plans of those against your will. Your Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven now and forever. Thank you Father, Through Christ Jesus, I pray, Amen. -<>- \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >A Pittance of time... God Bless the Veterans http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYlrrAWCTRg --- ...Sweet! Thank you! Viv If you haven't already, be sure to check out and PASS On our newest page... MILITARY MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/military.html ======================================================== >-->From Arcamax: Contempt Fine A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day. "What for?" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!" Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words." -<>- Selling a Policy A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need any one," they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime any thing." "We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone for about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for a $80,000 policy and another for a $50,000 policy. "How in the world did you do that," they asked. "I told you I'm the world's best salesman, I can sell anyone anywhere anytime." "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "Why's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $40,000 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." He was gone for about eight hours and then he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. Brown's and this one is Mr. Smith's." "That's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention and I sold them a group policy!" -<>- `, ___ # /_,/\ |/ ? /" ( | , )\ .Y___ / /__/\ \____ \(__ ,- / \_/ \ / (\ |/| / < _____ _> \ |. ||\ -|.|--/___/ ,___/___\------'-----' '-' |\/ b'ger Big Tip A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying." -<>- Sick Man Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!" To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ============================================================== >-->In The WorldlyNews: >From LifeScript: 5 Women's Heart Health Myths About 450,000 women suffer heart attacks each year; in fact, cardiovascular disease is the No. 1 killer in the U.S. Read up on 5 heart health myths that put women at risk. Plus, are you on the road to a heart attack? Take our quiz and find out… http://tinyurl.com/dl2x8a >From Military.com: Veterans Report: Obama Drops Vet Insurance Plan http://tinyurl.com/dyoglb Guide to Getting Credit for Military Service http://tinyurl.com/dk3den 10 Tax Tips for Veterans http://tinyurl.com/dcnyar >From OneNewsNow: Obama budget dooms next generation http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=459442 >From AFA: Obama's budget out of control According to the Associated Press, CBO says President Obama's budget would produce $9.3 trillion in additional debt (four times the deficits of ex-president George Bush). Click here for article. http://tinyurl.com/cqqlsl Obama is quickly leading us into socialism. We currently have people in 1000 cities organizing for the TEA Party Day Rally April 15. Help us grow that number to 1,500! Our country faces a grave danger. Our elected officials in Washington are leading us down an unwise path. We need to act now to stop this situation. I’m writing asking you to help us and also to motivate others to get involved. AFA and other groups have called for a day of TEA (Taxed enough Already) Party rallies across the U.S. on April 15, including one at noon in front of the city hall in your community. Get with a few friends and go to the rally. Take Action! I urge you to please support this movement. Please support, attend and/or help organize a TEA Party rally in your community. Please encourage others to do the same. I ask one special favor. If a radio station in your community has a talk show, would you call the host and ask him or her to sponsor the TEA Party rally in your community. Thanks so very much. Please forward this information to others. Click here for information on TEA Party rallies. http://www.teapartyday.com/ -<>- >From Grassfire: Say “NO!” To The Obama Budget With $1.6 Trillion In New Taxes! http://tinyurl.com/ce3f82 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Driver spends wedding night in slammer ---------- HOUSTON - A Houston man was arrested for drunken driving and spent the night in jail after he was pulled over follow- ing his own wedding reception, records show. Harris County criminal records state that Billy Puckett, 26, had just left his wedding reception with his new bride when he was pulled over during a drunken driving crackdown by local law enforcement and the Harris County District Attorney's Office, the Houston Chronicle reported. Puckett was charged Sunday with driving while intoxicated and was released after posting $500 bail. Friends of the couple said the new bride was also detained by police but it was unclear whether she was charged with any crime, the Chronicle said. Attorney Joe Gutheinz, who has been friends with Puckett for 10 years, told the Chronicle that while he believes drunken driving laws should be enforced, he thinks the police showed a lack of discretion by arresting Puckett. "If it were a police officer and his new bride or a judge and his new bride, they would have put them in a taxi and sent them home," said Gutheinz, who teaches criminal justice courses and police science classes for Alvin Community College and the University of Phoenix Graduate Court system. -- Man smuggled wife in speaker box ------------- BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Authorities say a Fort Worth, Texas, man was charged after customs officials allegedly found his Mexican wife hiding in a speaker box in their car's back seat. Customs officers "routinely find narcotics hidden in a vehicle but in this case, it was the driver's wife," Michael Freeman, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, said to