Flight Advertising Slogans And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This first sizzling hot new page is from our friends Linda and LouiseAu. It's a cute one for all you creative souls out there looking for ideas to dress up your fall festivities or kid's plates or for those who just like a little cuteness in their life. Be sure to check this one out and for additional rib tickling, check out the video here too. * * ,,, ____()() } ======= ( \\ \ \\____===. based on a duck by Marvin Bedard ______) ( )\(____ / ___/ \ [%]__ \ //|| // \ ||\\ || ||__^^^ ^^^___|| || ejm97 ||/____\_/----\_/_____\|| | ____________________ || || || || || || || || || || || || || || || Playing With Food 6 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food6.html --- ...Such a fun art series! Thanks Ladies! This next flaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. It's for all you who love soaring to dangerous heights and riding the edge. Here's adventurous folks who will take you there virtually. Just hold on to your stomachs and visit here: _ _____.------[_] +------------|x| | |x| | |x| | |x| | |x| j |x| ' \/\_ |X| ( |X| (o) |X| |X| \ FXJ z! J>Xx<_\ [] [] VK Through Daredevil Eyes 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daredevil2.html --- ...Lots of fun jitters here! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans: 1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you. 2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings. 3. Join our frequent near-miss program. 4. On flights, every section is a smoking section. 5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. 6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin. 7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off. 8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall. 9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you. 10. The kids will love our inflatable slides. 11. If you think it's so easy, get your own plane! 12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes? 13. Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose. 14. BadAir: We may be landing on your street. 15. BadAir: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us. 16. Bring a bathing suit. 17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view. 18. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots. 19. Fly BadAir and enjoy a free two-week hospital stay on us. 20. BadAir: A real man lands where he wants to. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 21 is Babbling Day, Count Your Buttons Day and National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day October 22 is National Nut Day October 23 is National Mole Day and TV Talk Show Host Day October 24 is National Bologna Day and United Nations Day October 25 is Frankenstein Friday, Punk for a Day Day and World Pasta Day October 26 is Make a Difference Day and National Mincemeat Day October 27 is Hindu Diwali Day, Mother-In-Law Day, National Tell a Story Day - in Scotland and the U.K. and Navy Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .--..-""""-..--. ///`/////////\`\\\ ||/ |///""\\\| \|| ## ( 6. 6 ) ## /_\ \ _. / /_\ _`) (`_ /` '--' `\ / _,,_ \ / /` `\ \ /\_/ / 6 6\ \_/\ \ \/\ Y /\/ / \ \/ `'U` \/ / \( \ / )/ |\_/ \_/| / ____ \ \ ( || ) / (__)||(__) | || | |__||__| jgs |==||==| /~`//~`/ / // / `""` `"` >Too Rough A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" -<>- Shopping at the Mall While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where we'd been to look for him. The woman in charge of the carts smiled knowingly. "Finished before your husband I see," she said. "Well, I have three men waiting over there on the bench ... take one. It should all work out even at the end of the day." -<>- >Ranch Loan My father's method of accounting for the hundreds of cattle on his ranch was very unique. Every spring, he would move the herd down a long ramp, through a wooden gate and into a holding pen for inspection. As each animal entered the pen, he marked the count on the gate. One summer, he went to the bank to apply for a loan, using his cattle for collateral. The bank officer asked to see his records. "No problem," replied Dad. He went back to the ranch, took the gate off its hinges and brought it to the bank. He got the loan. -<>- >Conditioned Response When my daughter-in-law and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip ... not enough for even a modest lunch ... we decided to feed it to her two cats. She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it. Thinking quickly, my daughter-in-law then picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down. The cats dug right in. -<>- >Retirement After years in the hotel industry as a sales manager, my mother decided the stress and the information revolution called for her early retirement (she couldn't get the hang of a fax machine and hated anything with a microprocessor). One of the first things she did as a retiree was to get a tiny puppy, aptly named Mini. Then she outfitted it with a fleece-lined tartan jacket so it could brave the winters. "Now you've got a lapdog and you're dressing her up," I teased. "Mom, since you've retired, you've started acting like a little old lady." "I'd rather have a lapdog," she shot back, "than a laptop!