Early Thanksgiving Smiles... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ .-""""-._.'| / '.| | / | / | -= | /| ( | |/`< ) ) ( ; -=| _| ) \ \ / ____ /) '._ _.-""-.< .' `\/) / / \ / _ .'`/| _ / | '-._( __\ (__/_/=, ( \| \ -=/ /--;==========` ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.' `'--/,/ || ' \ / | / || ' \ \/ . || ; jgs / / || | | . || | / '=------| / ' ; ; ;| `-.___.___.___.___._/ *~* For Those Celebrating An Early Thanksgiving... Many will have early Thanksgiving Celebrations so here we have some Great Thanks Living Bible Teachings From our friends at www.TruthOrTradition.com: 1 of 2 Thanks: The Joy of Thanksgiving https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lifogbJpowo 2 of 2 Thanks: The Benefits of Thanks Living https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRJVZ3wN2FU A Key to Being Thankful: You Can Never Go Back, Don't Live in the Past, Be Present Minded https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJt78NfS69E --- ...I Thank God For ALL Of You! Blessings My Sweet Friends! :) -<>- >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This red hot new page is from our friend Linda. It is either one that will tickle your funny bone or give you some new ideas for your holiday parties. Be sure to give it a moment and check it out here... .========. .-| |-. .''-'`_.|__ __ __|._`'-''. / .--'` | [LI] | `'--. \ .' / _.--'''""""'''--._ \ '. /` .' .-' _.----._ '-. '. `\ | / / .' _ _ '. \ \ | | | | / `_ _` \ | | | / / '. | (o)(o) | .' \ \ | | '._| .-""-. |_.' | | | \ / | \ / | \ / | / / | / \ /\/\ / \ | \ \ | | / | '-.( ).-' | \ | | | | | / \`""`/ \ | | | \ \ / | _.-| |-._ | \ / / \ \ | / .' | | '. \ | / / '. './ | .' / \ '. | \.' .' '._| \/ \/ |_.' `'{` , , `}'` { } { } { } { } { } { } \,/ \,/ '. .' jgs '-.__ __.-' { _}""{_ } / \ / \ /=/=|=| |=|=\=\ \/\/\_/ \_/\/\/ Extreme Haircuts http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/haircuts.html --- ...TeeHee! Crazy! Thanks Linda! Our next sizzling hot new page is from our friend KarenF. One thing I admire is ornate architecture and this temple sure does fit that description. I don't especially care for the religious aspects of this, but the intricate craftsmanship of it intrigues and amazes me. Certainly a place to want to see up close and personal! Be sure to check this and the video of it out here... BAPS Mandir Chino Hills! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mandirchinohills.html --- ...The place is astounding! Thank You KarenF! ======================================================= ____ / \ /______\ ___/___[_]__\___ (_/ _. ._\_) (_/ _\ \_) (_( .___. ) \_ _/ __/_\____/_\__ .' \ / `. | \__/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |___| | |___| / | / | \ ______________________ \__|_____/\____| \/ / \ |____[__]___|\ \_/\ | Brother, let's talk! | | | \/ | \__ __________________/ | | | / ()/ |/ | | |/ / | | |\__/ _.--. | | | \o ` .-.-..-. | | | .' .' .--. | / | | | ; (_.' `| / _____ | | | _____ . . . | /___jro___ |_____|_____| `. `. ; \ / / | | \ `-. `--' .' _[] | | []_ `-. .'. .' / | | \ || || `----""--' `--""----' /|\|\ >-->From SmileZilla: The Collins family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. For generations, their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between Canada and the United States. Mrs. Collins, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and two grandchildren. One day, her son rushed into her room with a letter in his hand. "Mom, I have some news," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?" "What do I think?" his mother replied. "Jump at it! Call them immediately and tell them we accept. I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!" -<>- During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used: "As you all know, there are 180 degrees in a circle." One of the soldiers put up his hand and said: "But there are 360 degrees in a circle, sergeant-major." "You idiot," replied the sergeant-major, "I am obviously speaking about a small circle!" -<>- A pharmacist looks out the front of the store and sees a blonde woman holding a bottle while jumping up and down in the parking lot. The pharmacist walks out to the parking lot and asks the woman, "What's the matter?" She replies, "I didn't notice until after I took the medicine that it said, 'Shake Well'." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 25 is National Parfait Day November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day November 27 is National Tie One On Day and Pins and Needles Day November 28 is French Toast Day, Make Your Own Head Day, Red Planet Day and Thanksgiving - Eat, drink, and be thankful November 29 is Black Friday, Buy Nothing Day, Square Dance Day and You're Welcome Day - the day after Thanksgiving November 30 is Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day December 1 is Eat a Red Apple Day and World Aids Awareness Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: , |\ | `-._,="""=, \ //o.