Flaw In Woman And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) .-""-. ; .-. ; oo _.('.__.' :-..__// i".._'-.__.'_.._.-" fsc I got great news from my brother. He is back on-line! I sure did miss him! I seem to force myself to find time to communicate on this computer but snail mail and even phone calls get pushed back to the 'when I have time' priority list which seems to be never! Now with him on-line, I can chat with him much more and keep up to date on how he and his pets [kids] are doing! I love it. Gave me smiles all day as I reminded myself about it. I just got to tell you how crazy I was when my brother went off line. When I first got on the Yearbook.com site, I saw a person that I just HAD to be friends with because he looked a lot like my brother! I was missing my brother and with this new friends permission, I started calling him 'my bro'. So much so that even his friends started calling him 'my bro'! That became his new nickname on the Yearbook! It is funny. Oh well, see what happens when people get obsessed! Least wise me anyway - TeeHee! -<>- What a busy Weekend and Monday! I hardly have time to get anything done, but I did manage to get our first and now second 'Politics' issue out. * IF YOU WANT These Issues OR Future POLITICS FORWARDS ETC: Send an email to: bcrsystems@earthlink.net With the Subject line: Politics PLEASE * IF YOU WANT -OFF- THE POLITICS FORWARDS ETC: Send an email to: bcrsystems@earthlink.net With the Subject line: NO MORE Politics PLEASE -<>- .-'''''-. |'-----'| /`-.....-`\ | <_} | | .-\-. | _,._ | /# ` \ | __.-` `"""-. | \ / | ..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' / (` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'` '-----------' ( ) jgs `-------------` I managed to also add a recipe from our friend Jo Ann that sounded pretty easy and yummy - I love cookies! Pumpkin Cookies by Jo Ann: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html -<>- >Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) I outdid myself Sunday and worked hard on getting some pages done up. I've been getting so many good forwards, it is hard to figure which ones to do up first! *~* Thank You So Much To ALL Our Contributors! God Bless You! I decided to take 4 Forwards from our friend Jo Ann and make 1 sweet page. Check It Out Here... _ \`*-. ) _`-. . : `. . : _ ' \ ; *` _. `*-._ `-.-' `-. ; ` `. :. . \ . \ . : .-' . ' `+.; ; ' : : ' | ; ;-. ; ' : :`-: _.`* ; [bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*' `*-* `*-* `*-*' Awww Animals 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals4.html I took 2 Forwards from our friend Viv and came up with the following adorable page... . / \__ .. _ \.' '._o \_|_) )) __( __ / / ). \ _( ,/ /.____.' / '' '..-' | \ _ ( )v /-'._ ) //// |// // \\ // // \\ ||\\ --"------"-"--"-- mrf Miracle Fawn http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rupert.html *~* Awesome Ones - Thanks Jo Ann And Viv!!! ================================================================ >-->From the FunnyBone: The Typical Texas Baby _.--. .-"`_.--.\ .-.___________ A Texan bought a round ."_-"` \\ ( 0;------/\"'` of drinks for all in ,."=___ =)) \ \ / \ the bar and announced `~` .=`~'~) ( _/ / / \ that his wife had =`---====""~`\ _/ / \ just produced a `-------"` / \ typical Texas baby, jgs / \ weighing a whopping ( ) twenty pounds. '._ _.' '----' "WOW!" was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "10 pounds." The bartender said, "Why? I know that babies lose some weight after birth, but ten pounds? He did weigh twenty pounds, didn't he? What happened? The proud Texas father said, "Just had him circumcised!" ==================================================================== +---------------- Bizarre Accident Reports ----------------+ [Actual quotes from those involved] "I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it." "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him." "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident." "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment." "I was trying to get out of the ambulance's way when I hit the pedestrian on the sidewalk." "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he boun- ced off the hood of my car." "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way." =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Becky :) _____ _..--'''@ @'''--.._ .' @_/-//-\/>/>'/ @ '. ( @ /_carrot cake No cheating. If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one)! Trust me...this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you. REMEMBER - No Cheating. Make your choice before you check the meaning. After taking this dessert personality test, send this e-mail on to others, but when you do, be sure to put your choice of dessert in the subject box above. ALSO, SEND IT TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU. DON'T FORGET TO CHANGE YOUR DESSERT CHOICE IN THE SUBJECT BOX BEFORE YOU FORWARD IT. Here are your choices: 1. Angel Food Cake 2. Brownies 3. Lemon Meringue Pie 4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing 5. Strawberry Short Cake 6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing 7. Ice Cream 8. Carrot Cake No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully a bout what your choice will be. OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you... SCROLL DOWN---No Cheating 1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzyitems. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times. 2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal. 3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends. 4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life. 5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves. 6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passi onate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh. 7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance. 8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model. SEND TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS..... DON'T FORGET - PUT YOUR CHOICE OF DESSERT IN 'SUBJECT BOX' ABOVE BEFORE YOU FORWARD! --- ...Hard choices but since I rarely get it, I went for the LEMON MERINGUE PIE though Carrot Cake was an almost tie! -<>- Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole? *I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." *My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behindthe counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. *Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh my, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me!" Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! *This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too! While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off!". No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and so were half of the passengers. Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a good laugh. --- ...TeeHee! Great ones! Thanks Becky! ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) ____ ___|=--=/ \=--=| :(___.--. .--.___): { __ ' ) ( ` __ )= ""----'Ahas '----"" ====' >Shoes in church I showered and shaved............. I adjusted my tie. I got there and sat............. In a pew just in time. Bowing my head in prayer......... As I closed my eyes. I saw the shoe of the man next to me..... Touching my own. I sighed. With plenty of room on either side...... I thought, 'Why must our soles touch?' It bothered me, his shoe touching mine... But it didn't bother him much. A prayer began: 'Our Father'............. I thought, 'This man with the shoes, has no pride. They're dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse, there are holes on the side!' 'Thank You for blessings,' the prayer went on. The shoe man said............... A quiet 'Amen.' I tried to focus on the prayer....... But my thoughts were on his shoes again. Aren't we supposed to look our best. When walking through that door? 'Well, this certainly isn't it,' I thought, Glancing toward the floor. Then the prayer was ended........... And the songs of praise began. The shoe man was certainly loud...... Sounding proud as he sang. His voice lifted the rafters......... His hands were raised high. The Lord could surely hear. The shoe man's voice from the sky. It was time for the offering....... And what I threw in was steep. I watched as the shoe man reached.... Into his pockets so deep. I saw what was pulled out.......... What the shoe man put in. Then I heard a soft 'clink' As when silver hits tin. The sermon really bored me......... To tears, and that's no lie. It was the same for the shoe man... For tears fell from his eyes. At the end of the service...... As is the custom here. We must greet new visitors, And show them all good cheer. But I felt moved somehow............. And wanted to meet the shoe man. So after the closing prayer....... I reached over and shook his hand. He was old and his skin was dark.... And his hair was truly a mess. But I thanked him for coming......... For being our guest. He said, 'My names' Charlie .......... I'm glad to meet you, my friend.' There were tears in his eyes....... But he had a large, wide grin. 'Let me explain,' he said......... Wiping tears from his eyes. 'I've been coming here for months.... And you're the first to say 'Hi.'' 'I know that my appearance.........'Is not like all the rest. 'But I really do try.................'To always look my best.' 'I always clean and polish my shoes.. 'Before my very long walk. 'But by the time I get here.........'They're dirty and dusty, like chalk.' My heart filled with pain........... And I swallowed to hide my tears. As he continued to apologize......... For daring to sit so near He said, 'When I get here...........'I know I must look a sight. 'But I thought if I could touch you. 'Then maybe our souls might unite.' I was silent for a moment........... Knowing whatever was said Would pale in comparison... I spoke from my heart, not my head. 'Oh, you've touched me,' I said......'And taught me, in part; 'That the best of any man............'Is what is found in his heart.' The rest, I thought, ................ This shoe man will never know. Like just how thankful I really am... That his dirty old shoe touched my soul -<>- (O) (O) || (O) || .----. || || || / O O\ / \ || / \ ' O ' : : / \ : : \ / | | : : | | __`----'______________________________\__/__| |__\__/____pjb \__/ >For a little Halloween fun, try Cat Bowling HINT: After hitting 'play', watch the arrow ~ When it points to where you want the ball to go, Hit the space bar ... Have fun! http://www.bravozulu.com/content/includes/cat.swf --- ...Thanks Viv! I'm not too good at this. When my little Grandson played this he just kept saying 'stop laughing witch!' ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ >The One Flaw In Women By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?' And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.' The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.' 