Don't You Hate It When... :) Shangy!
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================
*~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com
The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
_zzzzzzzz_
]@@z__a@@@
~~@@@@@~"
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@@" ]@[
@@z_a@[
`-@@@ _zzzzzz
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____zd@@@@@zzz@@~ ""
)a@@@~~"]@`~~~~~
`~@zz_ ]@
~@@z]@
`@@@@
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]@@@z_
]@L~@@z
]@@ ~@@@_
]@[ `]@[
"@@ )a@'
]@[ ]@@
)a@')a@'
]@@ ]@@ KANGAROO
.a@' -@@zzzze
]@@@@@@[~~~~"
`~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This smoking hot new page is from our friend Linda. Ever wonder
what the houses of leaders look like? This page will take you
around the world to view where many of our government leaders
reside. Check this interesting one out here...
, , , ,
A,|,A A,,,A
|";"| |";"|
T/"\T T/"\T
||#|| ||#||
|'='| t |'='|
|.=.| / \ |.=.|
|(e)|/,n,\|(o)|
=T==='"""""'===T=
||/"\.o.=.o./"\||
|||H||/\T/\||H|||
|||H|||TTT|||H|||
||/8\||TTT||/8\||
... ||/"\|;;:;;|/"\||
;::::; |||T||;;;;;;.,:;:,.,.,.,
;:::;;;||===| /:\ :T:Tn_n_T___n
l42;::_||:::||;;;|||;;|;;|;;|;;
Houses Of Power
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/housesofpower.html
---
...I loved seeing these fine buildings! Thanks Linda!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
()___
()//__/)_________________()
||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/||
||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| ||
||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/||
jgs || |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_||
A small boy is sent to bed by his mother...
[Five minutes later]
"Mom..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
[Five minutes later]
"Mom..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY... Can I have a glass of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
[Five minutes later]
"Mom..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?"
-<>-
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and
the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving
under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and
getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and
went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury
duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that
they were a jury.
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed
the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10
minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The
jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go
home, and everyone waited.
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and
sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the
verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they
got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Heck, they're still
doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
May 8 is Iris Day, No Socks Day, V-E Day and World Red Cross Day /
World Red Crescent Day
May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day and National Teachers Day
May 10 is Clean up Your Room Day, National Receptionist Day
and School Nurses Day
May 11 is Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day
May 12 is Child Care Provider Day or Daycare Provider Day,
Fatigue Syndrome Day, International Nurses Day, Limerick Day
and Military Spouses Day
May 13 is Birth Mother's Day, Blame Someone Else Day, Frog Jumping
Day, International Migratory Bird Day, Leprechaun Day and
National Train Day
May 14 is Dance Like a Chicken Day and Mother's Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_,.......____
_.-' / `-._`-.
,' / / `. `.
,' ___ / _ / __`. `.
/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \
: / /) / / __ / / / L L
| / __,' / / / / / / | |
| / / / / / / / /___ | |
: /_/ / /_/ / /_____/ F F
\ / / / /
`. / / ,' ,'
`./ / _,'_,'
cjr `-.__/______,.;:.-'
>Prescription
Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey,
had to go to the pediatrician. I was impressed
with the way the doctor directed his comments and
questions to my son.
When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are
allergic to?"
Casey nodded and whispered in his ear.
Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription
and handed it to me.
Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse.
Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on
the unusual food drug interaction my son must have.
When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the
label on the bottle.
As per the doctor's instructions, it read:
"Do not take with broccoli."
-<>-
.
|\
/| \
/ | \
.'. | \
'.|_(()))))
((((/.(
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((((_(
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\_\(\ .'\ \ '.
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/ \ \\\ ''---. \_\
/ '.\\\ . ' , '--.'\_
/. .| \-'---- O - \/O'.
(_/ \ \| ) ' . ' |O O \___
/.'.__.'._.' | O|_O O/
/.'. .'. | |O |O O/)
/ O '._.' '.| |_O|_O'/
/ O | ||/ /
/'._________.'| \ )_/
/''.-.-.-.-.-.-| '. \
'.____________.' \ _\
|/ /mrf __'\\
__(,\_\_ _______ ____ __ ____(_'--_)__
>Tell the Truth
The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones, do you understand that
you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but
the truth?"
"I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations ... nothing."
-<>-
>Dumb Robber
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who
just couldn't control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words,
"Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's
not what I said!"
-<>-
>Contemporary Latin Phrases
"Domino vobiscum."
(The pizza guy is here.)
"Sharpei diem."
