Christmas Leftovers And New Year SMILES... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our ShangyFunList: Group Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com :) The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ( . ) ) ( ) . ' . ' . ' . ( , ) (. ) ( ', ) .' ) ( . ) , ( , ) ( . ). , ( . ( ) ( , ') .' ( , ) (_,) . ), ) _) _,') (, ) '. ) ,. (' ) jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After meeting with the boss, the head salesperson mustered the troops. "People," he said, "I've just been informed that we're going to be having a fire sale." "A fire sale?" spoke up one agent. "But we sell insurance." "I said a fire sale, and I meant it," he replied rather coldly. "Anyone who doesn't make a sale gets fired...." -<>- Fay is sitting at a hotel bar waiting for her husband to arrive when a man approaches her. "Hi, honey," he says. "Want a little company?" "Why?" asks Fay, "do you have one to sell?" -<>- NERD BOY! MEANWHILE, AT A BUS STOP... | | Hey! You're that guy who _ | _ trashed our computers! |_| __ | |_| ` __ | #..# OO | | #.. OO' | .)(. .||. | | .)|. .||. ________ || _____ bb _________/ | ________ || _____ dd _________/ ------------------------------' | ------------------------------' ___________________________________|___________________________________ | | I'll have you know that | Therefore, my actions clearly there was a 42.64% chance that | outweighed not destroying your _ your software was harmful to | _ computers 165 to 1! |_| __ , mankind! | |_| __ , | #.. OO | | #.. OO | .)|. .||. | | .)|. .||. ________ || _____ dd _________/ | ________ || _____ dd _________/ ------------------------------' | ------------------------------' ___________________________________|___________________________________ You're just making this stuff up as you go along, IT'S THE _ aren't you? SCIENTIFIC METHOD! |_| ` __ , | #..# \OO | .)(. ||. ________ || _____ dd _________/ ------------------------------' jg >New Year Nerd Resolutions 1. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too! 2. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. 3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" 4. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 5. I will try to figure out why I really need 9 e-mail addresses. 6. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate. 7. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own. 8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail. 9. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it. 10. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line. 11. No more downloads from alt.binaries.* 12. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps... 13. I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet. 14. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items. 15. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 28 is Boxing Day and Card Playing Day December 29 is Pepper Pot Day December 30 is Bacon Day and National Bicarbonate of Soda Day December 31 is New Year's Eve, Make Up Your Mind Day and Unlucky Day January 1 is New Year's Day and National Hangover Day January 2 is International Stop Spam Day and Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day January 3 is Feast of the Epiphany - Three Kings, Festival of Sleep Day, Fruitcake Toss Day and Humiliation Day ======================================================= >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: ('.'''. ()/ ..) o'.__.> _ || _ |\ (_|\/|_)\ / //| |\\// (( |()\ \/ \\| \ _/_| () \ | \ \_._._.' \\// mrf ))\ // \\ (x\_/x) (_(___) >THE PNC CHRISTMAS PRICE INDEX PNC Financial Services Group For 37 years, PNC has calculated the prices of the 12 gifts from the classic holiday song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas." The PNC Christmas Price Index® is a whimsical holiday tradition, which this year includes adjustments for the pandemic’s impact on the cost of purchasing the presents in the renowned carol. 2020 TOTAL CHRISTMAS PRICE INDEX (CPI) $16,168.14 (-58.5%) The true cost of Christmas decreased in 2020, as this year's index accounts for cancellations of many live performances. It's a silent night at most symphonies and the lights have dimmed for many dancers this holiday season, which contributes to the year-over-year decline. See the price and details for each day's gifts: https://www.pnc.com/en/about-pnc/topics/pnc-christmas-price-index.html Copyright 2020 The PNC Financial Services Group, Inc. All rights reserved -<>- .-. o \ .-. .----.' \ .'o) / `. o / | \_) /-. '_.` \ \ `. | \ | \ | .--/`-. / / .'.-/`-. `. .\| /.' /`._ `- '-. ____(|__/`-..`- '-._ \ |`------.'-._ ` ||\ \ || # /-. ` / || \| || #/ `--' / /_::_|)__ `|____|-._.-` / ||`--------` \-.___.` | / || # | \ | | || # # | /`.___.'\ |.`|________| | /`.__.'|'.` __/ \ __/ \ /__.-.) /__.-.) LGB >PANDEMIC By Dave Veerman Virus infected from serpent's lies denial, guilt, shame the outcast cries Next generations sickness inbred Encompassing all worldwide spread Millenia now such fateful past hell, separation so lost and last Hate, lust, division violence, greed self-focused chaos Adam, Eve's seed That legacy stain I know and feel full consequences evidence real Empty desiring my back was turned alone and fearful entreaties spurned In Eden God walked seeking his man knowing sin's plague and antidote plan Covenant promise present I AM revealed love story sacrificed lamb Through prophets, priests, kings prepared his way then angels declared divine birthday Miracle baby a manger birth great First Responder Love came to earth Death, resurrection life and death pure our Great Physician provided cure Grace offered freely by faith procured sin disease conquered heaven assured Humbly this Christmas before him bow receiving the Gift making your vow Full restoration mind, heart, and soul joy everlasting healed and whole Thank you dear Jesus coming for me blessed beyond measure forgiven, free! - - - - - - - - - Copyright 2020 Dave Tippett. