Bet You Didn`t Know & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) >I spent some time getting the AGIFS updated. Added over a 100 new graphics to the AGIF Animations library including some for Mother's Day. Visit the Gallery here: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/agifs.html -<>- >Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) How many of you have little kids or grand kids that love watching SpongeBob? He is hard to miss. When he first came out my husband thought it was a joke. Somebody's 'dare' gone crazy! Like somebody saying 'I bet ya I can make a cartoon of a sponge and the kids will eat it up!' sort of thing. Well, anyway, here's little SpongeBob and I have to watch hours of him every time my grandson comes over. My husband and I know his little song by heart. He actually is an OK cartoon. Surprising enough. In his world, life is fun and work is fun and friends are fun and even jellyfish are fun. So when I heard of this place called Jellyfish Lake, I thought of this funny yellow sponge with pants on and his butterfly net going crazy chasing after them. You know what's cool? At Jellyfish Lake you could do just that without risk of serious burns from being stung. Just like SpongeBob. These jellyfish are special. You have to see it to believe it, But it is REAL! So Of Course, I had to do a page on it to share with everyone! God gave us a wonderful big world just so we could be oooed and awwwed by His greatness! Jellyfish Lake is just one of those places. (( .-vv-. ,######. )) .&&&&&&, !!!!!!!' /`;;;;;;`\ ` ) ( )( ` ( )( ) )) (( ) ( )( ( ( ) ) ( )) (( ( JrS Jellyfish Lake http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/jellyfish.html *~* ENJOY - AND BE SURE TO PASS THIS ON - GOD BLESS *~* ============================================= >-->From Our Friend Buffalo :) !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ Payer Request for a sweet fine lady who writes her own poetry and has a beautiful web site. She wrote: I WAS GOING TO DO AN UPDATE THIS MONTH BUT FELL AND FRACTURED MY LEFT WRIST, BONE CONTUSIONS ON RIGHT, AND A KNEE CAP THEY THOUGHT WAS BROKEN. IT SHOWED OKAY ON XRAY. I HAVE BEEN HOME FOR OVER 2 WEEKS AND NOT ON COMPUTER DUE TO PAIN IN BOTH ARMS. THIS MEANS MORE TO ME THAN WORDS CAN SAY.- HUGS, CAROL Carol w/Love You Like It's My Last http://www.carolspoetry.com/itlast.html --- ...PLEASE PRAY For a speedy recovery for Carol. And VISIT Her web site and let her know you are praying for her. Thanks All - It's what we do In Christ for each other that counts! ======================================== >-->From FunnyBone: Another Speeding Motorist Is Caught A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman ,__ suddenly asked | `'. the man. __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ \='. _/..--'`__ `'-._ "Ummm, yeah..." \- '-.--"` === / o `', the startled man )= ( .--_ | _.' replied. /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-. /_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ _.' The officer jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-'` grinned and added, /_.' `/";';`| "Ever catch *all* the fish?" \` .'/ '--' ====================================================================== +---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+ ENGLAND _A .'`"`'. / , , \ | <\^/> | | < (_) >| /====\ (.--._ _.--.) |\ -`\- /| |(_.- >-.)| \__.-'^'._/ |\ . / _.'\ '----'|'-. _.-' O ;-.__.' \O `o. /o \ \/-.-\/| \ jgs| ;, '.|\| / Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated. It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store. Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. Anal sex is prohibited. It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. In Chester, you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight. =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Budha :) >Firemans Son _____ .'.---.'. // , \\ || `| || || | || || -'- || .-"`'-.,_ _,.-'`"-. / .'--,___`"""`___,--'. \ | /:////_'---'_\\\\:\ | \|:|// `_ _` \\|:|/ '-/| (6/ \6) |\-' \\ | | // `| (._.) |` | _ _ | jgs \ '---' / '--.___.--' This is an excellent idea......and to have come from a teenager....just think!!!!!!!! An idea from the son of a 9/11 Firefighter... So before you delete this, just Remember that this is a 14 Year-old boy who lost his father on September 11th. All you're asked to do is type, point and click. He's got a really great idea. Thanks! --- ...This is one of those on-line petitions. I looked this one up because so many of them are hoax's. This ONE IS TRUE. Visit here for the full details of it: http://www.snopes.com/rumors/firemen.asp However, it is best if you sign the official web petition instead of the email one. Visit here to Sign Petition http://www.petitiononline.com/91101/petition.html *~* Thank You Budha. This is a good one! