Banking Crisis Explained & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We got a new funny page! This comes from several forwards from our friend Viv. Our dear democratic friends don't find much to find humor with our new President, but these cartoonist folks sure do! Some funny - some satire - some just plain sad - but all to hopefully entertain you! I added the Steppenwolf Video at the end because these reminded of the last couple mins. where they sing 'America, we need you now...' - So I just had to include it! Check it all out here...... POLITICAL HUMOR! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics.html --- ...I loved these! Thank You Viv! -<>- >If You haven't Already, Be sure to check these out... Give Me Flowers http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/flowers.html Little Ones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/litones.html Mini Baby Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baby.html For Grandparents: To Begin With http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/begin.html For Lost Loved Ones: One Day http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/begin.html Best Parents http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html Mother Squirrel's Love http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/motherslove.html ======================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: .--..--. / V \ __|__________|__ '--/// \\\--' Get a Whiff of This Fashion Trend... ( 6 6 ) : ) ; \ == / As Lee Soo-bum nears home after an evening `-.__.-` out with the guys, he shimmies, shakes and __ _(\__/)_ __ occasionally rubs his chest. Then at his /` / \(><)/ \ `\ apartment door, the 39-year-old South / \ |::::| / \ Korean film company executive sniffs, | / /::::\ \ | | smiles in satisfaction and greets his wife. | | / |::::| \ | | Although he's been drinking with colleagues | | \ |'::'| / | | in a smoke-filled bar, Lee doesn't reek of | | \_/ :: \_/ | | booze and cigarettes. | | |____|o | | |_| |____|o |_| In fact, he smells downright sweet. "This |_\ | |o /_| new suit helps keep peace at home, "Lee / \___| L_ |___/ \ says, referring to his fashionable beige ((((|| || ||)))) wool suit. It smells like lavender -- and | || | the more he moves, the stronger the scent | || | becomes. | || | | || | The suit is made with fabric soaked in a | || | chemical that contains scented micro- jgs |___ || ___| capsules, which pop and release the odor __[____||____]__ when the wearer moves -- or gets bumped on ( )( ) crowded subway train. `---'== =='---' Three local fashion houses -- LG Fashion, Essess Heartist and Kolon International -- began selling the scented suits in major department and retail stores earlier this month. So far, Essess has sold 2,500 pine-scented suits, LG 1,000 lavender suits and Kolon 660 peppermint suits. Source -- Associated Press ================================================================== +--------------------- Bizarre List ----------------------+ What Your Favorite Movies Were Almost Called 1. Pretty Woman - was almost called "3000" (the amount of money paid for a week's worth of the hooker's "company"). 2. Back to the Future - was almost called "Spaceman from Pluto" because the studio believed that no movie with the word "future" in the title had ever succeeded at the box office. 3. Tootsie - was almost called "Would I Lie to You?" because of several scripted rewrites. 4. Boys Don't Cry - was almost called "Take It Like a Man", but thanks to a Cure song on the soundtrack "Boys Don't Cry" came out a winner. 5. Help! - was almost called "Eight Arms to Hold You" because Help was already registered so they added an exclamation point. 6. The Grapes of Wrath - was almost called "Route 66" due to the use of the historic highway during filming. 7. Annie Hall - was almost called "Anhedonia" which is the scientific term for the inability to experience pleasure. That's Woody Allen for you. 8. Blazing Saddles - was almost called "Tex X" as a play on civil rights leader Malcolm X. [From mentalfloss.com] ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Fig :) '."""""""""""""""""`. `. ... `. `. /@ `. `. .'"":_ :"""""".'| .'//)/) ` (/)/)).' | .'/)_/"" __ ""\.' ^ | |"""(((""""((("""| | | | "" "" | U | | | High Quality | P .' | Bananas | .' | | .' | |' """""""""""""""" >The Banana Test There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you think will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . .. Try to answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis. If your answer is: Lion = you're dull. Chimpanzee = you're dense. Giraffe = you're a complete moron. Squirrel = you're hopeless. A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS. Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax... DUH!!! --- ...TeeHee! Got me Fig - during a slow brain time I might add! ============================================================= >-->From TheJokester: Answers Given By 2nd Grade School Children to the Following Questions!! _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ >Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. ,{{}}}}}}. {{{{{}}}}}}}. {{{{ {{{{{}}}} }}}}} _ _ {{{{{ }}}} m m }}}}} {{{{C ^ {{{{{ }}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}} {{{{{{{{;.