Bluenecks And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo /~, .-.-.~ ~/.-.-. '. .' ,___.-.-.'. .'~ ~/! ~/, '. .'\ ! ___/,! .-.-. ! \! / .-.-. '. .' ! ,|/ '. .' ! |~ ! ! ~| ! \|/ lc ~"^"~"^"~ *~* HELP! We NEED 2009 Angels for the web site! _ _ (\o/) {\o/} jgs /_\ /_\ >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is appreciated - even just 5 dollars! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 ~* THANK YOU! GOD'S MOST ABUNDANT BLESSINGS TO YOU! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Our Friend PatH sent us an adorable picture of her pom which I added to our photos in our group so all could enjoy! ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB See Rusty hamming it up here... http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/photos/browse/1f2a?b=58&m=t&o=0 --- ...So Sweet! Thank You PatH! -<>- ) ) (( ( ( )) ) ) ) // ( _ ( __ ( ~->> ,-----' |__,_~~___<'__`)-~__--__-~->> < | // : | -__ ~__ o)____)),__ - '> >- > | // : |- \_ \ -\_\ -\ \ \ ~\_ \ ->> - , >> | // : |_~_\ -\__\ \~'\ \ \, \__ . -<- >> `-----._| ` -__`-- - ~~ -- ` --~> > _/___\_ //)_`// | ||] ________ _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L_/ || _________( )____ [____________________]' `\_,/'/ O ( _ )_ ||| / ||| ,___,'./ _ (_ \ \/ / |_| / \ /\ || _) ||| \ |||,'______| (_) (_ \/\/ | | \_/ /--\ .. ) ||| / /|| I==|| (______ ________) ||| \ __/_|| __||__ (_________) -----||-/------`-._/||-o--o---o--- ~~~~~' Ool >Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We've got two pages that are SIZZLIN' Hot! This first one comes to us from one of the site visitors who asked for a link back to her art page. Well, I went to her page and was in awe at the great work that she does! So much so, that I asked to do up a page to highlight her art and she agreed. Check out her fine art work here: Feather Painting Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather2.html Be sure to go and check out the rest of her art on her site too! -+- ) ( ( ( ) ( )) ( )// _ ) )) __ ,-----' | (( <'__`) ____ | // : | ) #o)#: )) ,' `. | // : | )/ \###' ____/ SMOKIN \ | // : | ,###. `-._ HOT!!!| `-----._| __ ####### \_______/ _/___\_ //)_`// | ||] ___,' _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L_/ || [____________________]' `\_,/'/ ||| / ||| ,___,'./ ||| \ |||,'______| ||| / /|| I==|| ||| \ __/_|| __||__ -----||-/------`-._/||-o--o---o--- ~~~~~' Ool >We have two new pages from our friend Jo Ann. One is sizzlin' hot and the other is still smokin' This super hot one is for all you truckers out there! I had never heard of these, but they are big rigs beyond what I ever could of imagined! Totally MANLY Trucks! Turn up your sound and Check them out here... Road Train Trucks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html This page also comes to us from our friend Jo Ann. Such beautiful animal pictures, I couldn't resist finding out some interesting facts about them and doing up a page. Hope you enjoy it as much as I! Endangered Wolf http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html --- ...Thank you so much Jo Ann! {{HUGS|| ============================================================ >-->An Et-Ahem! From TheFunnyBone: The Reverend John Fuzz... The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. sSSSSSs "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. SS;; SSSS "This is no place for a member of my congre- S< ?SSS gation. Why don't you let me take you home?" S> SSS ___)(____ "Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very ( \/ ) drunk. \||, )( ( / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she \./ )==( / / began to weave back and forth. The reverend / \//' realized that she had had too much to drink and ( '|\` he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When \ / he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled \ / to the floor. After rolling around for a few ) ( seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of / \ Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. / \ jgs / \ The bartender looked over the bar and said, `-........-' "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that / ) / ) carrying on in this bar." /_/|/_/| The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't under- stand, I'm Pastor Fuzz." The bartender nodded. "Well then you may as well finish." ================================================================== +----------- More Bizarre Holidays In January ------------+ January 11 is National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day January 12 is Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day January 13 is Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day January 14 is National Dress Up Your Pet Day January 15 is Hat Day January 16 is Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day January 17 is Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day January 18 is Winnie the Pooh Day January 19 is National Popcorn Day January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _ ' ` ,`-' __ ( ,-" "---, _ ,' `--"| ,' ,-" ' )--' / | / //",-",-._,'."