All Part Of The Job And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ __..--. _.._ _..--''_______|-._____ ______________________|`` __``--.._ '-.-..---..---..---..--''.---..---..---..---..---..---..---.-' |_::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___::___| |________________________________________________________| '.--.':'.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' '.--.' |''|.|.|''|-. |''| |''| |''| |''| |''|.|.|''| |''|.| |''| | |''| |''| |''| |''| |''| |.|''| |''|.|.|''| | |''| |''| |''| |''| _,|''|.|.|''| |''|.| |''|.| |''| |''| |''| |''|/ .|''| |.|''| |''|.|.|''| |_|''|`.__|''|,--'|''|``-.|''| |''|.|.|''| |''|.| |''| |.|''| | |''| __|''| ||''|. |''| |.|''| |''|.|.|''| | |''| | |''| | |''| ||''| |''|.|.|''| |''|.| |''|.| |''| | |''| | |''| ||''| .|''| |.|''| |''|.|.|''| | |''| |__|''|_|__|''|___||''| |''|.|.|''| |''|_|_|__| |.|''|' |''| |''| |''|-._|''| |.|''| |'/ )| | || |''| |''| |''| |''| |''|'|.|''| .-'|`-' | | ||--''''----''''----''''----''''---''''---''''-. .'---|| | | |,''--.,-------------------.----------------------'. '-----|| | | / - - - - - - - - ,---. - \-----------------------' || | | : _ _,---._ _ _ _ _`._.'_ _ : SSt ||_|_|_\ _ `---' _ _ _ ,._ _ _ _ / `--------------'--`-------' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ *~* Our Hearts And Prayers go out to those affected by the horrific church shooting Sunday in Texas. May God wrap them in His arms giving them strength and comfort through Jesus Christ our Lord. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and families of today’s murderous attack in Sutherland Springs, Texas. This horrible act of evil occurred as the victims and their families were in their place of sacred worship. We cannot put into words the pain and grief we all feel, and we cannot begin to imagine the suffering of those who lost the ones they loved. Our hearts are broken. But in dark times such as these, Americans do what we do best: we pull together. We join hands. We lock arms. And through the tears and the sadness, we stand strong. My Administration is providing its full support to the state and local authorities investigating this horrible crime. I have spoken with Governor Abbott, and we offer our thanks to the first responders who ultimately stopped the suspect and rendered immediate and lifesaving aid to the victims of this shooting. I will continue to follow developments closely. All of America is praying to God to help the wounded and the families – we will never leave their side." - President Donald J. Trump, November 5, 2017 About Half the Victims of Texas Church Shooting Were Children https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/texas-church-shooting -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This red hot new page is from our friends LouiseAu, PatDeE, and Victor. It is one that is sure to delight all our animal and nature lovers and remind all of us how awesome our God is. Check it out here... __ / \`\ __ | \ `\ /`/ \ \_/`\ \-"-/` /\ \ | | \ | (d b) \_/ / \ ,".|.'.\_/.'.|.", / /\' _|_ '/\ \ | / '-`"`-' \ | | | | | | \ \ / / | jgs \ \ \ / / / `"`\ : /'"` `""`""` Incredible Wildlife Photos 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildlife3.html --- ...Wow! Remarkable! Thanks My Friends! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () Mr Smith was seated comfortably in his living room one evening when a rock crashed through the window and landed at his feet, amidst a shower of splintered glass. To the rock was attached a note: "Unless you pay us £10,000 according to instructions, we will kidnap your wife." After some thought, Mr Smith sat down at his desk and penned a reply: Gentlemen, Your rock of the above date has been received. I don't have £10,000 at this time. However, please keep in touch, as your proposition interests me. J. Smith -<>- A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have a darn good explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on." The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night!" -<>- Israel's economy is in a bad way, inflation is getting higher and immigrants are flooding in from all over the world. Problems, problems, problems, but what should they do? So the Knesset holds a special session to come up with a solution. After several hours of talk without progress, one member, Yitzhak, stands up and says, "Quiet everyone, I've got it, I've got the solution to all our problems. We'll declare war on the United States." Everyone starts shouting at once. "You're nuts! That's crazy!" "Hear me out!" says Yitzhak. "We declare war, we lose; the United States do what they always do when they defeat a country. They rebuild everything; our highways, airports, shipping ports, schools, hospitals, factories, and loan us money, and send us food aid. Our problems would be over." "Sure," says Benny, another minister, "that's if we lose - but what if we win?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 6 is Marooned without a Compass Day and Saxophone Day November 7 is Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day and U.S. General Election Day - first Tuesday of the month after first Monday of month November 8 is Cook Something Bold Day and Dunce Day November 9 is Chaos Never Dies Day, Forget-Me-Not Day and USMC Day November 11 is Veteran's Day November 12 is Chicken Soup for the Soul Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _|_ | / \ //_\\ //(_)\\ |/^\| ,%%%% // \\ ,@@@@@@@, ,%%%%/%%% // \\ ,@@@\@@@@/@@, @@@%%%\%%//%%%// === \\ @@\@@@/@@@@@ @@@@%%%%\%%%%%// =-=-= \\@@@@\@@@@@@;%#####, @@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######, @@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/#### '@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####; @@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'###### '@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//#### || || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###' || || |_|__|__|_| || || || || ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| || jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___ >Sunday School As he returned home from school one day, my seven-year-old son announced: "I want to go to Sunday school." Pleased, I told him that I'd find one for him. Later he said: "Oh, boy, I can't wait to go to Sunday school. One day sounds so much better than five." -<>- >At the Restaurant My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table. Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!" The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!" -<>- >Snoring The little girl's father fell asleep on the sofa and began to snore. The child ran out into the kitchen and shouted,"Mommy,come quick, Daddy's boiling." -<>- >It's a Surprise A three-year-old was helping wrap a present for her father. While they were wrapping, her mother kept reminding her daughter about keeping the present a secret so it would be a surprise. After the present was wrapped, she proudly put it on the table. When her father came home he saw the present immediately. He asked the little girl, "What is it?" "I can't tell." she said proudly, with a look towards mom. "It's a surprise." "Can I shake it and guess what's inside?" asked Dad. "No," she replied, "shirts don't rattle." -<>- >Christmas Gift Figuring that her four-year-old son Kevin was listening in the next room, Janet decided to tell her husband Don the latest Christmas gift she had bought the boy by spelling out the words "fire truck" Don nodded and said, "I think it would be a great Christmas gift." From the other side of the wall, they heard Kevin yell, "I don't want letters for Christmas!" ========================================================= \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >-->Military SMILES From Readers Digest: When the sergeant told our new commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged commander demanded to know just how pregnant she was. The sergeant’s reply: “Completely, sir.” -<>- The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up. “How old are you?” a tenant asked. “I’m 81 years old,” he answered. The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?” - Thomas Clements, Catonsville, Maryland -<>- “Next time I send a darn fool, I'll go myself.” —Sgt. Louis Cukela, reportedly said at the Battle of Belleau Wood during World War I -<>- My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?” Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.” - Marian Babula, Penn Run, Pennsylvania -<>- When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. - Comedian Dick Gregory -<>- During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had “artistic” abilities. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. Then the sergeant announced that everyone would get a three-day pass - except me. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldier’s name onto his Army-issued underwear. -Steven Silver, Scarsdale, New York -<>- The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husband’s first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from his sister. It was carefully encased in a Tupperware container and came with this note: “Dick, when you’re finished, can you mail back my container?” - Kathy Wilson, Chaska, Minnesota -<>- We were inspecting several lots of grenades. While everyone was concentrating on the task at hand, I held up a spare pin and asked, “Has anyone seen my grenade?” - SMSgt. Dan Powell, from rallypoint.com -<>- The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com: • Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas • Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes • Had a new guy conduct a “boom test” on a howitzer by yelling “Boom!” down the tube in order to “calibrate” it • Ordered a private to bring back a five-gallon can of dehydrated water (in fact, the sergeant just wanted an empty water can) -<>- My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, “How did you know the war was over?” He replied, “When they stopped shooting at me.” - Lynette Combs, Norfolk, Virginia -<>- In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. Trask (his last name) used that heritage to lord it over me. But I had the last laugh. One night, he returned to the dorm in his perfectly pressed uniform, his newly acquired name tag in his hand. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. - Gary Severson, Nooksack, Washington -<>- TRUE OR FALSE? 1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. 4) At the real-life Topgun program—the one the film was based on— there is a $5 fine for any staffer who references or quotes the movie. 