Beautiful Feet And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ ___ ___ /#=.`. .'.=#\ \ \ `. .' / / `-. >- .--.v.--. -< ,-' ---/#=/ Y \=#\--- /__ | | | _\ /###=|____|____|=###\ |""' \ O | O / `""| |_ /`--(_)--'\ _| \##= \: / \ :/ =##/ `.#= `-' `-' =#.' `-._________.-' hjw *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->2 Hot off the 'Shangy' Press :) Our two Hot Scorchers are from our friend Linda. The first one intrigued me as the forward said "AMAZING TREE IN SOUTH AFRICA - The mystery is nobody knows who the artist was!" The email showed several pictures of a huge tree with very elaborate carvings of wild life on it. Of course I had to go and look this up. It turned out to be from Disney. It is a 145 feet tall, 50 feet wide and was sculpted by 12 artisans for display in Disney's theme park in Florida. Check it out here... . + . . . . _ . . , /;-._,-.____ ,-----.__ (( . (_:#::_.:::. `-._ /:, /-._, `._, ` \ _|`"=:_::.`.); \ __/ / , `./ \:. `. )==-' . . ., ,-=-. ,\, +#./` \:. / / . . \/:/`-' , ,\ '` ` ` ): , /_ -o . /:+- - + +- : :- + + -:' /(o-) \) . . ,=': \ ` `/` ' , , ,:' `'--".--"---._/`7 `. ( \: \,-._` ` + '\, ," _,--._,---":.__/ \: ` X` _| _,\/' .-' . ":._:`\____ /:' / . . \::. :\/:' / + . `.:. /:' } . . ):_(:; \ . /:. _/ , | . (|::. ,` . . |::. {\ |::.\ \ `. |:::(\ | O |:::/{ } | (o ) ___/#\::`/ (O "==._____ O, (O /` ~~~w/w~"~~,\` `:/,-(~`"~~~~~~~~"~o~\~/~w|/~ dew ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\W~~~~~~~~~~~~\|/~~ Disney Tree Of Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneytree.html --- ...Wow! Simply Awesome! Thank You Linda! This next one Linda sent me a forward and wrote "I've ordered myself the catapult pair & for you Shangy the doggie pair. How kind of me is that!?!.....hehehehe". So, of course, I had to do up the page to show off my new pair of shoes! TeeHee. Check it out here... __ __ / . ) _ .' | /|/ / \ ejm97 ` __|/ o ( .\ \ | \___ )| \__`-. Unique Designer Shoes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shoes.html --- ...I especially love the little bell on these doggy shoes! So thoughtful of you - Thank You Linda! [I do think the black ones are more my style though.] And before any of you ask - NO - I do not know where you can purchase any of these shoes. Sorry. ;) ================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: A Big Mac And Fries |\ /| /|_/| |\||-|\||-/|/| It was moving day. The previous owners were going \\|\|//||/// to finish moving out that _..----.._ |\/\||//|||| morning, and we were going to .' o '. |||\\|/\\ || start moving in that afternoon. / o o \ | './\_/.' | |o o o| | .:. .:. | We showed up just as they were /'-.._o __.-'\ | : :: : | finishing up, around lunchtime. \ ````` / | : '' : | The couple was sitting down for |``--........--'`| '.______.' a breather before they left, \ / jgs `'----------'` The wife suggested to her husband that they go to McDonald's for lunch. She told us with guilty pleasure, "I know it's not good for me, but I just love burgers and fries." Her husband had a somewhat disgusted look on his face. He told us, in all seriousness, "Not me. I'm a meat and potatoes man." ================================================================= +---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+ ARIZONA There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. Hunting camels is prohibited. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back to the days of the Wild West). You may not have more than two dildos per household. Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _.._.-..-._ .-' .' /\ \`._ / / .' `-.\ `. :_.' .. : _.../\ | ;___ .-' //\\. \ _..._ / `/\ // \\\ `-.___.-' /\ //\\ \\: | //\V/ :\\ \\ \ \\/ \\ /\\ `.____.\\ \\ .' \\ // /\\---\\-' \\ fsc // // \\ \\ \\ >Virus warning - this one is real I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born before 1965. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." 8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS." Oh ....Have I already sent this to you? --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ No one has been able to explain to me why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While Politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term. It just does not make any sense. This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on. This is an idea that we should address. For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop. If each person that receives this will forward it on to 20 people, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.. This is one proposal that really should be passed around. Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .." --- ...Interesting! Thanks Jo Ann! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) _________________________ || || || || || ||, , ,|| || || (||/|/(\||/ || || ||| _'_`||| || || || o o || || || (|| - `||) || || || = || || ScS || ||\___/|| || ||___||) , (||___|| /||---||-\_/-||---||\ / ||--_||_____||_--|| \ (_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_) |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""| >Jail Time Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill , but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Bill , what in the world happened to you?' Bill replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?' 'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?' 