-- . _ `/ .--="_.' / `. ; /`""" `-' ` \( , ` ``-\ ' ," ( ,' ,' `.._ __,-"\-, ' `-.-._,._,'__... `,-. ,' . __ \ ,-. \-: \ , __ _/-" \,--""\ \_\ \_\_/ , ,-" / ' _.--\_..." \ , { _,-" -" | ` ` `-" __..`-. \ \ ,-" __..-"" . `-._ "" __,--" __...' \ _,--" __..--"" / : _..-"" __.,-'" _.-' ,-"" _.,-"" ,' ; _.-"" ,' | _.-" ," `'..._ / ` _ / `.___...-; `"-./ | ' | ' | ' | I__ ,= .-._| |_|`.__.' KaK `--" >Wrapping up Christmas... Jesus is Better than Santa Santa lives at the North Pole. JESUS is everywhere. Santa rides in a sleigh JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water. Santa comes but once a year JESUS is an ever present help. Santa fills your stockings with goodies JESUS supplies all your needs. Santa comes down your chimney uninvited JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. and then enters your heart. You have to stand in line to see Santa JESUS is as close as the mention of His name. Santa lets you sit on his lap JESUS lets you rest in His arms. Santa doesn't know your name, he says "Hi, What's your name?" JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads. Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly JESUS has a heart full of love. All Santa can offer is HO HO HO JESUS offers health, help and hope. Santa says "You better not cry" JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you. Santa's little helpers make toys JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions. Santa may make you chuckle but JESUS gives you joy that is your strength. While Santa puts gifts under your tree JESUS became our gift and died on the tree. It's obvious there is really no comparison. We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about. We need to put Christ back in Christmas. Jesus is still the reason for the season. May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and your loved ones this New Year --- ...Well Said! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- { { } }_{ __{ .-{ } }-. ( } { ) |`-.._____..-'| | ;--. | (__ \ | | ) ) | |/ / | / / -Felix Lee- | ( / \ y' `-.._____..-' >Good News For Coffee Drinkers: Your favorite morning brew has a surprising new perk. Good news for the 80 percent of Americans who down an average of 3.2 cups of Java a day: Your liver loves it. And because the liver is your body's vital detox center, that's a big health plus. It's not the caffeine. Apparently, it's the antioxidants or other compounds in coffee that keep your liver humming. So if you were just thinking you could do with a cup of Joe, go for it. The liver is a major multitasker. It's a housekeeper: It filters toxins from the blood, cleaning pollutants, alcohol, useless residues, nicotine, and other garbage out of the body. It's also a stock clerk: It keeps extra carbohydrates on hand and releases them when blood sugar levels are low, plus it warehouses fat-soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K for future use. It's a body builder, too: The liver makes proteins to build muscles, and it produces bile, which is needed to digest fat. Evidence that coffee takes some stress off the liver was discovered when scientists determined that coffee lovers have fewer liver enzymes in their blood than do coffee shunners -- and that's a good thing. Liver enzymes are an indication of liver damage. What's more, coffee's protective effect was even more pronounced in moderate to heavy drinkers, even though alcohol can be particularly taxing on the liver (however, there's no way coffee can make up for the damage that long-term heavy alcohol consumption does to the liver). Ready for a refill? -<>- _....._ ';-.--';' }===={ _.---.._ .' '. ';-..--'; /:: \ `}===={ |:: : ' '. \::. _.---_ \ '::_ _`---..-'; | ````` }====={ / .' '. _.' /:: \ ` |:: | \::. / jgs '::_ _.' `````` >The Sack Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me. ' Chicago - to Great Lakes Base. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Iraq ' After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time. As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to Chicago ' His friend agreed. I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.' Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?' 'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. 'This is your thanks.' After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars. Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said, 'I want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars! Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.' Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little... ------ \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.' --- ...Excellent one! Thanks Jo Ann! ============================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >Problems with same sex marriage... Lesbian couple wins suit against Methodist camp http://www.onenewsnow.com/Legal/Default.aspx?id=369390 >From BizarreNews: )====( /` `\ /\_ _, \ / '-< )_,\ / //=\\\ '._ _.' `";";;"` -- Man denied request to wear short skirt ---------- CLINTON, La. - A professional landscaper in Louisiana who suffers from painful heat rash said he was denied a request to wear a short skirt because it's against the law. Jay Herrod's request was turned down after he explained his situation to the Clinton Board of Aldermen at a town meeting Wednesday, WAFB-TV, Baton Rouge, reported. "It's very painful. It's easy for somebody to point their finger at me and judge me, but honestly, if you went through what I went through, you would do it too," Herrod said. Herrod reportedly can often be seen in the summer wearing a small green skirt while mowing lawns around town. He says the short skirt lessens his pain, which is worsened by sweat build-up. Officials said Herrod's short skirt goes against a city law barring anyone from sagging their pants or exposing themselves. The board told Herrod they would reconsider his request when he could provide a doctor's note. . . + : . : _ . ! ' (_) ,|.' - -- ---(-O-`--- -- - ,`|'`. , ! . : : " . --+-- .: . ! O!o -- Survey says: Churchill walked on moon ---------- LONDON - A third of elementary school students confused Sir Winston Churchill with moon-walking astronaut Neil Armstrong, a British survey found. The survey, commissioned by Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment and the Royal Astronomical Society, found that a third of children ages 4 to 10 mixed up the British leader with the first man to set foot on the moon, London's Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. "It's a bit of a worry to find that children don't know who the first man on the moon is, let alone that they don't know who led the country to victory in the Second World War," said Gavin Quirk, a Disney brand manager. A similar survey of British teens in February reportedly showed that 25 percent believe Churchill was a fictional character. -- Coffin painted like Pabst beer can ----------- SOUTH CHICAGO HEIGHTS, Ill. - A South Chicago Heights, Ill., man who says he wants his death to reflect his life has purchased a casket designed to look like a huge can of his favorite beer. Bill Bramanti, 67, said the casket, for which he paid $2,000 to have decorated like a giant can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, was designed to function as a beverage cooler until its owner is ready to be put into the grave, the Southtown Star of Tinley Park, Ill., reported Monday. "I'm going to use it as a cooler until I really need it," Bramanti said. "You see, I'm going to get my money's worth. Hopefully I get to use it many times." Bramanti said he revealed the unusual coffin to his family during a mock-wake at his house. He said the event featured family members drinking cans of Pabst from the ice-filled casket. "I wouldn't expect anything less for my dad," said Bramanti's daughter, Cathy, 42. "He's a man that loves to entertain. He likes it when people are happy. This is what he does." ============================================================== >-->CleanLaffs: __ ___ / / ___( (\_( ) )/ / |\___` \\_\/_/_/_\ | | ____/\_\`._._.. | ||\__/ '_\ \`_._\ \|| | | | | | | || | |^| | | | \ | | | | \|ejm__| |____| GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN * Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh. * The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack. * If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning Your wife: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree? You: It's a gift! See? It has a bow! Your wife: (peering into the trash bag) It's a leaf blower. You: Gas-powered! Five horsepower! Your wife: I want a divorce. You: I also got you some myrrh. In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt. -<>- + * + + + `.!.' * + + -=x=- + .'!`. * + + ! * + + + + + * + * + ,-. * //"\\ + * + * // \\ * // = \\ + w w w + + //___o O \\ \O O O ||\_/|\|\ || + |\ `|\ '|\ _ ___||_Y_| \_\||_________|_\_|_\__|_\ hjw Top 10 Excuses Made by Innkeepers in Bethlehem... 10. Roman's "Stay Free" promotion a bit too successful. 9. Wife said he couldn't accept olive wood carvings as payment anymore. 8. Too busy getting new "Motel One" franchise going. 7. Last pregnant lady riding a donkey took all their towels. 