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) >Bet You Didn`t Know... _ ( ) ,,,,, \\ . . , \\ | - D (._) \__- | | | \\|_ , ,---- _ |----. \__ ( ( / ) _ | \/ \. ' _.| \ ( ) | \ /( / /\_ \ // \ / ( / / ) // ( , / / , (_.) |......\ | \, / / ) \--- b'ger /___/___^// You Have: 300 Bones, that Fuses into 206 at adulthood Some have Extra Bones in the Arch of Foot. 1 out of 20 have an Extra Rib. Your body operates on 10 pints of Blood. (That is 5 quarts -- right?) About the same as a V8 engine. (Vrooom-Vrooom!) 120,000 hair Follicles, With as many as 140,000 if you are a Natural Blonde And 90,000 if you are a Natural Redhead (your head may differ-- So Please comb Accordingly) -:) --- ...God's got your back though as Jesus says here Luke 12:7 - But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.. 60% Of Your Weight is Water (So if you feel wishy-Washy; maybe it is because your Body is aprox. 54% to 60% water). Now let me see-- that`s only about 18% Bones, huh? (slosh, slosh) You own some 93 miles of Peripheral Nerves. (see why you are so nervous?) Your fastest nerve send impulses at up to 395 feet per second, and up to 300 impulses per second. (Woo-Wee!, That`s fast). So that`s why you are so impulsive? mmmm) You have more than 640 skeletal muscles. You ask, which muscle is the largest? (O, my,You are sitting on it). Now let`s see; About your heart. Although your Heart is only about the size of your fist, and weights about 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound--- It does the amount of work that it would take, to lift your body straight up one mile, Beating 100,000 times a day. (The little Fellow will Beat some 2.5 Billion times in your Lifetime-- That is if you take care of it ). (That would take you out of this World, and would make you a space traveler-- huh?). What about Your Nose? Although you can recognize some 10,000 Smells, There are only four basic types of smells. Fragrant, Acid, rancid, and burnt. (I Know what you are tinking-- DON`T go there!) You see, Smell is a sense, we become accustomed to most quickly; Most odores can hardly be perceived just in 30 seconds though, after they are first detected (Again, I know what you are thinking -- so don`t go there). Lastly, what about the Ears? Most people can Hear Sound Frequencies form 20 Hz (Hertz) or Waves per Seconds. You may hear some lower frequencies than a ` Bat can, but you can also hear some higher than a bird. Of course a bat can hear higher frequencies than us, and birds can hear lower Frequencies than us. (O, Yes. Bats and Birds did beat us in the "Being~Able~to~Fly" department -- as well). Well, just maybe, Now we should not be just a little Smarter??` mmmmm, All this is giving me a `Head-Ache`, So I guess I`ll go take two Aspirins, and put my `Nerves` to rest----LOL! Your~Friend~~~~~~John-Paul --- _ ,:'/ _..._ // ( `""-.._.' \| / 6\___ | 6 4 | / \_ .--' (_'---'`) / `'---`() ,' | , .'` | )\ _.-' ; / | .'` _ / /` / .' '. , | / / / \ ; | | | \ | | .| | | \ `"| /.-' | | | '-..-\ _.;.._ | |.;-. \ <`.._ )) | .;-. )) (__. ` ))-' \_ ))' `'--"` jgs `"""` ...Wow! Thanks John-Paul! God sure did make us mighty fine! So well that I'm OK even though I got rammed by a full grown boxer mix dog. This dog looks pretty much like my daughter's dog... check out the picture here: http://www.lombardybulldogs.com/ He ran head long into me. I was picking up a toy rubber rat to throw to him for play time and instead of waiting for me, he ran full speed after it and rammed my head with his head by accident. What a hard head we both have! God made us good as neither one of us suffered much more then a little soreness! Praise God! ===================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. "Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..." "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'? Ole continued, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Minnesota Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie." Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into da other. I vas hurting, real bad, and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after da accident da Minnesota Highway Patrolman came to da scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between da eyes. Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling'? Now vat vould YOU say?" He NEVER asked me..... ...hiiii haaaaaan... \ /\/\ / / / _/,/ / _/` (/"/////, ( '```--.___ /' _), ,- '-. /, / \ (\ \, \_()/ \) )' =_ )) | | | .