Festival Of Sleep Day And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This hottie comes from our friends Jo Ann And Sandi!
Such an adorable one, I just had to share it with
all of you! Check it out here...
/\____/\ __
.' """" `,-' `--.__
__,- : - - ; " :: `-. -.__
,-sssss `._ `' _,'" ,'~~~::`.sssss-.
|ssssss ,' ,_`--'_ __,' :: ` `.ssssss|
|sssssss `-._____~ `,,'_______,---_;; ssssss|
|ssssssssss `--'~{__ ____ ,'ssssss|
`-ssssssssssssssssss ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssss.-'
`---.sssssssssssssssssssss.---' Susie Oviatt
Cat Spot Tips!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catspots.html
---
...So Cute! Thank You Ladies!!
-<>-
>-->Reader Comments - From Our Friend Andy :)
| \ \ | |/ /
| |\ `' ' /
| ;'aorta \ / , pulmonary
| ; _, | / / , arteries
superior | | ( `-.;_,-' '-' ,
vena cava | `, `-._ _,-'_
|,-`. `.) ,<_,-'_, pulmonary
,' `. / ,' `;-' _, veins
; `./ /`, \-'
| right / | ;\ |\
| atrium ;_,._|_, `, ' \
| \ \ ` `,
` __ ` \ left ;,
\ ,' ` \, ventricle
\_( ;, ;;
| \ `;, ;;
inferior | |`. `;;, ;'
vena cava | | `-. ;;;;,;' FL
| | |`-.._ ,;;;;;'
| | | | ``';;;'
aorta
Re - Aspirin and heart attacks.
I just checked in Snopes and this new crystal aspirin is NOT
recommended as it contains 850 milligrams of aspirin, 10 times higher
than the dose recommended by the FDA for use in conjunction with a
heart attack. It also has 65MG of caffeine, which will INCREASE the
heart rate.
Having read that I feel the crystal Aspirin would lead to a stronger
heart attack.
Andy.
---
...Ouch! Yes, Andy, I do believe you are right!
Snopes link:
http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/aspirin.asp
Thank You for this info! I normally check with snopes, but
with this tip, I didn't think some one would lie about it.
I guess the devil is always in the details so to speak.
Always have to be vigilant like the bible tells us to.
===============================================================
>-->From The FunnyBone:
Crayon Mystery
/^\
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring /___\
books. [_____]
|_____|
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss |=====|
Francis, I ain't got no crayons." | _ |
| / \ |
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have || ||
any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have || ||
any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see || ||
what I'm getting at?" | \_/ |
jgs |_____|
"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them |=====|
crayons?" '-----'
===================================================================
+-------------- Bizarre January Holidays ---------------+
January 1 is First Foot Day and Z Day
January 2 is Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody
Salutes It Day
January 3 is Festival of Sleep Day
"", &&& |\ |
/ && = > _ \ / | \ |
/ && _C Y /-\ \/\/ | \|
\ )(
\ \ ,""
) ( \/
( \
) \
/ \
/~~~~~~~\
ejm98 ) )
[no wonder I was so tired today!)
January 4 is Trivia Day and Humiliation Day
January 5 is Bird Day
January 6 is Bean Day
January 7 is Old Rock Day
January 8 is National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day
January 9 is Play God Day
January 10 is Peculiar People Day
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Becky :)
.--._..--.
___ ( _'-_ -_.'
_.-' `-._| - :- |
_.-' `--...__|
.-' '--..___
/ `._ \
`. `._ |
`. `._ /
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;;;:::. (\| - _ ```---.._.'
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(o) ;;::., |_ - - |;;;:
(\'/) ::;; (o) | -_ -_L ``::;;;.
.;;' (\ '/) | -_ _ G (o) ..;;
''' ;:;;.,|(o) _-B(\'/)
;;;;::: ;::(\'/);;:|;:; ;'
>Thank you!
I want to thank all of you for Your educational e-mails over the past
year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I no longer ask the waitress to put lemon slices in my ice water for
fear of the bacteria and pesticides on the lemon peel.
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what
has happened on it since it was last washed 6 months ago.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because
the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only
imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor
of a public bathroom.
I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat
crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge
with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.
I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of
ice with my kidneys gone.
I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered
if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within
five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a
serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven
different types of cancer.
THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black
snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when
it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a Penny dropped in
the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester
waiting to grab me as I bend over.
I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies
supports Al Quaida, and buying gas from all the others supports South
American dictators.