6. Filled up for the "Caesar Impersonators'" convention. 5. Didn't accept the Judean Express Card. 4. Last room left was by the ice machine. 3. Nazareth Shriners tore up the place the night before. 1. No last names, no service. -<>- No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. -<>- My wife doesn't complain often, but once she was having a old-fashioned "heart-to-heart" with me and said, "Hon, you never listen to me. Every time I try to talk to you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a few seconds. Please promise me you'll try to work on that." The last thing I remember was replying, "I'm sorry, what was that you were saying?" -<>- _____ | | \ | | \ | | \___ | | \ | | \ ~~O __|_|___________| /\/ /____|____________) . / \_|___O /____________| O |/__ | /_oo-#= __ )( __ /| | |\\ :| .| \/ /_/ )( \_\ / |. ||__ |, |, __|| ejm 97 | |\\ /|\ /|\ //| | The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage. The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "Who did that? Who did that?" -<>- A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum. The bar- tender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!" ============================================================== >-->Late Show Top Ten Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise On The Internet 10. I sleep upside down suspended in a special bat-like harness 9. During the filming of "Days Of Thunder," on a dare, I ate a tire 8. I still wear those underpants from "Risky Business" 7. My real name is Tom Blagojevich 6. I once Heimliched a koala 5. Once a month, I take the Universal Studio tour naked 4. I believe all emotional and psychological disorders can be cured with Vicks VapoRub 3. I'm a power-mad egomaniac who's completely insulated from reality. Oh, wait, no that's Letterman 2. After jumping on her couch, Oprah hammer-locked me till I coughed blood 1. I keep a cell phone in my pants so I can tell friends, "Call my butt" ============================================================= >-->From TheJokester: >To Clear Up Any Confusion ______......-------'''''''; =, -==(______------=======:::::::;======" ``````-------.......; -Felix Lee- 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry, but ONLY under the following circumstances: ____ ____ _,',--.`-. _,',--.`-. <_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) > `-:__;,-' \ `A:__:,-' \ / \ (( ) \-' \ \ ( ) -Shimrod `-'"`-----' (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, feel free to complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have biblically known her. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of 'entertainment' (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend. ___ __ (_ ( . ) )__ '. \ : / .' '(___(_____) __ '. \ : / .' /. _\ '. \ : / .' .--.|/_/__ -----____ _ _____----- _______________''.--o/___ \_______________(_)___________ ~ /.'o|_o '.| ~ ~ ~ ~ |/ |_| ~' ~ ' ~ |_| ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |_|O ~ ~ ~ ___|_||_____ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ .'':. .|_|A:. ..::''. /:. .:::|_|.\ .:. :.:\ ~ ~ :..:. .:. .::..: .: ..:. ~ ~ ~ \.: .: :. .: ..:: .lcf/ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... delivered by a topless model, and only when it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem; you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just plain greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: \\\/// \(..)/ ( _> ) _/'--/_ /^ _ _ `\ .' / \ ) | \' '// ,, < < | | \ ,, ||, `. \\ . /, \ ,|| =|||===(((==========)))===|||= ||^ /`:----/\ `|| `` ( \ / \ `` | /`^\ | | | | | | / \ | / `| |^ \ | / \ | | | | | / \ | \ gnv .oooO LOoo a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue. 27: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?', with: 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' - gets a Playstation 3!! End of story. 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. 29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: * 'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?' * 'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the butt and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!' ======================================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP JEST FOR KIDS Why are baseball players so rich? Because they play on diamonds! (Mike, 9) What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car? A red carnation. (Carol Silver) What did the thief get for stealing the calendar? Twelve months. (Joseph Rosenbloom) Why was the computer so good at golf? Because it had a hard drive! ( Kyle, 10) What is a bulldozer? Someone who sleeps while a politician is making a speech.. (Kid’s Jokes) How did everyone know the volcano was