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes. -<>- ,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___ ((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __ () \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|-- ((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt >TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR HOLIDAY TV SPECIALS By Dave Tippett 10. Rudolph The Insurance Adjuster 9. Mary, Joseph, and the Donkey's Wet, Hacking Cough 8. It's an Above Average Life 7. A Charlie Brown Parole Hearing 6. Frosty 2: The Revenge 5. It's a Claymation Hanukkah! 4. The Whoville Seven 3. Live from Las Vegas: The Grinch IS Elvis!! 2. The Innkeeper's Dental Appointment 1. The Night Santa Snapped - - - - - - - - - Copyright 2005 Dave Tippett. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes. -<>- + * + + + `.!.' * + + -=x=- + .'!`. * + + ! * + + + + + * + * + ,-. * //"\\ + * + * // \\ * // = \\ + w w w + + //___o O \\ \O O O ||\_/|\|\ || + |\ `|\ '|\ _ ___||_Y_| \_\||_________|_\_|_\__|_\ hjw >TOP SEVEN THINGS OVERHEAD ON THE WISE MEN'S JOURNEY TO BETHLEHEM: 7. Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense! 6. You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like goat. 5. You know, I used to go to school with a girl name Beth Lehem. 4. What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow? Phoenician? 3. Hey, do you either of you know why "MYRRH" is spelled with a "Y" instead of a "U"? 2. Okay, whose camel just spit?? 1. All this staring at a star while riding a camel is making me woozy. -<>- | + | /^\ + --=<-*->=-- + \·/ | ____ ... + .. ... | | |__,'[] `,__ _' `__ /\|/\ _' `___|_ []| ______|__ __|_ [] | /#\ |[] __| []| | | []| | | | # | | | | | | | | | '.,_#.- - ' . - · - ' - . . - ' - . _ . - ' - . _ _ MAY YOUR PATH ` ' /\|/\ ' ' /\|/\ /#\ LEAD YOU TO PEACE AND ' ' /#\ # ' ' # /\|/\ # HAPPINESS ' ' # /#\ # ' ' # EVERYONE ' ' #________ |OOShy >A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM JESUS When you look for me at Christmas, you won't need a special star. I'm no longer just in Bethlehem, I'm right here where you are. You may not be aware of me amid the celebrations. You'll have to look beyond the stores and all the decorations. But if you take a moment from your list of things to do, To close your eyes and say a prayer, I'm waiting here for you. You're the one I want to be with. You're the reason that I came! And you'll find me in the stillness Where I'm whispering your name. Dance like Frosty. Shine like Rudolph. Give like Santa. Love like Jesus. ========================================================= .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. >-->Happy New Year SMILES :) Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s. Middle age is when you’re forced to. Q: What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is ever awake to see them. Q: What is a New Year’s resolution? A: Something that goes in one year and out the other. Q: What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31? A: New Year’s Steve! ^ _...._ ^ .' '. _...._ ^ / \' '. |X / \ -. \ |X | ^ .-. |'.-. .' \ / \;/ `/\` '. .' / \ ( `/\` / \ \ ^ `) ^ / \ ) ( ^ /'-...-'\ ( \ /-.__ __.-\ ) jgs '._ ` _.' ^ / `"""""` My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start. Q: What do cows say on Jan. 1? A: “Happy Moo New Year!” Q: What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve? A: The ice falling out of your drink! Q: What is corn’s favorite holiday? A: New Ears Eve. . , . L\ o .-""-. |\_ / (--> \ o .\ \'--.)_>_=/_( __ . \ )`-._/|_,( (==) o |_\ (_ ( \ /|~~| o . _.' `\ ) \_/\ \/ | | _ _.','\ _/\ (__'._/|()| |=/=/====\======/==| /` `\ \ ' . o . '-..-' o / / \ `'-.__ o' __.-'` ; _/\_ ; `'..'` ||` `|| || ||PARTY!|| || || || jgs || | \____/ | _.' '._ | | < > \_.-""-._/ `""""""` `""""""` Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve. It’s December 31st. Q: What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? A: Chill out. Q: What did the little champagne bottle call his father? A: Pop! Q: What did the ghost say on January 1st? A: Happy Boo Year. .~~~~. |2021| _|____|_ }-{ A P P Y (_,/\ \ \,~,/(`^ ^( ) /\/ E W \_/ ) \-' ) ( |\| (.-' '--.) \./ \( /(_)-(_) \ | E A R \\/ /\ /`\ \ \_/ / . \ // /'---'\`/_ _/ ^ ^ ;--; .--`| ^ ^ /` `), /` . \ ^ /` ) . '). ~^~`/ ( \^ / ( ' \^-~`-~ - ^ ~^- . )/ . ) '-.;~^-~^~- ~^~- / `\ - . ~^~ ,-.`~~^~^~^ ~- `^_~-~^-| \^ \~_~^ -~^~- ~^`~^ ^~ ~_jgs .-./__/\__`\-. ~^_-~^- ~^- ^~ `-^~=~-`=~-~=-' ~ "I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year." — A dad on New Year's Eve. Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? A: Waiting for the punchline. Q: What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve? A: Hogs and kisses! Q: What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? A: Social Security. . . : . '.@.' /^\ / \ /2021 \ @@@@@@@@@ / 6 6 \ ( ^ ,) \ __, /-._ `._____.'\ `--.__ \\/ `/``"""'-. / ) / : | /\ | .--. : / /\1`\ \/ `.__.:.____.-. / / /`\9`\`/ .-"..____.-. \ jgs _.-' /_/ `\9`\ \-. \ `=----' `\9`\--------'""`-. \ `" `-./ `" An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Q: What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? A: Social Security. Q: What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? A: 1080p. Q: Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve? A: Times Square. o _' {_} |=| . ' | | o . o o |@| . o _o_._'_ /___\ o_.__'\~~~~~/ |=2 | \~~~~~/ '-.-' |=0 | '-.-' | |-2 | | _|_ |_1_| _|_ `"""` |_._| jgs `"""` `"""` This New Year’s, I’m going to make a resolution I can keep — no dieting all year long. Q: Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? A: To start off the new year in a cool way. Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? A: I haven’t seen you for a year! Q: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? A: He got 12 months! Knock knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year. _..