Blunders, Blondes, And Pilots! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) These two smoking sizzlers are from our friends Linda, Karen, Geniann and Bunni. They are sure to give you an overflowing ration of Awww for the day! Be sure to give them plenty of time to load... ..-"""--. .' '. .'_ _ \ _..-' 0) 0) ,;;,'. .' /,;;;;; \ / ___ / ,;;;;; | ; (;;;) , ,| ;;;;;; | ; `"` ,_ .'(.-')| ;;;;;; / \ \ ` ( \';;;'.' '._;--' _ _ '-./`--` '-, _ _ ) (`-/ \/ |_--; ;- \ ) \ \.' .-' | / | / \ /'._.'\ .-""-./`'---;-""-. | / \ / \ | | | | ||__.-`) | | | |/__.-' | |_.| |' jgs \ / \ / '----' '----' Animal Friends 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends4.html Animal Friends 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends5.html --- ...These are so adorable! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ___________________________ / _________________________ \ |/----, \| British Journalistic Blunders ||NEWS| || ||----' .-""-. || || / \ \ || "Julian Dicks (West Ham United) || | /`-._| || is everywhere. It's like they've || |/ . . | || got eleven Dicks on the field." || ( _\ ) || (Metro Radio Sports Commentary) || |\ = | || || /\ \_._/ || Listener: "My most embarrassing || /\_\___//\ || moment was when my artificial leg || /` \ \| `\ || fell off at the altar on my |\____/_____|__;_____|__BBC/| wedding day." Simon Fanshawe: \___________________________/ "How awful! Do you still have an |:::::::::::::::::::| artificial leg?" (Talk Radio) |:::::::::::::::::::| |::():():::::():()::| Interviewer: "So did you see which |:::::::::::::::::::| train crashed into which train __|jgs::::::::::::::::|__ first?" 15-year-old: "No, they / \ both ran into each other at the '===========================' same time." (BBC Radio 4) Presenter (to paleontologist):"So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?" Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half- mammoth. Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?" Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." (GLR) Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to _.-~"~-. get pregnant?" ;`a) ) `\ Girl: "No. It was a c***-up." \-./_ / |~=-=--. `-._)_ | / ". Grand National winning jockey _ //` `| `"~` \ Mick Fitzgerald: "S** is an \'-'/ .--' / / |\ anti-climax after that!" `~` / ____/\ | / `" Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave __/__/ | |`-...-\ | the horse a wonderful ride, / \ | | |`\ | everyone saw that." (BBC) jgs |_____| /__| /__/__| Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?" Expert: "Er, yes." (Channel 4 News) "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other." (John Sleightholme - BBC1) "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." (Jimmy Hill - BBC) "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3) ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ September 22 is Elephant Appreciation Day September 23 is Checkers Day and Dog in Politics Day September 24 is National Cherries Jubilee Day September 25 is National Comic Book Day September 26 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Native American Day September 27 is Crush a Can Day and International Rabbit Day September 28 is National Good Neighbor Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .o. | | _ , .', L.-'` `\ || __\___,|__--,__`_|__ | % `=` | | ___%_______________| | ` | | -------------------| |____________________| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| jgs | ---------------| , \| | _______________| / / \. \,\\|, . . /, / |///, /\ >Explanation of Instructions What it says: "Batteries not included" What it means: "Batteries do not come with this product, and you're going to have to buy them yourself. Moreover, it uses unique batteries that you won't find anywhere but a specialty store, where you'll pay twice as much for them." What it says: "Some restrictions apply" What it means: "Somehow, some way, we'll find a way to exclude you." What it says: "May cause drowsiness" What it means: "Expect a sudden bout with narcolepsy while you're driving to work." What it says: "Some assembly required" What it means: "Take the day off and borrow your neighbor's 2,000-piece tool kit. Don't make any other plans for the day." -<>- >Motorcyclist On the weekend of the biggest motorcycle gathering of the year, I was working at a club nearby. When the roaring machines pulled up outside, our patrons' eyes swung toward the door and conversation turned into uneasy whispering. A group of tough-looking bikers walked up to me, and one of them asked me where the phone was. I pointed it out, and the silence in the room let everybody overhear what the biker said into the receiver. "Hi, Mom. Just want to let you know I'll be home late tonight." -<>- >Naval Entertainment My son, a Naval Officer, came home from a three-month deployment aboard his submarine, and told us that one of the ways the sailors kept up morale was to make wooden cars out of kits and run derby races. "What do you do for a ramp?'" my husband inquired. "Don't need one," he said. "We just put the cars on the floor and then tilt the sub." -<>- >Romantic Text A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." He replied, "I am in the bathroom. Please advise." -<>- >Special Diet Nurse to patient: "Are you on any special diets?" "Yes, I drink Slim-Fast twice a day, but it's not working. In fact, I've gained several pounds." "Really? Do you think that skipping meals to drink a shake makes you so hungry that you overeat later?" "What do you mean, 'skipping meals'?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .-""',.-"""-. ,_ .'.--. /_.---. `-.__., '\`'-' _ /___ `-._.-/ '-..-'_'` _ `'-._ _.; .' /_ _ \` \ / /(_9 (_9 . | \ ; _/ ( \`-' / `(_\ .===,` '.___.' '. `""` _(_) '-. .-'` .====="""| |""======, '. | | .' jgs `-. |_.-' .-' `-. ` _.-' '-.-' >Questions... ...Old Lady Questions... Who said that old ladies don't have poignant and deeply relevant questions to ask? Believe us, they've been around, and they know exactly which infuriating and hilarious questions to ask! Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one out of five enjoys it? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ? Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?' What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive? If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The ' and 'IRS' together, it spells 'THEIRS'? -<>- _...._ .' '. / __ \ | .' \ / \ | /.' \ | ;.