Baby It's Cold Outside And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with another donation from our long time Shangrala Angel, Cloie from NH! May God abundantly Bless her! She is a loyal supporter contributing to help Keep Shangrala Alive! We sure do thank God for her and all our past most sweet and wonderful angels! Thank You! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This too hot to handle new page is from our friends Linda, LouiseAu And RichardF. It is sure to give you plenty of SMILES and perhaps even some laughs. Be sure to check it out here... _.--"""--._ .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ Doggy Road Trip http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogcar.html --- ...TeeHee! Such a cute one! Thanks My Friends! -<>- *~* We Had A Super Awesome Month Of Sharing And Caring Last Month! ,_-~~~-, _-~~-_ / ^-_/ \_ _-~-. | /\ , `-_/ \ | /~^\ '/ /~\ /~\ / \_ \ \_/ }/ / \ \ ,_\ } Y / /~ /~ | Y \ | / | {Q) {Q) | | \_/ | \ _===_ / | / >--{ }--< \ /~ \_._/ ~\ / * * Y * \ | * .: | :.* * | \ )--__==#==__-- / \_ \ \ \ ,/ '~_ | | } ,~' \ {___/ / \ ~~~ / /\._._._./\ -Keely- 02/94 { ^^^ } ~-_______-~ / \ * Please Check Out And Share All These New Pages: Animals Caught By Surprise! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/animalssurprise.html Transparent Critters! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/transparent.html Puppy Firsts! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/puppyfirsts.html Ricochet's Soul Vision! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ricochetvision.html Amazing Photos 6! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/amazingphotos6.html Tips For Dog Owners! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/dogfacts.html World's Crowded Cities! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crowdedcities.html ________ _________ \________\--------___ ___ ____----------/_________/ \_______\----\\\\\\ //_ _ \\ //////-------/________/ \______\----\\|| (( ~|~ ))) ||//------/________/ \_____\---\\ ((\ = / ))) //----/_____/ \____\--\_))) \ _)))---/____/ \__/ ((( (((_/ Andrew Fabbro | -))) - )) *~* MAY GOD ABUNDANTLY BLESS ALL OUR BELOVED CONTRIBUTORS! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: Happy Roof Over Your Head Day! Coming to a roof near you... ~6_.___,`P_,`P_,`P_,`P | * |___) /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ * * , * \ / ='='=` * * ) -- * -- * .-----------. (( / \ * * )`'`'`'`'`'`( || * | /`'`'`'`'`'`'`\|| * * * * /`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`\| * * ,,,,,,, /`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`\ , * .-------.`|```````````````|` . ) * * >Definitions It may help to say the word out loud and slowly... Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-avoy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with. Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse \i-klips'\: What an English barber does for a living. Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist. Heroes \hee'-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does. Left Bank \left' bangk'\: What the robber did after his bag was full of loot. Misty \miss'-tee\: How golfers create divots. Paradox \par'-of-docks\: Two physicians. Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm. Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: What penguins see with. Primate \pri'-mate\: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. Relief \ree-leaf'\: What trees do in the spring. Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: What you do to relax your wife. Seamstress \seem'-stress\: Describes 200 pounds in a size six. Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does. Subdued \some-dood'\: Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like, submarines, man. Sudafed \soo'-da-fed\: Bringing litigation against a government official. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 3 is Advent begins and National Roof over Your Head Day December 4 is Santas' List Day and Wear Brown Shoes Day December 5 is Bathtub Party Day and Repeal Day - The 21st Amendment ends Prohibition. I'll drink to that! December 6 is St. Nicholas Day, Mitten Tree Day and Put on your own Shoes Day December 7 is International Civil Aviation Day, Letter Writing Day, National Cotton Candy Day and Pearl Harbor Day December 8 is National Brownie Day and Take it in the Ear Day December 9 is Christmas Card Day, International Children's Day and National Pastry Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Doctors vs Lawyers The doctors may have won the annual softball game between themselves and their lawyer opponents, but they lost the public relations war. Here's how the lawyers reported the game: "The lawyers powered their way to a second place finish, while the doctors managed to finish next to last." -<>- > > --, .::. `\ // _ (" ) ("_) (XX)// __\) / \ / \-. d___"-_ `. ( ")____, \\ // /)_ _)\\ `---//\ ) / \---^ `=') .'.-. \ ^ n_/ `" // \___.a ( (/ \ \ ( / <' \/\\---" \\\ c-" -2 n UU ____________________________________________________________________a:f ____ ___ _____ _ >Do It Again Our five-year-old grandson launched himself off the end of neighbor's porch. This resulted in a split forehead, a fractured left arm and bruises on his stomach and both of his knees. After returning from the hospital emergency room, his mom asked him what he had learned about jumping off porches. "I can't do it again," he replied, "until the cast comes off." -<>- >Road Condition The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning. Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. But where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words "Rough Road." -<>- >The Wheelbarrow The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in." -<>- >Millions of Years Ago .... Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working. This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television...and later to the remote control. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .g$$$Sbp. .d$$$$SSS$$Sp. dS$$$$SS$$$$$SSb. :S$$$$$SSSS$$$$$SSb $S$$$$$$SS$SSSSSS$S; :$$$S$$SS^"^^""^TSSS: $$$S$$SP T$SS; :$$$S$SP $$SS $$$S$$$ :$$S; :$$$S$$;=-. ,-=^.T$$Sb $$$SS$$.__.\ .__. $S$$$b .d$$SS$$; "" "" :SSS$$; d$$SSS$$$ :S$$S$$ :$$SS$$$$; ._. $$S$$$$ $$SS$$$$S$b .___. d$$$S$$; :SSS$$S$S$$b \.-./ d$$$$S$P`. `^S$S$$SS$$b. `-' .'\^T$P^' \ TS^T$SSSP `.___.' \ __\___ .: `. .'.--\ `. bug .' ; :./ / \ \ .-" __:__. .--;"\: ; ; .-""""" \ `--' : ; : : .' `. ; : ; ; / `. / ; : : : "-. / : \ ; ; `-.' ; \ : ; \ ( ) : \ : ; " ; \ ; : ; ; __..mm: \ : :/ __..NmMMMMMMMMM; ; : _..mmMMMMMMNNMMMMMMMMMM : MMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNMMMMMMMMMM; ; :NMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMMMMMMM : NNMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNMMMMMMMM; >SMILES A major electronics company, Siemens, is introducing a tiny necklace cell phone for women. Have you seen this thing? It's on a chain - you wear it around your neck - it hangs down right here to a woman's cleavage. The only problem women have with it; when it rings, every guy in the room yells, 'I'll get it.' ---------- Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night"? "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!" ---------- Dewey heard that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, Dewey and his big brother Damon, headed out to the lake. "If they did it, I can too!" he insisted. When Dewey and Damon arrived at the lake, they rented a canoe and began paddling. When they got to the middle of the lake, Dewey stepped off of the side of the boat... and nearly drowned. Furious and somewhat embarrassed, he and Damon headed for home. When Dewey arrived back at the family home, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. "Grandma, why can't I walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?" His sweet old grandmother took Dewey by the hand, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great- grandfather were born in January, You were born in June, dear." ---------- A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, " But we've never subscribed to any papers!" ---------- A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." -------- A lady went into the grocery and asked for fifty gallons of milk. The clerk, amazed, asked her what she was going to do with that much milk. "I have a skin problem and the doctor prescribed a milk bath." The clerk asked, "Pasteurized?" She replied, "No just up to my chin." -------- According to an actual scientific survey of people's reaction to jokes, this is the funniest joke every told: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" ------- An eminent psychologist was called to testify in court. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. "Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair, she opened her mouth to answer, when she was catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment. Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair, and was re seated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk. "Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question." -------- A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.' " -------- A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge. No sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army, I'd never stand in another line!" -------- A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter. She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened, and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and luckily found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at so me time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "Great, God. This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication, and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour." The woman hugged the man again, and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank You God! You even sent me a Professional!" --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : ; ____ """"': .. ; _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ ' | ` Let the sun shine in... Open the curtains in your house when the sun is out. This is another low cost way to bring heat and light into the home, helping to lower the electric bill. Maximize this tip by buying thicker curtains (or lining your existing curtains with fleece) to keep that heat in when you close the curtains. Socks on the Go! Pack an extra pair of socks in your car's glove compartment. Then if you need to get out and shovel, or if you step into a puddle, you'll have dry socks to change into. And put those mismatched socks to use: use them as wiper blade covers! --- ...Also works as handy gloves if you forget yours. .-'\ .-' `/\ .-' `/\ \ `/\ \ `/\ \ _- `/\ _.--. \ _- `/`-..--\ ) \ _- `,',' / ,') `-_ - ` -- ~ ,',' `- ,',' \,--. ____==-~ \ \_-~\ `_-~_.