@._ .' `\ / - - | / a a /, , | ^ D) ) ||\ , \ .__, /'. '. |\`,'/ .-';`-.___..;.-'\ \ \ _| / | .` _.; | -.`| \ _.-'| | \ ' \ 2 | . .' | | '._/`; 0 \ / /___\. / \ 2 \ | .`;,' _\_ | \ 1 '.| _/___|_/_|_}_ /\__ ' `'. '; \___________/ | ',`'-.,_'. \ | | \/`'. ._,;`'. \ | HAPPY | \ `\.' `| \ || NEW | | .' /-`\/| YEAR! | ;.' . _.'` / || | .' ,-' / / ;`-------`; / .'`; \ ( '._ _.' \ ( \ ` )`'`( \_,()))) jgs .' '. `"""""""""` ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| >SMILES Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that. Friends of men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them. -------- This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed. I had a roof over my head. I had TV and internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA online. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "I just got out of prison." -------- A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know..... I don't eat cats." -------- My father-in-law had prostate surgery. We brought him to the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and he was operated on at eight. We were amazed when the hospital called at noon to tell us he could go home. Two months later our beagle, Bo, also had prostate surgery. When I brought him in, I asked the veterinarian what time I should pick him up. The vet told me Bo would remain overnight. "Overnight?" I said. "My father-in-law came home the same day after his operation!" The vet looked at me and said, "Bo's not on Medicare!" -------- At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a year-long research project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away?" -------- The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day. Father 1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it? Father 2: Shall I open the window? Father 1: No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves. Father 2: Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution? Father 1: What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work? Father 2: Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?" -------- Four jack rabbits are strolling in the prairie. Out of nowhere, a gang of coyotes begins to chase them. So the rabbits run under a huge cactus for refuge. Then the hungry coyotes surround the cactus. One jack rabbit says to another... "Okay, should we make a run for it, or wait till we outnumber them?" -------- An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Epstein, are you comfortable?" Epstein replies, "I make a nice living...." -------- Driving with my young boys, aged 4 and 6, to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. But at the grave site I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought. In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom?" "Yes," I whispered. "What's in the box?" --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >Hi There, I’m Bob. I’m 80. Every morning, I sit on the same park bench and chat to my friend, Jim, who’s a full seven years older than me. I’ve always wondered where he gets all his stamina from – he goes for a jog each day without fail, before meeting me. And, amazingly, he’s never out of breath. One fine day, I plucked up the courage to ask him: “Hey Jim, how on earth do you have all that stamina at your age?” "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies,” Jim replied. Intrigued, I decided to visit the local bakery on my way home to find myself some Italian bread and hopefully get a vitality boost. As I looked around while trying to ensure that no-one caught on to what I was doing, the lady asked me if I needed any help. “Do you have any Italian bread?” I asked sheepishly. "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" "I want five loaves." ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ \ / / y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ “My goodness, five loaves?” she exclaimed. “By the time you get to the fifth loaf, it'll be hard." I left as fast as my old legs could carry me! --- ...Oh my goodness! TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: _ , (_\______/________ \-|-|/|-|-|-|-|/ \==/-|-|-|-|-/ \/|-|-|-|,-' \--|-''' \_j________ (_) (_) hjw >Time To Stock Up! Don't overlook these essentials - they'll come in handy in unexpected ways. You'll see big discounts on everything from ornaments to household decor but also artificial trees which can be quite expensive in prime time. The other must-stock: baking supplies. Think icing, holiday cookie cutters, sprinkles, etc. Red icing and red crystal sugar sprinkles might scream 'holiday' in December, but they can also scream 'Valentine's Day' in February or 'Independence Day' in July. Candy, food and beverages also get marked down quickly because leftover themed packages appear outdated, but in reality, they still have a long shelf life left. Hats, scarves, and other holiday gear... this is the time to buy when prices are slashed. Just in time to keep those New Year's resolutions, you'll find major price dives on fitness equipment like treadmills, weight sets, elliptical machines. Look for the hottest sales closer to February, as retailers stock up in late December and early January to take advantage of the New Year's-resolution push. Once models don't sell, they'll be pushed to clearance and sale aisles. -<>- ___ ___ ___ ___ ___.---------------. .'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__,` . ____ ___ \ |\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ _:\ |:. \ \___ \ \\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\_`.