All About Cats And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ ,'````', .`',.' `..'``', ____ ,' `', .-' '-. ; ..' /) '. ,'``', ,.., ,.., ', ,., .'`/ (/ \ ,.' '` '.' ; '.,.`'.,,,.` `''` ; ; ,` ', | | ; ; ___| | `., ; ,... ,' .-' ; ; `.,.' `,.' `,. ; .' /) \ / `.,,' / (/ '. .' '. ; '-._ _.-' \ | |)( ; | (__) | ; ;/ | \ // ; '. .'/ / '-._ _.-' /. .' )( / '-._ _.-' (__) / )( | / (__) | / _,' | / _,' |/._,' .-'''-. o(uuu) /(.) (.)\ '-' ; O ; // ,;,;,;,;,;\ }---{ /;,//;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;,;, '-...-' ;,' ,.--U--.// \\/ //. ) \// \\/ ,|| '.___.' o Y ) | || | \// OOO _|~||~|_ BrB (___)(___) *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || *~* Don't Forget ALL The FREE LUNCHES AND DINNERS For VETS! >From Our Friend Dan :) * Applebees – free meal, Thursday, Nov. 11: * McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurants – free lunch or dinner, Sunday Nov 7: * Golden Corral – free meal, Monday Nov. 15 * Chili’s – free meal, Thursday, Nov. 11 * Hooters – free Meal, Thursday, Nov. 11 * Outback Steakhouse – free Bloomin’ Onion and Beverage, Thursday, Nov. 11. * Uno Chicago Grill, Thursday, Nov. 11 * America’s Incredible Pizza Company, Thursday, Nov. 11 * Subway – Free Six Inch Sub. Check out These AND MORE Free for Vets: http://tinyurl.com/28tzxwc --- ...Awesome! Thanks for the Info Dan! -<>- >3 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hottie is from our friend PatDeE. It is such a sweet story that I had to do it up to share with all of you! Check it out here... ,| / ; / \ : ,'( |( `.\ : \ `\ \. \ `. | `. \ `-._ ; \ \ ``-.'.. _ `._ `. `-. ```-...__ .'`. --.. ``-..____ ,'.-'`,_-._ (((( - This next one is inspired from my daughter and our friend Tammy. I love it! See if you do too! , /\ , / '-' '-' \ | POLICE | \ .--. / | ( 19 ) | \ '--' / '--. .--' jgs \/ Amazing Cop Cars 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copcars2.html --- ...Thanks Tammy! Simply awesome! Especially the BMW one ;) -<>- This last one comes from forwards from three of our friends - Sandi, Del, and James! It is one that should bring a few Smiles - it sure did me! Check it out here... ,--. //^\\\ ,;;;, . ((-_-))) (-_- ; /_\ )))((( >..'. .:. .--. |SSt| ((_._ ) /. .| :-_-; /-_-)) _))A ((_//| S || ,`-'. ))-(( `( )`' |___|),;, C \\_/,`I )) \ / | | |`' |___(/-'|___() ,-. )( | | | | | | | | | (-_-) _____ /__\ |_|_| |_|_| |_|_| (\I/\.__|A|R|T| `'' `-'-' `-'-' `-'-' `'-`' `o' `o' Parenting No-No's http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html --- ...Wowsers! Shocking to say the least! Thanks Sandi, Del, and James! -<>- _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ >-->READER PRAYER REQUEST From Our Friend PatW :) She responds to our last 'The Seed, My Feet, And More'... I had to really sit up and take notice of this. Thank you ever so much. It just happens that I am entering a new chapter in my life...kind of scary, but I am going to keep this as a reminder that the Lord can work miracles and do what I can't!!! I am about to retire, come the end of December, after 24 years as Admin Assistant to the Business Dept. and Social Sciences Division at Holy Names University in Oakland, CA. And, this means I have to move. I am on the waiting list for an affordable senior apartment neaby. Pray, please that there will be a vacancy come December as once I retire I won't be about to afford the rent here!!!!! Before that, though, I am going to have total right knee replacement surgery Nov. 16. Bottom line is I have you and a few other Christians....people I can lean on from across the miles...and for that I am so thankful. Pray that the surgery will go well. Pray that my anxiety level will go down since I am still packing for moving to the Hazel Shirley Manor. Pray that help from my church will come along next weekend before my surgery. [In the name of Jesus Christ dear Father God we thank you for this for our group friend PatW! Please remind us to add her to our prayers to you each day. Bless her true in Jesus' name we pray, AMEN] And, in turn....heartfelt thanks to you and the group for your kindness, your prayer support and for just being here for me from across the miles. Peace & Blessings, Pat --- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' ...Ahh, you are such a sweetheart! Thank you for all your kind words and devoted readership PatW! You are in my prayers and hopefully in the entire groups prayers. The more the better! Matt.18: [20] For where two or three are gathered together in my [Jesus Christ's] name, there am I in the midst of them. That is why I like using this group for hard core prayer help! They are an excellent resource! World Prayer Network http://www.worldprayer.org/ I like to keep this verse in mind whenever I worry about things... Eph.3 [20] Now unto him [God] who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, God is "able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think" ANYTHING You can dream up to Ask God to do for you - guess what? He is able to do not only it, but exceeding abundantly above it! He's Got The Power And He's Got The Might And He Can Do! God has NO problem answering your prayers - 'according to the power that worketh in you' - according to your faith - your believing in Him. God is THE Creator of the entire universe. From the vastness of the heavens to the complexities of DNA cells - there is nothing too big or anything too small that He is not an expert on. He is the greatest and He is the best. Once I get the 'able to do' out of my mind - then I get the 'willing' to do for little ole me... God Tells us... 3 John 1: [2] Beloved, [that's us - God's children] I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. ABOVE ALL THINGS God is wamting you to prosper and be healthy as long as 'thy soul prospereth' - as long as you are alive. That tells you that - if you are asking for anything that deals with a sound mind or a sound body, then God wants that