Early Father's Day Smiles... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ . >< . o . o ' . >< * >< . . . o __ ,,",". . L" ,|| >< .-'_-||' . . . . / J . . . /o| L L ,-',/ ,J | ``\ .* C -' `-.-JL`.\ LJLJ ` . _|JL| . `--'`-' o * - . -bf- *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first too hot to handle new page is from our friend Geniann. This is an amazing bear rescue story. This man took it upon himself to help save a bear cub and in so doing began a bond of friendship that he was able to blend in with his lovely new wife. They are a happy family even though one of them is a huge 800lb member. They treat him like he is one of their own. Be sure to check this heartwarming one out here... .'"'. ___,,,___ .'``. : (\ `."'"``` ```"'"-' /) ; : \ `./ .' `. :.' / _ _ \ | 0} {0 | | / \ | | / \ | | / \ | \ | .-. | / `. | . . / \ . . | .' jgs `-._\.'.( ).'./_.-' `\' `._.' '/' `. --'-- .' `-...-' Brutus The Bear http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/brutus.html --- ...Wow! A wonderful story! Thanks Geniann! Our second piping hot new page is from our friend Bunni. It too is a heartwarming bear rescue story. This couple decided to take in a little abandoned bear cub and now have a huge pet that is more like a little child than a big brown bear. This one will delight you. Be sure to watch the video here too: :"'._..---.._.'"; `. .' .' ^ ^ `. : a a : __....._ : _.-0-._ :---'""'"-....--'" '. : .' : `. : `,`. `.: '--'--' :.' ; ; : `._`-'_.' ;.' `. '"' ; `. ' ; `. ` : ` ; .`. ; ; : ; .' `-.' ; : ;`. __.' .' .' : ; `. .' __.' .'`--..__ _._.' ; ; `......' .' `'""'`.' ;......-' jgs `.......-' `........' Stepan The Bear http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stepan.html --- ...A big Aww! So sweet! Thanks Bunni! Of course, I am thinking the difference here is that both of these bears were rescued as small cubs and a strong loving bond developed between them and their humans. Any wild animal can be dangerous - especially 800lb bears. It would not be wise to try and be friendly with them. ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ,-. .-, |-.\ __ /.-| \ ` ` / / _ _ \ | _`q p _ | '._=/ \=_.' {`\()/`}`\ Foxy Lady { } \ |{ } \ \ '--' .- \ |- / \ | | | | | ; | | |.;.,..__ | .-"";` `| / | / jgs `-../____,..---'` A psycho analyst was listening to a voluptuous beauty with a problem of her own. "It's liquor, doctor," she sobbed. "I'm really a very nice girl, but just as soon as I've had a drink or two, I become uncontrollably passionate and I want to make love to whomever I happen to be with." "I see," the analyst said, thoughtfully. "Well, suppose I just mix us up a couple of cocktails here and then you and I can sit down, nice and relaxed, and discuss this compulsive neurosis of yours." -<>- After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single- minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird my butt!" -<>- .-----. / '. ' .\ |_.__'_.|} (=(_)^(_)=) ;, > ,; ;;;~~~;;; ___.';;;;;'.__ /'`\ `\ /` /`'\ / | | | | \ jgs( | |\_/| | @~ ) | | | | | | | /| | | |\ | \ || | | || / ( || | | || ) | || |___| || | \ ||___|[_]|___O| / | | / \O| | A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good. The best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy. Your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says... "Grandpa, go home!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 12 is Red Rose Day June 13 is Sewing Machine Day June 14 is Flag Day and Monkey Around Day June 15 is Smile Power Day and Global Wind Day June 16 is Fresh Veggies Day June 17 is Eat Your Vegetables Day, National Hollerin' Contest Day and World Juggler's Day - Saturday closest to June 17th June 18 is Father's Day, Go Fishing Day, International Panic Day, International Picnic Day, International Sushi Day and National Splurge Day - Oh yeah!! ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: : \ _ / -= (_) =- ,________|_] | // // // | |//_//_//_/| ||""""""""|| ||________|| |.========.| jgs || || >Speedy Construction? An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, California, has been torn up for years. Recently, someone put up a handmade sign reading, "Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark." -<>- >Threatening Letters A man stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped." "Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?" "Yes," shouted the man. "It's the Internal Revenue Service." -<>- >Cinnamon Rolls At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls. After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?" Without looking up from his paper my husband replied, "About 10 years." -<>- >Anything Else As a waitress, I stopped at a table to see if anyone needed anything. The mother seated there asked, "May I have some more dressing for my salad?" "Anything else?" I replied thinking I could avoid making two trips. The little girl at the table knew how to take a hint. "Please," she added. -<>- >Bad Day at the Golf Course Gerry was having a really bad day on the golf course. Right around the 14th hole, it seems he had missed one putt too many. He let loose with a fairly impressive temper tantrum, grabbed his putter, and stormed off toward the lake by the 15th tee. "Uh-oh," said his caddie to one of his playing partners, "There goes that club." "You think so?" said his playing partner. "I've got five bucks says he misses the water!" ========================================================= _....._ .