Festival Of Sleep Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hottie comes from our friends Jo Ann And Sandi! Such an adorable one, I just had to share it with all of you! Check it out here... /\____/\ __ .' """" `,-' `--.__ __,- : - - ; " :: `-. -.__ ,-sssss `._ `' _,'" ,'~~~::`.sssss-. |ssssss ,' ,_`--'_ __,' :: ` `.ssssss| |sssssss `-._____~ `,,'_______,---_;; ssssss| |ssssssssss `--'~{__ ____ ,'ssssss| `-ssssssssssssssssss ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssss.-' `---.sssssssssssssssssssss.---' Susie Oviatt Cat Spot Tips! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catspots.html --- ...So Cute! Thank You Ladies!! -<>- >-->Reader Comments - From Our Friend Andy :) | \ \ | |/ / | |\ `' ' / | ;'aorta \ / , pulmonary | ; _, | / / , arteries superior | | ( `-.;_,-' '-' , vena cava | `, `-._ _,-'_ |,-`. `.) ,<_,-'_, pulmonary ,' `. / ,' `;-' _, veins ; `./ /`, \-' | right / | ;\ |\ | atrium ;_,._|_, `, ' \ | \ \ ` `, ` __ ` \ left ;, \ ,' ` \, ventricle \_( ;, ;; | \ `;, ;; inferior | |`. `;;, ;' vena cava | | `-. ;;;;,;' FL | | |`-.._ ,;;;;;' | | | | ``';;;' aorta Re - Aspirin and heart attacks. I just checked in Snopes and this new crystal aspirin is NOT recommended as it contains 850 milligrams of aspirin, 10 times higher than the dose recommended by the FDA for use in conjunction with a heart attack. It also has 65MG of caffeine, which will INCREASE the heart rate. Having read that I feel the crystal Aspirin would lead to a stronger heart attack. Andy. --- ...Ouch! Yes, Andy, I do believe you are right! Snopes link: http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/aspirin.asp Thank You for this info! I normally check with snopes, but with this tip, I didn't think some one would lie about it. I guess the devil is always in the details so to speak. Always have to be vigilant like the bible tells us to. =============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Crayon Mystery /^\ The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring /___\ books. [_____] |_____| Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss |=====| Francis, I ain't got no crayons." | _ | | / \ | "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have || || any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have || || any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see || || what I'm getting at?" | \_/ | jgs |_____| "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them |=====| crayons?" '-----' =================================================================== +-------------- Bizarre January Holidays ---------------+ January 1 is First Foot Day and Z Day January 2 is Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day January 3 is Festival of Sleep Day "", &&& |\ | / && = > _ \ / | \ | / && _C Y /-\ \/\/ | \| \ )( \ \ ,"" ) ( \/ ( \ ) \ / \ /~~~~~~~\ ejm98 ) ) [no wonder I was so tired today!) January 4 is Trivia Day and Humiliation Day January 5 is Bird Day January 6 is Bean Day January 7 is Old Rock Day January 8 is National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day January 9 is Play God Day January 10 is Peculiar People Day ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Becky :) .--._..--. ___ ( _'-_ -_.' _.-' `-._| - :- | _.-' `--...__| .-' '--..___ / `._ \ `. `._ | `. `._ / '. `._ :__________....-----' `..`---' |-_ _- |___...----..._ |_....--' `.`. _...--' `.`. _..-' _.'.' .-' _.'.' | _.'.' | __....------'-' | __...------''' _| '--''' |- - _ | _.-''''''''''''''''''-._ _.' |\ .' _.' | `._ |:.' `._ _.' | `..__ | | `---.._.--. _| | | _ - | `-.._|_.' .--...__ | - _| .'_ `--.....__ | .'_ `--..__ .'_ `. .'_ `-. `--..____ _`. ```--...____ _..--' ;;;:::. (\| - _ ```---.._.' .. ;::| - _ |/) ;;;:::. (o) ;;::., |_ - - |;;;: (\'/) ::;; (o) | -_ -_L ``::;;;. .;;' (\ '/) | -_ _ G (o) ..;; ''' ;:;;.,|(o) _-B(\'/) ;;;;::: ;::(\'/);;:|;:; ;' >Thank you! I want to thank all of you for Your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel. I no longer ask the waitress to put lemon slices in my ice water for fear of the bacteria and pesticides on the lemon peel. I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed 6 months ago. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose. Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years. I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish. I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone. I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers. I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up. I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans. I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer. THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt. AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a Penny dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over. I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Quaida, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators. I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off. Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late. If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother- in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician... PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water sprays more than 6 ft. out of the toilet. --- ...HaHa! Thanks Becky! These were the ones I was used to having to check - not a simple one about aspirin! Geesh! Makes ya wonder about people huh? ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _________________ / _ /| / / / ####### // / /_/ ####### // KDDR / ______________ // ===============' >Ode To January 'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.' As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt - I said to myself, as I only can 'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!' So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie - not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore. But isn't that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! *~*EAT FRUIT AND EXERCISE*~* __. /-7 k .-' o.-'/ / .; \ ( [ ) \ [.---. ;/ \ ) \ (/ ) | AsH / \ ( [_' \_~ --- ...HaHa Love It! Thanks Jo Ann! =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Del :) [POLITICS] >Congressional reform Act of 2011 This has been kicked around for a while but it still has merit. The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc. Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure. I'm asking you to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on your address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise. In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around. Congressional Reform Act of 2011 1. Term Limits. 12 years only, one of the possible options below. A. Two Six-year Senate terms B. Six Two-year House terms C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms 2. No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office. 3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. 4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do. 5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%. 6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people. 7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people. 8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/11. The American people did not make the current contract with members of Congress. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work. If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. MUCH OF WHAT WE FACE IN TERMS OF PRIVILEGE AND SELFISHNESS IN THIS COUNTRY MIGHT BEST BE CHANGED STARTING FROM THE TOP DOWN. If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete You are one of my 20. I INVITE YOU TO KEEP IT GOING. WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE -- THANKS! --- ...Ditto Del! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Freedon Works: 2010 Year In Review http://action.freedomworks.org/email/view/936/ -<>- >From Grassfire: I don't know about you, but I am eager to face the challenges of the New Year and the opportunity to work together with you to restore and rebuild our nation back to greatness! An integral part of our action plan for 2011 includes our brand new Patriot Action Network -- the largest and fastest growing conservative social action network in the nation! Click here to visit: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=36114&RID=10702139 The Patriot Action Network was uniquely designed around the needs of conservative citizens just like you. -<>- >From Conservative Outpost: Fellow Conservative, Do you already consider yourself a part of the Tea Party movement? Have you joined with other activists to organize both locally and online? We’ve been working on a new project to better enable Tea Party conservatives to organize online and find fellow likeminded activists, or even to be found by others. We call it the Tea Party Outpost. It begins with a simple proposition. A Tea Party Pledge, signed by everyone who joins, committing themselves publicly to comprehensive conservative principles and limited constitutional government. Click and take the Tea Party Pledge http://www.teapartyoutpost.org/ -<>- >From: Michele Bachmann Dear Fellow Conservative, As the new Congress convenes this week, our first priority must be to get our nation's debt under control. However, many of my colleagues in the House are afraid to stand up and speak out against raising the debt ceiling. Last month, you received this email with a call to action to sign our petition against raising the debt ceiling. The response has been so overwhelming that I've decided to extend our 72-hour deadline to this Friday. We have collected over 50,000 signatures so far, but I know we can collect more. If you have not yet added your name to the petition, please take a minute to follow this link to do so. We must show Democrats and Republicans in Congress