for you. ALSO If you are praying for any thing to do with your personal prosperity - mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually - then God wants that for you. Not just a passing want for you but it is the TOP of God's List for You His Child! It is not on the top of His list that you keep His commandments or preach His Word or be the best God in Christ Christian walking on the face of this earth. No. God wants Above All These things for you to be HEALTHY And PROSPEROUS. So that is the most important things to keep in mind when you pray for anything from God through Jesus Christ. Why through Jesus Christ? Another assurance to build your faith and believing. Jesus tells us why we ask in the name of Jesus Christ... John 14: [13] And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. [14] If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. John 16: [23] And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he [God] will give it you. [24] Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. Jesus wants your 'joy to be full'. This is not just for needs but for wants as well. 'WHATSOEVER ye ask' - No Limits with God through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior! ============================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: The Two Gas Men (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) )'.'.'.':;:;:'.'.'.'( Two gas company servicemen, a senior ('.'.'.;' | `:.'.'.') training supervisor and a young trainee, )'.'.';' | `:'.'.'( were out checking meters in a suburban ('.'.;' | `:.'.') neighborhood. They parked their truck )'.';'____|____`:'.'( at the end of the alley and worked (==@' | `@==) their way to the other end. )'.: @() :.'( ('.'. ()@() .'.') At the last house a woman looking out )'.'. ()@()@) .'.'( her kitchen window watched the two men ('.'. _\|/_ .'.') as they checked her gas meter. )'.'. |-----| .'.'( ('.'.___\___/___.'.') Finishing the meter check, the jgs )'.'============='.'( senior supervisor challenged his ('.' '.') younger coworker to a foot race ~ ~ down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. _ _|=|__________ As they came running up to the / \ truck, they realized the lady from / \ that last house was huffing and /__________________\ puffing right behind them. They || || /--\ || || stopped and asked her what was ||[]|| | .| ||[]|| wrong. ()||__||_|__|_||__||() ( )|-|-|-|====|-|-|-|( ) Gasping for breath, she replied, jgs^^^^^^^^^^====^^^^^^^^^^^ "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ================================================================= +----------- More Bizarre November Holidays ------------+ November 11 is Air Day November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day November 13 is National Indian Pudding Day November 14 is Operation Room Nurse Day November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day November 16 is Button Day November 17 is Take A Hike Day November 18 is Occult Day November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day November 20 is Absurdity Day =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend James :) I change my underwear every other day I change my socks " " " I change my shirt " " " But...my pants...like my address...rarely do I change...! --- ...TeeHee! Silly! Thanks James! =========================================================== >-->Did Jesus Use... Did Jesus use Twitter, At the Sermon on the Mount? Did He ever try Facebook, To send His message out? Did the disciples carry cell phones, As they went about their route? Did Jesus use Twitter, At the Sermon on the Mount? Did Paul use a Laptop, ith lots of RAM and ROM? Were his letters posted on a blog, At Paul.Rome.Com? Did the man from Macedonia, Send an E-Mail saying "Come?" Did Paul use a Laptop, With lots of RAM and ROM? Did Moses use a joystick, At the parting of the Sea? And a Satellite Guidance Tracking System, To show him where to be? Did he write the law on tablets, Or are they really on CD? Did Moses use a joystick, At the parting of the Sea? Did Jesus really die for us, One day upon a tree? Or was it just a Hologram, Or Technical Wizardry? Can you download the Live Action Video Clip, To play on your PC? Did Jesus really die for us, One day upon a tree? Have the wonders of this modern age, Made you question what is true? How a single man, in a "simple time", Could offer life anew? How a sinless life, a cruel death, Then a glorious life again, Could offer more to a desperate world, Than all the inventions of man? If in your life, the voice of God, Is sometimes hard to hear. With other voices calling, His doesn't touch your ear. Then set aside your laptop, And all your fancy gear. And open your Bible, open your heart, And let your Father draw near. (Author Unknown) --- ...Aww, thanks Wesley. While this poem may be true for some, I find the computer very helpful since I am having trouble with my eyes with my inherited cornea disease. The computer allows me to read the bible where I can no long read my own bible without being in direct light or use a flashlight and magnifiers. The computer also brought me great teachings like those from TruthOrTradition.com. Also I can share God and the Word with all of you! . . . .'. \ / \ / .'. .' '.' ' -= o =- -= o =- .' ' / | \ / | \ | | | | | | .=====| |=====. |.---.| |.---.| ||=o=|| ||=o=|| || || || || || || || || ||___|| ||___|| |[:::]| jgs |[:::]| '-----' '-----' I think the wonders of this modern age only brings us closer to God and understanding just how magnificent God really is! What a great big wonderful God we have! . + . . . . . . . . . * . * . . . . . . + . "You Are Here" . . + . . . . | . . . . . . | . . . +. + . \|/ . . . . . . V . * . . . . + . + . . . + . . + .