'But I won't, ' the Lord protested 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.' The angel moved closer and touched the woman. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.' 'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.' 'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel. The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.' The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. 'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.' 'That's not a leak,' the Lord corrected, 'that's a tear!' 'What's the tear for?' the angel asked. The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,her loneliness, her grief and her pride.' The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.' And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong w hen they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH. PLEASE pass this along to your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are. --- ...Cool! Thanks Tony! ================================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From Grassfire: I've got incredible news to report! With three weeks to Election Day, Grassfire team members have stepped up and sponsored thousands of our Quotes and Votes voter scorebooks to impact the key battleground states! That's why I'm writing you, We're asking team members living in these critical battleground states to help us distribute our Quotes and Votes resources by giving us the name of your church or community group. Click here for more: http://www.grassfire.org/10097/church_signup.asp Please know there is absolutely no cost to you! All of these booklets that will be shipping to the key battleground states, have been sponsored. We just need to get them into the hands of voters! + + A Most Important Resource At A Most Important Time Our Quotes and Votes scorebook is unique in that we've put the two candidates side-by-side, and stripped away any and all media bias and spin. The result is their words, and their votes on more than 20 critical issues including immigration, economy, marriage and family, health care, and more. As Cynthia from Virginia said after reading the booklet, "This little booklet is a real time saver because I didn't have to track down all the information on each of the candidates. Quotes and Votes did it for me--putting everything I needed at my fingertips!" Thanks in advance for helping us distribute this important election resource to your church or community group. Steve Elliott, President Grassfire.org -<>- >From AFA: /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH AFA ends boycott: McDonald's agrees to changes Great news! Because of AFA supporters like you, McDonald’s has told AFA they will remain neutral in the culture war regarding homosexual marriage. AFA is ending the boycott of McDonald’s. As you know, AFA called for the boycott in May after McDonald’s joined the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). McDonald’s said McDonald’s Vice President Richard Ellis has resigned his position on the board of NGLCC and that his seat on the board will not be replaced. McDonald’s also said that the company has no plans to renew their membership in NGLCC when it expires in December. In an e-mail to McDonald’s franchised owners the company said, “It is our policy to not be involved in political and social issues. McDonald’s remains neutral on same sex marriage or any ‘homosexual agenda’ as defined by the American Family Association.” We appreciate the decision by McDonald’s to no longer support political activity by homosexual activist organizations. You might want to thank your local McDonald’s manager. --- ...Yeah!! That's the way business should be run! Awww, Chicken Nuggets again! Yummy! --- Please help us get this information into the hands of as many people as possible by forwarding it to your entire e-mail list of family and friends. PBS running poll on Sarah Palin. http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html AFA counters by running poll on Barack Obama. October 13, 2008 PBS, the most liberal network in America (funded, incidentally, by your tax dollars) is running a poll concerning Sarah Palin. Their question is: Do you think Sarah Palin is qualified to serve as Vice President of the United States? Since PBS and the liberal media will widely publicize the results, AFA has decided to run a poll concerning the qualifications of Barack Obama. The question: Do you think Barack Obama is qualified to serve as President of the United States? Take the Poll! http://www.afa.net/petitions/pbspoll/takesurvey.asp PBS refuses to show the number of individuals voting in their poll. It could be that only a small handful voted. AFA will show the number voting. Please send this to your family and friends. For regular updates on this poll, check the top center column at www.afa.net. Sincerely, Don Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association -<>- >From BizarreNews: __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' -- Police: Bunny suited robber arrested ----------- STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Swedish police said they have arrested two people accused of plotting to rob a currency exchange office while one wore a blue bunny costume. Authorities said the pair and five alleged assistants were arrested after the two allegedly