\ _ \_><_\ | `-._ _...__ | -"`` ``"-, |, _. ) / /``"'---"`|-' / | .-' '-; | \ 6_) 6_)\ \ '. ) \ '. ,---' _.--.` / '-.._\- `""`.' `'-. .--' .=========| |=========, '. | | .' jgs `-._ `-._| .-' `-._ `_.-' '-.-' ...I have some important questions to ask, and I'd really like an answer if you've got one, because they have been haunting me all my life. For example... How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway... Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. --- ...LOL! Age Old Why's! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- o_ _ =\.= | \ ='\____/__/....,_ | .' _-; |/;-._ -_,' / \ ``"""` ( | | ^ ^ \ /`'` o _ o \ \_, ' ' | ;. /.__.' / .`._`'._____.'-. /`.| `-,.____.-;\ / | | | \ \ jgs | | '------' | | \ \ | / >Words of wisdom from children... 1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9 5. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11 6. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14 7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9 8. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9 9. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9 10. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11 11. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. -Naomi, 15 12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9 13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10 14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13 15. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8 --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- ,--.,-"";-"-. .-;-/ / / .- `\ .-. ` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \ \ / \ / (. C . ) | .-. | | _ / (` / | \ /}| | )(\ | `-> (____.| / ||| / \=====| | |\| | |====| \ _/ ` \__/=====| |` `-'======| \ |=======/ | |=======| | .--, ########\ |/ / jgs |_|__|| ` `--. ,---;-'--'\ `--. `---`-------'-.___,___.---' >Children's Notes to God Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (I am not going to tell you who I am). Dear God, I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? Dear God: Did you really mean Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You, because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother. Dear God, My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Dear God, It's o.k. that you made different religions but don't you get mixed up sometimes? Dear God, In bible times did they really talk that fancy? Dear God, My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. Dear God, Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through business? Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on Vacation? Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said you did it. So I bet he stole your Idea. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. --- ...So cute! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) .----. _.'__ `. .--(#)(##)---/#\ .' @ /###\ : , ##### `-..__.-' _.-\###/ jgs `;_: `"' .'"""""`. /, JOE ,\ // COOL! \\ `-._______.-' ___`. | .'___ (______|______) >Southern Engineering Examination [I, for one, am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and I challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take this exam] 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser’s will be drunk before all the trees are cut down? 5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed? 6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? 7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer? I betcha thought that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if y'all didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya there's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life. --- ...Oh My! TeeHee! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- __...._ .'` .-`. / //``\\____ / .-. .'\\_.'/ `'. | / \ /'-'` \ | \ / | ;) \ '-' | .' '-.,_ | __..-' _'=,_______'-,\__.-' .=[_______.-'(___( _ -"` / __|__/ )_ / .--. ) / / -\-.-' / \ | ~; ;-' _| | jgs ___.| ` | `'---'`---------' >The Blonde Pilot This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. The pilot has a heart attack and becomes unconscious and dies... She, frantic, grabs the mic and calls out on the radio “May Day! May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot has had a heart attack and has died. And I don’t know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!” She hears a voice over the radio saying: “This is Air Traffic Control and I hear you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground safely. I’m an experienced controller trained to handle this kind of situation. Now, just relax and take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Just give me your height and position.” She says, “I’m 5’4? and I support Obama.” “O.K.” says the voice on the radio, “Repeat after me: Our Father who art in Heaven...” --- ...Oh for goodness sake! LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Victor :) ,-~~-.___. / ()=(() \ ( ( 0 \._\, ,----' CURSE ##XXXxxxxxxx / ---'~; YOU / /~|- =( ~~ | RED /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ /_______________________\ BARON! /_________________________\ /___________________________\ |____________________| |____________________| |____________________| W< | | During the 3-1/2 years of World War 2 that started with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in December 1941 and ended with the Surrender of Germany and Japan in 1945, the U.S. produced 22 aircraft carriers, 8 battleships, 48 cruisers, 349 destroyers, 420 destroyer escorts, 203 submarines, 34 million tons of merchant ships, 100,000 fighter aircraft, 98,000 bombers, 24,000 transport aircraft, 58,000 training aircraft, 93,000 tanks, 257,000 artillery pieces, 105,000 mortars, 3,000,000 machine guns, and 2,500,000 military trucks. We put 16.1 million men in uniform in the various armed services, invaded Africa, invaded Sicily and Italy, won the battle for the Atlantic, planned and executed D-Day, marched across the Pacific and Europe, developed the atomic bomb and ultimately conquered Japan and Germany. It's worth noting, that during the almost exact amount of time, the Obama Administration couldn't build a functioning web site. [for his signature health care program] --- ...LOL! Thanks