(Seize the wrinkled dog.)
"Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus."
(Remove foil before microwaving.)
"Il guyus nissanem iste ickye."
(That Nissan guy gives me the creeps.)
"Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum."
(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)
"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
minutus carborata descendum pantorum."
(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)
-<>-
>Stolen Car?
While working in security for a large department store, I was
approached by an elderly gentleman who explained he couldn't find
his car and wanted to report it stolen.
The store has three entrances, so I suggested perhaps he had come
in another way. He insisted he had entered from the south. He gave
me the car's description, and I went out to the parking lot, where
I found the car at the west entrance.
When I returned to the gentleman with the good news, he asked me
if that sort of thing happened often. Unsure what he meant, I asked
him to explain.
"Someone moving cars to different parking spots," he replied.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
_______ ______
' ' ' '
( BUD ) _______ ( WISE )
,_ _____, / \ ,___ __,
| | ER | |
\ | | /
oO)-. \___ ___/ .-(Oo
/__ _\ | /_ __\
\ \( | / | )/ /
\__|\ | ()~() | /|__/
' '--' (-___-) '--' '
==`-'==
Steve
>SMILES
A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk
fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts
rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all
the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop. He
reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.
Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks
forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the
back of the bus. Next stop, the same thing happens. Every time the
bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus
starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back.
A few stops later the drunk exits the bus from the front.
"Hey", shouts the bus driver... "You didn't pay your fare yet!"
The drunk, reeling, shouts back "Why should I?!..... I walked all
the way!"
--------
The young blonde was at the wheel for her first driving lesson. As
she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, "Turn
left here, and don't forget to let the people behind you know what
you're doing." She turned to the students sitting in the back seat
and announced, "I'm going left."
--------
A man walked in a park and wanted to sit down for a while, so he
found the nearest bench and sat down next to a man with a dog at
his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" he asked.
"No." was the reply.
A few minutes later the man reached over to stroke the dog, and the
dog took a huge chunk out of his hand. Nursing his now injured hand
the man first man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
The second man said indignantly, "That's not my dog."
--------
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she
must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday
School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She
replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
-------
A small plane was carrying three passengers over a mountain range
-- an old man, his grandson, and an eminent scientist.
Suddenly, the pilot burst into the cabin, saying 'The engines have
all failed! Grab a parachute and jump from the plane!' With this,
the pilot opened the cabin door and leaps out with his parachute.
To their dismay, the 3 passengers discovered only 2 parachutes
were left in the cabin!
The Eminent Scientist took a pack, saying 'I'm sorry you two, but
I won a Nobel Prize, I am the head of several intellectual Think
Tanks -- honestly, I'm worth more to society than either of you'.
The Eminent Scientist leaps from the plane.
The Old Man turned to his grandson and said, 'My dear boy, take
the last parachute. I've had a good life. Yours has just begun.'
'Don't worry, Grandpa' said the young boy, 'that guy just jumped
out the plane with my backpack.'
--------
Michael Johnson, the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to
a club with some friends.
At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said "Sorry, mate, you
can't come in here -- no jeans."
Michael, quite annoyed at this, retorted, "Don't you know who I am?
I'm Michael Johnson."
"Well, then," the bouncer replied, "it won't take you long to run
home and change, will it?"
--------
Grandma calls and announces that she will be coming by for a visit
in about half an hour. When she comes she is surprised to see her
grandchild running to her. as if possessed, and hugging her with
all his tiny might. "What is it, Eric??"
She asks. "Now that you're here, grandma, we have everything!"
"Whatever do you mean?" inquired the surprised granny.
"When you called, mom said: 'That's all we need right now.' So
now that you're here, we have all we need!"
--------
A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and, with a
little convincing acting, got his papers marked 'M.E.' for
Medically Exempt.
Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At
the end of the examination the doctor stamped 'M.E.' on his papers.
"Does that mean I’m medically exempt?" he asked.
"No," answered the doctor. "M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone
who can wear a truss upside down can certainly ride a camel."
-------
----o-
_____________ %%% , ,%_________
(___________,,) %c >) ,________)
(_________,,) ) = ,______)
(_____,,)/ _/__,,____)
/ \ \__/ /\
/\ | \/\
/__\|' , / \,
< - '====o==, /_\
/ /` |\ __ \
/__,_/ | _/, \____\
// | \/ \ \\
_( \ \ \ \ _/ \
//| \ \ \ |/|
< ` _\ -)
/ |_/ |
| / |_/
/ _, ' /|
\/ \_,--.,
'( )'
/ | | \
|,/ \,/ b'ger
>"Don't You Hate it When..."