5) The Franco-Prussian War ended in a stalemate and had to be settled by a winner-take-all game of backgammon played by the two countries’ prime ministers. . . . . . . . . . . Answers: 1-T; 2-F; 3-T; 4-T; 5-F ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) _ //\ | \/ ||~ _ _ ||_ [ L___I ] | /\ | ... | ,@\\/ ,@@@, ,@@@@@, | ::: | @, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@@@"| ''' | jgs "@@@@@" "@@@@@" "@@@@" '=========' >SMILES The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if we send someone out to give you an estimate?" "Not at all," my son responded. "When would be a good time?" the salesman asked. "As soon as I dig a basement," he replied. ---------- 3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!" ---------- Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river (look, my suit's still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes." ---------- OK, it's official: I'm getting old. The other day I was walking back to my car from the grocery store. Coming into the store was this smoking hot 19, maybe 20 year old, blonde. MY, she was hot! My thought? "I wonder what her mother looks like?” ---------- Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years." ---------- "So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!" --------- A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it. "I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said. "But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied. Smiling, the boy said, "I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!" ---------- A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew." "Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?" "Just once," the man replied. The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?" And the man said, "I was looking for my father." ---------- A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette with whom she worked at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you, and he will 'fix it.' Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month later, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!" ---------- Business Man in 1st Class to a very gorgeous Flight Attendant: "What's your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, Sir!" Business Man: "Lovely name, any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close." Business Man: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price." ---------- A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the woman, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The woman replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my husband did." --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) ______ _\ _~-\___ = = ==(____AA____D \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._ / o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_ `~-.__ ___..----.. ) `---~~\___________/------------````` = ===(_________D -Roland >All part of the job... and thank you for flying Qantas!! A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The Aussie mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?" The boy said, "Yes, she did". "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes, because Qantas ALWAYS pulls out on time ... and ask her to explain that to you." -<>- A Yorkshireman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked... "Wonderful!" Being the 'Kind Hearted Yorkshireman', he thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her!" ...So they walked past it again... --- ...Oh My! TeeHee! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- ­­ __ (__) | |\ | || | || |__|| | | | | | | | | -=Skydancer=- |__| \||/ \/ >YOUR Yearly Dementia Test-- only 4 questions It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 1. What do you put in a toaster? . . . . . . . . . Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else… Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink? . . . . . . . Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? . . . . . . . Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4. 4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven... Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver? . . . . . . . . Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus! If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you. PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions! --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: White House Home https://www.whitehouse.gov/ From RightAlerts http://rightalerts.com/ Trump-Hating Celebrities Can’t Cope with the ‘Orange Nightmare’ http://em.mrc.org/lNBdP000Yk6q0S0K80L040R Brokaw Slams Brazile for ‘Beyond Counter-Productive’ Clinton Exposure http://em.mrc.org/tKSq0d0NR60YQ00LB8000k5 MSNBC's Tur Interviews VA Dem Candidate, Skips Toxic Ad Spinning GOP as Vicious Killers http://em.mrc.org/v0860LN90KYSRqUkB00d000 Recall Alerts: http://tinyurl.com/ydearhf7 -<>- >From BizarreNews: A man who found himself locked overnight inside a Wisconsin store's beer cooler was cited for theft when he helped him- self to some beverages. Police said Jeremy Van Ert, 38, told officers he was shopping at the Kwik Trip store and ended up trapped in the store's cooler when employees locked it for the night at 11:50 p.m. A Kwik Trip manager said a customer told employees about 5:50 a.m. Wednesday that there appeared to be a man locked in the cooler and he left the store in a hurry when employees opened the door. The manager said the man had an 18 ounce bottle of Icehouse Beer and three cans of malt beverage Four Loko while locked in the cooler and had knocked over a stack of boxes, destroying three cans of beer. The man was cited for retail theft for not paying for the beverages when he left the store. Police said Van Ert was arrested on a probation hold from an unrelated case. Police said the conditions of Van Ert's probation banned him from consuming alcohol. -<>- If you rob a road side wiener stand at gun-point, what is the most 'poetic' form of justice you could think of? A 19-year-old man who allegedly held up a South Side Chicago hot dog stand shot himself in the weenie while running away. Terrion Pouncy was arrested at the Oak Lawn hospital not long after he was found slumped on the steps of a home across the street from a West Pullman restaurant that Chicago Police say he robbed at gunpoint about 6 a.m. on Halloween. Pouncy was unable to run further because of the pain of a self-inflicted gunshot wound suffered when tried to adjust the .38-caliber pistol in his waistband as he ran off. Pouncy had pulled out the gun and demanded cash from two employees, pressing the gun to the head of a 39-year-old worker. Still pointing the gun at the workers, Pouncy stooped over to collect the cash, Antonietti said. Shifting the gun in his waistband as he ran out, he apparently pulled the trigger, firing a bullet that struck him in his privates. Surveillance cameras captured video and audio of the robbery, and showed Pouncy struggling to make it across the the street, stop on a bench, and make his way to the steps of a nearby house before collapsing. -<>- *-- The Old 'I Thought It Was Trash' Defense --* A homeowner may face a lawsuit from a woman who hurt her back while she was stealing from his property. 