the San Antonio Express-News. Christopher Sean Protho, 36, was charged with alien smuggling after his arrest Sunday at the Brownsville and Matamoros International Bridge, the Express-News reported Tuesday. Protho's wife, 33, from Matamoros, didn't have immigration papers to enter the United States and is in federal custody pending deportation proceedings, Freeman told the newspaper. __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' -- Police: Robbers robbed while fleeing ----------- MILWAUKEE, Wash. - Milwaukee police said a pair of unlucky alleged robbers were targeted by another group of thieves as they fled from a jewelry store. Lt. Thomas Welch said two men, ages 31 and 40, took money and jewelry from the store on the south side of the city at about 10:50 a.m. Wednesday while armed with at least one handgun, and were confronted by a group of four men as they attempted to flee, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reported. Welch said the four men robbed the two original robbers, sparking a fight that turned into a car chase. He said the two men who allegedly robbed the jewelry store and two men from the second group, ages 22 and 27, were arrested. The money and jewelry were not recovered and police were searching for additional suspects. He said investigators were look- ing into whether the two groups of men knew each other prior to the incident. -- Speeder fined despite sneezing defense ---------- DEREHAM, England - A former police officer must pay a fine for speeding on his motorcycle despite claiming his actions were caused by a sneeze, a British magistrate says. Magistrate Margaret Oechsle fined Donald Johnstone, 62, $223 for going 10 miles above the speed limit in a 30 mph zone in the county of Norfolk last May, The Mirror said. "You accept your speed increased and with any speed over 31 mph our sentencing guidelines come into play," said Oechsle, who also hit Johnstone with $167 in court costs. Johnstone had tried to explain away his speeding indiscretion by blaming it on a fit of sneezing he endured while motorcycling. "My sneezes tend to be extremely violent," he told the court. "And I accept that my speed must have increased because of the movement of my hands." The Mirror said just in case his sneezing defense fell short, Johnstone also claimed the camera that caught him speeding wasn't set at the right angle. ========================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: _____ /~/~ ~\ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ \ --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, ''"'',,}{,, Back From the Grave An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down. -<>- Bob Hope once said, "Today my heart beat 103,369 times, my blood traveled 168 million miles, I breathed 23,400 times, I inhaled 438 cubic feet of air, I ate 3 pounds of food, drank 2.9 pounds of liquid, I perspired 1.43 pints, I gave off 85.3 degrees of heat, I generated 450 tons of energy, I spoke 4,800 words, I moved 750 major muscles, my nails grew .01714 inches, and I exercised 7 million brain cells. "Gee, but I'm tired." -<>- ,---. o-/ \_/ \ (_,)_/_\_/) ,-"""-. oo._/ \___/ \ (____)_/___\__\_) /_// \\_\ unknown A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open. "Where are the tortoises?" he asked. "I can't believe it," said the new employee, "I just opened the door and whooooosh, they were gone!" -<>- .-~~\ / \ _ ~x .-~_)_ ~x".-~ ~-. _ ( / \ _ || T o o Y || ==:l l < ! I;== \\ \ .__/ / // \\ ,r"-,___.-'r.// }^ \.( ) _.'//. / }~Xi--~ // \ Y Y I\ \ " Y | | |o\ \ | | l_l Y T | -Row l "o l_j ! \ / ___,.---^. o .^---.._____ "~~~ " ~ ~~~" All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman... --It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy. --Hold your ground, even when the heat is on. --Wearing white is always appropriate. --Winter is the best of the four seasons. --It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection. --There's nothing better than a foul weather friend. --We're all made up of mostly water. --You know you've made it when they write a song about you. --Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize! --Avoid yellow snow. --Don't get too much sun. --It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet. --It's fun to hang out in your front yard. --Always put your best foot forward. --There's no stopping you once you're on a roll. -<>- .-"""-. / \ \ / .-"""-.-`.-.-.< _ / _,-\ ()()_/:) \ / , ` `| '-..-| \-.,___, / \ `-.__/ / jgs / `-.__.-\` / /| ___\ ( ( |.-"` `'\ \ \/ {}{} | \| / \ , / ( __`;-;'__`) `//'` `||` _// || .-"-._,(__) .(__).-""-. / \ / \ \ / \ / `'-------` `--------'` ~ "At Least One Friend" ~ An old man turned to me and asked, "How many friends have you?" "Why, ten or twenty friends have I," And I named off just a few. He smiled a knowing smile at me And sadly shook his head. "How lucky you must be To have so many friends," he said. "But think of what you're saying. There's so much that you don't know! A friend is just not someone To whom you say "Hello"!" "A friend's a tender shoulder On which to softly cry, A well to pour your troubles down And raise your spirits high. A friend's a hand to pull you up From darkness and despair, When all your other so-called "friends" Have helped to put you there! A true friend is an ally Who can't be moved or bought, A voice to keep your name alive When others have forgot. But most of all a friend's a heart, A strong and sturdy wall, For from the hearts of friends there comes The greatest love of all! So think of what I've spoken, For every word is true. And answer once again, my child, How many friends have you?" And then he stood and faced me, Awaiting my reply. I smiled at him and answered, "At least ONE friend have I!" Thanks for being MY FRIEND! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at engineering university. I worked repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxyacetylene torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it. "So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked. "Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter." There was a long pause, then his face cleared. "You know, I always wondered about that," he said. -<>- Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?" -<>- ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) Every morning, I do a mad dash to drop off my son Tyler at day care so I can get to work on time. My impatience hit home one morning when he piped up from the back of the car, "Our car is really fast and everyone else's is slow because they're all idiots, right, Mom?" -<>- The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?" "No," I replied. "Would you like to consolidate all your debts?" "I really don't have any," I said. "How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried. "I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried. There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?" -<>- On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son. "You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon." -<>- When it comes to wine I'm very particular about what I buy. There are two things I look for before making my selection. First, the word "Wine" must appear somewhere on the label. This is something I insist on. Second, I look for a sign nearby that says "On Sale." Follow these two rules and you won't go far wrong. ========================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: ** Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ** We waste time, so you don't have to. ** What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? ** What do they use to ship Styrofoam? ** What do you call a chicken that is afraid? ** Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? ** You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. ** The world's full of apathy, but I don't care. ** There's no such thing as non-existence. ** There's no future in time travel. ** The world is full of willing people: Some willing to work and some willing to let them. ** There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know. ** There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation. ** There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing. ** To err is human, to moo bovine. ** To vacillate or not to vacillate. That is the question. Or is it? -<>- `!, -( )- /'|\` / | \ ` // /// ### /[_] ##### [][ #{##{#### o~ [_] ###\#}#}### /`\ [][ ###\{/### [ /%\ [_] # }}{ # [_|_\_[][ ### }}{ [_][__] #\#}#} }}{@ @ [___][] ##\/## }}{|@@|/ [_][__] ,ejm,,,,}{,,,}{{||||_______[___][] ** Intelligence Test ** Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. Though both of them found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Robert. "I thought it was tough at first.... then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist." -<>- ** What Is Snow ** ** For Several days now I have heard from friends in the South that are facing a cold front and that four letter word SNOW. Many have not seen the stuff except on TV and no nothing of the terminology so here it is TEXAS style. ** Snow: white fluffy crystals of water and toxic matter. Snow Man: made from snow, assembly required. Snow Showers.: light snowfall Scattered Snow Showers: Falls on your yard but not the neighbors. Snow Flurries: Snow propelled by wind like in the movies. Blizzard : lots of snow real fast for days . Will fill a 16 oz. cup in seconds add sugar and M&Ms and save 2.49 at McDonalds. Hypothermia : lowering of the body's core temperature to the point where you start writing jokelists 12 months of the year. May lead to death if you aren't thawed out occasionally Now everyone knows why Doc Chuck shared all the survival stories with you. We have it on good authority that this will be a mini Ice Age and soon you will be able to ice skate all over the swamps of the South and Hockey will become the sport of choice. So take a break, make a snow man, have a snowball fight, make a snow angel and read the Funnies. -<>- _,--" `-._ _______________ "---- _----'--'-----------------------------'--'----_ DB //_| | \ ===== ===== ===== ===== ===== / | |_\\ 103 (_____|_|__===== ===== ===== ===== =====__|_|_____) (1970) _\______=___________________________________=______/_ 200 km/h \/-(o)-~~-(o)-~~-(o)-`-----'-(o)-~~-(o)-~~-(o)-\/ 7780 kW ** The Trial and Verdict ** In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the Switchman insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. "Congratulations," the lawyer said to the switchman when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination." "Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried." "How's that?" the lawyer asked. "I was afraid he was going to ask if the darned lantern was lit!" -<>- ** Can He Get Away Wit It ** As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar order. He took the usual vows of poverty, chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest. One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420-YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who is he going to tell?" -<>- ** I'll Look To You In 2002 ** Another year has come and gone, This past one seemed to go so wrong, Terror, sorrow, pain and hate, Came down hard on our fair states. I pray as this year starts anew, We'll humble ourselves and look to You. Not only when we have a need, But in every aspect let You lead. Give us wisdom in all paths, And courage to change where we have lacked. Help us for Jesus to make our stand, For only He can heal our land. Give our leaders a vision of the truth, And the courage to make bold and mighty moves. To go back and see where mistakes were made, And set this country back to whence it came. Its not a matter of "Church and State," This mighty country You did create, And if they do not let You lead, This great land we love will not succeed. So Lord I humbly pray to you, And seek Your Wisdom for 2002. I am but one and feel so small, But unto You I pledge my all. Help me to do all that I can, As for You I boldly stand, And never fail to look to You, Guide me through this year, 2002 ~~~~~~~R. Humphress~~~~~~~~ --- ... add to update the above... 