+. . . . . + . . . . . . . . . . . . . ! / * . . . + . . - O - . . . + . . * . . / | . + . . . .. + . . . . . * . * . +.. . * . . . . . . . . + . . + unknown While He created the entire Universe and dealt with the complexities of the micro life, He patiently waited for us to grow and mature. He dealt with us on our level. Even when we did not know the earth was round or that there was tiny life we couldn't even see with our own eyes, He instructed and raised us up, being ever so patient and gentle with us. He is the one who has brought us to this 'wonders of the modern age' and who knows, perhaps in another 2000 years we'll be marveling at how he dealt with such primitive people back in the year 2010! ==================================================== >-->From Our Friend DonnaL :) . >< . o . o ' . >< * >< . . . o __ ,,",". . L" ,|| >< .-'_-||' . . . . / J . . . /o| L L ,-',/ ,J | ``\ .* C -' `-.-JL`.\ LJLJ ` . _|JL| . `--'`-' o * - . -bf- >Top REJECTED Lines From Cajun Fairy Tales Once upon a time, there was a handsome Cajun from the magical land of Acadiana who had a trusty cooking pot so large that he thought all fairy tales should begin with “Firs’ you make a roux…” ~^~ And then the Rayne Toad said to Princess Marie, "You just love me for my frog legs don’t you?" ~^~ So party of the first part and the party of the second part lived happily – and legally -- ever after at Domineaux and Breaux’s Law Firm Office. ~^~ Cinderella then demanded, "Dude, dis aint no pirogue!" ~^~ In the lawsuit, Goldilocks Thibodeaux accused the three Boudreaux Bears of negligence, claiming that their having left the scalding-hot grits where it could easily be stolen led directly to her third-degree burns on her tongue. ~^~ "Yes, Your Highness, it's a very nice slipper and it matches everything but -- do you have someting wit a lower heel dat doesn’t rub against my bunions? ~^~ "Not by the hair of that moss covered tree!" ~^~ Sleeping Beauty awoke from her 100-year-slumber, sat up and told the prince, "Mais, that wine flavored courtboullion is Ca c'est bon (yummy good)! ~^~ And after the prince did slay the mighty dragon, knights from the far-away land of the Northern Kingdom of Shreveport called PETA and got permission to have a dragon Boucherie. They taught the Northern kingdom how not to ever let any wild game go to waste… -<>- __i |---| |[_]| |:::| |:::| `\ \ \_=_\ jsm >21st Century.... We are becoming LESS and LESS by the day: Our communication - Wireless Our dress - Topless Our telephone - Cordless Our cooking - Fireless Our food - Fatless Our labor - Effortless Our conduct - Worthless Our relationships - Loveless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Valueless Our follies - Countless Our arguments – Baseless Our youth - Jobless Our Job - Thankless Our Salary – Well, mostly just LESS --- ...LOL! Thanks DonnaL! -<>- >FYI .-'` '. __/ __ \ / \ / \ | ___ | /`\| /`\| | .-' /^\/^\ | \(/| \(/| |/ |) |)| .-\__/ \__/ | \_/\_/__..._ _...---'-. / _ '. /, , \ '| `\ \ | )) )) /`| \ `. /) /) | | ` ` .' | `-._ / \ .' | ,_ `--....-' `. __.' , | / /`'''` `'-.____.-' / /, | / / `. `-.-` .' \ / / | `-.__.'| \ | | |-. _.._| | / | | `'. .-''`` | | | / | `-. .'` / / / | | '. /` / / | / |\ \ / | | | | /\ | || | / | / '. | |\ \ | / | '. / \ `. '. / | \ '---'/ \ '. `-./ \ '. / '. `'. `-._ '.__ '-._____.'--'''''--. '-. `'--._ `.__ `';----` \ `-. `-. `."'``` ; `'-..,_ `-. `'-. / jgs '. '. '. .' Snakes don’t bite in rivers or swamps because they would drown if they did. - McDonald's originally served hotdogs, not hamburgers. - Frog bones form a new ring every year when the frog is hibernating, just like trees do. Scientists count these rings to determine the age of the frog. - Dwight D. Eisenhower, who became one of the most successful commanders in history, was admitted to West Point only because the applicant who ranked ahead of him failed the physical. --- The population of Washington, D.C. is greater than the population of Wyoming. - A notch in a tree will remain the same distance from the ground as the tree grows. - 90% of the tornadoes on Earth happen in the United States. - The Star of Bethlehem, which guided the three wise men to the infant Jesus, appears only once every 974 years. It is a bright conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in the constellation of Pisces, which was last seen in 1942 and will not reappear until 2916. - The tongue is the fasted healing part of the human body. - Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair. - ('( \ \ " Help !!! Alligators...." d@b | | @@@@' | ('( Y@P `--.. \ `--' .' `. `---....__/ | / . \ /^^^^\ / .'\ \ /^^\________/0 \ \ \ \ \ ( `~+++,,_____,,+^ -unknown- \ \ \__\ ...V^V^V^V^V^V^\....................... _`--` `--' Allen Mullen Alligators can climb trees. - Malcolm X's real name is Malcolm Little. Saint Patrick's real name was Maewyn Succat. Ralph Lauren's real name is Ralph Lifshitz. Houdini's real name was Ehrich Weiss. - The phrase ' The 3 R's ' ( standing for 'reading, writing and arithmetic' ) was created by Sir William Curtis, who was illiterate. - On December 23rd, 1750, Benjamin Franklin knocked himself unconscious while attempting to electrocute a turkey. --- The only South East Asian country that has never been colonized by a Western Power is Thailand. - Amish people do not believe in the use of aerosal air fresheners. - Thomas Edison once saved a boy from the path of an oncoming locomotive who was a station official's child. For his bravery, the boy's father taught Edison how to use the telegraph. - Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner - Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined - Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. - The founder of JC Penny had the middle name of Cash. - "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language - HINTS Cutting Roses When roses need cutting or pruning, it can be a prickly task. So try this easy hint to avoid getting hurt. Hold the stems with a spring clothespin to keep the thorns from sticking you. - For chigger bite - use preparation H - Soothe insect bites. Dissolve two Alka-Seltzer tablets in a glass of water, dip a cloth into the solution, and place the cloth on the bite for twenty minutes. - If you are out of dryer sheets and have a lot of things to dry, try a ball of cheap foil. It works even better than the dryer sheets at eliminating static. - Close a Bag without using a baggie tie http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjhg.htm - Cool Luggage Trick Video | How To Open “Locked” Baggage http://tinyurl.com/2bwukj3 - Great Hint: When you buy ground beef, pork, chicken, turkey, etc, in bulk, flatten the meat out in a freezer bag and squish out all the air. The meat freezes flat, it is easier to stack in your freezer, and it takes less time to defrost it! -<>- .