Did I Ever Tell You... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
================
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
________ _________
\________\--------___ ___ ____----------/_________/
\_______\----\\\\\\ //_ _ \\ //////-------/________/
\______\----\\|| (( ~|~ ))) ||//------/________/
\_____\---\\ ((\ = / ))) //----/_____/
\____\--\_))) \ _)))---/____/
\__/ ((( (((_/
Andrew Fabbro | -))) - ))
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011
Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click
on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up.
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html
OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
Van Wert, OH 45891
*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY!
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
Our friend Sharon sent us an awesome video that fit in
perfectly with one of our pages. I couldn't resit adding
it to it here...
'
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. . : . .
'. ______ .'
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jgs `'-._|_|;:;_.-'` '::. `"-
.:;. .:. ::. '::.
Farmers Gone Wild!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/farm.html
Sharon wrote...
You can bet that I will be using this trick!
For those of us who love corn on the cob, this is an
absolute must see! No mess to preparing it, no silks
to try to brush out of the corn, it comes out clean.
Please watch.
A useful technique you might enjoy learning,
that is, if you like corn on the cob.
---
...Ditto! Very impressive Thank You Sharon!
I thought it was cool too that this gentleman took to
the microwave so skillfully - Paul's parents have one
but keep it unplugged and never use 'the newfangled'
thing!
-<>-
I was showing my grand kids one of our funny animal pages
and found out the video was not working on it so I got busy
and updated it with a delightful funny fat cat one. Check
it out here...
.-.
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;### ((.;;.)) ##:
.=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=,
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---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l
`-""-'
Stuck Animals
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html
That's the problem with adding videos to the page. They add
a lot to the entertainment of the page, but they often get
removed by the user or discontinued or barred for some reason.
PLEASE If you find a page with a bad or not working video,
please let me know the title of the page so I can fix it.
email me here with it:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
-<>-
>2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This first Scorching hot one is from our friend Linda.
It is one of those amazing ones you have to see to
believe! Check it out here...
/(_
/_ (_
/ O \
|_. |
\ |
| |\
/ | \
| \ (-.\ fish walking
_)\ \ (
)_/\ \_(
\ /
) ( _ _ _
/ _ \ /'\/'\'\
/ _// / \(/\(/(/
\\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./<.
Lc.
True Fish Tale!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishrescue.html
---
...Awesome! Thank You Linda!
This next too hot to handle one comes from our friend Jo Ann.
I can't resist Maxine. She is such a fun character! Jo Ann
sent us a forward of some bust your gut funnies. Check them
out here...
,
/'\
|.;
,_ ;;| _,
\ '-.|'|.-' /
__'.`_\;/_`.'__
`._ - =.'. = -_.`
.-'``/|\``'-.
jgs ``'` | `'``
Maxine On Fall
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonfall.html
---
...Oh what a fun page! Thank You Jo Ann!
=============================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
How Do YOU Eat An Oreo Cookie?
_.:::::._
.:::'_|_':::.
/::' --|-- '::\ Psychologists have discovered that the manner
|:" .---"---. ':| in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great
|: ( O R E O ) :| insight into their personalities. Choose which
|:: `-------' ::| method best describes your favorite method of
\:::.......:::/ eating Oreo's:
jgs':::::::::::'
`'"""'`
1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite
afterwards.
4. In little feverish nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.
Your Personality:
1. The whole thing...
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with,
exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally
irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.
2. One bite at a time...
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their
Oreo's this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but
that's ok, not to worry, you're normal.
3. Slow and Methodical...
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very
meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of
being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast
lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.
4. Feverish Nibbles...
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always
have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental
break downs and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would
do you good.
5. Dunked...
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar
coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good
ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You
have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.
6. Twisted apart, eat the inside, and then the cookie...
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things
apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them
back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities.
You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive
liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.
7. Twisted apart, eat the inside, and then toss the cookie...
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you
want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack
feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's
ok, you don't care, you got yours.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside...
You enjoy pain.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them...
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help
immediately.
10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies...
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and
go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the
things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like
to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.
===================================================================
+------------ Bizarre Celebrity Hypochondriacs ------------+
Howard Hughes was so obsessed with health that he once
wrote out nine-step instructions to his housekeepers on
how to open a can of fruit. He used Kleenex tissues on
everything, and refused to touch doorknobs or let other
people use his bathroom. He even kept a urine collection,
purportedly for medical testing.