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me. At 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty' 'The darned judge gave me 30 days for perjury!' --- ...LOL! Thanks Johanna! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ,--. //^\\\ ,;;;, . ((-_-))) (-_- ; /_\ )))((( >..'. .:. .--. |SSt| ((_._ ) /. .| :-_-; /-_-)) _))A ((_//| S || ,`-'. ))-(( `( )`' |___|),;, C \\_/,`I )) \ / | | |`' |___(/-'|___() ,-. )( | | | | | | | | | (-_-) _____ /__\ |_|_| |_|_| |_|_| (\I/\.__|A|R|T| `'' `-'-' `-'-' `-'-' `'-`' `o' `o' >Beautiful People, Beautiful faces are those that wear a friendly smile that says, "I care." Beautiful eyes are those that show, the kindness and warmth that glows below. Beautiful lips utter kindly words that soothe the soul like the songs of birds. Beautiful people touch and bless; they inspire hope and happiness. You will always be, beautiful to me __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP I'm Thankful for the beautiful People In The World Like You! --- ...aww, how sweet! It must be my new doggie shoes! Thanks Linda! Seriously though, I in turn find you most beautifully thoughtful! _ ( \nnnn / / (` \ / `-. \/ `, ) `` BP Rom.10: [15] And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things! God's most abundant blessings To All His BEAUTIFUL People! -<>- ,-. |,-.| ||O|| O __||H|| H / _ |H||~~~~O~~~~~~.dHb.~~~.dHb.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~H |(_)|H|| O cHHHHHoooHHHHHD H \|||/H|| o "HHHHHHHF' K H|| __ "HHHHHF R H|| o /o `-./ HHHHH ><> O H|| o 7__.-'\ HHHHH __ G H|| O HHHHH __ \.-' o\ G H|| o ><> HHHHH /o `-./ /`-.__F H H|| o __ HHHHH 7__.-'\ H H||o o /o `-./HH <>< H H``oO 7__.-'\HH __ H Ho o HHHHH \.-' o\ _ H H _ _.-._ .dHHHHHb./`-.__F _ _,-._(_)(H H,-(_)-(_)-(_),dH,-(_)H(_),-(_).,-(_)(_)-(_),-.H Krogg >LIFE'S RULES 1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Sh*thead's. 2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. 3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here. 4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" 5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. 6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea." 7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"? 10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. 12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. 13.. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys. 15. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. 16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. 17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains." 18. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning. 19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? 20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. 21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 24.. Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled. 25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been. --- ...LOL! Good ones! Thanks Linda! -<>- ____ __ __ ___ ____ ______ / __/ \ / | _ \ | _ \_ _| \__ \ , ^ , | _ \| _ / | | /____/_|\_/|_|_| \_|_| \_\ |_| -by Shel Silverstein >Quiz for Bright People There are only nine questions. This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them. 7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.' . . . . . . . . . Answers To Quiz: 1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing. 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute. 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. 4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. 5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems. 6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle... 7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. 9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. PLEASE DO YOUR PART… Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to send this e-mail to at least one mentally-challenged person. Well, my job's done! Just don't send it back to me. I've already flunked it once! --- ...Ditto! Thanks Linda! -<>- _ //\\\ //|o o\\ ( - ) .;;. ,'-`,_ \/`\ ,| ```--._ \ `-' | ___ |=; `-. _,'----| ``--'-' ,-',-' | \-' _/ ( _.-' \ \ \ pb \____\_\ ,--````)`) zzzzzzzzzzz /\_/\ [HH]\_/[HH] >Idle Thoughts of a Wandering Mind I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it ******************** I had amnesia once---or twice ******************** I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? ******************** Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. ******************** All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. ******************** What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? ******************** They told me I was gullible and I believed them. ******************** Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. ******************** Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. ******************** One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. ******************** My weight is perfect for my height--which varies. ******************** I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. ******************** How can there be self-help "groups"? ******************** If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? ******************** Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ******************** TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS. --- ...HaHa! Thanks Linda! ============================================================== >-->From Laugh And Lift: 'We may live in a sad world, but the sad world doesn't have to live in us.' This really struck me...of course we could use many descriptive words in the place of sad, i.e. angry, greedy, lustful, devious, and the sentence would still apply. I believe it's up to each of us to recognize when the sad world lives within us and also up to us, with God's help, to reverse it." - Skip Sanders The Lift .