You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little
plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the
back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to
find an address.
You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize
it till you walk across your living room rug.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror
and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a
cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get
a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio
but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the
tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire
laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian
finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your
filling.
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 pm instead of 7 am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get
out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a
counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary
because you don't know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in the same store
that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't
find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash
your head on the way up.
---
...LOL! Oh My! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
()
() |
_ | |
| |.'
| '
__ () \
('__`> . \ | /
// -( , `. \ |
/:_ / / ___________
/ /_;\ /____\__________)____________
**/ ) \\,-_ / \\ \ `.
| | \\(\\J \\ \ |
| \_J,)|~ \\ \ ;
\._/' `|_______________,------------+-+-'
`.___. \ ||| / | |
|_..__.'. \ |||/ | |
|| || \_\__ ||| `.|
|| || \_-'=||| ||
-----++--++-------++--------------------++--------
>Jokes
I was preparing to teach a college course on the history of movie
censorship and went to the library to take out films that had been
censored. "Do you have any banned movies in your collection?" I
asked the librarian.
"Oh yes," she answered. "We have some really good ones. What would
you like: Tommy Dorsey? Glenn Miller?"
-<>-
We brought our newborn son, Adam, to the pediatrician for his first
checkup. As he finished, the doctor told us, "You have a cute baby."
Smiling, I said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."
"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-
looking."
"So what do you say to the others?" I asked.
"He looks just like you."
-<>-
Gardner goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home
tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the
garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
“We’re short-handed, Gardner,” the boss replies. “I can’t give
you the day off.”
“Thanks boss,” says Gardner, “I knew I could count on you!”
-<>-
^
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+
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|
A
=== ________
/EEE\ |______|
//EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97
___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______
bye bye
---------- __o
_ ~ ,_ ==c/ -------- _ \<,_
(*)\/(*) (\/\ ------- (*)/ (*)
A thief in Paris planned to steal some Paintings from the Louvre.
After careful planning, he got past security,
stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two
blocks away when his van ran out of gas
When asked how he could mastermind
such a crime and then make such an
obvious error, he replied,
'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole
the paintings.'
I had no Monet
To buy Degas
To make the Van Gogh.'
See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to
someone else....
I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.
---
...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
For The Ladies - Fabio is on FNC with Tucker (and Watter's World)
- He Tells it like it is in California!
Fabio: California Is a 'Mess' Because of Liberal Policies
http://tinyurl.com/krta9ck
This is what happens when you are educated in a Liberal College -
you get super crazy thoughts like this man...
Watters vs. psychologist that claims Trump is mentally ill
http://video.foxnews.com/v/5424724525001/?#sp=show-clips
CNN and the rest of the fake news industry is so afraid of
President Trump that they are refusing to air his campaign ads.
http://tinyurl.com/kalvyue
Trump RIPS Democrats who relied on Russian dossier for attacks!
“it’s a disgrace”
http://tinyurl.com/mbc43vc
From Billy Graham: Hear from Christians standing strong despite
persecution.
http://tinyurl.com/mupcp76
From ReturnToOrder: You may recall that atheist and “ordained
minister” of the “First Atheistic Church of True Science,” Michael
Newdow, is attempting to sue the United States Treasury Department
to remove “GOD” from the country's currency. Encourage the U.S.
Treasury Department to keep “GOD” on our coins and notes...
http://tinyurl.com/m44jdyw
You Think Trump Is Tough On Immigration? – Check Out What This
Leader Has Done
http://tinyurl.com/llg6doq
Way To Go Arizona! Arizona Finds Simple Way To Get Rid Of Entitled
Muslim Refugees: 1,000s LEAVING!
http://tinyurl.com/m33bl3x
ENOUGH!! Livid Father EXPLODES At School Board For Teaching His
Children About Islam [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/mlbe4wn
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Just Got Bad News On Benghazi
http://tinyurl.com/l3l73go
BREAKING: Watch Ted Cruz Absolutely DESTROY FBI Director Comey
At Senate Hearing! (VIDEO)
http://tinyurl.com/nxxkjyx
BREAKING: HUGE!! Trey Gowdy Tells Fox What The House Will Do To
Susan Rice Now That She Refuses To Testify! [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/l33aup3
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Like Magneto told his prison guard in the second X-Men movie,
"Never trust a beautiful woman. Especially one who's
interested in you."
This advice could have been used by at least two suckers in
Florida who were seduced (for lack of a better word) by a
woman who robbed them blind after she convinced them to take
her home.