Charles Darwin was a life-long hypochondriac who kept
a daily diary for six years that featured a running
commentary on the state of his health.
Napoleon Bonaparte had a lifelong fear and hatred of
medicine. To combat his hypochondria, he took steaming
hot baths, and developed meticulous grooming habits. He
suffered a plethora of maladies, most of them the result
of stress, including: skin disorders, ulcers, dysuria,
and a nervous cough.
Alfred Lord Tennyson was beset by seizures, fits and
trances, which included seeing animals floating across
his field of vision. He was obsessed with going bald and
blind. Among the treatments he sought was a radical form
of water therapy called hydropathy, which included being
rolled naked into blankets and then plunged into water.
Essayist H.L. Mencken suffered an obsessive-compulsive
need to continually wash his hands. Among his real-or-
imagined maladies was a chronic sore throat, hives, low
blood press-ure, lumbago, sinus infections, ulcers, and
hemorrhoids.
==========================================================
>-->From TheMouthPiece:
__ __ __
\ \ / / ,'__`.
\ ` / / / \ \ ___
| | \ \__/ / /:;'`
|_| `.__,' :::\
_________ ;:::\
_.-'',' : `.``-._ _..::::::::.._
,-'___ ; : : ___`-. `'::::::::::''
,',',---`. : ,'---.`.`. _):::::(_
/ /,'::::::\ ,^. /::::::`.\ \ |::::::::::
/ ,`--...___/ /:::\ \___...--'. \ |:::::::::|
/ : : /_____\ : : \ :::::::::::
: : : : : : : ;:::::::::::
| : : ___ : ___ : ; | ::::::::::::|
| _:..-'_'.-.\__:__/,-.`_`-..:_ | :::::::::::::
: :.--'''::::::`---'::::::```--,; ; \:::::::::;'
\ \\:::::::::::::::::::::::::// / :::::::::|
\ \\:::___:::::::::::___:::// / |:::::::::
\ `::|--:\:::::::::/;--|:;' / ;:::::::::\
`. `' \\_______// '' ,' ::::::::::::\
`-._`. ``-----'' ,'_.-' |:::::::::::::
`-.._`.___,'_..-' ;::::::::::::|
____ _ _ __ __ ____ _ _ _ __ _ ::::::::::::::|
| _ \ | | | || \ / || _ \ | |/ /| || \ | | |:::::::::::::|
| |_) )| | | || . ` , || |_) )| ' / | || . \| | |:::::::::::::|
| __/ | |_| || |\_/| || __/ | . \ | || |\ ' | |::::::::::::::
|_| `.___,'|_| |_||_| |_|\_\|_||_| \__| ;::::::::::::::\
_ _ _____ _ ____ ::::::::|\:::::::\
| | | || ___| / \ | _ \ |:::::::||\::::::::
| |_| || |_ / _ \ | | \ \ |:::::::|| :::::::|
| _ || _|_ / ___ \ | |_/ / ::::::::|| |::::::;
|_| |_||_____|/_/ \_\|____/ SSt `:::::;'' ::::::/
\::;'
>Top Ten Halloween Things That Sound Dirty but Aren't
10. She's a goblin.
9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
8. Let me see your bag... Oh! your having a great night.
7. Just get on your knees and bob your head.
6. She's got a nice couple of pumpkins on her porch.
5. If you just lick it, it will last longer.
4. Show me your Jujubes and I'll show you my Zag Nuts.
3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
2. You scared me stiff.
1. He's got candy spread out on the floor.
-<>-
_...---..._
,'_ _`.
/ / `. ,' \ \
: \___`._,'___/ :
_ | .. /_\ ,, | _
/ \ : \`-.___.-'/ : /,\
/,' \ \ `._____,' / /: \
|O) | `.__..---..__.' || ,|
_ || .| _ _ _ || O| _ _ _ |' || _
/,\ |'| | /.\ /;\ /,\ |' ;| /'\ /.\ /,\ | ,O| /`\
_|_|_|___|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_'_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|___|_|_|_
-=o===-. __ -___/___\___ ,-==O==-' _ -.__ --- _
___,-___-___`_| |___.__-o__'_________-.__
|,| | ; | |||| HAPPY || | | |,| |'| | ,|| |`|
|o| | | | |'|| HALLOWEEN!|| |;| ||| |,| | |'| |;|
_|_|_|___|_|_||___________||_|_|_|_|_|_|_|___|_|_|_
__,--. -.__,--. `-==O=-._ ._ ,- -- _ --=o=-._
____-o_______-__-'___`_-________.___-______,-._____
|,| |,-'| |,| |;| |o| |'-.| |,| |(| |`| |,-'| |,|
SSt/jrei
>Top Ten Reasons You Won't Win the Halloween Costume Contest
10. After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you
began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn't such a good idea.
