Christmas In July And More.... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) .-'''''-. |'-----'| /`-.....-`\ | <_} | | .-\-. | _,._ | /# ` \ | __.-` `"""-. | \ / | ..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' / (` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'` '-----------' ( ) jgs `-------------` Our friend Norma sent us a recipe she calls Saturday Night Special or for whenever. I put it here under the Meals and Breads Category and called it... Baked Beans W/Bacon By Norma http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html --- ...Looks like one my brother and son would really like - they love baked beans! Thank You Norma! -<>- Our first scorching hot new page is from our friends Linda and LouiseAu. We certainly do love our pets and pet owners will be able to confirm these hilarious depictions of our beloved pets and their obsession with food. Sure to give you plenty of smiles and tickle your funny bone! ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB Pets And Food! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petsandfood.html --- ...TeeHee! So cute! Plenty of giggles! Thanks Ladies! Our next too hot to handle new page is from our friends Geniann and Linda. It too is full of plenty of rib tickling smiles. After watching the news, though, I added an informative video. Be sure to check out these humorous photos of our 4 legged guardians here: () /\ ()--' '--() `. .' / .. \ jgs ()' '() Police Dogs 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/policedogs2.html --- ...HaHa! So funny and heartwarming! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _ |\_,,____ ( o__o \/ /(..) \ (_ )--( _) / ""--"" \ ,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,== |d | WW | WW | |s | | | | | Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: "I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal." "Well", replied the other farmer, "I'm not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you'd give me one?" "Of course," says the first. The second farmer continued: "And if you had two cars, you'd give me one of them too?" "Absolutely." "So," says the second farmer, "if you had two pigs then you'd give me one of them?" "Ah, now hang on a minute," says the first, "you know I've got two pigs!" -<>- A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl, "Do you like potato pancakes?" She says, "No" and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says, "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 10 is Teddy Bear Picnic Day July 11 is Cheer up the Lonely Day, National Blueberry Muffins Day and World Population Day July 12 is Different Colored Eyes Day and Pecan Pie Day July 13 is Barbershop Music Appreciation Day, Embrace Your Geekness Day and Fool's Paradise Day July 14 is Bastille Day, Pandemonium Day and National Nude Day July 15 is Tapioca Pudding Day and Cow Appreciation Day July 16 is Fresh Spinach Day and National Ice Cream Day ========================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >French Fries Our 17-year-old daughter has finally shown some interest in cooking. Recently, while we were watching TV, she was baking some french fries and asked me to pause the show. In less than a minute, she came back to the den. "What was that about?" I asked. She said that the instructions told her to turn the fries halfway through cooking. I remarked that she was pretty fast in flipping all those fries. "Is that what it meant?" she replied. "I just turned the pan around." -<>- >Banking Software My sister deals with customer complaints at the call center of a major bank. A very irate customer called one day to declare, "My new computer banking software doesn't work." My sister tried to determine the problem and eventually realized the software was working perfectly. She began to explain this when the customer cut in, "But money isn't coming out of the printer!" -<>- >Car Pool A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., he stopped back at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You drove, you idiot." -<>- >Meeting Long, unproductive meetings are often the curse of corporate life. My very funny boss at the software company where I worked has come up with what just might be the perfect way to cut a business conferences short before they start rambling out of control. There comes a time when he announces, "All those opposed to my plan say, 'I resign.'" End of meeting. -<>- >Military Time My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall. "He can be reached at 4700, Ma'am," the soldier advised. With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _.----. .----------------" / / \ ( EVEREADY | | |) | `----------------._\ \ / "----' Lester / itz / Nate >Smiles A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps- lock problem. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me." ---------- After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. Although the insurance company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000. When he was wheeled into the insurance company office to collect his check, Miller was confronted by several executives. "You're not getting away with this, Miller," one said. "We're going to watch you day and night. If you take a single step, you'll not only repay the damages but stand trial for perjury. Here's the money. What do you intend to do with it?" "My wife and I are going to travel," Miller replied. "We'll go to Stockholm, Berlin, Rome, Athens and, finally, to a place called Lourdes--where, gentlemen, you'll see yourselves one hell of a miracle!" ---------- Sam's barn burned down and his wife, Jane, called the insurance company. Jane spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that dang-on barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured and then we'll provide you with another barn, just like the original one." There was a long pause, and then Jane replied, "If that's how it works, I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband. ---------- "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband. "Toast and juice," she replied. ---------- While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?" ---------- The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Steve came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Merc, I ain't got no crayons." "Steve," Miss Merc said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons. You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Steve said, "What happened to all them crayons?" --------- I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have given me away, because my four-year-old daughter asked what was wrong. "I'm going to meet a woman who always yells at Daddy," I told her. "Oh," she replied. "Say 'Hi' to Mom." ---------- Driving with my two young boys to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial, and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. But at the grave-site, I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought. In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom, what's in the box?" ---------- When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text: "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life. She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice." At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, "Sorry, but it's really hard to read my mother's handwriting." ---------- A man went in for an interview for a job as a sales man. The interview went quite well, but the trouble was that he kept winking. The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we are looking for, the fact that you keep winking could put a lot of our potential customers off." "Oh, that is no problem," said the man. "I stop winking if I take a couple of aspirin." "Show me," said the interviewer. So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavored, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took an aspirin and soon stopped winking. The interviewer said, "I do not think we could employ someone who would be womanizing all over the country." "Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I am a happily married man, not a womanizer!" "Well, how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer. The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a drug store, winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?" --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _ _( ) ( ) ) _ ( _) ( ) ( ( ) ( ) _ ,-. _ ) ) ( ( ( ,-''' )_( ```-.,' ) `-( ) ) ( __|`-..._______...-'|__ ( ) [=== |==] ____(___ __,.--. | |__,-_''.------.``_-.-''__,.--' | | (( ))-' /| | | \`-...______...-'/ / / | `-..._______...-' `-...______...-' / / | / /`- ,-----. -' `- ,----. -' / / | / /___________________________________/ / | `---------------------------------------' | | _jrei____________________________ | | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | | | |___-_-___-___-_-___-_-_____-_-___| | | | (___________________________________) | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | A friend called me all upset. Her electric stove would not turn off. She asked me what do I do. So I told her to call someone that knows what to do! 'OK', she said. She calls me back and said 'Oh the stove went out - it just took so long to cool down.' I do not think she spends a lot of time in the kitchen! I asked how long she lived there - Her reply? 'oh about ten years.' OH MY Goodness! I DID TRY VERY HARD NOT TO TELL HER HOW DUMB SHE WAS! --- ...LOL! Geesh! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Amazingly Awesome Speech: President Trump Speech in Warsaw Poland Ceremony gets introduce by Melania Trump 7/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIpmQKEQh40 Poland’s Perception Of Trump Made Astonishingly Clear With This One Historic Image http://tinyurl.com/yaqzpa24 Polish President Gets Revenge On US Media Over Fake News Report Of Handshake Snub http://tinyurl.com/y8g6b39a TRUMP WORLD LEADERSHIP: America shows true leadership on the world stage http://tinyurl.com/y766f2fc BREAKING: Trump Delivers Masterful Speech In Poland – Linda Sarsour Calls For ‘JIHAD’ Against Trump Administration [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/ybgy56ny RED ALERT: Only The Foreign Press Is Reporting Trump’s Success At G-20 – He Kicked Ass http://tinyurl.com/y99szkdu PAYBACK: New York Post Cover PUNISHES Mayor De Blasio For Flying To Germany To Mock Trump http://tinyurl.com/y7kaszgs -<>- >From BizarreNews: A California TV reporter is gaining national fame from an unfortunate incident: Being sprayed with vomit by a drunken reveler. Wendy Burch of KTLA-TV was delivering a live report Tuesday from an "Ironman" competition in Hermosa Beach when she went to interview some of the participants during a portion of the event that called on the competitors to chug beer after a physical challenge. Burch made note of one drunken competitor vomiting nearby and moved to give her room and question a man who appeared to be holding his alcohol a bit better. The video shows Burch and the man both end up struck by projectile vomit from yet another competitor standing off- camera. Burch said the man she was interviewing was asking for it -- quite literally. "What I didn't notice until later, is that he had a bullseye drawn on his back with the words 'puke here' written in magic marker," she wrote in The Huffington Post. She said the video's freeze-frame right at the moment of vomiting was a coincidental technical glitch. Burch continued to report from the event after wiping the vomit from her skin and clothes. The reporter said she was surprised to see the video quickly go viral, spreading with multiple YouTube uploads gaining thousands of views each. "To all of you aspiring journalists out there, I'm here to tell you, dreams really do come true -- especially in the age of viral videos," Burch wrote. -<>- A man was rushed to a hospital with a serious injury to his manhood after shooting himself while getting into his car, according to police in Florida. Jacksonville police said that they have launched an investigation against 38-year-old Cedrick Jelks, for being a convicted felon in possession of a gun. According to the police investigation, the incident unfolded early on Friday morning. Jelks got into his Nissan Altima, which was parked on Freedom Crossing Trail. Jelks did not realize that there was a gun on the driver's seat, and he sat down on it. The gun went off, and the bullet hit him in the privates. Jelks ran into the home he shares with 25-year-old Shanekia Roberts, and asked for help. Roberts took Jelks to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. Doctors called police to report the injury. Jelks was convicted of drug possession and could not legally own a gun. *-- 'Honey, why is there an elephant in the backyard?' --* Kelly the elephant escaped her enclosure at a circus in Wisconsin and wandered to a nearby neighborhood for an early-morning snack, her handlers said. Residents in Baraboo, Wis., woke up early Friday to find Kelly munching on trees and plants in their backyard. "She was just having some breakfast, I guess," Jaime Peterson said. Kelly probably had help from fellow pachyderm Isla -- who likes bright, shiny things -- with releasing the bolts in their enclosure at Circus World in Baraboo, Wis. Isla stayed put inside the enclosure, but Kelly went on a walkabout, circus director Scott O'Donnell said. "Kelly went for a very short neighbor- hood stroll this morning after her partner-in-crime, Miss Isla, opened the door on the elephant barn," he said. "They're very curious and intelligent animals. Kelly's probably the more inquisitive one, and definitely the more food-motivated one." The elephant ultimately followed her trainer back home without incident. The circus said it would keep a better eye on Isla to make sure she doesn't open the enclosure again. *-- Man Needed a Lift --* Police in Florida said a man caught driving a stolen fork- lift told officers he was tired of walking -- and it wasn't the first time. Port Orange Police said an officer approached Bradley Barefoot, 43, who was appropriately barefoot at the time, after spotting him with the stolen forklift. "There was a male