that the conservative grassroots activists around the country oppose raising the debt ceiling that will further burden our children and grandchildren with massive debt. MICHELE-PAC is dedicated to supporting elected officials who share our constitutional conservative values. With votes like this one looming in the next Congress, we need to know you stand with us. Please sign the petition right away! Thank you. http://tinyurl.com/35r2kxm Michele -<>- >From BizarreNews: Who ever said today's youth is stupider than they ever were? Because they might have been talking about the kids in Apollo Beach, Florida. Two Apollo Beach brothers were arrested after the son of a theft victim saw Internet photos of them wearing what appeared to be his mother's gold chains. The two boys, ages 14 and 16, were charged with third-degree grand theft. Oh, wait, it gets better. Police also arrested several other suspects. One, who was wearing an electronic ankle monitor, denied being involved in burglaries but was charged after the monitor allegedly placed him at the crime scene. Investigators arrested some of the suspects by posing as buyers of stolen items. Thousands of dollars worth of laptop computers, jewelry and other items were seized. A spokeswoman for the Sheriff's Department, said surfing the Web is becoming a common law enforcement tool. Especially with idiots like these guys logging on every day to advertise their crimes! _ (_) |______________________________________ |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& .\^/. &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& . |&&&| . &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& |\|&&&|/| &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& .--'&&&&&&&'--. &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& \&&&&&&&&&&&/ &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& >&&&&&&&&&< &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& '~|/~~|~~\|~' &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& | &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&& &&&&&&&| |&&&&&&&________________________&&JGS&&| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | -- Leafs spectator arrested after waffle toss ------- TORONTO - A Toronto Maple Leafs fan was ejected from a game, and then arrested, after becoming the latest to throw waffles onto the ice to protest the team's poor play. Toronto police charged Joseph Robb, 31, of Oakville with mischief after he allegedly threw several waffles and an Eggo box onto the ice during the third period of Monday night's loss to the Atlanta Thrashers, the Toronto Star reported. Robb was banned from all three Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment arenas, officials said. A man first threw a handful of waffles onto the ice after the team's Dec. 9 loss against the Philadelphia Flyers and a Twitter user who identified himself as Jack M. took responsibility and threatened to strike again. Using the handle "EGGO_ BOMBER," he tweeted the Leafs "need to wake up and eat some breakfast." The Leafs (12-17-4) have lost three straight games and five of their last seven, and are in last place in the Northeast Division, 12 points behind first-place Montreal. ^^ .-=-=-=-. ^^ ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^ ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^ ( `-=-=-=-(@)-=-=-` ) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ (`-=-=-=-=-=-=-`) ^^ ^^ jgs (`-=-=-=-=-`) `-=-=-=-=-` -- Man burns house trying to smoke out bees ------- LAKE WORTH, Fla. - Florida firefighters said a man caused heavy damage to his home when he tried and failed to smoke a bee colony out of his house. Capt. Don DeLucia, spokes- man for Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue, said Mario Go of Lake Worth was trying to smoke the bees out of a column supporting a second-story balcony Tuesday and accidentally set the house on fire, The Palm Beach Post reported. DeLucia said the fire caused about $50,000 worth of damage but no one was injured. He said the fire failed to drive away the bees. -- Police follow debris to stolen ATM --------- JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Police in Florida said they followed a trail of debris from a credit union to a suspect in a front-end loader carrying an ATM ripped from the building. Jacksonville police said they responded to a burglar alarm about 3:50 a.m. Monday and discovered the Vystar Credit Union structure had been demolished and an ATM was missing, The (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union reported Wednesday. Investigators followed a trail of debris to a Caterpillar front-end loader attempting to turn from a highway onto a bike trail. They said the driver of the loader kept going despite police turning on their lights then put the heavy machine into reverse and headed straight for a patrol car. The police car evaded the machine and it again fled away, but stopped after about 500 feet and police arrested Robert Anderson, 31. Police said the ATM was severely damaged but its cash cartridge remained intact. Anderson was jailed on charges of burglary in excess of $1,000 and aggravated assault. =========================================================== >-->From The MouthPiece: Caricature Zone Play funny free games with celebrity caricatures. Six hundred caricatures of international stars and easy-to-use method of sketching faces with a few clicks. Visit: http://www.magixl.com/ -<>- . . :"-. .