9. "Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn't I
think of that?"
8. You can't get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to
stay down.
7. Looks like "Viagra Man" will be spending Halloween in jail
for indecent exposure.
6. Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw
in your plan of dressing up as the hostess's dead husband in
order to get laid.
5. The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small
round butt, not the other way around.
4. 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in
Atlanta could only lead to getting your butt whupped, Homeboy.
3. Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more
nauseating than scary.
2. The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction
Byproduct" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume.
1. *Nobody* likes a farting clown.
-<>-
>Top Ten Differences between Movie College and Real College
10. In movie college there is love, even for the geeky-loser.
In real college that geeky-loser will never get it.
9. In movie college, your rival fraternity is made of a bunch
of rich snobs. In real college, your rival fraternity (if there
is one) is like yours, a bunch of partying drunks.
8. In movie college, a full load entails a massive 2 classes
a week.
7. When you skip all classes all semester, and then decide the
last week of school that you DO really want to graduate, the
whole student body does NOT pitch in to help you study for
those finals.
6. Nerds taking revenge involves less winning homecoming
competitions and more ruining credit ratings.
5. In the movies the dean is a bad man who wants to ruin your
life. In real life you don't have a clue who the dean is.
4. In Movie College, beating the snivelling rich-boy leader
of the powerful frat house in a wacky race is a completely
acceptable alternative for aquiring your degree (and a
beautiful girl).
3. Dorm size, by about 3 acres.
2. College students in movies do lots of binge drinking, random
making out, video-game playing, and very little studying. In
real life, there's a lot more going to the bathroom.
1. Movie College: Hot teachers. Real College: Sweaty Teachers.
===========================================================
>-->From our Friend Johanna :)
`'.
.`' ` * .
: * *| :
' | || '
`|~'||'
v~v~v~v
!@!@!@!
_!_!_!_!_
| || ||
| || |||
}{{{{}}}{{{
ejm97 __||__
>CAKE OR BED
A MAN IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND INTERRUPTS,
HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE, THEN THE SHE ASKS, WELL THEN,
COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX
THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK
I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS.
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED
HIS GIRLFRIEND, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND
CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT
WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I
HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR
BAKE HIM A CAKE.
HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO..
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!
Live,Love,Laugh
---
...Oh MY! LOL! A Good One! Thanks Johanna!
========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
During my physical yesterday, my doctor asked me about my daily
activity level, and so I described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday morning,
I waded along the edge of a lake,
Escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
Marched up and down several rocky hills,
Stood in a patch of poison ivy,
Crawled out of quicksand, and
Jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake."
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be some
outdoors man!"
'\ . . |>18>>
\ . ' . |
O>> . 'o |
\ . |
/\ . |
/ / .' |
jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"No," I replied "I'm just a crappy golfer."
---
...LOL! Thank You Linda!
-<>-
()._
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/ ___\ |/ ___V__{(_
| ' \| || ,'-===- `,'|
__| ,' /| || |""""""""|-L|
,`__. < _)))_))) |________|,'
gnv (,' ool
>Think About This...
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Time's fun when you're having flies.
- Kermit the Frog
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
You know why a banana is like a politician?
When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten.
I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we
could identify their corporate sponsors.
---
...yeah - they crash and burn like NASCAR drivers too!
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
- Albert Einstein
---
...LMAO! Great ones! Thanks Linda!
============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From AFA
NJ school bullies Christian teacher over Facebook posts
http://tinyurl.com/3wr397u
-<>-
>From The TeaParty.net
We Are Not 'Occupy'
http://tinyurl.com/3b8cm8f
Herman Cain and the 9-9-9 Plan will Defeat Barack Obama
http://tinyurl.com/3sayurc
Tea Party Newsletter: Government Killing Jobs!
http://tinyurl.com/4y2g6yh
It Gave Me Goosebumps
http://tinyurl.com/3qd8c98
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
I have been pleased to see this Occupy Wall Street movement spread
from New York to cities around the country. These protestors may not
know exactly what they are protesting about, but they know something
is wrong and they know they have the right to voice their
dissatisfaction about it. I have said may times that if you don't
know your rights you don't have any. And that goes for exercising
them, too.
