Choosing A Movie And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with another donation from one of our most faithful Shangrala Angels, Cloie from NH! This is her FOURTH month of stepping up to the plate to help Keep Shangrala Alive with a sweet donation! We sure do thank God for her and all our past wonderful angels! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our First too hot to handle new page is from our friends Linda and LouiseAu. It is one sure to tickle your funny bone with plenty of awwws mixed in. Check this one out here: _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ Comedy In Nature! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comedyinnature.html --- ...TeeHee! So cute! Thanks Ladies! Our next red hot new page is from our friends Bunni and LouiseAu. It will give you the trivia edge over your friends with some pretty stunning information on God's creation. Be sure to watch the awesome video here too! . . :"-. .-"; |:`.`.__..__.'.';| || :-" "-; || :; :; / .==. .==. \ : _.--._ ; ; .--.' `--' `.--. : : __;` ':__ ; ; ' '-._:;_.-' ' : It's A Fact Jack! '. `--' .' ."-._ _.-". .' ""------"" `. /`- -'\ /`- -'\ :`- .' `. -'; ; / \ : : : ; ; ; ; : : ':_:.' '.;_;' :_ _; ; "-._ -" :`-. _.._ :_ () _; "--::__. `. \"- -"/`._ : .-"-. -"-. ""--..____.' / .__ __. \ : / , / "" \ . \ ; bug "-:___..--" "--..___;-" Amazing Animal Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfacts.html --- ...Wow! Thanks Ladies. Some of these were so out there I had to look them up to make sure they were true! Just more of God's creation to awe us with! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband. Lady: I lost my Husband. Inspector: What is his height? Lady: I never noticed. Inspector: Slim or healthy? Lady: Not slim can be healthy. Inspector: Color of eyes? Lady: Never noticed. Inspector: Color of hair? Lady: Changes according to season. Inspector: What was he wearing? Lady: Suit... Casuals... I don't remember exactly. Inspector: Was somebody with him? Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together... And the lady started crying. Inspector: Let's search for the dog first! -<>- Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at the last Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here? Secretary: My lawyer. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 26 is Beautician's Day and Forgiveness Day June 27 is Sun Glasses Day June 28 is Insurance Awareness Day and Paul Bunyan Day June 29 Camera Day, Hug Holiday, International Mud Day, and Waffle Iron Day June 30 is Meteor Day July 1 is Canada Day / Dominion Day, Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day and International Joke Day July 2 is Build A Scarecrow Day, I Forgot Day and World UFO Day ======================================================== >-->From GoodCleanFun: ( ) ( ___...(-------)-....___ .-"" ) ( ""-. .-'``'|-._ ) _.-| / .--.| `""---...........---""` | / / | | | | | | \ \ | | `\ `\ | | `\ `| | _/ /\ / (__/ \ / _..---""` \ /`""---.._ .-' \ / '-. : `-.__ __.-' : : ) ""---...---"" ( : '._ `"--...___...--"` _.' jgs \""--..__ __..--""/ '._ """----.....______.....----""" _.' `""--..,,_____ _____,,..--""` `"""----"""` >Cup of Coffee Once while riding the bus to work, I noticed a man at a stop enjoying a cup of coffee. As we approached the stop, he finished drinking and set the cup on the ground. This negligence surprised me, since it seemed to be a good ceramic cup. Days later I saw the same man again drinking his coffee at the bus stop. Once again, he placed the cup on the grass before boarding. When the bus pulled away, I looked back in time to see a dog carefully carrying the cup in his mouth as he headed for home. -<>- >Abdominal Pain Early one morning, my husband, who works at a funeral home, woke me, complaining about severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Honey, he's not that sick!" -<>- >Audio Book After an enthusiastic recommendation from my wife, I began listening to the audio-book version of a novel. "I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed," I complained. "He refers to characters I don't know and introduces them a half hour later." My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered on, disoriented by the jumpy story line. It wasn't until the end of the book that my dilemma was explained: I had my iPod set on "Shuffle." -<>- >Poll Questions I frequently receive calls from pollsters asking me to participate in telephone surveys. One woman began with a barrage of questions. "Wait a moment," I interrupted. "Who are you and whom do you represent?" She told me and immediately continued asking questions. Interrupting her again, I asked, "What's the purpose of this survey?" "Sir" she replied irritable, "I don't have time to answer your questions." Then she hung up. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ,"=-. / _),`'". ( /a( ), ) ) C = = ?/ ( )) (_ o-< ) ( `-' \; ( \_ ( | \ ) )| \_/} \ \ \(_;/-|_) )/) `._,--/ / / `!__!! ( (_o)) ---`-._, )--- ------( / |---- | ( | :__/|\_; \ |/ )(\_ /_)--` gpyy \_! >My Mother Taught Me... 1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet!" 3. About TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. IRONY. "Keep it up and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. GENETICS. "You're just like your father!" 23. ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" -<>- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER... An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you lost with age And if you had a 3-1/2 floppy You hoped nobody found out! Compress was something you did to the garbage Not something you did to a file And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while! Log on was adding wood to the fire Hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a backup happened to your commode! Cut you did with a pocket knife Paste you did with glue A web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu! I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper And the memory in my head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash But when it happens, they wish they were dead! --- ...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) __________________________ _.-'____ ___ ___ ___ .' _..--| |/ |__ __| || | U| | | | || | \/ | || | | | | | || | / \ || | | | | | || | \ / || | | | | | 8] | | || | | | | | || | | \| | | ,----==-_--. | | | || | | | | | < \/\/ (_ | | | | || | | | /| | '----..----' | | || || | 0 | | || '==| || | | || || | | | \| | || | | || || | | | | | || | | || || | | | | | || | | || || | | | | .' || | | | | |\ | /| | | || || | | | | |/ | \| | | || || | | | | || | | | | o || || | | | | 8] | | | | || || |-._| | || _| | _ |___|\ || || '-._'-|_||___/ '----|_( )_| |__|| || '-._|-._____,-._________________-. || '-__________ _____,._______| '' "" Petrus >To Pee Or Not To Pee I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem). What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. So, here is my question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT----doing drugs while I work.. Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could call the program URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"! Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though. Something has to change in this country - AND SOON! --- ...HaHa! Equality at its best! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Judge Jeanine Decimates The Democrats “party of hate and destruction,” [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/ybswq9d8 More Leftist Loons: BREAKING: Another Major Celebrity Loses It And Calls For An “All Out War” Against President Trump http://tinyurl.com/yalkhrt3 TAKE THAT LIBERALS! Trump’s Genius Just Got Around Court’s Travel Ban Block To Help Protect America http://tinyurl.com/yct7c4r4 Democrats Behind The Dubious Intelligence Dossier That FBI Used to Justify Spying on Trump Associates http://tinyurl.com/ydfnrzhe BREAKING: LEAKER DOWN! Look Who The New Leaker Is That The Trump Administration Just Caught http://tinyurl.com/y8krg6xz TRAITOR? Debbie Wasserman Schultz Turns Against Party, Reveals OBAMA ADMIN Has Been LYING UNDER OATH http://tinyurl.com/y9gwt8ej WATCH: Sen. Grassley Rips Schumer To Pieces For Lying About Russia Investigation http://tinyurl.com/y7q5vvxr MEGAPHONE: Black Trump Supporter To Maxine Waters ‘You Have Destroyed the Black Community With Illegal Immigration!’ http://tinyurl.com/yabba7ht VIDEO: Amazing! Navy Pilot Made Daring Rescue Landing With Co-Pilot DANGLING From Cockpit http://tinyurl.com/ycuw2xns Neil Gorsuch Just Revealed Who He Really Is By Writing This Dissenting Opinion http://tinyurl.com/y8jgf6kb Refugees’ SICK Gratitude: Liberals Help Their New Muslim Neighbors Move In – TERRIFYING http://tinyurl.com/yc92xzrr MAGA! President Trump Ends Tradition Of Celebrating Ramadan In the White House http://tinyurl.com/y7th2wmz The Washington Establishment has rigged the federal government to launch an unparalleled witch hunt aimed at destroying President Trump. Don't believe it? Watch our latest ad for yourself, and if you're convinced, joined our calls to fire biased investigators. Watch, Listen And Sign http://landing.greatamericaalliance.com/impartial/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: A stolen toe used in cocktails returned to Canadian hotel with apology. A thief who stole a mummified toe used in a Canadian hotel's signature cocktail returned the bizarre ingredient and offered an apology. Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Yukon announced the "sour toe," used in the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City's "sourtoe cocktail," had been returned. "On Tuesday afternoon Dawson City RCMP received a phone call from the alleged suspect, stating that he had placed the toe in the mail, addressed to the Downtown Hotel," police said. "The man then called the Downtown Hotel and provided the same message to staff, along with a verbal apology." The sour toe was first reported missing on Sunday, when staff at the hotel's Sourdough Saloon said a man from Quebec with a French accent bragged about plans to steal the toe before it disappeared. Hotel manager Geri Coulbourn said the bar had back-up toes, but the one that was stolen had been cured in salt for six months after it was recently donated by a man who had it surgically removed. Police said the hotel received a package and RCMP Cpl. Jeff Myke was present to ensure it was safe to open. "Located inside the package was an apology letter, as well as the stolen toe," police said. "At the time that the package was opened, the toe was believed to be in good condition." No charges are expected to be filed in