April Fool's Day Smiles... :) Shangy!
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
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you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
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================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
Just a reminder for Facebook Users:
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Please Friend me / Like Me here...
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-<>-
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This super hot tottie comes from our friends Brenda And PatDeE.
It is full of wintry beauty and wildlife sure to give you plenty of
ooos and awws! Check it out here...
. o
.
.
__O__/ _
/ / _H_ W
/ (")/
'\/\ (.)
| ( . )
( ` ( ` ( ' ` ) ( ` )
VK
Winter Wildlife!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/winter.html
---
....Very nice photography! Thank You Brenda and PatDeE!
We'll have part 2 next week!
-<>-
>We Had Lots of Great New Sharing And Caring Pages Last Month!
If You Haven't Already, Be Sure To Check Them Out!
, ----.
- - `
,__.,' \
.' *`
/ | | / **\
. / ****.
| mm | ****|
\ | ****|
` ._______ \ ****/
\ /`---'
\___(
/~~~~\
/ \
/ | \
| | \
, ~~ . |, ~~ . | |\
( |||| ) ( |||| )(,,,)`
( |||||| )-( |||||| ) | ^
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( |||||| )-( |||||| )___,'-
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` ~~ ' ` ~~ '
~AND PLEASE DO SHARE THESE WITH YOUR LOVED ONES~
Rich VS Poor!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/richvspoor.html
Paradox of Times!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/paradoxofourtimes.html
Beautiful Mexico!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulmexico.html
Sgt. Reckless!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sgtreckless.html
87 Year Old Grandma Gymnast!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grandmagymnast.html
Breathtaking Photos!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/breathtaking.html
Look Who's Talking 6!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking6.html
Beautiful Starfish!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/starfish.html
Over The Limit!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/overthelimit.html
Only ONE Job!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob.html
Cell Phone Madness!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone.html
*~* May God Abundantly Bless ALL Of Our Sweet Contributors! Thank You!
==============================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Caring For The Blind
Paddy was working in a home for the blind when one day, he decided he
was gonna go to the country side and visit a lady friend of his.
Just as luck would have it, three of the blind people he looked after
begged him to take them with for the ride, just to get out to the
country and breath the crisp, fresh air. All attempts to dissuade
them were fruitless when Paddy came up with a plan to keep them busy
while he was inside with the lady friend.
_...._
Anyway, so off they went and after a long .' \ _'.
drive finally arrived at the cottage where /##\__/##\_\
upon they were greeted by Paddy's friend. |\##/ \##/ |
Before going inside he gave his three |/ \__/ \ _|
blind friends a soccer ball with a bell \ _/##\__/#/
inside so that they could play a bit of jgs '.\##/__.'
kick the ball while he was busy. Paddy, `""""`
sure that this would keep them out of any
trouble left them and went inside.
About two hours later Paddy decided to check on his friends and
wondered outside. To his absolute horror there were his three blind
friends being loaded into the back of a police van, handcuffs and
all. Paddy rushed to his car and followed the van to the Police
station. Absolutely dumbfounded as to what his blind friends could
have done that would warrant them being arrested, he questioned the
arresting officer.
"Well sir, its and open and shut case. Those three gentleman kicked
an ice cream man to death!"
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)
Mysterious Phrases Explained
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you
understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These
special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD
dissertation or academic paper.
"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...I didn't look up the original reference.
"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...These data are practically
meaningless.
"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it
published.
"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...The other
results didn't make any sense.
"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...This is the prettiest graph.
"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...I might get around
to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...Once
"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...Twice
"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...Thrice
"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...I think.
"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...A couple of others think so, too.
"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"...Wrong.
"ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...Rumour has it.
"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...A wild guess.
"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A
COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...I don't
understand it.
"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...They don't understand it
either.
"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND
TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"...Mr. Blotz did the work and
Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...A totally useless
topic selected by my committee.
"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION IN
THIS FIELD"...I quit.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
April 1 is One Cent Day
April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
April 3 is Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day
April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day
April 5 is Go For Broke Day
April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day More Info on Sorry Charlie Day
April 7 is No Housework Day
=======================================================
Murphy says:
Never argue with a fool,
people may not know the difference...
_,
^(o.).__.
