Action Speaks Louder Than Words... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! ,_ ,_ (\/) _, _, | '. '. \/ .' .' | \ \ \ / / / '.__\_|_ _|_/__.' /` '. .' `\ / ^ ) ( ^ \ / __.' '.__ \ .' (_ _) '. .' \'-._ _.-'/ '. / '.__)(__.' \ ; .-. '. .' .-. ; /`| / '._)(_.' \ |`\ | \ /--. .--\ / | '--'\ '-.__) (__.-' /'--' jgs )_____) (______( "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This too hot to handle new page comes from our friend Bunni. It is sure to touch your funny bone and give you plenty of smiles and chuckles. Check out this one here... __ / .-/-. |'-'| Let's Just Order Out | | | | .-""""-. \___/ /' . '. \ \|/\// (`-..:...-') |`""`| ;-......-; | | jgs '------' \____/ Humor With Cooking http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cookinghumor.html --- ...HaHa! I certainly can relate to some of these! Thanks Bunni! ======================================================= >-->Jokes And Riddles For Easter: __ __ | _'-._ _.-'_ | | '::. '. .' .::' | \ '::\ \ / /::' / \ ':\ | | /:' / '._ ` '---' ` _.' ) __ __ ( / / \ / \ \ / \_0/ \0_/ \ =/ .-. \= =| .' \_/ '. |= _ =\ ' | ' /= \`-._ '.__ `--'--` __.' /-_^-'-._ /` \_______/ `\ >-"=_=_-~_`=.,==,=| /==,==,=\ |.,_ \~- >_<_"-~-/ / /\,,,/ / / \,,,// /`"=._ <_"- ~-_>-"; ; _; _ ; ; ; ; ; _; _: / /`;=,__, /=~_->"-_~-; |_/ \| \| | | | |/ |/ \_ ; : ; _,=' >-"<^-^">_"; / \()()|; ; ; ; ;|()()/ \ \ _;="` \-_~-_>~-_.=\ \() _ | \ \ \ \ | ()/="` <,jgs_.-` `=\ / `\|==`==`==`==`=|/` \ / /_.-' \\ || || // \'-'/ \'-'/ `"` `"` Q: What is the bunny trying to say when he is leaping about? A: Hoppy Easter! Rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade aren't called hot, cross bunnies for nothing. A Sign The Easter bunny is nuts this year, the colorful eggs are now filled with Prozac. Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, 'Because people are sleeping?' It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from church with a baby-sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for. 'People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,' his father told him. 'Wouldn't you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up.' Q: How do angels greet each other at Easter? A: They say, 'Halo'. Q: Why did the angel lose her job? A: She had harp failure. Church notices: This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall. Music will follow... .-. .-. / \ / \ | _ \ / _ | ; | \ \ / / | ; \ \ \ \_.._/ / / / '. '.;' ';,' .' './ _ _ \.' .' a __ a '. '--./ _, \/ ,_ \.--' ----| \ /\ / |---- .--'\ '-' '-' /'--. _>.__ -- _.- `; .' _ __/ _/ / '.,:".-\ /:, | \.' `""`'.\\ '-,.__/ _ .-. ;|_ /` `|| _/ `\/_ \_|| `\ | ||/ \-./` \ / || | \ ||__/__|___|__|| / \_ |_Happy Easter_| / jgs .' \ = _= _ = _= /`\ / `-;----=--;--' \ \ _.-' '. / `""` `""` Q: What do you call a chocolate bunny that was out in the sun too long? A: A runny bunny. Q: Why did the Easter egg hide? A: He was a little chicken! Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A: A receding hareline. Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing at you. .===============================================================. | ,-----------------, | | /| HELP THE BUNNY |==========.===. .===. .===========. | || | FIND HIS | | | | | | .-. | E | || | EASTER EGGS! | |===| | | | | |..==./xxx\ | N | || |_________________| | | | /<<<<<\ || D | ||/_________________/ .=======' | . | \>>>>>/xxxx/--. | | | | | | | | | |`'==''---; * *`\ | | '===========' | |=======' | | | ,===. \* * */ | | | | | | | | '--'`| | '===============| '===. |===. | | |===' '=======| | | | | | | | | |===============. . '===| | |===| | .=======. | | | | | | | | | | | | .===========. | | |===. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | .===. | | |===. '===| | '===' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | '===' /`\ '===' | '===. | '===========| | | | | / : | | | | | | | | _.._=====| '/ '===| .=======' '===========. | | | | /` \ | / | | | | | | .-._ '-"` (=======. | .===============. | | '===. | |_/ |/ e e\==. | | | | | | | | | S || > @ )<| | | | .=======. | | |===. | | | T | \ '--`/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | A | / '--<` | | | | | | | | '===' | ' | | R || , \\ | | | | | | | | | T |; ; \\__'======. | | '===' | .===. | | | | / / |.__)==, | | | | | | | | | | (_/,--. ; //"""\\ | | '===========' | '===' | | | { `| \_/ ||___|| | | | | | | ;-\ / | |(___)| | '===========. | '=======. | | | | | / | |XXXXX| | | | | | | | | / \ '-,\XXXXX/ | .===========' '=======. | | | | | \__|----' `"""` | | | | | | | '===================' '=======================' '===' | | | '==jgs=='01=====================================================' Baptisms: After Easter, the North and South ends of the church will be utilised. Children will be baptised at both ends. Bible Study: Richard, my friend's little grandson came home from Sunday School and I asked him what they had studied. His reply was, 'Nothing.' So I asked him, 'Didn't you study Jesus?' Richard's reply was, 'No, he wasn't even there.' | \ / .