The scam came to light when one victim recognized the women,
21-year-old Yomna Fouad, outside of a nightclub and alerted
security. They held her until police arrived.
According to the victim, he had met Fouad at another nightclub
in Miami Beach the previous week and took her home with him.
As this kind of thing happens, one thing led to another and
the two made love before the victim passed out.
Police reported that the man said he woke up to find Fouad
gone, along with his clothing, cash and jewelry, including a
Rolex watch. The total loss was about $32,000.
"I woke up drugged, not knowing what happened, and all my
stuff was gone," the man told local news.
Detectives later tied Fouad to another robbery last year.
According to an arrest report, Fouad and a friend met another
victim at yet another nightclub for a similar scam.
Authorities said Fouad is from Columbia, South Carolina,
and identified her job title in the arrest reports as
"prostitute." She is also accused of similar robberies
throughout the East Coast.
Fouad is being held in lieu of a $50,000 bond, which she
should be able to afford after all those Rolex watches she's
stolen.
-<>-
Doctors at a Colombian hospital performed surgery on a woman
who swallowed more than $7,000 in U.S. $100 bills during an
argument with her husband.
The 28-year-old woman told doctors at the Hospital
Universitario de Santander in Bucaramanga that she was
suffering from severe stomach pain after swallowing between
$7,000 and $9,000 in U.S. $100 bills.
The woman said she had raised the money by selling household
electronics and had been planning to use it for a trip to
Panama, but she swallowed the cash out of spite when her
husband demanded a cut of the money during an argument.
"The patient was taken to surgery. Two operations were
performed at the gastric level, at the exit of the stomach
and at the disc part of the intestine," chief of surgery
Dr. Juan Pablo Serrano told Telemundo's Al Rojo Vivo news
program.
He said surgeons successfully removed $5,700 in bills that
were in salvageable condition.
"The rest, which were palpated in the tract, were advanced
into the colon and were expelled in a normal way," he said.
Police said they are currently holding onto the 57 $100
bills removed from the woman's stomach until investigators
can verify she wasn't attempting to smuggle it illegally.
*------ I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie ------*
Customs officials in Arizona said a woman attempting to cross
the border from Mexico disguised $45,000 worth of heroin as
her buttocks. U.S. Customs and Border Protection said the
47-year-old woman, a U.S. citizen from Arizona, was referred
for further inspection when she attempted to cross the border
from Mexico to Nogales in a pedestrian lane. The woman was
searched and investigators discovered she had nearly 3 pounds
of heroin, worth more than $45,000, strapped to her backside
inside her pants. The woman and the seized drugs were turned
over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement's Homeland
Security Investigations.
*--- Police Probing Mystery of Shaven Cats ---*
Residents of a Virginia neighborhood have put up signs
warning pet owners that cats in the area are being abducted
and resurfacing partially shaved. Capt. Kelly Walker of the
Waynesboro Police Department confirmed at least two house-
holds have recently reported finding their indoor/outdoor
cats with their undersides shaved. Walker said the shaving
appears to have been done with some kind of razor. Walker
said the number of targeted cats keeps growing as the
investigation continues. Police said all of the shaven cats
have been domesticated felines owned by neighborhood
residents. Walker gave neighbors clearance to post warning
signs in the neighborhood. "Shaving cats??!!" the signs
read. "Several neighborhood cats have been abducted and had
their lower abdomens and groin areas shaved. If you have
information about this suspicious activity please contact
the police department. Our cats will thank you!"
*--It's Not Like He Was Using His Head For Much Anyway--*
A Colorado teenager suffered injuries and is facing charges
after jumping into an oversized fish tank at a sporting
goods store. Teens across the county have been encouraging
each other to carry out the mischievous prank and upload
the videos of their acts to social media. While most teens
have managed to get away without injury or being caught, one
boy was not so lucky. The teenager, who has not been named,
was at the Bass Pro Shop in Denver, when he went to the
second level of the store. There he climbed over a railing,
and jumped off the ledge and into the aquarium. After
jumping off the 30-foot-high ledge, the teen hit his head on
some rocks and he was injured. The teen was taken to a
hospital, where it was determined that he had cracked his
skull. The store also chose to press charges against the
teen. He will meet with investigators after recovering at the
hospital.