// _/) ( ( \_ // / \ >_,\ (/)= / | | | \ #\| / |=| |=|\ ( ( (=> ( >( >),) ======================================================================= >-->Kids' Instructions on Life ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB - Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10 - When you want something expensive, ask youur grandparents. Matthew, Age 12 - Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. Rocky, Age 9 - Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressedd in the morning. Stephanie, Age 8 - Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in aa glass of milk. Rosemary, Age 7 - Don't flush the john when your dad is in tthe shower. Lamar, Age 10 - Never bug a pregnant mom. Nicholas, Age 11 - Don't ever be too full for dessert. Kelly, Age 10 - When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I llook stupid?" don't answer him. Heather, Age 16 - Never tell your mom her diet's not workingg. Michael, Age 14 - When you get a bad grade in school, show iit to your mom when she's on the phone. Alyesha, Age 13 - Never try to baptize a cat. Laura, Age 13 - Never spit when on a roller coaster. Scott, Age 11 - Never do pranks at a police station. Sam, Age 10 - Never tell your little brother that you'ree not going to do what your mom told you to do. Hank, Age 12 - Remember you're never too old to hold yourr father's hand. Molly, Age 11 - Listen to your brain. It has lots of inforrmation. Chelsey, Age 7 - Never dare your little brother to paint thhe family car. Phillip, Age 13 - Forget the cake, go for the icing. Cynthia, Age 8 ====================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From LifeScrift: Feed Your Face: 10 Foods for Better Skin Your thighs shouldn’t be your only worry as you rip open that package of Cheetos. There’s a larger body part you should be concerned about: your skin. You can’t just shove junk food in your face and expect to have smooth, supple skin. But swap those cheese puffs for a cup of cottage cheese and you just might get glowing results. Read on for 10 yummy foods that’ll fill your belly AND nourish your skin. Plus: Take our quiz to find out if you’re skin care savvy… click here to read more http://www.lifescript.com/HA/44259_4238409_9963_0.htm -<>- >From GrassFire: IN THIS BRIEFING: *Barack Obama's most dangerous quote (audio) *Kristol, Leiberman: Barack the Marxist? *Border fence petition delivery *What is Al Gore's big secret? *Foreclosures up 57%; McCain announcing tax cut plan Go here: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6012&RID=10702139 -<>- >From NRA: Obama: Change For The Sake Of Expediency When it comes to the Second Amendment, it's somehow appropriate that Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama is running on a platform of "change." Because when it comes to his rhetoric on the issue of gun rights, "change" is an apt description. Last month, we reported on Obama's hypocrisy. We detailed his advocacy of a law to forbid federally licensed gun dealers from legally selling constitutionally-protected products (firearms) in huge geographical areas, without holding purveyors of pornography to the same standard. Last week, we reported on Obama's attempt at reassuring pro-gun voters by telling them, "I have no intention of taking away folks' guns," then telling the Pittsburgh Tribune "I am not in favor of concealed weapons," and that he favors ".reasonable, thoughtful gun control measure[s].." Visit Here for more: http://www.nraila.org/GrassrootsAlerts/ --- _.--"""--._ WHO Can Ya .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ TRUST? /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ ...The problem with Obama is a little five letter word - TRUST. He talks a good future walk but his past walk in life hasn't been so good. It is therefore hard to trust this man. I saw him in the News last Night. He was asked about his faith. He obviously had a difficult time with this question. He stuttered and stammered but did say that he was a Christian and believed that Jesus died for his sins ... Listen to One On One with Barack in Muncie here - about one and half minutes into this: http://www.wane.com/Global/category.asp?C=47213&nav=menu32_2_11 I think he should memorize Romans 10:9 if he wants to keep proclaiming he is a Christian. He needs to be able to say what he is loud and clear without stammering or stumbling on giving excuses of what his definition of what he is. 1 Peter 3: 15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: ,--, |__ _ ___/ /\| :__|_|__/ __ ;( )__, ) /-\|__/-\_/ ; // '--; \'/ \'/ \ | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ N.Y. activists want to nix horse buggies Some businesses and animal rights activists are trying to convince New York officials to replace carriage horses in Central Park with antique car replicas. The plan's supporters argue that it is cruel to make horses pull carriages and that replacing them with "green" Ford Model T replicas is a more eco-friendly choice, the New York Post reported. The idea, pioneered by animal rights activist Jill Weitz, is aimed at maintaining "touring" businesses that depend on the park, but giving the animals a break, the Post reported. "The horses will be off the road, but tourists will still have an option for a romantic ride," said New York business owner Steve Nislick. Carolyn Daly, a spokeswoman for the Horse and Carriage Association of New York, said the horses should stay. "No one wants to replace clip-clop, clip-clop with chitty, chitty, bang bang," she said. ,---. ( ,_ _) .