angry? Because it was fuming. (Mike Artell) What did one plate say to the other? The foods on me tonight. (Nikki, 8) What did the knight’s mother say to her son at bedtime? Nighty Knight (Walker, 7) Why was the apple tree sad? Because it was always getting picked on (Sam, 8) Why is it hard to keep a bank robbery secret? Because so many people who work in the bank are tellers. (Joseph Rosenbloom) Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. (Carol Silver) What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs. (Carol Silver) Why did the boxer wear gloves to bed? Because he wanted to hit the sack! (Allie, 13) Why were the walls arrested? Because they were holding up the ceiling. (Joseph Rosenbloom) Why did the fly fly Because the spider spied her. (Keayva, 11) Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle? Because of all the cheetahs. (Joseph Rosenbloom) How to you organize a spacey party? You planet.(Daily Groaner) What is a briefcase? A short law suit. (Kid’s Jokes) . What do you call a flying primate? A hot air baboon! (Rilene, 11) Did you hear about the farmer who wrote dirty letters? He used a pig pen. (Mike Benny) Did you hear about the knitting needle that told jokes? It could keep you in stitches. (Mike Benny) Where do fish go on a date? To a dive in movie! (Ashley, 9) Did you hear about the school bus that had to repeat a grade? Its brakes failed. (Mike Benny) What's special about leaving your ice cream in Death Valley? You desert your dessert in the desert. (Mike Artell) What kind of candy would a doomed prisoner like to have before he is hanged? A Life Saver. (Joseph Rosenbloom) What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors? A piano. (Carol Silver) How do you make cool music? Put your CDs in the fridge! (Pallavi, 11) Why should you never iron a four leaf clover? You shouldn't press your luck. (Daily Groaner) What do you get if you cross a parrot and a centipede? A walkie talkie (Daily Groaner) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper! (Susan, 7) What fish do pelicans eat? Anything that fits the bill.. (Kid’s Jokes) What did the doctor ask the bananas? “Are you pealing OK?” (Tiger, 4) How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you step in a poodle! (Joe, 14) What happens when a Dalmatian comes out of the shower? It’s spotless (Adilene, 11) How do rabbits travel? By hareplane (Jose, 8) Why did the monster cry on Halloween? Because he missed his mummy (Julian, 7) One of our pigs was sick so I gave him some sugar. Sugar! What for? Haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham? (Daily Groaner) -<>- >Bluenecks Bluenecks Are NORTHERNERS. By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF: _.(-)._ .' '. / \ |'-...___...-'| \ '=' / `'._____.'` / | \ /.--'|'--.\ []/'-.__|__.-'\[] | jgs [] 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside." 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy! 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits. 5. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried or boiled. 6. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. 7. You have no idea what a polecat is. 8. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. 9. You don't have bangs. 10. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. 11. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. 12. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. 13. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show. 14. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the the head football coach salary. 15. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.(Not to even mention duct tape!) 16. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway. 17. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. 18. You call binoculars opera glasses. 19. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. 20. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt. 21. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice). 22. You don't have doilies, and you don't know how to make one. 23. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 24. You can do your laundry without quarters. 25. None of your fur coats are homemade. -<>- ____,--~~~^^~~~---.____ ___,-' `-.___ | \, \/|_,| | | ,-----_\` `' o`,\/_-------. | | / _/ o o\_ \ | | | (_|(((9 9)))|_) | | | | | o o(_) o | | | | | _.--\ o ___ oo/--._ | | | \ .'-.__ `-.___.-' __>--. / | |,---/ _)-----------(_ \---.| /____\| | |_______________| | |/____\ |/ `-'-' _________ `-'-' \| / _,-' `-._ \ / ,-' `-. \ / \ / \ / _____ _____ \ / ,' `. ,' `. \ / ' ` ' ` \ /_ __.-._.--._ ___ _.----.