---. '-. | | .-' ___| |___ -= [ ] =- `---. .---' __||__ | | __||__ '-..-' | | '-..-' || | | || ||_.-| |-,_|| .-"` `"`'` `"-. jgs .' '. Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 10 is Golfer's Day and National Siblings Day April 11 is Eight Track Tape Day, Barbershop Quartet Day and National Submarine Day April 12 is Big Wind Day, Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day, National Licorice Day, Russian Cosmonaut Day, and Walk on Your Wild Side Day April 13 is International Plant Appreciation Day, National Peach Cobbler Day and Scrabble Day April 14 is Good Friday, Look up at the Sky Day, National Dolphin Day, National Pecan Day and Reach as High as You Can Day April 15 is Husband Appreciation Day, Rubber Eraser Day and Titanic Remembrance Day April 16 is Easter Sunday, National Eggs Benedict Day and National Librarian Day April 17 is Bat Appreciation Day, Blah, Blah, Blah Day, Dyngus Day - always the Monday after Easter, National Cheeseball Day and Patriot's Day - third Monday of the month ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .=""=. / _ _ \ | d b | \ /\ / ,/'-=\/=-'\, / / \ \ | / \ | \/ \ / \/ '. .' jgs _|`~~`|_ /|\ /|\ >Names George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro." The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency. Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank." -<>- >Maple Leaf A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After he was sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case: "...and then she hit me with a maple leaf." "Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury?" said the lawyer. "Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table." -<>- >Cleaning Equipment When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater." -<>- >Sorry I'm Late Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy, grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech. "Mom, this is Susan, and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, OK?" Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake. "I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter named Susan." "Wow, Mom," the young woman's voice replied, "I didn't think you'd be this mad." -<>- >Term Paper There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other assignments. There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an "A" grade, "B" grade and "C" grade. A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicuous "C." He retyped it and handed the work in. In due course he received it back with the professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an 'A' and now I am glad to give it one!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .-^-. .'=^=^='. /=^=^=^=^=\ .-~-. :^= HAPPY =^; .'~~*~~'.|^ EASTER! ^| /~~*~~~*~~\^=^=^=^=^=^: :~*~~~*~~~*~;\.-*))`*-,/ |~~~*~~~*~~|/* ((* *'. :~*~~~*~~~*| *)) * *\ \~~*~~~*~~| * ((* * / `.~~*~~.' \ *)) * .' jgs `~~~` '-.((*_.-' >SMILES Deep within a forest a little turtle begins to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs and crashes to the ground. After recovering, he slowly starts climbing the tree again, jumps, and again falls to the ground. As the turtle tries again and again, a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turns to her mate. "Dear," she chirps, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." -------- A boy had his heart set on becoming an actor and finally landed a part in the school play. He came home after classes, excited to tell his dad. "That's fantastic!" his father replied. "Who do you play?" I play a guy who's been married for 20 years," the boy answered. His father said, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part." -------- We visited our newly-married daughter, who was preparing her first Turkey dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink -- with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey. Our daughter turned to my wife and said, "Mom, you ALWAYS did it that way." "Yes," my wife replied, "but you don't have a cat!" -------- A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt so she asked, "Johnny, is there anything wrong"? The boy replied, "No, I was going fishing but my dad told me that I needed to go to church". The teacher was very impressed and asked Johnny if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing. Johnny replied, "Yes teacher, Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us". -------- I was in Ft. Myers, Florida, the other day, and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Chicago." So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!" -------- A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes," she quickly replied. "Tell him...Mother didn't come after all." -------- A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five." -------- A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?" "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the