Can Ya Throw Me That Stick... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ <> .-"""-. ||::::::========== /= \ ||::::::========== |- /~~~\ | ||::::::========== |=( '.' ) | ||================ \__\_=_/__/ ||================ {_______} ||================ /` * `'--._|| /= . [] . { > / /|ooo |`'--'|| ( )\_______/ || \``\/ \ || `-| == \_| || / | || |= >\ __/ || \ \ |- --| || \ __| \___/ || jgs _{__} _{__} || ( )( ) || ^^~ `""" `""" ~^^^~^^~~~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^~^ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This one is too hot to handle! It comes from my daughter Tammy and is simply stunning. You have to see this one to believe it! Be sure to watch the video too! \ ,'|`-. / \,' _|_ ',' /'.' | `,' \ -._/_/_'.|,'_\__\_,- | | ,-*." | | ___|,+' /|\`.| | \ \/ | \/`. |___ \ /`.|,'\ / Y. | \/ | `.|_,' | | __ | __\|,- ,-`=--. Ool /=8\ World's Largest Web! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/web.html Our Next hot tottie is from 3 of our friends! PatDeE, Del, And Linda all sent this amazing one to me. It goes along with my own pet peeve - we explore space yet haven't even explored our own waters! An absolute Cool video must see here too! ,,,,,,,, ,|||````|||| ,,,,||||| ||, ,||||``````` `|| ,|||` |||, ||` ...., `||| || :::::::: |||, || :::::::' || ``|||, ||, :::::' `||| `||, ||| `|||, || || ,|| `|| |||` || ,,,|||| || ,||||||``` ,|| ,,|||||` ,||` || |||` |||` || ,|| || ||` || |||, ||| `|||,, ,||| ``||||||||` unknown Ocean Exploration! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ocean.html --- ...Such a creepy awesome one! Thanks Guys and Gal! :) ================================================================ >-->From TheFunnyBone: _ -=\`\ The Cautious Pilot... |\ ____\_\__ -=\c`""""""" "`) Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly jgs `~~~~~/ /~~` stopped, turned around and returned to the -==/ / gate. After an hour long wait, it finally '-' took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained. "So it took an hour to fix the problem?" she asked. "No," he replied, "It took us an hour to find a new pilot." =================================================================== +------------ Even More Bizarre May Holidays -------------+ May 21 is National Memo Day and National Waitresses/Waiters Day May 22 is Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day May 23 is Penny Day May 24 is National Escargot Day May 25 is National Tap Dance Day May 26 is Grey Day May 27 is Body Painting Arts Festival May 28 is National Hamburger Day May 29 is End Of The Middle Ages Day May 30 is My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day May 31 is National Macaroon Day ============================================================= >-->From ArcaMaxJokes: / , /\ \|/ /\ |\\_;=._//| \." "./ //^\ /^\\ .'``",/ |0| |0| \,"``'. / , `'\.---./'` , \ /` /`\,."( )".,/`\ `\ /` ( '.'-.-'.' ) `\ /"` "._ : _." `"\ `/.'`"=.,_``=``_,.="`'.\` jgs ) ( >Getting Older A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments: "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive!" -<>- >Obituary Janie had just become a widow and needed to put an obituary in the paper about her late husband, Bubba. She called the newspaper and asked, "How much does it cost to put an obituary in the paper?" "The cost is $0.50 per word," said the newspaper editor. Janie said, "Fine, please print: 'Bubba died'." The startled newspaper editor explained that there was a seven word minimum charge. Janie thought for a moment, then said, "Okay, then, please print: 'Bubba died. 2003 pickup truck for sale'." -<>- \_, _ _ \.= \\ /,~,"\ // _ __ !!!,,, _ _ ___ \\ /|o_o|( // /.-. | !!'''!!! .'_"_'. ;---,\ :\)\'=/ /'/ ||o_o|| !!!a,a!!! /|o_o|| )o,o)| \(-._.-\' |,\= || !!.=.|!! | \='/| _| =/ \_ '\ Y / .--' '-. (^( .-' '-. \~} / /'_/(-._ ( J\ \/| ) | : | / .--Y-.\\ \\/ .-,-. \// \|( |/ '.\ \\==== // _/ : (_ ( /\ -/ / \_/\----|\/ ) \_' \\ \\==// \ \'.__.'/ \\| \8" \ , ( ) \;= snd || || / |'-,-'| 9/ ) )---\ |____|\) /|/ /)| \ | / /_____/ / | ) \_||_/ | | | | | / ) ) / \ ( / \ | | )| ) | | | | |/\/ // \| | / \ \ |/ |/ |-| |-| /|/| |/ |\ |__| \__| _/ |/ | '-' '-' [_[_/ /| '=' /:( ):\ (_,(__,] '= '-' '-' "Sporty" "Ginger" "Posh" "Scary" "Baby" >The Philosophy of Life Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever. Life not only begins at forty; it begins to show. You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips. Age is important only if you are cheese and wine. The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but he/she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. -<>- >Grandfather's Advice My Grandfather was one of the wisest men I ever knew. I still remember his only advice to me concerning women. "Norman," he said, "Trust me on this one, even if you do eventually understand women, you'll never believe it anyway." -<>- (( "####@@!!$$ )) `#####@@!$$` )) (( '####@!!$: (( ,####@!!$: )) .###@!!$: `##@@!$: `#@!!$ !@# `#@!$: @#$ #$ `#@!$: !@! '@!$: '`\ "!$: /`' '\ '!: /' "\ : /" -."-/\\\-."//.-"/:`\."-.JrS"."-=_\\ " -."-.\\"-."//.-".`-."_\\-.".-\".