___.;{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}) (}}}}}}}}}} {{{{}}}}}': :{{{{{{{{{{ {{{}}}}}} `@` {{{}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ jgs {{{{{{{{ }}}}}} }}}}} {{{{ {{{ }} >How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. .-. ,-"""-, / \__ \ | / `\ | \( ^.^ )/ \ - / .-'|;---;|-. (\/ ||___|| `\ \\__/ \__| C|`----`|D __//| | | |====( | | | | _/_/___.---- .===| |====\ /===. | ('------') ( '----' ) | jgs | | >What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ________________________ |.----------------------.| || || || || || .-"````"-. || || / _.._ `\ || || / /` `-. ; . .|| || | |__ __ \ | || ||.-.| | e`/e` | | || || | | | | |'--|| || | | '- | | || || | \ --' /| | || || | `;---'\| | || || | | | | || || | .-' | | || ||'--|/` | |--.|| || ; . ; _.\ || || `-.;_ /.-' || || ```` || ||jgs___________________|| '------------------------' >Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom? 1. We're related 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. ,,,,, /((())\ \(((()/ (| _ _ | /( - ) (((\_~_/ ))).' '.__ /`\ ___ /`\ | /` `\ | | \___,___/ | | |\ /| | | | ) ( | | / /` `\\ \ / /| | \ \ /.(\;`-._.-`; /)|\ _(\\))| | | /// / \ | ; | | | / '._______.' | / ) | ( / | \ jgs | | | \ | / / Y \ (_/ \_) >What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. @@@ // \\ / \_/ \ / ./_(-.\ ( / \\ )|| @/ // ) / @>@<@/ ( '-.;)@\ \.-' | | | | | | | `'. | `'-. / '-.. | . .. '-.__ jgs |.' .' .'.'__;.--'--.-' `"-----'"` >What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? ____ _ .-;\)___\ |_| \_/ ,---\ | | / _/ e e \_/ _%&&%%&_ |(` >| ___T__\______/__ \| =/ '====\\\ ^/====='_/ ,--' `\ \ .'`._ ( \ \ / ``\ \ \/ / ) ) \`'._/ -'.-'\ \__/ / \-'\______ /._'-./ \ ___`'-. /` | '-.\ '--`` /-\\\ /` / | ( ) | / / | \ (-------------- / '-._ | /'-.'# # # # `._ `'-._/ /#__#__#__#__#__ ;";-..__ | | # # # # # ; | |``-' |# # # # # / ;\ | |__#__#__#__#__#__ .' / / / || || jgs /' .' | | || || / .' | | || || ,| / \ | || || \\\/( (`-/\__ || \__`\ [_--.__\ || Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. __w ,%%%% .%%%_/ ,_ %%/(___// %%||))-' ,%%%)\( %%%/ \\ ,%%\ ; % | | | | / | jgs /___| >Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. \'/ -= * =- .-"-. / #,_ / /\_ \ `#|\ / /')'\ \ /#/ ( \ = / )/\/# ) ) ( (/ \ (_.;`"`;._) | / ( \|/ ) | / /\-'^'-/\ | | \| )=@=( \_/ | /\/ \ | /\ \ ; \(// /' | \/ | | / / | ___/\_\ |/ / \ \| / | | | | \ \_|/ \|_/ jgs / \`-'/ \ `-' '-` >What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine. _ /_`\ )"/ ) (`(,( ./_.') _.`-;-'\ .'/ /___/ .' / / // __/_.' |(\`\ --jgs''-- /'_.]--''- _\| `-| ---''''---....--' `"""' `"" ` >What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. __________________ / _@___@___@___@_ \ |@/ \@| | | | | |@| ,;;;-, |@| | | /;/))))) | | |@| (;/ . .(( |@| .-;;;-. | | ):( > )) | | (((;(::(\ |@| (;)\ = /( |@| ).`\):):) | | )):) .'):) | | < (:(:( |@| .:(:\_(_)( |@| = `\:):\ | | /`::) `\ | | '--')(:(:) |@\_/___________\_/@| )(::)"( jgs \___@___@___@___@___/ .' (::)) / / ;;-` \/ / | >What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. _ .-' '-. / \ |,-,-,-,-,| ___ | _)_(_ | (/ \) | _\_/_ /) / \_/ \// |( )\/ ||)_( |/ \ n| | / \ | |_|___| \|/ jgs _/L\_ >If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. -<>- ))))))))) ////"""""\ \ / /\ \ / | //// (o).(o) \/\/ \/ \/\/ | //(, __ | ' ////\ (__) / ////)._____/ jgs / ( >The Vocabulary of a Mother * Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the children would care to order dessert. * Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. * Full Name: What you call your child when you're angry with him. * Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. * Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say. * Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into. * Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours. * Whodunit: None of the children who live in your house. * Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am -<>- ,@@@@@@@, @@@@@@@@@@, /_ _ `@@@@ /_ ?@@@ /_ )@@@ (__ ,-;@@@@, jgs / (@@@@@ >Mommy Jacqui After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room, putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, 'Who was "that"?' -<>- ,.s,os,osos,, ((S;%(S;S)S)S)SS;, ,(;s&;SS((&%(S(;(S;)%S;, ,;(S(&((S;%S(S((;)S)S&%)));, ,))JGS%S)SSS)S(S&(;S(%))S(&(; ((&s(;((;(S(%S(;)S%S)S))S;&))S); ;)s)%)`';& 'S`. S `((%(S;&, )(&(S( .' ' .' ) )')S)), S,})&;) ' ' ' (%(&;(S% ,((%(( ___ _... )S%_))) S;));)'`___`'-. .-' __,`((/,(;(S ;((;(S(/`(_)`'-. : : .-'`(_)`\ );)|%) (S(;&( `----'` . ' `''--'` (Ss'|)) `))%))::. . ' .::)%/;(S ((S((;'::. ' . .::'('s))&) ( );;S)' . . ' `);(;S )(`%( '- -` (' )' ( ( )\ __ __ ,;) ' ) \ .;-=`:`=-;. / ( \ \`-..-'`/ / '._ `'---'` _.' '-._ _.