--. _.-' `-._ o/o-;;; ( `-._ _.-' ) (_, z) `:-._'---'_.-:' ,,,, _|-' / : `'''`_,-/`-._ /.. ) /\`--/"\ : [_./_ /_ _(_& _P / \_/, | : :`-/(_`_____ _\-'_/___/ /| : _.-: 8 \=__))____/ | : |'_.-: \_ | / F : | : : //`7/ / / : | :.-: (( (( L_______/ : |o : /_>/_> / Y / : |_.-': / / / : : J J J (`'-._____,-'`) | | | | | | | | | | _J__J__J (_ _) (__(_____) cjr'-..___..-' 2may01 >-->SMILES For Father's Day: Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where's popcorn? Q: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice? A: a POPsicle! Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Q: How do you scare a divorced dad? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice! Q: Why don't some fathers have a mid-life crisis? A: They're stuck in adolescence. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his dad was in a jam! Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up! Q: Why are Fathers like parking spaces? A: The good ones are already taken! Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long! Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web. Q: What is the definition of Mass Confusion? A: Fathers Day in the ghetto. Q: What do you call the father you walk all over? A: Stepdad. Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don't have it. Father: Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." Man: How old is your father? Child: As old as me. Man: How it is possible? Child: He became a father only when I was born. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Student: When my father sees my report card! Dad: "Hey babe, you smell that?" Mom: "No." Dad: "Me neither, start cooking." Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough. Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Well, an iPad would be nice for Father's Day, but I'd settle for 20 minutes of darn silence. Magician Jake: What does your father do for a living? Matt: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother. "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" asked the boy. "Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son," his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy said. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone." A Texan buys a round of drinks for the entire bar, announcing that his wife has just gave birth to their first child "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 24 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around, along with many exclamations of "Wow!" Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "18 pounds." The bartender, puzzled and concerned, asks, "Why? What happened? He already weighed 24 pounds at birth." The Texas father takes a slow swig from his longneck beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised." An old father living alone in the country wanted to plant his pepper garden, but the ground was too hard and he was too old to do the work. His only son who used to help him was in prison for robbing a bank. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation: "Dear Jake, I've been very depressed lately because it looks like I won't be able to plant my peppers this year. You know how much your mother loved planting peppers this time of year, but I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would have been over. I know you would have been happy to dig the plot for me." Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son: "Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the THINGS!" Love, Jake At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area looking for the THINGS. They apologized to the old man after not finding anything and left. The next day the old man received another letter from his son. "Dear Dad, Happy Fathers Day! Go ahead and plant your peppers now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances." Love, Jake ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) / .- __ |/,-'` `-.\ _.-'''-._ \\ .--. _.;.--._.--.;._ _\\/_`~\\ _ .-. .` /( / \ )\ `|. \\ |--' | \ | | ; '-' '-' ; |~~~~~| _\ \| |__ | (_) | | '__|_ (_` _)| . . | |. (__ \ `', |` | `-.___.-' | | (__ | | | ; | : | ; | '(___ | | | \ | : | / | . | | | \____'._| : |_.'