-"; |:`.`.__..__.'.';| || :-" "-; || :; :; / .==. .==. \ : _.--._ ; ; .--.' `--' `.--. : : __;` ':__ ; ; ' '-._:;_.-' ' : '. `--' .' ."-._ _.-". .' ""------"" `. /`- -'\ /`- -'\ :`- .' `. -'; ; / \ : : : ; ; ; ; : : ':_:.' '.;_;' :_ _; ; "-._ -" :`-. _.._ :_ () _; "--::__. `. \"- -"/`._ : .-"-. -"-. ""--..____.' / .__ __. \ : / , / "" \ . \ ; bug "-:___..--" "--..___;-" >Ten Things A Cat Thinks About 1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener. 2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths? 3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs? 4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives? 5. Hmmm... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us? 6. This looks like a good spot for a nap. 7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener. 8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place? 9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering? 10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let THEM know who's boss! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) heard this one? don't know if true i Track it! I_-_ ' I(")_____. <\. ,----~ :/_( ( ,) uU `-.---U`= lL (~~/> - a:f - >The World's Largest Army. America's Hunters? The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over 600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay. But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower. Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security! Now you know why the liberal anti-gun group wants to take the guns away. --- ...Interesting! Thanks Wesley I don't know if it is real either but this fact checker place seems to think if it is right on, then it is close. http://tinyurl.com/2wr779r =============================================================== >-->From Laugh&Lift: >>>>>\|/<<<<< >>>\\\\\v/////<<< >>>\\\\\vvv/////<<< >>>(vvvvvvvvv)<<< >>>>) (.)_(.) (<<<< >>>/ (_) \<<< >( (._ _.) )< \ `---' / "'--._.--'" .--.____| u |____.--. /___| |__\___/__| |___\ |___|_|_________|_|___| |___[_]_________[_]___| |___| |_________| |___| |___| ========= |___| |___| |-------| |___| |___| | | |___| |___| \_____/ |___| .-|.__/ \__.|-. \ [ctr] / ) ____/ \____ ( \ / \ \ \ v / / / \ ' | ' / \ | / ) | ( | | |"""| | | | |:::| | | | |:::| | | | '"""' | |---. | | |,,,| | | |___| | | | | | |_______|_______| .---._ |==| |==| _.---. ( '----\\__|==|_ _|==|__//----' ) \ '==' ) ( '==' / '-._ _ | | _ _.-' '"""""""' '""""' '""""' '"""""""' >Quick Jokes While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign ..... Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust. -------------- A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?" The first guy replies, "I'm going to go back and get her." -------------- This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995 Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations ***** Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course Canadians: No I say again, you divert YOUR course Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call. -<>- * / \ / * \ @@@@@@@ ( @ @ ) \ l / \ 0 / __@@@@@__ / * \ / /| * |\ \ / / | * | \ \ ( ( | * | ) ) \ \ | * | / / \ \|#####|/ / &&|#####|&& %|##|##|% |##|##| (##|##) |##|##| |##|##| _|##|##|_ (^^^^|^^^^) """"""""""" >Live Long and Prosper While none of us knows what will happen in this new year, here's some rules that if you follow, you'll help ensure you'll make it through in one piece: - Don't throw a brick straight up. - Walk around toxic waste dumps, not throuugh them. - Your body has the correct number of holees in it. Don't make any more. - Don't microwave yourself too often. - Don't stick body parts into electrical ooutlets. - If you're on a ball field and someone shhouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck. - No matter how tempting it is to be one wwith nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo. - When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end. - Don't take long naps while driving. -<>- (") /"\ / \ _/ \_ {__)_____(__} .'