-~~~-, ( ) ( ) -^x^- ( ) /~ ~\ ( ) | | ( ) | | ( ) | __ _, (~~~~-( ) /\/\ (. ).) `_'_', ( ) C __) (.( .)-( ) | /~~~ \ (_ ( ) / \ ~====' /_____/` D) /`-_ `---' \ | .__|~-/^\-~|_/_ |^^^^^^^|| | __. ||/.\ | |OooooO \ ---. \ | | \ _ _- ,`_'_' .~\ \|__ __|-____ / ) < -(. ).) > \ ( .\ (. ) \(_/ ) ~- _) \_- ooo @ (_) @ \(_//. / /_C (-.____) /((O)/ \ ._/\~_. / |_\ / / /\\\\`-----'' _|>o< |__ | \ooooO ( \ \\ \\___/ \ `_'_', / \ \__-| \ `)\\-^\\ ^--. /_(.(.)- _\ \ \ ) |-`--.`--=\-\ /-//_ ' ( c D\ \_\_) |-___/ / \ V /.~ \/\\\ (@)___/ ~| / | / | |. /`\\_/\/ / / / | ( C`-'` / | \/ (/ / /_________- \ `C__-~ | / (/ / | | | \__________| \ (/ -Artist Unknown _____ . . .___ __ . . . .__ __ __ . . __ | | | | (__` | |\ /| | \ (__` / \ |\ | (__` | |---| |--- \ | | \/ | |__/ \ | | | \ | \ | | | |___ \__/ | | | | \__/ \__/ | \| \__/ >What to Wear Today (By Ron Hutchcraft) When our kids were living at home I couldn't believe people actually paid to go to the circus. We had a circus right there! It was free - a three-ring circus. Now the most exciting issue was usually, "What am I going to wear today?" And then that cry by various experiments with different combinations until some outfit finally looks right. Does that sound familiar? Of course it's always punctuated by these discussions of who's wearing whose shirt, or whose pants, or whatever. Actually, whether you go to school or to work, what to wear is kind of a challenging choice. Unless of course you're one of the lucky ones; you just wear a uniform. You don't have any decision to make; somebody else made it for you. You have to consider the weather, and what season it is, and what mood you're in, and what people you're going to see, and do the colors match, which is hopeless for me. Well, in the process, you might overlook the one item you have to wear to school or to work every day. I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "What to Wear Today." Now, there's some intriguing detail in the biblical saga of Nehemiah. You may remember he's the man that led the Jews back to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem in 52 days after they'd been away for 100 years. Now, he was cup bearer to the king, and that king by the way was the King of Persia. He was quite a ways from where he needed to end up in Jerusalem. But Nehemiah had a tremendous burden on his heart. And he had a desire to tell the king his burden, but he wasn't sure how to open the conversation. Well, in our word for today from the Word of God, which is in Nehemiah chapter 2, beginning in verse 1, it's interesting to see how the king actually initiates the discussion. And it ends with him giving Nehemiah everything he needs for this rebuilding project. And you know why the king initiated it? Because Nehemiah didn't wear to work what he usually did. Here's our word for today. "When wine was brought for the king, I took the wine..." - Nehemiah is speaking here - "...and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before. So the king asked me, 'Why does your face look so sad when you're not ill? This could be nothing but sadness of heart.' Well, I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, 'May the king live forever. Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins and its gates have been destroyed by fire.' And the king said to me, 'What is it you want?'" /9 6\ // | | \\ // | | \\ // | | \\ // __|__ | \\ // |__X__| __|__ \\ ____//___________________________________|__X__|________\\____________ _____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|#####|_____|_____|_____|____ __|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_ _____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____ __|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_ _____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|____ __|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_ Dave Flanagan Well, the rest is history. From there it was the rebuilding of the wall of God's city. In essence the king is saying, "Nehemiah, where's your smile? You always wear it to work. Where is it today?" Nehemiah was known for his positive attitude on the job - his joy, his smile. So much so that it was an event for Nehemiah not to be smiling at work. Now, for many of us it would be an event that we were smiling when we're in the middle of our daily responsibilities. But if you're a Christian, you get your joy from your environment, not your environment; from Christ inside you. No one should ever ask you, "Hey, how come you're so happy today?" Like it's unusual? That should be routine. Maybe they might ask you why you're so down today, because that would be unusual. Most of us just plod mechanically through our school day, our work day, our household responsibilities. Sometimes we're like expressionless drones. And often we're complaining and whining like everybody else. But consider Nehemiah's working wardrobe - a predictable smile, a contagious joy, and a consistent positiveness in the midst of daily drudgery. In our world, that is an attention getter, and that wardrobe is always in style. Wear joy to your work place every day. You'll knock 'em dead! [Copyright Ronald P. Hutchcraft. Distributed by Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc."A Word With You" by Ronald P. Hutchcraft is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at www.Hutchcraft.com/A- Word-With-You.] -<>- The Laugh |\/\ ,. / `' |,-, / /_ _/ / (.