Celebrate! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== ~*~ I Hope Everyone Had A Great EASTER CELEBRATION! ~*~ _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` *~* HURRAY! *~* Christ Is Risen! Christ Is Risen! Glory Hallalujia, Praise God, Amen Makes Me Feel Like Singing Again! Glory Hallalujia, Christ Is Risen, Amen! Let's Sing and Dance and Rejoice! JESUS CHISXT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR IS ALIVE! Glory Hallalujia! Praise God, Amen Glory Hallalujia, Christ Is Risen, Amen! . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' Here's pages to Make You Want to Celebrate and Have a good time! Walk With Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/walk.html Dance! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sdp.html Keep On Smiling! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smiling.html Top Reasons To Smile! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smile.html Here's Your Frog! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html Howdy My Friend! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html -<>- >Our Friend PatW has a Special Prayer Request: I have a prayer request, please. My 98 year old Mom is failing fairly rapidly. It is beginning to sound very much as though the end is in sight and I may have to go up there sometime this week. Please keep her in your prayers, and keep my sister in your prayers as she is the one who has had to do all the arranging in getting caregivers, Hospice, and now possibly a nursing home. Many thanks. God's Peace! Pat --- ..Of Course PatW, Your sweet Mom is in my prayers as is your sister and yourself. May God watch over each of you and bless you true in Jesus Christ's Name. -<>- >-->From Our Friend Tony in Australia :) .-') Christ IS Coming!!!! / | .' / F / / / //) /( .< .'.''| /_ `-._ .')' ).'.'') ' `-._ `-. .'.'.'/.''.'/- `-._`-.__ .--. .'-'/..'`).'.' / `. / `. _.' -. \ .' ' ).'.'/.' .''_ .') >- /_`.) ` -.)|--'.'-'--.'.'-..'' / .' / | | `.> ) ))'.'/-'/.-'.-'' _.' _.-') .' / | `. )_.>_.>_.-'_.-' `..-'.-')-'_ / )___.-' `-, ))__> <_.-' _.--'_.-'_.-'_.' / \ ))-. .> __<-' )_>_.-'--'.' `. ) ))-.<_>__\____.-'---'_.-'--. `-._ ) ))-'__>-'____<__)--' `----' `-. ) )-->._\-----'__________> ) >_>_`._ `--.->_____.--' | ` )\_ ___>----'-----' J \)\)`-`-.__`-.`--' >-""""-.\))\ \`-\`.__)-' / /\|`. \\/`--\_\`-' ) `. / `. (_.-. _ .-._) ___ | `-' \ / `-.____ .' -( | ( `,`.`. `._______ .' ' \ | \ \ ` `---.____ `./ .' ) J \ \ -.__ .' / \ | \ `-. -. -. .' ) | ` _ `. -. -.__.'-. | \ `.`. `-. `. ) | | \ \ \ `. `._ -.__.-') | \ \ \ `.` . ( | \ \ \ ` \ \ \ .-.__.- \ \\ | \\ \ \ \ \ `. ._ ) \\ \ \ \ \ \ \ | -. `---< \ \ \ `. | | | \ ._ / \ \ `. \ | \ -' L \ -.< | |\ `. < ) || \ \ `. ` `-. .' VK ) \ ` \ | \ \ ._) | | \ \ \ < `. ` |( / | \ \ .' | J | \ \ .-.\ ( / ) | ) ) | \_. | | `- / `._/ | .-. _ .' J / \ / `-' | | `. .' `-' Well, yet another Easter has passed on…sermons have been preached, hymns have been sung and maybe a few souls have been saved and we are now back on the track to Christmas! Isn’t it strange? how the older you get, the quicker time seems to fly on by…but the truth is.. a minute is a minute, an hour is an hour and a day is a day… For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. I long YES! I long for my Messiah! to Come back again don’t you? I can’t say I a sick of this world because there are so many things I love about it! But I long for the Messiah! I have no misgivings as did the Jews of old. I KNOW who He is! Was…. and WILL be! I have no idea ‘how’ He will return…but I KNOW! He WILL return, because that’s what He promised! I care not whether he is riding on a donkey or arrives in His own Lear jet, just as long as he arrives! I care not if he is wearing long white robes or a Saville Row suit! But He will make sure I recognize him! He will be the one calling out my Name!~ The Jews pictured a warrior, complete with armor and an army to defeat the Romans. he was according to them, to put their enemies down and gather up HIS people and give them back their country! Their Jerusalam! And they got a Carpenters son, riding on an ass.! In time, just a very short time…the rejected Him! They charged Him with blasphemy because the claim was that he said he Was God. He healed and He forgave and according to the Jews only God could do that! Only God. Today, are we looking for a warrior? Are we expecting a teacher? The Jews did. Why was that? Well, that’s simple. They got that from the Old Testament teachings and prophesies! and we KNOW! because of our ‘hindsight’, that the prophesies are coming to pass. I guess we see in Isaiah 53, a prophesy of His suffering and suffer he did! Isaiah talks about a ‘final’ death! but in hindsight again, we KNOW it wasn’t final! Because the prophesy also states that “after His death He will see the light of LIFE!”