___;====| | \ | : | / jgs '------. '._.' .---------'` | | | . ~ . | | | | | |____.____| /===========\ ;:. | .::. ; |:' |_'::' | | .:. | | |__':'_|___.::| [______I______] | | | (_ | _) | | | _|___|___|_ .-//\\--|||--//\\-. (_||__\\//|\\//__||_) `"""""""""`"""""""""` >SMILES A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment, and then inquired, "Why did God throw him back down?" ---------- A man calls 911 and states, panicking, "I think my wife is dead." The operator asks, "How do you know?" The man answers, "Well.... the loving is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" ---------- My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late- model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up on his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair. He told her with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving." "Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I’ll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough, that I don’t even need a driver's license any more." He asked her, "How do you know?" "The last time I went to my doctor's office, he examined me and asked if I had a driver’s license. I told him, 'yes,' and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, assuring, 'You won’t need this anymore.' So I thanked him and left!" ---------- "Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!" -------- Sam's barn burned down and his wife, Jane, called the insurance company. Jane spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that dang-on barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured and then we'll provide you with another barn, just like the original one." There was a long pause, and then Jane replied, "Well, If that's how it works, I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband.” ---------- Joe is applying for a job at the railroad and during the interview, an inspector asks him: "What would you do if you saw two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Joe says: "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "Then I'd use the manual lever", answers Joe. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" asks the inspector. "I'd use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "I'd use the public phone near the station". "What if that had been vandalized?" "If that happened," Joe answers, " I'd run home and get my Aunt Wilma". The inspector asked, "Why would you do that?" "Because Aunt Wilma's never seen a train crash." ---------- For months Bill had been Lynn's devoted admirer. At long last Bill had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," Bill began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn's eyes. Then she nodded in agreement, "I think it's a wonderful idea! Can I help you pick out a puppy?" ---------- A young woman brought her fiance' home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiance' to his study for a talk. "So what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar," he replied. "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?" "I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiance'. The conversation proceeded like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide. Later, the mother asked, "How did it go, honey?" The father answered, "He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God." --- ...Oh my! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: How Trump Really Treats Women - Former Miss USA Who Knows Trump Well Warns Democrats: “Donald Trump Is NOT Who You Think He Is” http://tinyurl.com/y93q6847 Love this Trump Touche' - Comey watch parties DC bars turned funereal fast! http://tinyurl.com/ybhp5vpd Tucker Carlson: “Trump-Russia ‘Hoax’ an Effort to Topple a Democratically Elected President the D.C. Class Doesn’t Like” http://tinyurl.com/y739ywzp REPUBLICANS: Why Didn’t Comey Write A MEMO On AG Lynch’s Manipulation Of Hillary ‘Investigation’? [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y7bpzp54 WOW! DISASTER For Loretta Lynch As Top Democrat Calls For Investigation In Hillary Meddling [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y76p4ncz Maxine Waters Wants Trump Impeached but FLEES In TERROR When Questioned About HER Ties To Russia [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/yagcnowa Ivanka Trump slams DC Culture: “there is a level of viciousness that I was not expecting” [Video] http://tinyurl.com/y8wsef9l An Et-Ahem - TOO FUNNY: Meme Explains What Really Happens Everytime Trump Tweets http://tinyurl.com/y9m4sdg3 Miners CHEER: First New Coal Mine Opens Under Trump Administration http://tinyurl.com/y86ojy9s FINALLY! Trey Gowdy Puts An End To Obama’s Interference http://tinyurl.com/ybch9xlp Brad Pitt Takes A Stand For Conservatives: Defies Liberal Hollywood BIG TIME! http://tinyurl.com/y8umf5sj Latest From AFA: http://www.afa.net/ Woman violated inside Target store: 'I feel really scared right now.' http://tinyurl.com/yavk2db8 Fake News said their marriage was on the rocks and she wouldn't move to the White House - Call them what they are - Liars! Melania and Barron Move To The White House: ‘Looking forward to the memories we’ll make in our new home!’ [PHOTOS] http://tinyurl.com/y9mgztt4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: You've heard of 'dine-and-dash' when you run out on a bill at a restaurant. Well, this man took the idea a little too far. A man committed suicide by jumping into a river after running up a bill at a restaurant, according to police in Illinois. The Algonquin Police Department said that the body of 29- year-old Ernest Prentic, was recovered in the Fox River, after a long and exhausting search. According to the police investigation, Prentic went to the Nero's Pizza and Pub, where he had a meal. When it came time to pay, Prentic ran out of the restaurant. Employees of the restaurant called police at around 9:30 p.m., to report a theft. Police officers who arrived at the scene, learned that Prentic ran out of the restaurant and jumped into the Fox River. Witnesses saw Prentic trying to swim across the river. Prentic failed to make it across the river and went over the dam. His body was recovered by a team of divers who responded to the scene. His mother should have taught him to wait a half hour after eating before swimming. Police said that the incident remains under investigation. -<>- It may sound like an urban legend parents tell to frighten their kids into behaving, but it was terrifyingly real to one teenager in Spain. Valencia police have launched an investigation after a swimming pool filter sucked out the intestines of the 14-year-old boy. According to the police, the boy went to the leisure center to get swimming lessons. After getting the lessons, the teen decided to stay in the pool with his friends. For some reason he removed the vent of the swimming pool filter. As a result, he got sucked into the filter. Here is where the story gets a little fuzzy, but we can only assume what body part got caught in the filter, or why he put it in there in the first place. Whatever the reason, the boy could not free himself due to the strong suction. Witnesses at the scene quickly turned off the filter and several people rushed to pull out the unconscious teen from the water. He was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent hours of surgery to put his intestines back into his body. The teen remains in critical condition, but is expected to survive. *-- Peacock Goes on Bender in CA Liquor Store --* A peacock wreaked havoc on a Southern California liquor store by destroying hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol. Royal Oaks Liquors manager Rani Ghanem said a customer tipped him off to the presence of the large peafowl that had perched itself on a shelf beneath a neon Pabst Blue Ribbon beer sign. Ghanem was overwhelmed as the peacock flapped its wings around the store and even flew toward him. "It flew towards me. I didn't know they could actually fly high but it flew up above the counter and it landed here on top of the ice cream freezer. This was really out of my comfort zone, I was kind of scared I didn't know what to do." The manager eventually called animal control, who quickly arrived to capture the large bird. In its attempts to evade the officer, the bird sent liquor bottles crashing to the floor, destroying $500 in wine and champagne. After struggling with the peafowl for a short while, the officer managed to sneak up behind the bird and capture it while it rested on a high shelf. +--Maryland Child Becomes Another Arcade Statistic--+ A boy spent about 30 minutes trapped in a claw arcade game at a hotel in Maryland before being freed. Authorities say the boy climbed through the game's prize door and could not get out. Harford County officials say the boy was trapped for about 30 minutes before the arcade machine owner arrived with a key to get him out. A spokeswoman for Harford County Volunteer Fire & EMS Association, Jenn Chenworth, said she did not know how old the boy was, or whether he received a toy for his efforts. She told the paper: 'I think his biggest prize was getting released.' +--It Probably Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time--+ Firefighters were called to a fourth floor apartment in Coconut Creek, Florida, to put out a fire. The fire was ruled suspicious so police interviewed the housekeeper, 44-year-old Janette Pacheco. She admitted to police that she set a bedroom on fire after taking money from her employer. The condominium was deemed a "total loss." Pacheco admitted to setting the fire to cover up her theft of $160 from her 72-year-old employer. Pacheco was arrested on charges of arson to an occupied structure, and may face additional charges of crimes against the elderly. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) __.............__ .--""``` ```""--. ':--..___ ___..--:' \ ```"""""""``` / .-` ___.....-----.....___ '-. .:-""`` ~ ~ ``""-:. /`-..___ ~ ~ ~___..-'\ / ~ '`""---.........---""` \ ; ; ; '::. ' ~ .:' _. ; | '::: ' .:' ~ | |~ .:' . _ ':. | | .:' ':.~ | | ':. . ~ . _ .: | ; '::. _ /|| .;' ; ; ': ( } \||D ; \.:'.:':. | /\__,=_[_] / \ ':. ~ |_\__ |----| ` / '. '::.. _ | |/ |--. |_ ~ .' '-._':' | /_ | | `'-_.-' jgs (``''--..._____...--''``) `"--...__ __...--"` ````` The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Surprise!, Surprise! It was an Apple. But with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. Then everything crashed --- ...LOL! Good One! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) |`-._ .-' `-.-;"\. .--------------------------------..-.. _ .-'\ | /o\ | \\\ |\ ________________________________\\ \\\/ \\ | | ///\ | | __ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ ||-||| '. \/ //////| | | |__|__/_\ |__|__|_| |__|__|__| || ||| ///////| | | |__|__)__) |__|_| __.--|__| ||_||| . ////////| | | |__|__|_/ |__|__ _ |__|--'__ | . || \'..'///////// | | |__| |__|__|_| |__|__|__| |( )|| `--`///////; \| | ' ||---. ,,,//////////// jgs'---------------------------------'---' `.//////////////' ```=///////=' >Tips: One of the few essential oils most people can identify by smell alone; eucalyptus is very popular because of its effectiveness and range of uses. Air Cleanser: Try putting a few drops into your vacuum and clothes dryer filters to freshen them up and sanitize them a little. Also, it's great for killing mold in your home, and you can mix eucalyptus with other oils like clove and tea tree oil to cleanse the air and maintain a mold-free home. Many aroma therapists use eucalyptus oil for their remedies: The inhalation of the sweet-smelling oil helps relax the body. You can add a few drops of the essential oil to a hot bath. The steam and the aroma will help you calm down. Eucalyptus oil isn't water soluble and you will need to mix it with a dispersant before you add it to the water. Whole milk or bath salts are the best dispersants for eucalyptus essential oil. Relaxes Sore Muscles: Eucalyptus oil can be used in relaxing or therapeutic massages. Just add few drops of this essential oil to coconut or almond oil and apply on skin with a gentle rubbing motion. --- ...Great tips! Thanks Fran! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) ~ The Giggle Group ~ , .---. _// //\_/\\ \_\ |/ 0_0 \| / | ,___, | / \\___// / `"|"` .' .--'/'--' / | | | | | .-'\ | `"""` \ ,---.\ \ \ \ \ \ \ .-\ \ /_.' | /\ jgs \ \ `" Have you listened to the jolly laughter The gaggle of a group Ladies in a circle Giggling as a troupe I saw some the other day Paddling in a bay They were so amusing In all they had to say Such a cacophony The noises that they made The teases and the splashes I wished that I could play Then I thought when I am lonely And wondering what to do I have my special group of email friends They have me laughing too --- ...TeeHee! Oh Yeah! Thanks Bunni! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _ /_`\ )"/ ) (`(,( ./_.') _.`-;-'\ .'/ /___/ .' / / // __/_.' |(\`\ --jgs''-- /'_.]--''- _\| `-| ---''''---....--' `"""' `"" ` A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?" -<>- There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets." So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked, "What is five plus five?" After a few moments of intense concentration the boy said, "Eleven." -<>- I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin. Having plenty of experience with getting out food stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?" "Young lady," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!" -<>- A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $5,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?" -<>- At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." -<>- Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH! Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH! ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: >** Happy Father's Day, Says Andy ** [Edited] .