Ecofeminism, Flag Day And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ ============;===========;() # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: Happy Flag Day!! # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # jgs # # # # # # # *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Google has informed me of a new way to recommend pages to people who use their search engine, so I am adding this to some of my pages and will be adding it to all my future new pages. Hopefully they won't decide to eliminate it so I have to remove it later! When you check out a page and you like it, Please scroll down to the area past the 'Join The Shangy Fun List' to the 'Like This Page?' area. Right above it is the +1 image. If you click this, Google counts your vote for the page. Right now, all my pages that have this +1 will have a 0 beside of it. No recommendations. That sucks! So, I am counting on you folks to help out and vote! Thank You MUCH - Most Appreciated - Huggums! :) AN UPDATE: I did my part and edited over 100 Shangrala pages adding the +1 Google recommendation to them. Now it is your turn to do your part and CLICK on them when you see them on page you like. I'm counting on you! -<>- >2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) The first hottie comes from our friend Linda. I find it amazing that people can do such a wonderful artistic job using sand! Check out some of the best ones here... | \ ' / __ __ .-. _\ \/ /_ __ -=== ( ) ===- /__oOoo__\/ /__ '-' /_/\__\oOo__/ / . \ || /_/\__\ | || || ~^~~||~^~||^~^^~^~^=^=^~=~=~^=^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^ ~|| ~~|| ~^~ ~^= =~^=~^~^= ~^~^~ ~^~^ ~^~ ^~ || ^ ||~^ ~^~ ~^==~^==~^~ = ~^=~ ~^ ~^~ .'. ||.'.||.' ..'..''.'.'. '.'..'.' .'''..''.' jgs || || ''. O ~O/ '' '' || /|\/| ' . ' . ' . ' . /| |\ . . ' . / | / | . . ' ' ` ` ` ` ' ' Sand Sculpture Art 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart3.html --- ...Very interesting! Thanks Linda! -<>- Our Next super hot tottie comes from our friend Wesley. I used to really love to color as a kid. Who knew child's play could be such a fabulous fine art? Check out Mr. Crayola's work here... ______ | O | | ,|._ | | `A _|__ |__|\_\ \ O \ ._|.) \___A _|_ |\ SSt Crayola Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crayolaart.html --- ...Very beautiful! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->From TheFunnyBone: A Cook's Dictionary Oven Mitt: A partially charred grease stain that fits over the hand. Picnic: Any meal eaten more than 100 yards from the nearest bathroom. _ _ H Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions / \ / \ for preparing ingredients you forgot \( | | | .-| to buy in utensils you don't own to OOOO| | | |_| make a dish the dog won't eat the ___OOOO|_|_|___|_ rest of. |____OO___________| j/\/\/O/\/\/\/\/\/| Sugar: One of a class of carbohydrates g\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\| present in one form or another in all s/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/| food. Common sources of sugar and \\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ the types they contain are: `'============='` fructose and glucose (fruit juice and honey); lactose (milk); sucrose (sugar cane or sugar beets); maltose (malt); and jocose, verbose, morose, lachrymose, bellicose, and comatose (alcohol). Taste: 1) The ability to distinguish between, say, tripes a la mode de Caen and chocolate pudding. 2) The critical discernment necessary to choose the chocolate pudding. Timer: Adjustable clock that rings or otherwise signals when a particular dish is overcooked. ================================================================== +---------- Bizarre College COURSES -----------+ "Language and Sexual Diversity" at the University of Min- nesota. Teaches how language is used in "lesbian, gay, bi- sexual and transgender communities" and the "ways in which sexual diversity affects language use." "Ecofeminism" at the University of Florida. Explores "West- ern tradition's naturalization of women and feminization of nature, drawing the conclusion that the domination of women and the domination of nature are intimately connected and mutually reinforcing." "Philosophy and Star Trek" at Georgetown University. Asks: "Is time travel possible?" "Can a person survive death," "Could we go back and kill our grandmothers?" and "Is Data a person?" "Seeing Queerly: Queer Theory, Film, and Video" at Brown University. Asks, "While cinema has typically circumscribed vision along (heterosexually) normative lines, can film also empower viewers to see 'queerly'?" "Cultural History of Rap" at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA). Offers a discussion "on musical and verbal qualities, philosophical and political ideologies, gender representation, and influences on cinema and popular culture" in rap. ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend James :) I have found that all ugly things are made by those who strive to make something beautiful, and that all beautiful things are made by those who strive to make something useful. ~ Oscar Wilde _ (_) <___> | |______ | |* * * ) | | * * (_________ | |* * * |* *|####) | | * * *| * | (________________ | |* * * |* *|####|##############| | | * * *| * | | | | |* * * |* *|####|##############| | |~~~~~~| * | | | | |######|* *|####|##############| | | |~~~' | | | |######|########|##############| | | | | | | |######|########|##############| | |~~~~~~| | | | | |########|##############| | | '~~~~~~~~| | | | |##########JGS#| | | '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | June is: National Iced Tea Month Today, June 14 is: Flag Day (US) Birthday of: Harriet Beecher Stowe [author] (b. 1811) Burl Ives [folk singer/actor] (b. 1909) Ernesto (Che) Guevara Latin American revolutionary] (b. 1928) --- ...Cool! Thanks James! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) >Three Little Pigs Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. 'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy. 'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy. [=] | | }@{ / \ :___; |&&&| |&&&| |---| jgs '---' 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy. The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner. 'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy. 'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy. [=] | | }@{ / \ :___; |&&&| |&&&| |---| jgs '---' 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. 'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy. 'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy. [=] | | }@{ / \ :___; |&&&| |&&&| |---| jgs '---' 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy. 'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,' But why have you only ordered beer all evening?' . . . . . You're gonna LOVE me for this.... . . . . The third piggy says - ,. (_|,. ,' /, )_______ _ __j o``-' `.'-)' (") \' `-j | `-._( / hjw |_\ |--^. / /_]'|_| /_)_/ /_]' /_]' 'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!' Aren't you sorry I have your email address????? --- ...LOL! Thank You Linda - and NO I am absolutely delighted that you share with us! Keep 'em coming gf! HUGGUMS! -<>- + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- >How To Stop Church Gossip Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there would know what he was doing! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house .. walked home ... and left it there all night. (You gotta love Frank!) --- ...HaHa - Smart Eh? Thanks Linda! -<>- _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb >Woman: While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? ' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.' 'My gosh,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, We No Longer Call It The Cockpit' It's The Box Office.' .-. (/^\) (\ /) .-'-. /(_I_)\ \\) (// / \ \ | / \|/ /|\ \|/ jgs /Y\ Quote of the day: 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of it back.' Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....on a broomstick if need be, We are flexible like that. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Linda! -<>- ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) Good Old Maxine ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ doing her run again ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( .......well... \( )/ \_______/ \ / / ...sitting! Lololol y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ >MAXINE: Hello - I have a question - or two! Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~* Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?' *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The ' and 'IRS' together, it spells 'THEIRS'? --- ...Figures huh? LOL! Thanks Linda! -<>- M A X I N E , , \y ,--.y/ /,---. )\ / (((\\)\ \ \ \\-_/ / / \ i i / (_)=(_) ) . ( /\---/\ / )-( \ / / \ \ / ," ". \ / / \ \ hjw /-) (-\ / ^! !^ \ >Maxine for PRESIDENT IN 2012 Here we are, already discussing the future President of the United States , beginning with the Year 2012. For those of you who would like THE VERY BEST choice for President, we have a solution: It is probably time we have a woman as President. One choice is a very special lady who has just about every answer to assist in helping us to solve our problems. PLEASE give this a thought when you have a moment.... MAXINE FOR PRESIDENT! Maxine on "Driver Safety" "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."....... Maxine on "Lawn Care" "The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless." Maxine on "The Perfect Man" "All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away.. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed." Maxine on "Technology Revolution" "My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice." Maxine on "Aging" "Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita." "I'm telling you .. she's the perfect candidate." "The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals ." "The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket." "To err is human; to forgive, highly unlikely." "Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels?"