*----- Another Stupid Karate Record Falls -----*
A martial artist in Pakistan added to his collection of world
records by smashing dozens of coconuts using his head. Black
belt Muhammad Rashid set a new Guinness World Record for
"Most green coconuts smashed with the head in one minute" by
slamming his head down and bursting 35 coconuts. In order to
set the record Rashid was required to use his head to smash
each coconut until they began to leak milk. Video shows the
martial artist as he grabbed each coconut with both hands and
sent his head crashing down with a mighty blow until they
began to burst. Rashid is the founder and president of
Pakistan Academy of Martial Arts and holds several other
martial arts world records including "Most drink cans crushed
with elbow in one minute." His new unofficial title is now
"Ol' Coconut Head" Rashid.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bunni :)
_.~._
,~'.~@~.`~.
/ : _..._ : \
{ :,"''))`".: }
`C) 9 _ 9 (-'.._,-"7o-.__
( )(@)( ) /o `.
`-.___.-' `-._ / \
\ / `-' ;`-._,-.
y ,' `---t.,-. \_____
,' /---.__\ _( \--------'
_,\ ,' `-.__.--' `. \_____
'///,-`-' `-------' hjw
>Tips - BABY WIPES
1 roll quilted Bounty paper towels
2 cups warm water
2-3 Tablespoons baby oil
2 Tablespoons baby bath or shampoo
Cut Bounty in half. Mix water, oil and bath well. Place paper
towel roll in air tight container. Pour water mixture over paper
towels. Cover. After 1 hour-pull out cardboard core and replace
lid.
---
...Great one! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
>Interesting:
In the 1800s, the French crafted the modern marshmallow when chefs
realized they could whip marshmallow saw with egg whites and corn
syrup to create a moldable snack.
Fast forward to the 1940s, when Alex Doumak revolutionized the
process by running the ingredients through tubes before cutting
them into equal pieces and packaging them up.
Althaiophobia is The Legitimate Fear Of Marshmallows
---
...Didn't know these! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
__________________
| .__. |
| ._-.. | | | P
| '""' | r
| -.,-_ | 5
|__________________| 9
>Funnies
An air-head spies a letter lying on the doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."
The air-head spends the next 2 hours trying to
figure out how to pick it up.
-------
A young soldier was up before his commanding officer for a reprimand.
After going through a list of his misdemeanors the CO says, "And
another thing, I didn't see you in camouflage practice this
morning."
"Thank you, Sir," the soldier replied.
-------
(O)
(O)
(O)
(O)
(O)
.--._
'---._) (O)
(O) Q Q )
(\_/ c / (_/)
\ \_..--;-'-,--.._/ /
\___.._o---o_..___/
H __H\
\"")\/
|_='-\
/'. )
/ /
/ || /
/ /| |
| | \ \
|___| \___\
|_| \_\
/ ) / )
(__/ (__/RG after snd's mimes
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by a
policeman.
"What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh, yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it."
The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives.
Another man driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow" says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the
test they're giving now!
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Bunni!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
.
.OO
.OOOO
.OOOO'
OOOO' .-~~~~-.
OOO' / (o)(o)
.OOOOOO `O .OOOOOOO. / .. |
.OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO/\ \____/
.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/ \\ ,\_/
.OOOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOO(#/\ /.
.OOOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \\ \/OO.
.OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\ \/OOOO.
OOOOO%%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\_\/\OOOOO
OOOOO%%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO\###)OOOO
OOOOOO%%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO%OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
`OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
.-~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
/ _/ `\(#\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
/ / \ / `~~\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
|/' `\// \\ \OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
`-.__\_,\OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
jgs `OO\#)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
`OOOOOOOOO''OOOOOOOOO'
`""""""' `""""""'
Dear Yucksters,
Anyway...here's the recipe I promised you yesterday. Don't
tell anybody where you got it. I had to threaten the women
who brought it to the party that I would come to the next
party if she didn't give it to me! So this is strictly on
the QT...
TAFFY APPLE PIZZA
Refrigerated peanut putter cookie dough
1 8 oz. bar of softened cream cheese
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 Granny Smith apples
1/4 cup chopped peanuts
caramel topping
cinnamon
Cut off 1/3 of the cookie dough. With remaining dough knead
and then spread out evenly onto round cookie sheet. Bake
according to directions on package. Allow to cool.
Mix cream cheese, brown sugar and vanilla. Spread onto cooled
cookie. Slice and arrange apples onto cookie. Sprinkle nuts
and cinnamon over apples and drizzle caramel topping over all.
I guarantee you will be the hit of the party with this little
crowd pleaser. Well, maybe not as big of a hit as the guy or
girl who brings Jell-O shots, but a pretty big hit.