-)-.\ \ ||/:/:\:\-. `. \\\:\:/:/o_), jgs `->>>8888>;(_)o.-' >Fore! My 5-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?" "Five." answered the nephew. "Okay," my brother said, "let's go." -<>- >Senior Citizen Interview My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen about his or her life, so she asked me many questions about my life. She asked about cars, wars, etc. Then she asked, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" "I'd have to say the moon walk," I replied. She looked disappointed. "That dance was important to you? I would have thought you'd be too old to dance by the time that came out!" -<>- >Doorbells I was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter as she sold cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting several homes, she commented on the different styles of doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled. We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like. At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house, the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look of amazement on her face. "Now that's a doorbell!" -<>- >No More Boys When Donna found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of his parents' private conversations. One day when Donna and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!" -<>- >Not Likely..... In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite gender?" I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'" ========================================================= .:. .:. \|/ .:. _ \\,/// \|/ | \|/ _/_\_ ___ \\|/// <#> | \|<#> | (") /.-.\ (")\\ \|<#>|/ \| / _ //U\\ |(")| //-\\\ | \| /<#>/ ( ) _ \|_|/ /)v(\ <#>_/|_|/\\ \ |/ |/ \| (_` )_('> | | \/~\/ |||\\\ \| | |/ (__,~_)8 ||| //_\\ ||| \\ |/ \| / \| / jgs _YY_ _[|]_ /_____\ _[|]_ \| |/ |/ """"""""'""'""'"""""'""""'""'"""'"""""''"'"""^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >-->Happy Thanksgiving Day Jokes And SMILES :) Josh: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? Phil: Why? Josh: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes. Biff: Why did the turkey cross the road? Bob: I don’t know. Biff: It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken! Charles: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Mary: I haven’t a clue. Charles: Peach gobbler! Tom Swiftie: “May I say the prayer before Thanksgiving dinner?” Tom asked gracefully. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” “No, ma’am. They’re dead Danny: Why did the cranberries turn red? Jake: Beats me. Danny: Because they saw the turkey dressing! Billy: Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Joe: Beats me. Billy: Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats! Caleb: What key has legs and can’t open doors? Caitlyn: What? Caleb: A turkey. Alex: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? Adam: Why? Alex: He sensed fowl play. Robert: Which bird is best at bowling? Chrystal: I don’t know. Robert: A turkey. Leighton: What sound does a limping turkey make? Zach: I give up! Leighton: “Wobble, wobble!” Luke: What did the turkey say to the computer? Will: What? Luke: “Google, google, google.” Josh: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede? David: Tell me. Josh: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day! Pedro: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Ordep: What? Pedro: “Quack! Quack!” Chas: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast? Tom: What kind? Chas: Plymouth Rock! Justin: Which November holiday is Dracula’s favorite? Jay: Which one? Justin: Fangs-giving! Sister: Mom wants your to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken? From BoysLife: https://boyslife.org ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' >SMILES For the second time in six weeks a man had fallen off his horse and broken some ribs. Coincidentally, the doctor in the emergency room at the hospital was the same both times. Since there isn't much that can be done for broken ribs, he prescribed a pain killer and sent the man on his way. As the man turned to leave, he jokingly asked, "Is there anything you can recommend for my horse?" The doctor paused and thought for a moment, then said, "If it were me, I'd get another rider." ---------- He: "This article says women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words." She: "That's probably because a woman has to say everything twice." He: "...What?" ----------- Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. 'Come have a look over here,' says Paddy, 'it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.' 'That's nothing', says Sean, 'here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died.' Just then, Shamus yells out, 'Good golly, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!' 