>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press! This first hot tottie is from our friend Viv. Animal, animals, and more animals - We just can't get enough of them. So here is a page with a bunch more cuties... , //\ / | ; | /_| .-"` `"-. /` `\ / \ .-.,_| .-""""-. | | `",_,-' (((-. '( \ (`"=._.'/ ( (o>'-`"# , '.`"-'` / `--` '==; /\\ `'--'`\ _.'~~ / | \ `.,___,-} | | | ) { } \ \ (.--==---==-------=' o { } ",/` (_) (_) (_) (_) \ / / () o () () ^| \ () ( () o ; / `\ \ ; / } | ) \ / /` } / ,-' |=,_ | /,_ ,'/ | _,.-`/ `"=\ \\ \ | ."` \ | \ \`\ \ | | \ \ `\ \ `\ \ | | \ \ `\ \ \ \ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ | | ) \ \ \ ) \ jgs `) \ ^ww ) \ ^ww ^ww ^ww Animal Moms! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalmoms.html --- ...So Adorable! Thanks Viv! This second hottie comes from two of our friends Wesley And Viv. It's the ultimate in RV and camping fun. I was so amazed, that I wasted no time in doing this one up so you could see it too! Oh, by the way, all you truckers, this is a 'must see'! Check it out here... __ _,-' \ o_ /\ _\ C| SMA /__\_,-' ,; *x* Extreme Camping! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/camp.html --- ...Absolutely awesome! Thank you Wesley and Viv! ================================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: Exercise Is Good .@@@@@, The room was full of pregnant women and their @@@@@@@@, partners, and the class was in full swing. aa`@@@@@@ The instructor was teaching the women how to (_ ?@@@@ breathe properly, along with informing the men =' @@@@" how to give the necessary assurances at this \(``` stage of the plan. //`\ / | || The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise \ | || is good for you. Walking is especially / | || beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt / |_|\ you to take the time to go walking with your | |_| \ partner.!" \ ((( | `\ | The room really got quiet. |____| | || Finally, a man in the middle of the group | || raised his hand. | || /~)) "Yes?" replied the teacher. jgs /_/YY "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) xl""``""lx X8Xxx..xxX8X X 8X8bdX8bd8X8 X dXb dX8Xbd8XbdX8Xb d8b dX8bdX8Xbd8X8XbdX8b.d8X8b dX8bdX8Xbd8X8X8XbdX8bdX8X8b X X8bdX8Xbd8X8X8X8XbdX8bdX8X8b d8b d8X8X8Xbd8X8X8X8X8XbdX8bdX8X8 d8X8bdX8X8Xbd8X8X8X8X8X8XdbX8bdX8Xb_ d8X8X8X8X8bdX8X8X8X8X8X8X8X8db8Xbd8X8b-. .-d8X8X8X8X8bdX8X8X8X8X8X8X8X8X8db8X8X8-RG-b-. >Curious name places in the USA Paradox, strange as it may seem, is in New York Crapo, unfortunately for them is in Maryland Boogertown, is happily in North Carolina Hellhole, is depressingly to be found in Idaho Purgatory, is sadly in Maine Volcano, an explosive place in Hawaii Needmore, is in the greedy state of Arkansas Hardup, is in the poor [you must be joking} state of Utah Rudeville, surprisingly perhaps is in New Jersey Boring, can be found in Oregon [I wonder if it is?] Hell, is in Michigan [Some other places too, I suspect] Hooker, can be found in California [And other places too] Virgin, is a place in Utah Dulls Corner, is in Maryland [Do they wear pointy hats there?] Bowlegs, is amusingly in Oklahoma Beersville, is a fine town in Pennsylvania Fleatown, is an itchy place in Ohio Burnt Corn, can be seen in Alabama Two Guns, famously in Arizona Toad Suck, is a found in Arkansas A Monkey's Eyebrow, is based in Arizona --- ...Cool! Thanks Wesley! Kissimmee, but don't tell any one, is in Florida ============================================================== >-->From our Friend Sandi :) THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT-- it is POLITICALLY CORRECT! _____ /~/~ ~\ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ \ --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, ''"'',,}{,, unknown While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do Is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you Can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be In heaven," says the Senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St . Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes Down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself In the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse. And standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator."Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil looks at him, smiles and says, |\___/| / \ | /\__/| ||\ <.><.> "Yesterday we were just | _ > ) \ /---- campaigning.. . Today you voted." | -\/ / \ Artist Unknown --- ...HaHa! Yep, sounds oh so familiar! Thanks Sandi! -<>- . __..,,... .,,,,,. '''' ,' ` . ,' ,. .. ` . `.,' .. ` __..,. . .. . ` . . `. .` ` , `. `. `._|,.. . `. `..' ` -'`'' unknown >USMC A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!" "And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us." -<>- .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` >EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS 1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. -Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,San Franccisco 2... At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . .replied the patient. -Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle ,, WA 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.' -Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.. ' Which one ?