-,--. / /o/ o \ / \_\ / _/ (__`--' _) / | (_____,' \ \_ _\_ `._..-' `._ / ,' `. .'| / \ |_| | | || |______| |/ | |\ / | | \ / | | \ `. | | \ ( `-.._____| |---i `. _| | / | (_ \ | | | | | |_)| `-+--f--`-^-'--' | | | | | | | | _,(`--'), | | .-' `--'_t(`--'), / .-' `--' | `-..___/ (_)| hjw `-.._____..-' >Quick Jokes: Out of The Mouths of Children Some years ago when my little niece was about 3 years old, her parents were teaching her NOT to call her Daddy by his first name, which is Jon. Around the same time, they were also working to teach her to say John 3:16. It was a shock to them when repeating the Scripture, when after she had said it, she gave the reference as "My Daddy 3:16" instead of "John 3:16." :) [from list member Peggy Haning] -------- One day I explained to my 5-year-old daughter that if she chose to disobey me, she would have to live with the consequences. "Oh, Mommy!" she said with a terrified look on her face. "Please don't make me live with the Consequences. I want to live here with you!" -------- Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!" -------- A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant." SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: {POLITICS] >From the TeaParty: Should Obama Be Re-elected, Obamacare Repealed? http://tinyurl.com/3r3nke7 -<>- >From PatriotUpdate: Obama Violates FEC Laws: Films Campaign Ad In White House http://tinyurl.com/3bllf6k -<>- >From VisionToAmerica: Obama Pushes $600 Billion in New Taxes http://tinyurl.com/3j8d6sk -<>- >From BizarreNews [edited]: Okay. Say you have somehow embedded a fishhook in your bottom and you're a little embarrassed about it. So you go hide in a closet. Maybe a little unusual, but that is exactly what happened to this particular Maryland man. How the fish hook got in his buttocks the story does not specify, and the reasoning behind hiding in the closet we can only speculate on. But what happened next is the truly bizarre part, because we would not know about this story if the man had not begun firing his .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol. Police responded to a noise complaint from neighbors. After knocking on the door of the man in question he eventually answered and admitted to the police that he had fired the gun hoping they would arrive and help him with his problem. He was handcuffed and then transported to the Hospital. Maybe he didn't have a telephone. Maybe he was too embarrassed to go to a neighbor and ask for help. But the most puzzling question still remains...how in the hell did he get a fish hook stuck in his bottom? +-- Mink coat hidden in panties for 3 days --+ BLOOMINGTON, Minn. - A Minnesota woman accused of concealing a stolen mink coat in her underwear for three days pleaded guilty to a theft charge. Bloomington police said Stephanie Moreland, 46, was arrested on a felony theft charge on New Year's Eve after employees at the Alaska Fur Company accused her of stealing the short mink coat, valued at $6,500, WCCO-TV, Minneapolis, reported Wednesday. A sales associate at the store took down Moreland's license plate number and police located the woman and her car a short time later, but the only sign of the coat was an empty hanger, police said. Moreland was booked into jail and she admitted three days later to having stolen the coat, but she claimed it had already been sold. However, when told she would be taken to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, Moreland lifted up her dress and revealed the coat had been shoved into her underwear. "She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front," Bloomington Police Cmdr. Mark Stehlik said. Moreland pleaded guilty to the theft charge Monday and is due to be sentenced Aug. 8. +-- Man in port-a-potty tank eludes police --+ BOULDER, Colo. - Police in Colorado said a man spotted in the tank of a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga Festival escaped capture while "covered in feces." Boulder police said a woman who entered the portable toilet Friday suspected there was someone hiding under a tarp in the tank, which had been heavily used, and informed a security officer, The Denver Post reported Wednesday. The officer witnessed a man police said was shirtless, shoeless and "covered in feces" exit the portable toilet a short time later, but the suspect successfully fled on foot. The man, described as white and about 20 years old, was identified by some witnesses as a transient who calls himself Sky. Boulder police spokeswoman Kim Kobel said investigators do not know how the man, estimated to be between 6-foot-4 and 6-foot-8, managed to fit into the small tank. The man is being sought on a charge of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact. +-- Graduating class has 23 twins, triplets --+ CANFIELD, Ohio - The principal of an Ohio high school said this year's graduating class of 282 students includes 10 sets of twins and one set of triplets. Principal John Tullio of Canfield