Bet You Didn`t Know & More ... :) Shangy!
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===========================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
>I spent some time getting the AGIFS updated.
Added over a 100 new graphics to the AGIF Animations library
including some for Mother's Day. Visit the Gallery here:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/agifs.html
-<>-
>Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
How many of you have little kids or grand kids that love watching
SpongeBob? He is hard to miss. When he first came out my husband
thought it was a joke. Somebody's 'dare' gone crazy! Like somebody
saying 'I bet ya I can make a cartoon of a sponge and the kids
will eat it up!' sort of thing.
Well, anyway, here's little SpongeBob and I have to watch hours of him
every time my grandson comes over. My husband and I know his little song
by heart. He actually is an OK cartoon. Surprising enough. In his world,
life is fun and work is fun and friends are fun and even jellyfish are fun.
So when I heard of this place called Jellyfish Lake, I thought of this
funny yellow sponge with pants on and his butterfly net going crazy
chasing after them.
You know what's cool? At Jellyfish Lake you could do just that without
risk of serious burns from being stung. Just like SpongeBob. These
jellyfish are special. You have to see it to believe it, But it is REAL!
So Of Course, I had to do a page on it to share with everyone! God gave
us a wonderful big world just so we could be oooed and awwwed by His
greatness! Jellyfish Lake is just one of those places.
(( .-vv-.
,######. ))
.&&&&&&,
!!!!!!!'
/`;;;;;;`\
` ) ( )( `
( )( ) ))
(( ) ( )(
( ( )
) ( ))
(( ( JrS
Jellyfish Lake
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/jellyfish.html
*~* ENJOY - AND BE SURE TO PASS THIS ON - GOD BLESS *~*
=============================================
>-->From Our Friend Buffalo :)
!||
!||||
,/||||
!|'''|
`\ |
)\ \
ejm / \ \
\
Payer Request for a sweet fine lady who writes her own
poetry and has a beautiful web site. She wrote:
I WAS GOING TO DO AN UPDATE THIS MONTH BUT FELL AND FRACTURED
MY LEFT WRIST, BONE CONTUSIONS ON RIGHT, AND A KNEE CAP THEY
THOUGHT WAS BROKEN. IT SHOWED OKAY ON XRAY. I HAVE BEEN HOME
FOR OVER 2 WEEKS AND NOT ON COMPUTER DUE TO PAIN IN BOTH ARMS.
THIS MEANS MORE TO ME THAN WORDS CAN SAY.- HUGS, CAROL
Carol w/Love You Like It's My Last
http://www.carolspoetry.com/itlast.html
---
...PLEASE PRAY For a speedy recovery for Carol. And VISIT
Her web site and let her know you are praying for her.
Thanks All - It's what we do In Christ for each other that counts!
========================================
>-->From FunnyBone: Another Speeding Motorist Is Caught
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of
cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a
speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was
pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was
about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was
speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other
cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the
ticket?"
"Ever go fishing?"
the policeman ,__
suddenly asked | `'.
the man. __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._
\='. _/..--'`__ `'-._
"Ummm, yeah..." \- '-.--"` === / o `',
the startled man )= ( .--_ | _.'
replied. /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.
/_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ _.'
The officer jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-'`
grinned and added, /_.' `/";';`|
"Ever catch *all* the fish?" \` .'/
'--'
======================================================================
+---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+
ENGLAND
_A
.'`"`'.
/ , , \
| <\^/> |
| < (_) >|
/====\
(.--._ _.--.)
|\ -`\- /|
|(_.- >-.)|
\__.-'^'._/
|\ . /
_.'\ '----'|'-.
_.-' O ;-.__.' \O `o.
/o \ \/-.-\/| \
jgs| ;, '.|\| /
Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.
It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public
conveyance.
In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in
public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.
Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.
Anal sex is prohibited.
It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is
on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand
is on the vehicle.
In Chester, you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow
and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.
===================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Budha :)
>Firemans Son
_____
.'.---.'.
// , \\
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jgs \ '---' /
'--.___.--'
This is an excellent idea......and to
have come from a teenager....just think!!!!!!!!
An idea from the son of a 9/11
Firefighter... So before you delete this, just
Remember that this is a 14
Year-old boy who lost his father on September 11th.
All you're asked to do is type, point and click.