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,aJSRBRiWMMNNBRbn. .AMMNNNBBRIIiWMMMNNBRSSi .AMMMMMNNNBR*"' ^%e AMMMMMMMMNR" ` "$n ,JMMMMMMMNR" ,yjXXXXXXXXXXbIj .AMMMMMMMM#" ,nP l. .AMMMMMMMM#" .k` t. .NMMRBRBNMM# ,y$ `%& AMMBRRMMB#o &$ .., . .lb AMMBRRIRMMt#O &$' ;" '"*Nk , ,-`$N ,NMMBRRIRMMBtM##&$ _`,xMWx_i ( idMW$- ,NMMMMBRRIRMMBi#t/# " """^ ' % 'j ,MMMMMBRRIRMMBri#N.?k % `; ,NMMMBRRIRMMBRri##i;!E o .) ,' ,NMMBRRIRMMBRtri###Nx,b ~ ~ .y ,MMMBRRIRMMBRttri#####XMBb ' i' MMMBRRIRMMMBRtttri####lXNM> ,awwe. ,l NMMBRRIRMMMBRtttr.i###lXNMB. `"""""` .y NMMBRRIRMMMBRtttri.i##iXNMBb% %BMMW d VNMMBRRIRMMBRtttri.i##iXNBMMj `- j' lMMMBRRIRMMBRttri.i##iXNBMMBR' ...+ #MMBRRIRMMBRtri.i##iXNBMMMMW' Y '#MBRRIRMMBRti.i##ilXNBMMMMW' fA ##MMRRIRMMBRti##ilXNBMMMMMW' .BRM # VMBRIRMMMBRi#ilXNBMMMMMW' MBRRM ## YMBRIRMMMBRi#jXNBMMMMMW' ,MMBRSM ## VMBRIRMMMBR#BNBMMMMW" f %MBRSM "#. VMRMMWNR$$#lRNWBRR" l `"&iF_ '##. INR$$" "# ^'.. ,. .,rilk "=+i, "#,$$$$ "#-===.&%%%%e.. le^' `%. #$$$' .-" '# ""****. .j ,\~;,=-~, $$$$ # mY ,i%`,;~ `` $$$ " Y" ,;%%%%. $$$ ' I &%%%%% >SMILES A traveling buyer had been on a trip for three months. Every few weeks he'd send a telegram to his wife saying: "Can't come home. Still buying." The wife stood it for a while, but when the fourth month started and her husband still had no idea of returning, she decided to do something. She sent him a telegram. "Better come home. I'm selling what you're buying." ---------- Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!" ---------- A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was...." ---------- There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me." So he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with that man. " She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with the man?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check." ---------- A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams". ---------- There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!" ---------- Sam's barn burned down and his wife, Jane, called the insurance company. Jane spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that dang-on barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured and then we'll provide you with another barn, just like the original one." There was a long pause, and then Jane replied, "If that's how it works, I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband.” ---------- Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't know if he would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance. As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun. Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up and down and said "I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I dance with." Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied, "You can darned well see that I am not." ---------- Our parish priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass scheduled for that day. His brother, of course, agreed. It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask the gender of the deceased. This was information that he would need for his remarks during the service. Thinking quickly, as he approached the first pew where the deceased's relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?" "Cousin," she replied. ------- Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the Doctor and says, "Hi Sammy." The wife, somewhat irritated, asks, "And who is that?" Dr. says, "Oh, that's my Mistress." Wife asks, "You have a Mistress? How long has this been going on?" Dr.: "About five years." Wife: "Five years? I'll see a lawyer tomorrow and start a divorce. You'll be ruined." Dr.: "Now think about it, if we divorce we each get half of what we have. You won't have that big house, you won't get a new Cadillac every year and you won't be playing golf and bridge all day with your so called friends." Just then a cute redhead walks by and says, "Hi Sammy." Wife: "And who is that one?" Dr.: "That's Bill Grant's Mistress." Wife: "Doctor Grant has a Mistress, too?" Dr.: "About twelve years now." Wife: "Ours is a lot prettier...." --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA This is a tribute to all the Grandmas and Grandpas who have been fearless and learned to use the computer. The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly it's true! She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the Recycle Bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Google My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! --- ...HAHAHA! So Funny! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: , ."". , , # |()| # , _#_#___|__|___#_#__ [__________________] |-_ -=__=-_ -==_-| |_.------------.=| |=| o o |=| _|-| ! `( ! |-|_ /==_| ! _(_.)_ ! |=_-\ |jgs|/^\^=^^=^/^\| _=| Heating is expensive. That's why every year I postpone turning the furnace on as long as possible. Well, last weekend the temperature in my house got down to 56 F and I figured that was cold enough. But just because we're well into fall doesn't mean we have throw any more money away on heating than we have to. * Humidifiers. Using a humidifier can reduce your heating costs because moist air retains heat better than dry air. There are other benefits to using a humidifier as well: they reduce static electricity (and annoying winter time shocks!), dry skin, and make it easier to breathe. Cost: $30 and up. * Use fans to move the heated air around your house. If you have ceiling fans, set them on the lowest speed and have them push the warm air at the ceiling down to your level (warm air rises). This could allow you to lower the temperature of your thermostat by making the room feel a lot warmer. * Seal the leaks in your house. If you seal most of the common