/ , o o)
/ `u-u',._/
( _\ \ `|-|
----`.__)------| |-------
`-' Ojo98
>-->APRIL FOOL'S DAY Smiles....
April Fool’s Day is one of the best days of the year. On no other day
are you “legally” allowed to play jokes and pranks on your friends,
family and co-workers and have a built-in excuse. Some people will go
to great lengths to pull off elaborate gags on those around them but
sometimes it’s just as fun to play smaller, simpler pranks on as many
people as possible throughout the day. That’s where we come in. Here
are 50 pranks you can play on people with very little effort, yet still
reap much joy out of the end results.
50. Borrow someone’s cell phone and change the language setting to a
foreign language.
49. Change the language for Google on someone’s computer.
48. Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
47. Swap the signs on the men’s and ladies’ rest rooms.
46. Hide scented air fresheners all over someone’s office.
45. Add food coloring to milk that comes in a cardboard container.
44. Add food coloring to the windshield washer fluid of someone’s car.
43. Switch around random keys on someone’s keyboard who isn’t a very
good typist.
42. Switch the Push and Pull signs on a set of doors.
41. Hide food in a trash can and when someone comes by grab some and
eat it.
40. Replace Oreo cream-filling with toothpaste and offer one to someone.
39. Dip the tips of someone’s cigarettes in Orajel so their lips will
go numb.
38. Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act
like nothing’s different.
37. Cup some water in your hand and pretend to sneeze on the back of
someone’s head.
36. Take something from someone’s office and leave them a ransom note.
35. Add several odd appointments with alarms set to go off during the
day to a co-worker’s Outlook calendar.
34. Hide all of the desktop icons on someone’s computer and replace the
monitor’s wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
33. Put a “Please Use Other Door” sign on the entrance to your office
building if it only has one entrance.
32. Put a balloon on the tailpipe of a someone’s car so it will pop
when they start their car.
31. Glue the headset of someone’s phone down to the cradle.
30. Take the door knob off a door and put it back on backwards, then
lock it and leave the door open.
29. Put plastic wrap around the door frame of a commonly used door.
28. Cover a toilet seat with plastic wrap.
27. Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and
shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while
pretending to pee.
26. Leave a note on someone’s car apologizing for an accident that
never actually happened.
25. Glue all the eggs into the carton.
24. Hard boil all the eggs in the carton and place them back in the
refrigerator.
23. Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won’t
suds up.
22. Turn every setting in someone’s car to the maximum: the heat, the
radio, the wipers, the seats, etc.
21. Place a small piece of Post-it note over the ball under someone’s
computer mouse so that it won’t work.
20. Switch the handles on the refrigerator to the side that doesn’t
open.
19. Conference call two people then don’t say anything, just listen.
18. Place a ‘house for sale’ ad in the newspaper for someone’s home.
17. Paint the tips of someone’s pen and pencil with clear nail polish
so none of them work.
16. Hide a small radio in the ceiling tiles above someone’s desk and
turn it on very softly.
15. Fill someone’s hair-dryer with baby powder.
14. Put marbles in the hubcaps of someone’s car.
13. Leave cryptic notes warning someone of an impending prank then do
nothing all day.
12. Rubber band the sprayer on the kitchen sink into the “on” position.
11. Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a
rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.
10. Pour vegetable oil on the exhaust of someone’s car so it will smoke
when started up.
9. Hide an alarm clock in someone’s bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.
8. Remove the shower head and place a Lifesavers candy in it, then put
the head back on.
7. Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then
put the head back on.
6. Rearrange somebody’s drawers or file cabinets in a different order.
5. Tape magnets to the bottom of a cup, put it on the roof of your car
and drive around.
4. Put food coloring in the hand soap dispenser.
3. Put an ad in the paper for a garage sale at someone’s house
beginning at 6 a.m.
2. Buy some underwear, write a co-worker’s name in them, then leave
them on the floor of the office bathroom.
1. Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone’s computer.
From:
http://guyism.com/humor/april-fools-day-pranks-jokes-gags-tricks.html
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friends KarenF and LouiseA :)
_
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>April Fool's Day
The first of April, some do say,
Is set apart for All Fools' Day.
But why the people call it so,
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.