-' _ Seal _ \-~ Create a home for slushy snow boots... During the winter, keep a pile of newspaper near the entryway. When your little snowmen and -women come home, they can toss their winter wear onto the newspaper instead of creating puddles on the floor. Keep a bag of clay kitty litter in your car's trunk... If your car gets stuck in deep snow or slick ice, sprinkling kitty litter (non-clumping) at the base of your tires can be just the thing to add some traction and get things moving again. The extra weight in your trunk will also create added pressure on your tires, ensuring greater contact between your tread and the ground. Dry the inside of your shoes in no time! If you stepped in a puddle or you were ankle-deep in snow, you can dry out the insides of your shoes much faster if you just crumple up balls of newspaper and place them inside. The newspaper will soak up the water. ______________ /' | ( | \.______________| \\. //\\ .// `\\. .//. m1a // `\\// \\ || .//\\. || ||.// `\\.|| |// `\\| '' `` Save time on ironing... Running low on time and still have your shirt to iron? No worries...here's a quick tip to speed up your ironing time! You can speed up your ironing by taking a sheet of aluminum foil and placing it directly on the board, underneath the cover. The sheet will reflect heat upward, making the job easier and faster. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: President Trump Declares Day of Mourning for President George H.W. Bush https://tinyurl.com/yanss38n “President Trump honored the victims of the October shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue as he marked the start of Hanukkah and denounced the hatred that Jews still face,” Melissa Quinn reports in the Washington Examiner. “As one nation, we pledge our continued love and support for the victims, their families, and the community, and we pray that the victims’ families find some measure of peace and comfort during this holiday season,” the President said in his Hanukkah message to Americans. https://tinyurl.com/y9xfdop5 “U.S. President Donald Trump was able to extract a number of concessions from Chinese President Xi Jinping in exchange for not imposing any new tariffs on Chinese goods,” Jason Hopkins writes in The Daily Caller. “Xi agreed to immediately begin buying more agricultural products from American farmers, along with a pledge to purchase more industrial and energy products.” https://tinyurl.com/y8rskgtr “Palestinians deserve more from their leadership than political statements and bargaining positions,” U.S. Special Representative for International Negotiations Jason Greenblatt writes in The National. “Over the past 22 months, we have focused on a comprehensive peace plan for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. We are hopeful that Israel and the Palestinians will engage with the Trump Administration’s plan.” https://tinyurl.com/y7mxz5at In MarketWatch, University of Maryland economist Peter Morici writes that through President Trump’s tax cuts and deregulation, American wages are getting a boost. “After a decade of frustration, workers’ pay appears to be rising faster than inflation. Private-sector wages were up 3.1% in the third quarter from a year earlier, well ahead of consumer price inflation.” https://tinyurl.com/y986glzd Trump Signs Huge Trade Deal This new deal will be the most modern, up-to-date, and balanced trade agreement in the history of our country, with the most advanced protections for workers ever developed.- President Donald J. Trump REBALANCING OUR TRADE RELATIONSHIP: President Donald J. Trump kept his promise to deliver a modern and rebalanced trade deal to replace NAFTA. https://1600daily.com/2018/11/30/trump-signs-huge-trade-deal/ Hannity 11/30/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMvwKG2Pyio Tucker Carlson Tonight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJtH6NbalYU --- ...They are picking on this 40's old song we have below... The left says when she sings 'what's in this drink?' they think she is referring to a 'date rape' drug, but back then she was probably referring to just a little alcohol spiked eggnog. Check it out here... ___ ,'""""'. ,""" """"' `. ,' _. `._ ,' ,' `"""'. ,' .-""`. ,-' `. ,' ( ,' : ,' ,' __, `. ,""""' .' ;-. , ,' \ `"""". ,' `-( `._(_,' )_ `. ,' ,---. \ @ ; \ @ _,' `. ,-""' ,' ,--'- `;' `. ,' ,' ( `. ,' `. ; ,' \ _,',' `. ,' ; `--' ,' `. ,' ; __ ( , `. ; `____... `78b `. ,' ,' ; ...----'''' ) _.- .d8P `. ,' ,' ,' _....----''' '. _..--"_.-:.-' .' `. ,''. ,' `--' `" mGk "" _.-'' .-'`-.:..___...--' `-._ ,-"' `-' _.--' _.-' .' .' .' `""""" __.-'' _.-' .-' .' / ' _.-' .-' .-' .' _.-' .-' .-' .' .' / _.-' .-' .-' .' .' _.-' .-' .' .' / _.-' .-' .' .' .-' .' Baby, It's Cold Outside (Be sure to watch the cute video here too :) http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldpets.html WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest Fox News: https://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Today's Best Conservative Humor! https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/ RECALLS Consumer Products Alerts! https://tinyurl.com/y7h377ku -<>- >From BizarreNews: A New Jersey couple said city officials told them they would be charged $50,000 for continuing their 15-year tradition of extravagant Christmas light displays. Tom and Kris Apruzzi said they spend three months each year meticulously setting up the more than 300,000 lights decorating their Old Bridge home for the holidays, but officials are now trying to charge them $50,000 to continue their 15-year tradition. "We had a meeting with the Mayor and the Chief of Police the other night and they blatantly told us that this is what you will pay in order to put this Christmas light display on this year" Kris Apruzzi told local news. The couple