``\ IjD ." + + ", /''`. \ `\ l ( ) l /' / \ `\ `\ \___/ /' /' / \ `\CC`.......'CC/' / \ (CCCCCCCCCCC) / \ ((CCCCCCCC) / \ ```'''' / \ (@) / l i l / (@) \ / i \ / (@) \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ '-'''-,,/ \,,-```-' / / \ \ `..... ' ` ...,' >More Words That Should Exist (By Rich Hall and anonymous contributers) Arachnidiot - Description of a person who wanders into an "invisible" spider web and flails around, gyrating wildly, trying to rub it off. Cheedle - The residue left on your fingers after eating Cheetos (Registered TM). Choconiverous - Used to describe a person who bites the head off a chocolate Easter bunny first. Deodorend - The last 1/2 inch of a stick deodorant that won't push up, making the tube good only for underarm lacerations. Jiffylust - The passionate desire to be the first person to dip into a brand new jar of peanut butter. Kawashocky - Pulling into what you thought was an empty parking space, only to discover a motorcycle is parked there. Mowmuffins - The accumulated clumps of dried grass on the underside of the lawn mower. Nocturnuggets - The deposits you have to rub out of your eyes every morning after a good night's sleep. Pajangle - Waking up to find your pajamas have turned 180 degrees around while you were sleeping. Prestofrigeration - When searching for a snack, this is the act of returning to the refrigerator time and again in hopes something new will have materialized. Scribbobics - Warm up exercises to get the ink in a pen flowing. Slackjam - The act of being stuck in your trousers while trying to remove them without taking off your shoes. Snackmosphere - The empty yet explosive layer of air at the top of a bag of potato chips or other snackage. Spudrubble - The unclaimed fries that have fallen to the bottom of the fast food sack. -<>- ,v. _____>o< / |_ (_________) ///,-.-.\\\ _||__|__||_ (_\|_O|_O|/_) )(#__)( ((`---')) _,. \\-.-// ////) \`-'/ (`'//// __/\`-'/\__ _ ) / ,-'|( )o( )|`-. /o`. ,' ,' ||\/>-<\/|| /`-/`. `. ,'`- || /)O_\ || '` `./ /` !||/o.(_)\||!, -..' / .'!|/o_O o(_\|!`-.__.' / .' !|\(_)o Oo/|! /`._.' !||\O.o_o/||! \o | .=!|| `.(.' ||!=. /`-'\ (( \|| o ||/ )) _\ |) )`-||___o___||-'( / `--'\ |//|| | : ||\\| /.--==--.\ |/(X) | : (X)\| o/ ______ \o| |_: | _ [\' `/]| __ ,,,,,| (/ |\`--==--'/||,,,,, | |///| | _ | )/)/`.(' |||oOo| | |///| | (/ | `(_) \) |||OoO| | ''''' | \ `PAINT'/ |''''' _| | _,`-=..=-' | |_| ,'\ | (_/ /( | | \,' | \_) `-.___.-^-.___.-' ,---. |=| |=| ,---. ( # \,,,,&/`-'| |`-'\&,,,,/ # ) \ ) ( / `========'`==' `=='`========' hjw >How To Unsubscribe (Author Unknown) Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like you had been through a serious war when it was finally completed. I know I have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more realistic directions such as these: To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft- O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA. Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimetre torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber. The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to use. Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern most section of the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" position. The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is off, flip the toggle switch labelled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to 47 before logging on to the system. Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously. Press enter. You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning. Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please follow the above directions closely. SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ==================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ _( )_ (_ O _) (_) ,-. _ _________/_ _________/_ \( )_ \ / / \ / / (_ O _) )=====@=( )=====@=( (_) ____/_________\____ ____/_________\____ | /^\ /^\ | | /~\ /~\ | _| \0/_\0/ |_ _| \a/_\a/ |_ (_ _ (_) _ _) (_ _'(_) _ _) \( \___/ )/ \( \___/ )/ \\\___/// \\ ,-. // ,-._\\___//_,-. __ \\___// __ |* *`-._,-' * | |* *--._,--'* | | * * (_)* * *| | * * (_)* * *| |* _,-' `-.* | |* ,-' `-.* | `-' `-' Stef00 `./ \,' Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why didn't you wait till your husband got home?" someone asked. "I could have," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move if he's not on it." -<>- The bride-to-be was advised by the marriage counselor to never completely disrobe in front of her husband when retiring for decorum's sake. One night, six weeks after the wedding, the husband said to his bride, "Is there any insanity in your family?" "Why, no," she said. "Why do you ask?" "I was merely wondering," said he, "why you haven't taken your hat off since we've been married?" -<>- Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the Washington Garden Club and kept referring to 'good manure' that must be used on flowers. Some society ladies complained (later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman, "Bess, can't you get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?" The First Lady replied, "Heavens, it took me 25 years to get him to say 'manure'." -<>- ,---. ,'_ _`. {{ |o| |o| }} {{{ '-'O'-' }}} {{( (`-.-') )}} {{{.