__ __,----.hjw\ | `--' `--' `---' `-' | | ,--, | | | | | | | / __ ,--. |- | | | ,--. | | | | ( |(---' | | | | (---' | | | | `--' `--' `--' `--^--' `--' `- `- | | ,---. | | | | (____ ,--. ,--. ,--. | | | | ) ( )( ) | | ' ' | `--' `--' `--' ' ' o o Hidden Hospital Bill Charges ----------------------------------- 12> I.V. bottle return deposit in OR, VT, and MA: $3 11> Bill preparation and printing: $30 10> Polysylabbic Obfuscation Redisintermediation: $275 9> Three-second smirk from George Clooney: $8000 8> Bedpan Refrigeration: $48.00 7> Unspecified Aroma: $83 6> Upgrade to hourly sponge baths: $197/day 5> Wheelchair Damage Collision Insurance: $39.25 4> Surgeon's Daughter's Preparatory School Tuition, Kaplan SAT Course, and DKNY Wardrobe Surcharge: $2500 3> Psychologist's fees for nursing staff after you put your gown on backwards and went "visiting": $400 2> Donation to the Fund to Rehire Mandy Patinkin: $3000 and Topfive.com's Number 1 Hidden Hospital Bill Charge... 1> Lost forceps: $35.00 Knowing where the surgeon left the forceps: Priceless -<>- A blonde parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory's incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: "TURN THE PART OVER." -<>- A young blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "Peel and Win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she's peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch." But she keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" Finally the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!" She says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads... (You're gonna love this) ( Scroll down) (One more time) "W I N A B A G E L " -<>- A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The funeral director," said his wife. ================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >From TheMouth: CRAZY FADS http://www.crazyfads.com/ SNACK FOOD CHINESE ZODIAC http://www.toadalamode.com/zodiac.html -<>- >From Linky&Dinky: KALEIDOSCOPE ME BABY (Drag the shapes into the beacon) http://www.zefrank.com/byokal/kal2.html HERE's THE BEST "BEST OF 2008" COLLECTION you'll ever review in 2009. http://www.fimoculous.com/year-review-2008.cfm WHAT IF ALL the TOP SONGS of 2008 were mashed up? I think it might go a little something like this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLaZ-8IMtt0 -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Love Is The Answer http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/LM.html POWER IN THE BLOOD/MARLENE http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML3/Power-In-The-Blood.html Love Is Like A Rose http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol28.html BROTHER BOB'S Poems Of The Week URL: http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html carolyn w/ There's Always Me~Elvis http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/theresalwaysme.html Value Of Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/value.html Pine http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010309.htm plane crash http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010310.htm Redneck Women http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010311.htm Riding http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010312.htm Glock with Drum Mag http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfrtg.htm Goal http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghytr.htm Good Ole Boys http://www.buffaloschips.com/gmkji.htm Good Job http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes And Thunkers: "On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks." --H. Allen Smith "This has all the earmarks of an eyesore." --James McSheehy, member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, commenting on a construction project he opposed. "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey "A new study says that it actually takes men longer to shop on the internet then it does for them to shop in an actual store. Well of course! There's no naked women at the stores." --Jay Leno "You know the Yule log they show on TV every year. You know, the log in the fireplace burning. Now one of the cable net- works is now showing the Yule log in HDTV. This way you can see with absolute clarity that you have no life." --Jay Leno Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? --Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!' --Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" "The hunting season in New York has begun. I love hunting season. And what is more American than accidentally shooting your drinking buddy?" --Dave Letterman "Boeing announced today that it is postponing delivery of its new 787 Dreamliner plane until 2010. This means that for the first time ever, the luggage will arrive at the same time as the plane." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************