When I read that a group of malcontents had organized an Occupy
Chicago movement I decided to nip downtown and check it out for
myself.
It was a little disappointing compared to the footage of the crowded
and boisterous Occupy Wall Street demonstration in New York. The small
crowd of maybe a hundred, concentrated on LaSalle Street close to
the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago was subdued, but they seemed
determined.
I spent a couple hours talking to the demonstrators and trying to
get a feel for their reasons for being out there. Several people
expressed a sort of unfocused and undefined frustration and anger
toward what they saw as the establishment exploiting the little guy.
And while they are basically right they did not know who or what to
to direct their anger toward.
I did talk to one man who had a good grasp on the overall problem,
that being the entire banking system from the top down, starting
with the Federal Reserve. That and the rarefied worlds of super-big
business and big government in collusion with each other to create
a 'captive' consumer.
"It's no coincidence," he said to me, "that we're demonstrating
outside of the Federal Reserve."
To those in the know marching in the "Occupy" demonstrations, the
Federal Reserve is one of the arch criminals, where the worlds of big
government and big business meet and where their hand reaches
deepest and most subtly into the pockets of the little guy.
"If we get people to wake to the fact that their government has been
bought and paid for, that will be the first step in fixing the
problem."
I can only hope so.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
---
...My Two Cents on the 'Occupy' thing...
Capitalism isn't the problem - corruption is. Greed is the corrupter
and it corrupts those in socialism or in capitalism. WEED out the evil
corruption and capitalism is a very fine form of government that has
served America all her life and made it a leading country. Get down
to the heart of the matter and you won't blame our problems on those
who make money but rather you will see the problem is with those who
steal from hard working people for their own greedy gain.
*-- Woman, 90, makes White Castle Hall of Fame --*
READING, Ohio - An Ohio woman who has been patronizing the same White
Castle restaurant for more than 80 years is being inducted into the
company's Hall of Fame. The fast-food chain said Constance Huening, who
was born in 1921, the year the first White Castle opened in Wichita,
Kan., was chosen along with 11 other people from hundreds of applicants
to be inducted into the Hall of Fame Thursday at the chain's Columbus,
Ohio, headquarters, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported Wednesday. Huening
said she eats a White Castle burger every New Year's Day for good luck,
and this year she celebrated her 90th birthday by visiting the same
Reading, Ohio, location where she and her siblings purchased sliders
during the 1920s. "They still taste good," Huening said.
*-- Police: Frozen armadillo used in attack --*
DALLAS - Dallas police said they were searching for a man accused of
striking a woman twice with a frozen armadillo while negotiating about
the price of the carcass. Police said the man was attempting to sell
the frozen armadillo to a 57-year-old woman in an apartment complex
parking lot Sept. 29, but the pair argued about the price of the
animal, which the woman planned to cook and eat, KDFW-TV, Dallas/Fort
Worth, reported Wednesday. The man threw the armadillo at the woman
twice, causing bruises to her leg and chest, police said. Investigators
said the man could face assault charges if he is identified.
=====In 2009=====
-- Man dragged by train calls 911 --------------
TORONTO - A Canadian man managed to call 911 on his
cellphone as he was being dragged by a moving train in
Toronto's West End, authorities said. The man told police
he had been drinking with friends in a parked container
car when it began to move and his leg slipped through an
opening and was dragged along the ground, The Toronto Star
reported Monday. The train dragged the man for nearly
3 miles, partially severing his foot, before police could
stop the train and free the man, Toronto police Sgt. Tim
Burrows told the Star. The man, in his 20s, was hospitaliz-
ed in serious but stable condition "Trespassing, leading
to misadventure, leading to ouch!" Burrows said.
-- Boy, 3, floated river in toy truck -------------
FORT ST. JOHN, British Columbia - Canadian authorities say
a 3-year-old boy who drove his toy truck into the Peace
River floated several miles before being rescued. Royal
Canadian Mounted Police Constable Greg Nardi of Fort St.
John said the boy was camping with his parents when he
rode off in his battery-powered toy truck about 7:30 a.m.