----------------. /__________________\ ||\ ________ /| _ | || |: :| |o(_)| || |;-""""-;| |o(_)| || |________| | __ | ||/__________\|[__]| hjw "------------------" >Terrific Tasty Tips: Just a few ideas to simplify your cooking!! * When boiling milk, first stir in a pinch of baking soda. This will help keep the milk from curdling. * Add one teaspoon of lemon juice or vinegar to each quart of water when cooking rice, this will keep rice fluffy. * For crisper salads this is a great tip: Place a saucer upside down in the bottom of the salad bowl before filling with salad. Excess moisture will run underneath the saucer and this will help keep the salad crisp and fresh. * Tasty flavored whipped cream: First whip cream then add 2 tablespoons of flavored Jell-O and continue beating on slow until the whipped cream is right consistency. * Leftover ham: Lay ham slices in a baking dish then cover with maple syrup or Steen’s. Refrigerate overnight then fry the ham in butter the next morning. * You can substitute crumbled cornflakes for bread crumbs when making meatloaf. * Pickle Juice uses: Use sweet pickle juice to thin salad dressing or make French dressing with instead of vinegar, more delicious. * Cook vegetables with one or more bouillon cubes instead of salt–improves flavor. Tossing in a few garlic cloves when boiling vegetables makes things tastier too. * Salt added to flour used for thickening gravies, etc., will help to prevent lumping. * Keep brown sugar in a closed container with an apple in it, the brown sugar will stay soft and moist. * Grate orange and lemon peel before peeling. Dry and add to spice cake or any cookies or puddings. The dried grated peel will keep well in a covered jar. * Wrap parsley in foil first, then freeze. Shave off as much as needed, rewrap and return to the freezer. It will retain its flavor and freshness. * To keep peeled potatoes from turning dark without putting them in water, wrap in paper towel and wet under the faucet. * Baking bread? Do not preheat. When you light your oven, pop in the bread pans immediately and you’ll be amazed at the resulting lightness of the bread. * Toast oatmeal in the oven before adding to other ingredients when making oatmeal cookies-–delicious! * Add two teaspoons of vinegar to Jell-O and it will keep the Jell-O from melting when you serve it without distorting the taste! * Lemon juice or vinegar in water where cauliflower is cooked makes it keep its white color. * A tablespoon of minute tapioca sprinkled in apple pie will absorb excess juice while baking. * Add one teaspoon baking powder to mashed potatoes to make them fluffy. * Have a small bowl of melted butter and just brush on corn on the cob with a pastry brush. If you have a metal bowl you can put a chunk of butter in the bowl and set on grill to melt while meal is grilling. * For bananas that are ripe and ready to eat but you have too many, peel the bananas and freeze them then dip in melted chocolate and freeze again, these make a tasty treat! --- Uses For Ordinary Things (neat) http://tinyurl.com/263trlt --- ...Awesome! Thanks DonnaL! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >HEROES! Residents of Missouri Town Block Protesters From Picketing Soldier's Funeral Members of a small Missouri town banded together Saturday to block a controversial pastor and members of his Westboro Baptist Church from protesting the funeral of a fallen U.S. soldier, Fox4kc.com reports. Hundreds of residents in Weston, Mo. -- as well as people as far away as California and Australia -- rallied in support of Sgt. First Class C.J. Sadell, who died from injuries suffered during a surprise attack in Afghanistan. The residents sought to block Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan., and his followers from picketing Sadell’s funeral, according to the station. Phelps' church has been the subject of intense criticism for holding more than 44,000 pickets at funerals and other events – including the services of fallen service members. Read More Here http://tinyurl.com/2fnajhv Another one here http://tinyurl.com/32y3s97 -<>- [POLITICS] >From WorldNetDaily: Pledge: 'I'll Make Sure Obamacare is Never Implemented' In a televised interview, U.S. House GOP leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, insisted he will "never ever, ever" allow Obamacare to be implemented and hinted that the newly elected Republican majority in Congress has "a lot of tricks up our sleeves" to follow through on that promise. http://tinyurl.com/2b5yekx Oh, the irony! Look who's calling you terrorist! A former leader of a '70s protest group responsible for bombing the U.S. Capitol, the Pentagon, police stations and other targets is worried that "racist, armed, hostile, crazy-making" tea parties pose an "unspeakable" threat to America. http://tinyurl.com/2exukkv -<>- >From BizarreNews: I have to share this story I just read with you. I'm like Indiana Jones when it comes to snakes. I just can't handle them...and when I read this it totally freaked me out. A St. Petersburg, Florida man received a rude awakening earlier this week when he lifted the lid on his toilet and found a snake curled inside, with its head sticking out of the bowl! It turns out the slippery stow-away was a 6-foot