attempted to rob the targeted office but were foiled by staff members who activated a security door, Swedish News Agency TT reported. Witnesses said one of the suspects was dressed in a blue bunny costume and the other was wearing a crash helmet and holding a shotgun. They were both being held on suspicion of armed robbery Wednesday, police said. The person in the rabbit suit is also a suspect in another crime that took place earlier in the day, investigators said. "We also received a report about a stolen bunny suit," Stockholm police spokesman Bjorn Engstrom said. -- Mouse 1, Viper 0 -------------------- TAIPEI, Taiwan - Taiwan firefighters caring for a foot- long viper tossed a tiny mouse in the cage as a snack but then watched as the mouse turned mighty and killed the snake. The furry little rodent skirted in and out of range of the snake's gaping jaws and long fangs, darted in for a bite, then skittered away, constantly on the attack. At the end of a fierce 30-minute battle at the Nanoun fire station, the snake was dead and the mouse had "barely a scratch on him," one fireman told The Daily Telegraph. -- Texas bans fish pedicures ----------------- AUSTIN, Texas - Texas banned fish pedicures Thursday, barring salons from providing small live fish to eat the dead skin off clients' feet. The state Department of Licensing and Regulation said that the practice could transmit disease, The Dallas Morning News reported. A spokeswoman, Susan Stanford, said that the same fish are used for different clients.Living fish cannot be subjected to rigorous disinfection, Stanford said. The craze for fish pedicures, pioneered by a salon in Virginia, spread quickly this summer. Stanford said she didn't know how many Texas salons do fish pedicures. Zoe Caldwell, one of the owners of Zen Luxury Nail & Beauty Bar in Frisco, said she paid $2,500 for 500 fish. "I guess we will either keep them as pets or send them back," she said. She said that her salon follows rigorous procedures with its fish, disinfecting footbaths after every procedure while the fish are transferred to a tank and treated with antimicrobial agents. ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ 1 MINUTE EACH NIGHT This is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced and from the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees. Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, then stand back and watch His wonders to behold. This Scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by My name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. During WWII, there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England , its people and peace. This had an amazing effect as bombing stopped. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever !!! If you would like to participate: each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world, the upcoming election, that the Bible will remain the basis for the laws governing our land and that Christianity will grow in the US. If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along. Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have. Thank You. Please pass this on to anyone who you think will want to join us. God Bless You !!! GOD BLESS AMERICA ! ! --- ...Thanks Jo Ann! =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ "I Am A `SOLDIER` In The Army of My God." The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer. The Holy Bible is my Code of Conduct. Faith, Prayer, And the `Word`, Are my Weapons of Warfare. I have been Taught by the HOLY GHOST, Trained by Experience, Tried by Adversity, And tested by Fire. I `m a Volunteer in this Army, And I have Enlisted for Eternity. I Will Not Get Out, Sell Out, Be Talked Out, Or Pushed Out. I am Faithful, Reliable, Capable, And Dependable. If my God needs me, I am `There`. A`m not a Baby. I do not need to be Pampered, Petted, Pumped up, Picked up, Or Pepped up. Because I am a Soldier! I am not a Wimp. I am `In Place`, And I`m Saluting my King, Obeying His Orders, Praising His Name, And Building His Kingdom! No one has to send me Flowers, Gifts, Food, Cards or, Candy. I do not need to be Cuddled, Cradled, Cared for, Or Catered to. I Am Committed. I cannot have my feelings hurt Bad enough to turn me Around. I cannot be Discouraged enough To Turn Me Aside. I cannot Lose enough To Cause Me To Quit. For When Jesus called me into His Army, I had Nothing. If I End up with Nothing, I will still come out Ahead. BECAUSE I Will Win. My God has and will continue To Supply ~`ALL`~ My Needs. I am More than a Conqueror. I will Always Triumph. I can do all things through Christ JESUS!. Devils cannot Defeat me. People cannot Disillusion me. Weather cannot Weary me. Sickness cannot STOP me. Battles cannot Beat me. Money cannot Buy me. Governments cannot Silence me. Death can-not destroy me And ``Hell`` Can-not Handle me. Because I`m a soldier for the KING!. For when my Commander Calls me from this Battlefield, He Will Promote me to Captain, And then allow me to rule with Him FOREVER. I am a soldier in GOD`S Army, And I´m claiming `Victory`. I WILL NOT GIVE UP !. I WILL NOT TURN AROUND!. I AM A SOLDIER !, Ever Marching, And I`M Heaven Bound!, PRAISING, and SINGING~~ "GLORY TO GOD FOREVER"! And FOREVER And FOREVER ~Amen~ (John-Paul)~A~soilder~in~GOD`S~Army --- ...AMEN! Thanks John-Paul! ========================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: // // // // _______|| ,-''' ||`-. ( || ) |`-..._______,..