flesh of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize. That changes the molecular structure and turns it into a different color." There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me? -------- NASA planned a mission that involved three astronauts spending two years in space. Because of the extended duration, each was allowed to take 200 pounds of baggage, with no restrictions. The first astronaut took his wife. The second took books to learn how to speak German. The third astronaut, who was blond, took 200 pounds of cigarettes. Two years later, when the spacecraft landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. The first astronaut and his wife each had a baby in their arms. The second astronaut spoke fluent German. The blond astronaut appeared with a cigarette in his mouth. He snarled to the crowd and shouted, "Anybody got a match?" ------- Suddenly, a cow runs out into the road and a Limo driving late at night hits it head on and the car comes to a stop. The woman in the back seat - in her usual abrasive manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check on that poor cow--you were driving." So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it appeared to be very old. Well, says the woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there" Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face. "My gosh, What Happened to You?" asks the woman. The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the daughter made love to me." "Why? What on earth did you say?" asks the woman. "Well, I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow." --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Genniann :) .--. /``'. /wwww\ .---. |* * \ |-=-=|/ ^ ^ `;--. *| \wwww/\^ ^ ^/~~~~\.' __ '--' '----| | .'-=\ jgs .'``\ \~~~~/ .-""-:=-=-=| / * | '--' /><><><\=-=/ |* / .-""-.<><>A lawyer A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50 who walks away satisfied. Not even a week later the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: An invoice in the amount of $50 due for a consultation. -<>- >Somewhere in Texas – A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck, towing a boat with a coffin in it. A passerby remarked, “That guy must have been a very avid fisherman…” “Oh, he still is,” remarked one of the mourners. “As a matter of fact, he’s headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.” -<>- >A Senior trying to set a password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourButtIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourButtIfYouDontGiveMe AccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use. --- ...HaHa! Too Funny and TOO REAL! Thanks Geniann! ==================================================== >-->From Our Friend Fran :) __ / \`\ __ | \ `\ /`/ \ \_/`\ \-"-/` /\ \ | | \ | (d b) \_/ / \ ,".|.'.\_/.'.|.", / /\' _|_ '/\ \ | / '-`"`-' \ | | | | | | \ \ / / | jgs \ \ \ / / / `"`\ : /'"` `""`""` >Benevolent Golfer A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf." ------- The king wanted to go fishing, so he called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days, So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area". The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster. The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." __ __ (__`\ (__`\ \\`\ `\\`\ \\ \ `\\`\ \\ \ `\\`\#\\ \# \_ ##\_ |## (___)(___)## (0) (0)`\## |~ ~ , \## | | \## | /\ \## __..---'''''-.._.._ | | \ `\## _.--' _ `. Y | \ `##' \`\ \ / | \ | `\ \ /_...___| \ | `\\ / `. | / ## | | | / #### | | | / #### | () () | \ | | _.-' ## `. .' `._. |______..| |-'| `------' | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | _____ | | | |____| || | jgs / `` |-`/ ` |` | \________\__\_______\__\ """"""""" """""""'""" So the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions. The practice is unbroken to this date and thus, the democrat symbol was born!!! --- ...LOL! Oh My! Great classics! Thanks Fran! Action Speaks Louder Than Words! Pres. OBAMA, KERRY AND RICE Promised us, 'Russia Made Sure Assad No Longer Has These Weapons!' | , | , \ / ,,_--_, \./ ,// _ _\ \./ ;;\ // x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | Pres. Trump just proved he is for all people regardless of their race or religion! Reminds me of how they are acting now. You'd think they would be all praising Trump for defending poor Muslim children (who they say Trump is against - all Muslims) from being horribly gassed to death. However, the View’s Bleeding Heart Liberal Democrat Joy Behar Dismisses Dead Children With The Toss Of Her Hands [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/kqj5tgs And The Democrats filibustered against Judge Gorsuch for the Supreme Court even though he is highly qualified and a most perfect pick to replace Judge Scalia. Some saying it was in retaliation for Obama's pick last year not being considered - even though Pres. Obama and VP Biden had both said that outgoing presidents should never pick Supreme Court Justices. It's no wonder Lou Dobbs calls them 'The Dimms'. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Action Speaks Louder Than Words Mark Levin: ‘You should be very proud of your president, a real commander-in-chief’ http://tinyurl.com/mptyonj BREAKING: While Trump Smashed Syria, Look What He Quietly Did in North Korea [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/lmvjfy2 Again Action Speaks Louder Than Words - The Dims say Trump is against Women's equal rights...But guess what? Whoa! Media Speechless When They Find Out Who Commanded USS Porter http://tinyurl.com/mckkdpv Trump calls to thank Navy commanders of warships USS Ross, USS Porter that conducted Syria strike http://tinyurl.com/kolhdfy ALERT: World Leaders Weigh In On Trump Air Strike... Jaws DROP http://tinyurl.com/k3h29tv Again Action Speaks Louder Than Words - Dims Bias and Hypocrisy: So Much For Women’s Rights Elizabeth Warren! She Pays Female Staffers $20K Less Than Male Staffers http://tinyurl.com/k3aynj3 DANG! They Don’t Mess About With Camp Fires In Russia [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/k29psn4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: What the heck is going on in India? If you ever thought Rudyard Kipling was full of it, then you owe his corpse an apology, because a little girl was just discovered in a forest in northern India living with a troop of monkeys. The girl is estimated to be between eight and 10-years-old. Doctors said she could not communicate and displayed "monkey-like" traits. The little girl was spotted by villagers in the Katarniaghat wildlife sanctuary, on the Indian border with Nepal. A senior police official told BBC Hindi she had been playing with a pack of monkeys and imitating their behavior when police went to rescue her. The police official, Suresh Yadav, said the monkeys attacked his squad when they arrived to take her away. Doctors said she was malnourished when she was brought in, with long hair and nails, and wounds on her body. She was also unable to communicate but would screech and initially walked on all fours. Her condition is said to be much better now, however, and in the long term she is expected to be handed over to child welfare agencies and other medical specialists to slowly reintroduce her to the world. It is not clear, however, how long the little girl has been living in the forest. *-- The Wrong Time and Place to Buy Lingerie --* A woman shot her love rival who was shopping for lingerie at Victoria's Secret, according to police in Ohio. Columbus police said that they have arrested 22-year-old Anikqua A.E. Williams, after being accused of shooting 23-year-old Daneshia Elmore. According to the police investigation, Williams and Elmore were fighting over a man for more than a year. When Williams saw that Elmore was buying lingerie at a Victoria's Secret Pink store, apparently to entice her boyfriend, she pulled out a gun. Williams then shot Elmore in the chest. Elmore was rushed to the Ohio Health Grant Medical Center, where she is said to be in stable condition. *----- Those Chinese Know How to Have Fun -----* A Chinese zoo is making some extra cash and promoting education by charging guests $145 for the privilege of cleaning up polar bear poop. The Wuhan Haichang Ocean Park in Hubei province is offering a service once a week to adult guests interested in spending three hours experiencing the life of a polar bear keeper. The guests, who must undergo health checks and attend a short training session prior to their shifts, are given the opportunity to prepare food and feed the bears, but their main duties involve cleaning up the bear's doodies. "It really costs money to smell poop, but it's quite funny," Li Fengfan, 26, a zoo guest who recently took the polar bear experience, told China News Service. "It's hard to see polar bears, not to mention come into close contact with them." Park spokesperson Chen Ting said the goal of the program is education. "It's the first time the park has had a program targeting adults," Chen said. "It is a pilot to popularize science and knowledge of the animal for the public good, not for money. We actually don't want too many participants as that would disturb them." *-- Every Woman Should Have a Talented Tongue --* A circus entertainer set a world record on an Italian game show by stopping the blades of a fan with her tongue. Australian daredevil performer Zoe Ellis, known by her stage name Zoe L'Amore, appeared on Italy's Lo Show dei Record to break her own Guinness World record for most electric fan blades stopped using the tongue in one minute. Ellis held two 35W fans running at the highest speed and managed to top her previous record of 20 by sticking her tongue to stop the blades on each fan 16 times for a new record total of 32. Her record was later surpassed by Ashrita Furman, who used her tongue to stop the blades 35 times, after the show was recorded. Ellis' household still holds multiple world records however, as she maintains the record for "Most mouse traps released on the tongue in one minute (female)" and her husband Chayne Hultgren, a.k.a. "The Space Cowboy," holds records for "Most blow torches extinguished with the tongue in one minute," "Most swords swallowed under- water and Heaviest weight pulled by the eye sockets." *------------- Drunk Lives Matter -------------* A Pennsylvania man wearing a T-shirt that says "Drunk Lives Matter" was charged with DUI by Newville police. 