Carjacking Foiled And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) >Still working on the AOL problem: Some of our AOL friends say they are still not getting their ShangyFunList Yahoo group emails even though they set up a new account and subscribed through it. If you aren't getting yours either, I think the best remedy would be for you to sign up for a free email from Yahoo or one you like from here http://email.about.com/od/freeemailreviews/tp/free_email.htm And then subscribe through it. I have the Text archives on the web here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ShangyFunList.html The problem is, you'd only see the Smiles and the Inspiration text emails - none of the graphic Extras that are sent out two or more times a week. I don't know why AOL is so hard to get along with, but at least there are other email services. Love & Blessings In Christ! :) Shangy! -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot hottie was one I was putting on the back burner since I had a page similar to it. But our friends were persistent and I just couldn't postpone it any longer! After all this is from 6 of our friends! It comes from KarenF, GloriaB, LousieA, Geniann, PatDeE, and Bunni! It is definitely well worth your time to check out! Give it time to load and visit it here... (\ _\_(`\_ `/` _ `/,-'=/` _,'|`._ /' `/` ,-' |||._ `-._ i_i _,-' ,-' || `__ `-._ "=(. .)=" _,-' _,-' --||- (..=`/._ `-/#\ ( i_i ,\ _,-' | )|_|-==` \_)`-/ /v "=(. .)=" ,' ,|/ \ |__||\ //|\\ / / #/ ,/ \ ( ,' ,' ((_.--._)) || )(/|\)' /# ; ,/ #,/v ,' ,' |`- -' ||/ (/\\ / #; ,/# ,/ ,' ' / | \ */"-._ |/ _____,-''"/_)/__ / ,',---|((_.--._(__/ _.--""_____)-//_______"-. (,-.)| `- -( _,"_.--"" |||(( __ "-.: ___,/ ;| \ */ _\'_," (\__/) |||\\\ |__`,()() . \ (,_.) (_| (__/,'_,' /_/)=\.\. = |||||| | `( ` ``\|\)\ ( ;.__| _,-'_,' =//. ==> _7)< |||||| |`` , ` * "") ___\ _,--'_,-' //_(7__/) ////\ |||||| |``` \___.--' \_"""_,--' <*)_//'"" )/_/-"""":|||||,""""(("-._/ | """" ) ( _(-' _.---"\___,----. |||||| | ,' "`._ ,(( | ) ( \_/' ,' _"" "_ `.||||| |,"\\'--._) "._ \ \_/<. .>""( ( . .) )|||| |\\ \/,"\\ /`--._) <. .>|_/\| \/ ) \,-( \(||||| | \\)"\\ \) ||_/( ( | |\/ /, \ \ )\\(:|||||,()""""-.:| | \ `-\ | |__\/, :`/-`._____,-""_,' ctr:| |"""\___,""""""""""""""\(_,( (__,-"||---""""""; \---""""---------""""""""````/////))----""""/ ~~~\ ~///////~ ~/~~~~~ \ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ /~~~~/ ~~/ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hong Kong's Noah's Ark! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark2.html --- ...An Awesome one! Thank You My Friends! I think this one took off so well because it has so much money backing it! -<>- . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' *~* We Had A FANTASTIC Month Of Caring And Sharing This Month *~* Be sure to check these out and share them with all your loved ones! Grand Canyon! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grandcanyon.html Cactus Blooms! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cactusblooms.html Wood Festival! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodfestival.html Trivia Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html Great Engineering! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/engineering.html Baby's First! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyfirsts.html Dogs Vs Cats! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogcat.html MacGuyver 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver5.html Dolphin Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dolphinrescue.html ________ _________ \________\--------___ ___ ____----------/_________/ \_______\----\\\\\\ //_ _ \\ //////-------/________/ \______\----\\|| (( ~|~ ))) ||//------/________/ \_____\---\\ ((\ = / ))) //----/_____/ \____\--\_))) \ _)))---/____/ \__/ ((( (((_/ Andrew Fabbro | -))) - )) *~* Big THANK YOU And Huggums In Christ To All Our Great Contributors! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ___ (___) Carjacking Foiled: /` `\ / /"\ \ An elderly lady did her shopping and upon \_/o o\_/ return found 4 males in her car. She dropped ( _ ) her shopping bags and drew her handgun, `\ /` proceeding to scream at them at the top of /\\V//\ her voice that she knows how to use it and / /_ _\ \ that she will if required.... so get out of \ \___/ / the car. \/===\/ || || The 4 men didn't wait around for a second || || invitation but got out and ran like mad, ||___|| where upon the lady proceeded to load her |_____| shopping bags into the back of the car jgs ||| and got into the drivers seat. Small / Y \ problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. `"`"` Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly, white woman......no charges were filed. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 4 is Waiting For The Barbarians Day November 5 is Gunpowder Day November 6 is Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day November 7 is National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day November 8 is Dunce Day November 9 is Chaos Never Dies Day November 10 is Forget-Me-Not Day ======================================================= _ .