…………. Praise the lord!” and He will be given ‘portion’…among the great. Isaiah wasn’t the only one to ‘see’ what the future held. Daniel said of the Messiah “ He will be cut off and have nothing! (Dan 9:26) and if we read this in tandem with Zech 12:10 we will see that scripture is backed up with scripture again! They will look on Me, the ONE they have pierced and that out together with further prophesies show that concerning the Lord Jesus there will be 2 comings! The first appearance confirms the ‘line’ not just a particular period. It teaches all we have to now about His birth, his growing up to be a Teacher. The Bible account goes on to tell us about how He healed and how he eventually suffered and died on a cruel cross, but we KNOW! that had to be! for OUR sakes! … Not his! Daniel indicates that there IS some sort of time line, be it understood or not because Daniel talks about ‘ 7 years’ pass in which the fulfillment of the prophesies take place and ALL the scriptures tell us that JESUS IS COMING! WHATEVER TIME IT TAKES! And I believe we can see fulfillment of those prophesies happening around us more….and more. Just about everyday now, we hear of a ONE World Religion and a ONE world Government. Now human nature being what it is, I am not sure how this will all come about, but it IS prophesied, we cannot stop it happening but meantime, we CAN as individuals, do what WE can do to make this world a’ as the Beatles sung about….a ‘better place” That’s something that the “family of God” should always be busy doing. We cannot let the ‘powers that be’ ban religion in schools or any other places of teaching but its happening, just as the movement toward World Government is happening. We have to do our level best! To oppose this. People, there is STILL hope! You want comforting words of hope? Go get your Bible and brush the dust off its cover and read Matt 1-2! You will see it all happening but you will find answers that will allay your anxieties! You will see answers that will make you want to shout! And you will see that life is to be enjoyed! It’s all there if you seek it out! Matt 1 tells how he is born, Matt 5 tells us that HE will provide for those who follow Him, Matt 16 you will see the ‘human’ side of Our Lord as he suffers what some of us suffer today, ‘rejection’ and then Matt 26 shows how he went to Calvary and gave His all for US! AS PROPHESIED! But amidst all of this….. there is Hope! and that’s the whole point of the Gospels! to let us know that HE cared enough, to pay the price INSTEAD of us! so that one day WE could be in Paradise…..with HIM! The Bible and the Old Testament is our foundation. The New Testament is the roof over our heads! It’s put in place to show us that ALL is NOT lost! We now have to believe in the Coming of God! Look UP! It’s a narrow pathway yes! But our belief is the only way to gain true fulfillment. Br Tony --- ...Now Isn't that Wonderful? He Is RISEN AND HE'S COMING BACK! Thank You Tony - sure is cause to Celebrate! HOPE OF THE RETURN! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/hopeofthereturn.html ======================================================================= ___ .-""-. / '''---...-'.' `\\ jgs \___...---"""-._-.__// Fixin To Make The Fixins... '---' If I where a maniac, I would drive a Cadillac. But at least I would not be a hypochondriac, even if I was on prozac. If I was fixing to make the biscuits I would first get the biscuit mixes. Then I would make the biscuit fixins I was fixin to get the biscuit mixes. But I seen two stixes so I used the stixes to mix the mixes together to make the biscuit fixins. But then suddenly Mr Nicks started to help me with the biscuit fixins. Then I asked Mr Nicks if we needed more mix in the biscuit mix to make more fixins? Mr nicks said no I don't think we need more mix in this biscuit mix because we are ( fixin to really start mixing the mix ) ) because you know when you are fixin to _.(--"("""--.._ mix the mix. You need to mix the mix /, _..-----).._,\ real fast so when you mix the mix fast | `'''-----'''` | the mix gets bigger so you can make \ / more fixins. But at this point we are '. .' only just fixin to make the fixins. jgs '--.....