44-year-old Elwood R Gutshall, wearing a green St. Patrick's Day T-shirt, was charged March 19 with DUI after police said he committed several traffic violations. His blood alcohol level was found to be 0.217 percent. He was charged with the highest level of DUI, driving under suspension and traffic violations. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) ,--. ,-({ })-. ({ \,./,---. ,---. ,`--{##,--. })({ }) ,--.({ ,-(( })--.\,. /--. ,-({ ),-.({__\ /__ )#,--. ) ({_ \ /__ })' ',.' `:_( })' .' `,.' `.( {##} })_\ /---. (( {##} })-..-`'.__,' ',.'__ ) `._,,`'`._,' ({ )_) {##} `: '.({ )_,'._ `---' (`--/`'\ )) `--' `._`.\|//,';`-( )--' ,--.__`,`,'--._ `--' ; _, / \| \- \ ;_,'_,-'__||\ ,\ | ;---' ,' _/\|'._\' ; _, /|| jrei ;_'_,-'||| >How Often? When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my Car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter. During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do That?" one asked. Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my Routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first." -<>- >Going to Heaven I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!" I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!!!" -<>- >Dangerous Golf James addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped like a ton of bricks! James and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet. "Good heavens!" exclaimed James. "What should I do?" "Don't move him!" cautioned his partner. "If we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it two club lengths away." -<>- >Morning Paper I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified section, though." I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!" She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells, coffee grounds and a few orange peels." -<>- __ .--.;_.'-. _., \__.' ;@ '. .'; `. ; __..-"'o ; ;' ; ;_/ ._.-' '. } : / `. _i/v\. ; i',; ( \_.' .(_) ; ' /{ \/ '. .r_.' .'\ ; .' .''-';_ ; ''-. ; / '.`. \ ; '. ; '. '._.; _ ; ; ; \.' '.__.-i ; fsc 'wWw' "wWw' >Squirrels There were four churches and a synagogue in a small Ohio town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since. -<>- >Three Wishes A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a magic lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each” So the eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.” Pfufffff” and he Was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls and plenty of food.” Pfufffff” and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.” --- ...TeeHee! Good Ones! Thanks Bunni! =========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ____ || | ||___| _)__<__ _ _ |____|__|:|___|:|_ | |_.---._|___| _ | o| | | |_o_| | || |/| |\| | |_||____|`\___/'|___| V _/-\_ fsc TO MY DARLING HUSBAND, I'm sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so you'll be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what's been going on since your computer entered our lives two years ago. The children are doing well. Tommy is 7 now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project. All the figures were good, but yours was excellent! The chair and back of your head are very realistic. You would be proud of him. Little Jennifer turned 3 in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jen despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out. I am doing well. I went blond about a year ago and was delighted to discover that it really was more fun. I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you don't mind being vacuumed and that the feather duster makes you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring. I'm not sure if you noticed it. I asked the painters to cut air holes in the drop cloths so you wouldn't be disturbed. Well, dear, I must be going. The family is leaving on a ski trip and there is much packing to do. I've hired a house- keeper to take care of things while we are away. She'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to the computer room just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jen and I think of you often. Try to remember us while your pages are loading. Love, Mary -<>- An American tourist refused to be too greatly impressed with the masterpieces at the Louvre. "We've