-<>-
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jps
>Foolish Questions
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out"?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are
over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere,
you have to touch it to make sure?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell,
is he homeless or naked?
Why do they lock gas station restrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How much deeper would oceans be
if sponges didn't live there?
-<>-
>Real Fools
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take
was too small so he tied up the store clerk and worked
the counter himself for three hours until police showed
up and grabbed him.
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but
unfortunately he forgot to keep his hand in his pocket.
If quitters never win,
and winners never quit,
what fool came up with
"quit while you're ahead"?
---
...LOL! It must have been a sore loser! Thanks KarenF and LouiseA!
-<>-
[An ET-AHEM!]
>The Attorney and the Little Old Lady
One April night....In her own words
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up
on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my
Abner died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my chest.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that
I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Heck, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"
And that's when I shot him, that little jerk-off tease!
---
...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks KarenF!
-<>-
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>A prank
After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday,
the young farm boy decided to play a prank.
He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg
with a brightly colored one.
A few minutes later the rooster walked in and saw all
the colored eggs, then stormed outside and beat up on
the peacock.
-<>-
A Japanese airline has started asking passengers to go to the toilet
before boarding in a bid to reduce carbon emissions.
All Nippon Airways (ANA) claims that empty bladders mean lighter
passengers, a lighter aircraft and thus lower fuel use.
Airline staff will be present at boarding gates in terminals to ask
passengers waiting to fly to relieve themselves before boarding, The
Independent reported.
ANA hopes the weight saved will lead to a five-tonne reduction in carbon
emissions over the course of 30 days.
The airline began the policy on October 1, according to Japan's NHK
television.
Although it is intended as an experiment lasting one month and 42
flights, the trial may be extended if it is well-received by passengers
and if results are positive.
Based on an average human bladder capacity of 15oz, if 150 passengers
relieved themselves on board an aircraft, this would amount to
63.7kg of waste.
Nope, this one's true!!!
---
...Amazing! Why Ask? I always go before I go! TeeHee! Thanks KarenF!
==================================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
>Civilian Clothes
My friend received a package from the Navy containing the civilian
clothes her son was wearing when he left for boot camp. Not wanting to
open the box, she put it away. This amused her husband, who accused her
of being a sentimental old fool.
"I'm not sentimental," she shot back. "I'm realistic. His shoes, socks
and underwear have been inside that box for two weeks, and I'm not
going to be the one to open it!"
-<>-
>College
One man was talking to another at the store.
He asked, "So where is that boy of yours?"
"Josh is in college," the second man replied.
"What's he taking?"
The second man grimaced, "Every cent I have."
-<>-
>Crux of the Matter
As a young lawyer working on my first big case, I was sitting in
Federal District Court watching a prominent attorney question a
witness. The attorney was trying, unsuccessfully, to elicit certain
information.
Finally the judge turned to the witness and asked a question that
prompted the appropriate response.
"Thank you, your honor," the attorney said. "How is it that you were
able to get to the crux of the matter with one question after I had
tried three times?"
"Easy," replied the judge. "I'm not paid by the hour."
-<>-
>No Power
A co-worker at my office called Tech Support with an improbable story:
She said she dropped her mouse and her PC shut down.
The tech made the trip to her desk. No question, her computer is off.
And when he punches the PC's power switch to restart it, nothing
happens.
He asked her where she dropped her mouse. She replied, "Behind the
desk."
Sure enough, she had managed to hit the on/off switch on the power
strip.
The tech told her, "Good shot."
-<>-
>Purchase
One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when
they stopped to make a purchase.
The young girl greeted the cashier with only a "Hi," then proceeded to
dig nervously in her wallet. She was having obvious trouble counting
out the correct bills and change. But rather than help, the cashier
simply stood and watched while she fumbled and mumbled her way to the
correct amount.
Finally, the transaction was completed.
As they were walking to the car, the teenager turned to her mother and
said, "That was my math tutor."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
Fillyjonk
/()))
//( oo
(/|| _ \__
/||||/ '._-'
/ \ |\
/ \ \ \_____
| \ \.___ /==,
| ='.___/=.
| )
'.______ |
(______( | ||
snd |_|| _/ | |_\
'---'--'
>Why Parents Drink
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but
had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with
one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone
number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello?'