'What was his name?' asks Paddy. Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, 'Miles, from Dublin.' ---------- My young nephew was staying with me for a few days. He'd been playing with some of the neighbor's kids for a while when he came into the house and asked me, 'Hey Unc, what's it called when people are sleeping on top of each other?' I was a bit taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called intercourse son.' He just said, 'OK', indifferently. and went back outside to play. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Bobby's mother next door says, IT IS NOT called intercourse! It's called bunk beds!' ---------- When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?" "We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him. "Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted. "Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped. "Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom." ---------- Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to." The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook! --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ,--. \ _\_ _\/_|_\____.'\ -(___.--._____( \ \ \ \ `--' jg >Male Logic THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS WIFE. PLEASE NOTE THAT SHE ASKS SEVEN QUESTIONS, WHICH HE ANSWERS QUITE SIMPLY. BUT THEN SHE IS SPEECHLESS AFTER ANSWERING ONLY ONE QUESTION FROM HIM WOMAN: DO YOU DRINK BEER? MAN: YES WOMAN: HOW MANY BEERS A DAY? MAN: USUALLY ABOUT THREE WOMAN: HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY PER BEER? MAN: $5.00 WHICH INCLUDES A TIP (THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SCARY!) WOMAN: AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING? MAN: ABOUT 20 YEARS, I SUPPOSE WOMAN: SO A BEER COSTS $5 AND YOU HAVE THREE BEERS A DAY WHICH PUTS YOUR SPENDING EACH MONTH AT $450. IN ONE YEAR, IT WOULD BE APPROXIMATELY $5400 CORRECT? MAN: CORRECT WOMAN: IF IN 1 YEAR YOU SPEND $5400, NOT ACCOUNTING FOR INFLATION, THE PAST 20 YEARS PUTS YOUR SPENDING AT $108,000 CORRECT? MAN: CORRECT WOMAN: DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DIDN’T DRINK SO MUCH BEER, THAT MONEY COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN A STEP-UP INTEREST SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND AFTER ACCOUNTING FOR COMPOUND INTEREST FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, YOU COULD HAVE NOW BOUGHT AN AIRPLANE? MAN: DO YOU DRINK BEER? WOMAN: NO. MAN: WHERE IS YOUR AIRPLANE? --- ...HaHaHAHA! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: ,. (:;) `' Today I would like to discuss lemons and lemon juice. It's not just good for making tea and spraying on fish! * Never throw a squeezed lemon away without first using it to rub over yours hands and elbows. It softens, cleans and bleaches them. * Rinse fingernails and hands daily in a lemon rinse. * Rub lemon juice on the skin to banish blackheads and acne. * Mix lemon juice with salt and use to rub off dead skins cells on the thighs elbows, knees and other problem areas. BONUS TIP: Moisturizer Worried that all that acidic citrus will dry out your skin? Don't mess with expensive, designer moisturizers when you probably already have something in your bathroom cabinet that is just as good. Petroleum jelly makes a great moisturizer. Wash your face and while it is still wet apply a tiny amount of jelly. Continue rubbing in a circular motion adding very warm water until jelly is spread evenly. Your skin will be soft and non- greasy even in the winter. -<>- (U) \\ \\ (O) Krogg >Tips Remove rust from metal. If you have a rusty wrench or pair of pliers, just soak it overnight in a mixture of vinegar and a couple tablespoons of salt. The next day give it a good polish with a soft abraisive or scouring pad, like the ones you would use for pots and pans in the kitchen, and goodbye rust! Don't throw silica gel packets away! Throw them into drawers, boxes, instrument cases, and anywhere else you don't want moisture damage. Blow your stickers away. If a sticker or decal seems like it's stuck to your bumper or window with concrete, try heating it with a hair dryer for one or two minutes. If it is stuck on a completely flat surface like a window, a razor blade will help, too. Stripped screw hole in wood? Fix it with a matchstick. Break a wooden matchstick off inside the hole. Then just screw into the matchstick! If you've done much cooking or baking you have probably struggled with separating egg yolks from the whites. There is an easier way. 1: Squeeze an empty plastic water bottle. 2: Touch it to the yolk. 3: Release the yolk once it's separated from the white! -<>- >'Go Green' Hint: 3 ways to cut the clutter - and save trees in the process 1. Get off junk-mail lists Register with the Direct Marketing Association's DMAchoice mail preference service (dmachoice.org), and you'll see a significant reduction in mail after three months. 