He's got a really great idea. Thanks!
---
...This is one of those on-line petitions. I looked this one up
because so many of them are hoax's. This ONE IS TRUE.
Visit here for the full details of it:
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/firemen.asp
However, it is best if you sign the official web petition instead
of the email one. Visit here to Sign Petition
http://www.petitiononline.com/91101/petition.html
*~* Thank You Budha. This is a good one!
==================================================================
>-->From Our Friend John-Paul :)
>Bet You Didn`t Know...
_
( ) ,,,,,
\\ . . ,
\\ | - D
(._) \__- |
| |
\\|_ , ,---- _ |----.
\__ ( ( / ) _
| \/ \. ' _.| \ ( )
| \ /( / /\_ \ //
\ / ( / / ) //
( , / / , (_.)
|......\ | \,
/ / ) \---
b'ger /___/___^//
You Have:
300 Bones, that Fuses into 206 at adulthood
Some have Extra Bones in the Arch of Foot.
1 out of 20 have an Extra Rib.
Your body operates on 10 pints of Blood.
(That is 5 quarts -- right?)
About the same as a V8 engine.
(Vrooom-Vrooom!)
120,000 hair Follicles,
With as many as 140,000 if you are a Natural Blonde
And 90,000 if you are a Natural Redhead
(your head may differ-- So Please comb Accordingly) -:)
---
...God's got your back though as Jesus says here
Luke 12:7 - But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered..
60% Of Your Weight is Water
(So if you feel wishy-Washy; maybe it is because your Body is aprox.
54% to 60% water).
Now let me see-- that`s only about 18% Bones, huh? (slosh, slosh)
You own some 93 miles of Peripheral Nerves.
(see why you are so nervous?)
Your fastest nerve send impulses at up to 395 feet per second, and
up to 300 impulses per second.
(Woo-Wee!, That`s fast).
So that`s why you are so impulsive? mmmm)
You have more than 640 skeletal muscles.
You ask, which muscle is the largest?
(O, my,You are sitting on it).
Now let`s see;
About your heart.
Although your Heart is only about the size of your fist, and
weights about 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound---
It does the amount of work that it would take, to lift your
body straight up one mile, Beating 100,000 times a day.
(The little Fellow will Beat some 2.5 Billion times in your Lifetime--
That is if you take care of it ).
(That would take you out of this World, and would make you
a space traveler-- huh?).
What about Your Nose?
Although you can recognize some 10,000 Smells,
There are only four basic types of smells.
Fragrant, Acid, rancid, and burnt.
(I Know what you are tinking-- DON`T go there!)
You see, Smell is a sense, we become accustomed to most quickly;
Most odores can hardly be perceived just in 30 seconds though,
after they are first detected
(Again, I know what you are thinking -- so don`t go there).
Lastly, what about the Ears?
Most people can Hear Sound Frequencies form 20 Hz (Hertz) or
Waves per Seconds. You may hear some lower frequencies than a `
Bat can, but you can also hear some higher than a bird.
Of course a bat can hear higher frequencies than us, and
birds can hear lower Frequencies than us.
(O, Yes. Bats and Birds did beat us in the
"Being~Able~to~Fly" department -- as well).
Well, just maybe, Now we should not be just a little Smarter??`
mmmmm, All this is giving me a `Head-Ache`, So I guess I`ll go
take two Aspirins, and put my `Nerves` to rest----LOL!
Your~Friend~~~~~~John-Paul
---
_
,:'/ _..._
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\ <`.._ )) | .;-. ))
(__. ` ))-' \_ ))'
`'--"` jgs `"""`
...Wow! Thanks John-Paul! God sure did make us mighty fine! So well
that I'm OK even though I got rammed by a full grown boxer mix dog.
This dog looks pretty much like my daughter's dog...
check out the picture here:
http://www.lombardybulldogs.com/
He ran head long into me. I was picking up a toy rubber rat to throw to
him for play time and instead of waiting for me, he ran full speed after
it and rammed my head with his head by accident. What a hard head we
both have! God made us good as neither one of us suffered much more then
a little soreness! Praise God!
=====================================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.
"Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked
the lawyer.
Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my
favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?
Ole continued, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Minnesota
Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks
after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a
fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said
to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite
mule, Bessie."
Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just
loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her
down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and
smacked my truck right in da side. I vas thrown into one ditch and
Bessie vas thrown into da other. I vas hurting, real bad, and didn't
vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew
she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after da accident
da Minnesota Highway Patrolman came to da scene. He could hear Bessie
moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and
saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between
da eyes. Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand,
looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling'? Now vat vould YOU say?"
He NEVER asked me.....
...hiiii haaaaaan...
\
/\/\
/ / /
_/,/ /
_/` (/"/////,
( '```--.___
/' _), ,- '-.
/, / \ (\ \,
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| | .// _/)
( ( \_ // /
\ >_,\ (/)= /
| | | \ #\| /
|=| |=|\ ( (
(=> ( >( >),)
=======================================================================
>-->Kids' Instructions on Life
________________
'------._.------'\
\_______________\
.'| .'|
.'_____________.' .|
| | |
| Scooby _.-. | . |
| * (_.-' | |
| Snacks | .|
| * * | .'
|______________|.' LGB
- Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, Age 10
- When you want something expensive, ask youur grandparents.
Matthew, Age 12
- Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
Rocky, Age 9
- Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressedd in the
morning.
Stephanie, Age 8
- Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in aa glass of milk.
Rosemary, Age 7
- Don't flush the john when your dad is in tthe shower.
Lamar, Age 10
- Never bug a pregnant mom.
Nicholas, Age 11
- Don't ever be too full for dessert.
Kelly, Age 10
- When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I llook stupid?"
don't answer him.
Heather, Age 16
- Never tell your mom her diet's not workingg.
Michael, Age 14
- When you get a bad grade in school, show iit to your
mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, Age 13
- Never try to baptize a cat.
Laura, Age 13
- Never spit when on a roller coaster.
Scott, Age 11
- Never do pranks at a police station.
Sam, Age 10
- Never tell your little brother that you'ree not going to
do what your mom told you to do.
Hank, Age 12
- Remember you're never too old to hold yourr father's hand.
Molly, Age 11
- Listen to your brain. It has lots of inforrmation.
Chelsey, Age 7
- Never dare your little brother to paint thhe family car.
Phillip, Age 13
- Forget the cake, go for the icing.
Cynthia, Age 8
======================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From LifeScrift: Feed Your Face: 10 Foods for Better Skin
Your thighs shouldn’t be your only worry as you rip open that package of
Cheetos. There’s a larger body part you should be concerned about: your
skin. You can’t just shove junk food in your face and expect to have
smooth, supple skin. But swap those cheese puffs for a cup of cottage
cheese and you just might get glowing results. Read on for 10 yummy
foods that’ll fill your belly AND nourish your skin. Plus: Take our quiz
to find out if you’re skin care savvy…
click here to read more
http://www.lifescript.com/HA/44259_4238409_9963_0.htm
-<>-
>From GrassFire:
IN THIS BRIEFING:
*Barack Obama's most dangerous quote (audio)
*Kristol, Leiberman: Barack the Marxist?
*Border fence petition delivery
*What is Al Gore's big secret?
*Foreclosures up 57%; McCain announcing tax cut plan
Go here:
http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6012&RID=10702139
-<>-
>From NRA:
Obama: Change For The Sake Of Expediency
When it comes to the Second Amendment, it's somehow appropriate that
Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama is running on a platform of
"change." Because when it comes to his rhetoric on the issue of gun
rights, "change" is an apt description.
Last month, we reported on Obama's hypocrisy. We detailed his advocacy
of a law to forbid federally licensed gun dealers from legally selling
constitutionally-protected products (firearms) in huge geographical
areas, without holding purveyors of pornography to the same standard.
Last week, we reported on Obama's attempt at reassuring pro-gun voters
by telling them, "I have no intention of taking away folks' guns," then
telling the Pittsburgh Tribune "I am not in favor of concealed weapons,"
and that he favors ".reasonable, thoughtful gun control measure[s].."
Visit Here for more:
http://www.nraila.org/GrassrootsAlerts/
---
_.--"""--._
WHO Can Ya .' '-. `.
__/__ (-. `\ \
TRUST? /o `o \ \ \ \
_\__.__/ )) | | ;
.--;" | | \
( `) | | \
_|`---' .' _, _| | `\
'`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_
.' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \
\'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-;
`"` (___...---''` \
_/_ \
/jgs\
\___/
...The problem with Obama is a little five letter word - TRUST.