'Is your daddy home?' he asked.
'Yes,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?' The child whispered, 'No.'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your
Mummy there?' 'Yes' 'May I talk with her?' Again the small
voice whispered, 'No'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
'Yes, ' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
'No, he's busy,' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?' 'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,' came
the whispered answer..
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through
the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, 'The search team just landed a
helicopter'
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are
they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
'ME!'
---
...LOL! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
_.---,_
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>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
>SMILES
Two Cajuns are walking down the street. One
notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down
to pick it up. He opens it, looks in the mirror and
says, "Hmm, dis person look familiar." The second Cajun
says, "Here, let me see!!" So the first Cajun hands him the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
--------------------
The jovial doctor had finished giving his female
patient a quick physical. "Well," he said cheerfully, "your heart,
your pulse, your lungs and blood pressure are all fine.
Now, let's have a look at that cute little pink thing that
gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
At that, the young woman started to unzip her skirt.
"No! Wait" the doctor said quickly.
"Keep your clothes on, it's your tongue I want to see."
--------------------
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering, and his hostess
naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a
mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which
everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you
on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the
world and died during one of them. Which one?' "
The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You
wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I
don't know much about history."
---------------------
A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is
there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
"The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man
replies, "No, just spots."
---------------------
Our first stop as new recruits was the barber's.
"Want to keep your sideburns?" he asked.
"Yes, that would be great," I said.
"Okay, I'll get you a bag to put them in."
---------------------
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their
tent under the stars and went to sleep.
In the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson and said, "Watson, look
up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes continued, "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a
few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets
like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out
there, there might also be life. Is that what you deduced?"
Holmes replied, "No, Watson. Somebody stole our tent."
----------------------
A fellow was walking along a country road when he
came upon a farmer working in his field. The man
called out to the farmer, "How long will it take
me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer.
The guy waited a bit and then started walking again.
After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the
farmer yelled out, "About 20 minutes."
"Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I
asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk
-<>-
The speed with which a woman says "nothing," when asked, "What's
wrong?" is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm
that's about to follow.
- - -
There are four types of people who read signs.
Some people learn by reading...
Some people learn by watching...
And some people learn by doing...
But.....some people just have to pee on the electric fence to see for
themselves.....
- - -
Life is all about ass! You are either: covering it, laughing it off,
kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it,
behaving like one, or living with one.
- - -
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Ok, it's official. I'm getting old. The other day I was walking back to
my car from the grocery store.
Coming into the store was this smoking hot 19, maybe 20 year old,
blonde. God, she was hot.
My thought? "I wonder what her mother looks like.
- - -
Judging by the frying pan that just flew past my head, I must have done
something wrong...I can't wait to find out what it was.
- - -
Today, I'm bored. Here it is just Saturday afternoon and I have nothing
else to do. Think I'll go to the mall, find a great parking spot and
sit in my car with my reverse lights on!
I found a real juicy spot in front of the Lawn and Garden Center store.
It is time for spring planting of flowers and shrubs. I soon had a line
of cars waiting for my parking space. There I sat pretending to read a
newspaper. I sat there in my choice parking spot with my back up lights
on. I noticed a driver who had been driving around the parking lot
looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a
handicap parking space that was open next to mine and available.
The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not
handicapped!"
Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry" I said.
"I saw your Obama bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from
a mental disorder."
- - -
True Fact!
Singapore - The toilet flushing police are near, watch out - Failure to
flush a public toilet is punishable by a fine or a prison sentence if
caught during random checks by special police.
---
...LOL! Good Ones! What a job! The toilet police! Thanks LouiseA!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
In all my years of imbibing I never knew that a few drinks
could cost this much...
The caretaker of a Pennsylvania mansion is accused of drink-
ing 52 bottles of whiskey appraised at a total $102,400.
Patricia Hill, who purchased the Scottdale mansion in 2012,
said caretaker John Saunders, 62, helped her remove and
dust off nine cases of Old Farm Pure Rye Whiskey that were
apparently concealed in the walls of the home by industrial-
ist J.P. Brennan.
"My guess is that Mr. Brennan ordered 10 cases ... pre-
Prohibition," Hill said. "I was told by his family that
family members used to greet him at the door each day with
a shot of whiskey."