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () A Happy Father's Day this Sunday to The Dads on my list and those that have to be the dads to those who have none. For some of you, however, I know that Father's day isn't something to celebrate, but rather a day of sadness, memories of pain, or perhaps even regret. If this is true of you today, I pray that the peace and healing of God will be upon your souls this day. May God touch your inner being in just the way He knows you need it through Jesus Christ. Here is a little funny for all of you! ** A father had three very active boys. ** One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his father and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!" He slumped to the ground and when he didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if he had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked father opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day." (Andy says... Yes, I know this was an original "Mothers" Joke, but it adapts well for fathers too, don't you think?) -<>- ** A FATHER ** A Father means so many things... A understanding heart, A source of strength and of support Right from the very start. A constant readiness to help In a kind and thoughtful way. With encouragement and forgiveness No matter what comes your way. A special generosity and Always affection, too A Father means so many things When he's a man like you... -<>- ** And so, He called it...Dad ** God took the strength of a mountain, The majesty of a tree, The warmth of a summer sun, The calm of a quiet sea, The generous soul of nature, The comforting arm of night, The wisdom of the ages, The power of the eagle's flight, The joy of a morning in spring, The faith of a mustard seed, The patience of eternity, The depth of a family need, Then God combined these qualities, When there was nothing more to add, He knew His masterpiece was complete, And so, He called it...Dad -<>- ** Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ** "Wnen You Have A Minute" ** _________________ |.---------------.| || GOT A || || MINUTE? || || ~~~~~~~~~~~ || ||_______________|| '-------. .-------' | | _|/ | | ." ". | | /(O)-(O)\ /_)|| / | |_)|| '- | \_)|\ '.___.' / |\/|_ | | \ \_/ / _| '/ |_|\ '.___.' \ ) / \ \_/\__/\__ |==| \ \ /\ /\ `\ | | \ \\// \| | `\ /\ | / | jgs ; || |\____/ | || | "When you have a minute..." by Bob Perks <> A message of Hope, stories from the road." By Bob Perks ~~~Used by permission by Andychap for "The Funnies" an "Extra".~~~ Hello, my friend! While writing this story today, I happened to stop for a second and look out my window. There, walking on down the road, I saw a young girl carrying a dog leash. The rain was pouring down and she had no umbrella. I ran downstairs, grabbed my umbrella and went outside. "Are you looking for your dog?" I asked. "Yes, I am. His name is Banjo, he's a brown Chesapeake." she replied. She had this innocent, Howdy Doodie, freckled face that didn't hold sadness too well. I gave her my umbrella and told her to keep it. I came up to finish this story. It only took a minute to help that child. It only took a minute for me to know I had to do more. I jumped in my car and drove around the neighborhood. I didn't find him. But it only took a minute to say a prayer that she did. ================== Perks Pearl of Wisdom "It takes so little to make a big difference." Bob Perks All stories are copyrighted 2002 Bob Perks. Today's Message: ** When You Have A Minute ** I've heard that phrase so many times. I've used it myself. When you think about it, it's not much of a request and yet, we often fail to respond to it. I'll admit it. I've probably even groaned or moaned when someone asked it of me. "When you have a minute, will you read this for me?" "When you have a minute, call your Dad just to check on him." "When you have a minute, spend some time with the kids. They've been asking for you." "When you have a minute, call your doctor for the results of those tests." A minute. That's all they are asking for and yet, we think our lives are so busy and out of control that they might as well ask for a day, a week or a year of your time. None of it is possible. Or we think everything else is more important. How sad. It only takes a minute to read the following. Perhaps you'll realize how rushed your life has been and how easy it is to change it. When you have a minute, why not follow through on one of these: It only takes a minute to make a difference in the world. It only takes a minute to calm a fear. It only takes a minute to make a child feel loved. It only takes minute to hold a hand and make the pain go away. It only takes a minute to say, “I’m sorry” and prevent a lifetime of regret. It only takes a minute to stoop down to see the world through the eyes of a child and in doing so change how they see you. It only takes a minute to dial the phone and say, “I just called to say “I love you!” It only takes a minute to stop what you are doing and really listen to what someone is saying. It only takes a minute to smile and get one in return. It only takes a minute to forgive. It only takes a minute to ask to be forgiven. It only takes a minute to send an email to all the people in your address book and