got plenty of priceless canvasses in the United States too," he declared. "I know," said the guide. "Rembrandt painted seven hundred pictures in his lifetime, and America has all ten thousand of them." -<>- Once upon a time an evil king captured a virgin princess and held her captive in his high tower. Though she was very beautiful he forced her to wear a disgusting and smelly burlap dress. "You'll never get away with this," she cried. "Some brave knight will rescue me!" "Not in that thing," the evil king replied. She waited day and night, but it was just as the king pre- dicted. Every knight that saw her in the window of the high tower was scared away by her dress, which, as I've mentioned, was very disgusting. After many months the princess broke down crying and the evil king taunted her, "You see? I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in this dress!" -<>- A recent contest by the makers of Silly Putty has resulted in "The Top 50 Silliest Uses for Silly Putty." The winning, No.1 idea came from Peter Hyde of Collinsville, Conn., who recommends replacing one's stockbroker with Silly Putty by throwing a ball of it against the stock pages and investing in the stock it lifts off the newsprint. The complete list is located on the new Sillyputty.com site. -<>- A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the Sales Rep, "I'm calling because our company replaced all the windows in your house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago, and you still haven't sent us a single payment." The customer replied, "But you said they'd pay for THEMSELVES in 12 months!" -<>- Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights do make an airplane. -<>- While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!" -<>- &&&&&&& &&(+.+)&& ___\=/___ (|_ ~~~ _|) )___( /' `\ ~~~~~~~~~~~ `~//~~~\\~' ejm97 /_) (_\ A friend was making dolls for her grandchildren. As she was painstakingly finishing a dimpled knee, the phone rang. "Hi, Mom, what are you doing?" came a son's cheery voice. Removing pins from her mouth, my friend answered, "Making babies." There was a moment's silence at the other end. "Oh...is Dad home?" [Contributed to Reader's Digest.] -<>- Here's a "real life funny" for you, Joe. This happened to me at Christmas time. I was shopping in an arts and crafts store, where a friend of mine worked, for a gift for my niece. She had taken an interest in oil painting and I planned to purchase a beginner set of paints and brushes. My friend was at the cash register when I was checking out. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks and had started a diet in the meantime, having moderate success. She asked me if I had gotten thinner. I was thrilled that it showed already and replied that I had lost a few pounds. She rolled her eyes and said, "I meant paint thinner." [Thanks to the thin and funny Teri Grottke.] ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) ___ ___ ___ ___ ___.---------------. .'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__,` . ____ ___ \ |\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ _:\ |:. \ \___ \ \\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\_`.__| `. \ \___ \ \\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __: \ \\'\__\'\__\'\__\ \__\'\_;-----------------` hh \\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ : | \|______________________;________________| >Seven Health Benefits of Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate is loaded with nutrients that can positively affect your health. Made from the seed of the cocoa tree, it is one of the best sources of antioxidants on the planet. Studies show that dark chocolate (not the sugary crap) can improve health and lower the risk of heart disease. 1. Dark Chocolate is Very Nutritious If you buy quality dark chocolate with a high cocoa content, then it is actually quite nutritious. It contains a decent amount of soluble fiber and is loaded with minerals. A 100 gram bar of dark chocolate with 70-85% cocoa contains (1): * 11 grams of fiber. * 67 percent of the RDA for Iron. * 58 percent of the RDA for Magnesium. * 89 percent of the RDA for Copper. * 98 percent of the RDA for Manganese. It also has plenty of potassium, phosphorus, zinc and selenium. Of course, 100 grams (3.5 ounces) is a fairly large amount and not something you should be consuming daily. All these nutrients also come with 600 calories and moderate amounts of sugar. For this reason, dark chocolate is best consumed in moderation. The fatty acid profile of cocoa and dark chocolate is excellent. The fats are mostly saturated and monounsaturated, with small amounts of polyunsaturates. It also contains stimulants like caffeine and theobromine, but is unlikely to keep you awake at night as the amount of caffeine is very small compared to coffee. 