--' ================================================================== +--------------- Bizarre International Laws ---------------+ MISCELLANEOUS In China, you must be intelligent in order to go to college. In Denmark, no one may start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle. In France, no pig may be addressed as Napoleon by its owner. In Israel, picking your nose is illegal. In Norway, you may not spay your female dog or cat. However, you may neuter the males of the species. In Scotland, it is illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow. In Sweden, while prostitution is legal, it is illegal for anyone to use the services of a prostitute. In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear. ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatH :) . \ | / _\|/_ .' ' ' '. ___ _.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-. .'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'` .'.' ||()|()|| .___..-'.' / \ `----'"` / .-. \ (.'.(___).'.) `.__.-.__.' jgs |_| |_| `.`-'.' `"` Today is International Disturbed People's Day Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... ._ _ | \ / | |__/ |\ .' / `. / / (/) _.-------------------._ () .-' `-. \ .' O Don't You Have `. `.___ .' O Something Else `. `. / o Better To Do? \ / | . /| | J L . .-'' ''\/| _ _ j | | < ' |/.\ /.\ | | | __ '--. |../\|...\ /...\ | `. L \ / ' /.....\ /.....\ J \ | \__/ _/ | | | | | ) \ \__/ | O |-'-'-'-| O | / / `. __ \ ___ | . _ . .' / `. \__\/ \ | . / \ . .' / / `-. |_ | . | |.-' .' ( `-.___\_____||^||_|/iwO (______) (rediddle by VK) Just As I've Done. I Don't Care ;%%%; If You Lick %o.o% WINDOWS `=´ \/ _ _(\@/)_ _ / (_}_Y Y_{_) / \ /_____\ /___/ ___ /___o| \ / / \ / / \ / / \ / / \_ \/ / |\_ / / | \_ / | \___/ MJP Take the special bus Or occasionally pee on yourself.. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special! Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back! SO Today's Message of the Day is: Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you SMILE .... Send to all the people you love and don't want to lose in 2008. If you get 3 back, you are a great friend. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance! So Visit this Fun Page: Let's Dance http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dance.html --- ...Cute and FUNNY! Thanks PatH! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) ~The Devil and the Duck~ There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit any of the targets. Becoming discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back , he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .' ___...-'. /__......-----``` \ /`---...._________......---'\ : : | )\ )\ | | ( `-. `. -. | | `-. .'` ~ `. | Who's Watching YOU? \ / ` .-.` \ / \ | `( @ ) ~| / \ \~ .``-' `/ / `._ `-.___.-` _.' `-._ _.-' `-.-=-.-' ((o)) LGB // \\ .---/ \_/ \---. ( '._____.' ) `-------------' Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, Sally, let's wash the dishes But Sally said, Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen. Then she whispered to him, Remember the duck? So Johnny did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Then Grandma said, I'm sorry, but I need you Sally to stay and help make supper. Sally just smiled and said, Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help She whispered again, Remember the duck? So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you. Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done, * * * * ) (\___/) ( * /( \ (. .) )\ * # ) c\ >' ( # ' )-_/ ' \\|, ____| |__ ,|// \ ) ( ` ~ ) ( / #\ / /| . ' .) \ /# | \ / ) , / \ / | \,/ ;;,,;,; \,/ _,#;,;;,;, /,i;;;,,;#,; (( %;;,;,;;,; )) ;#;,;%;;,, _// ;,;; ,#;, /_) #,; // // \|_ \|_ |#\ |#\ -" b'ger -" And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) whatever it is... You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen, and will be looking at you during your entire life. He wants you to know because He loves you, You are Forgiven. Just remember, when you ask for forgivness, and if in your Heart, You are truly sorry, of your sins (the breaking of HIS laws) GOD WILL FORGIVE! EVERY TIME! Remember, when Jesus was asked: "How many times should we forgive those that hurt us -7 times"? JESUS said,"no, 7 times 70" (490 times) Now just think about it. You stand and let some one SLAP your Face, over and over for 490 