Choosing A Movie And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->OoooWEeeee!!
oo
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.8 .-._/|
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-- ''-- --- VK/ejm
I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala
has been blessed with another donation from one of our
most faithful Shangrala Angels, Cloie from NH!
This is her FOURTH month of stepping up to the plate to
help Keep Shangrala Alive with a sweet donation! We sure
do thank God for her and all our past wonderful angels!
If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala
Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button.
A Secure PAYPAL page comes up.
NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item'
form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is
you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your
normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United
States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like.
EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP!
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html
OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
Van Wert, OH 45891
*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT!
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
AND For Facebook Users:
Please Friend Me / Like Me here...
http://tinyurl.com/cma6all
AND For Google Plus Users:
You can find me here... Shangy Bigham
https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts
AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family!
^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
Our First too hot to handle new page is from our friends
Linda and LouiseAu. It is one sure to tickle your funny
bone with plenty of awwws mixed in. Check this one out here:
_.---,_
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Comedy In Nature!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comedyinnature.html
---
...TeeHee! So cute! Thanks Ladies!
Our next red hot new page is from our friends Bunni and
LouiseAu. It will give you the trivia edge over your friends
with some pretty stunning information on God's creation.
Be sure to watch the awesome video here too!
. .
:"-. .-";
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Amazing Animal Facts!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfacts.html
---
...Wow! Thanks Ladies. Some of these were so out there I
had to look them up to make sure they were true! Just more
of God's creation to awe us with!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
________________
'------._.------'\
\_______________\
.'| .'|
.'_____________.' .|
| | |
| Scooby _.-. | . |
| * (_.-' | |
| Snacks | .|
| * * | .'
|______________|.' LGB
A lady went to the police station to file a report for her
missing Husband.
Lady: I lost my Husband.
Inspector: What is his height?
Lady: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Lady: Not slim can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Lady: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Lady: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was he wearing?
Lady: Suit... Casuals... I don't remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with him?
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height
30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot
thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden
belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat
together, we jog together...
And the lady started crying.
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!
-<>-
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at the last
Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
June 26 is Beautician's Day and Forgiveness Day
June 27 is Sun Glasses Day
June 28 is Insurance Awareness Day and Paul Bunyan Day
June 29 Camera Day, Hug Holiday, International Mud Day, and
Waffle Iron Day
June 30 is Meteor Day
July 1 is Canada Day / Dominion Day, Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day
and International Joke Day
July 2 is Build A Scarecrow Day, I Forgot Day and World UFO Day
========================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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>Cup of Coffee
Once while riding the bus to work, I noticed a man at a stop enjoying
a cup of coffee. As we approached the stop, he finished drinking and
set the cup on the ground. This negligence surprised me, since it
seemed to be a good ceramic cup.
Days later I saw the same man again drinking his coffee at the bus
stop. Once again, he placed the cup on the grass before boarding.
When the bus pulled away, I looked back in time to see a dog
carefully carrying the cup in his mouth as he headed for home.
-<>-
>Abdominal Pain
Early one morning, my husband, who works at a funeral home, woke me,
complaining about severe abdominal pains.
We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to
determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me
call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong.
When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our
suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my
husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?"
With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Honey,
he's not that sick!"
-<>-
>Audio Book
After an enthusiastic recommendation from my wife, I began listening
to the audio-book version of a novel.
"I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed," I complained.
"He refers to characters I don't know and introduces them a half
hour later."
My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered on, disoriented by
the jumpy story line. It wasn't until the end of the book that my
dilemma was explained: I had my iPod set on "Shuffle."
-<>-
>Poll Questions
I frequently receive calls from pollsters asking me to participate
in telephone surveys.
One woman began with a barrage of questions.
"Wait a moment," I interrupted. "Who are you and whom do you
represent?"
She told me and immediately continued asking questions.
Interrupting her again, I asked, "What's the purpose of this
survey?"
"Sir" she replied irritable, "I don't have time to answer your
questions."
Then she hung up.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
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>My Mother Taught Me...
1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each
other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"
3. About TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."
7. IRONY. "Keep it up and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of
your neck!"
10. STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."
12. HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take
you out."
14. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they
are going to freeze that way."
19. ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"
20. HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."
21. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."
22. GENETICS. "You're just like your father!"
23. ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"
24. WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
-<>-
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>LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER...
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
And if you had a 3-1/2 floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they wish they were dead!
---
...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
__________________________
_.-'____ ___ ___ ___ .'
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| | | || | \/ | || | |
| | | || | / \ || | |
| | | || | \ / || | |
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""
Petrus
>To Pee Or Not To Pee
I have a job.
I work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.
In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a
random urine test (with which I have no problem).
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to
people who don't have to pass a urine test.
So, here is my question:
Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check
because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back
on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone
sitting on their BUTT----doing drugs while I work..
Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people
had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?
I guess we could call the program URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!
Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't.
Hope you all will pass it along, though.
Something has to change in this country - AND SOON!
---
...HaHa! Equality at its best! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Judge Jeanine Decimates The Democrats “party of hate and
destruction,” [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/ybswq9d8
More Leftist Loons: BREAKING: Another Major Celebrity Loses It
And Calls For An “All Out War” Against President Trump
http://tinyurl.com/yalkhrt3
TAKE THAT LIBERALS! Trump’s Genius Just Got Around Court’s Travel
Ban Block To Help Protect America
http://tinyurl.com/yct7c4r4
Democrats Behind The Dubious Intelligence Dossier That FBI Used
to Justify Spying on Trump Associates
http://tinyurl.com/ydfnrzhe
BREAKING: LEAKER DOWN! Look Who The New Leaker Is That The Trump
Administration Just Caught
http://tinyurl.com/y8krg6xz
TRAITOR? Debbie Wasserman Schultz Turns Against Party, Reveals
OBAMA ADMIN Has Been LYING UNDER OATH
http://tinyurl.com/y9gwt8ej
WATCH: Sen. Grassley Rips Schumer To Pieces For Lying About Russia
Investigation
http://tinyurl.com/y7q5vvxr
MEGAPHONE: Black Trump Supporter To Maxine Waters ‘You Have
Destroyed the Black Community With Illegal Immigration!’
http://tinyurl.com/yabba7ht
VIDEO: Amazing! Navy Pilot Made Daring Rescue Landing With
Co-Pilot DANGLING From Cockpit
http://tinyurl.com/ycuw2xns
Neil Gorsuch Just Revealed Who He Really Is By Writing This
Dissenting Opinion
http://tinyurl.com/y8jgf6kb
Refugees’ SICK Gratitude: Liberals Help Their New Muslim Neighbors
Move In – TERRIFYING
http://tinyurl.com/yc92xzrr
MAGA! President Trump Ends Tradition Of Celebrating Ramadan In the
White House
http://tinyurl.com/y7th2wmz
The Washington Establishment has rigged the federal government to
launch an unparalleled witch hunt aimed at destroying President
Trump. Don't believe it? Watch our latest ad for yourself, and if
you're convinced, joined our calls to fire biased investigators.
Watch, Listen And Sign
http://landing.greatamericaalliance.com/impartial/
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A stolen toe used in cocktails returned to Canadian hotel with
apology.
A thief who stole a mummified toe used in a Canadian hotel's
signature cocktail returned the bizarre ingredient and offered
an apology.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Yukon announced the "sour toe,"
used in the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City's "sourtoe cocktail,"
had been returned.
"On Tuesday afternoon Dawson City RCMP received a phone call from
the alleged suspect, stating that he had placed the toe in the
mail, addressed to the Downtown Hotel," police said. "The man
then called the Downtown Hotel and provided the same message to
staff, along with a verbal apology."
The sour toe was first reported missing on Sunday, when staff at
the hotel's Sourdough Saloon said a man from Quebec with a French
accent bragged about plans to steal the toe before it disappeared.
Hotel manager Geri Coulbourn said the bar had back-up toes, but
the one that was stolen had been cured in salt for six months
after it was recently donated by a man who had it surgically
removed.