2. Permanently place a recycling box an arm's length from your mail bin so you can toss any remaining junk mail pronto. 3. Pay bills online, or set up automatic check paying from your bank account. No envelopes, no postage - and no late fees, if you're on an automatic plan. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Trump's Handwritten Note https://theusawire.com/2019/11/14937-trumps-handwritten-note/ Report: FBI Wants To Speak With Trump Whistleblower https://tinyurl.com/r65cdad Nunes: ‘No Conspiracy Is Too Outlandish For The Democrats’ https://tinyurl.com/wgjc6fz Prince Andrew Steps Away From Public Duties Due To His Epstein Ties https://tinyurl.com/tkvdtbh Team Trump Congratulates Hunter Biden As DNA Tests Confirm His Love Child ‘With Scientific Certainty’ https://tinyurl.com/wvf32nc Facebook’s Zuckerberg Visits White House to Dine With Trump https://tinyurl.com/rjvo5cx Westwing News:Impeachment Is Destroying Democrats “On Thursday night, Democratic staffers enjoyed cocktails on Capitol Hill to celebrate the end of a week of televised impeachment hearings. The partygoers believed the hearings were a smashing success on the road to the impeachment of the President. Instead, the evidence shows that Democrats should be worried, not celebrating. The American people are tiring of the Democratic Party’s political antics.” https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: It’s official: Americans are tuning out the Swamp—and the ratings prove it Tone-deaf would be an accurate way to describe the Washington political class in general, and it certainly applies to Democrats’ latest impeachment attempt. For the past two weeks, they’ve rolled out witness after witness for hours of nationally televised hearings. Each testimony had a few things in common, including that all substituted pure speculation in lieu of any actual evidence. But today’s “finale” had something extra: The witnesses weren’t even indirectly involved in the July 25 phone call with Ukraine. They learned about it the same way you did—from the news. https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free - Help Feed the Hungry This Holiday Season https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Many of you have probably heard of a 'money shot' but this is ridiculous. This story comes from Tennessee, and it should be no surprise that the home of Jack Daniel's and Tennessee whiskey should produce a story about a man who is so snookered that he can't keep himself from trying to humping anything that can't get away from him. And he was almost successful, too. 49-year-old Lonnie Hutton was apprehended at The Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro. According to police, an officer was dispatched to the bar, where a witness said that Hutton walked up to the ATM and "pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals and then attempted to have intercourse with the ATM." After his encounter with the ATM, Hutton began to walk around the bar nude, thrusting his hips in the air. Hutton was subsequently escorted from the bar and told to sit at a wooden picnic table. But once outside the bar, Hutton allegedly "again exposed himself again and engaged in intercourse with the wooden picnic table." To the surprise of no one police reported that Hutton smelled of booze, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. -<>- Some people really take offense at things. And sure, there is a lot of injustice in the world, but the woman in today's story might have gotten a little carried away with pursuing her own, personal crusade. A woman with a history of attacks on people wearing fur has been charged with attempted murder for stabbing a woman she believed was wearing the material at a church outside Cleveland, police said. Meredith Lowell, 35, is being held on a $1 million bond after the attack at a Presbyterian church in Cleveland Heights. The victim had brought children she was babysitting to the church for choir practice, and Lowell stabbed her twice in the arm and once in the abdomen with a kitchen knife, according to a Cleveland Heights police report. A man wrestled Lowell to the floor and held her until officers arrived. The victim remained hospitalized, Police Chief Anne Mecklenburg said. Her condition was unclear. It's also not clear whether the victim was wearing real fur. Lowell was arrested a year ago on suspicion of attacking someone she believed was wearing fur at a Whole Foods store in University Heights. A police report said Lowell punched and then tried to cut a woman wearing a jacket with fake fur on its hood with the serrated blade of a Swiss Army knife. The jacket was gashed, but the woman was not cut. In March 2012, Lowell was indicted in federal court in Cleveland after authorities said she posted on