`---',}}} `---' SSt A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. "Can you read this?" the optician asks. "Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "Heck, I know the guy." -<>- My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!" "Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l." -<>- While listening to an oldies radio station, my six-year-old evidently got the 60's mixed up with the 21st century. Instead of singing along, "Goin' to the chapel/ And we're gonna get married," I heard him sing, "Goin' to the chat room/ And we're gonna get married." -<>- My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!" She shot back defiantly, "20/20!" -<>- .d88b. 888888 '988P' /""\ .;.__.;. ( """" ). }{{'------'}{} {(s _. ._ s)} }'); ' ' ;('}, {;{{. ( .{}}; '{{'.(\ /).'{}' \'-'/ PjP '-' A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them about a conversation she overheard. One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas Mass." "Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have a Hanukkah celebration. Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and we're going to have a barbecue." -<>- I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year at the holidays. I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious). Her and her family at the time were vegetarians, but I said I was going to open a restaurant that specialized in venison dishes. I was going to call it, "The Buck Stops Here," and my slogan was going to be, "Bambi: You've seen the movie. Now, eat the star!" ============================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: The Puns... ) ( / \ .-"""""-. / \ ( \/ __ __ \/ ) ) ; / _\ /_ \ ; ( ( | / \ / \ | ) \ (, \0/_\0/ ,) / \_| / \ |_/ | (_\___/_) | .\ \ -.- / /. { \ `===' / } { `.___.' } jgs { } `"="="="="="` >DEFINITIONS: Beriberi: A double funeral (Rosalie Moscovitch) Lemonade: Government program to repair defective automobiles. (Judy K.) Tutor: Tuba player in the marching band (Stan Kegel) Texts: The people you call for help when your computer crashes (Cynthia MacGregor) Thesis: Abbreviation for “The Sister.” (Douglas D. Drill) Anthropology: Monkey business (Hal Stebbins) Buckshot: Another dollar wasted (Rosalie Moscovitch) Freshman: Guy on a date with a sorority girl (Stan Kegel) Administration: Happens to a woman once a month (Cynthia MacGregor) Balsam: Cry a little (Rosalie Moscovitch) Theater: A place where ham is served at exorbitant prices. (Hal Stebbins) Term Paper: Sheets passed out on first day of class defining words unique to this course (Stan Kegel) Administration: Happens to a woman once a month (Cynthia MacGregor) Umbrella: A devise to keep your powder dry. (Hal Stebbins) Ransack: Participate in a picnic sack race. (Douglas Drill) Student Union: 2AM in the coed dorm. (Bob Dvorak) Banquet: When it rained on Washington Mutual (Rosalie Moscovitch) Bra: A lift without a letdown (Hal Stebbins) Thunderhead: A toilet with noisy plumbing (Douglas Drill) Slide Rules: Playground instructions (Stan Kegel) Texts: The people you call for help when your computer crashes (Cynthia MacGregor) Aperitifs: Two holdup men (Rosalie Moscovitch) X-ray: A source of inside information (Hal Stebbins) -<>- _ {_} /*\ /_*_\ {('o')} C{{([^*^])}}D [ * ] / Y \ _\__|__/_ jgs (___/ \___) >POETRY The gnu's a bit shaggy, it's true, But well known and quite popular, too. In France he's adored, But Italians are bored, And frequently ask, "What's a gnu?" (Jim Ertner) Using Holy books To call for Holy war is Badly myth-informed. (Ken Pinkham) When he married, he knew he'd found bliss, And the guideline he used was just this: If a widow you choose, There is no way to lose. It's for sure that you won't wed a-miss. (Kirk Miller) Of the pride he'd taken command -- The widowered lion most grand. He summoned an artist To provide him, a goddess. The guy drew a lion in the sand. (Bob Dvorak) -<>- o o o * A o o, {) , ~% zzzz %~ %%%%%% % %%% %% %% \ %% ~|\ |~ - ejm97 ( * ) - >OTHER SPECIALTY PUNS Incubate: The octopus thinks it's funny to take the sheep fishing and INCUBATE. (Rose Katz) Emergency: Stop hiding in your cave. Why don't you EMERGENCY the daylight? (Cynthia MacGregor) History: In spite of the videotapes, he won’t change HISTORY that he is being framed. (Stan Kegel) Gregorian: The director couldn't decide whether to cast Kinnear or McKellan. He just had to pick GREGORIAN! (Benjamin Ziek) Yale: Southern contraction, as in, "YALE come back now, ya heah?" (Bob Dvorak) Semester: When a female makes a shambles of things, as in, "SEMESTER whole schedule up by signing up for that course." (Cynthia MacGregor) Himalayan: My husband is very lazy. That’s HIMALAYAN on the couch over there. (Stan Kegel) Hatchet: When I presented my fedora to the check girl, she gave me my HATCHET. (Benjamin Ziek) Mascot: physics term, as in, "MASCOT critical" (Bob Dvorak) Lecture: To allow something pertaining to you, as in "LECTURE self