Police said the hotel received a package and RCMP Cpl. Jeff Myke
was present to ensure it was safe to open.
"Located inside the package was an apology letter, as well as the
stolen toe," police said. "At the time that the package was opened,
the toe was believed to be in good condition."
No charges are expected to be filed in the case. The hotel's policy
states anyone guilty for stealing a sour toe will be fined up to
$2,500, but management previously stated the fine would be waived
if the toe was returned safely.
-<>-
Police officers were shocked when a young boy pulled out a loaded
gun from his toy box, according to police in Florida.
Boynton Beach police said that they have arrested 34-year-old
Rosalyn Faniel, after being accused of keeping a loaded gun
within reach of her 3-year-old son.
According to the criminal complaint, a neighbor called police to
report that a man was selling drugs all night, and numerous drug
addicts were going in and out of Faniel's apartment.
Police officers who arrived at the scene, began questioning
Faniel about the drug sales. She denied the allegations.
At some point, Faniel's 3-year-old son dragged a toy box and
pulled out a loaded gun in front of the police officers. One of
the officers quickly grabbed the gun.
Police then looked around the house, and found a scale and six
small plastic bags containing Oxycodone on top of a refrigerator.
Faniel said that she did not know how the gun and the drugs ended
up in her apartment.
She has been charged with one count of child neglect.
*- Some People Take Their Nachos Very Seriously -*
A customer angered over nachos at Roberto's Taco Shop
in Las Vegas reportedly began stabbing employees, police
said. Marcos Mendiola, 40, sits in a University Medical
Center of Southern Nevada hospital bed, wondering how
an argument over carne asada and chicken nacho toppings
caused a vicious stabbing spree. Two of his coworkers had
their arms slashed. The Roberto's Taco Shop cook took 14
stabs: seven to the stomach, four to the back, two to the
head, and one to the arm. "He and two other employees were
working at around 11:30 last night at the restaurant and
that's when two young Hispanic men walked in demanding
meat and chicken on their nachos," recalled Mendiola. "The
cashier told them they could have one or the other but not
both per company policy. The men then got angry and went
into the kitchen." Mendiola says one of the men asked if he
wanted to fight him. After the first suspect took a swing,
another man came from behind and started stabbing Mendiola.
A woman was also involved. Mendiola hopes the people who
almost took his life are caught soon before they do this
again. "They need to find them because it's not right for
this to happen."
*--------------- Holy guacamole! ---------------*
It takes a lot of patience to steal $300,000 20 bucks at
a time, but a trio of avocado factory workers (of all
things) managed to do just that. The suspects, Joseph
Valenzuela, 38, Carlos Chavez, 28, and Rahim Leblanc, 30,
were employees of the Mission Produce ripening plant in
Ventura County, CA. Investigators said they believe the
suspects were stealing the avocados over the course of
several months and selling them on the side for their own
profit to unsuspecting customers. Company officials said
the trio got the opportunity when they stopped permitting
customers from picking up avocado orders, instead delivering
them. But some customers continued to travel to the
distribution center. The suspects sold the customers the
avocados, but then pocketed the cash. Police said the trio
sold the avocados, usually about $50 per box, for $20 to keep
the unsuspecting customers from asking questions. Investigators
believe they were responsible for thousands of illegal
transactions. Eventually, it was one of those customers who
alerted the company last month something seemed amiss.
*----------- 2-Year-Old Saved by Cow -----------*
A 2-year-old Massachusetts boy's fall out of a second story
window may have been much scarier had the toddler not been
clutching a large, stuffed cow, police said. The boy was
jumping on his bed in Chelsea on Wednesday afternoon when he
accidentally fell out of a window, the Boston Globe reported.
The boy dropped about 16 feet onto concrete, but landed on
the large, stuffed cow he was holding at the time. Chelsea's
Deputy Fire Chief, John Quatieri, told the Globe that the boy
"could easily have broken bones or been very seriously injured."
The boy was hospitalized overnight, but only to keep him
monitored, said Chelsea Police Chief Brian Kyes.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
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Choosing a movie? Try these extremely abbreviated plot
explanations:
- The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very
wrong.