said they were told the cost, which amounts to $2,000 per day that the lights would be illuminated, would go toward police security and bus transportation to reduce the traffic that the light show brings in each year. The Apruzzis said they are trying to crowdfund to cover the cost, but they are planning to start the light show Dec. 1 whether or not they meet their goal. "I'm not taking it down," Tom Apruzzi said. "It's my religious right and my first amendment right. I do this for the veterans and everything else like that. If people have a problem with that, I can't say anything about it. There are people that are going to be happy, and there are always people that are going to be unhappy." *--- Teen Rescued From Bank Vault ---* Police in Florida said a 17-year-old playing around in an abandoned bank ended up needing to be rescued from inside the former business' vault. Hollywood police said two teenagers entered the former Bank of America branch and one of them, a 17-year-old boy, ended up locked inside the vault about 1:30 p.m. "Unfortunately, there were two juveniles that were playing around inside an abandoned bank and they didn't know that the vault was still active," Hollywood police Officer Christian Lata told local news. "[While] playing inside the vault, one of them got trapped inside and, luckily, the other one was outside and was able to call 911." Police responded with the Hollywood Fire Department, a Broward Sheriff Fire Rescue technical rescue team and at least two private vault technicians to attempt to free the boy bank heist style, but an attempt to drill into the wall of the bank to reach the boy failed. Lata said the boy was released from the vault after more than three hours when a Bank of America employee from the branch's new location was able to come to the scene and give authorities the combination to open the door. *--- The Steaks Are Too High ---* The owner of a gargantuan steer known unofficially as the largest in Australia said the over 3,000-pound bovine's size saved him from the slaughterhouse. Geoff Pearson said Knickers, the 6-foot-and-4-inch-tall Holstein Friesian steer living at his Myalup, Western Australia, farm, was simply too big for the slaughterhouse. "It was too heavy. I wouldn't be able to put it through a processing facility," Pearson told local news. "So I think it will just live happily ever after." He said Knickers now serves as a "coach," a steer that takes charge of the rest of the bovines at his farm. Knickers has also quickly found fame as a viral celebrity online, where he is unofficially known as Australia's biggest steer. Guinness World Records lists the largest living steer as a 6.6-foot-tall Chianina ox named Bellino in Italy. *--- Bank Error in Your Favor. Collect $200. ---* An ATM was taken out of service in Houston after customers reported it was distributing $100 bills instead of $20 bills. The Harris County Sheriff's Office said the Bank of America ATM was swarmed by customers after a social media post alerted locals that the cash machine near Interstate 45 and Farm to Market Road 1960 in Harris County had given out a $100 bill instead of the requested $20. Police said fights broke out at the ATM before deputies arrived to calm the scene and stop customers from exploiting the apparent glitch. The ATM remained out of service while the bank investigated. It was unclear how many $100 bills had been mistakenly distributed and whether customers who took them had committed a crime. *--- Why Would Space Aliens Visit Texas? ---* Dozens of witnesses in Texas reported seeing a weather balloon in the sky near Fort Worth. A white, cigar-shaped weather balloon that remained perfectly motionless for 20 minutes. A video of the sighting has since gone viral, opening the door to UFO theories online. Several people commented on the YouTube video guessing it could be a blimp. However, a Texas administrator said they couldn't find any information that the Goodyear blimp was scheduled the day of the sighting. Further, the witness said it sat motionless in the sky for about 20 minutes. "It was the oddest thing I've ever seen," one unidentified witness said. "I watched it for about 20 minutes. It didn't move. I don't think I've ever seen anything in the sky stay that still before, not even for a few seconds, let alone 20 minutes." The motionless, cigar-shaped object left the witness stumped. --- ...I found the video for you... White Cigar-Shaped Object Filmed Hovering Over Fort Worth Area https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qs3d0e13xo ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) _.._..,_,_ ( ) ]~,"-.-~~[ .=])' (; ([ | ]:: ' [ '=]): .) ([ |:: ' | ~~----~~ >CATHOLIC SHAMPOO Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed the beer Cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, Sister, But I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand." "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said. "Back at the convent, we call it Catholic shampoo." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, "The curlers are on the house." --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _______ ____________ ,,/\/ / \/ // / / \ =\\\\\\\============================- ``\ \ \\ \ \ /\ \ / ----- ------------ --- unknown >Think About It Feathers are light. The sun gives off light. Therefore, the sun gives off feathers. -<>- >Putting on Cold Cream Little Billy's mom was rubbing moisturizing cream on her face as Billy walked in. "Mommy, what are you doing?" he asked. "I'm putting cold cream on my face," she replied. "Why, Mommy?" Billy asked. "To make my skin look beautiful," she said. When she started wiping the cold cream off her face with a kleenex, Billy said, "Gosh, Mom, you're giving up already?" -<>- >The Smartest Dog A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." -<> ,-----. /' `\ ; ----,---- ; | `o- |`o- | | |_ | | _____, | \_ _/ | `-----' | __.