He talks a good future walk but his past walk in life hasn't been
so good. It is therefore hard to trust this man.
I saw him in the News last Night. He was asked about his faith. He
obviously had a difficult time with this question. He stuttered and
stammered but did say that he was a Christian and believed that Jesus
died for his sins ...
Listen to One On One with Barack in Muncie here -
about one and half minutes into this:
http://www.wane.com/Global/category.asp?C=47213&nav=menu32_2_11
I think he should memorize Romans 10:9 if he wants to keep
proclaiming he is a Christian. He needs to be able to say what
he is loud and clear without stammering or stumbling on giving
excuses of what his definition of what he is.
1 Peter 3: 15
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always
to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope
that is in you with meekness and fear:"
-<>-
>From CoffeeBreak:
,--,
|__ _ ___/ /\|
:__|_|__/ __ ;( )__, )
/-\|__/-\_/ ; // '--;
\'/ \'/ \ |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
N.Y. activists want to nix horse buggies
Some businesses and animal rights activists are trying to
convince New York officials to replace carriage horses in
Central Park with antique car replicas. The plan's
supporters argue that it is cruel to make horses pull
carriages and that replacing them with "green" Ford Model T
replicas is a more eco-friendly choice, the New York Post
reported. The idea, pioneered by animal rights activist
Jill Weitz, is aimed at maintaining "touring" businesses
that depend on the park, but giving the animals a break,
the Post reported. "The horses will be off the road, but
tourists will still have an option for a romantic ride,"
said New York business owner Steve Nislick. Carolyn Daly,
a spokeswoman for the Horse and Carriage Association of
New York, said the horses should stay. "No one wants to
replace clip-clop, clip-clop with chitty, chitty, bang
bang," she said.
,---.
( ,_ _)
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! |-'(. `-----.
|-' `.______ | o!0
Music hath charms to soothe
A harpist from California has learned how sounds can help
soothe even the largest animal and has used her skills to
help scores of pet hospitals and zoos. Harpist Susan
Raimond travels the nation visiting noticeably stressed
animals and using her skill-set to calm the beasts with
music, the New York Post reported. In addition to in-person
visits, Raimond offers tips in the book, "Through a Dog's
Ear." The book includes a chapter in which she offers dog
owners hints on how to improve their canine's behaviors
and health through simple sounds and tunes. Pianist Lisa
Spector, also of California, has created music aimed at
soothing animals. She even recorded an album of classical
compositions to elicit calm behavior. That disc accompanies
the "Ear" book, the Post said.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
-- Man denied request to wear short skirt ----------
CLINTON, La. - A professional landscaper in Louisiana who
suffers from painful heat rash said he was denied a request
to wear a short skirt because it's against the law. Jay
Herrod's request was turned down after he explained his
situation to the Clinton Board of Aldermen at a town
meeting Wednesday, WAFB-TV, Baton Rouge, reported. "It's
very painful. It's easy for somebody to point their finger
at me and judge me, but honestly, if you went through what
I went through, you would do it too," Herrod said. Herrod
reportedly can often be seen in the summer wearing a small
green skirt while mowing lawns around town. He says the
short skirt lessens his pain, which is worsened by sweat
build-up. Officials said Herrod's short skirt goes against
a city law barring anyone from sagging their pants or
exposing themselves. The board told Herrod they would
reconsider his request when he could provide a doctor's
note.
.--.
/ 6_6
\ (__\
// \\
(( ))
=======""===""===============
jgs |||
|||
'|'
-- Bird saves the day with police siren call ---------
ZHENGZHOU, China - A Chinese woman said her pet bird, a
gray myna named Mao Mao, successfully frightened away two
robbers with her realistic imitation of a police siren.
The bird's owner, known only as Yuan, said Mao Mao's siren
call saved the day last week when she noticed her motor-
cycle was missing from outside her Zhengzhou, China home,
China Daily reported. Yuan said she went outside to
investigate and saw what looked like a man fleeing the
area after Mao Mao began sounding her siren-like call.
On another occasion, Mao Mao scared away a man who was
attempting to take hanging bacon from Yuan's window, the
report said. Yuan told the newspaper she thinks Mao Mao
learned her siren call from emergency vehicles driving
around in the area.