times, [Here is a person with a headache] ________________________ (_(((____________________) / | @@/ | @@@/____|@@ @@@ , \@@@ @@@@@ (*) (*)@@ @@@@@@ , \ \@ @@@@@@ __) ) @@@@@@ ,________( _ | | @@@@@ /|_|_|_|_| | ' |__| @@@@@ | A |_|| _ | | @@@@@ | _ __ __ |_| | | @@@@@ \|_|__|__| | | @@@@@ \ @@@ _______) ejm ) ( and if you have any Face left by then, what about the 491 time--? Do you then say, AH HA, Now I don`t have to forgive, and I can hit back? NOT! If you think like that , You never forgive the first blow. So Jesus gave an imposiable noumber for you and me to forgive---mmmmm-- We are only human, and make many mistakes. Then how many times will the ALMIGHTY GOD, Forgive?---- EVERY TIME!! (\___/) \ (, ,) c\ >' )o_/ /\ ____/ /__ ,_ DO IT MY WAY! / \ __/ ` ~ ) / _/// /_ %%%___%, . ' .) \ /# _____________ %%% = =% , / \ / | | '\\\\\\ ___%% > __..,; \,/ | ' ____|_ /' \_% ^ % \:,# | + '||:::::: / %%%% .'%#.% | '||_____| /. ,- O < \%"# '________|_____| (\ <' ' |\ / '-.___ ___/____|___\___ _.\__\________\_\___/), |\\_______________| _ ' <<<:| |_________'___o_o| b'ger He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. One of The greatest things about GOD, is that when you ask for Forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He even Forgets. It is in GOD`S Grace and Mercy that we are saved. God is always at the window of our lives! When Jesus died on the cross; HE was thinking of Forgivness for All humanity, that includes, you and me! Now let me ask you a question, Are you one of the 93 % who will stand up for HIM, no matter what? Please know, for sure, that I, for one of the 93%', Will Stand, and I`m Standing. That is the reason You are recieving this message In~GOD`S~Love~~~~~John-Paul --- ...A Good one! Thanks John-Paul! ================================================================== >-->New Parking Rules (Not to be taken seriously!) ____________ .F............T. | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ | `----------' | _+' `+_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' Rule #1 - When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing. Rule #2 - Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred. Rule #3 - In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both. Rule #4 - As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him. Rule #5 - Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car. Rule #6 - When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard. Rule #7 - When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed. Rule #8 - Empty your ashtrays on the ground in shopping center parking lots. While your at it, dump out all the garbage, too, including that Wendy's or McDonald's bag sitting in the back seat from breakfast. Rule #9 - When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it. Rule #10 - If you don't see a speed limit sign posted in the malls parking lot, there isn't any! ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _____________________ | _________________ | | | / | | | | /\ / | | | | /\ / \ / | | | | / \/ \/ | | | |/ JO | | | |_________________| | | __ __ __ __ __ __ | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | McD's Needs One of these... | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | ___ ___ ___ ___ | | | 7 | 8 | 9 | | + | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | 4 | 5 | 6 | | - | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | | x | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | . | 0 | = | | / | | | |___|___|___| |___| | |_____________________| (Graphing Calculator) My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. -<>- The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas transplant..." "What on Earth makes you think you need all those?" "Well," replied the patient, "My boss said if I want to keep my job I needed to get reorganized." -<>- _______ / ) /_____ | ______ ( ' ) / / __\ _____ |. '| / | \ | / )) |____|/ |`-----' /_____)) `-----' `------' cf I went into the restaurant next to the office and ordered a tuna on wheat. The waitress said, "Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of wheat bread. You’ll have to have it on white." The next day I went to the same place and ordered the same tuna on wheat. Again she told me they were out of wheat, I’d have to get it on white. The third time I went there I decided to skip the step of being refused the wheat and just ordered tuna on white. The waitress looked up from her notepad and said, "Aren't you the guy who usually orders it on wheat?" -<>- "Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?" "Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say." _.. /}_{\ /.