-' `'-'` >Most Embarrassing Moments One of the funniest "most embarrassing moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE'. That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word tampax' for THUMBTACKS'. In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?' ========================================================= >-->From ArcaMax: .--. .--. : (\ ". _......_ ." /) : '. ` ` .' /' _ _ `\ / 0} {0 \ | / \ | | /' `\ | \ | . .==. . | / '._ \.' \__/ './ _.' jgs / ``'._-''-_.'`` \ `--` >Three Bears It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For Heaven's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't made the durned porridge yet!" -<>- >Dog Funnies ___________________ / = == = == == = == \ / = == == == == = \ /== === === = ==== == ==\ / === = ==== = === = === =\ /_=_==__==__=__=====__==_ =_\ `"""|__ __ _.-----._ ____|"""` |__ __ / /\_/\ \__ __| |_ __ | \/"\/ |__ _| | | _( Y )_ | | jgs\\`""""8=(/=====\)=8"""`// Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter because he won't come anyway. Q: What do you call a dog with a cold? A: Germy Shepherd. Q: What does a Chow Chow say when you turn it inside-out? A: "Ouch, ouch!" Q: What do you call a dog owned by Count Dracula? A: A bloodhound. Q: What do you call a contrary German Shepherd? A: A K-nein. Q: What do you call a female dog that leads a gang of neutered puppies? A: Queen of spayeds. -<>- _,_ (;;;) , ,__/a /;\ (;) (__ |;| _ // '--. \;/;;)_____ (;;) @\(,;)' '`/ (;;) | \ _____\ / //|| \ \ | || || |||| (;;(;;) (;(;;) jgs ((_((_) ((_((_) >Useful Dog A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job." "Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it. Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!" "No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phone as well." -<>- >Oldest Profession A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world." The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world." The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?" -<>- >Left Handed Little Ricky was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?" Ricky said, "Yes, God did it, and he did it left handed." This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?" "Well," said Ricky, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!" -<>- >Out the Window A French man, an English man, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The French man offered everyone some French bread, then he threw it out the window. The French man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from." The English man offered everyone a crumpet and then he threw it out the window. The English man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from." The American man quickly threw the lawyer out the window. The American said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from." -<>- _______/_____ D'-. | / ) '(o)'-.....'(O)' ind >Cars in Heaven Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven. The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a mid-sized car. The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car. A week later the three guys met in a parking lot in heaven. The man driving the luxury car began to cry. "What's the matter?" the other two men asked. He replied, "I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!" -<>- >Lawyerly Laffs Q: What is the definition a "Lucky Break?" A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "Crying Shame"? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand. Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances. =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) Can't eat pork, _ |\_,,____ ( o__o \/ /(..) \ (_ )--( _) / ""--"" \ ,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,== |d | WW | WW | |s | | | | | Swine flu... [^^] Can't eat chicken, 8c __/~\__ (((\_/))) _) (_ cgmm Bird flu. [,,] Can't eat Beef, ( ) (oo) )\.-----/(O O) # ; / u ( . |} ) |/ `.;|/; " " " unknown Mad cow.... [^^] Can't eat eggs, .-~-. .' '. / \ .-~-. : ; .' '.| | / \ : : ; .-~""~-,/ | /` `'. : | \ \ | / `. .' \ .' jgs `~~~` '-.____.-' Salmonella. [,,] Can't eat fish, /(_ /_ (_ / O \ |_. | \ | | |\ / | \ | \ (-.\ fish walking _)\ \ ( )_/\ \_( \ / ) ( _ _ _ / _ \ /'\/'\'\ / _// / \(/\(/(/ \\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) >The Banking Crisis Explained __...----.. .-' `-. / .---.._ \ | | \ \ | `. | | | | _____ ` ' | | / _.-` `. \ | .'| //'''.' \ `---'_(`.||.`.`.' _.`.'''-. \ _(`'. `.`.`'.-' \\ \ \ (' .' `-._.- / \\ \ | ('./ `-._ .-| \\ || ('.\ | | 0') ('0 __.--. \`----'/ _.--('..| `-- .' .-. `. `--..' _..--..._ _.-' ('.:| . / ` 0 ` \ .' .-' `..' | / .^. | / .' \ ' . `._ .'| `. \`...____.----._.' .'.'| . \ | |_||_||__| // \ | _.-'| |_ `. \ || | | /\ \_| _ _ | || | /. . ' `.`.| || || || / ' ' | . | `.`---'/ .' `. | .' .'`. \ .' / `...' .' \ \ .'.' `---\ '.-' | )/\ / /)/ .| \ `. `.\ \ )/ \( / \ | \ | `. `-. )/ ) | | __ \ \.-` \ | /| ) .-. //' `-| \ _ / / _| | `-'.-.\ || `. )_.--' ) \ '-. / '| ''.__.-`\ | / `-\ '._|--' \ `. \ _\ / `---. LGB /.--` \ \ .''''