~q`, {__, \ \' \ \ \ \ \ \ `._ __.__ \ ~-._ _.==~~ ~~--.._ \ ' ~-. \ _- -_ `. \ / } .- . \ `. | / } ( ; \ `| / / ( : '\ \ | / | / \ -r.millward- | /`-.______.\ |^-. \ | |/ ( | `. \_ | || ~\ \ '._ `-.._____..----..___ | |/ _\ \ ~-.__________.-~~~~~~~~~''' .o'___/ .o______} Brachiosaur " Briachiosaurus had little to do, But stand with its head in the treetops and chew, It nibbled the leaves that were tender and green, It was a perpetual eating machine." -- Jack Prelutsky >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Airline Fees With airlines adding fees to fees, A local magazine asked its readers to predict the next surcharge they'll levy for something previously free. 1. In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. To start the flow of oxygen, simply insert your credit card..... 2. $100 On-Time Departure Fee; $25 Delay Complaint Fee. 3. View seating (formerly window seats), $10; Access seating (formerly aisle seats), $10 - $20 to use roll-away stairs to enter or exit the aircraft in lieu of no-charge rope-ladder alternative. 4. $9 fee for bumping your head on the overhead bin as you take your seat; $3 additional penalty for looking up at the bin after you bump into it. -<>- >Children's Church Where my cousin attends church, they have a special service just for the children. They call this "children's church." My cousin's daughter usually stays in children's church on Sunday mornings, but one Sunday she stayed with her parents to attend the regular adult service. When Communion was served, she turned to her mother and whispered loudly, "The snack in children's church is much better. And we get a lot more juice." -<>- >In the Garage We recently moved from our home in the country to a townhouse community, where double garages face the street. I spent a lot of time in my garage during the moving process and was glad to see the friendly way in which drivers waved as they passed me. It took me three days to realize they were reaching up for their garage-door openers. -<>- >Job Perks "That's a great place to work!" shouted the 16-year-old son after coming home from the first day at his first job. "I'm so glad," said the mother. "Yeah," he added "I can't wait to find out where they send me." -<>- >Roman Cab Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Rome, Italy, knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "All the bad drivers are dead." ========================================================= >-->From our Friend LouiseA: o _ -' ,'###`. // U H \ _ || (_| | ,' `. \\ __ ,'. . `.___ | | `-.` ' PG `._.' >SCAM ALERT: The IRS is warning of a new scam that plans to steal your hard-earned money while posing as IRS officials. Crooks are calling taxpayers using fake IRS phone numbers and aliases, saying they owe money to the IRS that needs to be immediately paid in full with a wire transfer or credit card. You can tell it is a scam because the IRS will NEVER require a wire transfer or your credit card number over the phone. --- ...Great Info! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- '-.,;;:;, _;\;|\;:;, ) __ ' \;::, .--' e ':;;;:, ;, (^ ;;::; ;;;, _ --_.--.___,',:;::; ,,,;:;;;, < \ `; | ;:;;:; ':;:;;;,, <`-; \__ ,; / ';:;;:, ';;;' <`_ __', ; , / ::;;;: // `)| \ \ ` .' ';;:;, // ` \ `\ / ;;:;;. //__ \ `/` ;:; ~._,=~` `~=, \_| ( ^ ^ ^ _^ \ \ _,` / ^ ^ ^ .' `.^ ; <`-. jgs '-;` /` ^ ^ /\ ) ^/ <'- \__..-'` ___,,,-'._ ^ ^ _.'\^`'-' ^/ `)_ ..-''` `~~~~` `~===~` <_.-`-._\ Hippocampus: Portrayed as a literal sea-horse, with gills and other features to help it adapt to the water. Often seen as steeds for sea-elves or merrow. >Brit Humor: A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The Asian countries are sending labour to assist in rebuilding the Infrastructure. Canada is sending medical teams and supplies. GREAT BRITAIN , not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Muslims. God Bless GREAT BRITAIN .... Darn those Brits are smart...!! --- ...LMAO! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >BURGLARY IN FLORIDA : (You just can't make this stuff up!!) When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a white box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That's the way the police report it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: 'Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.' The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The white box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. Scotch taped to the box was this note which said: Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day. And you thought California was the land of fruits and nuts. -- --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- Grandpa Aaron was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular... "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, and a magazine, some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!! Then Grandpa said sadly ..."You can't DO that any more...they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look.. -------- A married