- The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning
jewelry.
- Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
- Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
- The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
-<>-
I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So
when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know
how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20
years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a
card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.'
When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.
"Just where do you think you going?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" I said.
She read the card aloud as the florist had written it:
"Thanks for putting up with me. So long."
-<>-
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to
lose some pounds she had put on recently.
"Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can
be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the
urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you
first."
"Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you."
-<>-
I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver
for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices.
"Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied.
"And what about Salt Lake City?"
"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake; $99," she said.
"But there is a stopover."
"Where?"
"In Denver," she said.
-<>-
Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything
that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.
-<>-
While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young
mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes.
She was talking with another mom about an incident that
happened earlier that morning.
Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's
eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her
arms and her child on a leash.
All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!"
-<>-
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the
anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their
operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at
the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he
said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it
used to be?"
"Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
-<>-
Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a
box that was left on the loading dock with this warning
printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH!
Management was called and all employees were told to stay
clear of the box until it could be analyzed.
When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety
glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside
were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH!
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
// __
ww_ ___./// W._`\._
o__ `._.-''''' // |/ \ `-._._._.-//
|/ \ , / // _ \ `.__.' _//
\ ``,,,' _// `v'\_`-. \--' _
`-. \--' .'`. .^.`.. \_/_/ <'\-_//
\_/_/ `.,' .' `. '` // \\ `-.-'
\\\\ '`_'` -'` -'` '' AsH
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>** Andy Says... Just Think About This! **
Why is it eggs that are laid in a hot chicken coop and
lay in hot straw all day before being gathered, must be
refrigerated to be kept fresh.
Nothing seems expensive on credit. - Czech Proverb
"Morale and attitude are the fundamental ingredients to
success." ~~Bud Wilkinson
"I took one of those aptitude tests when I was in high school.
Based on my verbal skills, they recommended I become a mime."
--Jay Trachman
"I think people see themselves in me. People don't come to see
me be me, they come to see me be them." --Dolly Parton
"There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes."
-- William John Bennett
"Don't call me an American because I live in America--
Call me an American because America lives in me."
-- ANON
-<>-
_____
/ \
Hmmm...where did I see (____/\ )
that toilet roll? ...... |___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __)
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/
\ \ )/ /__(
___ | /_//___| \_________
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________)
Michael Reeung
>Conversations In A Restroom ** (Funny Again: An Andy Repeat)
We were on our way home from visiting grandkids and
had to stop at a rest stop on Highway 35 to use the
restroom.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice
from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's
restrooms at a rest stop, but I don't know what got into
me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doing Just Fine!"
And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this
is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"
At this point I am just trying to get out
as fast as I can when I hear another question.
Can I come over to your place after while?
Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured
I could just be polite and end the conversation.
I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously...
"LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back,
there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps
answering all my questions, bye!
-<>-
,;;.
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\ ,-`-. /__(. )__\ ; -' _.::.. \
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\ SSt
>The Man I Want ** (by Ruth Bell)
This is a poem written by a teenage girl looking for a husband.
It was written as a prayer, and this is what she said:
Dear God, I pray all unafraid
As girls are wont to be
I do not want a handsome man
But make him, Lord, like Thee.
I do not need one big and strong
nor yet so very tall,
Nor need he be some genius
or wealthy, Lord, at all;
But let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eye be clear,
His shoulders straight, whate'er his fate
whate'er his earthly sphere.
And let his face have character,
a ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show, dear God,
a singleness of goal.
And when he comes as he will come
With quiet eyes aglow
I'll know, dear Lord, That he's the man
I prayed for long ago.
That girl's name was Ruth Bell, and she later met and
married Billy Graham.
~~[Source: The Timothy Report, Copyright (c) 2002 Swan Lake
Communications]
-<>-
________
/ ______ \
|| _ _ ||
||| || |||
|||_||_|||
|| _ _o|| (o)
||| || |||
|||_||_||| ^~^ ,
||______|| ('Y') )
/__________\ / \/
________|__________|__ (\|||/) _________
hjw /____________\
`97 |____________|
>Door to Door Visitation **
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door
of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no
uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and
slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact,
bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it,
and slammed the door again with the same result -- the door bounced
back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the
door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a
lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you
need to move your cat."