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch... The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. -Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfollk , VA 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.' -Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvalliss, OR 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?' ' It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. .. . Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.' -Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detrooit 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.' -Submitted by RN no name, 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . ' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .' ' -Dr. wouldn't submit his name.... --- ...LOL! Oh My! Thanks Sandi! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) ____ || | ||___| _)__<__ _ _ |____|__|:|___|:|_ | |_.---._|___| _ | o| | | |_o_| | || |/| |\| | |_||____|`\___/'|___| V _/-\_ fsc >Workplace lingo BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or why a project failed and who was responsible. TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs, as in, "We had three serious students in the class. The rest were just tourists." TREEWARE - Printed computer software/hardware documentation. CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among micro-serfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot, for example, is a serious CLM. CEB (Career Ending Blunder) - A really serious CLM. OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See CLM and CEB) ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. This term is derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the engineer in the job-from-heck comic strip. Example: "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week!" SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, and then leaves. SALMON WEEK - The experience of spending an entire week swimming upstream only to die, and have someone else get the benefit. 404 - A state of cluelessness. Derived from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document could not be located. An example: "Don't bother asking him, he's 404, man!" PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking an electronic device just right to get it to work again. GOOD QUESTION - Any question a member of management cannot answer. -<>- >A Groaner My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain just what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, "Defense Contractor." The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, "So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?" -<>- One night, a wife wakes up in the middle of the night to find her husband in the kitchen, crying at the kitchen table. "What's wrong, honey?" He says, "Remember when we told your father you were pregnant, and he gave me two options: to marry you, or spend ten years in prison?" "Yes, of course, and we've had several wonderful years of marriage since. But what's wrong?" "I would have got out of prison today." --- ...LOL! Good Ones! Thanks Wesley! -<>- "Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." - K. Jackson -<>- >Life is a Theater...Invite Your Audience Carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay close attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which one discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so, we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds. We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed them with negative thoughts. So who's in your front row? --- ...Thanks Wesley! Wow there goes politics out the door! Thank God we have a great Christian family to fill the void of all those Obama dems! -<>- ( (( . : ( .) ) : ) ( ( : . : : ) )) ( ( ( ( . : . . ) ) ( ( : : : ) ) ) ( :( . . ) .' '. :( : ) ( : . ) ) ') : #@## #',### " #@ #@ #/ @'#~@#~/\ # ## @@# @##@ `..@, @#/ #@# _## `\ @##; `#~._.' ##@ \_ .-#/ @#@#@--,_,--\ / `@#@.., .~###' `~. _/ `-.-' #@####@ \ __/ &^^ ^#^##~##&&& % \_ / && ^^ @#^##@#%%#@&&&& ^ \ ~/ &&& ^^^ ^^ &&& %%% ^^^ `~._ .-' ^^ %%%. && ___^ && && && ^^ \ /akg ^^^ ___&&& X & && |n| ^ ___ %____&& . ^^^^^ `~. |M| ---- . ___.