parked in a handicap spot with a piece of heavy equipment that had a mattress on it. The male was barefoot, talking to himself while swearing and throwing his hands up," the Port Orange Police report said. Barefoot initially told the officer he took the forklift because he thought it was the same one that has been stolen from his boss in Alabama, but he later said he took the $38,000 vehicle because he was tired of walking and he noticed the keys had been left in the ignition. Barefoot was arrested on a charge of grand theft. Police said the incident wasn't Barefoot's first offense -- he was arrested in April 2016 when he took a forklift from behind a Best Buy store in Daytona Beach and used it to move some boxes before driving the piece of equipment to a Bob Evans restaurant. Investigators said Barefoot told them in the 2016 case that he took the forklift because he didn't feel like walking. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) ,:;. -_7//` `.,\\___,,---. \_____ \___ M E R R Y \ ""., (/,,///|\\\;;,-. C H R I S T M A S ,;;` _ _ \-. ,;;` / `, / `, . \ E V E R Y B O D Y ! _/ '.;' " `-' |`` // \ / ,/: `._ _.':` ,\`. `-'`-' .'/` ,\\`.....,.'//` _ ,\\ || //` /_\,--/ ,\\._||_//` // \__/ __//`_'''''\\_ // \_____ __/ __//_""`` \\ \_ _\//,_ \ __/ __/| \_""` \\) \_ ' /"/`` \ __/ __/ | ; '' \)`/\_ \_ / / ___/ __/ ) ; :`/ \_ \_ / / ____/ ___/ ) ; :` \_ \_ / / \ __/ \ : ;` \_ \_ / / \_ `-.__ ) : ; \_ \_ / / `-.__ `-.____// \ ; : \_ \_/ / `-._____)====.,) : ; \_ / \\\ |\ ; ; \/ ctr (( / : ; _ \_(_/ / : ; _/ __ |/ ; : _/ _/ / /| / ; ; / _/ / ) | | ; : / / / / | | ; : / / ( ( | | ; : ( ( ) / | | ; : ( \ || | /| ; ; \ \ || | || ;: \ \ || | || ;; \ | ,_|. | || ;: | | ```` | || `: | | | || : ,_.|. | || :. ````` | || ':_ | || | || | || | || | || | || | || THE \|_||/ N I G H T M A R E /|/|\\ BEFORE | || C H R I S T M A S | || - Jack - | || | // ||| ||| ||| ||| \`-`-. """""` "The cinema is little more than a fad. It's canned drama. I'm going to get out of this business. It's too much for me. It'll never catch on." --Charlie Chaplin, 1914 "Gone with the Wind is going to be the biggest flop in the history of Hollywood. I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling flat on his face and not Gary Cooper." --Gary Cooper, 1938 "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married." Emmeline Snively (modeling agent) to Marilyn Monroe, 1944 -<>- >My Face My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely, And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. - Unknown -<>- ___....___ _,--''' ```--._ ,' `. /_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,\ _,-----._ || ,'( / `. || (__ __/_/._,'_) || ( _,/ `. ,' `. ) || (_ | o . o |-') || `-| | |-' || \ O / || ____ `.___,' ____|| ,' / /`._____)===(_____,'\ \ || ( ( ( (| `-'/_|_\`.' |) ) )|| \_\_\_| _______ |_/_/_|| | || [_______] || | || | ||_,' ,' `. `._|| |/ | | ||__,-' `-.__|| |\__| | | \ / | / / | | \ / | / \ \ \_________/ |__,' \ \ |_________| \ \' `-. ,\ `. ' : `. `.`. / `--' ' . \ / ' , ' \ \ \ | | | . | | |_______________________| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | -.| | -.| ( ) ( ) |`- | |`-- | | | | | | | | | | | | | jrei |__ _| |____| (____) (____) >Christmas in July Story Time I was raising three little girls on my own working two jobs to just survive. One year I got pneumonia, was out of work for three months and lost my jobs. It's funny how your instincts work. A few month before, I had seen some dolls made and decided to buy the broadcloth and yarn to make them. But the project went unnoticed until Christmas time. I had no money, no presents for my children or other family members, and barely enough food to feed us. We had pancakes for almost every meal. But at least we had that. So, out came the sewing machine and the project. I would work on the dolls late into the night after my girls had gone to sleep. I thought I was doing OK until it was Christmas Eve. We didn't have a tree and that's the one thing they wanted most. But all I had was a $5 bill. So my girls and I went looking for a tree that was discounted down to that $5 limit. We had made decorations out of newspaper, coloring books, tops of cans, anything the girls thought would look good on a tree — it's unbelievable what they thought would look good on a tree. We finally found a "Charlie Brown" tree, bought it, took it home, and decorated it. My girls helped so much that their young age seemed not to matter when it came to chores around the house. They all learned to cook, use the washing machine and dryer (when they worked). And they didn't know we had nothing. When a dam broke in Idaho, they saw on TV that relief workers were asking for donations of clothing and toys, etc., so they went through what few things they