couple was sleeping and an intruder entered their house. The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?" "My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied. The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you." The intruder then turned to the husband and asked, "What is your name?" "My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth! ------- It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied. ---~~~ A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at a Tesco store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?" The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead." ---~~~ The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said. The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. ~~~--- A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?" The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!" ------- Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by, the traffic built at an alarming rate. Eventually the traffic became so heavy and so fast that several of his chickens were being killed every day. So Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day county workers went out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY A few days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The sign seems to make them go even faster!" So county workers put up a new sign: SLOW--SCHOOL CROSSING That was no better. Farmer John called the sheriff and asked, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?" "Sure thing, put up your own sign." Anything to keep this pest from calling. When the sheriff got no more calls about speeders, curiosity got the best of him and he gave Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers? Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then." The sheriff was curious enough to go out there and take a look at that sign. He thought, "This might be something can use to slow drivers down." The sheriff's jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR CHICKS --- ...TeeHee! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From our Friend Geniann :) ___ I'm getting no where Fast!!!! / ,_\ _____ / _)/ /o \ | \ /_ ` \_________ | \____ >__,_ \ | | )) )__, | \,___________ // / \ |_ )__//__/ \ __). ________/o / \____/ /` \ / \_______ _// _/ \ \ \____ __,--. / / \ \_), \ \_____/ \_________/ \\ \ ______/_/ (___/ / o\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',, ,,,,, ,,, >AAADD - Know the symptoms. . . . please read Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even though I have it!! Recently I was diagnosed with AAADD (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder) This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, and quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed the bills aren't paid there's a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter the flowers don't have enough water there's still only 1 check in my checkbook I can't find the remote I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'M REALLY TIRED. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email. Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to. DON'T LAUGH. . .IF THIS ISN'T YOU YET, YOUR DAY IS COMING!!!!! --- ...HaHa! My oh My! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From Our Friend Richard :) Healthcare.gov exposed as data-gathering honey pot to shamelessly harvest private consumer data and turn it over to the NSA http://tinyurl.com/k8zpufg --- ...Interesting! Thanks Richard! -<>- >From BizarreNews: China is a dynamic country with an ancient culture steeped in its own wisdom. There is more that we can glean from China other than just lead-based toys and Internet censorship. Their enlightened attitude toward women, for example. Beijing Police Department recently posted a series of messages on China's Twitter-like service entitled "Women Drivers Please Take Care to Avoid These Mistakes." These helpful, common-sense hints included warnings about a woman's lack of a sense of direction, wearing high heels while driving, an inability to control a car's gas and brake pedals, driving with the hand brake on, forgetting to switch gears while driving and getting flustered after an accident. One post read, "Some women drivers lack a sense of direction and while driving a car they often hesitate and can't decide which road to take. Once they realize their mistake, they cause accidents by spinning the steering wheel in a panic." Sounds like a very plausible scenario. And forewarned is forearmed, after all. Another post read, "Women drivers tend to panic following an accident. They usually draw a complete mental blank, providing opportunities for criminals." Surprisingly some Chinese citizens had a problem with these posts. "This is discrimination! Many male drivers are idiots, too," wrote one angry reader. Which is undoubtedly true, but what that reader failed to realize is that all of those male drivers are also Chinese! -<,.