__| `. \ \___ \ \\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __: \ \\'\__\'\__\'\__\ \__\'\_;-----------------` hh \\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ : | \|______________________;________________| The holiday season means two things; parties and cold, sloppy weather. So let's look at a few tips that will help us deal with the messes caused by both! Chocolate stains on your sofa or clothing can be a stubborn mess. So the next time that piece of chocolate cake falls frosting side down; first scrape off any excess chocolate from the fabric, dab it with a mixture of equal parts white vinegar and cold water. If the chocolate is on a very delicate fabric like silk, replace the vinegar with baby shampoo. * Lift casserole gunk with Epsom salts Your famous casserole may be a favorite with family and friends, but cleaning up that pan or casserole dish after dinner can be murder. Skip scrubbing and sprinkle Epsom salts over the mess, then let it sit for 10 minutes. The salts dry up moisture, causing stubborn food particles to break off. A quick scrub with the salts will remove any remaining stuck-on gunk. * Outsmart candle wax with a quick freeze There is nothing like the soft glow of candlelight to create a cozy atmosphere, but wax drippings on tablecloths is an all-too-common hazard. Try rubbing an ice cube on the wax to freeze it before it hardens completely. This makes it brittle and easier to remove. Then scrape it off with a dull knife. * Clean muddy shoes with a foamy fizz When rain and snow leaves the soles of your shoes caked with mud, apply a paste of 1/2 cup baking soda and 1 tsp. of Castile soap, then spritz with white vinegar and let it foam up. The foam dislodges dirt, making it easy to wipe off the threads. -<>- ---------------------------------------------------------- UUUUUUUUU| HHHHHHHHHH | |AAAAAAAA |UUUU UUUUUU C |HHHHHHHHHHHHH | LLLL |AAAAAAAAAAA |UUUUU UUUUU /\_________ HHHHHH |LLLLLLLLLL |AAAAAAAAAAAAA|UUUUU ==== / |######| ======================================= QQQQ |\ |#####/ PPPPP | UU | IIIIIIIL | TT QQQ / | |<_____ PPPPPP | UUUUUUUU | IIIIIIILLLLL| TTTT === ` ` o o ======================================= VK One of the biggest money wasters is at the grocery store. How often do you buy things you think you may need, and not things you actually do need? Keep a magnetic shopping list on the refrigerator and when you run out of something, write it down. Also, rather than shopping for a little bit each day, make the most efficient use of your time (and gas!) by going to the grocery store once a week. * Eggshells Accidentally drop a piece of eggshell into your bowl? Don't freak out... here's a quick tip to help you in a pinch! In order to get out tiny bits of cracked eggshell from your mixing bowl, simply wet one of your fingers with water and gently touch the shell shard. It will easily stick to your finger! * Brown Sugar There are so many hacks out there that supposedly prevent your brown sugar from becoming hard, but this is the only method you actually need. Seal your brown sugar and store it inside of the refrigerator. It really doesn't get any easier than that. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Watter's World 12/26/20 https://www.bitchute.com/video/9cB3Scn4hC7r/ Justice with Judge Jeanine 12/26/20 https://www.bitchute.com/video/me6tpWx8BwVk/ Trump signs, sends redlined version of Covid catchall bill back to Congress to remove waste. What now? / Herschel Walker cites Sidney Powell’s 270 pg. report, says those who certified the election should be jailed https://www.bizpacreview.com/ Brexit Deal is Done / Israel Goes into 4th Election in 2 Years / Harris Claims She did Kwanzaa as a Child, Even Before it was Invented / Officials Investigate Shady Healthcare Provider Snatching Up Vaccines / FBI Investigating Nashville RV Bomber Say He Was anti-5G / 89% of US COVID Casualties Were Terminally Ill Before Getting Virus https://reliablenewsnow.com/ Nashville cops describe RV explosion in can’t-miss presser: ‘I literally heard God tell me to turn around’ https://tinyurl.com/yaemk3a9 Top Official Dropped A Bombshell About What China Is Doing: Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe made it clear when he briefed the House and Senate Intelligence Committees on China’s interference in the 2020 election. https://tinyurl.com/yakrl4zk MIKE PENCE Just Went LIVE And TOTALLY KILLED IT! https://tinyurl.com/ydyls6ul [VIDEO] https://twitter.com/i/status/1341548817611706370 Westwing News: https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From Deep State Journal: https://deepstatejournal.com/ What Dominion Just Did To A Brave Whistleblower Is Absolutely Sickening! [VIDEO] http://2020conservative.com/ Latest From Independent Minute: https://independentminute.com/ Latest From TPN News: https://threepercenternation.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Fish, Vegetables, Candles Recalled http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: This love affair gone wrong happened in Chesapeake, Va. where Dylan Fell arranged to meet a woman he was dating in a McDonald's parking lot. Moments after the two met, a Portsmouth police officer arrived. "She got in. About two minutes into it, a blue car pulled in behind me to block me in, and I looked in the rear view mirror, and I said, 'Who is that?' And she said, 'Oh, that's my husband,'" says Fell. He says he thought his date was separated from her husband, and surely didn't know the husband was an officer. But what happened led to charges and a complaint against police Sergeant Robert Huntington. Fell says the sergeant tried to yank him out of his truck and arrest him for no reason. "By that time, he reached through the window with both hands and grabs my shirt, and tries to pull me out this window. When he had grip of me, he took his left hand and hit me in my crotch, reaches for what I thought was a gun and I'm scared for my life and I take off," says Fell. Hours later, Dylan filed an assault report with Chesapeake police and then went to Portsmouth police to file an internal affairs complaint. Sergeant Huntington is now facing assault charges, but