(Now that's scary!) "Money can't buy happiness--but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia." "After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere...you may be dead." If you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes, nothing will happen..but you'll rob them of a whole bunch of much-needed laughter. --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! More Maxine humor here... http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor.html Maxine On Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonjesus.html -<>- [politics] >Who Does The Land of Israel Belong To? An Israeli sense of humor at United Nations recently set the record straight. An ingenious example of speech, humor and politics occurred recently in the United Nations General Assembly and made the world community smile. The representative from Israel began: "Before starting my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' "So Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. But when he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!" At this point, the Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then!" The Israeli representative looked at him, smiled and said, "Thank you. And now that we have made that fact clear, I will begin my speech..." --- ...TaaDah!! TeeHee! Thanks Linda! -<>- We were warned.... sSSSSSs SS;; SSSS S< ?SSS S> SSS ___)(____ ( \/ ) \||, )( ( / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ \./ )==( / / / \//' ( '|\` \ / \ / ) ( / \ jgs / \ / \ `-........-' / ) / ) /_/|/_/| but ignored the signs! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2s6xc0nIpQ --- ...Scary - especially the end! Thanks Linda! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _ /) mo / ) |/)\) /\_ \__|= ( ) __)(__ _________+______/ \______+__________ __-- | R.I.P. |-_-- __ _-- - | ___ __________ ___ | -_-- __ || | | | {| /| | || __--- --_ --__- || | | | {| /|| | ||-- - || | | | {| /||| | ||__-- __-- -__|| | | | {| |}||| | ||-- __-- ||_|_|_|_{| |}|||_|_|| -__ --__- -|| | | | {& |}||/ | ||--- __-- || | | | {| |}|/| | ||-__ -- __--|| | | | {| |}/|| | ||__-- -__ -- || | | | {| &}||| | || __ --- __-|| | | | {| |}||| | ||_---__- -- - -_ || | | | {| |}||| | || -- __ejm 97|| | | | {| |}||| | ||_--__- _--- _________||_|_|_|_{| |}|||_|_||______________ |}|/ |}/ |/ >PECANS IN THE CEMETERY On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me' said one boy.. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..' He just knew what it was.. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. 'Come here quick,' said the Boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.' The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.' The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord..' Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me.. That's all.... Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done..' They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike. --- ...HaHa! Thanks Jo Ann!! -<>- mathemagician 1+1=2 /\ \ c") ;-/\> || kOs >In The News: Just wanted to keep y'all in the loop. You may want to pass this one along to other concerned citizens. A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a Breaking morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow. --- ...Oh No! Not That!!!! LMAO! Thanks Jo Ann!! ================================================================ >-->In The WorldlyNews: California School District Cancels Fundraiser After Submission of Scripture-Inscribed Bricks A California school district has canceled a fundraising program featuring memorial bricks, scuttling proceeds of $45,000, after two women submitted Bible verses in their tributes. Read more: http://tinyurl.com/63pqc2k -<>- [Politics] >From Our Friend PatDeE: Just passing it on folks. After all, we were promised change, weren't we? Sales Tax on Home Sales! Did you know that if you sell your house after 2012 you will pay a 3.8% sales tax on it? That's $3,800 on a $100,000 home, etc. When did this happen? It's in the health care bill. Visit Here for The scoop of this one from Snopes.com: http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/realestate.asp --- ...Thanks PatDeE! oh, go figure! Obama would slide this one in on us. This is a mixture of true and false - only true 3.8% on profits over the capital gains threshold - whatever the heck that means! I don't like math stuff so much! Thanks to our new ObamaCare we have to hire an accountant to know if it is smart to sell our house? That's messed up! Just another screw the capitalist Obama made sure to have in there so we are more socialistic. No wonder free enterprise is sitting on its hands and not hiring! Too many penalties for making a large profitable business. -<>- >From PatriotUpdate: 'Revolutionary' Bill to Make All Federal Expenditures Transparent http://tinyurl.com/3ll7dwt -<>- >From VisionToAmerica: What We Expect from a President Michele Bachmann http://tinyurl.com/3g84px6 -<>- >From TheTeaParty: Tea Party - Washington Spending Madness http://www.teaparty.org/view_email.php?id=1224 News Updates, Events, Facebook Rants http://tinyurl.com/63jcjmd -<>- >From BizarreNews: I have always been a strong proponent of education. I believe that education can solve (or at least go a long way toward solving) a lot of societal problems like teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, crime and poverty. A high school education would have also saved this overly entrepre- neurial man. The body of a man has been found on Detroit's east side, and police said they believe he died in the midst of trying to steal valuable metal. Police said the man appears to have been trying to steal copper from a power line when he was electrocuted and fell to the