>- Who remembers the book "1984" by George Orwell? In this sunny, optimistic take on the future the political entity known as Oceania is ruled by four ministries; the Ministry of Peace, which deals with war, the Ministry of Plenty, which deals with the economy, the Ministry of Love, which deals with law and order, and the Ministry of Truth, which deals with propaganda. We all know how that book turned out. With alarmists constantly squawking about how the U.S. and some other industrialized nations are turning into police states, it is easy to miss some rather obvious and even frightening hints as to where things are really heading in the modern world. For example, Venezuela now has a formal government agency in charge of enforcing happiness. President Nicolas Maduro says the new Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness will coordinate all the "mission" programs created by the late President Hugo Chavez to alleviate poverty. Oil-rich Venezuela is chronically short of basic goods and medical supplies. Annual inflation is running officially at near 50 percent and the U.S. dollar now fetches more than seven times the official rate on the black market. A TV journalist whose show was recently forced off the air after he refused to censor political opponents of the ruling socialists, Leopoldo Castillo, called Maduro's announcement an international embarrassment. Housewife Liliana Alfonzo, 31, said that instead of a Supreme Happiness agency she'd prefer being able to get milk and toilet paper, which disappear off store shelves minutes after arriving at stores. *-- Ships use Britney Spears songs to ward off Somali pirates --* MOGADISHU, Somalia - An international organization of maritime security companies says the music of Britney Spears has proven effective in warding off Somali pirates. A representative from the Security Association for the Maritime Industry said ships traveling in the Indian Ocean have found the pirates are repelled by Spears' hit songs "Oops! I Did It Again" and "Baby One More Time" as a result of their distaste for western culture, the Nairobi (Kenya) Standard Digital News, reported Tuesday. The representative said ships blaring the music to ward off an impending attack found their security workers rarely had to use their guns. He said the pirates "go to any length to overcome the music." "I'd imagine using Justin Bieber would be a great crime against humanity," the representative quipped. *-- Mother posts message to thief who took son's pumpkin --* WASHINGTON - A mother in the U.S. capital posted a message outside her home addressed to the thief who stole her 2-year-old son's pumpkin. Becky Reina said her family carved four Halloween pumpkins, including one for 2-year-old Tommy, and the toddler's pumpkin turned up missing from outside their home last week, WTOP-TV, Washington, reported Tuesday. "To the person who stole my son's pumpkin: Thank you for the life lesson. This will help teach him that sometimes people are mean for no reason, and you have to just brush it off. Because my son is 2 years old and cannot read the sign, I will add, you are an [expletive]," Reina wrote on a poster board she put outside the home. Reina said pumpkins in the area are often stolen and smashed, but Tommy's pumpkin was the only one of the four outside her home to be targeted. She said the pumpkin was likely among those found destroyed by neighbors. *-- Student allowed to resume wearing Jesus costume --* HIGHLAND PARK, Ill. - A student at a suburban Chicago high school who wore a Jesus costume Thursday for Halloween was told to remove it by school officials. The student at Highland Park High School was allowed to resume wearing his toga, cross and crown of thorns after officials decided he did not select the costume to offend, the Chicago Tribune reported. The school in Highland Park on the North Shore has guidelines for Halloween costumes that try to bar anything offensive or provocative. Students are warned to avoid props that suggest drinking or smoking and anything that would stereotype culture, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or religion. A photo that appears to show the teen in costume was posted Wednesday on Facebook, the Tribune said. "OH MY GOD(literally), please don't be afraid if u see BLACK JESUS munchin on some pasta tomorrow! HAPPY HALLOWEEN," the accompanying message said. *-- More than 1,500 win cash with 666 lottery number --* HARTFORD, Conn. - Connecticut Lottery officials said more than 1,520 people won prize money by playing the number 666 in the Play3 Night drawing. Officials said the prizes are based on the amount wagered by the players, so the payouts from Monday night's drawing will vary from $25 up to $2,500, WFSB-TV, Hartford, Conn., reported Thursday. "Since the Play3 Night game began, 6-6-6 has been drawn a total of nine times in the nightly drawing with the last combination being picked on March 22, 1995," said Anne Noble, president and chief executive officer of the CT Lottery. "It's always fun and exciting when a triple single digit is drawn because so many people are particularly fond of playing these numbers." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) Helping Hands! ___ ____ ___ ____( \ .