--. )} _/ / \'/_-' 7 \ )===( . ( \ \_/_)--\\ . : \ \__..--' )) : ! | ) )\\|||// ! |-'(. `-----. |-' `.______ | o!0 Music hath charms to soothe A harpist from California has learned how sounds can help soothe even the largest animal and has used her skills to help scores of pet hospitals and zoos. Harpist Susan Raimond travels the nation visiting noticeably stressed animals and using her skill-set to calm the beasts with music, the New York Post reported. In addition to in-person visits, Raimond offers tips in the book, "Through a Dog's Ear." The book includes a chapter in which she offers dog owners hints on how to improve their canine's behaviors and health through simple sounds and tunes. Pianist Lisa Spector, also of California, has created music aimed at soothing animals. She even recorded an album of classical compositions to elicit calm behavior. That disc accompanies the "Ear" book, the Post said. -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Man denied request to wear short skirt ---------- CLINTON, La. - A professional landscaper in Louisiana who suffers from painful heat rash said he was denied a request to wear a short skirt because it's against the law. Jay Herrod's request was turned down after he explained his situation to the Clinton Board of Aldermen at a town meeting Wednesday, WAFB-TV, Baton Rouge, reported. "It's very painful. It's easy for somebody to point their finger at me and judge me, but honestly, if you went through what I went through, you would do it too," Herrod said. Herrod reportedly can often be seen in the summer wearing a small green skirt while mowing lawns around town. He says the short skirt lessens his pain, which is worsened by sweat build-up. Officials said Herrod's short skirt goes against a city law barring anyone from sagging their pants or exposing themselves. The board told Herrod they would reconsider his request when he could provide a doctor's note. .--. / 6_6 \ (__\ // \\ (( )) =======""===""=============== jgs ||| ||| '|' -- Bird saves the day with police siren call --------- ZHENGZHOU, China - A Chinese woman said her pet bird, a gray myna named Mao Mao, successfully frightened away two robbers with her realistic imitation of a police siren. The bird's owner, known only as Yuan, said Mao Mao's siren call saved the day last week when she noticed her motor- cycle was missing from outside her Zhengzhou, China home, China Daily reported. Yuan said she went outside to investigate and saw what looked like a man fleeing the area after Mao Mao began sounding her siren-like call. On another occasion, Mao Mao scared away a man who was attempting to take hanging bacon from Yuan's window, the report said. Yuan told the newspaper she thinks Mao Mao learned her siren call from emergency vehicles driving around in the area. ============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: A wholesale dealer who had a lot of trouble in getting a certain retailer to pay his bills finally lost patience and wrote the merchant a threatening letter. He received the following reply: "Dear Sir: What do you mean by writing me a letter like that? Every month I place all my bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don't like my way of doing business, I won't even put your bills in the hat." -<>- "This year, there are some major changes that you, as a tax- payer, should be aware of. This year, every taxpayer, living or dead, must file two tax returns. One of these is your regular tax return, which is for your regular federal govern- ment headquartered in Washington, D.C. But you must also file a shadow tax return, including a shadow tax payment. "This is a top-secret operation that, according to The Washington Post, has been set up in a heavily guarded, un- disclosed location in the basement of the Big Boy restaurant in Bismarck, N.D. The function of the shadow government is to ensure that, even if the "unthinkable" happens, we, as American citizens, will still have a central federal authority with the ability and resources to provide us with a tax code. "The shadow government is basically a scaled-down version of the one in Washington, with everything necessary to continue critical government operations, including lobbyists, an exact working replica of Dick Cheney, a Starbucks, a five- foot-high Washington monument, and a miniature "congress" made up of gerbils wearing tiny suits who have been trained to hold hearings and authorize the construction of unnecessary highway projects named after Robert C. Byrd." -Dave Barry -<>- @ ) (_m_\ \\" _.