Hill said she discovered after Saunders moved out that he
had apparently drank 52 of the 108 bottles of the whiskey,
which was bottled in 1912 at the West Overton Distilling
Co. She said the missing booze was appraised at a total
$102,400 by New York auction house Bonhams.
"This whole experience has shocked me," Hill said. "I was
shocked when I found them, shocked to find Mr. Saunders
drank them, and shocked when I received the appraisal. I
had just planned to preserve them."
Saunders was arrested and is now charged with receiving
stolen property and theft. However, he wasn't charged with
caretaking under the influence.
*-- Squirrels crash Easter egg hunt --*
RICHFIELD, Minn. - Organizers of an Easter egg hunt in a
Minnesota park said squirrels decided to get in on the
action and stole some of the candy-filled plastic eggs.
Nick Thompson, a recreation supervisor in Richfield,
said Saturday's event at Augsburg Park involved about
1,500 plastic eggs, 120 children and an unknown number
of thieving squirrels, the Star Tribune newspaper in
Minneapolis reported Thursday. "We tried to cover all our
bases but we weren't ready for the squirrels," Thompson
said. "We noticed them... taking our eggs away." Recreation
supervisor Ann Hoffer said she saw a squirrel scale a tree
with a plastic egg in its mouth. "I think they just saw
brightly colored objects and thought they'd go for it,"
she said. "They smelled the candy inside." Workers said
the squirrels only seemed interested in the candy-filled
eggs, ignoring those filled with toys and other inedible
prizes.
*-- School district bans dodge ball --*
WINDHAM, N.H. - A New Hampshire school district has banned
dodge ball from gym classes after parents complained about
their children being bullied during the games. The Windham
School board voted 4-1 to end dodge ball and similar "human
target" games after parents complained children were being
bullied and targeted by other students during the ball-
throwing game, WBZ-TV, Boston, reported Thursday. A special
committee formed by the district to study the issue
recommended such games be eliminated. "It's almost turning
into a nanny state," said school board member Dennis
Senibaldi, who cast the single vote against the ban.
"What happens when they replace that game with something
different that another group doesn't want to play, do we
eliminate that group of games?" Superintendent Henry
LaBranche said the school district is trying to teach
students to respect one another, and dodge ball and similar
games "create conditions inconsistent with that message."
*-- Scientists describe two-headed shark --*
EAST LANSING, Mich. - U.S. scientists have announced the
first-ever discovery of a two-headed bull shark, confirm-
ing it was a single shark with two heads, not conjoined
twins. Michigan State University researchers studying the
specimen found in the uterus of an adult bull shark taken
in the Gulf of Mexico April 7, 2011, said it was the first
record of the phenomenon known as dicephalia ever seen in
bull sharks although it has been seen before in other
species of shark. "This is certainly one of those interest-
ing and rarely detected phenomena," MSU fisheries and
wildlife Professor Michael Wagner said. "It's good that
we have this documented as part of the world's natural
history, but we'd certainly have to find many more before
we could draw any conclusions about what caused this." A
fisherman found the two-headed specimen when he cut open
the adult shark, Wagner said, and it died shortly there-
after. It would have had little, if any, chance to survive
in the wild, he said. "You'll see many more cases of
two-headed lizards and snakes," Wagner said in a university
release Monday. "That's because those organisms are often
bred in captivity, and the breeders are more likely to
observe the anomalies." An MRI scan revealed two distinct
heads, hearts and stomachs with the remainder of the body
joining together in the back half of the animal to form a
single tail, the researchers said.
*-- 'Hotel' offers the homeless experience --*
GOTHENBURG, Sweden - A Swedish "hotel" is offering
customers the chance to sleep in "rooms" including a dirty
mattress under a bridge and a sleeping bag in a public
park. Faktum Hotels in Gothenburg said the $15-per-night
accommodations, which it began offering in November, are
designed to highlight the hardships facing the city's
homeless population, The Local.se reported Monday. "We
asked several of our homeless contacts where they often
slept, then we set up our rooms," said Aaron Israelson,
editor of Faktum magazine, which runs the business. Faktum
is sold on the street by poor and homeless in Gothenburg
The "rooms," which include a dirty mattress beneath a
bridge, a sleeping bag in a park and a floor lined with
newspaper at an abandoned mill. "Few actually make it
through the night and we had a very cold, harsh winter.