-<>-
Joe, My wife and daughter were just finishing dinner when my
wife said "I over ate." My daughter (age 4) was not to be out
done said "I over nine!" Thanks for all the laughs. --Rob
-<>-
One morning a customer entered my flower shop and ordered a
bouquet for his wife. "No card is necessary," he instructed
us. "She'll know who sent them." The delivery truck hadn't
even returned to the store when the phone rang. It was the
customer's wife. "Who sent the flowers?" she asked.
After explaining that the customer had requested that no card
be included, I considered the matter closed. But a bit later,
she came rushing in the front door. "You've got to tell me
who sent the flowers," she demanded, "before my husband gets
home for lunch!"
[Contributed to Reader's Digest.]
-<>-
Shortly after arriving at the University of Washington, I
joined some new friends on a trip to nearby Vancouver,
British Columbia. It was my first trip outside the United
States.
At the border, a guard asked how long we would stay in
Canada. Knowing it would be after midnight when we returned,
I asked, "How late will we be able to get back across the
border?"
"Any time, Ma'am," the guard said. "We never close Canada."
-<>-
When the bookie asked the veteran horse player the secret of
his consistent success, the gambler provided a simple
explanation. "I'm just lucky, I guess. I turn to the racing
page, close my eyes and stick a pin in it," he said.
"Lucky!" the bookie exclaimed in disbelief. "But how did you
pick this four-horse combination?"
"Well," the gambler admitted, "I didn't have a pin, so I
used a fork."
-<>-
(The most popular joke among United States respondents)
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local
golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the
green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road
next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his
golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.
His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and
touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
-<>-
A young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time
found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began
undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming
examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments
over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door
and the doctor walked in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, he looked his patient up and
down carefully.
"Miss Jones," he said, "it seems quite obvious that until
today you have never had an eye exam."
-<>-
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to
give a few of your loudest screams?"
Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!"
Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting
room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot-
ball game."
-<>-
As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a
mathematician are placed in separate rooms and left with a
can of food, but no can opener. A day later, the rooms are
opened, one-by-one.
In the first room, the engineer is snoring, with a battered,
opened and emptied can. When asked, he explains that when he
got hungry, he beat the can to its failure point.
In the second room, the physicist is seen mouthing equations,
with a can popped open beside him. When asked, he explains
that when he got hungry, he examined the stress points of
the can, applied pressure, and "pop!"
In the third room, the mathematician is found sweating, and
mumbling to himself, "Assume the can is open, assume the can
is open..."
-<>-
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the
young couple next door and said, "Do you see those two?
How devoted they are? He kisses his young bride every time
they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to," replied the husband, "but I don't know
her well enough."
-<>-
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form
and wrote: "Woof, woof woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof."
The clerk looked the paper and politely told the dog: "There
are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for
the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "that wouldn't make any sense at all!"
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
| \ \ | |/ /
| |\ `' ' /
| ;'aorta \ / , pulmonary
| ; _, | / / , arteries
superior | | ( `-.;_,-' '-' ,
vena cava | `, `-._ _,-'_
|,-`. `.) ,<_,-'_, pulmonary
,' `. / ,' `;-' _, veins
; `./ /`, \-'
| right / | ;\ |\
| atrium ;_,._|_, `, ' \
| \ \ ` `,
` __ ` \ left ;,
\ ,' ` \, ventricle
\_( ;, ;;
| \ `;, ;;
inferior | |`. `;;, ;'
vena cava | | `-. ;;;;,;' FL
| | |`-.._ ,;;;;;'
| | | | ``';;;'
aorta
>The Human Body
Not enough information to become your own physician but enough to
make you a fan favorite at cocktail parties.
The Human Body is a treasure trove of mysteries -- one that still
confounds doctors and scientists about the details of it's working.
It's not an overstatement to say that every part of your body is a
miracle. Here are 50 facts about your body, some of which may
leave you stunned.
1. It's possible for your body to survive without a surprisingly
large fraction of its internal organs. Even if you lose your
stomach, your spleen, 75% of your liver, 80% of your intestines,
one kidney, one lung, and virtually every organ from your pelvic
and groin area, you wouldn't be very healthy, but you would live.
2. During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill
two swimming pools. Actually, Saliva is more important than you
realize. If your saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot
taste it.
3. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the
smallest is the male sperm. The egg is actually the only cell in
the body that is visible by the naked eye.
4. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body; the
jawbone is the hardest bone.
5. Human feet have 52 bones, accounting for one quarter of all
the human body's bones.