2002 is now gone and past Here I am at 2009 at last May the above be true today Dear sweet God to you I humbly pray. -<>- '."""""""""""""""""`. `. ... `. `. /@ `. `. .'"":_ :"""""".'| .'//)/) ` (/)/)).' | .'/)_/"" __ ""\.' ^ | |"""(((""""((("""| | | | "" "" | U | | | High Quality | P .' | Bananas | .' | | .' | |' """""""""""""""" ** Why I Don't Buy Green Bananas ** Approaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs. Lipkowitz finally decided it was time to give up her apartment in New York and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at. "And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized, "the investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten years it's gonna be worth three times..." "Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Lipkowitz, "at my age I don't even buy green bananas! -<>- ** I'm Blind But Not Deaf ** A young officer was blinded, apparently in one of the world wars. While convalescing, he was cared for by a nurse with whom he fell in love and later married. One day he overheard some people talking about him and his wife. The cruel conversation went like this, "Lucky for her he is blind. He probably would never have married such a homely woman if he had had eyes." Walking toward the voices, he said, "I happened to overhear what you said, and I thank God from the depths of my heart for the blindness that might have kept me from seeing the marvelous worth of the soul of this woman who is my wife. She had the most noble character I have ever known. If the conformation of her features is such that it might have masked her inward beauty, then I am the great gainer for having lost my sight." By Donald Grey Barnhouse, Let Me Illustrate -<>- ** Nerds ** "A five-year-old daughter was explaining how the brain works, by making other parts of your body move. The mother asked her how the messages travel down the spinal cord, and she explained that there are nerds in there that carry the messages." Source: Heart Touchers, http://storiesfrommyheart.com/home_page -<>- ** Camping Tips ** When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants. Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire. When smoking a fish, never inhale. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes. While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. -<>- ** Grading Yourself ** A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. "I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course." There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance." One final student rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those still remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves," he said. "You all get 'A's." =========================================================== >-->Fun Places To Net Visit... >From Our Friend Wesley :) Ironman vs Bruce Lee http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8qak3 Free Clipart http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/ Best Movie Mistakes http://www.moviemistakes.com/best.php The Loftcube Project http://www.loftcube.net/ Free Online Language Courses http://www.word2word.com/coursead.html --- ...Interesting ones! Thank You Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Marlene/He's Alive http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML9/Hes-Alive.html The Land That Made Me http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/THELANDTHATMADEMEME.HTML Carol w/Goodbye, My Love http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol19.html Dance Page http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sdp.html Amazing Air Cars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html Regis Motoneige http://www.buffaloschips.com/xdert.htm Regis Sautedu Bateau http://www.buffaloschips.com/grfd.htm Reining http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgdry.htm Remember http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgft8.htm Re Open 911 http://www.buffaloschips.com/6t6yu.htm Home Alone http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkjjkk.htm Home Security http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfdrdft.htm Hoppalas Turnen http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdrde.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I had the worst study habits in the history of college, until I found out what I was doing wrong -- highlighting with a black magic marker." -Jeff Altman "As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it." --Sam Ewing "Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kind of like being the guy on a date." --Caroline Rhea A bar in NYC is installing a breathalyzer. If your drunk, it advises you not to drive. If you're really, really drunk, it advises you not to call your old girlfriend. "This is the kind of thing that would bum out any young guy. I just found out my father lost his hair--in a slap fight." --Vernon Chatman "According to a Cosmo poll, 13 percent of all men admit they have tried on a bra. The sad part, 43 percent of American men actually need one." --Jay Leno "Kim Jong Il has demanded that North Korea open its first pizzeria. I would go to 'Papa Jong's.'" --Jimmy Fallon "There's a big push to make Saint Patrick's Day an official holiday. I think they should make the day after a holiday. 'Saint My-Head-Hurts Day,' or something." -Jimmy Kimmel "AIG, which has already received $170 billion in taxpayer money, paid $165 million dollars in bonuses. They say the bonuses were justified because the company made an extra $170 billion dollars last year." -Jay Leno When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself. ~~~~- Isak Dinesen I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.~~~~- Agatha Christie >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************