-' `-. / )____ (____ \_____ / (O O) \ _____/ ____) (____ `-----( ) )-----' ____) (____ _____________\ .____. /_____________ ____) (______/ Joe Reiss `-.____.-' \______) >Tips: Did you know? Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water. Gatorade is good for Migraine Headaches (PowerAde won't work). --- ...Great Tips! Thanks Fran! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) .-~*~--,. .-. .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-. .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\ /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`. |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO} /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO| lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO) \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.' `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~' (OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO) `~-~'' \ \WW=*' __\ \ \ \ \ __\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ \ >One dark and Stormy Night... Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skidded out of control! Bob attempted to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerved and smashed into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light which is coming from a large old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A large, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. It is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! ... Scroll down.... * You’re gonna kill me!!! * * * * * ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!" (I am soooooo sorry.....but you really should've seen that one coming!) --- ...LOL! Great classic! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ._-'-_ . . ' /_-_-_\ ` . .' |-_-_-_-| `. ejm ( `.-_-_-.' ) !`. .'! ! ` . . ' ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! / / \ \ _-| \___ ___/ /-_ (_ )__\_)\(_/__( _) ))))\X\ (((( \/ \/ One hot afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of southern Utah, my husband and I pulled into the only hotel in a small town. While signing the register, we asked the young woman behind the desk if our room was air-conditioned. When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town. Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came up with a solution. "Just turn on the heater," she suggested. "Our customers tell us all that comes out is cold air anyway." -<>- Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord." -<>- While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One." -<>- As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth 50,000 years ago at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." The lady sitting next to me exclaimed: "Wow, look! It just missed the highway!" -<>- 'Writing: For the Sell of It' was the theme of our community college's annual writers' conference. When I called a widely published author and asked him to be our keynote speaker, my request was met with a long silence. He finally said, "I don't know what I would say to that audience." "You're just being modest," I replied. "I'm sure you're extremely qualified to speak on that subject." He suddenly broke into laughter. "I thought you said, 'Writing for the Celibate!'" -<>- A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. "It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better." When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach. "How much for two buckets of that seawater?" he asked the lifeguard. "A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face. The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars. The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself." The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out. "Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard. "Some business you got here!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: &&& && && &&&&. &&& .&&&&& && &&& &&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&& & &` && && .&&&&& &&&; &8 .&&&: && &` & && 8&& & `& && && .&_ oO_&.-.-. && ( __ -/--' &&~ .'-__-'& RABBIT SEASON!! &&&~`'\`& &&&~` _& &&&&` && &&8&&&& &&&&&&& & &&&&&&& &&;&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& ~~~ .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ >Top Ten Things Overheard During Dick Cheney's Hunting Trip 10. "Has everyone updated their will?" 9. "The crisp air is giving me goose bumps — no, wait, it's another heart attack" 8. "This can't end well" 7. "My pacemaker also makes bird calls" 6. "I want that quail taken alive — let's find out what the son of a bitch knows" 5. "Bush was supposed to come, but his father got him out of it" 4. "Condi, grab a shotgun and go get yourself a man" 3. No No.3 — writers making picket signs for upcoming strike" 2. "You shoot one guy in the face, avoid talking to authorities, delay taking a blood-alcohol test, and you're labeled a bad guy" 1. "Duck!" [From the Late Show with David Letterman] -<>- /| |\ ; : : : | Y, ,P | | Yb. __ ,dP | l\ YMMb,_ _,/ \,_ _,dMMP /f j; `YMMP' `--' `YMMP' ;j : \ YP`-._ _.