-' ( a a )-.___...-'/ ==._.== ; \ i _..._ /, {_;/ {_// fsc "Well then, I'm going to milk the cat." -<>- A guy walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book with a very interesting title, "Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want." So he picks it up and opens it to a random page. "Chapter 1 The First Date." He glances the chapter over for a few minutes, and rushes out of the bookstore to call a girl he's wanted to ask out for quite a while. When he gets home, picks up the phone and calls her. She answers, "Hello?" He says, "Hi, Jessica? Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?" She says, "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that." He gets excited. He thought she'd say, "No Way!" but she didn't. So, he decided to take it one step further. He asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?" She replies, "Sure, that would be great too!" "Fine, I'll pick you up about 9:00, do you think you'll be finished eating by then?" -<>- The big San Francisco earthquake occurred on April 18, 1906. The accompanying fire caused more than 500 deaths. It was the worst earthquake disaster in U. S. history as well as the deadliest urban fire. A few years ago, when the big quake hit the Los Angeles area, part of the damage included the totaling of a car belonging to a tourist who had driven in from out of state. When he put in the claim to his insurance company, they re- jected it. When asked why the claim was not covered, the Insurance company said it was because the tourist had a no- fault policy. Angry about the insurance company's decision, the policyholder tried to start a citizen's organization to fight this kind of rip-off from happening again. He called it the San Andreas Fund. However nothing came of it. Hardly anyone would contribute to aid the fund in its efforts. The general feeling was that charity is one thing, but this was being generous to a fault. ================================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: >From CoffeeBreak: ,-. O / `. <\/ `. |* `. / \ `. / / `>')3s, --------. ,' apc / 7 Angler, trout get reacquainted A Wyoming Game and Fish biologist says the lake trout he caught recently may have been one he stocked 25 years ago. Bill Wengert said he was fishing in southwest Wyoming's Flaming Gorge Reservoir when he reeled in the 2.5-pound, 23-inch Mackinaw, the Casper (Wyo.) Star-Tribune reported Monday. Wengert said he researched the markings on the fish and discovered he may have been present when the fish was released into the reservoir in April 1983. "I may have actually clipped the fins on this very fish and I know I was driving the barge when the fish were stocked, nearly 25 years ago," he said. He said the fish's relatively small size belied its age -- similarly aged catch made in 2004 measured 35 inches and weighed in 17.1 pounds. "I have looked at thousands of fish in my career and I never would have guessed that fish was so old," he said. Wengert said the fish will provide researchers with "an opportunity to learn more about fish genetics, age and growth of lake trout in the reservoir." ,. (\(\) ,_ ; o > {`-. / (_) `={\`-._____/` | `-{ / -=`\ | Chicken gets radiation .="`={ -= = _/ /`"-. (M==M=M==M=M==M==M==M==M) therapy for cancer \=N=N==N=N==N=N==N=NN=/ \M==M=M==M=M==M===M=/ \N=N==N=N==N=NN=N=/ jgs \M==M==M=M==M==M/ `-------------' Eve, a pet chicken in England, is believed to be the first hen in Britain to receive radiation therapy to treat her cancer. Elaine and Chris Denney of Hatfield Norton said they decided to pay the more than $2,000 for the treatment after Eve lost a leg to cancer, The Sun reported Monday. "We would do this for any of our 15 chickens," Elaine Denney said. The treatment was administered Friday at the Animal Health Trust in the county of Suffolk. Cheney says troops' work is inspirational U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney told troops Tuesday at Balad Air Base in Iraq that their work was inspirational, appreciated and never taken for granted. Cheney noted five years ago this week "we led a coalition to liberate this country from tyranny," promising the United States would stand by the Iraqis as "they built free institutions and took charge of their own destiny once