6. Feet have 500,000 sweat glands and can produce more than a
pint of sweat a day.
7. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor
blades. The reason it doesn't eat away at your stomach is that the
cells of your stomach wall renew themselves so frequently that you
get a new stomach lining every three to four days.
8. The human lungs contain approximately 2,400 kilometers (1,500 mi)
of airways and 300 to 500 million hollow cavities, having a total
surface area of about 70 square meters, roughly the same area as
one side of a tennis court. Furthermore, if all of the capillaries
that surround the lung cavities were unwound and laid end to end,
they would extend for about 992 kilometers. Also, your left lung is
smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
9. Sneezes regularly exceed 100 mph, while coughs clock in at about
60 mph.
10. A body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a
gallon of water to a boil.
11. A body has enough iron in it to make a nail 3 inches long.
12. Earwax production promotes good ear health. It protects the
delicate inner ear from bacteria, fungus, dirt and even insects.
It also cleans and lubricates the ear canal.
13. Everyone has a unique smell, except for identical twins, who
smell the same.
14. Teeth start growing 6 months before birth. One of every 2,000
newborn infants has a tooth when born
15. A baby's head is one-quarter of its total length, but by the
age of 25 will only be one-eighth of its total length. People's
heads grow at much slower than the rest of their bodies.
16. Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood the number is
reduced to 206. Some bones, like skull bones, get fused into each
other, bringing down the total number.
17. It's not possible to tickle yourself because when you attempt
to tickle yourself you are totally aware of the exact time and
manner in which the tickling will occur, unlike when someone else
tickles you.
18. Less than one third of the human race has 20-20 vision. This
means that two out of three people cannot see perfectly.
19. Your nose can remember 50,000 different scents. If you are a
woman, you are a better smeller than men, and will remain a better
smeller throughout your life.
20. The human body is estimated to have 60,000 miles of blood
vessels.
21. The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first
trimester are frogs, worms and potted plants. Scientists have no
idea why this is so, but attribute it to the growing imbalance of
hormones in the body during pregnancy.
22. The life span of a human hair is 3 to 7 years on average. Every
day the average person loses 60-100 strands of hair. But don't
worry. You must lose over 50% of your scalp hairs before it is
apparent to anyone.
23. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as an
encyclopedia. Your brain uses 20% of the oxygen that enters your
bloodstream, and is 80% water. Though it interprets pain signals
from the rest of the body, the brain itself cannot feel pain.
24. The tooth is the only part of the human body that can't
repair itself.
25. Your eyes are always the same size from birth but your nose
and ears never stop growing.
26. By 60 years of age, 60% of men and 40% of women will snore.
27. We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening,
because during normal activities during the day, the cartilage in
our knees and other areas slowly compress.
28. The brain operates on the same amount of power as 10-watt
light bulb, even while you are sleeping. In fact, the brain is
much more active at night than during the day.
29. Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170
miles per hour. Neurons continue to grow throughout human life.
Information travels at different speeds within different types of
neurons.
__................................_
. ' `-. \ .'`-. `'-.. . '
.' \ `.__.-'`-. \ `. .'
.' `-. `._ .-' \ `.__.----..`. .'
\ _.-'`-. `._.-' / .' /
`._ .-' \ _.-' /--. / : .:'':.
_.-' `.-`-. / `./ | .::' .:'
`-. .'`-. _.-' \ /'` \`. \ ':. .:::' .::'
\ _.' \ .-' `._/\ \ \` `\\ '::' \ .::'
`._ `._-`-. _.-' /`.`.. `. `.\ `.
`-. .-' \ .-' / .' `. `. '. '.
\ `._' |.' / `.' ' .
`._ '._|_.' .-'`-. / _.--.| Harsh red, a dawn's
'._ | _.' \ /. '-._' \ knife bursts in me
'._ | _.' `._ /. `. `. `.
'-.. ___ | ___ ..-' /\ / | \ `. Tempering me to
'-._ | _.-' |. / \ ' . | withstand the
.... | .... / '|.' / '._ / day
.... '-.__|__.-' .... | |' '. _.' \
------::::(:)::::------ / ' \')\ _.-' A searing white hot
.... __.-'|'-.__ .... / | || | .'_.-' light cracks my
.... | .... | ' \ / ' '-._ eyes
_.-' ___ | ___ '-._ |.'\ |' `. `-._.'
..-' | '-.. / | / \.'| | Forcing me to
_.' | '._ | \ / `. \ see clearly
_.' | '._ | |.' `. `._ |
`-. _.'|'._ | \ `-._`-..._.' The beauty of
\ `-. | | `-._ my dreams
`._ \ / / `-._ . . .