Sunday, The Province of Vancouver, British Columbia,
reported Monday. Nardi said a boater reported seeing the
boy and his truck floating in the river about 7 1/2 miles
from the camp site about 2 1/2 hours later. "Everybody
was a little frantic at the time," Nardi said. "I was
surprised that the truck was floating at all." Nardi said
the toddler appeared to be in good shape, though the
constable and his partner drove him to a hospital to be
checked out. "I think he was more excited about being in
a police car (than he was about his rescue)," Nardi said.
-- Amtrak mooning draws crowd of 1,000 ----------
LAGUNA NIGUEL, Calif. - Officials in Laguna Niguel, Calif.,
said increased law enforcement did not stop about 1,000
people from participating in the city's annual Mooning of
Amtrak. Police Chief Lt. Andy Ferguson said Saturday's
event was far calmer than last year, when police witnessed
public intoxication, urination and defecation among the
crowd of 8,000 to 10,000 people showing their rear ends
to passing trains, the Orange County (Calif.) Register
reported Monday. Jim Amormino, a spokesman for the Orange
County Sheriff's Department, said three vehicles were towed
during the Amtrak mooning but no arrests were made. City
officials had earlier announced that enforcement of laws
including those banning public drunkenness and parking
ordinances would be stepped up during this year's event.
"The crowds have been very mellow. I didn't see any major
violations -- public drunkenness or anything," Amormino
said. "It's nothing like last year." Mayor Robert Ming
hailed the increased law enforcement during the event as
a success. "Locals who wanted to do their thing, did their
thing, and the people from out of town didn't come. This
is exactly what we were hoping for," Ming said.
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouthPiece:
______________________________________________________________
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| | | |
| | | |
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DINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDING
>You Know You Live in a Small Town When...
~Third Street is on the edge of town.
~You don't use your turn signals because everyone knows where
you are going.
~A baby born on June 14 receives gifts from local merchants as
the first baby of the year.
~You speak to each dog you pass by name and he wags his tail
at you.
~You drive into the ditch five miles out of town and the word
gets back before you do.
~You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
~You can't walk for exercise because every car that passes
you offers you a ride.
~You miss a Sunday at church and receive a get-well card.
~Someone asks you how you feel and listens to what you say.
===========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
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While hiking in the mountains one day I came across a gorgeous gorge
that I thought was an echo canyon. I shouted, "Hello there." But the
response sounded to me like, "Hello where?"
I tried again. "How do you do?"
A moment later the report came back sounding like, "How do I do what?"
Baffled and amused I decided to give it the ultimate test. "You're not
really an echo canyon, are you?"
The response from the big ditch confirmed my suspicions. "Brilliant
deduction, Einstein."
-<>-
A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from the cleaners.
"Pretty," said one of the guys. "Big date tonight?"
"I picked it up for a friend," she replied, adding, "Do you really
think I could fit in a tiny thing like this?"
Jerry smiled and said, "Do you really think I've lived this long by
answering questions like that?"
-<>-
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company.
"Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied.
"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"
"I really don't have any," I said.
"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.
"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I
parried.
There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a
husband?"
-<>-
On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a
father pointing out a well-known building to his son. "You see that
triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon."
-<>-
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Our son lived at home all four of his undergraduate years. He moved out
only when he went to grad school and got an apartment. The first time
my husband and I went to see his new place, Matt greeted us, saying,
"I'm glad to finally be the host."
As we walked in the door, my husband whispered to me, "Instead of the
parasite."
-<>-
I'm the postmaster for a small town in Pennsylvania. One of my
regular customers, Jeff, bought several sheets of newly released
commemorative stamps.
Soon after he left, a woman came in carrying two crisp sheets of
Harry Houdini stamps she'd found in the parking lot.
The next morning, I gave Jeff the sheets of stamps he'd lost.
"You know," Jeff said to me, "I'm not at all that surprised the
Houdini stamps reappeared."
-<>-
____ ____
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[Mash]
Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my
six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What's this?" she
asked.
"It's a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I
added, "It's for holding up stockings."
"Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we'll use it
next Christmas Eve."
-<>-
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was
recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls
were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press
their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the
girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something
had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the
maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a
major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every
night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she
asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was
required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and
cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
-<>-
_
|-|
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Sitting in the first row of coach class during a lengthy flight, my
wife and I were able to hear a flight attendant as he pushed a wine
cart down the aisle in the first-class section. "Would you care for
chardonnay or burgundy?" he asked the high-paying passengers.