High School in Canfield, Ohio, said the students, the largest group of multiples he can recall in a single graduating class, have all been in the Canfield school system since kindergarten and are scheduled to graduate June 12, The Youngstown (Ohio) Vindicator reported Wednesday. "I think it's really unique that out of 282 graduates we have so many sets of twins," Tullio said. "In fact, we have a photo of some of them from kindergarten that we're putting in the yearbook." The multiples don't end with the class of 2011 -- the class of 2012 currently has three sets of twins enrolled in the school while the class of 2013 has one set and the class of 2014 has eight sets of twins. +-- Fleeing suspect threw meat on roof --+ PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - Police in Florida said they arrested a man accused of stealing a steak from a store and throwing it onto a roof when chased by a manager. Port St. Lucie police said they were called to the Publix market in the 3200 block of Southwest Port St. Lucie Boulevard Monday on a report of a shoplifter, and a manager pointed out Daniel Schoetker, 43, who was running from the scene, TCPalm.com reported Thursday. The manager told officers he recognized Schoetker from "past incidents" and the suspect ran when he spotted the manager coming toward him. The manager said Schoetker "reached inside the front of his shorts and pulled out some merchandise and proceeded to throw it onto the roof of Darwin Square." The merchandise turned out to be an $11.13 top sirloin steak. Schoetker was arrested and charged with retail theft. Police said he also had an outstanding warrant on a charge of writing worthless checks. +-- Robber paid $1 for gum --+ FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Police in Florida said a robber paid $1 for a pack of gum when store clerks explained they couldn't open the register without a purchase. Fort Lauderdale police said the unidentified robber pointed a gun at an employee of the 1939 NW Ninth Ave. Family Dollar store June 1 and ordered a second clerk to open the register, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Monday. However, the clerks explained they could not open the register unless a purchase was made, and the robber took $1 from his pocket and paid for a pack of gum, police said. Police said the man fled with the money from the register, including his $1. The incident was recorded by security cameras. Investigators said the same man entered the neighboring Caribbean Mizik at 11:50 a.m. the following day and took money from the register. +-- Police: Woman stole police license plate --+ NEW YORK - New York police said a woman was arrested after stealing a license plate off a patrol car and shoving it down her pants. Police said Beryl Duncan, 53, took the plate from the marked 2009 Chevrolet Impala while it was parked near Prospect Park on a call about a disturbance about 1 a.m. Monday, the New York Post reported Tuesday. A witness described seeing Duncan shove the plate down her pants and police said she denied stealing the plate when confronted by an officer. Police said the woman told the officer the plate had fallen off the vehicle and she was holding it until she could return it to an officer. Duncan was arrested and charged with criminal possession of stolen property and petit larceny. ================================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., Prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." [Contributed to Reader's Digest.] -<>- ----- / \ ) | :================: " )/ /|| || )_ /* / || System || * | || Down || (=====~*~======) \ || Please wait || 0 \ / 0 ================== // (====*====) || ........... / \............. // * || :\ ############ \ || (=====*======) || : --------------------------------- V * V : | * |__________|| :::::::::: | o (======*=======) o \ | | || ....... | \\ * || --------------------------------- 8 || (=====*======) // 8 V * V --------------------------------- 8 =|=; (==/ * \==) =|= \ ########################### \ / ! \ _ * __ / | \ \ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ \ ! ! ! (__/ \__) ! ! ! \ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ \ 0 \ \V/ / 0 \________________________________\ () \o o/ () ********************************* () () -Targon (Ed Wisniewski)- A man attempting to set up his new printer called the tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it! -<>- A friend sent me a list of dumb state laws that reminded me of the marriage application process to my husband. This is verbatim from our application from Hocking County, Ohio. "The undersigned respectfully make application for a Marriage License for said parties, and upon oath state: That the infor- mation given the court is true and accurate to the best of their ability; That neither of said parties is an habitual drunkard, imbecile or insane, and is not under the influence of any intoxicating liquor or narcotic drug; That said parties are not nearer of kin than second cousins; and That there is no legal impediment to their marriage." We were able to pass all those tests truthfully. [Thanks to Yvonne. And congratulations.] -<>- My wife, a flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversized luggage. "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this problem." My wife smiled, "When you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either." -<>- Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" -<>- _ _ ( \ / ) \ \.