African rock python. Experts said the serpent is just a baby, as African rock pythons get as big as 20 feet long or longer. The man even called his boss and told him he'd be late because he'd had to wrestle a snake out of his toilet. His boss joked he would need a better excuse than that. So he brought the snake into work with him. You don't get to use an excuse like that every day! So for the last four days I've been checking the toilet religiously every time I go into the bathroom. The wife thinks I'm nuts since it's almost winter here in the Chicago area. But you only have to be wrong once! Bizarrely, Lewis -- Drunk suspect dressed as breath test ----------- LINCOLN, Neb. - Police in Nebraska said they cited a drunken driving suspect who was dressed as a Breathalyzer for a Halloween party. Lincoln police said Matthew Nieveen, 19, received citations for second-offense driving under the influence, being a minor in possession of alcohol, an open container violation and negligent driving after he was pulled over early Monday while on his way home from a party, the Lincoln Journal Star reported Thursday. Officers said Nieveen, who was dressed as an alcohol breath tester, had slurred speech and had a bottle of vodka, several cans of beer and a half-full bottle of vodka mixed with Mountain Dew in the trunk of his 1992 Ford F-150. Nieveen's blood alcohol content was measured at more than twice the .08 legal limit for driving, police said. -- 'Groucho' record attempt at football game ------- STATESVILLE, N.C. - A North Carolina restaurant said it will attempt to break a Guinness World Record by distributing Groucho Marx glasses at a high school football game. Brandon Sutton, owner of Groucho's Deli, said workers will hand out 5,500 pairs of Groucho glasses Friday at the Statesville High School football game against West Iredell, The Charlotte (N.C.) Observer reported Thursday. Sutton said he is aiming to set a Guinness World Record for "most people wearing Groucho Marx glasses." The owner said photographs and videos will be taken of the halftime record attempt and official Guinness counters will be placed at the entrances. -<>- >From Archive 10/07 CoffeeBreak: Tattoos not enough; branding latest craze Searing permanent designs onto one's body is emerging as the latest trend, as tattoos and body piercing become more commonplace in England. The process involves cauterizing pens or branding irons heated to almost 2,000 degrees to sear designs onto the skin. Branding of livestock is illegal in England, but there is no ban on the activity for humans, The Times in London reported. The procedure was used as a form of torture in some countries such as Iraq and was historically used to brand slaves and dangerous criminals. However, one owner of a tattoo parlor told The Times that some Muslims are turning to the procedure as Islam forbids tattoos. Graham Martin -- a parlor owner and president of the Tattoo and Piercing Industry Association -- told the Times he averaged about one branding a year in 2002, but now does more than one a week. One man who underwent the procedure said it was painful, but quite an experience. "The adrenaline rush masks the pain," he said. Real-life lawsuit born of Second Life acts Six Internet retailers are suing a New York man for allegedly offering versions of their products for sale in the online universe, Second Life. Although the alleged activity occurred in the online virtual community where users can fly or slay monsters, the lawsuit in New York federal court is very real, The New York Post reported. There are more than 10 million registered Second Life users, who are all able to spend actual money to purchase virtual goods in the online universe. The lawsuit alleged that 36-year-old Thomas Simon copied the retailers' Second Life virtual goods, and in doing so violated both copyright and trademark regulations. The retailers' lawyer, Frank Tanney, said that while the suit may seem odd, Simon's alleged acts violated his clients' intellectual property rights. "This is not a joke," Tanney said. "This is not a game. This hurts them." Simon, on the other hand, is taking a different approach to the lawsuit. "They can say whatever they want to say," he told the Post. "It's a video game." Costumed pit bulls help fight for rights Proud pit bull owners dressed their canine friends up in costumes during the weekend and marched them through Indianapolis to demand the animals' rights. While pit bulls have typically been portrayed as potentially dangerous animals, those putting their animals up for public display in downtown Indianapolis feel the breed has been misrepresented, The Indianapolis Star said. "I just want people to see these dogs are wonderful animals, not the monsters people think they are and the media sometimes portrays them to be," pit bull owner Andy Needham said during Saturday's Luv-A-Bully March. "It's important for people to see they are loving, sweet animals." March officials said the event was aimed at urging authorities not to embrace breed-specific legislation being proposed in various U.S. cities. The Star said Indianapolis Mayor Bart Peterson had previously considered implementing such legislation, but has tabled it for now. ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,:',:`,:' __||_||_||_||__ ____["""""""""""""""]____ \ " '''''''''''''''''''' | ~~jgs~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^^~~^~^ The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire 3,000 plus crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "I think I do," was the captain's unexpected reply. "A'ha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of that man?" he asked, pointing to a sailor standing two rows away. "That's William Jones," replied the captain. The Secretary walked over and addressed the seaman himself. "And what's your name, sailor?" he asked. "William Jones, sir," replied Seaman Abernathy. -<>- John came home from the office and found his wife Jill sob- bing. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled John. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit." "Yes, and it's lucky you have," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole." -<>- . . . ' s \ ' . . . : , a ` c - i . b \ _ ' . i o O . - }{' o . . O - . ` ` \ ,.--------------------------,, |%`````````````````````````` | |%. | |%% _ _ | +%%.( ) ( ) .+',gg. ``-f t--------------f tgi$b.d%%%,. `-{___} `-{___}%%%%%%%%%%) ,gg. (%%%%%%%%%%; (%%%%g. `"?%%%%?' ,gg$f )%%%%%) ko1. """" Krzysztof Biolik ?$?' `??" `?f' The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an hour. "Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?" From the other side of the door came an exasperated reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight, not your height. I'm still 5'4"!" -<>- When I arrived for my daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. "For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk." "I don't understand," I replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?" The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, our appointment was tomorrow." -<>- A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But listen, I'm really in a bind so I'm going to have to trust you anyway..." -<>- While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his play- mates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be to the Father... and to the Son...and into the hole he goes." -<>- ,==. \\// .-~~-. ,",-""-.". | | | | | | .-"| |. ". `,",-" ,'.". `| |_,-' | | | | | | hjw ". `-._,-' ." `-.___,-' An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a diamond ring that had been in the family for several generations. The stone had never been appraised, so the father asked a gemologist friend if she would take a look at it. She agreed, but said that instead of a fee she'd accept lunch at one of Houston's finer restaurants. A few days later, as he and the gem expert sat sipping a glass of Chablis, he showed her the ring. She took out her jeweler's loupe, examined the diamond carefully and handed it back. "Wow," said a diner who had been watching from the next table. "These Texas women are tough!" -<>- -<>- One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did any- thing to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!" -<>- A junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her. "I finally discovered why I've been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago, and I just learned today that I've been sitting in the wastebasket." ============================================================ >-->From The Jokester: .__ _..._ /,-./'.--. ``\. /|/.--./`.o/ /`;\\ |||\ _ `-'_` o|/|| ||\\`.`.__`Y8P_,\|| \\|| `"\"""/---'|| \\| ,-' `.||// \(-'_ `. ,-' [_] .-. \ ; `\| ||-'/ ` \ \ /`""-.`\ | ; | `.-|\_/ | ; ' | \-._ / | | / |`--'| : ;_\_ /| |/ /\|, ) __..; `----' :`.`|/ / / | | ; .' `\' ; \/ : _ : : / / : : _.'`.__.' | fsc \ _.' \ / | | / `---.._ | `\ `.____ \ / | `------' \__|_,' >The Speaker The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead. As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him." -<>- A good-ole-redneck boy staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up, pulled down his pants and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway, then managed to find a large full box of band aids before proceeding to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed. In the morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You were drunk again last night!!!" Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and replied: "Now Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?" "Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the broken whiskey bottle glass at the bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house, your bloodshot eyes, and all that blood in the bed, but, mostly.... it's all those band aids stuck on the mirror downstairs -<>- >Effective Immediately: New Company Policy Dress Code: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. Toilet Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company mental health policy. Lunch Break: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that is all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. The Management Team -<>- >Reasons to Go to Work Naked Your boss is always yelling "I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!" Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. You want to see if it's like the dream. So that -- with a little help from Muzak -- you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. Splattering grease from deep fryer is really hard to get out of your uniform. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. -<>- _.,_ ,-'.' .`-, ;; '. ' `. ;` - _ _,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, - *click* ,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \ ___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. ) __,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__ `---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/ //\)(/ `-\.-. | `-' ( .-; | | ,. `-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ / `~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`) // / /_ `/ ( `/ `-' mic Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl." The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit." So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?" Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance." So the man humbly returns to his friend. "So what did she say?" asks the friend. The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather 'bleep' in her pants." -<>- >You'll Get Your Chance in Court A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" -<>- __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' >Cheap & Simple Ways To Ward Off Burglars ** The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations. ** Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious! ** Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"? ** Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are! ** To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck... ** Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again... -<>- >"Quickie" , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." -<>- _A .'