But some really tried, with one woman managing to stay
for about four hours," Israelson said. Israelson said
the aim of the project is not to make money. "Our primary
mission is to spread the word about the homeless situation
in this city. Gothenburg is a tough place to be homeless,"
Israelson said.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend GloriaB :)
_|_
|
/ \
//_\\
//(_)\\
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@@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######,
@@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/####
'@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####;
@@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'######
'@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//####
|| || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###'
|| || |_|__|__|_| || || ||
|| ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| ||
jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___
>HUMOR
**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I
know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the
Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for
'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth..' (This one is my favorite)
=======
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning,
Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because
he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have
circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with
this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a
ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to
his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we
have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,
it's still out there in your pockets."
========
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step
in exhaust."
========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and
girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a
long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many
cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant
pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems
as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long
trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my
business."
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the
center of attention.
========
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the
lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor
stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday
school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting
for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in
at the last minute.. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have
to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and
Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as
much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache.....
When you open it, he collapses.....
When he sees you reading it, he faints.....
When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees......
And when you are about to forward this message....
He will try and discourage you..
I just defeated him!!! Any other takers?
---
...Oh Yeah! Good ones! Thanks GloriaB!
-<>-
>Anagrams!
This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS!
---
...TeeHee! Great ones! Thanks GloriaB!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
(.,------...__
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.' .' `, `. `. `
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jps
>TWO BOYS!!!!!!!
If this does not make your day, nothing will.
Too good not to share……
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any
mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to
see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy
down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there
wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God?!
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,
"What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG
trouble this time!"
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
PLEASE DON'T LAUGH ALONE.
PASS IT ON!
---
...LOL! A sweet one! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>Tip
___________ @ @
/ (@\ @
\___________/ _@
@ _/@ \_____
@/ \__/-="="`
\_ /
<|
<|
jgs <|
`
Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your
Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across.
Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your
house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set
off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off
or the car battery dies.
This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come
home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:
It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and
requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere
inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or
until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if
you park in your driveway or garage.
If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your
house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few
seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who
is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember
to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The
alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really
be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse
crime.
P.S. I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is
fantastic. Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart
attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad
that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she
doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know
there's a problem.
Please pass this on even IF you've read it before. It's a reminder.
---
...Great Advice! Thanks Linda!
=============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
.'''.
'(("""))'
'((O.O))'
'; o ;'
.("|((,
/ | ||
(_ | |/
,'..,' : ScS
@[.,..' \
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| |
I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncom-
fortable. On top of everything, my pleas for sympathy seemed
to go unnoticed by my husband.
One day I told him, "I hope in your next life you get to be
pregnant!"
He replied, "I hope in your next life you get to be married
to someone who's pregnant!"
-<>-
Although desperate to find work, I passed up a job I found on
an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator.
Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."
-<>-
The brillant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver
against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a
young man's arm:
"Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm now?"
Smith asked the plaintiff.
The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level,
his face contorted with apparent pain.
"Thank you," said Smith. "And now, please, will you show us
how high you could lift it before the accident?"
The man's arm shot above his head.
-<>-
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an
open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next
to it if the seat is taken.
"No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games,
but ever since she passed away, I come alone."
"Why don't you invite a friend?"
"I can't. They're all at the funeral."
-<>-
.-"""""""--,
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In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you!
It makes you look ten years younger."
"Then I don't want it," retorted the matronly customer.
"I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I
take off my hat!"
-<>-
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea.
E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
.===. _ _
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( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
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| | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
|_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half of a
proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder
of the proverb.
* Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader
* Strike while the ...bug is close
* It's always darkest before...Daylight Savings Time
* Never underestimate the power of...termites
* You can lead a horse to water but...how?
* Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty
* No news is...impossible
* A miss is as good as a...Mr.
*You can't teach an old dog new............math
* If you lie down with dogs, you'll...stink in the
morning
* Love all, trust...me
* The pen is mightier than the...pigs
* An idle mind is...The best way to relax
* Where there's smoke there's...pollution
* Happy the bride who...gets all the presents
* A penny saved is...not much
* Two's company, three's...the Musketeers
* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...
you have to blow your nose
* None are so blind as...Helen Keller
* Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded
* You get out of something what you...see pictured on the
box
* When the blind leadeth the blind...get out of the way
-<>-
.-.