sleep during the professor's talk. I'll loan you my notes later." (Cynthia MacGregor) Hatchet: Our science project is to incubate a duck egg and HATCHET. (Stan Kegel) Elixir: "Jack is quite a lady's man, does he have a secret love potion?" "No, ELIXIR." (Ken Pinkham) Element: Ella talks in circles, I never know what ELEMENT. (Rose Katz) Improve: She made IMPROVE he was telling the truth before she would forgive him. (Stan Kegel) Fallacy: The flasher thru open his raincoat and said, "This is my FALLACY.!" (Ken Pinkham) Pizza: What Peter is, as in "PIZZA great football player." (Cynthia MacGregor) Effigy: Some of the keys on my typewriter stick, especially the EFFIGY. (Gary Hallock) Illiterate: Don't let your child take candy bars into the forest or ILLITERATE with the wrappers. (Cynthia MacGregor) Omar Khayyam: Mark Anthony: “Cleo, are you faithful.“ Cleopatra: “OMAR KHAYYAM” (Stan Kegel) Jargon: Mom left a full cookie jar and came home an hour later to finD the whole JARGON. (Ken Pinkham) "I feel like such a heel," said Achilles to his mom, as they stood on the shore of the archepelego, pondering yet another dip. (Rose Katz) "Try oomph!" said Tom, archly. (Bob Dvorak) "My feet hurt," Tom said archly. (Cynthia MacGregor) "That was an arrow escape," Tom quivered, archly. (James Ertner) "Forget the burger, I'm off to meet the girls," said Jughead Archiely. (Gunjan Saraf) "You never be seein' one of dem butterflies here in Jamaica," said the mon archily. (Gary Hallock) The next lodge with any vacancies is over 50 miles away,” Tom said as a last resort. (Stan Kegel) “Are you the doctor,” Tom asked patiently. (Richard Lederer) “I wish I were taller,” Tom whispered longingly. (Paul Dickson) She was only a waitress's daughter, but she sure could dish it out. (Paul Dickson) She was only a conductor's daughter, but she told you where to get off. (Paul Dickson) She was only a quarryman's daughter, but she took everything for granite. (Paul Dickson) She was only a poet's daughter, but I've seen verse. (Paul Dickson) She was only a window dresser's daughter, but she was no dummy.. (Paul Dickson) Gene Wilder: A devise to cause rapid mutations. (Stan Kegel) Brittany Spears: Weapons used in first English invasion of northern France. (Stan Kegel) Willy Brandt: Tattooing the members of exhibitionists for easier identification (Stan Kegel) Tuesday Welds: The frames of cars made on the second workday of the week. (Stan Kegel) Art Carney: The injury due to constant kneeling while custom painting automobiles. (Stan Kegel) Old crapshooters never die, they just fade away. (Paul Dickson) Old gardeners never die, they just spade away. (Paul Dickson) Old placekickers never die, they just go on missing the point. (Lou Gr za) Old poker players never die, they are just discarded. (Paul Dickson) Old accountants never die, they're just disfigured. (Paul Dickson) Old auctioneers never die, they just look forbidding. (Paul Dickson) Sign in a public men's lavatory: "We aim to please. Won't you aim too, please?" (Richard Lederer) Confucius says, "he who eat crackers in bed, have crummy sleep." (Curly David) Confucius says, "No man is island, but some women are whales." (Curly David) Confucius says, "Man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self." (Curly David) I'm not saying she's easy, but she's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum. (Archives) I'm not saying she's easy, but she's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood. (Archives) I'm not saying she's easy, but she's turned more tricks than David Copperfield. (Archives) I'm not saying she's easy, but she's been boarded more times than Amtrak. (Archives) I'm not saying she's easy, but she's done more screwing than Black and Decker. (Archives) Waiter, there’s a hair in my dinner.” “Yes, sir, that’s because its rabbit stew.” (Archives) -<>- ___ __|___|__ ('o_o') _\~-~/_ ______. //\__/\ \ ~(_]---' / )O O( .\/_) \ \ / \_/ )/_| |_\ // /(\/)\ \ /_/ \_\ (_|| ||_) \| |__| |/ | | | | | | | | |_| |_| JRO /_\ /_\ >Redneck quickies 24 ** You might be a redneck if... You've ever hitchhiked naked, You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer. You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle. Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine." The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot. The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. You take a fishing pole to Sea World. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course. You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport. The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. You list your parole officer as a reference. There are more fish on your wall than pictures. Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming. -<>- (:. |\`:. | \ `:. | \__(:. | \ `:. __ __________ | \__(:. <`__') / \____ | \ `:._ :9)9\\ | Right? ,-' | \__(L). \o_/` \__________/ | "\)) _ /\ `. | \.