again." Balad, one of the largest U.S. bases in Iraq, is the main staging area for logistical operations. "I want you to know that we appreciate you and your comrades, that we never take you for granted, that we're inspired by the tremendous work you've done on this deployment," Cheney told the troops. "We've given you a lot of work to do and at often times a very small amount of time in which to do it." Last year's surge in combat troops has yielded results, he said, in more effective raids to flush out extremists, better intelligence from local citizens and higher hopes for the future. "(The) more that Iraqis have gotten to know Americans ... the better they've felt about the United States of America," Cheney said. -<>- >From BizarreNews: o8Oo./ ._o8o8o8Oo_. \========/ `------' hjw -- Frosted Flake gets bid of $1,175 on eBay ------- CHESAPEAKE, Va. - Bidding for a Frosted Flake in the shape of Illinois has reached $1,175 on eBay. As of Monday afternoon, the state-shaped cereal flake had received 46 bids, with the top bid $1,175, well above the top bid of $10.49 Friday. The Chesapeake, Va., resident who is selling is giving free shipping to anywhere in Illinois, the Rockford (Ill.) Register- Star reported. "It's uncanny resemblance is completely natural! This is a must-have item for any Illinois lover, collector of food look-alikes, or anyone who desires a unique conversation item!" the seller wrote on the flake's eBay page. The item reportedly is larger than typical Frosted Flakes, with a length of 2 inches and a width of 1 3/8 inches. "This is a great opportunity to own a frosted corn flake shaped like the great state of Illinois!" the seller wrote. -- Drunken nude man arrested for vandalism --------- LANCASTER, Pa. - A Pennsylvania man who allegedly vandalized two businesses while drunk and in the nude, is being held on on $200,000 bail, police said. Freeland resident Nicholas Hadzick, 30, was arrested for allegedly causing damages worth thousands at the Willow Valley Resort and the 24-hour Darrenkamp's Market in in West Lampeter Township near Lancaster, WHTM-TV, Harrisburg, Pa. reported. The suspect was totally naked and drunk at the time of the ransacking, police said. "He did quite a bit of damage to our store. Anything he could throw, he threw," Darrenkamp's manager Jeff Frymyer said. The suspect destroyed coolers, scales, deli tools and tipped a pizza oven during the spree, WHTM reported. Hadzick is faced with charges of risking a catastrophe, open lewdness and public drunkenness in the Friday night incident. -- Thief gets face full of ham --------------- GLOUCESTER, Maine - A Gloucester, Maine, restaurant owner said he fended off an attempted meat thief by slapping the suspect with a frozen ham. Joe Scola, owner of Scola's Place, said a waitress returning from her break alerted him to a man running down the street with frozen meat taken from the restaurant's cellar, the Gloucester Daily Times reported Monday. Scola said he caught up to the man, who appeared to be in his 30s, and saw he was carrying 20 pounds of frozen meat, including two bags of linguica, a prosciutto log and a ham. The owner reclaimed the ham but shoved it back toward the suspect's face when the thief made a gesture with the 5-pound prosciutto log that indicated he was planning to strike Scola, the restaurateur said. "I slammed him with the ham in the face," Scola told the Daily Times. He said his opponent dropped the remaining meat and ran off. Scola said the suspect told him during the struggle that he had taken the meat because he was hungry but the restaurant owner said the frozen meat would have taken days to thaw and prepare. Police haven't made any arrests in the case, the newspaper said. ========================================================== >-->From The Jokester: ............. |_C ` ~,~ /\_ ~~/(\ ( /| ~~~_____~~// ` _/ \-/ |===(=)===|(_|_ ((+))| |/\_ _/ \ -' / ejm98 >If Historical People Were Looking For A Job Today... * Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that. * Jesse James: I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and knowledge of security measures at numerous banks. * Marie Antoinette: My management style has been criticized, but I'd like to think of myself as a people person. * Joseph Guillotin: I can give your company a head start on the competition. * Hamlet: My position was eliminated in a hostile take- over. * Pandora: I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things. * Genghis Khan: My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries. * Macbeth: Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion? * Lady Godiva: What do you mean, this isn't "business casual"? * Elvis: My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries? -<>- ,~. ,-'__ `-, {,-' `. } ,') ,( a ) `-.