is still working for the department. -<>- A California Santa Claus paragliding with a motorized parachute ended up needing assistance from the elves at the local fire department when he became tangled in power lines. Metro Fire of Sacramento said the St. Nick impersonator was using his motorized paraglider, a parachute propelled by a motor-operated fan, to deliver candy canes to local children when his aircraft became tangled in some power lines in Rio Linda. Fire Capt. Christopher Vestal said the parachute is classified as a "hyper light" aircraft and operators do not need to report their flight patterns. The local energy company cut off power to about 200 customers while rescuers worked to untangle Santa, who was secured to his "sleigh" by a seat belt. "Without any doubt, the restraints prevented him from injury and likely saved not only Santa's life, but Christmas," Vestal reported. Santa was not injured and was safely returned to solid ground. *--- Man burns himself while praying at Applebee's ---* A New Jersey appeals court rejected a lawsuit from a man who alleged he suffered burns from his Applebee's fajita when he bowed his head to pray. Hiram Jimenez's lawsuit alleged he visited the Westampton restaurant with his brother, Rafael, and they decided to pray over their food. Jimenez said he bowed his face over his steak fajita, which was served on a skillet, and he soon heard a loud sizzling noise followed by a grease pop that led to a burning sensation on the left side of his face, including his eye. Jimenez, who alleged the waitress did not warn him the food was hot, said he knocked the plate over in a panic, causing the food to spill on his lap and incite further burns. Jimenez filed a lawsuit in state Superior Court, accusing the restaurant of negligently giving him hot food that led to serious injury. The Superior Court ruled against Jimenez, saying the danger caused by the sizzling fajita skillet was "open and obvious" when Jimenez chose to put his face near it. The two-judge appeals panel sided with the lower court. "Here, the danger posed by a plate of sizzling hot food was self-evident," the ruling stated. *--- French man hid Russian wife in suitcase ---* A Frenchman was detained by Polish border guards after a search of his suitcase revealed shocking contents -- his Russian bride. Polish Border Guard officers at the Terespol border crossing from Belarus said they searched the luggage of a French train passenger in his 60s and discovered his large suitcase was concealing his Russian wife, who is in her 30s. The guards said the couple told them the woman was hiding in the suitcase because they feared she would not be allowed to cross the border from Belarus to Poland due to her lack of European Union citizenship. Dariusz Sienicki, spokesman for Polish Border Guard, said the woman "was in good shape and wasn't in need of any medical attention." Sienicki said the man was unaware that his wife would have been allowed to cross the border because he possessed the proper documentation showing their marital ties. "If she had traveled sitting next to her husband, she would have gone through smoothly," Sienicki said. The man and woman were detained on a charge of attempting to evade border control. They could each face up to three years in prison if convicted. "This was the first time I've seen someone travel like this. She very well could have been a victim of human trafficking," Sienicki said. *--- Star Light, Star Bright ---* The two largest planets in our solar system are coming closer together than they have been since the Middle Ages, and it's happening just in time for Christmas -- hence the nickname of the "Christmas Star." While it's not an actual star, the two planets will certainly make a bright splash in the night sky. Beginning on the night of December 21, the winter solstice, Jupiter and Saturn will appear so closely aligned in our sky that they will look like a double planet. "Alignments between these two planets are rather rare, but this conjunction is exceptionally rare because of how close the planets will appear to one another," said astronomer Patrick Hartigan of Rice University in Houston. "You'd have to go all the way back to 1226 to see a closer alignment between these objects visible in the night sky. Between December 16 and 25, they will become even cozier. Look for the Jupiter-Saturn conjunction low in the western sky for about an hour after sunset each evening during this time. *--- 'If I sit down, I'll freak out.' ---* Two passengers and a dog used the emergency slide to slip out of a moving Delta Air Lines airplane at LaGuardia Airport in Queens, New York. The passengers opened a cabin door, activating the emergency slide, as their plane was taxiing out of the runway, according to the New York Post. They then used the emergency slide to deplane with their service dog. One of the passengers - Antonio Murdock - told told Port Authority police that his post-traumatic stress disorder was triggered on the plane. The 31-year-old and his companion, 23-year-old Brianna Greco, were arrested in the incident. Brian Plummer, an eyewitness to the incident, said that as Flight 462 began to move, Mr. Murdock ignored a flight attendant's instructions to sit and stood up saying that he had post-traumatic stress disorder. "If I sit down, I'll freak out," the man said, according to Plummer. After the couple and their dog exited the plane, the aircraft returned to the gate and other passengers were deplaned. Mr. Murdock and Ms. Greco were charged with criminal trespass, reckless endangerment, disorderly conduct and obstructing governmental administration. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: | | | _ | | <_> | | | | | `-._ | |`-._| | | _________________________________|____ `-._ `-._ | `-._ `-._ | kat `-._ `-._ >Going to the Super Bowl John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asks why in the world no one is using it? The man replied that it was his wife's seat but she passed away. He said this was the first Super Bowl that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968. John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn't find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat? "No" replied the man, "They're all at her funeral!" -<>- . | \/| (\ _ ) )|/| (/ _----. /.'.' .-._________.. .' @ _\ .' '.._______. '. / (_| .') '._____. / '-/ | _.' '.______ ( ) ) \ '..____ '._ ) ) .' __.--\ , , // (( '.' mrf| \/ (_.'( ' \ .' \ ( \ '. \ \ '.) '-'-' >One Bad Bird David got a parrot for his birthday. Unfortunately, it had a bad attitude and screamed expletives all the time. David tried hard to change the bird's behavior by constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, but nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, it just got ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. He heard the bird squawking, kicking and cursing. Then it got quiet. David worried he had hurt the bird, so he opened the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped onto David's arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you. I will change my behavior immediately." Astounded by the bird's sudden politeness, David was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot said, "May I ask what the turkey did?" -<>- >What Denomination? A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Catholic and 50 Baptist ones." -<>- >Q and A Quickies: '\ . . |>18>> \ . ' . | O>> . 'o | \ . | /\ . | / / .' | jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Q: Did you hear about the guy who played golf on Christmas and accidentally hit a bird? A: He got a partridge on a par three. Q: What's red and white and falls down the chimney? A: Santa Klutz! Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas? A: Merry Christmas to Ewe! __________________________ _.-'____ ___ ___ ___ .' _..--| |/ |__ __| || | U| | | | || | \/ | || | | | | | || | / \ || | | | | | || | \ / || | | | | | 8] | | || | | | | | || | | \| | | ,----==-_--. | | | || | | | | | < \/\/ (_ | | | | || | | | /| | '----..----' | | || || | 0 | | || '==| || | | || || | | | \| | || | | || || | | | | | || | | || || | | | | | || | | || || | | | | .' || | | | | |\ | /| | | || || | | | | |/ | \| | | || || | | | | || | | | | o || || | | | | 8] | | | | || || |-._| | || _| | _ |___|\ || || '-._'-|_||___/ '----|_( )_| |__|| || '-._|-._____,-._________________-. || '-__________ _____,._______| '' "" Petrus Q: What did Santa say to his reindeer after they landed on the out house roof? A: Santa hollered out I SAID THE SCHMIDT HOUSE! Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? A: Because every buck is dear to him. Q: What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time? A: Jungle Bells! Q: What do rich cats have in their refrigerators? A: Automatic mice makers. Q: Why did the cowboy die with his boots on? A: Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket. .--._ .'""""-t--. /_. .-._ \ `. __.-. :/o: "o.` ; .'\.-" .--."-._ . /; ; :/ _;. ( `-._\ .-" "--._.: : :s, t,-"/ j"_. _._\`\ ___._.._.._/ _. _ \; .--. / "-: / 'o.` \.o`; ; .-"" ( "" / "-. : : ;,: . .$; :/:_.---.-. :: .-""""^._ / \_.gp.____.-j ;; ' __ :_; _.--`-.t ; Y ( : ;`^$$P^" ; : \ ' ` ; : ; l--t"'.;_ ,_.-. ; ; / \ ( : \ t-.___ / ;/ ,---=-: \ ;o; .o.` : : .-" \ ) ; `.; """\ .' .o' :o; ; : ; ; ; : ""--.._ `. : .'"-. Y .d.: : ; Ts,-. .-: `-- .' "-._`.; .' \ \ .---, ; : ---. ` : ; \ :.---: : ;-- __; : ;--.. " ) ; _:tjtjt-; ; : """"-.__L./ '^:;:^' `-._ bug : : /\ : Q: Which president was least guilty? A: Lincoln. He is in a cent. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ____________ .F............T. | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''. | `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '. _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date." A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line again. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application." -<>- A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "Still in the Garden of Eden?" -<>- Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? (The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. Don't EVEN think of going there!) So I now present for you.... .--._.--.--.__.--.--.__.--.--.__.--.--._.--. _(_ _Y_ _Y_ _Y_ _Y_ _)_ [___] [___] [___] [___] [___] [___] /:' \ /:' \ /:' \ /:' \ /:' \ /:' \ |:: | |:: | |:: | |:: | |:: | |:: | \::. / \::. / \::. / \::. / \::. / \::. / jgs \::./ \::./ \::./ \::./ \::./ \::./ '=' '=' '=' '=' '=' '=' Things NOT To Say When Hanging Christmas Lights --"You've got two red lights right next to each other. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..." --"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try." --"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?" --"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker." --"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father." --"Give me that!!" --"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top." --"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!" --"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?" --"Have you been drinking?!!?" --"Okaaay! Looks like we're FINALLY done here now. Not too shabby huh? Hey... wait a minute, where's the cat?" -<>- _..-"""---._ .-" '. .t __ '. /` .\_.--' ; | ' . ; __ __ ; \' ./`--' .`'---'. '--`\ '-'{ . ' .. ' . } \_.._._,.___..___..__/ \_.' / '. .' \ '._/ // \o) )( (o/ \\ \\ / \ // /\_, .\__/. ,_/\ / /(_.' '._)\ \ ; \ /\ / ; |) '---'`\/`'---' ) | | } { }| ; { ( ) ; \( ( / jgs '. } ) .' `"-...__...-"` As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. "You can't do that," argued my four-year-old. "Don't worry. Santa will never know." He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?" -<>- My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!" "Don't worry," David replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody." "They did," said the voice. -<>- `. ---)..