`"`'. / , , \ | <\^/> | | < (_) >| /====\ (.--._ _.--.) |\ -`\- /| |(_.- >-.)| \__.-'^'._/ |\ . / _.'\ '----'|'-. _.-' O ;-.__.' \O `o. /o \ \/-.-\/| \ jgs| ;, '.|\| / "Police Test" A young man was taking a verbal test to join the local police force. The question asked, "If you were driving a police car, alone on a lonely road at night, and were being chased by a gang of criminals driving sixty miles an hour, what would you do?" The young man answered without a second's thought: "Seventy!" -<>- ________________ \ __ / __ \_____()_____/ / ) '============` / / #---\ /---# / / (# @\| |/@ #) / / \ (_) / / / |\ '---` /| / / _______/ \\_____// \____/ o_| / \ / \ / / o_| / | o| / o_| \ / | _____ | / / \ \ / | |===| o| / /\ \ \ | | \@/ | / / \ \ \ | |___________o|__/----) \ \/ | ' || --) \ | |___________________|| --) \ / | o| '''' | \__/ | | | "DON'T CROSS ME... !" Rosebud >"Ways NOT To Start Your Police Report" It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ... The names contained in this report have been changed to protect the innocent ... The mayor then made an illegal left hand turn onto Mulraney at which point I opened fire ... Before I get into the details, I've got a few "shout- outs" for my homeys in the command staff ... It was so dark and wet that night you could almost eat the mist. The radio call penetrated the eerie silence with such piercing intensity that for a moment, I was sure I'd lost my mind ... Got call. Responded. Arrested bad guy. The end. Mye pertnar an eye wher on petrol wen we seen a man act suspishushly... The suspect then tried to assault me by repeatedly slamming his face into my fist ... A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ... ================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: |><|~|><| /(((9)))\ //) -_- (\\ (((( ._. )))) ))))---(((( ((((`---')))) (___|xXxXx|___) \ | | / / ^ ^ ^ \ / \ (_._._._._._) \ | / ( | ) | | | hjw |-|-| /`-^-'\ (__,^.__) >The Middle Wife How would you like to be this teacher? (A grammar school teacher from Miami remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students). I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two children myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own first-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a child, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some guaranteed entertainment. Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Children bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, and pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome. One day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing child, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The children are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, "Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the child is doing this hysterical duck walk; holding her back and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This child is sitting on the floor with her little hands miming water flowing away. "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe. "They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff. They said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there for him to do. " Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along. -<>- _ \`*-. ) _`-. . : `. . : _ ' \ ; *` _. `*-._ `-.-' `-. ; ` `. :. . \ . \ . : .-' . ' `+.; ; ' : : ' | ; ;-. ; ' : :`-: _.`* ; [bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*' `*-* `*-* `*-*' >All about cats today: From Kelli. (& I won't admit how many of these I do!) Does Your Cat Own You? /\ \ \ \ \ / / / / _\ \_/\/\ / * \@@ = | |Y/ | |~ \ /_\ / \\ // ||| _|||_ ( / \ )-Skorch 1. Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them? 2. Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress? 3. Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month? 4. Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand? _.---. |\---/| / ) ca| ------------; |-/ /|foo|--- ) (' / `---' ===========( ,'========== || _ | | || o/ ) | | o || ( ( / ; || \ `._/ / || `._ /| || |\ _/|| __||_____.' ) |__||____________ ________\ | |_________________ \ \ `-. `-`---' hjw 5. Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter? 6. Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have? 7. Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move? 8. Do you kiss your cat on the lips? , ,-. _,---._ __ / \ / ) .-' `./ / \ ( ( ,' `/ /| \ `-" \'\ / | `. , \ \ / | /`. ,'-`----Y | ( ; | ' | ,-. ,-' | / | | ( | hjw | / ) | \ `.___________|/ `--' `--' 9. Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your spoon? 10. Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat? 11. Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it? 12. Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator? /\____/\ __ .' """" `,-' `--.__ __,- : - - ; " :: `-. -.__ ,-sssss `._ `' _,'" ,'~~~::`.sssss-. |ssssss ,' ,_`--'_ __,' :: ` `.ssssss| |sssssss `-._____~ `,,'_______,---_;; ssssss| |ssssssssss `--'~{__ ____ ,'ssssss| `-ssssssssssssssssss ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssss.-' `---.sssssssssssssssssssss.---' Susie Oviatt 13. Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote? 14 .Did you buy a videotape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat? 15. Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in? 16. Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date? . ,. T."-._..---.._,-"/| l|"-. _.v._ (" | [l /.'_ \; _~"-.`-t Y " _(o} _{o)._ ^.| j T ,--. T ] \ l ( /-^-\ ) ! ! \. \. "~" ./ /c-..,__ ^r- .._ .- .