__ ,',')~, <=.) ( `-.__,==' ' ' '} ( ) / `-'\ , ) | \ `~. / \ `._ \ / \ `._____,' / `-. ,' `-. ,-' `~~~~' //_|| __//--'/` hjw ,--'/` ' >Why did the chicken cross the road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that she must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. She has to get rid of that old baggage before trying out the new. This isn't my first 'rodeo'! I know chickens! OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. He doesn't have to not experience life on the other side just because he is a chicken of color. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. If the chicken insists on staying in the middle of the road he'll get run over. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine . . . all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... .#@ &&^(C%........ reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. BARACK OBAMA I didn't want this to be about color, but I can help the black chickens cross the road and make the white chickens see the errors of their ways. ============================================================== ,--. .--. / \. ./ \ / /\/ " \/\ \ / _/ /~~~v~~~\ \_ \ I'm an Easter Bunny / /####|####\ \ ; /\{#####|#####}/\ \ |_/ {#####|#####} \_: | {#####|#####} | | /{#####|#####}\ | | / {#####|#####} \ | | / {#####|#####} \ | | \ \#####|#####/ / | | \ \####|####/ / | \ \ \###|###/ / / \ / ~~~~~ \ / krr >-->Top Ten Signs You've Hired A Bad Easter Bunny 10. Shows up wearing the costume head and nothing else. 9. Reeks of tequila and Easter egg dye. 8. Immediately asks if he can have Easter off. 7. Refuses to hop because it aggravates his double hernia. 6. For an extra 20 bucks, parents can buy an ounce of his special "Easter grass". 5. Only gives the kids candy after they attend his presentation on the time-share condos. 4. Keeps muttering something about "infidels" and "jihad". 3. Costume is made from animal skin he scraped off the interstate. 2. Habitually licks and grooms himself. 1. The enormous ears? Steroids. [From Late Night with David Letterman] ============================================================ >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you can use the remote. 2) While I'm up, can I get you anything? 3) Let’s forget the Monday Night football and watch Love Story. 4) Here, let me hold your handbag while you try that on. 5) Why do we never talk anymore. Things you'll never hear a woman say: 1) What do you mean today's our anniversary? 2) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 3) Oh no, that diamond is way to big! 4) Don't bother stopping to ask for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there. 5) I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way too much for a designer outfit. -<>- >Teenagers - you gotta love em A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "dad" with the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: dear dad, it is with great regret and sorrow that i'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because i wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, dad - she's pregnant and barbara assures me that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than i am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need. In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for aids so that barbara can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry, dad, i'm 15 years old now and i know how to take care of myself. Someday i'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, john p.s. dad, none of this is true. I'm over at billy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk center drawer. I love you! P.s.s. call when it's safe for me to come home. -<>- Q. What does the "57" on Heinz 57 indicate? A. Not the number of varieties of ketchup. It is meant to reflect 57 varieties of food products in general. Today there about 1,300 varieties. ============================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: | ,|, ||| / | \ | | | | | | / | \ | | | | | \ / \ | | | | | | \ / | | 8 | | | ""8"" / | \ 8 / \ ,\ ,d8888888888888|========|="" | ,d" "88888888888| ,aa, | a | ,d" "888888888| 8 8 | 8 | ,d8888888b, "8888888| 8aa8 | 8,| ,d" "8888888b, "88888|========|="" | ,d" "8888888b, "888| a a | a | ,d" ,aa, "8888888b, "8| 8 8 | 8,| /| d" "b |""""""| |========|="" | | 8 8 | | | ,aa, | a | | 8aaaa8 | | | 8 8 | 8 | | | | | """" | ,,=| |aaaaaaaaaaaaaa|======""""""""""""""""" Normand Veilleux Moderator's note: Some of these came from Pastors. Some of the best came from Pastor's wives.