-<>-
>The Hospital Vote **
Recently, when a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new
wing to their hospital, this is what happened....
** The allergists voted to scratch it.
** The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
** The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
** The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
** The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.
** The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
** The pathologists yelled, "over my dead body!"
** The pediatricians said, "grow up."
** The proctologists said, "we are in arrears."
** The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
** The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
** The radiologists could see right through it.
** The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
** The plastic surgeons said, "this puts a whole new face on the
matter."
** The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
** The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
** The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
** And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
-<>-
>Lesson In Logic **
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat
in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in,
and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the
commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do
you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
-<>-
>Audited By The IRS **
The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being
audited.
He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial
records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored
over them.
Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a
tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
"Why would you say that?" wondered the broker.
"Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three
returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career..."
-<>-
>Playing By the Numbers **
The coach for the little league team had not yet learned the names
of all the players, so he called them by the numbers on their
uniforms.
He yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," and Jeff came to the plate
to hit. He yelled, "Number 7," and Steve jumped up. Then he yelled,
"Number 1," but no one got up.
Again he called out, "Number 1." Still no one emerged from the
dugout.
The umpire was getting annoyed at the delay, so the coach yelled
out, "Who's number 1?"
The entire team responded, "We are, coach. We are!"
-<>-
>Government Office Rules **
1) If it rings, put it on hold.
2) If it clanks, call the repairman.
3) If it whistles, ignore it.
4) If it's a friend, take a break.
5) If it's the boss, look busy.
6) If it talks, take notes.
7) If it's handwritten, type it.
8) If it's typed, copy it.
9) If it's copied, file it.
10) If it's Friday, forget it!
-<>-
>REAL PASTOR'S BLOOPERS **
1) A prominent lawyer who happened to be a member of our church was
called on by the preacher to offer a prayer before the service. As
the attorney started on a special plea, he began, "Your Honor,"
instead of "Dear God." Actually, it sounded sort of appropriate.
2) I was trying to make a point that lack of communication is the
major cause of divorce, but somehow things got mixed up and I said
"marriage is the main cause of divorce." It took a couple of
minutes of giggling from the congregation before I realized my
mistake.
3) During a Confirmation service, referring to the new converts, the
pastor asked the 5 new "convicts" to come to the front of the church.
He never knew what he said, but several people had to leave the
building because they were laughing so hard.
4) While studying the intricate dress of the priests in the Old
Testament, the preacher came to the part that describes how the
priests put bells on the bottom of their robes. He asked, "Why do
you suppose the priests had to tinkle." After a second of silence,
the class broke up with laughter.
Source: Sermon Fodder, http://www.sermonfodder.com
-<>-
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Storm
>Rules For Entering Texas **
The following list of rules apply to each person as they enter
Texas:
** Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. Let's get
this straight.
** We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red.
We may even stop when it's yellow.
** It's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I
need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on
your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
** They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like
it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south.
Pick one.
** So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive
three weeks a year.
** So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
** Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer
Limited Edition to my huntin' camp and expect to leave clean on
Sunday. It won't happen.
** We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years
old. Yeah, we saw Bambi, too. We got over it. If that cell phone
rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we will shoot it out
of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at
the time.
** Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us
if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that
little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.
** Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi
and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
** The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.
** Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will
get you jack-slapped, by our women.
** Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.
Our women are some of the best looking in the country.
** We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of
age!
** No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
two pounds of ham and turkey.
** When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and
Tabasco Sauce!
** You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served
over ice, and plenty of it!
** You bring "Hooch" into my house it better have 4 legs, a tail,
and have a nose for quail, dove, duck, teal, or pheasant.
** You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
** Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets
of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
** That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for
what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston,
Chicago, or L.A.
** High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
** Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards- it
spooks the fish.
** Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outa there with an
education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at
passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
** We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other
state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt
kicked by the best!
** Our Military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man,
woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA
Certified Shooter Education Course.
** Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can
make it without the United States, but the United States can't make
it without Texas." ~~Enjoy your stay...
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Proud Of Our Troops!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops8.html
Rules For US Citizens!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rules.html
Texas Rules Of Etiquette!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.html
Craig Alan's People Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peopleart.html
Who Is WE?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoiswe.html
Witty Comebacks!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html
WWII P-51 Mustang Pilot!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wwiipilot.html
Feather Painting!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather.html
Best Pillows!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pillows.html
Elephant Rescue!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant4.html
Giant Catfish!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcfish.html
Newsworthy Animals!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals.html
Walmart Parking!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html
Humor With Buses!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bushumor.html
Chinese Walmart!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html
Extreme BBQ's!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extremebbqs.html
Salute To Texas!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salutetexas.html
US Troops INDEX
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html
-<>-
>Please Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon:
http://tinyurl.com/y9386nnn
-<>-
>From StudentsForLife:
On Thursday the U.S. Senate released its version of the ObamaCare
repeal and replacement bill.
Things are certainly moving quickly in Washington, but our team waded
through the legislation and put together a video update explaining
key provisions important to pro-lifers.
http://tinyurl.com/ya62447u
-<>-
>From Our Friend Victor :)
Ohio restores websites hacked with pro-Islamic State rant
http://tinyurl.com/yb7qd4yy
---
...Wow! Crazy! We need to do more with our cyber security! Thanks Son!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
Recently a new bill was introduced on the floor of the US Senate
entitled, pleasantly,
“Combating Money Laundering, Terrorist Financing, and Counterfeiting
Act of 2017.”
You can probably already guess its contents.
https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/senate-bill/1241/text
---
...Interesting - but its all Greek to me! Thanks Geniann!
I think I don't have to worry about this as I don't have enough
money to be under investigation for anything.
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
Some photos are more powerful in black and white while others come to
life when they are in color. In today's world of digital cameras we
can take as many photos as we'd like without having to worry about
the cost of film. I think that's a good thing for those of us that
aren't professionals but still like to take photos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVheFmgQ5XY
An interesting look at various historical photos that have been
colorized from the original black and white photo. The series of
photos begins in the 1850's and proceeds through the Civil War and
late 1800's into the 20th Century where the reality of how many
years were spent in war hits home. The photos conclude with one
from 1982 of Pope John Paul II demonstrating the meaning of
forgiveness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grx3mmreXpA
An interesting look at some historical photos that have been
colorized from the original black and white photo. The series of
photos begins in the 1850's and proceeds through the Civil War and
late 1800's into the 20th Century. Adding color to these old photos
really brings them to life and gives the viewer a different
perspective than the black and white photo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dov50PAsj5M
---
...Absolutely amazing! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"There's a new report that says more than half of American
workers didn't use all their vacation days last year. They
had them, they just didn't take them. So the people who did
the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their
boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family."
-Jimmy Kimmel
"The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA
has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three
Nicolas Cage movies." -Conan O'Brien
"According to a new study, the recommendation that people
need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we
figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of
water and still survived." -Seth Meyers
"A new study says that children are suffering bad health
effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained
in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat."
-Conan O'Brien
"A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-
flavored martini. Or as parents put it, 'Finally, a way to
get my kids to finish their martinis.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had
teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped
it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex
evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble
using regular silverware." -Seth Meyers
"Father's Day cards fit into four major categories: golf,
fishing, barbecue, beer. And beer. And beer. And beer. What
kind of message is this? 'Dad, you are a potbellied drunk
and we're sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the
lawn.' We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need
to change, or we do." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made
from carrots. It's the best thing that's ever happened to
rabbit bachelorette parties." -Seth Meyers
"More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings
and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to
a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning
30." -Jimmy Fallon
"A study has confirmed that eating less increases your
lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of
Wisconsin to get their affairs in order." -Conan O'Brien
"Summer officially begins tonight. So if you're wondering
why your kids stopped going to school, that's probably the
reason." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A company has developed a smart duvet, which can control
a person's body temperature. The way it works is, when you
get hot you kick it off." -Seth Meyers
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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