I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the
last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the
Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their
e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m
tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your
back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because
it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-
in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician...
PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by
e-mail that water sprays more than 6 ft. out of the toilet.
---
...HaHa! Thanks Becky!
These were the ones I was used to having to check - not a simple
one about aspirin! Geesh! Makes ya wonder about people huh?
====================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :)
_________________
/ _ /|
/ / / ####### //
/ /_/ ####### // KDDR
/ ______________ //
==============='
>Ode To January
'Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house
nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled,
the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvellous meals
I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces
and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said,
'No thank you, please.'
As I dressed myself
in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again
to do battle with dirt -
I said to myself,
as I only can
'You can't spend a winter
disguised as a man!'
So - away
with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like
must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces
have vanished.
I won't have a cookie
- not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew
on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits,
or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot
and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
and life is a bore.
But isn't that what
January is for?
Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all
and to all a good diet!
*~*EAT FRUIT AND EXERCISE*~*
__.
/-7 k
.-' o.-'/
/ .; \
( [ )
\ [.---.
;/ \ )
\ (/
) | AsH
/ \ (
[_' \_~
---
...HaHa Love It! Thanks Jo Ann!
===========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Del :)
[POLITICS]
>Congressional reform Act of 2011
This has been kicked around for a while but it still has merit.
The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took
only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded
it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell
phones, etc.
Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less
to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.
I'm asking you to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on
your address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.
In three days, most people in The United States of America will have
the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.
Congressional Reform Act of 2011
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below.
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms
2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay
when they are out of office.
3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social
Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social
Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.
4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all
Americans do.
5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional
pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in
the same health care system as the American people.
7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.
8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/11.
The American people did not make the current contract with members of
Congress. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),
then go home and back to work.
If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only
take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.
MUCH OF WHAT WE FACE IN TERMS OF PRIVILEGE AND SELFISHNESS IN THIS
COUNTRY MIGHT BEST BE CHANGED STARTING FROM THE TOP DOWN. If you agree
with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete
You are one of my 20. I INVITE YOU TO KEEP IT GOING. WHATEVER YOU
CHOOSE -- THANKS!
---
...Ditto Del!
==============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
[POLITICS]
>From Freedon Works:
2010 Year In Review
http://action.freedomworks.org/email/view/936/
-<>-
>From Grassfire:
I don't know about you, but I am eager to face the challenges
of the New Year and the opportunity to work together with
you to restore and rebuild our nation back to greatness!
An integral part of our action plan for 2011 includes our
brand new Patriot Action Network -- the largest and fastest
growing conservative social action network in the nation!
Click here to visit:
http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=36114&RID=10702139
The Patriot Action Network was uniquely designed around the
needs of conservative citizens just like you.
-<>-
>From Conservative Outpost:
Fellow Conservative,
Do you already consider yourself a part of the Tea Party movement?
Have you joined with other activists to organize both locally and
online?
We’ve been working on a new project to better enable Tea Party
conservatives to organize online and find fellow likeminded activists,
or even to be found by others.
We call it the Tea Party Outpost.
It begins with a simple proposition. A Tea Party Pledge, signed by
everyone who joins, committing themselves publicly to comprehensive
conservative principles and limited constitutional government.
Click and take the Tea Party Pledge
http://www.teapartyoutpost.org/
-<>-
>From: Michele Bachmann
Dear Fellow Conservative,
As the new Congress convenes this week, our first priority must be to
get our nation's debt under control. However, many of my colleagues in
the House are afraid to stand up and speak out against raising the debt
ceiling. Last month, you received this email with a call to action to
sign our petition against raising the debt ceiling. The response has
been so overwhelming that I've decided to extend our 72-hour deadline
to this Friday. We have collected over 50,000 signatures so far, but I
know we can collect more.
If you have not yet added your name to the petition, please take a
minute to follow this link to do so. We must show Democrats and
Republicans in Congress that the conservative grassroots activists
around the country oppose raising the debt ceiling that will further
burden our children and grandchildren with massive debt.
MICHELE-PAC is dedicated to supporting elected officials who share our
constitutional conservative values. With votes like this one looming in
the next Congress, we need to know you stand with us.
Please sign the petition right away! Thank you.
http://tinyurl.com/35r2kxm
Michele
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Who ever said today's youth is stupider than they ever were?
Because they might have been talking about the kids in Apollo
Beach, Florida.