-- kt. Things your pastor actually did or didn't do on vacation: Was incredibly blessed by the Holy Land trip he and his wife received as an anniversary gift from the congregation. Discovered he actually missed seeing some of his flock. Slept all night without any interruptions. Stayed at a place with no phones. Attended the Key Life "Pooped Pastors" conference to recharge his batteries. Realized some of his flock really could get through a week without him. Had a meaningful conversation with his wife without the cell phone or pager interrupting even once. Had a whole week without thinking, "What am I going to preach Sunday?" Got to visit another church, and sit during the whole service without saying a word. Went to sleep during the church service. Finally realized what the book of Job is about. Read a book that had nothing to do with ministry. Spent the whole week with his wife. Didn't go to the hospital once. Went fishing and didn't feel guilty. Took two naps each day, and felt great. Didn't want to go home. Didn't have to worry about what people thought of his Sunday sermon. Slept late on Sunday morning. Returned pumped up and ready to assault the gates of the enemy. ================================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >From TheMouth: GOLDEN AGE COMIC COVER GALLERY http://www.samuelsdesign.com/comics/ The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library http://www.angryalien.com/ Easter Fun! http://www.easterfun.com/ FILET-O-FISH GAME http://www.filetofish.com/ THE EINSTEIN QUIZ http://www.amfrontier.net/~bree/Einstein.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Belarc Advisor http://www.belarc.com/free_download.html Qwik & Easy HTML http://www.ptialaska.net/~melissag/htmlguide/coverpage-guide.html Searchable Lyrics Database - HotLyrics.net http://www.hotlyrics.net/ Doggie Zone http://www.lildachs.com/puppies.htm Kitty Korner http://www.evanmorris.com/kittens.html Smart Animals http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032911.htm Window Washer http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032912.htm Small Guy http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032913.htm Smile http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032914.htm Sneaky Water http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032915.htm Sports Bloopers http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032916.htm To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com ============================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Here's a sure sign spring is around the corner: Donald Trump evicted a family of robins out of his hair." - David Letterman "Starbucks has canceled its plans to sell a one-dollar cup of coffee. A company spokesman said, 'You'll still be able to get a one-dollar cup of coffee at Starbucks but it's going to cost you eight bucks'." - Conan O'Brien "In Los Angeles, a 500-pound man was arrested for stealing food from a restaurant. Police say it took five minutes to catch the suspect and two hours to pat him down." - Conan O'Brien "A new survey shows that beer drinkers prefer John McCain to Hillary Clinton. Which is surprising because you'd think Hillary would be more popular with guys who like a 'cold one'." - Conan O'Brien "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." - Bob Hope "A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done." - Dwight D. Eisenhower "Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own." - Sidney J. Harris "Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks." -John Maxwell "I have just two superstitions. One, don't call someone a bad name if they have a loaded pistol. Two, don't call your girl friend Tina if her name is Vivian." --Basketball player George Underwood Music should be something that makes you move inside and outside. Music is like religion. When you experience them both it should move you. -- Elvis ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSEE :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************