2. Dark Chocolate is a Powerful Source of Antioxidants Have you ever heard of a measure called ORAC? ORAC stands for Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity. It is a measure of the antioxidant activity of foods. Basically, researchers pit a bunch of free radicals (bad) against a sample of food and see how well the antioxidants in the food can “disarm” them. The biological relevance of this metric is questioned, because it’s done in a test tube and may not have the same effect in the body. However, I think it is worth mentioning that raw, unprocessed cocoa beans are among the highest scoring foods that have been tested. Dark chocolate is loaded with organic compounds that are biologically active and function as antioxidants. These include polyphenols, flavanols, catechins, among others. One study showed that cocoa and dark chocolate contained more antioxidant activity, polyphenols and flavanols than other fruits they tested, which included blueberries and Acai berries. 3. Dark Chocolate May Improve Blood Flow and Lower Blood Pressure The flavanols in dark chocolate can stimulate the endothelium, the lining of arteries, to produce Nitric Oxide (NO), which is a gas. One of the functions of NO is to send signals to the arteries to relax, which lowers resistance to blood flow and therefore reduces blood pressure. There are many controlled trials showing that cocoa and dark chocolate can improve blood flow and lower blood pressure, but the effects are usually mild. 4. Dark Chocolate Raises HDL and Protects LDL Against Oxidation Consuming dark chocolate can improve several important risk factors for heart disease. In a controlled trial, cocoa powder was found to significantly decrease oxidized LDL cholesterol in men. It also increased HDL and lowered total LDL in men with elevated cholesterol (9). Oxidized LDL means that the LDL (“bad” cholesterol) has reacted with free radicals. This makes the LDL particle itself reactive and capable of damaging other tissues… such as the lining of the arteries in your heart. It makes perfect sense that cocoa lowers oxidized LDL. It contains an abundance of powerful antioxidants that do make it into the bloodstream and protect lipoproteins against oxidative damage. Dark chocolate can also reduce insulin resistance, which is another common risk factor for many diseases like heart disease and diabetes. 5. Dark Chocolate May Lower The Risk of Cardiovascular Disease The compounds in dark chocolate appear to be highly protective against the oxidation of LDL. In the long term, this should cause much less cholesterol to lodge in the arteries and we should see a lower risk of heart disease over the long term. It turns out that we have several long-term observational studies that show a fairly drastic improvement. In a study of 470 elderly men, cocoa was found to reduce the risk of cardiovascular death by a whopping 50% over a 15 year period. Another study revealed that eating chocolate 2 or more times per week lowered the risk of having calcified plaque in the arteries by 32%. Eating chocolate less frequently had no effect. Yet another study showed that chocolate 5+ times per week lowered the risk of cardiovascular disease by 57%. Of course, these 3 studies are so-called observational studies that can not prove that it was the chocolate that caused the reduction in risk. However, given that we have a biological mechanism (lower blood pressure and oxidized LDL) then I find it plausible that regular consumption of dark chocolate can in fact reduce the risk of heart disease. 6. Dark Chocolate May Protect Your Skin Against The Sun The bioactive compounds in dark chocolate may also be great for your skin. The flavonols can protect against sun-induced damage, improve blood flow to the skin and increase skin density and hydration (19). The minimal erythemal dose (MED) is the minimum amount of UVB rays required to cause redness in the skin, 24 hours after exposure. In one study of 30 people, the MED more than doubled after consuming dark chocolate high in flavanols for 12 weeks (20). If you’re planning on a beach vacation, consider loading up on dark chocolate in the prior weeks and months. 7. Dark Chocolate May Improve Brain Function The good news isn’t over yet. Dark chocolate may also improve the function of the brain. One study of healthy volunteers showed that 5 days of consuming high-flavanol cocoa improved blood flow to the brain (21). Cocoa may also significantly improve cognitive function in elderly people with mental impairment. It also improves verbal fluency and several risk factors for disease. Cocoa also contains stimulant substances like caffeine and theobromine, which may be a key reason cocoa can improve brain function in the short term (23). Article by Kris Gunnars --- ...Love the info! Thanks Bunni! |\ /| |\ /| | \ / | |\\ //| | | | | | \| |/ | \ | | / \ || || / \ |_| / \||_||/ .' '. .' '. | | |o o| / \ /= Y =\ `'-. .-'` `'-.^.-'` _| |_ _| |_ /` `\ /` `\ | / \ | | | |/ \| | ( ) | / \ /\ \ / /\ | .