-------------./ / \( )/ `.___________.' On her way back from the concession stand, Sandra asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Sandra nodded. "Oh, good. Then this is my row." -<>- My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe' in Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare. The waitress gave us a stare and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day." ============================================================ >-->From The MouthPiece: |\/\/\/| /\ /\ /\ /\ | | | V \/ \---. .----/ \----. | | \_ / \ / | (o)(o) (o)(o) <__. .--\ (o)(o) /__. C _) _C / \ () / | ,___| /____, ) \ > (C_) < | / \ /----' /___\____/___\ /____\ ooooo /| |\ / \ / \ / \ BART LISA MAGGIE >WISE ADVICE FROM KIDS "Medicine only works if it's cherry flavored." -- Elissa, 9 "Good food always comes with a toy." -- Ryan, 6 "Just because your dog drinks from the toilet, doesn't mean you should." -- Juaquim, 7 "Don't dry the dog in the microwave." -- Brittany, 5 "If mommy says no, then you should ask daddy." -- Daniel, 7 "You can't eat soup with a fork." -- Mel, 4 "Don't pick your nose when you're finger-painting." --Xiang, 8 "Never ask mom when she's going to go on a diet." --Bob, 11 ================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >Some Interesting Questions Asked of Students 1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it? 2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it? 3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs are under water? 4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear? 5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three? 6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die? 7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel? 8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first? Same question, but the location is in Canada ? 9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th. 10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field? 11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move? Scroll down for answers..... . . . . . . . . . . ANSWERS: 1. The word "incorrectly. " 2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two. 3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-) 4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North Pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear. 5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three. 6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. 7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt. 8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down... 9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78. 10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack. 11. The temperature. -<>- >Creative Humor... , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. "But Officer, I Was Only..." Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked. A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition. =-= A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained. =-= A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now." =-= An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them." =-= A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all." =-= "I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant." =-= When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now." =-= One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask." =-= An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?" -<>- || || _.-.|| /'_. || (/? &\|| < (//) (_// \) .((-~~~')\ /~ . \ ( | | ) |~-/' |~|' | ) | ) | .' __.'.' | :`~~~ )) (w) _/' | ~i~ | | | | ( | ( | | | Ts97 | |-.' )~-.'_) / /'' `-' Being Creative With Troublesome Kin You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words: "Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889." Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image, and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot. Next, we rewrite the text: "Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. "Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed." -<>- | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |===| )---( |_|_| |___| |___| \ / ).( [_] \-/ \|/ U hjm How to Write Good • Avoid alliteration. Always. • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. • Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) • Employ the vernacular. • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. • Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. • It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. • Contractions aren't necessary. • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. • One should never generalize. • Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." • Comparisons are as bad as cliches. • Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. • Profanity sucks. • Be more or less specific. • Understatement is always best. • Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. • One-word sentences? Eliminate. • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. • The passive voice is to be avoided. • Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. • Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. • Who needs rhetorical questions? Our Weird Language * Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? * Why do some people use the expression 'Good