-; ;-.__ _,-' ; : ; ; `-._ _,' `. ,`-,_____ \ : : / ____,-'-, /' ```----. .----''' `\ / \_/ \ | | | | , | , | | | | | | | \ | / | \ /\ o | o /\ / / | |`\ / \ /'| | \ | | | `------' `------' | | | | | \ _.--'|`--._ / | | \ | | __|--'|`--|__ | | / | | | __|--'|`--|__pb | | | >He's Outside My Window! It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!" The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room. "Where is he?" asked the receptionist. "He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. "It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?" "The dresser!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!" -<>- >Q and A Quickies: Q: What's the best part about living in Switzerland? A: Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? A: Because he was too far out, man! Q: Why did the burglar take a shower? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway! .". / | / / / ," .-------.--- / "._ __.-/ o. o\ " ( Y ) ) / / ( / Y .-" | / _ \ \ / `. ". ) /' ) Y )( / /(,/ ,| / ) ( | / / " \_ (__ (__ [nabis] "-._,)--._,) Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly? A: In the hare force. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: (*) (*) (__) ^ ^ (__) (oo) | | | @(oo)@ [..] | = | [..]@@ \ | U (-) | | | | (-) U @@@@ || ==<_\=====/_|______=_____|=|____________=__|____\====/_>== || || ) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ( || ||___)==||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||==(___|| |\====| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |====/| | \ | | | | / | = * = = = = * = cfbd My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer. At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say the prayer. It went like this: "Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though I don't like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food." -<>- >Favorite Police Emergency Calls: Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Hi, is this the police? Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance? Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn.... Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the police. -<>- When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!'" -<>- A man goes into the home improvement store and says, "I'd like to order 5,000 finishing bricks." "Certainly," says the salesman, "Are they for a garage?" "No," says the man; "They're for a Bar-B-Q." "Why do you need so many bricks for a bar-b-q?" asks the salesman. "Well," says the man, "we live in a 3rd floor flat." -<>- .===================================================================. || __ _ __ __ __ __ __ .. __ || || -=]|__ /_\ |__) |__ |__) / \ |\ /| |__) | | |__/ |__ |\ | || || -=]| / \ | \ | | \ \__/ | \/ | | \__/ | \ |__ | \| || || ___ || || .' '. || || / \ oOoOo || || | | ,==||||| || || \ / _|| ||||| || || '.___.' _.-'^|| ||||| || || __/_______.-' '==HHHHH || || _.-'` / """"" || || .-' / oOoOo || || `-._ / ,==||||| || || '-/._|| ||||| || || / ^|| ||||| || || / '==HHHHH || || /________""""" || || `\ `\ || || \ `\ / || || \ `\/ || || / || || / || || jgs /_____ || || || '===================================================================' Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles. The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -<>- Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right--only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' | ! | | | | ! | >Unlikely Marriages 1. If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty. 2. If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono. 3. If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali. 4. If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho. 5. If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton- John Newton John. 6. If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster. 7. If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting. 8. If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver. 9. If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh. 10. How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou. 11. If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G. 12. If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. 13. If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener. 14. If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur. -<>- /\ ,'.' ',' _.,._ _,.-+`'+-._ .|. _.+'` `.' \ (___) ,' \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _.-~`'~-._ _\_.-+'`'`+-._\ ag `,' `---` >HOW TO WRITE GOOD Avoid alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren't necessary. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One should never generalize. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. Be more or less specific. Understatement is always best. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. The passive voice is to be avoided. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions? Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Winter Wildlife 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/winter2.html Cat Owner Tips!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catowners.html This Is MY Spot!