ground. Police said they're not sure when the man died but that a neighborhood businessman reported the body Monday afternoon. Now compare that with the story of an injured dog in New Mexico who went to a hospital for treatment. When the automatic doors at San Juan Regional Medical Center's emergency room slid open Saturday night, the pooch walked in, blood on his nose and paw, and a puncture hole in one leg. Animal control officer Robin Loev responded to a call from the hospital and suspects the puncture wound was from the bite of another dog. Loev says the German shepherd mix appeared to be intelligent and calm and knew enough to go to the right place. And he probably knows not to chew on power lines, too. +-- Piercing record holder gets married --+ EDINBURGH, Scotland - A Scottish world record holder with nearly 7,000 piercings, including 192 on her face, has married a man with no piercings or tattoos. Elaine Davidson, 46, married Douglas Watson, who is in his 60s, in a Wednesday ceremony at the central Register Office in Edinburgh, The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. "Elaine looked astonishing," Watson said after the wedding. "People see the piercings but I see the amazing personality underneath. We have known each other for a long time... I am always amazed by the effect her pierc- ings have on people. She's an incredible woman. People think its unconventional but that is the woman she is and people love her for it." Davidson was first certified as a Guinness World Record holder in 2000, when she had only 462 piercings. That number has since grown to 6,925, she said. +-- Man blames violence on wolf scratch --+ AMHERST, Ohio - Authorities in Ohio said a man arrested after behaving violently and growling at sheriff's deputies blamed his actions on a scratch from a wolf. Lorain County sheriff's deputies said Thomas Stroup, 20, was arrested at about 12:30 a.m. Sunday after they received a call of a "very violent" male attacking people at the Timber Ridge Campground in Amherst, The Chronicle- Telegram, Elyria, Ohio. Deputies said a friend of Stroup who was at the scene told them the suspect had consumed a large amount of alcohol and fought with other campers, who left before deputies arrived. Stroup was found sleep- ing under a trailer and growled at the deputies before being placed under arrest. The deputies said Stroup apologized for his behavior while en route to the Lorain County Jail and told them he had consumed too much vodka and his violent behavior was the result of a wolf scratch that drives him to act violently during the full moon. Stroup was charged with underage consumption. -<>- >From Archives BizarreNews: - Clerk attacked with juice, Slim Jim ---------- HINGHAM, Mass. - Police Massachusetts said they arrested a woman who attacked a store clerk with a Slim Jim meat snack and a bottle of apple juice. Hingham police said the woman, identified as Nancy Ward, 46, of Hingham, became enraged Aug. 7 because a Cracker Barrel store did not have an item she wanted and she believed she had been over- charged by a clerk, The Patriot Ledger, Quincy, Mass., reported. The woman allegedly threw a bottle of apple juice at the clerk, striking him in the head, and punched him before throwing the Slim Jim snack at him. Then, police said, she tore down the store's flag and drove away in a black Saab convertible. Police were alerted to be on the lookout for the woman, and Ward was spotted the next day playing music loudly and singing in her car. She was arrested and charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery, disorderly conduct and malicious destruction of property. -- Last call for bartender -- after 77 years -------- WEST VIEW, Pa. - A 95-year-old Pennsylvania man listed by Guinness World Records as the world's longest-serving bartender has announced his intention to retire. Angelo Cammarata, 95, said he and his sons sold Cammarata's Cafe in West View, where he has been tending bar for most of his 77 years in the profession, and he will no longer be seen behind the bar once the new owners are approved by the state within the next few weeks, the Pittsburgh Post- Gazette reported. "It was a pleasure," Cammarata said of his years behind the bar, "because I met so many wonderful people." He said the new owners, who are changing the name to Danny's, asked him to stay on, but he decided to retire and take care of his wife, Marietta, at their home in Ross, Pa. -- Boy, 8, becomes youngest wing-walker ----------- LONDON - An 8-year-old London boy has become the youngest person in the world to walk on the wings of an airplane in mid-flight. Tiger Brewer broke the record -- set eight years ago by a then-11-year-old -- by wing-walking on his grandfather's biplane Thursday, 1,000 feet above Rendcomb Airfield in Gloucestershire, England, The Times of London reported. "On take-off I was scared. From one to 10, it was probably a nine, but when I was in the air, it was probably a five," he said. "It felt amazing, like I was on top of the world. It was cold and windy but it can't be beat. You don't have a parachute, just a pair of goggles." The boy's father, Colin, said the family was not too concerned for Tiger's safety. "I wasn't scared for him physically, just emotionally," the father said. "He was nervous and although he acts like a big man, he is only 8. But he just kept repeating his mantra, 'Go away fear,' and he did it. He wanted to do this for years but wasn't tall enough." ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) "When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are." ~ Cary Grant \ i. / s / \ \ / / .n' | a |_.-._ / / / .-' `-. --._ / / | / \-.__' `. | ( | | _ \ _ .-. \ | `-.-' | .-' '-. | ' `-. ( )_ | `-._ \ ( | \ / \ `-' `. `--. \ ) \ \`-' / | .' \ .- '-.| `-._.-' \ / \ | / \ . `._.-' | | / | | ' / | (_/ | `-._ _.' \ //\ .| `--' \" \ '\ \___/)_ | | ` \_ \` , \ \ (\ .o-`-o | \__ _______,-'\` \ ( | | | \\ | [nabis] b "" \ Family Tree Templates http://www.familytreetemplates.net/ --- ...Cool! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) , . ,~~~~~~~~. /| |\ (Oooooch...) {_;""\} ( *MHMPFF* )O o (* @'-, \|||/ `~~~~~~~~" ,~ \~,"" (o o) ; , (" ,----ooO--(_)-------. | | | | Please | /| | \ | don't feed the | ,(=~~==[]) | TROLL's ! | ( \`-' ;( '--------------Ooo--' ) \ /\ \ |__|__| ( ) ) ) ) || || * /_/ /_/ ooO Ooo |_\ |_\ JW >DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (Or the uncertainty of the English language) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ---------------------------------------------------------- A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied.. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ---------------------------------------------------------- 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' ---------------------------------------------------------- A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ------------------------------------------------------------ An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife..' ----------------------------------------------------------- Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. ----------------------------------------------------------- A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ----------------------------------------------------------- Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.' ------------------------------------------------------------ Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' ------------------------------------------------------------ A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'Oh? What did he say?' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' ------------------------------------------------------------- While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. ------------------------------------------------------------- The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.' --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___________________________ || || || ||\ || || || || \|| || || || \| || || || \ ||_________ ||_ _|| \ \ | ______o | _/| | | | _______ | _ | | | |/_\| |//| || |_______ _______ | /_\| | | ||#|\ |/ | || | ~~~ | | | | |#|| |______| ||_| \ | |\ ||__ |___ _ | | | /|_||_~________| \ | / / / \ |__ |#|-| |_ ___| / \______/ \|/ /| | | |_ |##__| | |_|## | /__________________________/|| | | | ||____| |_______| ||/oooooooo oo oo| /| / \/\ | | |_|| \/ooooooooo_oo_oo|/_U/ \ \ \____/ |__| /____________________________\ \__||__ | \/ \ | / |__| _| /___| O) \______/ m1a // \\ // \\ O) O DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or older) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. -<>- : , ,-':'-._ ,; ', __..-' : '-.___...-,;' ;, : ,;'; ; ', : ,;' ; ; ', _.-:-,_ ,;' ; ; ;,/\:/\,;' ; ; ; /\,O;/\: ; ; ,__/\(+)/\ ; ; .,_,--', /; ;\ '-,_ ', -; ", ; _',,' '-,_ ; ; ';-'' '-; '-,_; ; ; ', ,-"-,_ ; ; ; ,' ; ; ', ; ; ; _.._ ; ; ;; _.-' '--..___;; ;.-' ; ;' ', ; ; ; ltb ; ; We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" my brother asked. "There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!" -<>- >Think you're a genius? Take the below quiz. Passing requires 4 correct answers. 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat-gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What color is a purple finch? 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? . . . . . All done, genius? Check your answers below. 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years 2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October revolution? November 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs 7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert. 8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson. 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand. -<>- .'''. '(("""))' '((O.O))' '; o ;' .("|((, / | || (_ | |/ ,'..,' : ScS @[.,..' \ `, | | | In one of K.C.'s classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple - the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argu- ment by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?" -<>- The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disap- pointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store." -<>- Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said, inconsolable. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" -<>- _____ (((\\\\\ )_ \\\| / \/ = , & \(__- \ (( _ |` /\)))| ` |_| \__| \ | , \ \ | ,\ \ \ ' / \_ ` \ `__/ ._ | ` \ ejm / `-| | |` / ,`. \_____| |/\ / / `. ` |__| | === / / ==== `./ /, /========= / / / / |, /__ /== / ///' ======== __-' | / , ' - -- === ==( , ============== \ \ ========= ===== \ \===== \ \ ===== \ \ ============== \__ \ == / ` == ============== _/ / ======= '__ ' A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?" -<>- In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?" -<>- For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. "That's a nice shot," I said. "It's my passport picture," she revealed. "Really?" I stared in complete amazement at my homebody grandma. "Where did you go?" "Walgreens," she replied. -<>- A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus. "It's a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said. "What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let's Just Be Friends virus?" ============================================================== >-->From Laugh&Lift: "Fear imprisons, Faith liberates; Fear paralyzes, Faith empowers; Fear disheartens, Faith encourages; Fear sickens, Faith heals; Fear makes useless, Faith makes serviceable; And most of all, Fear puts hopelessness at the heart of life, while Faith rejoices in it's God." - Henry Emerson Fosdick -<>- The Lift: _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ >*TRIALS PRAYER* (By list member Debbie Preuss, June 28, 2003) Dear Lord, When I cannot see the road ahead Help me remember what You've said That You are with me all the way By my side, You'll always stay When I'm in the valley of despair Help me remember that You are there When I'm on the mountain top Remind me, Your love won't stop When trial comes, help me to see That through this time, You're leading me Help me persevere through each day Help me trust You and obey When fear threatens to creep in Lord, through You, I can win When tribulations come my way I know with You, I'll be okay Help me hold on and be strong May I hear, Your heart's song Break me Lord, if You must For in You, I put my trust When I'm in the valley's deep Hold me Lord, while I weep Then gently Father, lead me on Through the valley 'til the shadows gone Grant me wisdom, Lord to see That by Your hand, You're leading me Lord, I put my trust in You To ever, always lead me through You are with me all the way By my side, You'll always stay I will remember what You've said When I cannot see the road ahead -<>- The Laughs _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >*Quick Jokes* After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?" -------- In my job as an electronics salesman, I've seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy. One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVD's, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of-factly, "Does it get cable?" -------- We've just been informed that the Internal Revenue Service has simplified its 1040 forms for next year in the spirit of becoming a "kinder, gentler" IRS. It goes like this: (A) HOW MUCH DID YOU MAKE LAST YEAR?____________ (B) HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE LEFT?_________________ (C) SEND IN AMOUNT ON LINE B. ---------- "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." ---------- .--------------. .---' o . `---. .-' . O . . `-. .-' @@@@@@ . `-. .'@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ . `. .'@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ `. /@@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ O \ / @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@ @@ . \ /@ o @@@@@@@@@@@ . @@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@ \ /@@@ . @@@@@@ o @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@@@ \ /@@@@@ @ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ \ |@@@@@ O `.-./ . . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ | / @@@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ . \ Full Moon + |@ @@@@ . @ @ ` @ @@ . @@@@@@ | 0 5:15:36 | @@ o @@ . @@@@@@ | Last Quarter | . @ @ @ o @@ o @@@@@@. | 7 3:55:27 \ @ @ @ .-. @@@@ @@@ / | @ @ @ `-' . @@@@ . . | \ . o @ @@@@ . @@ . . / \ @@@ @@@@@@ . o / \ @@@@@ @@\@@ / O . / \ o @@@ \ \ / __ . . .--. / \ . . \.-.--- `--' / `. `-' . .' `. o / | ` O . .' `-. / | o .-' `-. . . .-' `---. . .---' `--------------' Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs...the tallest ones, anyway....... ---------- Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." -<>- >*Quotes from Women* 1. So many men, so few who can afford me. 2. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all. 3. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips. 4. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog. 5. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich. 6. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. 7. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. 8. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. 9. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now. 10. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time. 11. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win. 12. My husband is the head of the household, but I'm the neck (and the neck can turn the head anyway it wants it to move). -<>- _.-----._ _' ' '_ '_____________' | +_+ | ==--'_D__,'---==. / > \_/ < | / >__\o_| o/ | | | |_/ , | \,_____/_) o | | | o ' o | | | o | o |_/| ' o | o ' | | o | o |_/ | o | o |)) | | | | \ | |___o/ \_____| | | | __) >|< (__ (____,_|_,____) b'ger >*How to test an American impostor:* Ask him/her to explain the following: [read it out loud - odd how we just 'know' how to pronounce each word correctly though spelled exactly the same!] 1. - A bandage was wound around the wound. 