==============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
A wholesale dealer who had a lot of trouble in getting a
certain retailer to pay his bills finally lost patience and
wrote the merchant a threatening letter.
He received the following reply: "Dear Sir: What do you mean
by writing me a letter like that? Every month I place all my
bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to
pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many
bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don't
like my way of doing business, I won't even put your bills
in the hat."
-<>-
"This year, there are some major changes that you, as a tax-
payer, should be aware of. This year, every taxpayer, living
or dead, must file two tax returns. One of these is your
regular tax return, which is for your regular federal govern-
ment headquartered in Washington, D.C. But you must also file
a shadow tax return, including a shadow tax payment.
"This is a top-secret operation that, according to The
Washington Post, has been set up in a heavily guarded, un-
disclosed location in the basement of the Big Boy restaurant
in Bismarck, N.D. The function of the shadow government is
to ensure that, even if the "unthinkable" happens, we, as
American citizens, will still have a central federal authority
with the ability and resources to provide us with a tax code.
"The shadow government is basically a scaled-down version of
the one in Washington, with everything necessary to continue
critical government operations, including lobbyists, an
exact working replica of Dick Cheney, a Starbucks, a five-
foot-high Washington monument, and a miniature "congress"
made up of gerbils wearing tiny suits who have been trained
to hold hearings and authorize the construction of unnecessary
highway projects named after Robert C. Byrd."
-Dave Barry
-<>-
@
)
(_m_\
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`(#'/.\)
.>' (_--,
_=/d . ^\
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/ | ptr
##'##'#after a:f##############
#################################
One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked
up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from
the forge.
He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his
pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened.
The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot,
wasn't it?"
"Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it
just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe."
===============================================================
>-->*Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*..
AMC Voyager
2 ______
0 (_ __) .-""""-.
0 ) (___/ '.
0 ( ___ :
_) (__ \ .'
(______) '-....-'
1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a
type it has encountered several times before.
2. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists,
who are all perfectly all right.
3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works
properly.
4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life-
form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old
life form wearing a funny hat.
5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious
plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-
stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a
less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by
the Starfleet Prime Directive.
7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from
one place to another without serious incident.
8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to
interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out
that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly
diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and
competent engineering staff.
10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien
intelligence which does not put them on trial.
11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien
intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some
chocolate.
12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called
"Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. How-
ever, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it
seems.
13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the
Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area
are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp ex-
perience which is in some way unconnected with the Late
20th Century.
15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet
he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the
end of the episode.
16. Counselor Troi states something other than the
blindingly obvious.
___________________ _ __.-------.__
/ /||||||||||||||\ | \ .-' `-.
\__\||||||||||||||/_|_/.' \ ,-----, / `.
~~~~\~~~~\~~~~~~ __/ `, \ / ,' \
_,--` ___\__,--' / /`, \ ___ / ,' \
/__,--' ______| `,---`__ \ ,' \ |
| -------`. . | |==,-` ` | | |
_|_-------,______| |==`-,__' | | |
\_ `--,___ __ | ,`---,___/ `, / |
`--, / `--._\ \,' / \ `, /
______/____/_________\ ,' / \ `, /
/ /||||||||||||||\ | \`. / `-----' \ .'
\__\||||||||||||||/_|_/ `-.__ __.-'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `-------'
17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort
themselves out after a while without any intervention from
boy genius Wesley Crusher.
18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position
for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of
one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
==============================================================
>-->From SermondFodder: DEEP THOUGHTS
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what the heck happened?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't
they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain'
and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles
they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for
weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all
there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?
Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't
have to live with women?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like
your wife told you to?
As seen in Laughter for a Saturday. To Subscribe send an email to
ed548@yahoo.com
Please put SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.
====
This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day
Ministries. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day
parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or to
ajokeaday7-subscribe@topica.com. Please leave this attached if you
forward this to friends or post on the net.
====
Worth Repeating.....
Unswerving loyalty to duty, constant devotion to truth, and a clear
conscience will overcome every discouragement and surely lead the way
to usefulness and high achievement.
- Grover Cleveland
====
>DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW…
.---.