`._ '. LGB M. J. Penick ©2000
30. People who dream more often and more vividly, tend to have a
higher Intelligence Quotient.
31. The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger.
32. Facial hair grows faster than other hair on the body, for men
as well as women.
33. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as on a
chimpanzee.
34. A human fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.
35. By the age of 60, most people will have lost about half their
taste buds.
36. About 32 million bacteria call every inch of your skin home.
But don't worry; a majority of these are harmless or even helpful
bacteria.
37. The colder the room you sleep in, the higher the chances are
that you'll have a bad dream.
38. Human lips have a reddish color because of the great
concentration of tiny capillaries just below the skin.
39. Three hundred million cells die in the human body every minute.
40. Like fingerprints, every individual has an unique tongue print
that can be used for identification.
41. A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after
it has been decapitated.
42. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.
43. Humans can make do longer without food than sleep. Provided
there is water, the average human could survive a month to two
months without food depending on their body fat and other factors.
Sleep deprived people, however, start experiencing radical
personality and psychological changes after only a few sleepless
days. The longest recorded time anyone has ever gone without sleep
is 11 days, at the end of which the experimenter was awake, but
stumbled over words, hallucinated and frequently forgot what he
was doing.
44. The most common blood type in the world is Type O. The rarest
blood type, A-H or Bombay blood, due to the location of its
discovery, has been found in fewer than a hundred people since it
was discovered
45. Every human spent about half an hour after being conceived, as
a single cell. Shortly afterward, the cells begin rapidly dividing
and begin forming the components of a tiny embryo.
46. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do.
47. Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when
you aren't.
48. Koalas and primates are the only animals with unique
fingerprints.
49. Humans are the only animals to produce emotional tears.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30
feet in the air.
---
...Wowsers! Fascinating! Thanks PatDeE!
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Amazing Human Body!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanbody.html
In The Pink!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inthepink.html
Amazing Trivia Facts!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html
Growing Old!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/growingold.html
The 23rd Psalm!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/psalm23.html
Cool Optical Illusions!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical.html
Inspiring Seniors!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inspiringseniors.html
Life Is...Continued!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifeis2.html
Blind Woman Sees!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blindsees.html
Elephant Rescue!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant.html
Life's Little Oops!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops.html
God's Most Beautiful!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html
Pets Left Home Alone!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html
You And Me Together!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/youandme.html
Ricochet The Surf Dog!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochet.html
Morning After The Party!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/afterparty.html
Hand-Sized Baby Animals!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals2.html
You Are The Only You God Has!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Deci :)
Cellphones in Hand, Saudi Women
Challenge Notions of Male Control
By ROD NORDLANDAPRIL April 21,2017
http://tinyurl.com/kxldteu
---
...Thank You Deci!
Aww, bless their hearts! I think their act of defiance would
be more real to me if they were not wearing a niqab and burqa.
These are not outfits of freedom but of woman in bondage/slavery.
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
This is just a real cute short video.
http://www.wimp.com/daisycream/
I had never stopped to consider the 9 Volt Battery Fire Hazard that
exists in my battery drawer until I saw this video about a house
fire that was caused by a battery. Any battery could cause a fire
if a connection is made between the positive and negative terminals
but because of the size and location of the terminals on a 9 volt
battery it’s much easier for it to occur. To reduce the hazard
simply place a piece of electrical tape over the end of the battery
when storing or disposing of the battery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSJH21WmALc&feature=player_embedded
More amazing, beautiful and astounding clips as a tribute to planet
Earth and its population.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IgnirKhXbU&feature=player_embedded
---
...Wowsers! Awesome! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think
she enjoyed it." --Mark Twain
"He was the world's only armless sculptor. He put the chisel
in his mouth and his wife hit him on the back of the head
with a mallet." - Fred Allen
"Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank
sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
- Gene Fowler
"A psychologist once said that we know little about the
conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol." - Thomas
Blackburn
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding,
"you're making a scene." --Homer Simpson, modern day prophet.
"Anheuser-Busch announced they are coming out with low-carb
beer called "Ultra" which is aimed at the diet-conscious beer
drinker. Diet-conscious beer drinker...aren't those called
women?" --Jay Leno
I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense. Because
people kill people. That's an animal instinct. I think
breaking into someone's home and ironing all their clothes
is temporary insanity.
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better
with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same
thing about drugs.'" --Roy Blount Jr.
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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