2. - This farm was used to produce produce. 3. - This dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. - Polish the Polish furniture. 5. - Do not decide to desert your dessert in the desert. 6. - No time like the present, so he decided to present the present. 7. - A picture of a bass was on a bass drum. 8. - Suddenly, the dove dove. 9. - Do not object to the object. 10. - If you're too close to the door you can't close it. 11. - A pig farmer taught his smartest sow how to sow seeds. 12. - A number of Novocain injections makes you number. 13. - The tear in the picture made the owner shed a tear. 14. - A cop must subject the subject to questions. 15. - A seamstress and a sewer fell into the sewer. [cool huh?] -<>- (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >*This Is FAITH!* A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not. Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy. "Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle." The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the "realities" of the miracles of the Bible. "That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across." The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible laying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation. "Wow!" exclaimed the boy happily, "God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10-inches of water!" _SUBSCRIBE INFO_ Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ===================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Look Who's Talking 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking3.html Life's Little Oops 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops5.html Nanny Animals http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals.html Amazing Bike Car http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bikecar.html Classic Chevy Collection http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevy.htm Roller Coasters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coaster.html World's Best Dad http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/wbdad.html World's Best Husband http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/husbands.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Bad Luck http://www.buffaloschips.com/fasd.htm Boogie Woogie http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdjlk.htm Ford Police Chase http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfds.htm Man Cheats DEA http://www.buffaloschips.com/asgs.htm Missile http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkhjg.htm Dog Wants Out http://www.buffaloschips.com/32843.htm Awesome http://www.buffaloschips.com/32844.htm Transforming http://www.buffaloschips.com/32845.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I'm not afraid of small children." --Jonathan Katz "Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded." --Tim Allen "I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when some- one says something like, 'Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?' or 'Do you have the $50 you borrowed?' Man, quit being so cheap!" --Jack Handey "At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy in the head and I should be committed to a mental institu- tion. Why do women always want us to make a commitment?" -Unknown After examining the paltry tips left by a church group, our waitress was not pleased. Looking toward my table, she grumbled, "Those people come in with the Ten Commandments and a ten-dollar bill, and they don't break any of them!" I answer a lot of questions at the information desk at Olympic National Park, in Washington State. But one visitor stumped me: "Do you have any trails that just go downhill?" Even though it was warm outside, the heat was on full blast in my office at the hospital. So I asked our nursing unit secretary to get someone to fix it. This was a one-man job, so I could not figure out why two guys showed up -- until I was handed the maintenance request form. It read "Head nurse is hot." When you get married and have a kid, you can't do all those things you wanted to do as a young existentialist of seventeen or eighteen... like kill yourself." -Al Rae "Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke is predicting that the economy will pick up in the second half of the year. So you know what that means: nothing." -Jimmy Fallon "The Los Angeles police commission has voted to get rid of the red light traffic cameras. It's very upsetting to me, because I loved posing for them." -Craig Ferguson "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) "Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none." -Benjamin Franklin "President Obama said today he's not concerned about a double dip recession. He's more concerned the recovery we're in is not creating enough jobs. In fact, do you know what you call a recovery that isn't creating enough jobs? A recession." -Jay Leno "If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them." -Isaac Asimov >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************