/_____\__ .===. _ _
`\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \
( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ |
,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
/ _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \
/\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
\ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )(
\| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_)
|_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
| | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
| | | |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\
\__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
|_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
- The name of your first pet and how you gott him
- Your favorite food when you were growing uup and who made it for you
- How much you made an hour at your first joob
- The awards or honors you received during yyour school years and
which one meant the most to you
- Your favorite vacation spot and why
- How you and your husband met and how he assked you to marry him
- How old you were when you got your first ccell phone
- Your most embarrassing moment in school
- The worst prank you ever played and if youu got caught
- Nicknames you've had and why you had them
- The worst or funniest date you ever had
- Who your best friend was throughout schooll, what you liked about
them, and what kinds of things the two of you did together
- If you were ever picked on as a child and what you did about it
- What you miss most about being a kid
.---.
/_____\__ .===. _ _
`\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \
( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ |
,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
/ _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \
/\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
\ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )(
\| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_)
|_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
| | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
| | | |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\
\__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
|_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
Do You Know Your Children's…
- Favorite holiday memory
- Dream vacation spot
- The celebrity they'd most like to meet
- Current best friend
- Current favorite song or TV show
- Favorite animal
- Favorite subject in school
- Most cherished possession
- Best memory of a family event
- Hopes for the future
as seen at www.imom.com
===============================================================
>-->FUN Places to Net Visit :)
101 Web Resources for Students
http://studenthacks.org/2008/03/04/resources/
HOW TO QUIT SMOKING
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html
-<>-
>From The Mouth:
TACKY POSTCARDS
This site is dedicated to "preserving the bad taste of
our era for future generations" by showcasing the most
noxious postcards known to mail.
Visit:
TACKY POSTCARDS
---
ABSURD INVENTIONS
Dozens of actual patented items, including Bulletproof
Buttocks, Wig Flipper, Diaper Alarm, and Toilet Landing
Lights.
Visit:
ABSURD INVENTIONS
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Desert Quest
http://www.poetrybyken.com/tpoems29/Desert%20Quest.html
Judy w/ Do we Have The Same Attorney
http://frommyheart2u.com/misc/dowehavethesameattorney
Staying Safe In This World
http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/stayingsafe.html
Mustard Museum
http://www.mustardmuseum.com/about_mustard
Titanic History
http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/
Cereal Recall
http://www.malt-o-meal.com/recallinfo/
Nothing Like A Good Book
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/60545.htm
Cookie Blues
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21727.htm
Dentyne
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21728.htm
Dogs
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21729.htm
Domino
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21730.htm
To subscribe send a blank email to
lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com
============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The Golf Masters is on CBS. If Fox had the Golf Masters,
they'd extreme it up. You'd have to play an actual Tiger
instead of Tiger Woods." -Craig Ferguson
"In England now, you can buy a $100 cup of coffee — or as
Starbucks calls it, half off." -Jimmy Kimmel
"During a speech President Bush urged Chinese leaders to
talk to the Dalai Lama and called him 'a really fine man.'
Bush said, 'I used to be reluctant to meet with him — then
I found out he's not a real llama.'" -Conan O'Brien
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog
biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two
of them. --Phil Pastoret
"A lot of Democrats are asking President Bush to boycott
the opening of the Olympics. Well, good luck with that.
With the flags, the parades, the balloons? He loves
balloons!"
- Jay Leno
"A new TV commercial for Hillary Clinton says that she
has a spine of steel. When he heard this, John McCain
said, 'Oh yeah? Well I've got a titanium hip'."
- Conan O'Brien
"A couple of big birthdays today. Hugh Hefner and porn
star Jenna Jameson. One is a cranky old geezer who has
had sex with hundreds of women and the other is one is
Hugh Hefner."
- Craig Ferguson
"According to his tax return, last year Vice President Dick
Cheney donated over $166,000 to charity. Most of the money
went to Cheney's favorite holiday charity, 'Coal for Tots.'"
-Conan O'Brien
"Taxes are due Tuesday. I recommend this: At 11 o'clock
Tuesday night, take 20 minutes to make up a bunch of numbers.
Put them in an envelope; drive around until you find one of
those post offices that are open until midnight. No problem."
-Jimmy Kimmel
"Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush
administration, your bank account is being liberated."
—Jay Leno
---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSE :)Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html
Shangrala
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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