the case. The hotel's policy states anyone guilty for stealing a sour toe will be fined up to $2,500, but management previously stated the fine would be waived if the toe was returned safely. -<>- Police officers were shocked when a young boy pulled out a loaded gun from his toy box, according to police in Florida. Boynton Beach police said that they have arrested 34-year-old Rosalyn Faniel, after being accused of keeping a loaded gun within reach of her 3-year-old son. According to the criminal complaint, a neighbor called police to report that a man was selling drugs all night, and numerous drug addicts were going in and out of Faniel's apartment. Police officers who arrived at the scene, began questioning Faniel about the drug sales. She denied the allegations. At some point, Faniel's 3-year-old son dragged a toy box and pulled out a loaded gun in front of the police officers. One of the officers quickly grabbed the gun. Police then looked around the house, and found a scale and six small plastic bags containing Oxycodone on top of a refrigerator. Faniel said that she did not know how the gun and the drugs ended up in her apartment. She has been charged with one count of child neglect. *- Some People Take Their Nachos Very Seriously -* A customer angered over nachos at Roberto's Taco Shop in Las Vegas reportedly began stabbing employees, police said. Marcos Mendiola, 40, sits in a University Medical Center of Southern Nevada hospital bed, wondering how an argument over carne asada and chicken nacho toppings caused a vicious stabbing spree. Two of his coworkers had their arms slashed. The Roberto's Taco Shop cook took 14 stabs: seven to the stomach, four to the back, two to the head, and one to the arm. "He and two other employees were working at around 11:30 last night at the restaurant and that's when two young Hispanic men walked in demanding meat and chicken on their nachos," recalled Mendiola. "The cashier told them they could have one or the other but not both per company policy. The men then got angry and went into the kitchen." Mendiola says one of the men asked if he wanted to fight him. After the first suspect took a swing, another man came from behind and started stabbing Mendiola. A woman was also involved. Mendiola hopes the people who almost took his life are caught soon before they do this again. "They need to find them because it's not right for this to happen." *--------------- Holy guacamole! ---------------* It takes a lot of patience to steal $300,000 20 bucks at a time, but a trio of avocado factory workers (of all things) managed to do just that. The suspects, Joseph Valenzuela, 38, Carlos Chavez, 28, and Rahim Leblanc, 30, were employees of the Mission Produce ripening plant in Ventura County, CA. Investigators said they believe the suspects were stealing the avocados over the course of several months and selling them on the side for their own profit to unsuspecting customers. Company officials said the trio got the opportunity when they stopped permitting customers from picking up avocado orders, instead delivering them. But some customers continued to travel to the distribution center. The suspects sold the customers the avocados, but then pocketed the cash. Police said the trio sold the avocados, usually about $50 per box, for $20 to keep the unsuspecting customers from asking questions. Investigators believe they were responsible for thousands of illegal transactions. Eventually, it was one of those customers who alerted the company last month something seemed amiss. *----------- 2-Year-Old Saved by Cow -----------* A 2-year-old Massachusetts boy's fall out of a second story window may have been much scarier had the toddler not been clutching a large, stuffed cow, police said. The boy was jumping on his bed in Chelsea on Wednesday afternoon when he accidentally fell out of a window, the Boston Globe reported. The boy dropped about 16 feet onto concrete, but landed on the large, stuffed cow he was holding at the time. Chelsea's Deputy Fire Chief, John Quatieri, told the Globe that the boy "could easily have broken bones or been very seriously injured." The boy was hospitalized overnight, but only to keep him monitored, said Chelsea Police Chief Brian Kyes. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___ .-"""" ". / __'-. ; ..sssSSSS; ; ; ; '.' ..sssSSSSSS; ; """""""; ; ...ssssSSSSS; ; """"""; ; ; ; ....sssSS/ ; """/ ; .' ; .-""""-. '-.' _..ssS, .' "" _..sSs /__ "" _.sSS. .-"" `-. ___ ; _ /_..gg$$$pp'___`. .' `>. ,s$$$$$$$$$B;" `;""; .' ; :$$$$$$$$$$P"`._(): `-`_O.' :$$$$$$$$$P ' `-. $$$$$$$$$" _,,-. : ; $$$$$$$$!b.._g$$$$$$-. ; `. :$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P j\ :_.._/ T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P | : ; "T$$$$$$$$$$$$P"; ;_; : "^T$$$$$$P^"; : //: __! | | : ; `.: .mMMM: ) :_ ) '-. 