|n| /\___\ X |mm| X |n|X ||___| From: Randy Gardner >Carbon Emissions Okay, here's the bombshell. The current volcanic eruption going on in Iceland, since it first started spewing volcanic ash a week ago, has, to this point, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our planet. Not only that, this single act of God has added emissions to the earth estimated to be 42 times more than can be corrected by the extreme human regulations proposed for annual reductions. I know, I know.... (have a group hug)...it's very disheartening to realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience and expense of driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up til midnight to finish your kid's "The Green Revolution" science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your SUV and speedboat, going on vacation to a city park instead of Yosemite, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all of your $1 light bulbs with $10 light bulbs ...well, all of those things you have done have all gone down the tubes in just the past week. The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth's atmosphere in the past week has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast, carbon. And, those hundreds of thousands of American jobs you helped move to Asia with expensive emissions demands on businesses... you know, the ones that are creating even more emissions than when they were creating American jobs, well that must seem really worthwhile now. I'm so sorry. And I do wish that there was some kind of a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire season across the western U.S.A. will start in about two months and those fires will negate your efforts to reduce carbon emissions in our world for the next two years. So, grab a Coke, give the world a hug, and have a nice day! --- ...Oh Yeah! Thanks Wesley! Plants need C02 - so feed a plant and breath easier today :) http://www.plantsneedco2.org/ =================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS} >From Patriot Update: Send the Obama Democrats packing http://tinyurl.com/239c95x Glitch Found in Fine Print of Health Care Bill http://tinyurl.com/2e4keuk -<>- >From Outpost Update: Illegal aliens sue Arizona rancher (world turned upside-down) If you needed any further evidence that the world is upside-down when it comes to US immigration law, take a look at this: An Arizona man who has waged a 10-year campaign to stop a flood of illegal immigrants from crossing his property is being sued by 16 Mexican nationals who accuse him of conspiring to violate their civil rights when he stopped them at gunpoint on his ranch on the U.S.-Mexico border. Roger Barnett, 64, began rounding up illegal immigrants in 1998 and turning them over to the U.S. Border Patrol, he said, after they destroyed his property, killed his calves and broke into his home. Trial continues Monday in the federal lawsuit, which seeks $32 million in actual and punitive damages for civil rights violations, the infliction of emotional distress and other crimes. Also named are Mr. Barnett's wife, Barbara, his brother, Donald, and Larry Dever, sheriff in Cochise County, Ariz., where the Barnetts live. The civil trial is expected to continue until Friday. ... READ MORE>>> http://tinyurl.com/2asbg9s Join the campaign to say "NO" to amnesty & stand with Arizona Obama and the Democrats in Washington have spent the last few weeks trying the turn the public against Arizona for passing its new law which attempts to identify illegal aliens. Homeland Security Director Napolitano has even hinted that they might not "accept" and/or send home illegals identified by Arizona law enforcement! They even let the Mexican President give a speech to a joint session of Congress where he criticized the government of Arizona. And they're still trying to lay the groundwork for a "comprehensive" immigration bill - which includes amnesty. Click here and join the online campaign against amensty today! http://tinyurl.com/2ad2zf4 Get our Tea Party Activism Free ebook http://tinyurl.com/2f73mh6 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Deceased candidate qualifies in primary --------- GEORGETOWN, Ky. - Officials in Georgetown, Ky., said a deceased city council candidate received 1,002 votes in the primary election, despite signs notifying voters of her recent death. Georgetown officials said Vickie Moore, who died of a heart attack April 4 at age 54, received enough votes Tuesday to move on to November's general election for the council despite signs at polling places telling voters the candidate had died and her votes would not be officially counted, the Lexington (Ky.) Herald- Leader reported. Election officials said Moore's name is being dropped and will be replaced in the general election by that of Antonio Barber Sr. Moore placed 13th out of 29 candidates in the primary. Locals theorized people may have voted for Moore as a tribute to her memory, to show dissatisfaction with the other candidates or because they did not notice the signs. "I think people voted to make a statement, or people were doing it in honor of her, to say 'she would have had my vote had she lived,'" said Scott Turner, president of the Georgetown Scott County Community Connections. -- City plans saggy pants ban ordinance ---------- HORN LAKE, Tenn. - Officials in a Tennessee town said they are working on a new ordinance to ban locals from wearing their pants low enough to reveal underwear or bare back- sides. Horn Lake Mayor Nat Baker and members of the board of aldermen said they have seen recent increases in men wearing their pants in the saggy fashion, leading them to seek a ban in the form of an ordinance, The (Memphis) Commercial Appeal reported. "There have been ordinances like this upheld across the country, and in talking with the city attorney, I think we can draw up something that can be upheld in court," Baker said. "They need to pull their pants back up to where they should be," Baker said. "It's getting out of hand." Officials did not reveal possible penalties for violations of the ban. -- Septuagenarian memorizes 'Paradise Lost' --------- MIDDLETON, Conn. - Connecticut researchers said they have scientifically verified a man's claims of memorizing the entirety of the epic poem "Paradise Lost" by John Milton. John Basinger, 76, of Middleton, said it took him eight years to memorize the some 60,000 words of the poem and he can recite the entire 17th century work in three 8-hour sessions, The Hartford (Conn.) Courant reported. John Seamon, a psychology professor at Middleton's Wesleyan University, said he tested Basinger under clinical conditions after seeing him perform a portion of the poem. He said the researchers recited two lines from the poem at random and Basinger was able to correctly recite the next 10 lines nearly 90 percent of the time. Seamon said Basinger's memorization method was relatively unusual due to the absence of mnemonic devices or constant repetition. He said Basinger, who retired from teaching theater in 1993, spent much of his memorization time connecting to the characters emotionally and trying to understand their motivations. -- Shelter seeks Viagra donations for dog ---------- HUNTINGTON, N.Y. - Workers at a New York state animal shelter said they were seeking people to donate erectile dysfunction pill Viagra to treat a dog's heart condition. Employees at the Little Shelter Animal Rescue and Adoption Center in Huntington said Ingrid, a 6-year-old pit bull, requires two of the pills each day to treat a heart condition, WPIX-TV, New York, reported. The workers said they were asking for donations of the pills, which were originally developed as a potential heart medication, due to the $10 per pill cost for Ingrid. -- Student wears same shoes for four years --------- LAND O'LAKES, Fla. - A Florida high school senior who has worn the same pair of Nike Shox since he was a freshman said he plans to graduate in the shoes to collect on a bet. Ben Hedblom, 17, who is preparing to graduate from Land O'Lakes High School, said he made a wager as a fresh- man with Spanish teacher Adrian Antonini that he would wear the same shoes through graduation day, The St. Petersburg Times reported Monday. Hedblom said the wager stated the loser would shave his head and eyebrows. The teacher left the school after that year, but Hedblom said he continued to wear the shoes because he felt it was important to stay true to his word. The Times said it was able to track down Antonini, who was interviewing for a coaching job in Texas. He said he is considering shaving his head on Web cam. Hedblom said he hopes school officials will put his shoes in the school trophy case after he graduates. -- 'Snoopy' attempts prison break ------------- NEWPORT, England - British police said a man dressed as Snoopy attempted to break a family member out of prison but went to the wrong facility. Authorities said the man and an accomplice tried to break down a door May 1 at the Isle of Wight's Albany site, near Newport, England, and threw concrete missiles at prison officers' cars when the attempt failed, The Sun reported Monday. Police said two men, ages 43 and 21, were arrested on suspicion of criminal damage and detained under the Mental Health Act. It was unclear which of them was dressed as the "Peanuts" comic strip dog. Investigators said the relative they planned to spring was at a different facility. "It's not every day you see a giant cartoon dog going on the rampage after try- ing to break into a prison," a source with Her Majesty's Prison Service told The Sun. "They weren't exactly inconspicuous -- but it was taken seriously because they appeared to have a gun. They caused a real commotion and it was only later they were found to be armed with a water pistol." ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` >colonoscopy If you have ever had a colonoscopy, you will understand this. If you have not had one, it gives you something to look forward to. GG ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. >Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle.. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.. --- ...LOL! What a good story! Thanks John-Paul! ================================================================== >-->From The Mouthpiece: ____ /\ ____ _ _ -- - -__ -_ /v y \/\/ \ -- --___ _ __--__ -" _ ____\7 \\_^_^/ \ _ -- -_ "-_ / V/ \/ \ ^/\ __ _--,_ / \^\|/ \()^7_ \ ^| /">^/",,\ /"("\"\ /\^ / \^_() 7_\ LX<"<,\ _/"/"|\ )\>_ |^ /\ ()_| 7| / >/ >O-,\" _/"_." _/ / / \"\ ^ \_\ ^" V"O^ V /""_-" ,/" /\ \ ) "-,_ \_\ ' \> _-"/ ( .