-// >Tornado Drill Friday, we had a tornado drill. Our department is situated underneath a parking garage (funny how corporations just love putting the nerds in a basement), and there's a PA announcement repeating itself ad nauseum: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt." -<>- >Internet Addiction Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However, researchers go on to say that the internet is actually much more dangerous than these addictive substances, since it is a terminal addiction. -<>- , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. >Police Pick Up One early evening, a police car pulled up in front of grandma Marge's house, and grandpa Stanley gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the neighborhood park and couldn't find his way home. "Oh Stanley", said grandma Marge. "You've been going to that park for over thirty years! How could you get lost?" Leaning close to his wife, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa Stanley whispered, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home." -<>- >Forgotten Son A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must have forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!" =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ >Hi Lord, It's me again, Hi Lord, it’s me, things are getting bad here, gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating cost too high. I know some have taken you out of our schools, government & even Christmas. But Lord I'm asking you to come back and re-bless America, we really need you. Thanks Lord, I love you! The Lord says when 2 or more are gathered in My Name, there I will be also!!! Let's see how far this goes.. Please pass this on.. Please God.. please Bless America again.. in Jesus Christ's name. Amen. --- ...Yes. America needs to learn and remember from our mistakes and vote the moral vote this next time around. Thanks Linda! -<>- _._ .' `. | | "=======" $ ^ ^ $ ` # ' `._.' _.'< ' >'-._ .' \ / ' / v \ / . .: . | . `' .: ` ' : ` :. `. : :. ` / \ : : < ) / \ : : : ` `*=---=* . / : ) | ' ` ) \` `.' :; | ( `\-. \( / |. \ ) ) ` ( `-' _Y- `'\' \ | )\ ) : ) \ : . \ ` | \ ` , ( : . :' \ \ ` | . \ : | ' ) \ \ : ) .' mb \ .' | | ( a:f \ (__| (__) \ .__.--..' ; | `-..--.--, \ +._____.-=__] [__.--===::-' >104 YEAR OLD FILM CLIP No traffic signals 104 YEAR OLD FILM CLIP- filmed only four days before the Great California Earthquake of April 18th 1906 "You are there for a cable car ride in San Francisco . " This film was "lost" for many years. It was the first 35mm film ever that has come to light. It was taken by camera mounted on the front of a cable car as it`s travelling down the street. You feel as if your really there, standing at the front looking down the street, amazing piece of historic film. The number of automobiles is staggering for 1906. Absolutely amazing! The clock tower at the end of Market Street at the Embarcadero wharf is still there. How many "street cleaning" people were employed to pick up after the horses? Talk about going green! Great historical film! http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=NINOxRxze9k --- ...Fun to watch! amazed no accidents! Thanks Linda! -<>- >This is neat Street air-art! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH6xCT2aTSo --- ...Awesome! I love this! Thanks Linda! -<>- _.. /}_{\ /.-' ( a a )-.___...-'/ ==._.== ; \ i _..._ /, {_;/ {_// fsc A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART! Why WAL-MART?? HELLOOOOOOOOO! WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!! --- ...HaHa! A great Classic! Thanks Linda! -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >Senior Road Trip While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card." This coming week is... NATIONAL SENIOR MENTAL HEALTH WEEK You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one... Unstable Senior to show you care. My job is done.... --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Linda! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) . . . ' s \ ' . . . : , a ` c - i . b \ _ ' . i o O . - }{' o . . O - . ` ` \ ,.--------------------------,, |%`````````````````````````` | |%. | |%% _ _ | +%%.( ) ( ) .+',gg. ``-f t--------------f tgi$b.d%%%,. `-{___} `-{___}%%%%%%%%%%) ,gg. (%%%%%%%%%%; (%%%%g. `"?%%%%?' ,gg$f )%%%%%) ko1. """" Krzysztof Biolik >Bathtub Test During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would just pull the plug. Do you want a bed near a window?" ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON - OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? --- ...HaHa! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- %%%% %%%%-( _%%%%%_/ \ ' / _%%%%%%%% - (_) - _%%%%%%%/ \% / , \ %%%%%%%%%\\ \_ %%%%%% \ \\ ) /\_/ /(___. \ '----' ( / ) ---....____/ (_____ __ _ ___ ___ __ _ _ _____ _ _ ___ / )---...___ =-= = -_= -=_= _-=_-_ -=- =-_ ,' ( ```--.._= -_= -_= _-=- -_= _=- ,-' ) ``--._=-_ =-=_-= _-= _ '-._ '-..___( ``-._=_-=_- =_-= ``---....__) `-._-=_-_=- )|)| `-._=-_ gnv '-'-.