54-year-old Julie Ann Upright of Florida was arrested after being caught stealing decorative blocks from a house in Port Richey. Officers arrested Upright after they found 42 decorative cement blocks worth $420 in her vehicle. The homeowner told officers that Upright stole the blocks that were part of a remodeling project for his home. The blocks were placed in the family's front yard about 4 feet from the road, the owner said. Upright claimed that she thought the blocks were placed close to the sidewalk because they were trash. After she was taken into custody, Upright threatened to sue the homeowner because she injured her back on his property while loading the stolen blocks into her vehicle, police said. *--- Florida Woman Charged with DUI On Horse ---* A 53-year-old woman riding a horse down a busy Florida high- way has been arrested and charged with driving drunk. Sheriff's officials said in a news release that someone called 911 about a woman, who appeared confused and possibly in danger. When deputies arrived they found Donna Byrne riding her horse in the road. Officers did a sobriety test and said she gave breath samples that registered blood alcohol level of .161. Byrne is charged with DUI and animal neglect for endangering and failing to provide proper protection for the horse. *- Man Smashes Record 302 Walnuts in 55 Seconds -* A kung fu master in China broke a Guinness World Record when he used his bare hands to smash 302 walnuts in 55 seconds. A video recorded in Foshan City, Guangdong Province, shows kung fu expert Li Weijun using his bare hands to break 302 walnuts in 55 seconds. The martial artist's feat bested the previous record of 212 walnuts in one minute, which a man in India set weeks earlier. The accomplishment has been submitted to Guinness for official recognition. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) _.-------------. .-'' .;'| ;==============;+' | | | | | (} (} {) (} | | | | | | .==========. | | | | _ .'"+_/)| | | | |( \( (`( | | | | | \- `. -)| | | | | ( ( _ )| | | | | `--' `' | | ; | `----------' | .' | |.' `--------------' ko1 >CLEANING YOUR OVEN - The easiest way EVER! Begin by preheating the oven to 150 degrees (or your lowest setting available). While the oven is heating, put on a pot of water to boil. Once the oven has reached 150, turn it off and pour 1 cup of ammonia into a heat safe bowl or baking dish and place it on the top rack of the oven. Place the pot of boiling water on the bottom rack, close the oven door, and leave them both in the oven overnight. The next morning, open the oven and remove both the bowl of ammonia and the pot of water, keep the ammonia – you’ll use it later. Remove the racks and leave the oven door open to air out for 15 minutes. Add 1-2 teaspoons of dishwashing liquid to the ammonia, along with 4 cups of warm water, and using a heavy-duty nylon scrubbing pad dipped in the ammonia mixture, begin to wipe away the softened grease and grime along the sides and bottom of the oven. It should be a fairly easy job at this point. Wear some kitchen gloves, since ammonia can be caustic to skin. Rinse/wipe clean with a damp cloth. --- ...Thanks Bunni! For me, I've found that using the commercial Easy Off oven cleaner as directed is about the best method for my oven and racks. First spray the areas of the oven you want to be cleaned. The racks too if needed. Try not to inhale the spray. Let it set the required time with oven door closed. Use gloves and remove the racks to the sink if they were sprayed. I have trouble with my knees so I use a damp mob to wipe out the stove. Clean the mop as needed rinsing it in the sink. After the Easy Off residue is all wiped out, place paper towels over the mop head to further wipe and dry the oven. The racks can be wiped and cleaned in the sink and replaced. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .--------------. |~ ~| |H____________H| |.------------.| ||::.. __ || |'--------'--''| | '. ______ .' | | _ |======| _ | |(_)|======|(_)| |___|======|___| [______________] |##| |##| jrei '""' '"" There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep half of them flying at all times." -<>- On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan." "It's the one on fire," he replied. -<>- >Conflicting Proverbs Actions speak louder than words. The pen is mightier than the sword. Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost. Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth. A silent man is a wise one. A man without words is a man without thoughts. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Clothes make the man. Don't judge a book by its cover. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Better safe than sorry. The bigger, the better. The best things come in small packages. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind. What will be, will be. Life is what you make it. Cross your bridges when you come to them. Forewarned is forearmed. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. One man's meat is another man's poison. With age comes wisdom. Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings. The more, the merrier. Two's company; three's a crowd It's no wonder we're all confused. -<>- Doctor Jones likes to stop into his local bar after work for an almond daiquiri. One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead. The doctor takes a sip and says, "Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?" And Dick says, "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc." -<>- The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? Death. What's that...a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. (1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day. (2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. (3) You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, play golf, you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School. (4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby; (5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday! -<>- My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves sane by repeating, "As long as we have each other, we don't need anything else." But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn't afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it. "That's just great!" she shouted. "Now there's no entertain- ment in our bedroom at all!" ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: _____ / \ Hmmm...where did I see (____/\ ) that toilet roll? ...... |___ U?(____ _\L. | \ ___ / /"""\ /.-' | |\ | ( / _/u | \___|_)_| \| \\ / / \_(___ __) | \\ / / | | | | ) _/ / ) | | _\__/.-' /___( | | _/ __________/ \ | | // / ( ) | | ( \__|___\ \______ /__|____| \ (___\ |______)_/ \ |\ \ \ / \ | \__ ) )___/ \ \ )/ /__( ___ | /_//___| \_________ _/ ( / OUuuu \ `----'(____________) Michael Reeung >Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** Today's Motivation: “There is nothing worth more than this day.” --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “The best things in life aren't things.” --Art Buchwald Ideas are funny things. They don't work unless you do. “Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses?” --David Brin “You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.” --Rwandan Proverb Camping isn't what it used to be. 'Honey, I'm going to go get some firewood, do you have change for a twenty?' -- Nick Arnette He was the world's only armless sculptor. He put the chisel in his mouth and his wife hit him on the back of the head with a mallet. -- Fred Allen Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. -- Gene Fowler I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. -- Rita Rudner I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. -- unknown I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade in value. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. -<>- .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `" >A Visit To Doctor Clueless ** "Well, what have we here...?" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. ** "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" I'm stalling for time. ** "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. ** "Let me check your medical history." I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you. ** "Well, now, we have some good news and some bad news." The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. ** "This should be taken care of right away." I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. ** "Let me schedule you for some lab tests." I have a forty percent interest in the lab. ** "Let's see how it develops." Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that really needs to be cured. ** "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. ** "That's quite a nasty looking wound." I think I'm going to throw up. ** "This may smart a little." Last week two patients almost bit off their tongues. ** "This should fix you up." The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. Hope it works... ** "Everything seems to be normal." Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. ** "I'd like to run some more tests." I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. -<>- / ) (\__/) ( ( ) ( ) ) ={ }= / / ) `-------/ / ( / \ | ,'\ , ,' `-'\ ,---\ | \ _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) hjw (_/ >Putting the Cat Out A couple is going out for an evening on the town. When they are almost ready to go, the wife tells her husband not to forget to put out the cat. However, after a Taxi arrives and as they go out the door the cat darts back in the house. Not wanting the cat shut in the house while they are out the husband goes back in to get the cat as the wife goes and gets in the cab. The wife not wanting it known that the house will be empty while they are out explains to the cab driver, "He is just going upstairs to say good-bye to mother." _..---...,""-._ ,/}/) .'' , ``..'(/-< / _ { ) \ ; _ `. `. < a( ,' ( \ ) `. \ __.._ .: y ( <\_-) )'-.____...