`:`-.//,' ) | `. `--+' ,'// | `;;---'.// | . _,--;;' `-// | \`..-'_.-' _,=._,_/ | \_\`'._,-','_,'`._________ | _,-'___\,'___'_,'____`._______ | [______________________________ | | | | | | | | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~ool ( ( o_ ) ) ( ( ) ) | | `--' compliment | `-._____,-' `--' compliment | compliment | compliment compliment J compliment compliment compliment compliment compliment Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" -<>- A _,-' `-._ _-'_________`-_ ``---\_ _/---`` (_ - _) \_._/ 8 __H__ 8 \ | / 8 |\ | /| 8 _|_|||_|_8 `-,/ \,-'8. | | `8< | | |-,-| gnv'-'-' A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly. Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. She went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you." Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do." Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." ___|___ __|__ .---. |___| __\_/__ __X__ | | |_____| Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The real poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her." MORAL: have you ever realised that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who loves others will also be loved in return.' God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. Also see Galatians 6:7. Everyone reaps what they sow. With thanks to Odete Ferreira -<>- >V.P. Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom asked "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?" The clerk replied, "Canned or frozen?" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Wild Bear Release! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrelease.html Best Bed Positions! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bed.html Tour Inside Of Google http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html Chinese Wal-Mart! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html We've All Been There! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html Cat In a Box! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html Just Thinking! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html Ford's First RV! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html Houses For Hermits! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/house.html You Are The Only You God Has http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html Self Talk http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/selftalk.html Trash Shadow Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Count It Off http://tinyurl.com/da3vcl Cloud Computing in Plain English http://tinyurl.com/d5je9u hotmail - blank inboxes http://tinyurl.com/33u2rex Steve Harvey Introduces Jesus http://tinyurl.com/6kd79f --- ...Sweet! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Swallowing http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm Swimming http://www.buffaloschips.com/gerg.htm szambr http://www.buffaloschips.com/hyth.htm Telissa http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfgytik.htm Texan Gun Control Witness http://www.buffaloschips.com/kijld.htm High Energy Level http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjkjkjklkjl.htm His Mother-In-Law http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdssfdfsdsd.htm Horse Wisdom http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklaskjds.htm HMO Doctor http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsuyue7.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Is this a bad idea? The folks at Sprint announced it is developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine Dead in Interstate Pileup.'" --Jay Leno "Do you know what you call people in Hollywood who've been married for 3 years? Divorced." --David Letterman "A new study found that sleep is essential to creativity. I'd just like to say that we have the most creative audience in all of television!" --Craig Kilborn "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because the are generally the same people." --Gilbert Keith Chesterton "With high-definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your twenty-fifth high school reunion." --Jay Leno "Recently, while I was on a shopping trip in a department store, I heard a little five-year-old talking to his mother on the down escalator. He said, 'Mommy, what do they do when the basement gets full of steps?'" --Hal Linden "We should not tell our kids they can be whatever they want to be. We should ask them, 'What will you settle for?' You want to be a fireman? How about working as a short order cook at Sizzler? There are flames involved." --Robert G. Lee "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant "Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec." - J. Hart "My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping." - Rita Rudner >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chhristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************