'MMMP' fsc `.i_;I '-._i.' Choosing a movie? Try these extremely abbreviated plot explanations: - The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong. - The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. - Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge. - Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works. - The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet. -<>- I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.' When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. "Just where do you think you going?" she asked. "What do you mean?" I said. She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long." -<>- My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -<>- I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake; $99," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said. -<>- Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. - I don't have to go to school or work. - I get an allowance every month. - I have my own pad. - I don't have a curfew. - I have a driver's license and my own car. - I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store. - The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. - And I don't have acne. -<>- While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes. She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning. Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash. All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!" -<>- At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." -<>- Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH! Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH! ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: // __ ww_ ___./// W._`\._ o__ `._.-''''' // |/ \ `-._._._.-// |/ \ , / // _ \ `.__.' _// \ ``,,,' _// `v'\_`-. \--' _ `-. \--' .'`. .^.`.. \_/_/ <'\-_// \_/_/ `.,' .' `. '` // \\ `-.-' \\\\ '`_'` -'` -'` '' AsH ,,','` AsH ' ` >** Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** Why is it eggs that are laid in a hot chicken coop and lay in hot straw all day before being gathered, must be refrigerated to be kept fresh. Nothing seems expensive on credit. - Czech Proverb "Morale and attitude are the fundamental ingredients to success." ~~Bud Wilkinson "I took one of those aptitude tests when I was in high school. Based on my verbal skills, they recommended I become a mime." --Jay Trachman "I think people see themselves in me. People don't come to see me be me, they come to see me be them." --Dolly Parton "There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes." -- William John Bennett "Don't call me an American because I live in America-- Call me an American because America lives in me." -- ANON -<>- _____ / \ Hmmm...where did I see (____/\ ) that toilet roll? ...... |___ U?(____ _\L. | \ ___ / /"""\ /.-' | |\ | ( / _/u | \___|_)_| \| \\ / / \_(___ __) | \\ / / | | | | ) _/ / ) | | _\__/.-' /___( | | _/ __________/ \ | | // / ( ) | | ( \__|___\ \______ /__|____| \ (___\ |______)_/ \ |\ \ \ / \ | \__ ) )___/ \ \ )/ /__( ___ | /_//___| \_________ _/ ( / OUuuu \ `----'(____________) Michael Reeung >Conversations In A Restroom ** (Funny Again: An Andy Repeat) We were on our way home from visiting grandkids and had to stop at a rest stop on Highway 35 to use the restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a rest stop, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doing Just Fine!" And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. Can I come over to your place after while? Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!" Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye! -<>- ,;;. ;'.( )._/ .-'(`-')----,---,'< __ ,' _ `-' __/----'`' ,' `. ( ( \ ___ / / ;' ,--..__ `._;.)_(o( : : ,-'.__ , `-.._`;'____\ | | ( ,``-.._ , / , \ ; : `.,'`-._ , `-./ /,\ \--..__.-' \ \ ,-`-. /__(. )__\ ; -' _.::.. \ `.( `.`,'/ ;, `.\ |.:' : `. , `' /:.:.:.:.:\`.,:::' | `. ,`..; `' ''\ : `._ ` `. / - . \ `._ , `-- `. : \ `. ` ,' \ `._ ) \ `-.__`. , ` \ ``---.._ ' \ \ \ SSt >The Man I Want ** (by Ruth Bell) This is a poem written by a teenage girl looking for a husband. It was written as a prayer, and this is what she said: Dear God, I pray all unafraid As girls are wont to be I do not want a handsome man But make him, Lord, like Thee. I do not need one big and strong nor yet so very tall, Nor need he be some genius or wealthy, Lord, at all; But let his head be high, dear God, and let his eye be clear, His shoulders straight, whate'er his fate whate'er his earthly sphere. And let his face have character, a ruggedness of soul, And let his whole life show, dear God, a singleness of goal. And when he comes as he will come With quiet eyes aglow I'll know, dear Lord, That he's the man I prayed for long ago. That girl's name was Ruth Bell, and she later met and married Billy Graham. ~~[Source: The Timothy Report, Copyright (c) 2002 Swan Lake Communications] -<>- ________ / ______ \ || _ _ || ||| || ||| |||_||_||| || _ _o|| (o) ||| || ||| |||_||_||| ^~^ , ||______|| ('Y') ) /__________\ / \/ ________|__________|__ (\|||/) _________ hjw /____________\ `97 |____________| >Door to Door Visitation ** Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result -- the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat." -<>- >The Hospital Vote ** Recently, when a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, this is what happened.... ** The allergists voted to scratch it. ** The dermatologists preferred no rash moves. ** The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it. ** The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. ** The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception. ** The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted. ** The pathologists yelled, "over my dead body!" ** The pediatricians said, "grow up." ** The proctologists said, "we are in arrears." ** The psychiatrists thought it was madness. ** The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. ** The radiologists could see right through it. ** The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow. ** The plastic surgeons said, "this puts a whole new face on the matter." ** The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward. ** The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. ** The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas. ** And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. -<>- >Lesson In Logic ** A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?" -<>- >Audited By The IRS ** The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them. Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle." "Why would you say that?" wondered the broker. "Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career..." -<>- >Playing By the Numbers ** The coach for the little league team had not yet learned the names of all the players, so he called them by the numbers on their uniforms. He yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," and Jeff came to the plate to hit. He yelled, "Number 7," and Steve jumped up. Then he yelled, "Number 1," but no one got up. Again he called out, "Number 1." Still no one emerged from the dugout. The umpire was getting annoyed at the delay, so the coach yelled out, "Who's number 1?" The entire team responded, "We are, coach. We are!" -<>- >Government Office Rules ** 1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. 7) If it's handwritten, type it. 8) If it's typed, copy it. 9) If it's copied, file it. 10) If it's Friday, forget it! -<>- >REAL PASTOR'S BLOOPERS ** 1) A prominent lawyer who happened to be a member of our church was called on by the preacher to offer a prayer before the service. As the attorney started on a special plea, he began, "Your Honor," instead of "Dear God." Actually, it sounded sort of appropriate. 2) I was trying to make a point that lack of communication is the major cause of divorce, but somehow things got mixed up and I said "marriage is the main cause of divorce." It took a couple of minutes of giggling from the congregation before I realized my mistake. 3) During a Confirmation service, referring to the new converts, the pastor asked the 5 new "convicts" to come to the front of the church. He never knew what he said, but several people had to leave the building because they were laughing so hard. 4) While studying the intricate dress of the priests in the Old Testament, the preacher came to the part that describes how the priests put bells on the bottom of their robes. He asked, "Why do you suppose the priests had to tinkle." After a second of silence, the class broke up with laughter. Source: Sermon Fodder, http://www.sermonfodder.com -<>- ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm >Rules For Entering Texas ** The following list of rules apply to each person as they enter Texas: ** Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. Let's get this straight. ** We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. ** It's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. ** They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one. ** So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year. ** So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. ** Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my huntin' camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen. ** We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi, too. We got over it. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. ** Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait. ** Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. ** The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. ** Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women. ** Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. Our women are some of the best looking in the country. ** We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age! ** No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. ** When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco Sauce! ** You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it! ** You bring "Hooch" into my house it better have 4 legs, a tail, and have a nose for quail, dove, duck, teal, or pheasant. ** You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. ** Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon. ** That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A. ** High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. ** Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards- it spooks the fish. ** Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outa there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays. ** We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best! ** Our Military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course. ** Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas." ~~Enjoy your stay... ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Proud Of Our Troops! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops8.html Rules For US Citizens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rules.html Texas Rules Of Etiquette! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.html Craig Alan's People Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peopleart.html Who Is WE? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoiswe.html Witty Comebacks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html WWII P-51 Mustang Pilot! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wwiipilot.html Feather Painting! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather.html Best Pillows! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pillows.html Elephant Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant4.html Giant Catfish! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcfish.html Newsworthy Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals.html Walmart Parking! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html Humor With Buses! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bushumor.html Chinese Walmart! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html Extreme BBQ's! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extremebbqs.html Salute To Texas! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salutetexas.html US Troops INDEX http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html -<>- >Please Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/y9386nnn -<>- >From StudentsForLife: On Thursday the U.S. Senate released its version of the ObamaCare repeal and replacement bill. Things are certainly moving quickly in Washington, but our team waded through the legislation and put together a video update explaining key provisions important to pro-lifers. http://tinyurl.com/ya62447u -<>- >From Our Friend Victor :) Ohio restores websites hacked with pro-Islamic State rant http://tinyurl.com/yb7qd4yy --- ...Wow! Crazy! We need to do more with our cyber security! Thanks Son! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Recently a new bill was introduced on the floor of the US Senate entitled, pleasantly, “Combating Money Laundering, Terrorist Financing, and Counterfeiting Act of 2017.” You can probably already guess its contents. https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/senate-bill/1241/text --- ...Interesting - but its all Greek to me! Thanks Geniann! I think I don't have to worry about this as I don't have enough money to be under investigation for anything. -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Some photos are more powerful in black and white while others come to life when they are in color. In today's world of digital cameras we can take as many photos as we'd like without having to worry about the cost of film. I think that's a good thing for those of us that aren't professionals but still like to take photos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVheFmgQ5XY An interesting look at various historical photos that have been colorized from the original black and white photo. The series of photos begins in the 1850's and proceeds through the Civil War and late 1800's into the 20th Century where the reality of how many years were spent in war hits home. The photos conclude with one from 1982 of Pope John Paul II demonstrating the meaning of forgiveness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grx3mmreXpA An interesting look at some historical photos that have been colorized from the original black and white photo. The series of photos begins in the 1850's and proceeds through the Civil War and late 1800's into the 20th Century. Adding color to these old photos really brings them to life and gives the viewer a different perspective than the black and white photo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dov50PAsj5M --- ...Absolutely amazing! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "There's a new report that says more than half of American workers didn't use all their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn't take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family." -Jimmy Kimmel "The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies." -Conan O'Brien "According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived." -Seth Meyers "A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat." -Conan O'Brien "A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese- flavored martini. Or as parents put it, 'Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble using regular silverware." -Seth Meyers "Father's Day cards fit into four major categories: golf, fishing, barbecue, beer. And beer. And beer. And beer. What kind of message is this? 'Dad, you are a potbellied drunk and we're sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the lawn.' We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need to change, or we do." -Jimmy Kimmel "Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made from carrots. It's the best thing that's ever happened to rabbit bachelorette parties." -Seth Meyers "More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30." -Jimmy Fallon "A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order." -Conan O'Brien "Summer officially begins tonight. So if you're wondering why your kids stopped going to school, that's probably the reason." -Jimmy Kimmel "A company has developed a smart duvet, which can control a person's body temperature. The way it works is, when you get hot you kick it off." -Seth Meyers >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************