leaks, you can save up to 10 percent on your heating bill this winter. To detect leaks, wait until it is cold outside; you will probably need at least a 30-degree difference in the indoor/outdoor temperatures to notice the difference. * Common areas to find leaks include around doors, windows, near the attic, where wires and cables enter your house, and around electrical outlets. Seal gaps around any pipes, wires, vents or other openings with caulk or weather stripping. * Casseroles! Making meals at home saves money (especially if you make enough for leftovers) and using your stove helps keep your home nice and toasty without running the furnace. -<>- Now that we're into fall it's getting darker earlier and the weather is colder. It's the perfect season for lighting up that fireplace. Sixty-five percent, or approximately 100 million homes, in North America are constructed with wood or gas burning fireplaces. Unfortunately, as charming as they are, there are negative side effects that the fireplace brings to a home. Fire- places are massive energy losers. Researchers have studied this to determine the amount of heat loss through a fireplace, and the results are amazing. One research study showed that an open damper on an unused fireplace in a well-insulated house can raise overall heating-energy consumption by 30 percent. * A recent study showed that for many consumers, their heating bills may be more than $500 higher per winter due to the air leakage and wasted energy caused by fireplaces. * Why does a home with a fireplace have higher heating bills? Hot air rises. Your heated air leaks out any exit it can find, and when warm heated air is drawn out of your home, cold outside air is drawn in to make up for it. The fireplace is like a giant straw sucking the heated air from your house. That is why it is important to always keep the damper closed and the doors shut (if you have them) whenever the fireplace is not in use. * An easy, low-cost solution to this problem is to add a fireplace draftstopper. A fireplace draftstopper is an inflatable pillow that seals the damper, eliminating any air leaks. The pillow is removed whenever the fireplace is used, then reinserted after. -<>- >'Go Green' Hints: Save money AND energy with a programmable thermostat. A programmable thermostat can help you save 10-20 percent on your energy bill year round. Program your heater to come on right before you wake up, and cool down again right before you go to bed. I like to keep my house around 67 during the day and 60 at night. I sleep better when it's cooler. And if nobody is home during the day you can even program your thermostat to cool down for the 8 or 9 hours when you're at work. How much will it save you? You can save 1% off your heating bill for every degree you lower your thermostat over an 8 hour period. Many people can save enough money with their first month's use to pay for the thermostat. Cost: $20 and up. Savings: 10-20% off your monthly energy bill. -<>- Most people don't realize that even when in use, modern fireplaces are not effective heat sources and the reality is, they suck air from your home. You actually LOSE heat when you run your fire place unless you have fireplace doors that you keep closed (basically going just for the ambience) or you can close off that room and minimize the flue draft. If you really want your fireplace to work for you, consider fireplace inserts, inset stoves and that sort of thing. If all you want is the ambience, try placing 10 or 12 candles inside your fireplace and lighting them. You still get the soft, flickering glow of a live flame, but you can leave the damper closed and the glass doors mostly shut. Without a huge fire sucking warm air OUT of the room you can minimize the heat loss. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Justice With Judge Jeanine 10/20/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGI2gHtuma4 Watters' World 10/19/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3lnkLX754E The Greg Gutfeld Show FULL 10/19/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EISrnJ8wno Trump holds a huge campaign rally in Dallas, Texas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k01bC4zhMNM Trump Visit Brings the World to New Louis Vuitton Workshop in Johnson County -The Dallas Morning News “French luxury brand Louis Vuitton put Johnson County [Texas] on the map Thursday as the world followed President Donald Trump to the ribbon-cutting of the company’s new $50 million leather workshop,” Maria Halkias writes. “Louis Vuitton signed the president’s ‘pledge to America’s workers’ earlier this month,” which so far has generated more than 14 million new job and training opportunities for America’s great labor force. https://tinyurl.com/y2fn3gax Trump Says Turkey-Syria Ceasefire Is On Again After Friday Morning Shelling https://tinyurl.com/y28gfsck Mike Pence: Turkey Agrees to Five-Day Cease-Fire to Withdraw Kurdish Fighters -The Washington Times https://tinyurl.com/y4x4c3kq Quid Pro Nothing: Trump Accusers Don’t Care About the Facts -New York Post https://tinyurl.com/y5zsgskz Fun Times In Beijing’: Hunter Biden Received $700,000 From Company That Held Stake In His Chinese Business Interest https://tinyurl.com/y3mndqex Westwing News: The Pelosi-Schiff Impeachment Farce Has No Respect for Due Process https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Here's a story fit for Halloween. An Iowa meat processing business is apologizing to a neighboring family after a shared