-~-. | | '._)_.' | \ { } / \ / jgs \ '-=-' / \ '.___.' / .--' ;---; '--. .--' \---/ '--. `-------' '-------` `-------' '-------` So Go Ahead - Indulge in your favorite DARK Chocolate and Be sure to pick up a DARK Chocolate Bunny for Easter ... _ .-"--._ / \ / ____\ ||\\ / /`( || \\ _| '``'-. | \_\\ ` 9\ , \_ 9 _ '-.= .--'|} | _ \) | / /}} \/ = \ ;_.'/ .=\.--'`\} | `-`__.;---.//` '---./' '.___..-'` `| _/ __.-.__/ _ _ ___ ___ ___ _ _ , .-' .-' ||| | | |/ \| _ \| _ \| | | {|'--. .-/ / |\\ | | | | _/| _/\ / {{\ \ { | /_ / \| |_|_|\___/|_| |_| |_| {/`'--./=. `-\ `\--;` ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ _`\.---' `\\ '-. | | | _|| _ |/ __\|_ _|| _|| _ \ / \ |\ || ) / _/ | _|| |\__ \ | | | _|| / \_/ | |// jgs / __.' '--. |___||_|_|\___/ |_| |___||_\_\ (_) \//_/| ( '--. ___))) //\__/ `-..____))) |/ Makes for a Happy Easter Celebration! ;) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) FULL Easter Index!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easterindex.html Thank You God!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thankgod.html The REAL Bambi And Thumper Photos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html Egg Face Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eggface.html Volker's Easter Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eastertree.html Fairy Garden Pot Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/potart.html Flower Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart.html World's Largest Bunny!- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/bunny.html We Three Friends!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/threefriends.html Sweet Animals With Flowers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalswithflowers.html Beautiful Rare Flowers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rareflowers.html God's Spring Paintings!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gspring.html Humor With Golf!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html Jobs That Suck!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Ironic Isn't It? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.htm -<>- >Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/mrrntql -<>- Christian Inspiration http://www.alighthouse.com/inspirational.htm Christian eCards http://www.alighthouse.com/ From TruthOrTradition: Online Teachings: http://thesowermagazine.com/category/issue-2nd-quarter-2015/ -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) This film, originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum figured out exactly when it was shot. From New York trade papers announcing the film showing to the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall & shadows indicating time of year & actual weather and conditions on historical record, even when the cars were registered (he even knows who owned them and when the plates were issued!)... It was filmed only four days before the quake and shipped by train to NY for processing. Amazing but true! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHxuUNKWwmY --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) She sent us one we have here... USA Of Crazy Laws! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html --- ...HaHa! Thanks Melody! With all the Refugees in Michigan, they may start enforcing this law again! http://tinyurl.com/mp3o5ww [Knife-Thrower and Children] : Universal-International Newsreel https://archive.org/details/KnifeThr1950 --- ...Geezee Pete's! Nightmarish! Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "One of the most astounding cases of clairvoyance is that of the noted Greek psychic Achilles Loudos. Loudos realized that he had unusual powers by the age of ten, when he could lie in bed and, by concentrating, make his father's false teeth jump out of his mouth." --Woody Allen My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Just wait." --Judy Tenuta "I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do." -Lenny Bruce "Dr. Livingstone I Presume. The full name of Dr. Presume." - Unknown "A new study claims that mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is not necessary during CPR and it's better to skip right to chest compression. However, the study says that you're still required to snuggle for a half hour afterwards." - Conan O'Brien "I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him." - Jack Handey "The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth. Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression." -Robert Benchley "I think I'd be a good mother. Maybe a little overprotective. Like I would never let the kid out....of my body." -Wendy Liebman "Librarians always look like librarians who are trying not to look like librarians. Even librarians who try not to look like librarians look like librarians trying not to look like librarians." -Unknown >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************