Two Apollo Beach brothers were arrested after the son of a
theft victim saw Internet photos of them wearing what appeared
to be his mother's gold chains. The two boys, ages 14 and 16,
were charged with third-degree grand theft.
Oh, wait, it gets better. Police also arrested several other
suspects. One, who was wearing an electronic ankle monitor,
denied being involved in burglaries but was charged after the
monitor allegedly placed him at the crime scene.
Investigators arrested some of the suspects by posing as
buyers of stolen items. Thousands of dollars worth of laptop
computers, jewelry and other items were seized.
A spokeswoman for the Sheriff's Department, said surfing the
Web is becoming a common law enforcement tool. Especially with
idiots like these guys logging on every day to advertise their
crimes!
_
(_)
|______________________________________
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|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&& &&&&&&&|
|&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&|
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
-- Leafs spectator arrested after waffle toss -------
TORONTO - A Toronto Maple Leafs fan was ejected from a
game, and then arrested, after becoming the latest to
throw waffles onto the ice to protest the team's poor
play. Toronto police charged Joseph Robb, 31, of Oakville
with mischief after he allegedly threw several waffles
and an Eggo box onto the ice during the third period of
Monday night's loss to the Atlanta Thrashers, the Toronto
Star reported. Robb was banned from all three Maple Leaf
Sports & Entertainment arenas, officials said. A man first
threw a handful of waffles onto the ice after the team's
Dec. 9 loss against the Philadelphia Flyers and a Twitter
user who identified himself as Jack M. took responsibility
and threatened to strike again. Using the handle "EGGO_
BOMBER," he tweeted the Leafs "need to wake up and eat
some breakfast." The Leafs (12-17-4) have lost three
straight games and five of their last seven, and are in
last place in the Northeast Division, 12 points behind
first-place Montreal.
^^ .-=-=-=-. ^^
^^ (`-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
( `-=-=-=-(@)-=-=-` ) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^
(`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^
jgs (`-=-=-=-=-`)
`-=-=-=-=-`
-- Man burns house trying to smoke out bees -------
LAKE WORTH, Fla. - Florida firefighters said a man caused
heavy damage to his home when he tried and failed to smoke
a bee colony out of his house. Capt. Don DeLucia, spokes-
man for Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue, said Mario Go of
Lake Worth was trying to smoke the bees out of a column
supporting a second-story balcony Tuesday and accidentally
set the house on fire, The Palm Beach Post reported.
DeLucia said the fire caused about $50,000 worth of damage
but no one was injured. He said the fire failed to drive
away the bees.
-- Police follow debris to stolen ATM ---------
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Police in Florida said they followed
a trail of debris from a credit union to a suspect in a
front-end loader carrying an ATM ripped from the building.
Jacksonville police said they responded to a burglar
alarm about 3:50 a.m. Monday and discovered the Vystar
Credit Union structure had been demolished and an ATM
was missing, The (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union
reported Wednesday. Investigators followed a trail of
debris to a Caterpillar front-end loader attempting to
turn from a highway onto a bike trail. They said the
driver of the loader kept going despite police turning on
their lights then put the heavy machine into reverse and
headed straight for a patrol car. The police car evaded
the machine and it again fled away, but stopped after
about 500 feet and police arrested Robert Anderson, 31.
Police said the ATM was severely damaged but its cash
cartridge remained intact. Anderson was jailed on charges
of burglary in excess of $1,000 and aggravated assault.
===========================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
Caricature Zone
Play funny free games with celebrity caricatures. Six
hundred caricatures of international stars and easy-to-use
method of sketching faces with a few clicks.
Visit: http://www.magixl.com/
-<>-
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
|| :-" "-; ||
:; :;
/ .==. .==. \
: _.--._ ;
; .--.' `--' `.--. :
: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' :
'. `--' .'
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
/`- -'\
/`- -'\
:`- .' `. -';
; / \ :
: : ; ;
; ; : :
':_:.' '.;_;'
:_ _;
; "-._ -" :`-. _.._
:_ () _; "--::__. `.
\"- -"/`._ :
.-"-. -"-. ""--..____.'
/ .__ __. \
: / , / "" \ . \ ; bug
"-:___..--" "--..___;-"
>Ten Things A Cat Thinks About
1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make
noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have
ULTERIOR motives?
5. Hmmm... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats,
why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do
anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization
of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to
invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky
just to let THEM know who's boss!
==============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Wesley :)
heard this one? don't know if true
i Track it!