A few minutes later the attendant opened the curtain between the two
sections, offered wine to one final first-class patron, then wheeled
the same cart forward to our aisle. "Excuse me," he said, looking down
at us, "would you care for a glass of wine? We have white and red."
-<>-
A minor league ballplayer, left in charge of a baby cousin, suddenly
realized that he did not have the least idea how to change a diaper.
Frantically, he called a friend who was luckily a father.
The friend calmed down the ballplayer, then gave him the following
instructions. "Place the diaper in the position of a baseball diamond,
with you at bat. Fold second base over home plate. Place baby on
pitcher's mound, then pin first base and third base at home plate!"
===============================================================
>-->From LaughAndLift:
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A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
"Until we have learned to be satisfied with fellowship with God, until
he is our rock and our fortress, we will be restless with our place in
the world." - Erwin W. Lutzer
Almost persuaded to be a Christian is like the man who was almost
pardoned, but he was hanged, like the man who was almost rescued, but
he was burned in the house. A man that is almost saved is damned."
- Charles Haddon Spurgeon
The Lift
\ ___/________
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Banged Up But Running Well
(By Ron Hutchcraft)
During two weeks that I call "The Ice Age" in our area, a car slid into
our vehicle in a parking lot. So the right side looked pretty ugly.
Interestingly enough, that damage didn't affect the performance of our
car at all. Like so many older cars we've had over the years, the
outside was banged up but the engine was running fine.
I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about
"Banged Up But Running Well."
It's possible for you and me to run that way, too. Did you know that?
Hit hard and dented on the outside, but still running strong on the
inside. A hit to the chassis doesn't have to mean a hit to the engine,
and that's what keeps you going.
This "banged up but running well" phenomenon is explained in our word
for today from the Word of God. In 2 Corinthians 4, beginning in verse
16, Paul says, "We do not lose heart." Now, that's pretty significant
in light of the fact that earlier in the chapter he tells us about
their being "hard pressed on every side, perplexed, persecuted, struck
down." But in spite of all those hits, they are not "crushed," he says,
or "in despair" or "abandoned" or "destroyed." If you've taken some
hits lately, you might be interested in how Paul keeps his engine
running so smoothly.
2 Corinthians 4:16 says, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet
inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary
troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them
all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For
what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Just because
you're battered on the outside doesn't mean you have to be battered on
the inside. Just because you're running down on the outside doesn't
mean you have to run down on the inside. Just because you're body is
sick doesn't mean your Spirit has to be sick. You can lose your job,
your health, your loved one, your stuff, but you don't have to lose
HEART! That's a CHOICE you make!
Paul has come to know his Lord as the Renewer; the One Who refuels and
refreshes his Spirit each new day. Remember, God has promised that
those who are weary and weak but wait on Him will "renew their
strength" and "soar on wings like eagles" (Isaiah 40:31). How does it
happen? First, you get God's perspective. That perspective recognizes
the difference between what about this situation is "temporary" and
what about this situation is "eternal." We can say of any earth-burden
what my wife and I used to say when our kids were going through the
roller coaster junior high years, "TTSP" - "This too shall pass." That
perspective makes the burdens bearable. They're heavy, they hurt, but
they're only hurt for a little while.
Secondly, you have to focus on God's payoff. Paul refuses to get mired
in the present troubles; they are temporary. He focuses instead on the
"eternal glory" that's going to be his for being victorious through
these troubles. He tells us to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but
on what is unseen...what is eternal." At that point, your troubles
suddenly seem relatively "light and momentary," as Paul says.
A car can be hit hard and it can be all banged up, but that doesn't
have to affect its performance. It's the condition of the engine that
counts. You can be hit hard and all banged up, but it doesn't have to
affect your performance. It's the condition of your Spirit that counts!
And God stands ready to jump start your Spirit each new day if you'll
FOCUS on your Lord and NOT on your load!
[Permission to distribute this material via email, or individual
copies, is automatically granted on the condition it will be used for
non-commercial purposes, and will not be sold. To reproduce "A Word
With You" transcripts in any other format, including Internet websites,
written permission is needed.]
-<>-
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Follow the Leader
(Author Unknown, Provided by Student Discipleship Ministries, TX)
In Everyday Discipleship for Ordinary People Stuart Briscoe wrote about
a fellow minister who was asked to officiate at a funeral for a war
veteran. Briscoe recalls, "The dead man's military friends wished to
have a part in the service at the funeral home, so they requested the
pastor to lead them down to the casket, stand with them for a solemn
moment of remembrance, and then lead them out through the side door.