Victor! I found this here too http://tinyurl.com/kbub98y ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: A car full of teenagers crashed in Idaho after authorities say one of the passengers lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter. All five young people in the Ford Bronco were hurt in the crash and had to receive medical treatment. Authorities say two of the passengers were thrown from the vehicle, but none of the five suffered life-threatening injuries. The Ada County Sheriff's Office says the rollover occurred after a 16-year-old boy was goofing off in the front seat and lit 18-year-old Tristian Myers' armpit hair on fire while Myers was driving. Deputies cited Myers with inattentive driving, while the 16-year-old was cited for interfering with the driver's safety. *-- Drug-filled football toss at prison 'immature' --* JACKSON, Mich. (UPI) - A Michigan man who admitted throwing a drug-filled football over a prison fence was "immature" was sentenced to prison. Christen Deon-Sterling Moore, 22, apologized in Jackson County Circuit Judge Susan Beebe's courtroom Wednesday for throwing a football containing marijuana, suspected heroin and three cell phones over a fence at the G. Robert Cotton Correctional Facility in June of this year. Authorities said Moore's package failed to reach prisoners, as it only made it over one of the facility's two fences. Moore, who was under probation at the time of the offense for a 2012 home invasion charge, told the court it was "a thoughtless and immature decision" to attempt to throw the contraband-filled football into the facility. Moore was sentenced to 17 to 60 months in prison for two counts of furnishing contraband to a prisoner. *-- Homeless lothario seduces to beat the streets --* NEW YORK (UPI) - A New York homeless man said he avoids having to sleep on the pavement by getting women to take him home with them. Joe, 26, a Boston native who said his mother threw him out when she found his drug stash, said he can make up to $150 panhandling on the streets of Manhattan in a given day, but he spends most of his money on keeping up his appearances -- as well as on drugs and booze. Joe said he goes home with women three to four nights a week. "I do homelessness a little differently," Joe told Elite Daily. "I might sleep on cardboard two or three nights a week, but I literally wake up every single day and do whatever the [expletive] I want." He said there's no real secret to his seduction technique. "It's not like I forgot how to get (women) just because I became homeless," he said. *-- Panties surgically removed from dog's stomach --* ROTHERHAM, England (UPI) - A British dog who had a pair of panties surgically removed from his stomach failed to learn his lesson and is still snacking on thongs, his owner said. Kaye Banks of Rotherham, England, said Brian, a 4-year-old Samoyed, is notorious in her home for stealing her underwear and those of her daughter, Charlotte, and he is especially fond of black and bright pink thongs made of silk and lace. Banks said Brian was previously able to pass underwear on his own without incident, but he recently underwent a two-hour emergency operation at Abbey Vets in Barnsley when a pair of pilfered panties clogged his intestines. Banks said Brian returned from his four-day stay at the veterinary hospital and almost immediately consumed another thong. Veterinarians were able to make Brian regurgitate the most recent pair of unmentionables without surgery, Banks said. "We just couldn't believe that after an operation and four days at the vets he comes home and does it again. From now on all underwear is put straight into the washing machine. He's a lovely dog but he's into everything," Banks told the Belfast Telegraph. Veterinarian Tony Duffy of Abbey Vets said Brian is a remarkable canine. "It never fails to amaze me what dogs will swallow, but swallowing three thongs in such a short space of time must beat them all," Duffy said. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ,-~~-.___. / | ' \ I was on cloud nine yesterday.... ( ) 0 \_/-, ,----' ==== // / \-'~; /~~~(O) / __/~| / | =( _____| (_________| W< >Origins of some of our strange customs. Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? BECAUSE: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since. 2. Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help? BECAUSE: This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' - and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.' 3. Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'? BECAUSE: In France, where tennis became popular, the round zero on the s coreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'the egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans (naturally), mispronounced it 'love.' 4. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses? BECAUSE: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous. 5. Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'? BECAUSE: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player. 6. Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast? BECAUSE: In earlier times it used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own 7. Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'? BECAUSE: Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the centre of attention. 8. Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'? BECAUSE: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares. 9. In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from? BECAUSE: When Mary, Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.' He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day' and the Scots changed it into caddie. 10. Why are many coin collection jar banks shaped like pigs? BECAUSE: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on. And now you know the origins of some of our strange customs! ... --- ...TeeHee! They make perfect sense! Thanks Linda! Not sure if all of them were true, but these on this page are... Word/Phrase Origins! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ,___. |-----| ============ / | OO ~\ ( ) 0 ) \_/-, ,-//-\\ ==== ||| | || -_/| | ||_ (____)) W< One night young Buffy brought her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance; leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Buffy," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the blonde daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?" -<>- My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe' in Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare. The waitress gave us a stare and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day." -<>- ______ _\ _~-\___ = = ==(____AA____D \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._ / o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_ `~-.__ ___..----.. ) `---~~\___________/------------````` = ===(_________D -Roland A flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger hopelessly overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversized luggage. "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I never have this problem." She smiled and said, "Sir, when you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either." -<>- It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" -<>- At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away?" -<>- A__A //..\\ ////@\\\ ____ ////U\\\ //.\\\ ////\\\////@\\\ //////\\\\\\U/// /////\\\\////\\\ unknwon A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else are you gonna name watch dogs?" ========================================================= >-->From The MouthPiece: _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon >Funny Bumper Stickers for Women * IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN. * DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN. * GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. * PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG. * COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN: SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH. * HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY? * AND YOUR POINT IS...? * WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. * OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. * DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN. * YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP * MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. * I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. * SORRY IF I LOOK INTERESTED. I'M NOT -<>- >In-Flight Humor | BOEING 777 | by Jon Hyatt | whatfer@u.washington.edu .-'-. ' ___ ' ---------' .-. '--------- _________________________' '-' '_________________________ ''''''-|---|--/ \==][^',_m_,'^][==/ \--|---|-'''''' \ / ||/ H \|| \ / '--' OO O|O OO '--' Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada. We'd like to thank you for flying Southwest Airlines, and on behalf of the flight deck we'd also like to extend a very special and very happy 101st Birthday to a gentleman seated near the front of the aircraft." "So... if you happen to see the Captain on the way out, mind his walker, shake his hand, and wish him well with another 100 years working here at Southwest Airlines." "Please use caution when opening the overhead compartments as shift happens!" "From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, s o I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!" >From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more." "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines." "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walk- ing with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?" Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Amazing Trivia Facts http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/triviafacts.html Kilroy Was Here http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html Notes To God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cnotes.html Value What You Have http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/valuewyh.html Chapel With Bone Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chapel.html Extreme Pumpkin Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Watermelon Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/watermelon2.html Animals In Fall http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/animalsinfall.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) At the end of Ramadan month thousands cram into ferries and overloaded trains, leaving Dhaka to return to their villages. This is Bangladesh during a very serious rush hour, like nothing I've ever seen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ySSrG7HgvIQ If you've never seen BBC's Walk On the Wild Side, or if you've just missed these hilarious segments, here's a treat for you. What would animals sound like if they were able to talk just us? Well, they probably wouldn't sound like this, but I wish they did, because it would be utterly hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Kg1gK2E7dAQ --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) fungi http://tinyurl.com/mb9yj6e --- ...Pretty Interesting! Thaks Wesley! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new report shows that Brooklyn is now one of the country's most popular baby names. Still the least popular baby name: 'Staten Island.'" -Seth Meyers "I did some historical research today. Adolf Hitler, it turns out, was delinquent in his income taxes. He owed over $3 million in taxes. Boy, you think you know somebody." -Dave Letterman "Yesterday Starbucks introduced their new decaf soda called Fizzio. It's an Italian word that means 'tastes OK, costs too much.'" -Conan O'Brien "In the name of my most royal majesty I knight thee...arise, Sir Loin of Beef. Arise, Earl of Cloves. Arise, Duke of Britingham. Arise, Baron of Munchausen. Arise, Essence of Myrrh...Milk of Magnesia...Quarter of Ten..." --Buggs Bunny "I bet you know my friends like Duke of Ellington, Count of Basie, Earl of Hines, Cab of Calloway, Satchmo of Armstrong?" --Buggs Bunny "Okay, Okay, I'm shuttin' up. Why should I continue to keep yappin' when I'm told to shut up. I'm not the kind that don't know when to stop." --You know who "A man in Virginia Beach has started protesting road conditions while dressed as Spider-Man on his days off. Something tells me he has a lot of days off." -Seth Meyers "According to a new study, the number of car crashes linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed they were all going eight miles per hour." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************