I_-_ '
I(")_____.
<\. ,----~
:/_(
( ,)
uU `-.---U`=
lL (~~/>
- a:f -
>The World's Largest Army. America's Hunters?
The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting
season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over
600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two
months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than
Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of
a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay. But that
pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania
this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in
a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the
case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the
largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign
invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower.
Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a
matter of national security!
Now you know why the liberal anti-gun group wants to take
the guns away.
---
...Interesting! Thanks Wesley
I don't know if it is real either but this fact checker
place seems to think if it is right on, then it is close.
http://tinyurl.com/2wr779r
===============================================================
>-->From Laugh&Lift:
>>>>>\|/<<<<<
>>>\\\\\v/////<<<
>>>\\\\\vvv/////<<<
>>>(vvvvvvvvv)<<<
>>>>) (.)_(.) (<<<<
>>>/ (_) \<<<
>( (._ _.) )<
\ `---' /
"'--._.--'"
.--.____| u |____.--.
/___| |__\___/__| |___\
|___|_|_________|_|___|
|___[_]_________[_]___|
|___| |_________| |___|
|___| ========= |___|
|___| |-------| |___|
|___| | | |___|
|___| \_____/ |___|
.-|.__/ \__.|-.
\ [ctr] /
) ____/ \____ (
\ /
\ \ \ v / / /
\ ' | ' /
\ | /
) | (
| | |"""| |
| | |:::| |
| | |:::| |
| | '"""' |
|---. | |
|,,,| | |
|___| | |
| | |
|_______|_______|
.---._ |==| |==| _.---.
( '----\\__|==|_ _|==|__//----' )
\ '==' ) ( '==' /
'-._ _ | | _ _.-'
'"""""""' '""""' '""""' '"""""""'
>Quick Jokes
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign .....
Energy efficient vehicle.
Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step on exhaust.
--------------
A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to
Australia."
His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you
going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"
The first guy replies, "I'm going to go back and get her."
--------------
This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with
Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations
*****
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a
collision
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course
Canadians: No I say again, you divert YOUR course
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST
SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH,
OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
-<>-
*
/ \
/ * \
@@@@@@@
( @ @ )
\ l /
\ 0 /
__@@@@@__
/ * \
/ /| * |\ \
/ / | * | \ \
( ( | * | ) )
\ \ | * | / /
\ \|#####|/ /
&&|#####|&&
%|##|##|%
|##|##|
(##|##)
|##|##|
|##|##|
_|##|##|_
(^^^^|^^^^)
"""""""""""
>Live Long and Prosper
While none of us knows what will happen in this new year, here's some
rules that if you follow, you'll help ensure you'll make it through in
one piece:
- Don't throw a brick straight up.
- Walk around toxic waste dumps, not throuugh them.
- Your body has the correct number of holees in it. Don't make any more.
- Don't microwave yourself too often.
- Don't stick body parts into electrical ooutlets.
- If you're on a ball field and someone shhouts "Heads up!" don't
actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
- No matter how tempting it is to be one wwith nature, stay on the
outside of all fences at the zoo.
- When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
- Don't take long naps while driving.
-<>-
(")
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>More Words That Should Exist
(By Rich Hall and anonymous contributers)
Arachnidiot - Description of a person who wanders into an "invisible"
spider web and flails around, gyrating wildly, trying to rub it off.
Cheedle - The residue left on your fingers after eating Cheetos
(Registered TM).
Choconiverous - Used to describe a person who bites the head off a
chocolate Easter bunny first.
Deodorend - The last 1/2 inch of a stick deodorant that won't push up,
making the tube good only for underarm lacerations.
Jiffylust - The passionate desire to be the first person to dip into a
brand new jar of peanut butter.
Kawashocky - Pulling into what you thought was an empty parking space,
only to discover a motorcycle is parked there.
Mowmuffins - The accumulated clumps of dried grass on the underside of
the lawn mower.
Nocturnuggets - The deposits you have to rub out of your eyes every
morning after a good night's sleep.
Pajangle - Waking up to find your pajamas have turned 180 degrees
around while you were sleeping.
Prestofrigeration - When searching for a snack, this is the act of
returning to the refrigerator time and again in hopes something new
will have materialized.
Scribbobics - Warm up exercises to get the ink in a pen flowing.
Slackjam - The act of being stuck in your trousers while trying to
remove them without taking off your shoes.
Snackmosphere - The empty yet explosive layer of air at the top of a
bag of potato chips or other snackage.