This he proceeded to do, but . . . picked the wrong door. The result
was that they marched with military precision into a broom closet, in
full view of the mourners . . ."
Briscoe suggests at least two principles that can be gained from that
story: "First, if you're going to lead, make sure you know where you're
going. Second, if you're going to follow, make sure that you are
following someone who knows what he is doing!"
Who are you following today? In other words, who are the leaders in
your life? Are they good leaders (leading you to follow God), or bad
leaders (leading you down dead-end streets)? Matthew 4:18-20 (NIV)
says: "As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two
brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting
a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come, follow me,' Jesus
said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their
nets and followed him."
What do you think it means to follow Jesus? How you can follow Him
today.
-<>-
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>Did I Ever Tell You? by Dr. Seuss
Did I ever tell you about the young Zode
Who came to two signs at the fork of a road?
One said: To PLACE ONE. And the other: PLACE TWO.
So the Zode had to make up his mind what to do.
Well....the Zode scratched his head. And his chin. And his pants.
And he said to himself, "I'll be taking a chance
If I go to PLACE ONE. Now, that place may be hot!
And so, how do I know if I'll like it or not?
On the other hand, though, I'll be sort of a fool
If I go to PLACE TWO and find it too cool.
In that case I may catch a chill and turn blue!
So, maybe PLACE ONE is the best. Not PLACE TWO.
On the other hand, though, if PLACE ONE is too high,
I may catch a terrible earache and die!
So PLACE TWO may be best! On the other hand, though....
What might happen to me if PLACE TWO is too low?
I might get some very strange pain in my toe!
So PLACE ONE may be best." And he started to go.
Then he stopped. And he said, "On the other hand, though...
On the other hand...other hand...other hand though....!"
And for 36 hours and 1/2, that poor Zode
Made starts and stops at that fork in the road.
Saying, "Don't take a chance. No! You may not be right."
Then he got an idea that was wonderfully bright!
"Play safe" cried the Zode. "I'll play safe" I'm no dunce!
I'll simply start off for both places at once!"
And that's how the Zode, who would not take a chance,
Got to NO PLACE at all, with a split in his pants!
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-----
A quote that goes with the above:
"There is always risk - when you reach for the beautiful. When you
reach for the lovelier, finer, more fragrant things of life - there is
always a risk - and you can't escape it. The risk is what makes the
Christian life exciting. It is thrilling - make no mistake about it. It
is an adventure. As long as we live in this world, there will always be
a risk in reach. There are timid souls who avoid high places because
they are afraid...But then there are those who avoid high ideals
because they are content with low ones. There are persons who do not
have high ambitions because they are lazy. Jesus remarked upon those
who sought the small and shallow things of life, "Verily, I say to you,
they have their reward." (Matthew 6:2) ---Peter Marshall
-<>-
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The Laugh
>Is Your "Rememberer" Going?
The husband gets up from his chair.
His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen"
She asks, " Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
The husband says, "Sure."
She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so
you can remember it?"
He says, "No, I can remember that!"
She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better
write it down 'cause I know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain you'll forget
that, so you'd better write it down."
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down! I can remember
that! Ice cream with strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles
into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands
his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"
-<>-
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>Ways in Which College is Different from High School
17. In high school, you do homework. In college you study.
16. No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food
must be provided at an event before students will come.
15. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college
on both.
14. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking
at the teacher's guide.
13. In college, there are no bells or tardy slips.
12. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you
get to live with your friends.
11. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you
get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you
have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid
your tuition.
10. In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your way
out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.
9. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in
college, by the pranksters from the dorms.
8. In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade
even than your high school final exams did. (Just to share: Kristin's
Bio class: 30% midterm 1, 30% midterm 2, 40% final; Soc class: 10%
section grade, 40% midterm, 50% final, etc.. ..etc..)
7. In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled
back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it
down.
6. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals
a day.
5. In college, your dad doesn't pay for dates.
4. In high school, it never took 3 or 4 weeks to get money from Mom and
Dad.
3. In college, when you miss a class or two or three, you don't need a
note from your parents saying you were skip... .uh, sick that day.