\ `._..._| `-.' .-. | '_.'-./.' Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.' Chuck now works for NAB --- ...Giggles - Good One! Thanks Tony! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From GrassFire: President Obama's team is lying about the "budget cuts" in Obama's 1,500-page, $3.5 trillion budget. They are not cutting the budget. In fact, Obama's budget is over $400 billion larger than President Bush's 2009 budget and $100 billion larger than the bloated budget resolution Congress just passed! The fact is, the budget Obama released this week is basically the same budget his team released two months ago in "outline" form... --This is the largest budget ever proposed by a President with the largest deficits in American history. --It adds over $9 trillion to the national debt -- doubling the total debt accumulated from the start of our country through the Bush presidency. --It includes the Carbon Tax, which could bbe as high as $2 trillion. --It includes the massive socialized healthhcare program. --It even ignores the $3.4 trillion budget Congress passed and reverts to Obama's original $3.5 trillion budget. + + The "budget cut" slight of hand What about those "budget cuts"? As the Chicago Tribune reported, the "news" of the budget cuts grabbed the headlines even though the supposed "cuts" were all in Obama's original budget! There is nothing new. No new budget cuts. Obama has simply repackaged his bloated budget -- ignoring Congress' budget resolution -- in terms of supposed budget cuts. Obama fed this headline to the liberal media and they ran with it. Sadly, Republican leaders are trying to downplay the supposed budget cuts when, in reality, THERE ARE NO CUTS IN THE BUDGET! + + Help me expose the lie ++ 12 Hours to Rally an Additional 15,000 Signers Over the last number of hours, more than 6,500 citizens have signed our "Stop the Spending" petition--leaving us only one thousand signatures shy of the 250,000 mark! But, as news of Obama's tax/spend treachery grows, angry, citizens--many who are feeling the pinch of the current economic crisis want to sound off--but don't know where to turn as our nation races toward statism... http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=18960&PID=20593964 Thank you for answering my last minute call to action! Steve Elliott, President Grassfire.org -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Man dropped marijuana bag in court ------------ HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - Authorities in New York state said a man searching his pockets for a summons in a courtroom dropped a bag of marijuana onto an officer's shoe. Nassau County District Attorney spokesman Eric Phillips said Desmond Kelly, 28, was being arraigned at First District Court in Hempstead, N.Y., on a motor vehicle violation when the judge asked Kelley if he had the original traffic ticket, the New York Post reported Thursday. Phillips said Kelly "reached into his pocket and took out the ticket. At that time, a small bag of marijuana fell out and landed on top of the shoe of a court officer." The spokesman said the officer shouted "'You're under arrest!' and the audience in court gasped." Kelly was immediately arraigned on the drug possession charge. -- Off-duty cop jumped onto stolen car ------------ NEW YORK - Authorities said an off-duty New York Port Authority police officer who saw his car being stolen jumped onto the moving vehicle and fired his gun into the car. Witnesses said Officer John Castro, who has been with the Port Authority for 11 years, left his gray BMW running outside of a business in the city's Queens borough Wednesday afternoon when the thief jumped into the car and started driving away, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. "It was like a movie scene," witness Heriberto Lopez, 35, said. "The man ran after the car and jumped on top of it." Bystanders said the scene ended when Castro fired his gun into the car. The New York Police Department said the suspect was taken into custody. The Port Authority said the firearm discharge is being investigated by an internal unit. -- Man finds snake head in restaurant food ---------- CLIFTON PARK, N.Y. - A New York state man said he discover- ed a severed snake head among the vegetables on his plate at a T.G.I. Friday's restaurant. Jack Pendleton said he was dining with his girlfriend at the Clifton Park restaur- ant when he noticed a gray object on his plate under a piece of broccoli, the Albany (N.Y.) Times-Union reported. "I could see these black, rotted eye sockets on the top," he said. Pendleton said the snake head still had part of a tendon and the spinal chord attached. Amy Freshwater, a spokeswoman for the restaurant chain, said the company was trying to determine how the snake head wound up in the food. "We are taking this situation very seriously," she said. "We immediately pulled the broccoli from this restau- rant and began an extensive investigation. As a precaution- ary measure, we pulled broccoli from