Spudrubble - The unclaimed fries that have fallen to the bottom of the
fast food sack.
-<>-
,v.
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>How To Unsubscribe
(Author Unknown)
Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like
you had been through a serious war when it was finally completed. I
know I have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more
realistic directions such as these:
To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-
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Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
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Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power
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The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional
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use.
Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet
above sea level to insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen
level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by
Northeast to within the parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather
satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern most
section of the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter
supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" position.
The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to
flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red
light is off, flip the toggle switch labelled "ON/OFF" to the "ON"
position and count to 47 before logging on to the system.
Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to
take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the
compressor while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next,
press control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and
tab simultaneously. Press enter.
You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to
respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic
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Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
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the procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the
unsubscribe policy will result in immediate termination of your
subscription so please follow the above directions closely.
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about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com
====================================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_
_( )_
(_ O _)
(_) ,-. _
_________/_ _________/_ \( )_
\ / / \ / / (_ O _)
)=====@=( )=====@=( (_)
____/_________\____ ____/_________\____
| /^\ /^\ | | /~\ /~\ |
_| \0/_\0/ |_ _| \a/_\a/ |_
(_ _ (_) _ _) (_ _'(_) _ _)
\( \___/ )/ \( \___/ )/
\\\___/// \\ ,-. //
,-._\\___//_,-. __ \\___// __
|* *`-._,-' * | |* *--._,--'* |
| * * (_)* * *| | * * (_)* * *|
|* _,-' `-.* | |* ,-' `-.* |
`-' `-' Stef00 `./ \,'
Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back
was really sore from moving furniture.
"Why didn't you wait till your husband got home?" someone
asked.
"I could have," my mother told the group," but the couch is
easier to move if he's not on it."
-<>-
The bride-to-be was advised by the marriage counselor to
never completely disrobe in front of her husband when
retiring for decorum's sake. One night, six weeks after
the wedding, the husband said to his bride, "Is there any
insanity in your family?"
"Why, no," she said. "Why do you ask?"
"I was merely wondering," said he, "why you haven't taken
your hat off since we've been married?"
-<>-
Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the
Washington Garden Club and kept referring to 'good manure'
that must be used on flowers. Some society ladies complained
(later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman, "Bess, can't you
get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?"
The First Lady replied, "Heavens, it took me 25 years to get
him to say 'manure'."
-<>-
,---.
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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles
to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an eye test.
They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "Heck, I know the guy."
-<>-
My husband and I often spell words so that our small children
won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a
habit this had become until one day when my husband and I
were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.
An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged
me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked
at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!"
"Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."
-<>-
While listening to an oldies radio station, my six-year-old
evidently got the 60's mixed up with the 21st century.
Instead of singing along, "Goin' to the chapel/ And we're
gonna get married," I heard him sing, "Goin' to the chat
room/ And we're gonna get married."
-<>-
My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was
being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's
your IQ anyway?!"
She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"
-<>-
.d88b.
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A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them
missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick
up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them
about a conversation she overheard.
One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas
Mass."
"Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have
a Hanukkah celebration.
Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and we're going to have a
barbecue."
-<>-
I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year
at the holidays. I told them that I was thinking of opening
a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought
I was serious).
Her and her family at the time were vegetarians, but I said
I was going to open a restaurant that specialized in venison
dishes. I was going to call it, "The Buck Stops Here," and
my slogan was going to be, "Bambi: You've seen the movie.
Now, eat the star!"
=============================================================
>-->From JokeCentral:
The Puns...
) (
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( \/ __ __ \/ )
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( | / \ / \ | )
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`"="="="="="`
>DEFINITIONS:
Beriberi: A double funeral (Rosalie Moscovitch)
Lemonade: Government program to repair defective
automobiles. (Judy K.)
Tutor: Tuba player in the marching band
(Stan Kegel)
Texts: The people you call for help when your
computer crashes (Cynthia MacGregor)
Thesis: Abbreviation for “The Sister.”
(Douglas D. Drill)
Anthropology: Monkey business (Hal Stebbins)
Buckshot: Another dollar wasted
(Rosalie Moscovitch)
Freshman: Guy on a date with a sorority girl
(Stan Kegel)
Administration: Happens to a woman once a month
(Cynthia MacGregor)
Balsam: Cry a little (Rosalie Moscovitch)
Theater: A place where ham is served at
exorbitant prices. (Hal Stebbins)
Term Paper: Sheets passed out on first day of
class defining words unique to this course
(Stan Kegel)
Administration: Happens to a woman once a month
(Cynthia MacGregor)
Umbrella: A devise to keep your powder dry.