`~. `(#'/.\) .>' (_--, _=/d . ^\ ~~ \)-' ' / | ptr ##'##'#after a:f############## ################################# One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened. The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?" "Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe." =============================================================== >-->*Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*.. AMC Voyager 2 ______ 0 (_ __) .-""""-. 0 ) (___/ '. 0 ( ___ : _) (__ \ .' (______) '-....-' 1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before. 2. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right. 3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly. 4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life- form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat. 5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well- stocked Enterprise sick-bay. 6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive. 7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident. 8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads. 9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff. 10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial. 11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate. 12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. How- ever, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems. 13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction. 14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp ex- perience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century. 15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. 16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious. ___________________ _ __.-------.__ / /||||||||||||||\ | \ .-' `-. \__\||||||||||||||/_|_/.' \ ,-----, / `. ~~~~\~~~~\~~~~~~ __/ `, \ / ,' \ _,--` ___\__,--' / /`, \ ___ / ,' \ /__,--' ______| `,---`__ \ ,' \ | | -------`. . | |==,-` ` | | | _|_-------,______| |==`-,__' | | | \_ `--,___ __ | ,`---,___/ `, / | `--, / `--._\ \,' / \ `, / ______/____/_________\ ,' / \ `, / / /||||||||||||||\ | \`. / `-----' \ .' \__\||||||||||||||/_|_/ `-.__ __.-' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `-------' 17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher. 18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him. ============================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: DEEP THOUGHTS In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened? Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year? Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks? How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes? Why do men forget everything and women remember everything? Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right? Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women? If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to? As seen in Laughter for a Saturday. To Subscribe send an email to ed548@yahoo.com Please put SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. ==== This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or to ajokeaday7-subscribe@topica.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends or post on the net. ==== Worth Repeating..... Unswerving loyalty to duty, constant devotion to truth, and a clear conscience will overcome every discouragement and surely lead the way to usefulness and high achievement. - Grover Cleveland ==== >DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW… .---. /_____\__ .===. _ _ `\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ ( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. / _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ /\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) \ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) |_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) | | | |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ \__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) - The name of your first pet and how you gott him - Your favorite food when you were growing uup and who made it for you - How much you made an hour at your first joob - The awards or honors you received during yyour school years and which one meant the most to you - Your favorite vacation spot and why - How you and your husband met and how he assked you to marry him - How old you were when you got your first ccell phone - Your most embarrassing moment in school - The worst prank you ever played and if youu got caught - Nicknames you've had and why you had them - The worst or funniest date you ever had - Who your best friend was throughout schooll, what you liked about them, and what kinds of things the two of you did together - If you were ever picked on as a child and what you did about it - What you miss most about being a kid .