-'| | || | | _______|| | |,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.| | ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~| |`-...___/___,..-'| | `-./-'_ \/_| | | -' ~~ || -.| jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ ) `-..._______,..-' Drinking Christian A woman who happened to be a dedicated Christian and faithful member of her church had been working really hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the kitchen phone rang, so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer. 'It's Pastor Bob, Mommy,' the child said to her mother. Before the busy mother could tell the child to have him hold on for a minute, the youngster quickly responded back to the minister, 'Mommy can't talk on the phone right now, she's hitting the bottle.' >From http://gatewaytojesus.com/funnychurchhumor3.html === By way of the Sermon Fodder list. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable go to www.sermonfodder.com and click at the bottom to join our merry gruop. Please leave this attached if you forward or post on the web. ======================= My recent absence.... It's been a wild month. Our last Sermon Fodder Posting was on September 28th. There's a reason. I got a 48 hour bug and ended up in the hospital for two days. Apparently that weakened my immune system and I've ened up with allergies that have required two trips back to the doctor and have evolved into about a week of laryngitis. I'm loaded up on medication. You prayers would be appreciated. I need all the help I can get. Keith The Sermnon Fodder Guy ========================== House of SMITE Halloween is almost here. All the kids are working on their costumes, decorating their houses, and dreaming of huge bags of candy. Many churches provide an alternative for the kids at Halloween, with the hope that they'll mend their wicked ways. Hell Houses, Judgment Houses, and Revelation Walks. In addition to doing some great Bible Teaching on the Key Life Network (KeyLife.org), my friend Steve Brown has a quasi-secular radio show. Steve and his crew produced a spoof radio spot for an evanvelical based house of horror like so many that pop up this time of year. For the latest "House of Smite Radio" spot go to: http://stevebrownetc.com/podcasts/comedy-bits-pieces/the-house-of- smite/ ==================================== I'm Starbucks Challenged By Steve Hanchett A couple of times a week I meet with some friends in the morning for coffee. It gives us a chance to shoot the bull and solve all the world's problems. Earlier this week we decided to break our normal routine and go to Starbucks for our session. To me coffee is coffee. I have never tried Frapacinno or Cappacino and I don't think I even have them spelled correctly. Just give me some regular ole coffee and I'm content. Don't need anything with stuff on top, or anything that has to be mixed in a blender, and for sure don't put ice in it. When I got in line at Starbucks a young man was in front of me and he ordered something like a "Starbucks moccha latte iced with a double shot with cream whipped shaken not stirred." He said it so fast I didn't quite make out exactly what he wanted but the smiling woman taking his order didn't miss a beat. She put the concoction together in no time. My turn - "Good morning!!!! Welcome to Starbucks!!!! How can I help you???" "I want coffee," I replied. She paused and with a confused look on her face asked me if I wanted a "tall." Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is a good reason they don't call them small, medium and large, but that is my gauge for drinks. Asking me about tall and short and whatever comes in between is like talking to me about liters and kilometers. I'm just guessing at some sort of conversion into measurements I understand. It was too early. "I want a small coffee." "What kind of coffee do you want?" She said, the smile now absent. "Just regular coffee," I said. "We have a "Wild West Jamaican Dark Roasted Morning Wakeup Call or the Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium Blend," she said. "Just give me the medium thing. A small one." "OK, I need a short Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium," she said to no one in particular but a blond college age girl sprang into action. "That will be $6,359 and 23 cents. Do you want that on your credit card?" They need to have special classes for ordering at Starbucks. How do all these people know what this stuff is? I'll I know is that you drink coffee and some people put sugar and/or cream in it. I'm Starbucks challenged. I think I'm past learning how to order at Starbucks. So its back to the old hang out where you just ask for coffee. They don't give you options about the size of the thing. You just get a cup and the waitress comes around occasionally and asks if you want it warmed up. They put a chrome mini-pitcher on the table with cream in it and a glass sugar jar with the flappy lid from which it comes out. Its pretty simple and it only costs about a buck. Incidentally, I notice that Starbucks ends with a buck in the plural form - "BUCKS." Aptly named I say. ========= To learn more about Steve Hanchett go to www.mostimportantthing.org and type in "Steve Hanchett" in the search box http://prolepticlife.wordpress.com/category/humor/ =================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _|_ ____|____ #%@@ /~~~~.