all restaurants that received product from this supplier. We have since isolated the specific lot date of the broccoli in question and have now reintroduced the product in all restaurants not includ- ed in the product hold." Pendleton said he filed a complaint with the company but he does not plan to sue. -- Lost dog home after 8 years -------------- AUSTIN, Texas - A Texas family said they have been reunited with their long-lost pet dog, but they do not know where the animal has been for the past eight years. Alison Murphy of Austin said she and her family offered a $500 reward for the return of their dog, Dancer, after the dog went missing eight years ago, but they received no word of the beloved pet until the Humane Society in New Braunfels, Texas, called last week, KVUE-TV, Austin, reported. The Humane Society told Murphy that a musician found the dog wandering the streets of New Braunfels, Texas, last week and brought it to the group's office, where workers used the dog's microchip to track down its owners. Murphy said the dog, which now answers to the name Fern, does not appear to have lived on the streets for very long. "Her teeth are in great shape," she said. "She just doesn't look like she's been on the streets for 11 years. Somebody's been taking care of her." "It's just wonderful to have her back," Murphy said. "She's older now and she's a little more mellow than she was, of course, as a younger dog but she still likes to go for walks first thing in the morn- ing. And she likes to cuddle at night. She's still the same old girl." ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: "Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife. "What, hon?" she asks. "I heard the mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one!" "Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis next-door." -<>- On a spring break trip to Italy, my friends and I were standing just inside St. Peter's Basilica, the second largest church in the world. The tour guide explained, "This church is so large that no man on earth could hit a baseball from one end to the other, not Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, or even Mark McGuire." My group stared in silence at the beautiful marble sculptures, intricate paintings, and glorious mosaics all around the enormous building. Then one girl interrupted the silence with an astonished question: _--_ dMb __(._ ) d0P < (D) .MP .~ \ /~```M-. .~ V Mo_ \ -------============((((}{) ( (___. {:)-./ ~._____.(:} '94 the wolfe / .M\ / "" \ | /\ | / / \ \ / / \ \ \__/ \__/ / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ "You mean, they actually let them hit baseballs in here?" -<>- A man stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money." Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do!" -<>- The generation gap proved glaringly obvious at the mail-order music company where my wife works as a customer service representative. Some college students, who were working part-time inputting customer information, wrote the following notes regarding some golden oldies: "Customer is looking for two song titles: 'Shovel Off Two Buffaloes' and 'Honey, Suck a Rose.'" -<>- Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him. Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor. Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breath- lessly said, "Hello"? The voice on the other end asked, "Is this Speedy Morris"? "Yes, yes!" he replied excitedly. Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated." -<>- At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final blessing. The bride misunderstood my gesture and surprised me with a high-five. Not wanting to exclude the groom, I offered him a high-five, too. I was finally able to get my blessing in, amid the laughter of the guests. ============================================================== >-->From Laugh&Lift: >Quick Jokes "My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth." "Really? What did he get?" "Fifteen years." -------- Linda meets up with Jill as she is picking her car up from the mechanic. Linda asks, "Everything ok with your car now?" Jill replies, "Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid." _ /_\ .'-'. .' '. '_________' ( ) |.---------.| Blinker fluid -- reduces the noise in the turn signals |: Blinker :| |: Fluid :| |'---------'| (___________)LGB -------- A young boy of four was going into the hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate that he'd be gone for a while to have surgery. On the day he was admitted, his mother asked the doctor privately if he could also please circumcise her boy while he is asleep. The doctor agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days. After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied 'all I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are.' SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ============================================================= >-->Late Show Top Ten U S S E N T E R P R I S E N C C - 1 7 0 1 ############################################################# ############################################################# ##########^^^###############^^"^^###############^^^########## #^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^""""" """""^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^# ##o............. .. .. .............o## #################o:^####oooo. .oooo####^:o################# ####################o:^###### # ######^:o#################### #######################o:^"" ""^:o####################### #######################^ o-"""-o ^####################### ######################: # - # :###################### #######################o ^-...