-'YP / ; \ `\, _,\_ _/,_ ,/' / `,_, \`o> Top Ten Least Popular Halloween Candies 10. Bit-O-Monkey 9. Lice Krispie Treats 8. Good N' Clammy 7. Malted Meat Balls 6. Mullahmars 5. They-Might-Be-Raisinets 4. Al Gore's Melted Sno-Caps 3. No No. 3 — writer out trick-or-treating 2. Mr. Goodbar Who Used To Be Mrs. Goodbar 1. Tootsie Roids [From the Late Show with David Letterman] -<>- .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' >How to Identify Where a Driver is From 1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. 2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. 3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey. 4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston. 5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles. 6. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida. 7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy. 8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle. 9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas. 10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Best Husband! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/husbands.html Black Deer Fawn! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deer.html Ostional Sea Turtles! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seaturtle.html Close And Personal 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal2.html Maxine Humor 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor2.html Pumpkin Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Veggie Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggie.html Backpack Cat! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/backpack.html Amazing Stairways! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html Chinese Wal Mart! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html Thinkers And Their Desks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) So cute! Cats stealing dog beds. http://tinyurl.com/mc4ctun In case you didn’t know Bacon fixes everything all you have to do is “Rub Some Bacon On It” like internet musicians and comedians Rhett & Link do in this funny music video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSReSGe200A&feature=player_embedded Magician twins Gary and Paul perform the classic illusion of sawing a lady in half with a clear case. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=p2Wkg6I5RqI I know that most of you zone out when the flight attendant makes safety announcements. But Virgin America Airlines decided to make sure people would pay attention with their new spin on safety. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtyfiPIHsIg --- ...Great Links! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Richard :) Stunning photographs---enjoy! http://www.yiminghuphoto.com/portfolio/landscape.php --- ...Beautiful! Thanks Richard! -<>- >From our friend Bunni :) This is what might be happening on your computer if you leave it on overnight. Click here... http://tinyurl.com/37s6xo (I wonder who had time to do this.) --- ...TeeHee! Fun to watch! Thanks Bunni! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "You know what Portland has lot of? Microbreweries. I think they are like regular breweries, but only serve midgets." -Craig Ferguson "A new study found that eating healthy adds $380 to your grocery bill every year. Or as Americans put it, 'Cool, I saved $380 this year!'" -Jimmy Fallon "A team of British engineers have developed a car that runs on human waste. I'll bet that new car smell doesn't last very long." -Jay Leno "Health officials in California are warning that teenagers are trying to get drunk by drinking hand sanitizer. Yeah, it's weird when you're like, 'I got so wasted last night I must've had like, six squirts of Purell.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Are you excited about Halloween? People go out pretending to be something they're not, looking for handouts. It's like running for president." -Dave Letterman "Last week, a hunter in Kansas shot his friend twice because he mistakenly thought he was a turkey. After the first shot, the guy said he wasn't a turkey. But, come on, that's exactly what a turkey would have said." -Jimmy Fallon "A recent study has found that more senior citizens than ever are entering college. College faculty says that the seniors are like any other students...except they take Jell-O shots just for the Jell-O." --Conan O'Brien "I want to get this off my chest: For the past 20 years, I have been using performance-enhancing vodka." -David Letterman "Japanese researchers have successfully grown hair on a bald mouse. The researchers are ecstatic, and the mouse is relieved he doesn't have to keep wearing that stupid toupee." -Conan O'Brien "If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." - P. G. Wodehouse "How hard it is, sometimes, to trust the evidence of one's senses! How reluctantly the mind consents to reality." - Norman Douglas "Someone's boring me. I think it's me." - Dylan Thomas "I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." - Al Franken >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************