2. In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed.
In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
1. In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this.
-<>-
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>Quick Jokes
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a
combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the
combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the
pastor's study and asked for help.
The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the
first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he
looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked
back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened
the lock.
The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she
said.
"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of
tape on the ceiling."
---------
Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few
weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the
pool and throw them fish?
---------
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a
can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein
---------
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all
that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,
"Body, how'd you like to go to the nine o'clock vigorous toning class?"
Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen, dummy, do it and you DIE."
-----------
Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down
and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say
something, his wife said, "And what's that supposed to mean?"
And thus, Webster's Dictionary was born.
-----------
PHILOSOFACTS
- A key ring is a handy little gadget thhat allows you to lose all your
keys at once.
- Cleaning your house while your kids arre still growing is like
shoveling the walk before it has stopped snowing.
- I've changed my mind a dozen times. Itt seems to work better now.
--------
Warning label seen on a box of hair coloring:
"Do not use as an ice cream topping."
--------
Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I
appreciate movers who take the time to label carefully boxes they pack
for us.
The accuracy of labels can make a huge difference when we try to
find something right away.
My favorite was done by one guy who attached this sticker to a box
- obviously not knowing how to spell thee best one word description:
"Animals you hit with a stick at a Mexican party."
--------
"How did you lose your job at the dress shop?" a woman asked her
friend.
"Well, after trying on about 25 dresses, the customer said to me,
'I think I'd look nicer in something flowing.'"
"How did that get you fired?" she asked
I suggested, "How about the Mississippi?"
--------
Final PUNishment:
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
|| :-" "-; ||
:; :;
/ .==. .==. \
: _.--._ ;
; .--.' `--' `.--. :
: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' :
'. `--' .'
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
/`- -'\
/`- -'\
:`- .' `. -';
; / \ :
: : ; ;
; ; : :
':_:.' '.;_;'
:_ _;
; "-._ -" :`-. _.._
:_ () _; "--::__. `.
\"- -"/`._ :
.-"-. -"-. ""--..____.'
/ .__ __. \
: / , / "" \ . \ ; bug
"-:___..--" "--..___;-"
I hate to be catty but here they come:
Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!
Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
A: She's got that down in the mouth look!
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: How do you know that cats are insensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only drank condensed milk!
Q: Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
A: There was some money in the kitty!
--------
Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly
bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any
physical sport?"
"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."
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>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
You are The Only You God Has
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
Attitude Is Everything 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude3.html
A Love Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestory.html
Top Reasons To Smile
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smile.html
Chalk Art 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart4.html
Baby Squirrel Finnegan
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finnegan.html
Best Parents!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html
Designer Toilet Paper!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/designertp.html
Halloween Cakes!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hcakes.html
Men Will Be Boys!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html
Tricks For Treats 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats2.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
She Sent us one we have here...
Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/barns.html
---
...Aww, what a nice reminder! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
:From Our Friend Wesley :)
ripped : SAME Café
http://www.soallmayeat.org/
Bon Jovi Soul Kitchen
http://www.jbjsoulkitchen.org/
---
...Nice! Thanks Wesley!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Canard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1231.htm
Candid Camera Russian Style
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1232.htm
Carrier Landing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1233.htm
Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1234.htm
Cat Bird
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1235.htm
Golden Blend
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41215.htm
Cute Redhead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41216.htm
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==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Earlier this week, a protester at Occupy Wall Street proposed to his
girlfriend. His exact words were, 'Will you occupy my parents' basement
with me until I get a job?'" -Conan O'Brien
"A new study ranked the people in Minneapolis as the smartest people in
the U.S. New York didn't even rank in the top 10. That is so
'non-good.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"It's Spirit Day, a day against bullying of all types. There are all
kinds of bullies: Evil dictators, schoolyard bullies, Internet bullies,
wooly bullies." -Craig Ferguson
"The stock market skyrocketed today. See what happens when the banks
and the federal government shut down for a day?" -Jay Leno
"A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000 but only took
$20,000. Police are searching for a man with simple dreams." -Conan
O'Brien
"They're really giving this new 'Footloose' movie a big push. We're all
familiar with the plot. The elders of a small town ban dancing, and
then the youth rise up and kill them and clog dance on their heads."
-Craig Ferguson
"My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a
big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared
reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement." -Sally
Poplin
"The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is
that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet
him." --Richard Jeni
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he
wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in
the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay
them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen."
-Jay Leno
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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FUN URLS
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-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
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