-/ \ ! ) \ _\"-_"\_ ___ ___ ______ \_\ _ _____ ___ ___ \> _ ___ _-"/_-" / ( | / \ | \ \_- "-_ __ _ _ _ _ _- \_\ -- - - -- \"> -<_"__" / _/| \ \ | /! \ \ -_( _"-<_">-- - -- \_`> _-- _ ___",">-____ _"> ""_" "--"--"-" "-"' "-" '" _ \__"> C"" -_O "O-' '"> __ - - jjs _ __()_ ___"-__"\__ __) - O __ - - " - - () _">--"> _ .-- " - """ """ >Older Than Dirt Quiz Count all the ones that you remember - not the ones you were told about! Ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles 5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6933) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Dowdy 14. 45 RPM records 15. S&H Green Stamps 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with lever 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. Packards 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers ------ If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt! =============================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: ___ .dSSSS$$pp.. .dSSSS$$$$$$$$; .dSSSS$$$$$$$$$$$ :SSP^" T$$$$$$$$$$b_ dSSP $$$S$$$$$$$b` dSS$;_. .:$$$SS$$$$$$b dSS$$$_ ; __."^TSS$$$$$b dSS$$P;" ""' :lSS$$$$$b :SS$$$ ; ::SS$$$$$$b_. SSS$$$ : ` ;:SS$$$$$$$bp. :SS$$$$b \ -=- .-" SSS$$$$$$$$$$b SSS$$$$$b.`. / d$SS$$$$$$$$$$$b :SS$$$$$$$; ""T :$$$SS$$$$$$$$P^^t--' SSS$$$S$$$ : $$$$$SS$$$$$$$ : :SS$$$SS$; __; _$$$$$$SS$$$$$$ : SSS$SS l;: ; : $$$$SS$$$$$; ; :SS$SS $;: ; : $$$SS$$$$$$; /; TSSSS :$ \ ; ; :$S$$$$$$$$.-"/ `SP; :; ;: ; T$$$$$$$$; /; : ; ; : `.; /)T$$$$$P .' : ; : : ; .'/ :$$$P'.' .'\ ; \ :; / /$P^".' .-" ; : ;: .' .-" / \ `.____/_'.___:--""\ --' .' ) .-" .' "-._ "-._ ..--"")\ :-' : "-. "-._ ---""" /; ; : : \ "-._....____; : : \ :\ `. \ ; ; \ \\ \ \ ; : : `. \\ \ \ : ; ; ;"-t\ `. \ : : : : `; \ ; ; ; ; : \ / : : / ; \-..__ .'; : ; / : ; """T ; : / / ; \ : ; ; ;/ : : \ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; : ; ; / : : : ; ; ; / ; :; : ; ; / : :: ; ; ;_ `""--..__; :_; __ ;____;.-;'; ;.__.: :..t-"" j" ; ; : ; ; ;--"" \ [bug] ; ; ; : ; : \ ; ; : \ ; ; ;. ; ; \ \ ; : / ; ; ; \ \ ; : ; ; ; \ `-. ; ; .' ; ; \ \ ;___/ /______;.-' \ ---; / / ;______: .-' / '-------' ** HOW TO BE UNHAPPY ** It's not that we want to be unhappy, but don't we do a lot of these things? * Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them. * Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first. * Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything. * Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection. * Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness. * Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives. * Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery. * Take personally everything that happens to you. * Don't give yourself whole-heartedly to anyone or anything. ~~ Author Unknown -<>- ** Get Back In there! ** Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few mminutes, the door opened, and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the woman reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman. -<>- ** CONTENTMENT ** "If I die tonight in my sleep: Let me have hugged and told my children that I love them, Let me have told my mother how much she is loved and appreciated, Let me have helped a friend or better, a stranger, Let me have worked very hard these past hours in the name of my personal progress, and, Let me have gone to sleep with the knowledge that I did the very best I could do today." -- Rick Beneteau "I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content when I cannot be mended and patient when there be no redress." -- Elizabeth Montagu "I am a big believer in the 'mirror test'. All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best." -- John McKay "That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest." -- Henry David Thoreau -<>- ** For The Record ** A radio announcer was introducing a record, 'The next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, that's a ripe old age, isn't it?' There was a short pause and then the DJ said,' I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill.' -<>- , |) |; ,,;, zzzzzz |a a| | L | : -,': --;; \;;--. \ \ \` \ ((\U/ ) `--\_/ pb ** IT'S YOUR DECISION ** A native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart, grandfather?" The grandfather answered: "The one I feed." I pray that we all will make right and good decisions today -<>- ,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___ ((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __ () \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|-- ((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt ** More Modern Day Hymns ** ** The Dentist's Hymn - "Crown Him With Many Crowns" ** The TV Weatherman's Hymn - "There Shall Be Showers of Blessing" ** The Contractor's Hymn - "The Church's One Foundation" ** The Tailor's Hymn - "Holy, Holy, Holy" ** The Golfer's Hymn - "There Is A Green Hill Far Away" ** The Politician's Hymn - "Standing on the Promises" ** The Optometrist's Hymn - "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See" ** The IRS Hymn - "All to Thee" ** The Gossiper's Hymn - "Pass It On" ** The Electrician's Hymn - "Send the Light" ** The Shopper's Hymn - "Sweet By and By" -<>- ** NO FEAR ** A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing: I know my Master is there, and that is enough. And when the door opens, I will pass through it with gladness, but with no fear. -<>- ________ / ______ \ || _ _ || ||| || ||| |||_||_||| || _ _o|| (o) ||| || ||| |||_||_||| ^~^ , ||______|| ('Y') ) /__________\ / \/ ________|__________|__ (\|||/) _________ hjw /____________\ `97 |____________| ** The Marvels Of City Life ** We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 6 year-old ran in to our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!" -<>- ** Speechless ** A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In laws." -<>- ** The Book ** Lunching with a friend in a fast-food restaurant, I was telling her about a teenager who had rear-ended my car. The teen blamed me for the accident. "She even called me every dirty name in the book!" I said. Just then I looked over to the next table where two nine-year-old boys had apparently been paying close attention to my story. One said to the other, "There’s a book?" -<>- ** Tough Explanation ** "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly." The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!" -<>- ** "Oxymorons" ** Ancient Greek : Oxus = "sharp" Moros = "dull" "Oxymoron" = a sharp dullness or a foolish wise. ...a self contradicting phrase. ~~~~~~And away we go......... Oxymorons 4 U..... ** He lived his life to the end. ** You always find something in the last place you look. ** Ah well, they say its not as bad as they say it is. ** Black Light ** I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. ** Left Handed Screwdrivers. ** Straight hooks. ** ...about as useful as a chocolate teapot. ** I want my bedroom painted sky-blue pink. ** compulsory volunteers ** college student ** jumbo shrimp ** That shoe fits him like a glove. ** Plastic lemons ** rubber bones ** bricked-up windows ** artificial grass ** plastic flowers ** invisible ink -<>- ** Short Takes ** ____ ___|=--=/ \=--=| :(___.--. .--.___): { __ ' ) ( ` __ )= ""----'Ahas '----"" ====' A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. "Just lost a shoe ?" she asked. He answered, "Nope, just found one." ================== Classified add: For Sale: Man's suit, perfect fit. ================== I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me. ================= Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. ~~~Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. ~~~Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy. ================ When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team. ================ .g$$$Sbp. .d$$$$SSS$$Sp. dS$$$$SS$$$$$SSb. :S$$$$$SSSS$$$$$SSb $S$$$$$$SS$SSSSSS$S; :$$$S$$SS^"^^""^TSSS: $$$S$$SP T$SS; :$$$S$SP $$SS $$$S$$$ :$$S; :$$$S$$;=-. ,-=^.T$$Sb $$$SS$$.__.\ .__. $S$$$b .d$$SS$$; "" "" :SSS$$; d$$SSS$$$ :S$$S$$ :$$SS$$$$; ._. $$S$$$$ $$SS$$$$S$b .___. d$$$S$$; :SSS$$S$S$$b \.-./ d$$$$S$P`. `^S$S$$SS$$b. `-' .'\^T$P^' \ TS^T$SSSP `.___.' \ __\___ .: `. .'.--\ `. bug .' ; :./ / \ \ .-" __:__. .--;"\: ; ; .-""""" \ `--' : ; : : .' `. ; : ; ; / `. / ; : : : "-. / : \ ; ; `-.' ; \ : ; \ ( ) : \ : ; " ; \ ; : ; ; __..mm: \ : :/ __..NmMMMMMMMMM; ; : _..mmMMMMMMNNMMMMMMMMMM : MMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNMMMMMMMMMM; ; :NMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMMMMMMM : NNMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNMMMMMMMM; ; :NNNMMMMMMMMNMMMNNNNNNNNNNN : MNNNNNNMMNNMMMMMMNNNNNNNMMb Last week Joe's wife woke up in the morning and told him she had a dream that he had given her a pearl necklace. "What do you suppose it means?" she asked. Joe answered, "You'll know tonight." That night, Joe gave her a small package. His wife eagerly unwrapped it only to find a book inside: "The Meaning of Dreams." ================ So the other day my son says to me that when he marries, he wants to find a good woman ... a smart woman ... a woman who'll be a good mother to his children ... a woman who will make him happy. I told him he better make up his mind. -<>- ** A Long Wait ** We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. "Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!" "Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning." -<>- ** Window Seats ** At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for her and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I just spent ten days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I know what I'm requesting." -<>- + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- ** Signs On Church Marquis ** ** 'Free trip to heaven. Details inside.' ** 'People are like tea bags; you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.' ** 'Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush.' ** 'Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.' ** 'If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.' ** 'Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.' ** 'Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.' ** 'It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.' ================================================================== >-->From Cleanlaffs: The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand. "And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn't you feel any qualms? Didn't you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?" "Yes," she answered. "Come to thik of it...there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him." "And, when was that?" "When he asked for the second cup." -<>- dp dp || _||_ ' || ` ~/ ) || ( // _)::(_ // ) || ( // ( \/ ) // `-..