-" `- . ~"--. > \. \ ] ^. \ 3 . "> . Y -Row ,.__.--._ _j \ ~ . ; | ( ~"-._~"^._\ ^. ^._ I . l "-._ ___ ~"-,_7 .Z-._ 7" Y ; \ _ /" "~-(r r _/_--._~-/ / /,.--^-._ / Y "-._ '"~~~>-._~]>--^---./____,.^~ ^.^ ! ~--._ ' Y---. \./ ~~--._ l_ ) \ ~-._~~~---._,____..--- \ ~----"~ \ \ 17. Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse? 18. Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat sign the card? 19. Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up? 20. Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television? (`. ) ) ( ( \ \ \ \ .-' `-. / `. ( ) `-._ , _ ) ,' (.\--'( \ ( ) / \ \ \_( / ( <6 (6 \_)))\ ( `._ .:Y)__ ''' \ `-._.'`---^_))) `-._ ))) ``` ``` hjw 21. Do you microwave your cat's food? Prepare it from scratch? 22. Do you climb out of bed over the headboard or foot board, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat? 23. When you are preparing to leave for the day, do you seek out each cat and inform them of your anticipated return time? 24. Do you sleep with no pillow under your head, because the cat wants to sleep on it? , \)\_ / '. .---._ =P ^ ` '. `--. / \ .-'( \ | (.-' )-..__> , ; (_.--`` (__.-/ / .-.__.-'.' jgs '-...-' 25. Do you stand at the computer because the cat is sleeping on the chair? 26. Do you make sure there's plenty of kitty litter in the house, even though you may run out of toilet paper? 27. At the store, do you pick out the cat food before you pick out anything for yourself? 28. Do you go to sleep sitting up in bed because you were reading and the cat is curled up on your lap asleep? _ |\___/| \\ ) ( |\_/| || =\ /= )a a `,_.-""""-. // )===( =\Y_= / \// / \ `"`\ / / | | | \ | / / \ \ /- \ \ \ / || | // /` jgs_/\_/\_/\_ _/_/\_/\_/\_((_|\((_//\_/\_/\_/\_ 29. Does it always take you longer than expected to read a magazine, because the cat keeps curling up on it while you're reading? 30. Do you frequently leave your dresser drawer open when you leave for the day, because the cat jumped into one of them and is asleep in one of the drawers? 31. Is the only comb you can find in the bathroom a flea comb? 32. Do you cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays? / ) (\__/) ( ( ) ( ) ) ={ }= / / ) `-------/ / ( / \ | ,'\ , ,' `-'\ ,---\ | \ _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) hjw (_/ 33. Does your cat "insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelette made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout? 34 .Do you have pictures of your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of cat owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets, by the way.) 35. When people call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well? 36. Do you accept dates only with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along? * * __ * ,db' * * ,d8/ * * * 888 `db\ * * `o`_ ** * * * _ * * / ) * (\__/) * ( ( * ,-.,-.,) (.,-.,-.,-.) ).,-.,-. | @| ={ }= | @| / / | @|o | _j__j__j_) `-------/ /__j__j__j_ ________( /___________ | | @| \ || o|O | @| |o | |,'\ , ,'"| | | | hjw vV\|/vV|`-'\ ,---\ | \Vv\hjwVv\//v _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) (_/ 37. When someone new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them? 38. Do you keep old, empty pizza boxes on the counter instead of throwing them away, because the cat likes to sleep in it? ============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) My Catty Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catlife.html Cat In A Box http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html Cat Motivational Posters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catposters.html Proud Of Our Troops 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops4.html Humor With The Troops 2! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor2.html Daily With The Troops 2! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily2.html When Artists Get Bored http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored.html Best Parents http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : Rocky and Bullwinkle http://tinyurl.com/2cskftr UNdata http://data.un.org/ image forensics ; error level analysis http://tinyurl.com/23w8ded photo tampering throughout history http://tinyurl.com/3ac7esb --- ...Interesting! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Gun Control Witness http://www.buffaloschips.com/gbvcvf.htm Gunslinger http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdsdfe.htm Half Time Show http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvbfdf.htm Hammer Guy http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdff.htm Happy Penguin http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdreree.htm BMW http://www.buffaloschips.com/4if2e2d.htm BMW Bummer http://www.buffaloschips.com/i4uf2de.htm Bobsled http://www.buffaloschips.com/23iurh.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tomb- stone: What are you looking at?" - Margaret Smith "Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug." - Jon Lithgow "Oh, I can't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. If I use them I break out in handcuffs." --Actor and reformed addict ROBERT DOWNEY JRR. "A police officer in New Zealand had to handcuff a sheep after it attacked him. He said it was the only way to keep the animal from attacking him at least, that's the story he told them when they found him with a handcuffed sheep." --Jay Leno "The other night, Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon renewed their wedding vows in a private ceremony and the Village People played at their wedding reception. The lead singer of the Village People said it was nice for once to be the normal people at a party." --Conan O'Brien "Before I became a mother I was such a free spirit. I used to say, 'No man will ever dominate me.' Now I have a six- year-old little master." --Sully Diaz A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? 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