Grief'? What is a Bad Grief? * Why is the plural of goose-geese and not the plural of moose-meese? * If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice why aren't two houses hice? * If the plural of mouse is mice, what is the plural of spouse? * Why do we say something is awfully good? What exactly do we mean by this? * Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? * Can you have only one plural? * Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference between here and there? * Can you be frequent infrequently? * Why do people say 'This and That' as opposed to 'That and This'? * If the plural of octopus is octopi and platypus is platypi what is the plural of schoolbus? * Why is sphinges the plural of sphinx if there's only one? * What's the difference between new and brand new? * Why do North Americans fill a form out but the English fill it in? -<>- .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` >Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery... -Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! -Better save that. We'll need it for thee autopsy. -Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, tthen what's that? -Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. -Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 5000 ml of this stuff before? -There go the lights again... -Ya' know... there's big money in kidneyys... and this guy's got two of 'em. -Everybody stand back! I lost my contactt lens! -Could you stop that thing from beating?? It's throwing my concentration off. -What's this doing here? -I hate it when they're missing stuff inn here. -That's cool! Now can you make his leg ttwitch?! -Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us. -Sterile, shcmerle. The floor's clean, rright? -What do you mean he wasn't in for a sexx change? -OK, now take a picture from this angle.. This is truly a freak of nature. -This patient has already had some kids,, am I correct? -Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card? -Don't worry. I think it is sharp enoughh. -What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!! -FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! -Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!! -Isn't this the one with the really loussy insurance? =============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Jobs That Suck! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Black Fawn Deer http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deer.html Beautiful Bridges http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges.html Amazing Dog Houses 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses2.html Veggie Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggie.html Truth About Work http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/work.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us ones we have pages on here... Stuck Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html A Love Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestory.html Baby Thoughts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babythoughts.html --- ...Cute reminders! Thanks Linda! -<>- This map refreshes itself every few minutes. Details are on the right side of the page. Global Earthquakes http://quakes.globalincidentmap.com/ And when you scroll to the bottom of the page, you can select other types of incidents, such as forest fires, hazmats, food and drug, gangs, border security, and aviation. --- ...Pretty Cool! Thanks Linda! -<>- I hope You Dance! http://www.libertyhigh56.net/special%20pages/dancing.htm --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE: For those of you who grew up in the 1940s http://www.objflicks.com/decadeofthe1940s.html --- ...Interesting! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Love http://www.buffaloschips.com/3r44.htm Hair Piece http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg7.htm Hang Onto That Pole http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjh.htm Happy New Year http://www.buffaloschips.com/76tg.htm Hard Day http://www.buffaloschips.com/o8u.htm Dumb fries http://www.buffaloschips.com/030817.htm Dumped http://www.buffaloschips.com/030818.htm Elvis Live http://www.buffaloschips.com/030819.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "We were even beaten by a team of girls?" Mercy me...I can not imagine a bunch of men losing to a team of girls. Women yes, girls, no. I guess these "girls" were never told by their mothers not to beat a man at any game as it would hurt their fragile egos....LOL! --Jane Men are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Always remember, that the worst round of golf is better than the best day of work. --Michael Mc "A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time." --Jay Leno "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top." --Anonymous English Professor, Ohio University "Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." --Dave Barry "A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience." --Miguel de Cervantes How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? "We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head." - Dennis Miller "For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong." - Henry Louis Mencken "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." - George Burns >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************