had and we took them to the donation drop-off. I was so proud of them — they had learned charity. They all wanted this and that but when I explained that they were only getting one gift, they accepted it and hoped for a Barbie or Big Wheel or roller skates. I finished the last doll at about 2:00 a.m. Christmas morning. I went to their room, found each one a stocking that didn't have a mate, and filled it with an orange and some candy, put their doll in front of their stocking, and went to bed. The next thing I hear is "Mom, Santa's been here, get up!" I was so glad they were happy with their small Christmas so I got out of bed and went to the living room. Santa had truly visited our home: under the tree were wrapped presents and boxes of food. I don't know how he got into our home because we didn't have a chimney and the doors were locked but there were presents for my girls and food to last a month. To this day I believe in Santa Claus — be he a neighbor, a stranger, or just the "Spirit of Christmas". We were saved by him in 1981. by Shellie Riggs --- ...So heartwarming! Thanks Fran! ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ______________ / /| / / | /____________ / | | _________ | |____________________ | | | | |/ /|, /| | | .. | | / / /9 / | | | . | | /_______ / /9 / | | |_________| | | ____ +| /9 / | |________++___|/|________|/9 / | ________________ ,9` / / | / -/ /- /| ,9 / /| | /______________ //|,9 / / | | | ______ ||,9 / / | | | -+ |_9366_| ||/ / /| | | |_______________|/__________/ / | | | /////----------/| | /__| | |___ |o o \o| \| | | | | | |o \|_ || o|______ | |__| | |_____ |o \_ | || o| | | | | | / |o / |\ /| o| | | | |__|/ |o o| | | | |o-------------o| | | | |o /\/\ o| | | | |o / o o| o| | | | |o / \_+_/ o| | | | |o |\ \ o| | | | |o | |+ +-| o| | | | |o-------------o| | | | |o /| o| | | / m1a \/|/|/ |/\/|/\/ |____|/ Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer. It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price. I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect: It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal. She's still laughing. -<>- A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgment Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could. "Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!" At this point, one of the elders of the congregation inter- rupted to say, "But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?" The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends, the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured... teeth will be provided!" -<>- A tour guide was showing a tour group around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar coin across the Potomac River. "That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!" "You have to remember," answered the guide, "a dollar went a lot farther in those days." -<>- While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!" -<>- My job is in the aerospace industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, "Defense contractor." The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, "So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?" -<>- How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make that noise? I could see that taking a long time. I bet there was like a thousand years where people were like, 'Yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.' -<>- >Physics 101 Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 10 cards: 1 decacards 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin 10 rations: 1 decoration 8 nickels: 2 paradigms 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) _ .mMMb "YMMMb "YMMP `"`. `. `. `. . ,' `. `. > `.' _ ` _,(_)._ ` ___,(_______). _|\ ,'__. \ | \ /,' / \ | | | | | |,' / \`.| / `. : : / `. :.,' `-.________,-' >Sixteen Uses for Tea There's nothing like a hot cup of tea, especially on a cold day or an ice cold cup of tea on a hot day. Not only does tea warm the body and give us inner peace, it also fights cancer, lowers the risk of stroke and helps our cells fight aging. However, if you thought that is where the usefulness of this drink ends, you are sorely mistaken... Here are 16 other things that you can do with tea: 1. Tired Eyes Tired and red eyes can be caused by irritation, too much crying or simple tiredness. While ice bags or cucumber slices are a workable solution, tea bags get you the same results but are also warm and pleasant. Put them in hot water, allow them to cool a bit and then place them on the eyelids like a compress. 2. Improving the taste of meat Meat tastes great when properly cooked, but when not, it can become stale, hard and dry. Here is an effective solution to the problem: Use used tea bags to make a marinade that will restore its flavor. Soaking hard meat in black tea can also soften it again. 