~~~~\ @@%# @%%#%%, /~~~~/ \~~~~\ ,%%#%%@ %%@@%%@%/~~~~/ : \~~~~\%@%%@@%% `@%%%@#@/____/ (X) \____\@%%%@#@` @@\@%%@`|.`.| ___ |.`.|`@%%@/@@ `#%/@ |:x:|| .||:x:| @\%#` || |:x:|| ||:x:| || -_|| _-|:x:||~ .||:x:|-_ ||_- !-!-!-!-!-|___||___||___|-!-!-!-!-!lc The pastor's sermon focused on how God know's which of us grows best in the sunlight and which of us needs shade. "For example," he said, "roses must be planted in the sun, but fuchsias thrive in the shade." After the service, a woman, her face beaming, approached him. "Your sermon did me so much good," she said. Before he had time to gloat too much, however, she added, "I always wondered what was wrong with my fuchsias." -<>- After our friend Tom had been a temporary Bachelor for several weeks, we stopped by his Home to visit him. My wife asked if he was eating Properly. "Well, I do eat a lot of dog food," Tom Told her. "Dog food!" my wife exclaimed, horrified. "I can't believe you would be eating anything Like that!" "Come to the kitchen and I'll show you," Tom replied. Opening the refrigerator door, He waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from half of the restaurants in town. -<>- Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, the coach said, "That record will stand forever." I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago." -<>- A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with his girlfriend. The truck matched them turn for turn, down every street. My son's concern grew to alarm when the menacing-looking driver pulled next to him at a light, leaned out his window, and glared into his car. After a long, hard stare, the man grinned and called to my son, "Sorry, kid, I thought that was my daughter." -<>- When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife. "That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000." -<>- On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad. "We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped. "Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied. I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?" -<>- Our parish priest was making a visit to my nephew's home. He knocked on the door, and the little 4-year-old boy went to the door and way the priest. He called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!" =========================================================== >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Childhood Home http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc/CHome.html Finacial Stewardship http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/financialstewardship.html 10 Most Condusing Signs http://jalopnik.com/5044869/americas-10-most-confusing-traffic-signs Words They Want Gone http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1847042,00.html Reflex Tester http://www.happyhub.com/network/reflex/ Doggie Zone http://www.bargraph.com/farfun/flood.html Kitty Korner http://www.timberkatz.com/ George Global http://www.buffaloschips.com/90921.htm Houdini's Cat http://www.buffaloschips.com/90922.htm How its done http://www.buffaloschips.com/90923.htm Paris breaks out http://www.buffaloschips.com/90210.htm Taxi Please http://www.buffaloschips.com/81844.htm Ten Quarters Ten Glasses One Throw http://www.buffaloschips.com/81845.htm Trucks http://www.buffaloschips.com/81846.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "According to a new medical study, barbecuing is bad for your prostate. Well, I'm glad they got this out in time. I was going to barbecue my prostate this weekend. I had no idea it's bad for you." -Jay Leno "As kids, instead of building sandcastles, we'd make sand sculptures of naked women. It was tricky though, cause we didn't know what naked women looked like. I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. I was 24 before I saw a woman with her coat off. I thought a cardigan was an erogenous zone." -Craig Ferguson "Wal-Mart says it classifies its customers into three groups: brand aspirationals, price sensitive affluents, and value-price shoppers. Wal-Mart says the new categories will replace the old customer classifications: teeth or no teeth." --Conan O'Brien "They are now reporting that the Grand Canyon is having a financial crisis. They say there might not be enough money to keep it going. How did the Grand Canyon make it this far?" --Jay Leno "What they put women through today when they're having a baby! They don't want to medicate them, as compared to previous generations. When my mom had me, she had so much medication, she didn't wake up till I was seven." --Dennis Wolfberg "The other night in Milwaukee, a brawl broke out among people leaving a Celine Dion concert. Apparently, the people leaving early were in the way of the people trying to leave really early." -Conan O'Brien "There's an asteroid heading toward the earth and we're all going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there's a 1 in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036. Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It's headed toward the earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn't send scissors; that would be impractical." -Craig Ferguson "Here's some good news – a woman in Milwaukee gave birth to a 13 pound 12 ounce baby girl last week. Thirteen pound 12 ounces. Doctors say the baby will be walking before the mother." --Jay Leno ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & SService You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************