(Hal Stebbins)
Ransack: Participate in a picnic sack race.
(Douglas Drill)
Student Union: 2AM in the coed dorm. (Bob Dvorak)
Banquet: When it rained on Washington Mutual
(Rosalie Moscovitch)
Bra: A lift without a letdown (Hal Stebbins)
Thunderhead: A toilet with noisy plumbing
(Douglas Drill)
Slide Rules: Playground instructions (Stan Kegel)
Texts: The people you call for help when your
computer crashes (Cynthia MacGregor)
Aperitifs: Two holdup men (Rosalie Moscovitch)
X-ray: A source of inside information
(Hal Stebbins)
-<>-
_
{_}
/*\
/_*_\
{('o')}
C{{([^*^])}}D
[ * ]
/ Y \
_\__|__/_
jgs (___/ \___)
>POETRY
The gnu's a bit shaggy, it's true,
But well known and quite popular, too.
In France he's adored,
But Italians are bored,
And frequently ask, "What's a gnu?"
(Jim Ertner)
Using Holy books
To call for Holy war is
Badly myth-informed.
(Ken Pinkham)
When he married, he knew he'd found bliss,
And the guideline he used was just this:
If a widow you choose,
There is no way to lose.
It's for sure that you won't wed a-miss.
(Kirk Miller)
Of the pride he'd taken command --
The widowered lion most grand.
He summoned an artist
To provide him, a goddess.
The guy drew a lion in the sand.
(Bob Dvorak)
-<>-
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>OTHER SPECIALTY PUNS
Incubate: The octopus thinks it's funny to take
the sheep fishing and INCUBATE. (Rose Katz)
Emergency: Stop hiding in your cave. Why don't
you EMERGENCY the daylight? (Cynthia MacGregor)
History: In spite of the videotapes, he won’t
change HISTORY that he is being framed.
(Stan Kegel)
Gregorian: The director couldn't decide whether
to cast Kinnear or McKellan. He just had to pick
GREGORIAN! (Benjamin Ziek)
Yale: Southern contraction, as in, "YALE come
back now, ya heah?" (Bob Dvorak)
Semester: When a female makes a shambles of
things, as in, "SEMESTER whole schedule up by
signing up for that course." (Cynthia MacGregor)
Himalayan: My husband is very lazy. That’s
HIMALAYAN on the couch over there. (Stan Kegel)
Hatchet: When I presented my fedora to the check
girl, she gave me my HATCHET. (Benjamin Ziek)
Mascot: physics term, as in, "MASCOT critical"
(Bob Dvorak)
Lecture: To allow something pertaining to you, as
in "LECTURE self sleep during the professor's
talk. I'll loan you my notes later."
(Cynthia MacGregor)
Hatchet: Our science project is to incubate a
duck egg and HATCHET. (Stan Kegel)
Elixir: "Jack is quite a lady's man, does he have
a secret love potion?"
"No, ELIXIR." (Ken Pinkham)
Element: Ella talks in circles, I never know what
ELEMENT. (Rose Katz)
Improve: She made IMPROVE he was telling the
truth before she would forgive him. (Stan Kegel)
Fallacy: The flasher thru open his raincoat and
said, "This is my FALLACY.!" (Ken Pinkham)
Pizza: What Peter is, as in "PIZZA great football
player." (Cynthia MacGregor)
Effigy: Some of the keys on my typewriter stick,
especially the EFFIGY. (Gary Hallock)
Illiterate: Don't let your child take candy bars
into the forest or ILLITERATE with the wrappers.
(Cynthia MacGregor)
Omar Khayyam: Mark Anthony: “Cleo, are you
faithful.“ Cleopatra:
“OMAR KHAYYAM” (Stan Kegel)
Jargon: Mom left a full cookie jar and came home
an hour later to finD the whole JARGON.
(Ken Pinkham)
"I feel like such a heel," said Achilles to his
mom, as they stood on the shore of the
archepelego, pondering yet another dip.
(Rose Katz)
"Try oomph!" said Tom, archly. (Bob Dvorak)
"My feet hurt," Tom said archly. (Cynthia
MacGregor)
"That was an arrow escape," Tom quivered, archly.