\_ `-. >Sand And Stone TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE ". THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?" THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM. SEND THIS PHRASE TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET. I JUST DID. IF YOU DON'T SEND IT TO ANYONE, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS. TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE ! AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK, THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE. --- ...A great Classic! Thank Jo Ann! -<>- _ / ) |||| / / ||||/ / \__(_/ ||// ||/ || (|| hjw "" >Woman and a Fork There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.. 'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply. 'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. 'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come.' The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel , indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have,and the memories you share ....Being friends with someone is not an opportunity, but a sweet responsibility. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND...and I'll bet this will be an Email they do remember, every time they pick up a fork.! And just remember...keep your fork! And have a great day! --- ...Another Great Classic! Thanks Jo Ann! I won't need the fork though, I want to be cremated. I figure God will have to start from scratch and give me a totally new body that way! ;) ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) _____ .-" .-. "-. _/ '=(0.0)=' \_ /` .='|m|'=. `\ \________________ / .--.__///`'-,__~\\\\~` / /6|__\// a (__)-\\\\ \ \/--`(( ._\ ,))) / \\ ))\ -==- (O)( / )\((((\ . /))))) / _.' / __(`~~~~`)__ //"\\,-'-"` `~~~~\\~~`"-. // /`" ` `\ // jgs >CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad. The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally. The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!" The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz." *THE MORAL OF THE STORY:* Someone may come along and promise "*/Change/*", but don't count on things smelling any better. --- ...HaHa! Now if everyone will just REMEMBER That! Thanks Sandi! ================================================================ >-->IN The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Patriot News: Parents Outraged Over Schools 'Secret' Abortions http://tinyurl.com/42nexk7 >From Vision To America Treasury to Tap Pensions to Help Fund Government http://tinyurl.com/3trso7g >From Newsmax: Gingrich Backs Obamacare Mandate for Health Insurance Former House Speaker and presidential candidate Newt Gingrich told "Meet the Press" Sunday that he backs a requirement that every citizen purchase or acquire health insurance, a key component of President Obama's health care law. Gingrich described his plan as a "variation" of Obama's individual mandate. Gingrich's position undermines the key legal challenge made by 26 states against Obamacare and his comments have drawn a sharp reaction from conservatives. http://tinyurl.com/444y8e3 Get the US Navy SEALs Cap for Summer, Just Pay Shipping http://tinyurl.com/4xselx3 -<>- >From BizarreNews: It is actually nice to know that this won't work, even in Kentucky, although it took a Kentuckian to try it. It seems a 32-year-old man was arrested last weekend after trying to coerce a woman into his car by pretending he was a police officer. But not just any kind of police officer. Mike Myers is accused of trying to convince a woman to get in his Crown Victoria by allegedly telling her that he would give her a ride home because she had had too much to drink, according to the arrest report. Two firefighters noticed the woman and Myers and asked Myers if he was an officer, to which Myers allegedly said yes and gave a badge number but not his name. Eventually, the fire- fighters called the police, suspecting that Myers was not an officer. The report says that Myers consented to a search of his car, and that is when police found a silver badge that read 'Official Boob Inspector, Department of Titillation.' The arresting officer noted in the report that the badge did look official on first glance. The woman told police that Myers did threaten her with jail if she didn't go with him...and a citation for improperly secured twins. -- Man appears at beach after 3 days on raft --- WANTAGH, N.Y. - New York park police said a wetsuit-clad man who showed up at a beach after spending three days on a raft was arrested for criminal possession of a weapon. Gary Smith of Wantagh said he was at Jones Beach State Park at about 6:15 a.m. Tuesday when he spotted Pablo Perez, 47, wandering near the boardwalk, the New York Post reported Wednesday. "He was easily 6-3 and over 300 pounds," Smith said. "I asked him where he came from, and he said he'd been out on a raft for the last three days. He told me he was fishing and that his raft was tied to another boat and became detached and he drifted out to sea." Police said they cut a .25-caliber semiautomatic, which was loaded and unlicensed, out of Perez's wetsuit. He was arrested for criminal possession of a weapon and taken to a hospital to receive treatment for dehydration and exhaustion. Investigators found a 9-foot raft nearby where Perez was first spotted, police said. State Park Police Chief Richard O'Donnell said officers are still investigating the "very unusual incident." -- NYC speed warnings will get ghoulish --- NEW YORK - New York City is resorting to images of skeletons to scare drivers into obeying its 30 mph speed limit. The city Transportation Department announced Thursday it will