-' /' PG Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine to appraise my grandfather's violin. "Old fiddles aren't worth much, I'm afraid," he explained. "What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked. "If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying it from you, it's a fiddle." -<>- Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service. The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wed- nesday evening." The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening." The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor, in Tower One, of the World Trade Center. One of our insured who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor." -<>- One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor. -<>- I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hard- ware who needs assistance at the paint counter." .------. .------. .' //`. .' `. / // \ / \ | // : | ......::::: : // | :::::'''''' | \ // / \ / `._// _.' `._ _.' AsH `"----"' `"----"' One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in the toy department who needs assistance." =============================================================== >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) World's Largest Holes http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/holes.html Tigerfish! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tigerfish.html Why Dogs Bite People http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html Creation Museum http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/creationmuseum.html Top Ways to Stay Healthy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stayhealthy.html Patriot Fire/Rescue/Transport http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/patriot.html WWI Human Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Humor With The Troops 3 http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor3.html Humor With The Troops 2 http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor2.html Miniture Wonderland http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/modeltrain.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Free Dot To Dot Puzzles http://www.dottodots.net/ Kenyan-born Obama all set for US Senate ( Sunday, June 27, 2004 ) http://tinyurl.com/yaj2fpq submit your word or phrase http://tinyurl.com/397s2k3 pesticides linked to ADHD http://tinyurl.com/2ujepmo --- ...Intersting Ones! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's links: Best Wave Ever http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsfw.htm Better Than A Beer Commercial http://www.buffaloschips.com/sssfw.htm Blobbin http://www.buffaloschips.com/sddewew.htm The Elevator http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdksl.htm Bud Light BBQ http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfwsed.htm Funny Stuff http://www.buffaloschips.com/sadfswa.htm German Coast Guard http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm Gun Control http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm How Aliens Fish http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm Idiot 1 http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A 10-foot alligator found its way into a mall in Orlando. Police are calling it a close call, while Panda Express is calling it 'Combo Meal No. 4'." - Jimmy Fallon "A new study found that fish are scared of their own re- flections. I guess that's why my goldfish can never tell that his bow tie is crooked." -Jimmy Fallon "To all of the out-of-towners, some good news. From now on, every Memorial Day is clothing-optional in the subway." -David Letterman "The new 'Shrek' movie opens today. DreamWorks is saying that this will be the last 'Shrek' movie — unless it makes money." - Craig Ferguson "BP is saying that the oil leak is bigger than they estimated. In a related story, the executives at BP are far bigger idiots than we estimated." - Jay Leno "Consultants have credibility because they aren't dumb enough to work at your company." -Scott Adams "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." -Douglas Adams "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." -Emo Philips >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chrristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Pass this on as it should be of interestt to all who served. The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans. ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3 VV ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************