(James Ertner)
"Forget the burger, I'm off to meet the girls,"
said Jughead Archiely. (Gunjan Saraf)
"You never be seein' one of dem butterflies here
in Jamaica," said the mon archily. (Gary Hallock)
The next lodge with any vacancies is over 50
miles away,” Tom said as a last resort.
(Stan Kegel)
“Are you the doctor,” Tom asked patiently.
(Richard Lederer)
“I wish I were taller,” Tom whispered longingly.
(Paul Dickson)
She was only a waitress's daughter, but she sure
could dish it out. (Paul Dickson)
She was only a conductor's daughter, but she told
you where to get off. (Paul Dickson)
She was only a quarryman's daughter, but she took
everything for granite. (Paul Dickson)
She was only a poet's daughter, but I've seen
verse. (Paul Dickson)
She was only a window dresser's daughter, but she
was no dummy.. (Paul Dickson)
Gene Wilder: A devise to cause rapid mutations.
(Stan Kegel)
Brittany Spears: Weapons used in first English
invasion of northern France. (Stan Kegel)
Willy Brandt: Tattooing the members of
exhibitionists for easier identification
(Stan Kegel)
Tuesday Welds: The frames of cars made on the
second workday of the week. (Stan Kegel)
Art Carney: The injury due to constant kneeling
while custom painting automobiles. (Stan Kegel)
Old crapshooters never die, they just fade away.
(Paul Dickson)
Old gardeners never die, they just spade away.
(Paul Dickson)
Old placekickers never die, they just go on
missing the point. (Lou Gr za)
Old poker players never die, they are just
discarded. (Paul Dickson)
Old accountants never die, they're just
disfigured. (Paul Dickson)
Old auctioneers never die, they just look
forbidding. (Paul Dickson)
Sign in a public men's lavatory: "We aim to
please. Won't you aim too, please?"
(Richard Lederer)
Confucius says, "he who eat crackers in bed, have
crummy sleep." (Curly David)
Confucius says, "No man is island, but some women
are whales." (Curly David)
Confucius says, "Man who fall in vat of molten
glass, make spectacle of self." (Curly David)
I'm not saying she's easy, but she's been laid on
more kitchen floors than linoleum. (Archives)
I'm not saying she's easy, but she's responsible
for more merry men than Robin Hood. (Archives)
I'm not saying she's easy, but she's turned more
tricks than David Copperfield. (Archives)
I'm not saying she's easy, but she's been boarded
more times than Amtrak. (Archives)
I'm not saying she's easy, but she's done more
screwing than Black and Decker. (Archives)
Waiter, there’s a hair in my dinner.”
“Yes, sir, that’s because its rabbit stew.”
(Archives)
-<>-
___
__|___|__
('o_o')
_\~-~/_ ______.
//\__/\ \ ~(_]---'
/ )O O( .\/_)
\ \ / \_/
)/_| |_\
// /(\/)\ \
/_/ \_\
(_|| ||_)
\| |__| |/
| | | |
| | | |
|_| |_|
JRO /_\ /_\
>Redneck quickies 24
** You might be a redneck if...
You've ever hitchhiked naked,
You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a
deer.
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new
rifle.
Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a
combine."
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare
foot.
The highlight of your parties is when you flip
out your false teeth.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her
purse.
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
There are more than ten lawsuits currently
pending against your dog.
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from
the rest of your car.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf
course.
You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking
space.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his
lap.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic
sport.
The receptionist checks the rat traps at your
place of business.
You list your parole officer as a reference.
There are more fish on your wall than pictures.
Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you
coming.
-<>-
(:.
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| \`..-'_.-' _,=._,_/
| \_\`'._,-','_,'`._________
| _,-'___\,'___'_,'____`._______
| [______________________________
| | | | |
| | | | |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~ool
( ( o_ ) ) ( ( ) ) | | `--'
compliment | `-._____,-' `--' compliment
| compliment
| compliment
compliment J compliment
compliment
compliment compliment
compliment
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck
after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's
place. When they got to the door, Joe went
straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her
how beautiful she was and how much he had missed
her at work. When it was time for supper, he
complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her
and told her how much he loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe
that he was surprised that he fussed so much over
his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about
6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and
things couldn't be better.
Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home,
he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and
told her that he loved her. His wife burst into
tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying.
She said, "This is the worst day of my life.
First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted
his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and
flooded the basement. And now, you come home
drunk!"