drainage system caused their basement to flood with animal blood. The Lestina family of Bagley said they have never had an issue with Dahl's Custom Meat Locker, located next door, until recently, when their basement filled with blood, fat and bones from slaughtered animals. Kaitlin Dahl, who became co-owner of Dahl's Custom Meat Locker in April, said the slaughterhouse has been following the procedures set out by the previous owner, who operated the facility for more than 10 years. "We didn't change a thing from the previous owner," Dahl said. "Everything was signed off on and was up to regulations so we didn't think there were any issues." She said workers and officials had no idea the waste material flushed from their slaughter room would end up backed up in their neighbors' basement. "We're taking responsibility for it. It wasn't our fault, we didn't intentionally put the blood down there. We didn't want this to happen. We feel for them. I'd be just as mad as they are, in their shoes," she told local news. Dahl said the company is planning to help the family with clean-up. The Iowa Department of Natural Resources is investigating the incident and is working with the Dahls to prevent future incidents. I think the moral of the story here is; don't live next door to a slaughter house. -<>- This is what adoption story nightmares are made of. An Indiana couple accused of abandoning their adopted daughter and moving to Canada has pleaded not guilty to child neglect charges. They say the 8-year-old girl, who is from Ukraine, tried to kill them, and that is the least bizarre claim they made. Michael and Kristine Barnett claim the 8-year-old daughter they adopted is actually an adult with a rare form of dwarfism. In an interview Michael said the girl, Natalia, tried to hurt him and Kristine and kill them multiple times. He said doctors told them the girl is a "sociopath" and a "con artist." Michael said Natalia would do things like place clear thumbtacks on the stairs face up so they would step on them. He claimed the girl also tried to poison Kristine by putting Pine-Sol in her coffee mug and then tried to push her into an electric fence. The couple divorced in 2014, four years after adopting the girl. A doctor examined the girl in 2010 and deemed her 8 years old. The couple had the girl's age changed to 22 before leaving for Canada. The girl, who's now either 16 or 30 years old, has not responded to media requests for comment. *--- Fish Dream Led Woman to slit husband's throat ---* An Ohio woman claimed that a dream about "filleting a fish" led to her slit her husband's throat while he slept at their home. Judy Jones was charged with attempted murder and aggravated assault after she allegedly nearly killed her husband by cutting his throat from ear-to-ear. It's believed that the husband would have died if Jones' 16- year-old daughter had not called 911 immediately and summoned emergency help. The couple's daughter reportedly told investigators that her mother had been planning the covert attack for about a year. "He's got stitches from almost (ear to ear) so we just have to wait for it to go through the court system," Abdalla said. [Apparently the daughter didn't think the information about his impending assassination was important enough to share with her father. Thanks sweetie.] *--- Identical twin babies delivered by twin nurses ---* A pair of identical twins were given an appropriate welcome into the world when their delivery team included a pair of identical twin nurses at a Georgia hospital. Tori Howard, 26, an NICU nurse, and twin sister Tara Drinkard were both on the delivery team at Piedmont Athens Regional Medical Center in Athens when Addison and Emma Williams were born via C-section. The hospital said the delivery marked the first time the twin nurses had worked in the delivery room together, although they have both assisted in multiple births. "I was excited to go to a delivery with my sister but it didn't really cross my mind -- we're twins and they're twins," Howard reported. Parents Brannan and Rebecca Williams said they were excited their twin girls were ushered into the world by twin nurses. "[Tara and Tori] have become our friends," Brannan Williams said. "I look forward to letting the girls know about this one day, and hopefully they'll get to meet them and keep carrying this thing on." *--- Nobody's That Happy ---* When a person is really happy they do odd things, like be nice to other people, or skip. That's why you will frequently see little kids skipping, because they're happy for no reason. That's also why you virtually never see anyone over the age of, say, 11 skipping. Except for this guy. An Idaho man with more than 100 Guinness World Records to his name captured his latest title by finishing a half-marathon in 2 hours, 13 minutes and 41.8 seconds -- while skipping. David Rush, whose previous records include the world's longest tortilla throw, said he skipped a total 141 miles while training for the record. Rush, whose Guinness record attempts are aimed at promoting STEM education, took his skipping skills to Sunday's City of Trees Half Marathon in Boise. The record-breaker completed his 13.1-mile skipping session with a time of 2 hours, 13 minutes and 41.8 seconds, beating the previous record of 2 hours, 27 minutes and 1 second. *--- 100-year-old Doll Swears at Ghost Hunters ---* Paranormal investigators in the UK discovered something particularly unusual in the Haunted Objects Museum in South Yorkshire. Apparently this museum is in possession of a possessed doll. The doll named Scarlet was donated to the museum a year ago and in that time has been quite chatty. The investigators attempted to record it and were not disappointed. Using special digital recorders during the interview, the museum's curator, Linzi Sheeran, asked the doll: "Is that your real name?" To which a voice clearly replied: "You're f%ed." Linzi says Scarlet loves to blurt swear words. When the doll was asked: "Who are you more scared of?" It sounds like Scarlet replies: "Linzi." The doll also appears to love attention. As the investigators were preparing to leave doors started slamming and their equipment went haywire. "It was like she was throwing a supernatural tantrum." ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: / \__ /^ ^\ ( @\___ / 0 0 \ / O V\ Y /V / (_____/ / - \ /_____/ U / | from V__) || Ruth Ginsberg >Cross-eyed Dog A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "Why?? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." -<>- >Making A Car Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself... "so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth..." "Holy Cow," interrupted his friend, "What did he end up with?" And Fred replied, "Two years." -<>- >Q and A Quickies: | m1a | | / | \ \ | / . --\|/-- , '--|___|--' ,--|___|--, ' /\o o/\ ` + + + ` ' Q: What has eight legs and goes up and down? A: A spider in an elevator! Q: Why did the Sheriff use a ruler when he questioned the witness? A: He wanted to get the story straight. Q: Why did the kid start a gardening service? A: He wanted to rake in some cash. Q: What do they teach in witching school? A: Spelling. .--. .--. | = o\ | = o\ \= =_/ \= =_/ )= \____ )= \____ ; = _|__-\ ; = _|__-\ |= ----.\ |= ----.\ ('.==| ('.==| / \=\=\ / \=\=\ _.' /=/\=\_ _.' /=/\=\_ _jgs_..-' /__) \__)__..-' /__) \__) Q: Why was the mummy so tense? A: Because he was all wound up. Q: What is a Skeleton's favorite song. A: Bad to the Bone. Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A: You suck! _..._ .' '. ; __ __ ; |/ \ / \| |\| -- ' -- |/| |(| \o| |o/ |)| _\| > |/_ .-' | ,.___., | '-. \ ; V'-'V ; / `\ \ / /` `\ '-...-' /` `\ / \ /` jgs `\\_//` Q: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A: He heard it had great circulation. Q. What did the ghost put in his coffee? A: Scream and sugar! Q: Where did the goblin throw the football? A: Over the ghoul line. Q: How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A: Every night he turns into a bat. __ __ .-' "." '-. .' ___,___ '. ;__.-; | | | ;-.__; | \ | | | | | / | \ \/`"`"`"`"`\/ / \_.-,-,-,-,-._/ \`-:_|_|_:-'/ jgs '. .' `'---'` Q: How does a girl vampire flirt? A: She bats her eyes. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___ ___ _____/___\_____ __|___|__ """"("-_-")"""" ( o_o ) ~ /\_)=o~/ _\~-~/_ _ _~ / /\\\///\ ~ / \/|\/ \/\(|_| \__|\\//\ \ ~ / |. .|\_/ __________|//\\/_/___~______\_\_____|_____ _______ |_|) _______ \_____/ \_____/ jro Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us." The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," he called back, "two pints." -<>- It was time for the final and the student depending upon getting at least one right answer on the chemistry test. The question was "If H2O is water, what is H2O4?" This was a quick question for most, but it took the student some thinking time. Finally, he wrote down his answer: For drinking, washing, and cleaning. -<>- Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is. "Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home." "What kind of question?" asked Tom. "My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said, 'Of course I DO....'" -<>- I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" -<>- On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read "No Stoping." Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster's dictionary, he noted that stoping means: "Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground." "Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed." Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose." -<>- While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home- schooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, "No, I also work... but out of our home." Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. "He was born at home," I answered. The man looked at me and said, "You don't get out much, do you?" ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ///"\ |6 6| \ - / .@@@. __) (__ @6 6@/ \./ \ @ = @ : : : \ _) (_'| : |) ) /' \./ '\ : |_/ / /\ _ /\ \=o==|) \ \ ) (/ /%|%%' '7/ \7%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | | %%|%% |_.._| /_|_\ pjb A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up goes the speed to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. The speed is now 65 mph. "And!" he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete flyover. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Is there anything you want?" The wife at last replies -- in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says. "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 80 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." -<>- As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's." -<>- _...._ .'.o' o.'. /o o .o' o'\ |'.o 'o. o'.o| |o. o' o 'o .