__/ (
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/_/ \
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( ____/_____
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\///
//
snd //
>** THE NAME GAME **
If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty
Twitty.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly
Dali.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah
Chopra.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced
him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John
Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him
to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness
Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him
and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be
Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married
Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten,
then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),
King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and
Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana
Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
-<>-
Did you swear the witness
in Ralf?
\ `,
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Well, he Was swearing... | , )\
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/|| .| | _...._ | ( `.Y.' ( )
__;_||__|_______| ,-' ALT. '-_ |____|:__o___|_|_
[________________| / ASCII- \ |________________]
| | | _ _ART ____. | |
| Balif | | / / \| ||_)| | | |
| RALF | \\_\_/|_|| \|/ | |
____| | -_ ,- | |____
| | `-...,-' | |
| | | |
|_______________|_____________________________|_______________|
>** ELEVEN GREAT PUNS ABOUT THE LAW **
11) Lawyers wear law suits.
10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.
9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get
his fax straight.
8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just
cause for sour milk in a dairy case?
6) A detective likes to have a brief case.
5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down
post office figured that it must be blackmail.
4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.
3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.
2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.
1) If there's one person you don't want to interrupt in
the middle of a sentence, it's a judge.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Stay Healthy
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stayhealthy.html
Sand Art 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart2.html
Rupert Updated
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rupert.html
A Mother's Love
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/motherslove.html
Phone Sheep Love
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/phonesheep.html
Hand Art 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hpaint2.html
Mountain Biking
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mountainbiking.html
Koalas In A Heatwave
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalas.html
Best Parents
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html
-<>-
>From TheMoutPiece:
Poke A Sheep
http://www.eclectech.co.uk/poke-a-sheep.php
-<>-
>From Our Friend KarenF :)
Panorama - April Fool's Day Hoax - Spaghetti Harvest - 1st April ...
Hundreds of people phoned the BBC wanting to know how they could grow
their own spaghetti tree. To this ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27ugSKW4-QQ
---
...An oldie goldie! Thanks KarenF!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
ON HIS KNEES ..... RONALD REAGAN
A short video that we all should watch. This is a rather short
video that we all should watch, appreciate and fully understand its
meaning. It is also one that everyone in our government should be
forced to watch several times, at least until they get it!!! If you are
one of those that do not forward e-mails, please make this an exception
and pass this along to everyone in your address book.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/OvN1jTkzXbY?rel=0
---
...A keeper! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
oh to be young again.
this looks like fun.
-- http://www.flixxy.com/swing-dancing-ffinals.htm
---
...Yeppers! Thanks Linda!
Dog Tricks
http://www.youtube.com/embed/PztO-OvzRyg?rel=0
---
...Good Dog! TeeHee! Thanks Linda!
=========================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"It's always the same with new inventions. I can remember
when calculators came out. We weren't allowed to use them
in school. The teachers would say, 'Calculators prevent
you from learning arithmetic.' I'd say, 'I'm going into
show business.' 'Well, you'll need arithmetic to count
your crushed dreams.'" -Craig Ferguson
"Here's a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he
catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know,
I look at it this way — if I want a 90-year-old fish, I'll
just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster."
-Dave Letterman
"There's a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney
transplants in 45 minutes. Because when you're getting a
kidney transplant, your main concern is always, 'How long
is this gonna take? Can you do it in less than an hour?'"
-Jimmy Fallon
"An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to
use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a
whole new use for the airsick bag." -Jay Leno
"KFC restaurants have unveiled the 'Double Down,' which is
two slabs of fried chicken with bacon in the middle. Why
not? We all have free health insurance." -Craig Ferguson
"In 2001, a blind American climber reached the summit of
Mount Everest. At least that's what they told him."
-Craig Ferguson
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
- Chinese Proverb
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design
something completely foolproof is to underestimate the
ingenuity of complete fools."
- Douglas Adams
"It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with
fools." - Spanish Proverb
"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they
get elected."
- Will Rogers
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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