-^ o####################### #########################o.. ..o######################### ##############################o############################## ############################################################# ############################################################# Lines Never Before Said in a 'Star Trek' Film (Presented By Leonard Nimoy) 10. Warp factor 8! Arby's closes in 10 minutes 9. We're entering a breach in the space-time continuum or a wormhole or some crazy crap like that 8. Set phasers to fabulous! 7. Welcome aboard the Starship Enterprise — today's in- flight movie is "Big Momma's House 2" 6. We've been hijacked by Somali pirates 5. Sir, I'm going to need Saturday off to attend my nephew's bar mitzvah 4. My baby-daddy is a Vulcan — on the next "Maury" 3. The Enterprise just hit a goose — we're gonna have to land in the Hudson 2. Live long, prosper, and keep on hangin' and bangin' 1. I find your choice of hairpiece highly illogical ======================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: >Wesley Is On The Prowl with Some Great Ones For Us: Dictionary of New Words http://www.wordspy.com/ Rhyming Tool http://www.writeexpress.com/online2.html Compare Nearby Banks http://www.findabetterbank.com/ Free Disney E-Cards http://i-love-disney.com/ Eggless Cooking http://www.egglesscooking.com/ Free Curser Library http://www.totallyfreecursors.com/ Unit Conversion App http://converticious.com/ I've used this for a few years now and its pretty good along with Paint.net ...Free Photoshop alternative http://irfanview.com/ Free Document Templates http://www.scribd.com/ Microsofts ZXP Power Toys http://tinyurl.com/553fw6 Tweak XP http://xenomorph.net/?page_id=336 --- ...Excellent! Thank you Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Backyard:Remodeling and Home Improvement Ideas http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archives/backyard/ Wall Mural Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart.html Enjoy The Ride: http://www.lshs64.com/enjoytheride.html Add Online Images To Your Digital Photo Frame http://www.yougotphoto.com/home.html Make Your Own Badge http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/badge.php Create Graffiti Style Writings http://www.graffiticreator.net/ Bowling Bloopers http://www.buffaloschips.com/9267.htm Boy & Labrador http://www.buffaloschips.com/9268.htm Brass Pole http://www.buffaloschips.com/9269.htm Bud Light Wheel http://www.buffaloschips.com/92610.htm Brownie http://www.buffaloschips.com/92699.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." - Robert Frost "I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians." - Charles De Gaulle One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on. The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality. "I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on." -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist "It's Cinco de Mayo. If you don't speak Spanish, Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for, 'the mayonnaise is in the sink.'" -Craig Ferguson "Listen to this. The New York Times is now reporting it's possible to catch swine flu from money. They say the virus can live on a $20 bill for more than 10 days. So, not only is the virus contagious, it's also very frugal." --Jay Leno "Here's good news: For the first time in 30 years, American children have improved their reading scores. Now they can read English almost as well as Chinese children." -Jimmy Fallon "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." --Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784)) "My mom had a weekly court and we'd get tickets during the week. On Saturdays, my dad would be the judge and mom would be the prosecutor. We could state our case, but she was like MATLOCK - she always won!" --MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE dad BRYAN CRANSTON recalls his own childhood. "President Obama announced he wants to trim or eliminate 120 programs. The programs he wants to eliminate? Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly..." - Jay Leno Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything, but it's still fun to watch them tumble down the stairs. ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSEE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************