---. /_____\__ .===. _ _ `\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ ( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. / _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ /\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) \ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) |_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) | | | |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ \__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) Do You Know Your Children's… - Favorite holiday memory - Dream vacation spot - The celebrity they'd most like to meet - Current best friend - Current favorite song or TV show - Favorite animal - Favorite subject in school - Most cherished possession - Best memory of a family event - Hopes for the future as seen at www.imom.com =============================================================== >-->FUN Places to Net Visit :) 101 Web Resources for Students http://studenthacks.org/2008/03/04/resources/ HOW TO QUIT SMOKING http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html -<>- >From The Mouth: TACKY POSTCARDS This site is dedicated to "preserving the bad taste of our era for future generations" by showcasing the most noxious postcards known to mail. Visit: TACKY POSTCARDS --- ABSURD INVENTIONS Dozens of actual patented items, including Bulletproof Buttocks, Wig Flipper, Diaper Alarm, and Toilet Landing Lights. Visit: ABSURD INVENTIONS -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Desert Quest http://www.poetrybyken.com/tpoems29/Desert%20Quest.html Judy w/ Do we Have The Same Attorney http://frommyheart2u.com/misc/dowehavethesameattorney Staying Safe In This World http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/stayingsafe.html Mustard Museum http://www.mustardmuseum.com/about_mustard Titanic History http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/ Cereal Recall http://www.malt-o-meal.com/recallinfo/ Nothing Like A Good Book http://www.buffalosjokes.com/60545.htm Cookie Blues http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21727.htm Dentyne http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21728.htm Dogs http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21729.htm Domino http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21730.htm To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com ============================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The Golf Masters is on CBS. If Fox had the Golf Masters, they'd extreme it up. You'd have to play an actual Tiger instead of Tiger Woods." -Craig Ferguson "In England now, you can buy a $100 cup of coffee — or as Starbucks calls it, half off." -Jimmy Kimmel "During a speech President Bush urged Chinese leaders to talk to the Dalai Lama and called him 'a really fine man.' Bush said, 'I used to be reluctant to meet with him — then I found out he's not a real llama.'" -Conan O'Brien If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. --Phil Pastoret "A lot of Democrats are asking President Bush to boycott the opening of the Olympics. Well, good luck with that. With the flags, the parades, the balloons? He loves balloons!" - Jay Leno "A new TV commercial for Hillary Clinton says that she has a spine of steel. When he heard this, John McCain said, 'Oh yeah? Well I've got a titanium hip'." - Conan O'Brien "A couple of big birthdays today. Hugh Hefner and porn star Jenna Jameson. One is a cranky old geezer who has had sex with hundreds of women and the other is one is Hugh Hefner." - Craig Ferguson "According to his tax return, last year Vice President Dick Cheney donated over $166,000 to charity. Most of the money went to Cheney's favorite holiday charity, 'Coal for Tots.'" -Conan O'Brien "Taxes are due Tuesday. I recommend this: At 11 o'clock Tuesday night, take 20 minutes to make up a bunch of numbers. Put them in an envelope; drive around until you find one of those post offices that are open until midnight. No problem." -Jimmy Kimmel "Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush administration, your bank account is being liberated." —Jay Leno ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSE :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************