put up speed boards -- the radar-equipped signs that tell drivers their speed -- this summer that will flash LED skeletons when they spot cars going over the limit, The New York Times reported. The skeleton is a bony incarnation of the pedestrian stick figure that flashes on crosswalk lights. A "That's Why It's 30" campaign on bus shelter ads and television spots already uses skeletons to warn that speeding endangers pedestrians. Mayor Michael Bloomberg likened the signs to cigarette packs overseas that sport skulls and crossbones to warn of cancer. "Unless you make it graphic, people don't get the message," he said. -<>- >From Archived CoffeeBreak: Alligator invades Fla. home An Oldsmar, Fla., woman said an 8-foot alligator ripped through her screened porch and wandered into her home. Sandra Frosti, 69, said she went to investigate a strange noise in her home and found the reptile on her kitchen floor, the Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Tuesday. Frosti called 911 and authorities said the alligator was mildly injured during the ensuing scuffle with a trapper. Pinellas County sheriff's deputies said the gator tore through the screen porch, entered through an open sliding door and wandered through the house and into the kitchen before it was spotted by Frosti. Neighbors said alligators are a common sight in the area. They said the reptiles are drawn in by retention ponds in the neighborhood. "I've seen them sunning themselves between the pond and the street," said neighbor Emilio Riera. Cool cat coaxed from air conditioning duct A Miami man said firefighters spent about an hour extracting a kitten from the air-conditioning ducts of his home. Marques Bailey said he initially reported a kitten crying loudly in the ducts Saturday, but Broward Sheriff Fire Rescue's suggestion that he attempt to lure the cat out into the open with a saucer of milk failed to yield results, The Miami Herald reported Tuesday. Bailey said he made a second call Monday, and this time three firefighters arrived to rescue the troubled feline. He said the firefighters made several attempts to coax the kitten from its hiding space, including poking at it with a metal rod and calling it audibly, before finally luring the yellow tabby out with a can of tuna. Bailey said he plans to keep the kitten, which emerged from the ducts without any identification. "This cat cost me a lot of money in property damage," he said. "I'm going to name it Trouble." Mail carrier catches falling baby An Albany, N.Y., postal carrier says a baby fell right into her arms from an open window while she was delivering a package. Lisa Harrell said she normally does not deliver to the neighborhood until about 2 p.m., but she was in the area before noon Monday to deliver an Express Mail package, the Albany (N.Y.) Times-Union reported Tuesday. She said that no sooner had she pushed a doorbell at an apartment building than she felt something hit her shoulder and instinctively shot her arms out to catch it. She said she was shocked to find a baby that had apparently fallen from a second-story window. "I noticed the upstairs window open halfway," she said. "The baby fell right into my arms. Everything happened so quick." Paramedics from the Albany Fire Department said the child appeared to be unharmed. Harrell said Brenda Morales, the child's mother, ran outside and thanked her before taking the baby and running up the street to her mother's home. ================================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor. But it was definitely worth it when our beautiful little girl emerged, perfect in every way. Later, in my room, my husband looked at her tenderly, with tears in his eyes. Then as he glanced up at me, I expected him to utter something truly poetic. Instead he asked, "What'd we decide to call her again?" -<>- ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' |\ /| | \ / | |___V___| | / \ | | / \ | |/ \| / \ / \ ______/ \_______ ============================ Alyssa Today I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport. She's getting a little up there. She's at the age where she doesn't remember things too well. So when I saw her I said, "Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!" -<>- I bought a great new toilet seat recently. On the label was a suggestion on how to clean it. Although nice to have the option, I doubt I'll take advantage of it. My toilet seat, it seems, is "Dishwasher Safe." -<>- My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality. The accompanying cutting board, however, was a different story. On the wrapping around it was printed this warning: "Opening with sharp object may damage this product." -<>- Everybody's a comedian. I called my local home improvement store for a simple piece of advice. "I know the Sheetrock is nailed to the studs," I said to the guy who answered the phone, "but how do I find the studs?" "Put an ad in the personals column." he suggested. -<>- _____ / _))) / / 6 6 ( ( \ / ,' __= / _ ) /_ ) ( /\__~__|( /\/__)__) ) ( /\ (_ \| \__'/ \ :o / \ /\ _/ ) \/ | | | | | ) | /| ) / |________| | / \ | |/ ____\!_______ / )\ /( '-.\_ .. b'ger /,/ .. . A blonde is on board a small two- seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams. Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First, I need you to give me your height and position." "I'm 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!" ============================================================== >-->From the MouthPiece: .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ >Can I Get You A Drink? A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7" -<>- [A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.] 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. "Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!" 5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married." 7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" 8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...." 9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!" 11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?" =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE: .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .#######. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .#. .#### . . . ####. . .###############. . . .. . ########. ##. ##. . . ######################### . . . .. . . ##########. . . . ######################. . . . . . .. . . .######## . . . . ################### . . . . . . .. . . . ### . . . . .#####. ##############. # . . . . . .. . . . . ##### . . . .#######. ##########. . . . . . . . .. . . . . .###### . . . .#### . . . . .## . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . ##### . . . .#### # . . . . . ##### . . . . . .. . . . . . ### . . . . . ##. . . . . . . . ### .#. . . . .. . . . . . ##. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brice Wellington from Winston Smith As you open your pockets**for the next natural disaster, please keep these facts in mind: **The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was**$651,957**plus expenses **The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits **UNICE FCEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE **Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause** **The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. **96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.** **The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth! No further comment is necessary. Please share this with everyone you can. --- __ .' '. / .-.\ / ( / '-, / / / / / / / _ / / (o) / `,_o__,' o o o o o o o __ o (__) Clyde W. Watson ...Thanks PatDeE. Not sure of these facts. I know one year when we felt generous we gave money to the United Way. We owned a small Pepsi Distributing business that we spent 12-15 hours a day of hard labor trying to eke a living from. This was back when they had glass bottles. I had some pretty good muscles from handling the cases and empties back then and of course, so did Paul! We were not too pleased when the next year they presented us with a 'bill' saying we 'owed' them what we gave last year plus an additional percentage to meet their new quota! We never gave them another penny. It is not the way you should treat people who are working hard for their money and generous enough to give some of it to you! I know O'Reilly likes The Red Cross and he gives a lot to charities. -<>- /) o__^^/_/) \ ' \`-' ___ `| \______/--'` | \ ././-------,.\ BP_mic _ (\ \) o__^\/ , \ ' \ < _ _ ' ' . `| \____\ - - ' . . () | ) _ _ `.' `.' .//---_/-_/ _ _ (\ (\_\^^__o . `-'\ ` / `( | \_____| | | _ ./`,----./~| . . . - () (\ (\_\_^__o ___ `-'/ `_/ '`--\______/ | ' / | ` . ' -`/.------'\^-' >Hey Stranger - can ya throw me that stick? http://tinyurl.com/3q9vzr8 --- ...LOL! Paul and I loved this one, Thanks, PatDeE! Our old dog Frisky was a border collie mix. It is exactly how he would act with his tennis ball. Trying to get a person to play ball with him. He kept many our friends, relatives and customers entertained playing with him! ============================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: _._ .-'66|| ,;' (O ,:|/.----..;' `=' \_ ____ | ||| ||| ||| ||| l42 mm' mm' An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?" -<>- _"_ % (< ? ` " __||___ |\___//_\ (' | ') \\ __|\ , / |/ /: / \ :: \| ######o /| ######## \) ######## \ : / \: / -- %%% %% % /:\ |/|, b'ger Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. -<>- Birds of a feather flock together and then poop on your car. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for It. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. -<>- ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. ;::::::::::::::::::: {::}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{::} {::} ,'`. {::} {:} __ {:} {:} _-~ ~-_ {:} {:} {:} {:.------. .------.:} ,-/| ;<' |=~~=| `>: |\-. | | ( c) | | (c ) | | \ | `' | | `' | / / `------'/ \`------' \ | / \ | | (*_ _*) | \ __-' `' `-__ / | | | ,'~~-~~`. | | (#########) | | \ \#-~~~-#/ / | \ / ` -_ -______- _- ' | | FRM Love is holding hands in the street. Divorce is holding arguments in the street Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. Divorce is Chinese take-out alone. Love is cuddling on a sofa. Divorce is sleeping on a sofa. Love is talking about having children. Divorce is talking about getting your children. Love is losing your appetite. Divorce is losing your figure. Love is a flickering flame. Divorce is a flickering television. Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Divorce is "Don't you think you've had enough bub?!" -<>- A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?" "Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television." "That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime." "What do you mean, nice??" the inmate said. "That's *part* of the punishment!" -<>- A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whiskey in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, ..."Not anymore! He is!" -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >A SCHOOL TEACHER'S DELIGHT...... - These are purported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. SOCIOLOGY Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. BIOLOGY Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What is the Fibula? A : A small lie. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport TECHNOLOGY Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. ============================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Alcohol And Drugs http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/alcoholanddrugs.html Stretching For The Lord! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/stretching.html Bucky And The Beagle http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/visitor.html Medical Health Test http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/medical.html Chalk Art 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart4.html Awesome Tree Houses http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses.html Baby Squirrel Finnegan http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finnegan.html Suryria And Roscoe http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang2.html Up Close And Personal 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal2.html Proud Of Our Troops 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops5.html Military WWII Posters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarywwii.html -<>- >From Our Friend Johanna :) WWII Vet Tribute http://media.causes.com/1060527?p_id=175378540 After watching this trailer, please pass it on... Let's raise awareness of the day and documentary to come in Nov. Thanks --- ...So SWEET! Thank You Johanna! -<>- >From The MouthPiece: The Center for Prevention of Shopping Cart Abuse Visit: http://bit.ly/haiuyE Bubble Breaker Visit: http://bit.ly/gI524Q John Cena - WrestleMania XXVII Watch It Now: http://bit.ly/e76opl TV Shows on DVD Visit: http://bit.ly/i5wz5I -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Good Job http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm Go White Guy http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm Great Escapes http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuio.htm Greatest Movie Line Ever http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjuiop.htm Guide Dog http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkssik.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =========================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Today [2007] marks the first day that United States citizens returning from Mexico need a visa to be able to return. Mexican citizens however are still allowed to just use the big hole in the fence." --Jay Leno "Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because that's really hard. You need to eat. You don't need to do drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. "I'm going cold turkey... mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food... do not think about food... do not... nuts..." --Craig Ferguson "Russia has announced it's holding its annual beauty pageant for nuclear power plant workers. Apparently last year's winner had the most beautiful three eyes they've ever seen." --Conan O'Brien "We do this show from the West Coast, so because of the time differences, while you're at home sitting in front of the TV in your underwear, I too am at home sitting in front of the TV in my underwear. Only I'm watching Conan." --Jimmy Kimmel "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it." - Joan Rivers "Did you hear about the fan violence in Italy at soccer games? The fan violence in Italy at soccer games has gotten so bad, the teams are forced to play in empty stadiums. Empty stadiums! And so now, it's just like United States soccer." --Dave Letterman "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright "Never spend your money before you have it." - Thomas Jefferson "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." - Dean Martin "A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." - Robert Frost Choose your rut carefully; you'll be in it for the next ten miles. -- Road sign in Upstate New York A Classic: It was one of the worst days of my life: The washing machine broke down, the telephone kept ringing, my head ached, and the mail carrier brought a bill I had no money to pay. Almost to the breaking point, I lifted my one-year-old into his high chair, leaned my head against the tray, and began to cry. Without a word, my son took his pacifier out of his mouth and stuck it in mine! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************