say, "I just wanted to take a minute to tell you how incredible you are. I am blessed to have you in my life." It only takes a minute to say a prayer. It only takes a minute to say, “Thank you, God” but a lifetime to list all the reasons. When you have a minute, visit my prayer page and read some the challenges others are facing. It will take about a minute to realized how blessed your life really is. http://www.iwishyouenough.com/PrayerRequests.htm "I believe in you!" Bob Perks <> Please don't remove my name and contact info! If you are about to copy this story to share with your friends, please leave my name, email address. It is a copyrighted story and cannot be edited in any manner. Thanks! -<>- ____________________ \\\\\\// / \ \\\ \ | ONE-LINERS | \\ -->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Moms And Dads INDEX! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/momsanddadsindex.html Real Three Bears http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bears.html Kids With Dads http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithdads.html Al Capone's Car http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alcaponescar.html Stainless VS Gold http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stainlesscar.html What Your GPS Won't Show You http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gps.html Leopard Vs Crocodile http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Highway To Hell http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dirt.html Mule Vs Lion http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mulelion.html Dangerous Critters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dangerouscritters.html Real Angry Birds http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angrybirds.html Fun With Nature http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nature.html Giant Catfish http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcfish.html Great White Shark http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatwhite.html Only In Australia http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/australia.html World's Best Dad! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wbdad.html -<>- >Please Follow Me on StumbleUpon Here: http://tinyurl.com/y77a2snz -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Jamie Raven produces a note that Alesha Dixon had just signed from the middle of a lemon! You have to see it to believe it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IacmQkxLKa0 Don't blink - Will Tsai's style of close-up magic moves quickly! Will Tsai amazes the judges and audience of Americas Got Talent 2017 with his unique and incredible visual magic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gniaKsW8HPA --- ...Cool! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Walmart is offering a new service where employees will deliver items to your house on their way home from work. Not only that - they'll also deliver the items in a Target bag so your neighbors think you're classy." -Jimmy Fallon "According to The New York Times, one of the biggest doping scandals in the history of track and field is coming to light. It involves Russian athletes in the sport of race- walking - or as it's known to the billions of people who do it every day, 'hurrying up.'" -James Corden "A boy in Maryland this weekend was trapped in an arcade claw machine after climbing through the prize door. Luckily, rescuers were able to get him out after about 35 quarters." -Seth Meyers "There's a new report that says more than half of American workers didn't use all their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn't take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family." -Jimmy Kimmel "The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies." -Conan O'Brien "According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived." -Seth Meyers "In Mexico, the world's heaviest man, who weighs almost 1,000 pounds, is preparing for surgery. The man said, 'After years of being unhappy with my appearance, I'm finally getting that nose job.'" -Conan O'Brien "I read that Facebook is shutting down its virtual reality film studio. People were like, 'If I wanted to see my Facebook friends in 3D, I'd actually hang out with them.'" -Jimmy Fallon "The Canadian food inspection agency announced that gin is being recalled. The recall was announced because bottles of Bombay Sapphire gin were found to contain 77 percent alcohol by volume rather than the typical 40 percent. Here's how you can tell--normally, gin tastes like juniper with hints of lemon and coriander. Seventy-seven percent alcohol gin tastes like regret, with hints of fighting a parking meter." -Stephen Colbert >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************