( ||||(,o) ptr "`'" \__/ While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes. She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning. Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash. All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!" ========================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: Seem to be or not seem to be.... \ ,,,,,, /e ''( (_ ` \ ___> \ / ,_\-.___ \_ / _)/ / \ | \ / ` _ | __\____/ / ' | / _ /______/ / _/ \,_____/o ( \__)/` \ / \__________/_/_ _/ \ \ )/ \ / / | /\ ( \_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \ ______/_/___|_| ) \ / / o\ o\ / / /\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,, >Shallow Thoughts for the week Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. Bureaucracy is a challenge to be overcome by a righteous attitude, tolerance for stupidity and a bulldozer when necessary. We've got the best government money can buy. Think about that for awhile. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal. Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live, taking the form of readiness to die. - G.K. Chesterton -<>- __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| >In The Year 2035 Headlines - Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be finally be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. - Spotted Owl plague threatens western American crops and livestock. - Afghanistan still closed off, physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. - George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. - 35 year study: diet & exercise is the key to weight loss. - Nursing Home event: Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with a candy machine. - Baby conceived naturally - scientists stumped. - Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. - Average height of NBA players is 9 feet 7 inches. - Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. - New California Law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by Jan 2036. -<>- From: "Christian 'CeeJay' Jensen" -------------------------------------------------------- 1 U P H I G H S C O R E ______3_4_0-0._________5_0_0_0_0_______.--.___________ [%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%[CJ]%%%%%%%%%%%] /"\ A /"\ === /_\ A === \_/ __ /_\ \_/ |%| __ __ __ [%%] __ __ __ |%| /"\ __ [##][##][##][%%][@@][@@][@@] __ /"\ === [##][##][##][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] === \_/ __ [##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@] __ \_/ |%| [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] |%| |%| [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] |%| /"\ [##][##][##][__][__][__][__][__][@@][@@][@@] /"\ === [%%] [%%] [%%] [%%] [%%] === \_/ [%%] \_/ |%| [%%] |%| |%| __ [%%] |%| /"\ [%%] __ [%%] /"\ === [%%][%%][%%] === \_/ [%%] \_/ |%| O |%| |%| |%| /"\ /"\ === === \_/ \_/ |%| |%| /"\ ______ /"\ === (______) === \_/ \_/ |%| {=}{=} |%| -------------------------------------------------------- The level on display here is level 3 - The Umbrella Level The small cones .. for thoose who haven't played ARKANOID are little thingies (lets not get too technical here CeeJay .. yup .. great explaination).. that float around making your life miserable by hitting the ball causing it to change direction. >Murphy's Laws Of Computers/Gaming -------------------------- 1. When computing/gaming, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer/game, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer/game. 9. A complex system/game that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system/game that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer/game problems is computer/game solutions. 11. A computer/game program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do. -<>- ___ /` `'. / _..---; | /__..._/ .--.-. |.' e e | ___\_|/____ (_)'--.o.--| | | | .-( `-' = `-|____| |____| / ( |____ ____| | ( |_ | | __| | '-.--';/'/__ | | ( `| | '. \ )"";--`\ / \ ; |--' `;.-' jgs |`-.__ ..-'--'`;..--'` >Something for mom The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he said, "OK, you can ask for something but it has to be for someone other than yourself. What do you want for Christmas?" "Something for my mother," said the young lady. "Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? " Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!" -<>- _ ,={ }.._, _.-"` { } a j-,_ {}'----.{_}``};_ __/ `/( `'--.._,_ /\ `'---;--'-;` / /'. _,\ | | )-'` _} |-\ {_,.-'` \ `" \_\_, \ /__/\.-'`} {___}',-"`\ .-"\ / | `-. \.__.-" / - . | / _..-`""` _,`~ ~- `~, -~ ^`- ~^ jgs `~ _/;-"" , = -~ ~- ^ ` ` ~^ ` ~-"` =~ =~ =~^ ~^ - ~ ~^- ~ `^ - ` -. ` ^ - ^- `~,_ ,`==,_ _,~``'` ~, ,=. ^ ~^ - ~ - ~- ` ~ "~ ~ =~^ `~ ` `,_ , ` ~-^ ` ~^ ~^ -~^ ^~ -~^ -~ `^ ~~ -~ >Stupid, but I bet you laugh... 1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the heck out of it. 2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam. 3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE? Polaroids. 4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick 5. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho cheese 6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinate Clauses. 7. WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quatro sinko. 8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk 9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite. 10. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck 11. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can roast beef 12. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE? Because it scares the dog 13. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC? Sanka. 14. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location of the Dirt Bag. 15. WHY DOES A PILGRIMS PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hat. 16. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it. 17. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it. 18. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet. 19. WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP. An Amish drive-by-shooting. 20. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME? Somebody's gonna lose a trailer ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Snow Fun! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowfun.html Morning After Te Party! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/afterparty.html Comedy In Nature 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comedyinnature2.html World's Tallest SnowWoman! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/snowwoman.html To Leash Or Not To Leash? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leashkids.html When Artists Get Bored 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored3.html Shopping With Men! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html Look Who's Talking 16! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking16.html Cave Sculpture Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/caveart.html Nanny Animals 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals4.html Right Angle Photography 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto5.html Record Christmas Lights! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recordlights.html Morons At Work 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork5.html World's Coldest City http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/coldestcity.html Animal Pinups! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pinup.htm Hey, If It Fits 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fits2.html Christmas & New Year Index! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) The latest news about VOTER FRAUD!!!!!!!!!! GOOD NEWS FOR THE REPUBLICANS - BAD NEWS FOR THE LYING DEMOCRATS AND THE FAKE NEWS: Latest From Giuliani — Something is cooking, ‘you’re gonna find it all out at once’... https://tinyurl.com/yb6phqq9 --- ...Brazen! Thanks LouiseAu! They've uncovered so much it is amazing that this went on! -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Techno Mix Christmas 2010 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXr_G92HU6Q --- ...Lights are awesome! Thanks LouiseAu! Here's more fun lighted ones... 2017 Star Wars Christmas Light Show - A Dubstep EDM Remix of Darth Vader’s Imperial March https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4thVCspAfK4 Best of Star Wars Music Light Show - Home featured on ABC's Great Christmas Light Fight! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5dfpe_-Lgg Entire Neighborhoods Battle for Best Christmas Light Display https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMl_81o-aQg The Piano Guys share with us a wonderful music video of Silent Night featuring tenor legend Plácido Domingo. The music video was filmed in the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine in New York City, one of the largest cathedrals in the world, and also features the children from the Cathedral School Choristers singing Silent Night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMvURdq8V6U --- ...So sweet! They have such a talent! Thanks LouiseAu! Here's More fun ones from them... Angels We Have Heard on High (Christmas w/ 32 fingers and 8 thumbs) - The Piano Guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n543eKIdbUI Charlie Brown Medley - The Piano Guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyPDQpel8bI "Jurassic Park Theme" - 65 Million Years In The Making! - The Piano Guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pvci1hwAx8 ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The biggest dog in the world lives in the U.K. and on its hind legs stands at 7 feet, 6 inches tall. When asked if he likes being taken for a walk, his owner said, 'I love it.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien "A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door." -Seth Meyers "A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat." -Conan O'Brien "The mayor of Boston actually had to issue a statement yesterday telling residents to stop jumping from their second-story windows and rooftops into giant piles of snow. Do NOT do that at home...unless you have a camera ready." -Jimmy Fallon "United Airlines just announced a new plan where you will have to pay to store a carry-on in the overhead bin. What's next? 'In case of a water landing, your seat can be used as a flotation device for only $129. Major credit cards accepted.'" -James Corden "According to a new report, the cost of all the gifts listed in 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' song is up $233 from last year. Man, that Lords a Leaping union is killing us." -Conan O'Brien __ .'` `'. / \ _ ; __.'` `'. | .'` `'. \ ; / HAPPY \ ; \; NEW ; | | Y E A R | ; _ ; 2 0 2 1 ;-./-_-` '-. /\ /_(;'/ `\() '. ; '.__ .'\|| ' | '. | ),\| \\ \() (\ ; \ \|/ __/ () \ __ \ \||\.~'_ `'.;-.___.~'` _'~. '.__ _/|/|/{ (_`.' '.`_) } `)/`\\\\ \ .' _ 0_._0 _ '. / .,_ \|| } -.' (_) '.- { _{ `\ \|{_ / '.___|___.' \ } //`._ | /` \ | | } }:'-. ()``'"--..==, { ,} \-"-/ .' } {,`-'. (//>`\> {` _./|\._. '-' ._ .~` /` ;'.() //> |> { {///( `-.-.-` ) _.' / '. ||> /> \ \|\);--`( )`--`(` } `\\>_.'> ; _/`/(__.'/`-'.,__/`, .` `"""` .-'` ;-.( \_(; \ .' .--, (`-._ ./ ` '. `-._..~` /o\\ jgs `'-;/``. `;-"`: |oo|| .--._ _.' . \ o ; . | /| /.-. ` . '._ _.' ' \_// ||oo\ `. `'-----` _.~`--..__,..' |\o | .~`'--......--' \'._/ _.~` `.__.-' >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $25 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all web site list readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe **********************************************************************