\ `._ //-' `. `-' /-._))) `-._))) `...' hjw A short time later the husband comes down and gets in the cab. He says, "Sorry it took so long but the stupid old thing was under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger!" -<>- >Getting Organized The patient was adamant "I gotta see the doctor right away!" When he finally stood before the good doctor in an exam room he spluttered "Doc, I gotta have a kidney transplant, a liver transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung trans...." "WAIT just a minute" interrupted the Doctor. "Just tell me why you think you need all these transplants when you appear to be in good health?" "Okay Doc," the man slowed down briefly, "my boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized." -<>- >My Mom's Rules WHEN I came back to the States after a tour of duty with the Marines in Vietnam, I stayed with my parents for a 30- day leave. Mom's rules were simple: I could come and go as I pleased, but I must let her know when I returned home each night. After one long evening with friends, I crept into the house and didn't knock on Mom's door. Late the next morning when I came down to breakfast, she glared at me with icy silence. "Look, Mom," I said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I got home safely last night, but what did you do all the time I was in Vietnam?" "Well," she replied, "at least then I knew where you were!" --Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by Bill Bruckner Provided courtesy of Reader's Digest (http://www.rd.com). -<>- >A Photo Touched up A woman brought an old picture of her deceased husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She asked the photographer if he could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on. "I forget," said she. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat." -<>- >Why Go To Church Coming out of church, Mrs. Hawkins asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is pregnant?" "I didn't even see her," admitted Mr. Hawkins. "And that dress Mrs. Jones was wearing," continued Mrs. Hawkins, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two! It was above her knees!" "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Hawkins. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Hawkins. "A lot of good it does you to go to church." -<>- >The Challenge Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Nap Time!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/naptime.html Kid Lessons!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidlessons.html Kids On God!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidsonGod.html Identity Theft!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft.html LEGO Church!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/legochurch.html Kids With Dads!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithdads.html Pucker Up, Baby!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babypucker.html Nanny Animals 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals3.html Me And My Pony!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mypony.html Kids Being Kids 4!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids4.html Parenting No-No's!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html Girl Gets New Ear!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/girlgetsear.html The REAL Mowgli!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/realmowgli.html Kids With Animals 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithanimals2.html Akiane Child Prodigy!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Dusan's Wild Life Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dusanart.html Cuddle BeBe Ragdolls!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ragdolls.html Random Acts Of Kindness!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/actsofkindness.html Rules For Raising Children!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rulesforchildren.html 9-11/US Troops Index! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html -<>- >Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/ybgrorwu -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Erix with his 'Magic Juke Box' at the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret' hosted by Patrick Sebastien. A fun show, especially if you are a fan of the 50's and 60's. Music: "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis and "Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4pggOLZ6QA There is real magic going on here. It's unbelievable. Best card trick in the world https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KrdBUFeFtY --- ...Fun and Amazing! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Axis of Idiots http://www.jdpendry.com/axis-of-idiots/ Why people live in FL?? http://tinyurl.com/kfhmjcr --- ...Wowsers! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A Japanese company created a $150 noise-canceling ramen fork to cover up slurping noises. So, if you've got 150 bucks to spend on a fork - why are you eating ramen?" -Jimmy Fallon "A fast food restaurant in Australia is celebrating Halloween by offering a hamburger in a blue bun, sprinkled with real ants and worms. Or as Arby's calls that, 'The No. 6.'" -Conan O'Brien "A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien "A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so- called 'New Yorker milkshake' which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you'll get is a coffin lid." -Seth Meyers "Amazon is introducing a new service called Amazon Key, which will allow delivery men to open your front door and put packages directly inside your house. I don't have a joke here. I just wanted to tell you how you're going to be murdered. Sleep tight, folks." -James Corden "Astronomers say they now know the approximate weight of the Milky Way. They found this out by adding 20 pounds to the Milky Way's weight on its Tinder profile." -Conan O'Brien "A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony." -Jimmy Fallon "A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine's Day gifts. A good way to tell that you've lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine's Day gift." --Jimmy Kimmel >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************