Facebook that she wanted to hire a hit man to kill someone wearing fur. Lowell wrote that she would be willing to pay $850, according to an FBI affidavit. Those charges were dropped in January 2013 when it was determined she could not be "rehabilitated to competency," court records show. --- ...Reminds me of my own experience... I had stopped at a gas station with my daughter and got out in the freezing cold to fill the gas tank wearing my $150 5 year old big warm and cozy 'bear' fake fur black coat. A man was walking by to his car and gave me the longest, most evil, scowling gaze. It has been years since then, but I still remember it. I never saw him before so either he was just an evil man or he really didn't like me for some reason. Since then I was thinking it was probably due to him thinking I was wearing a real bear fur coat and our car at the time was an older BMW my husband got for a good price. It seems rich folks tend to off them after just a few years so one can buy them used at a very reasonable price compared to new. They are very well made (like a tank) so we were quite pleased to get it. But to him, I might have looked like some entitled B-otch or something. *--- Would You Sell Your Privacy For a Free Hotel Room? ---* A Japanese hotel offers a room that costs only $1 per night, but there's a catch -- the guest's entire stay is live- streamed on YouTube. Tetsuya Inoue, who took over the Asahi Ryokan hotel in Fukuoka from his grandmother last year, said he was looking for ways to boost business and was inspired by a British YouTuber who livestreamed his time at the hotel. "This is a very old ryokan and I was looking into a new business model," Inoue said. "Our hotel is on the cheaper side, so we need some added value, something special that everyone will talk about." Inoue said room No. 8 is now equipped with cameras that are always livestreaming on his YouTube channel, One Dollar Hotel. He said the feed is video only and the cameras are pointed away from the bathroom area to give guests some privacy. He said the hotel loses money with the $1 stays, but once his YouTube channel reaches 4,000 view hours, he will be able to monetize the scheme with ads. *-- This Is Why Dogs Shouldn't Have Drivers Licenses --* Residents of a Florida neighborhood said a car that drove in circles in reverse for about an hour only had a single occupant -- a dog. Police said the driver of the car in Port St. Lucie had gotten out and left the vehicle running, and the dog then apparently knocked the vehicle into reverse. Neighbors said the car was moving for about an hour before police were able to stop it. "First I thought I saw somebody backing up but then they kept going and I'm like OK what are they doing," a witness told local news. Police were able to enter a code to open a door, stop the car and rescue the dog. The car hit a mailbox, some garbage cans and some bricks in front of a home while the canine was behind the wheel. "He was doing pretty good until he hit the mailbox. He went around for about an hour without hitting anything at all." *--- I Now Pronounce You Father and Daughter ---* A West Virginia man admitted to authorities that he married one of his two daughters after helping both of them kill another man and dump him in a shallow grave, a report said. Larry Paul McClure, 55, said in a letter to state investigators that he and his daughters; 31-year-old Amanda Michelle Naylor McClure and 32-year-old Anna Marie Choudhry, plotted the murder of John McGuire, who was dating Amanda, the Bluefield Daily Telegraph reported. A West Virginia State Police officer testified in a recent court hearing that the trio hit McGuire in the head with a bottle of wine, tied him up and injected him with two vials of meth. They then strangled him and buried him in a shallow grave on the property of a home where they were staying in the Skygusty section of the state. In his admission letter, McClure wrote the murder was his daughter Amanda's idea. "I cannot tell you why Amanda wanted John McGuire dead," Larry McClure wrote. Police allege Amanda and her father then traveled to Virginia and married each other at the United Methodist Church ministry of the gospel. *--- What Every Woman Wants ---* A Dubai bar is drawing in female customers with an unusual promotion -- the more they weigh, the more free drinks they receive. The Fusion Club at Cassells Al Barsha Hotel announced it will be running a special through the end of the year offering $0.12 in free drink credit for every pound a female customer weighs -- meaning a woman weighing 150 pounds would receive about $18.50 worth of free drinks. Bar managers said there is a scale available in the bar, but customers can also use the honor system to merely tell their weight to bartenders. "Although we have a weighing machine at the bar entrance, we do not insist our guests to verify the weight," Anil Kumar, the hotel's food and beverage manager said. The promotion's motto is, "It's good to gain weight." ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: I've always found it amusing how stores will essentially have the same food products (similar in looks and taste) but for legal reasons they have to change the name. It's really goofy. Or maybe it's as if these name-brands are ashamed to be seen in these places. Hey, if I can buy a box of Frosted Flakes for $2 cheaper at discount grocery store, well then the jokes on you whoever makes that delicious breakfast cereal. Anywho, the product name changes are often silly or unnecessary, especially when it comes to cereals. I now have for you the Top 5 Best Alternative Cereal Names (that were created to avoid legal action). o8Oo./ ._o8o8o8Oo_. \========/ `------' hjw 1. Rhino Puffs (Corn Pops) 2. Fruit Nuggets (Fruity Pebbles) 3. Breakfast Letters (Alpha-Bits) 4. Apple Cinnamon Roundies (Apple Jacks) 5. Cocoa Balls (Cocoa Puffs) And a bonus, random cereal name - Huggie Bears (Not Associated with Starsky and Hutch). They are all creative, all delicious, and all sitting in my desk drawer just waiting to be eaten by me. Hey, winter is a coming so I'm stocked up! -<>- >I'm Not Happy I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said, 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' -<>- >Change My neighbor's young son swallowed a quarter, a dime and a nickel. He was rushed to the hospital. The next day I asked my neighbor how his son was doing, and he replied, "No change yet". -<>- >How to Impress How to impress a woman... Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to impress a man... Show up naked, with beer. -<>- >Here's Some Random Stuff My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort. A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here." Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead! Can a orphan go to a family Restaurant? You know what's weird about bullets? They do work until they are fired! -<>- .-=--. .' .--. '. : : .-.'. : _ _ : : : .': : (o)o) : '. '-' .' //// fsc _'.__'--=' '-.//i' .-' / '---..____...---'' >Q and A Quickies Q: Why do the French eat snails? A: They don't like fast food. Q: What do sprinters eat before a race? A: Nothing, they fast. Q: What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? A: Attire. ? . ' _ -- ~~~ -- _ _______ .-~ ~-.{__-----. : / \ | | : O O : | | /\ /------' j { {/~-. .-~\~~~~~~~~~ \/ / |~:- .___. -.~\ \ \ / /\ \ | | { { \ \ } } \ \ { { \ \ | \ \ \ \ / } } \ \ /\ \ \ \ /\ \ { { } } { { \ \ \ \/ / \ \ \ \ / / } } \ \ }{ { \ \ } } / / { { \ \{\ \ } { { / / } } } }\\ \ / / \ \ `-' { { `-'\ \`-'/ / `-' `-' `-' `-' Q: What does a jellyfish have on its tummy? A: A jelly button. Q: Why was the ancient Egyptian confused? A: Because his daddy was also his mummy. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ., _ / ` ((|))))) ((/ a a ))) >) ((((._e(( ,--/ (-. / \ <\/>/| / /) Lo )| / / ) / | | / ( / | / ;/ ||( | / )|/| \ |/'/\ \_____\ \ | \ \ |\ \ | | ) ) ) )/ / A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'." -<>- ___ .-" "-. .' . ; `. / : . ' : \ | ` .-. . ' | | : ( ) ; ` | | : `-' : | \ .` ; : / hjw `. . ' .' `-.___.-' Jim and Joe stop in front of a pastry shop and Jim says, "Let me show you how to get yourself a free snack." Stepping through the door Jim reaches behind the counter a slips a big, frosted cookie into his coat pocket before the baker has a chance to look up and see what's going on. Winking at Joe, Jim whispers, "What do you think about that?" At that point the baker walks over and asks if he can help them. Joe winks back at Jim, then says to the baker, "I bet you a free cookie I can show you a magic trick you've never seen before." The baker says, "If it's a good enough trick I guess it's worth a free cookie." Joe says, "Watch this!" and takes a big, frosted cookie off the counter and munches away until it's gone. Then he says, "Ta-da!" The baker leans over the counter and says in a menacing voice, "There better be one good magic trick coming up or you're going to be talking to the police." Joe gives Jim grin and then says to the baker, "Just take a look in my friend's pocket." -<>- I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." So I honked. The driver leaned out his window, gave me an very impolite gesture, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you MORON!?" -<>- Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey. I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?" Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes?" "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?" -<>- In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N." ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: . . \ \ / \ \| \ | / / , \ \ | | | |/ \ | | |/ / | . \ | \ \ | \ / | | / / / | | /_/ / \_ \ \ \ | |\ | | | / | | | / _/,-'/_,-' / _ _ \ \| \_\_ \| \ \\ | |/ / / / _/ _/,---' / \___\ \_ \__ \ \ | \ \ | / // | / // _/_/__/ __/_ __ _ \_ \ \ | \ \ |/ |/ | | / / / /___/ _/ _/ _ \___ \ / _____/ \_ \__ \ -------.___ -----._______ / _/ __/ \__ \ _____ ----- __ / __/ \ _______ ------' / __ | ___________ ___________ | __ / `| ,-' ___________ '. ,' ___________ `-. |' \ | /` (_,-' _______ `./ \,' _______ `-._) '\ | | | ,-' `._,`-. ,-' `._,`-. | | | |. ,' `. `. ,' `. `. :| | | \ `. `-._____,-,' `. `-._____,-,' / | \ ' `-._______,-' : : `-._______,-' ' / \_. | | ._/ | | | | \ / \ / \ / \ / \ | | / | \,--._,--./ | | _,.--'''`-'''`--.._ | --. ,---. ,---. | ,' __,-----------.__ `. ,---. ,---. ,---. -- \( \( -- \_|____/_,'\/| | | | |\/`._\__ / -- )/ )/ -- ) .--.\\ -- \\ .--.\ `-.|__|__|,-' /,--, // -- //,--, / \__\)\ .--.\\ \__\) (/__/ //,--, /(/__/ / `---' \ \__\)`---' `---'(/__/ / `---' jrei `---' `---' >Doesn't It Annoy You When... ...there's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found? ...you buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer? ...there's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit? ...you're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out? ...you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you. ...someone says, "well, to make a long story short" and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes. ...you rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. ...the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on. ...you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don't, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything. -<>- >Quickies: My wife is on a well-known diet plan, and so far she's lost $300. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb... -<>- _ _{Ss //\\_/_/\Ss _/_| \_/ \_ pb >Women Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely. The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die." I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. -<>- >Strange but True warnings. Take note. * On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. * On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!) * On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?) * On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!) * On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) * On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) * On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really?) * On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.) * On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What is this, a home castration kit?) * On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) *On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. * On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. * In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) * On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. * In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END. * On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? * On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. -<>- /\ / .\ (_/\_) )( /__\ _/_/\_\_ _/_/__\_\_ _/_/_/\_\_\_ _/_/_/__\_\_\_ __/_/_/_/\_\_\_\__ _)__,________'____(_ )__________________( ||| - | | _____-____ | | |\ /| | ' | \ / | | | | \ / | | | | \/ | | | | /\ |'| | | / \ | | _| | / \ | |_ //| |/ \| \\ //| / \. //| / || //| / __||__ //| , -__ __- ____//| / ' || . _)___/| / / / || \ /\ )__ \_ / __/_____/\_____\__ /. \ | / |__________________| (_/\_) ' / /. ///\\\ \ )( | | | /(( ))\ - | //\\ | -| | / \\// \ | huummmhummmmmhummmmmm... // \\__,_| | | - /\ \/ /\ ' |__ / | //- \____| | / / () () () \ \ ' ___// ./\ \ | | / / /\ /\ /\ \ \ | ,```_ _```, )__ //\\ |_| - | | //\\//\\//\\ | - c - - c | (( )) -| | .| | |(( )( )( ))| | ./|-` `-|\. | |\\//| | | | ' | \\//\\//\\// | | /` \ /` \ |- | \/ | | ' | | | \/ \/ \/ | ' /_| \) (/ |_\ | | () | | | | | | () () () | | | .__| |__, | | |//\\| - | -| | | /\ /\ /\ | | | | | | | -|/ \| | - | , | //\\//\\//\\ ' | | | | | __|_ | | _|_| |_|_ |// \( )/ \\| |__+ |___\ /___| _)___||____||___| |___||__ \\// __|__, | ______===_____===_______|____| |__| |_,|__|__| |____\/____| | , __________________________________________b'ger __/ A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the "men of God", the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, they did so -thereby proving - That Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Beautiful Exotic Birds http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html 100 Years Ago http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/yearsago.html Animal Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends.html Ford's First RV! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html WWI Human Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Liberty Air Show! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Cat Spot Tips! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catspots.html Stuck Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html For Thanksgiving Links: Give Praise http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/praise.html Ohio Indians http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ohioindians.html Rich VS Poor http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/richvspoor.html Seven Wonders Of The World http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/wonders.html That's God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html Value What You Have http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/valuewyh.html Yummy DESSERTS http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Thanksgiving Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html Thanks and Thank You Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html Thanksgiving Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alices.html Full Fall/Vets/Thanksgiving Index! https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- Carol Burnett Show - Royal Family - Carol Cracks Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf8xQk9PNKo Jonathan Winters on the Tonight Show 8 25 1988 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdoNec8d2bs Red Skelton Carson Tonight Show 1983 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI7kJvwvmDo My daughter didn't know who this comedy team was Soooo... Two of my favorites: Abbott & Costello Who's On First https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg The ABBOTT & COSTELLO SHOW - Loafing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRs37ugCxyM -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A great look back at the 1950?s and 1960's that should bring back fond memories for anyone that grew up in that era. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDc0ID6PJeg Tim Conway absolutely wrecks his fellow cast mates ability to keep a straight face. The show was filmed live and the actors were always trying to make each other laugh which is something Tim Conway excelled at doing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY --- ...These classic comedians are the best! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! Revisiting... >From Our Friend Geniann :) Men over 50 will find this relevant...extremely entertaining- Have a good laugh---Listen to the entire "lecture" -guaranteed to resurrect your Laugh Box and find yourself laughing at yourself!!! https://www.youtube.com/embed/LR2qZ0A8vic?rel=0 --- ...HaHa! Thanks Geniann! >From Our Friend Fran :) Lost in the Fifties- Another Time, Another Place http://safeshare.tv/w/FEDEwZHZXu --- ...Sweet! Thanks Fran! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The other day in Australia, a wedding took place inside a Costco. Because it was Costco, the groom came home with 12 brides." -Conan O'Brien "I saw that one hundred years ago this month, Albert Einstein presented his theory of General Relativity, which explains how gravity works. And it also marks the last time someone actually meant it when they said, 'Way to go, Einstein.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Nestle is recalling its Hot Pockets Four Cheese Pizza Snack Bites due to misbranding. They'll be re-released with the corrected name, Scalding Hot Yet Somehow Still Frozen in the Middle Pockets." -Seth Meyers "Two photographs that went missing from the Museum of a Modern Art in New York were mailed back to the museum just a few days later by the alleged thief. Which is, you know, great for the museum. Got to be a bit of a blow to the ego of the artist. 'Your photographs were so popular they were stolen! No, wait, they sent them back.'" -James Corden "China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen." -Seth Meyers "A skydiver in California just became the first person to jump out of a plane from 25,000 feet without a parachute and land in a net. Or as Southwest Airlines calls that, 'Business Class.'" -Jimmy Fallon "In the world of healthcare, the FDA has approved the first pill with a digital sensor that signals doctors when patients have taken their medicine. The doctors say they invented the pill to make sure that their patients are taking their medication. I still think it would be more effective if they went with my plan of making all pills taste like Cool Ranch Doritos." -James Corden "A Florida man is refusing to give up his 'emotional support squirrel' even though his condo association is threatening to evict him. Of course it's stressful times like these when the comforting embrace of a squirrel helps the most." -Seth Meyers "A federal court just ruled that sharing your Netflix password is now a federal crime. So if you've been looking for a way to send your parents to prison, here's your chance." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************