3. Cleaning wood surfaces Tea can be a great and gentle cleaning material for wood floors and surfaces. Wipe the wood surfaces or furniture with a clean cloth soaked in cool tea water, then use a clean and dry towel to prevent stains. 4. Removing fat and dirt The astringency of the tea will reduce the fatty buildup in pots and pans. Just soak the used tea bag in the container you wish to clean. 5. Cleaning Rugs Clean moldy and dirty rugs by spreading some used (dry) tea leaves on it. Leave them be for 10 minutes and then vacuum the rug. If these are delicate carpets, you can brush the tea leaves gently away. 6. Cleaning fatty fingerprints from glass Tea can remove those pesky fingerprints from glass, and make it shine. Just rub a moist tea bag on the glass surface, then use a spray bottle filled with tea water and wipe. 7. Cleaning the toilet Use tea to remove stubborn stains in the bottom of the toilet. Soak several bags of tea for several hours in the toilet water and then remove them gently and brush the sides. 8. Getting rid of fish smell To get rid of that overpowering smell of fish, wash your hands in tea water. 9. Air freshener Bags of tea can absorb those bad odors in the pantry, in your shoes or in your car. Put a few tea bags on a tray and put them in the closet, shoe or car. Let them absorb the odors. 10. Getting rid of bad foot odor If you suffer from stinky feet, soak them for 20 minutes in a tea bath. Use black tea for extreme cases. The stringency in the tea will close the sweat glands that give off the smell and that tanin will kill the bacteria. 11. Removing warts and blisters Soak a tea bag in water and put it on the blister for 20-30 minutes. Make sure to throw away the bag afterwards. 12. Diminishing mouth ulcers. Get your mouth wounds to heal faster by gently biting a used tea bag. The healing powers of the tea will reduce the pain, shrink the blood vessels and stop the bleeding. 13. Treating burns If you suffer from a really bad case of acne or irritated skin from a burn or sun tanning, use used tea bags to bring relief. Wash the areas burnt with a cold tea bag, but if most of the skin needs it, make a bath of tea water 14. Treat acne Many find that washing your face with a cool brew of green tea is an effective solution for acne. 15. Avoiding fleas To turn back fleas from your dog or cat, spread some dry and used tea leaves around the place they sleep. 16. Softening and dying your hair Washing your hair with a cup of tea can make it shiny and soft to the touch. However, if your hair is light colored, it may turn it darker, which is perfect if you want to dye it. --- ...Great Tips! Why throw that bag away? 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Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) An impeccable dance routine isn’t enough anymore when it comes to impressing the America’s Got Talent judges. Light Balance, a group from Ukraine, used neon light-up suits to put on an incredible show. Watch them light up the stage and make the crowd go crazy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oUMkoKEcyc --- ...Fun To Watch! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Airbnb is planning to launch a luxury service for mansions. They say it's perfect for people who want to have everything stolen from their mansion." -Jimmy Fallon "Spirit Airlines recently gave a family 21 years of free travel after a mother went into labor and gave birth mid-flight. Though they probably should have given those free flights to the guy sitting next to her." -Seth Meyers "A company in New York City has opened what some are calling a nonalcoholic cocktail bar that creates drinks using lemons and herbal ingredients instead of alcohol. And this is cool - they're using empty chairs instead of customers." -Seth Meyers "On Monday in Vermont, a barrel of maple syrup fell off a truck and spilled all over the highway. Luckily, it broad- sided a French toast truck." -Conan O'Brien "The Baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a flight. Finally combining the two things Americans love most - waiting in airports and exercise." -Jimmy Fallon "This week is the July 4th holiday, or as your dog calls it, PTSD Day." -Seth Meyers "The Fourth of July holiday is almost upon us. The original Brexit is the Fourth of July. It's my favorite holiday. You don't have to wrap anything, other than bacon around a hot dog." -Jimmy Kimmel "For the fourth time, a small town in Kentucky has elected a dog as its mayor. People were so excited; at the victory party, they kept chanting, '28 more years! 28 more years!'" -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************