-<>-
A
_,-' `-._
_-'_________`-_
``---\_ _/---``
(_ - _)
\_._/ 8
__H__ 8
\ | / 8
|\ | /| 8
_|_|||_|_8
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| |
|-,-|
gnv'-'-'
A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li
got married and went to live with her husband and
mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found
that she couldn't get along with her
mother-in-law at all.
Their personalities were very different, and
Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's
habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li
constantly.
Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks.
Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing
and fighting. But what made the situation
even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese
tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law
and obey her every wish. All the anger and
unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor
husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her
mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any
longer, and she decided to do something about it.
She went to see her father's good friend, Mr.
Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation
and asked if he would give her some poison so
that she could solve the problem once and for
all.
Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally
said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem,
but you must listen to me and obey what I tell
you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do
whatever you tell me to do."
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and
returned in a few minutes with a package of
herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a
quick-acting poison to get rid of your
mother-in-law, because that would cause people to
become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a
number of herbs that will slowly build up poison
in her body. Every other day prepare some
delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in
her serving. Now, in order to make sure that
nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be
very careful to act very friendly towards her.
Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and
treat her like a queen."
___|___
__|__
.---.
|___|
__\_/__
__X__
| |
|_____|
Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and
hurried home to start her plot of murdering her
mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months
went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the
specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She
remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding
suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed
her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own
mother. After six months had passed, the whole
household had changed. Li-Li had practiced
controlling her temper so much that she found
that she almost never got mad or upset.
She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law
in six months because she now seemed much kinder
and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li
changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own
daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives
that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could
ever find.
Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating
each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was
happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked
for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang,
please help me to keep the poison from killing my
mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice
woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do
not want her to die because of the poison I gave
her."
Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li,
there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you
any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins
to improve her health. The real poison was in
your mind and your attitude toward her, but that
has been all washed away by the love which you
gave to her."
MORAL: have you ever realised that how you
treat others is exactly how they will treat you?
There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who
loves others will also be loved in return.' God
might be trying to work in another person's life
through you.
Also see Galatians 6:7. Everyone reaps what
they sow.
With thanks to Odete Ferreira
-<>-
>V.P.
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice
President of the company he worked for and kept
bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told
him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a
vice president of peas at the grocery store!".
"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or
not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answered and Tom asked "Can I please talk
to the Vice President of peas?"
The clerk replied, "Canned or frozen?"
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Wild Bear Release!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrelease.html
Best Bed Positions!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bed.html
Tour Inside Of Google
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html
Chinese Wal-Mart!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html
We've All Been There!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html
Cat In a Box!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html
Just Thinking!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html
Ford's First RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html
Houses For Hermits!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/house.html
You Are The Only You God Has
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
Self Talk
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/selftalk.html
Trash Shadow Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley :)
Count It Off
http://tinyurl.com/da3vcl
Cloud Computing in Plain English
http://tinyurl.com/d5je9u
hotmail - blank inboxes
http://tinyurl.com/33u2rex
Steve Harvey Introduces Jesus
http://tinyurl.com/6kd79f
---
...Sweet! Thanks Wesley!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Swallowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm
Swimming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gerg.htm
szambr
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hyth.htm
Telissa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfgytik.htm
Texan Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kijld.htm
High Energy Level
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjkjkjklkjl.htm
His Mother-In-Law
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdssfdfsdsd.htm
Horse Wisdom
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklaskjds.htm
HMO Doctor
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsuyue7.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Is this a bad idea? The folks at Sprint announced it is
developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on
your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine
Dead in Interstate Pileup.'" --Jay Leno
"Do you know what you call people in Hollywood who've been
married for 3 years? Divorced." --David Letterman
"A new study found that sleep is essential to creativity.
I'd just like to say that we have the most creative audience
in all of television!" --Craig Kilborn
"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love
our enemies; probably because the are generally the same
people." --Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"With high-definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider.
Kind of like going to your twenty-fifth high school reunion."
--Jay Leno
"Recently, while I was on a shopping trip in a department
store, I heard a little five-year-old talking to his mother
on the down escalator. He said, 'Mommy, what do they do when
the basement gets full of steps?'" --Hal Linden
"We should not tell our kids they can be whatever they want
to be. We should ask them, 'What will you settle for?' You
want to be a fireman? How about working as a short order
cook at Sizzler? There are flames involved." --Robert G. Lee
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have
erased this line."
- Oscar Levant
"Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37
inches per sec."
- J. Hart
"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were
just napping."
- Rita Rudner
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chhristian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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