| \ o .o.'o'./ '._o__o_.' \ / || || || || || jgs || \/ >Life A professor stood before his Philosophy 101 class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous - - yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - - your faith, your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions - - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Pray often, Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the golf balls first - - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Wisdom Of Peanuts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wisdomofpeanuts.html Manly Man Things!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/manlyman.html USA Of Crazy Laws!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html Life's Little Oops 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html Humor In Politics 17!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics17.html Celebrity Private Jets!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrityjets.html Trump And The Queen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpasqueen.html Proud Of Our Troops 8!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops8.html Our Valuable ANCHOR!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html Thinkers And Their Desks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html Obama After White House!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamaafterwhitehouse.html Secrets Of The Secret Service!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/secrets.html In The Pink!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inthepink.html IRONIC Isn't It!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony.html Bible: Haunting http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/haunting.html There's Something About Mona!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monalisa.html Fall And Halloween Index Page!- https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- Haunted Houses in your area, so make sure you check some of them out. This website gives you listings of every major haunted house there is in any city/town you are looking in. - Along with a events and escapes rooms. https://www.hauntworld.com/ This website has everything you need to scare anyone with real Halloween ghost stories. Here are user submitted experiences. They currently have 17469 published ghost experiences! Even Famous Hauntings! http://www.yourghoststories.com/real-ghost-stories.php What is That Big Orange Spider? https://infinitespider.com/big-orange-spider/ -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) If you want to see something really cool check out the amazing card juggling skills from Dan and Dave Buck. These twins are masters of dexterity and I'm sure many a magician would like to have their skills when it comes to manipulating cards. It really is incredible how a simple deck of 52 cards can be turned into a skill and art form. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2aRACTmDS8 If you're going to sit down at a card table and play for money with Richard Turner be prepared to lose every dollar you have. In this demonstration to Penn & Teller he manages to completely baffle them with how he is able to deal cards and control the outcome. It's even more amazing when you realize he is blind and is doing this all through his fingers and sense of touch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwFIJyWKs1k --- ...Astounding! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) Chubby Checker - Let's Twist Again (lyrics) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh8eb_ACLl8 Rock'n Roll Dance Show Medley # RD35 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq--8HXYjnc --- ...What Fun! Thanks Karen! -<>- Pilot's view: Airbus A380 approach and landing at San Francisco. Open it to full screen. You will feel like you are in the cockpit. You pilots and ex pilots will love it. Wait for it... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfHl87p7X5o --- ...Wow! Most Cool! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) From Clay To Mosaics https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/oEc-ESRjntg?rel=0&autoplay=1 --- ...A wonderful talent! Thanks Geniann! A Fantastic Expedition https://player.vimeo.com/video/41225777?badge=0 --- ...Wow! Beautiful! Thanks Geniann! I live next door to a mosque. I have a Husky. He is gentle and does not bite, but he does piss off the Imam next door. Click link below to find out why: https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vogp-n1-JPA --- ...LMAO! Still funny! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off." -Conan O'Brien "Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch." -James Corden "New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don't think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it." -Seth Meyers "According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien "Amazon just announced that teens can now shop on their parents' accounts, but the order will only go through if Mom and Dad approve it. Or if they click the button that says, 'Mom and Dad approve it.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally a medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day." -Seth Meyers "A new study finds that parents DO actually have a favorite child. The survey also finds if you have to ask - it ain't you." -Jimmy Fallon "A man who ordered a television off of Amazon was shocked because Amazon instead sent him a rifle. Which means some- where a hunter is trying to kill a deer by making it watch 'Real Housewives.'" -Conan O'Brien "I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************