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/myspot.html Disney Christmas!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html Taking A Cat Bath!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbath.html Taking A Catnap 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html Quilts In The Snow!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowquilts.html World Of Squirrels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldofsquirrels.html Animals First Snow!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsfirstsnow.html Snow Sculpture Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowart.html Winter Wonderland!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lessons.html Look Who's Talking 8!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking8.html Dogs And Cats Together!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsandcats.html Bible:The Christmas Story!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/christmasstory.html World's Tallest SnowWoman!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowwoman.html Veteran And Troop Pages http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html Christmas Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- VOTE: How's Trump Doing? https://tinyurl.com/ycemefjr A Tiny Hamster Thanksgiving https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iieQDN7l_Yw Wheelchair Dog And Silkie Chicken Are The Cutest Friends https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnLBuTBJvzM Panda cub and nanny’s “war" - one big bundle of fur ball fun! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpK1lZJmbJY JibJab Funny Personal Christmas eCards https://tinyurl.com/ydxs3c3w Animals of YouTube sing "Jingle Bells" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRzhd3eUyO8 JINGLE CATS Let-It-Snow-Cats https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p_kyxQGbJQ jingle bell- Minions For Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3vtZDGJyGo ANIMAL REACTIONS to CHRISTMAS GIFTS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xeq45eSkBA The Muppets: Gonzo's Dangerous and Foolish Stunt Game Give the Great Gonzo a hand http://www.dan-dare.org/FreeFun/Games/CartoonsMoviesTV/Muppets.htm Toss The Turtle http://www.addictinggames.com/shooting-games/toss-the-turtle-game.jsp -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Check out Christmas Jingle Cats - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YRLjLaRqAGY --- ...HaHa! So cute! Thanks Melody! Grandma's Graham Cracker Cookies - Amish 365: Amish Recipes http://www.amish365.com/amish-cook-grandmas-graham-cracker-cookies/ --- ...Wow! A recipe for Graham Crackers cookies! Thanks Melody! My family loves Graham Crackers with chocolate frosting spread between two crackers for an easy tasty treat. -<>- >From Our Friend Cloie :) Best Description of Barack Obama ever Written https://tinyurl.com/yaopnphv --- ...Amazing how right on this is! Thanks Cloie! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) She sent us one we have here... Thankful For You! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thankful.html --- ...A Sweet one! Thanks LouiseAu! Master magician and author Paul Vigil is known as one of the most discriminating magicians and mentalist in the world. Famous Vegas Magician Paul Vigil Reads Minds and Makes Magic!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnd8gQzS2yg --- ...Awesome! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled the correct way. The rats were like, 'Why aren't you trying to cure cancer?'" -Seth Meyers "In the U.K., they're launching an official Quidditch League, with eight teams competing across the country. It's the first sports league where everyone has an equal chance of being a loser." -Conan O'Brien "McDonald's is unveiling something called a Nutella burger at its locations in Italy. This goes against the traditional way of eating Nutella, which is with two fingers in the dark while crying at 3 a.m." -James Corden "Archeologists investigating an ancient shipwreck in Italy have discovered pills over 2,000 years old. Meanwhile, my mom was like, 'That date is just a recommendation. They're still good.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A woman has been charged with filing a false police report after posting that she had been kidnapped on Facebook. People grew suspicious when the woman 'liked' her own kidnapping." -Conan O'Brien "A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I'm not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million." -Seth Meyers "A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for stealing $31 worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for this guy. That has got to be a tough conversation once you're in prison. 'Yeah, I'm in for armed robbery and arson, what about you?' 'Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'" -James Corden "I saw that one hundred years ago this month, Albert Einstein presented his theory of General Relativity, which explains how gravity works. And it also marks the last time someone actually meant it when they said, 'Way to go, Einstein.'" -Jimmy Fallon "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." --Lily Tomlin "Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." --Albert Einstein "A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be." --Wayne Gretzky "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped." - Groucho Marx "A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things." - Herman Melville >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************