Food Spoilage Test And More.... :) Shangy!
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
. `:
: : .
__.'_ .' :
_.--' `-._.'
.-'.. .. `.
: .-. .--.`. :
: : : : : :
: :`;; :`; ; :
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. : '._ :' ;
:: : .-`-.; . .'
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: : `-.__ ._ _.'
: ; : ;```
: `. _.-.' . ``-._
: `.-' : : `-.
: _.: ` `-._ `,
`._.-' ; `.`-. ;_, _.,
: `.: ;' ;-' ;
: ``.___.' :
: ;_..--'
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: : :
jgs :-:__;
: : :
.-~~~--..__: : :___..---..
.'.' : `,
:,' : `; ;
`: _.'`._ :,'
`~~~'----'' `'-.____....'
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
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ejm )\ (
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*~* Our Hearts And Prayers Go Out To Those Affected By The Terror
Attacks In London. May God Hold You Close And Bless You Through
These Horrific Times In The name Of Jesus Christ.
>From GAA - Tomi Lahren
Over the weekend, London was the victim of yet another attack by
radical Islamic terrorists.
President Trump is right, "We must stop being politically correct
and get down to business of security for our people. If we don't
get smart it will only get worse."
Regardless of religion, race, or political affiliation, I ask you
to join me by adding your name to pray for London and stand with
President Trump.
http://tinyurl.com/y9jupmly
-<>-
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This super scorching hot new page is from our friend Linda.
It is for those who are into architecture and design or
just like seeing people being innovative with nature. Check
this one out here...
vv
vvv^^^^vvvvv
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vvvvvvvvvvv^^^^^^^^^^^^^vvvvv^^^vvvvv
vvvvvvv^^^^^^^^^vvv^^^^^^^vvvvvvvvvvv^^^vvv
vvvv^^^^^^vvvvv^^^^^^^vv^^^^^^^vvvv^^^vvvvvv
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unknown
World's Best Treehouses
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses2.html
---
...Pretty Awesome! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
|
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>-->We received an update for our page...
Ricochet The Surf Dog
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochet.html
If you haven't viewed the video on this page for a while,
I suggest you do - so heartwarming, left me in tears Again!
Ricochet's owner Judy Fridono sent us this update:
SAN DIEGO HONDA DEALERS DONATES BRAND NEW 2017 CR-V TO
SURF DOG RICOCHET’S WAVES OF EMPOWERMENT PROGRAM
The program provides canine assisted surfing, paddling, therapy and
play to veterans with PTSD and kids with special needs… taking them
from the battleground to the playground!
Click here to watch Ricochet’s “Always Sunny Story.”
https://sdhondadealers.com/surfdog/
So wonderful to get this news! I am most thankful to Judy for
sharing this awesome news with us! I praise God for her, Ricochet
and their work! May God Bless Them Abundantly!
Here's her links:
To watch Ricochet’s “Always Sunny Story”, as well as behind the
scenes footage and photos, go to
https://sdhondadealers.com/surfdog/
For more information, or to get involved with Ricochet’s Waves
of Empowerment program, go to
http://www.surfdogricochet.com/waves-of-empowerment.html
Note: Additional photos and video available upon request.
Contact: Judy Fridono at 707-228-0679 or pawinspired@aol.com.
Or check out these links…
Ricochet’s website http://www.surfdogricochet.com
Ricochet’s Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/SurfDogRicochet/
Ricochet’s Instagram http://instagram.com/surfdogricochet/
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
___
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\\ | _____`-' | -| |.''.|| | (o) | || ||//
\\.-' | '-.| - | |____|| \ / || ||/
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LGB `. / | \ .' ' / | \ '
` . _ _|_ _ .' ' . | . '
The owner of a priceless antiques collection allowed a museum to
exhibit his treasures. The movers packed the vases while the
collector hovered over them. "Do be careful," he cautioned one
burly mover. "That vase is nearly two thousand years old."
"Don't worry," the guy replied. "I'll treat it like it was brand
new."
-<>-
___________,_____
| | # |=====|
| | (_) |=====|
|> _ |_____|=====|
| [_] | | |
| |_____|=====|
| | |_____|
| ] |_____| |
| |_____|=====|
| | ___ |_____|
|> |[___]| |
| |[___]|=====|
|_____|=====|_____|
jgs [###########]
>Food Spoilage Test
Finally, a way to know what to pitch and what to save!
THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from
what you cooked for yourself last night).
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg
is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is
spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese
is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular
cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more
spoiled than it is already so just cut off the green parts. Cheddar
cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize
you've never purchased that kind.
MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is
spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting
problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or
wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away
perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps
you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-
block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable
"spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good
indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical
laboratory experiment.
FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT
It never spoils.
CEREAL
It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be
discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.
LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the
vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it
turns liquid.
CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball
should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy
undergrowth and are good for hoop-ball trash practice when
they are squeezable.
CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor,
it has gone bad.
EMPTY CONTAINERS
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick,
but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.
UNMARKED ITEMS
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the
Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware
containers should not burp when you open them.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a
hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge
this.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
June 5 is World Environment Day
June 6 is National Gardening Exercise Day and National Yo-Yo Day
June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
June 8 is Best Friends Day and Name Your Poison Day
June 9 is Donald Duck Day and National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day
June 10 is Iced Tea Day
June 11 is National Corn on the Cob Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
>Extra Money
During lunch, an ad for a lending institution came on the television
set in our employees' lounge. As the commercial extolled the
pleasures of extra money, I remarked that there was no such thing as
"extra" money.
"Yes, there is," my co-worker retorted. "It's what you have right
before your car breaks down."
-<>-
>Picnic
My brother, Tony, agreed to take his young nephews to a neighborhood
picnic. A few hours later, just as my father was wondering how Tony
was managing, my mother walked into the room brandishing her cell
phone, laughing.
Dad took it from her and read aloud the text message she had just
received: "Marshmallows burned, ketchup in hair, kids tossing
newspapers on bonfire, smoke all over. Great party. Kids happy.
Never again. Am smarter. Much smarter."
-<>-
>Bottom of the Class
"I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,"
said the father to his son.
"Don't worry Dad," he replied. "They still teach the same thing at
both ends."
-<>-
>Missing
My two-year cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our
lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest
and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew
playing calmly in the woods.
"Listen to me, Matthew," his mother said sharply. "From now on when
you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?"
Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay. Disney
World."
-<>-
>The Caddy
Jim was 26 over par by the eighth hole, had landed a fleet of golf
balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting
his way out of the rough, when his caddy coughed during a 12-inch
putt.
Jim exploded. "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he
screamed.
"I doubt it," replied the caddy. "That would be too much of a
coincidence."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
[\
.----' `-----.
//^^^^;;^^^^^^`\
_______//_____||_____()_\________
/826 : : ___ `\
|> ____; ; |/\><| ____ _<)
{____/ \_________________/ \____}
\ '' / \ '' /
jgs '--' '--'
>SMILES
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He
gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You’re
just like Frank."
Passenger: “Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened
like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you
should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cabbie: "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order
and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me.
I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman
could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if
she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes
highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.
-------
An old Native Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a
ceremonial pipe and eyeing two Government officials sent to interview
him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one Official, "You have observed the
white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological
advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the Government officials for over a minute and
then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Natives were
running it" "No taxes." "No debt." "Plenty buffalo." "Plenty beaver."
"Women did all the work." "Medicine man free." "Indian man spent all
day hunting and fishing." "All night making love."
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough
to think he could improve system like that."
----------
A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant
for an inflatable doll.
"Would you like male or female?"
"Female, please."
"Would you like Black, or White?"
"White, please."
"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"
This question confused the man . . . and he replied, "What has the
religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"
----------
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing
every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,
feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs
she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife
to stand, he embraced and kissed her, long and passionately, as
her husband watched –-with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and
quietly sat down in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and declared, "This is what
your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I fish
on Fridays."
----------
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season
decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous
trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You
know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here."
"I'm sorry, but you’ll have to wait your turn, sir,,” replied the
waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a
time."
----------
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses
power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with
all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers
in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw
out a pistol.
"Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle.
"More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot
regains control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get
into a jeep and drive off.
Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying.
They ask him why he’s crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the
head!"
They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder.
Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!"
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk w
ho's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what’s so funny?"
The boy replies, "I sneezed and a house blew up!"
-------
Three sons of a Jewish Mother left their homeland, went abroad and
prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their
old mother.
AVRAHAM, the first, said: "I built a big house for our mother."
MOISHE, the second, said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
DAVID, the youngest, said: "You remember how our mother enjoys
reading the good book. Now she can't see very well. I sent her a
remarkable rare priceless parrot that recites the whole book in
yiddish -- Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and he
does it perfectly."
Soon thereafter, a letter of thanks came from their mother.
"AVRAHAM", she said, the house you built is so huge. I can live
only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house".
"MOISHE", she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the
time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is
always complaining -- he's a pain in the tuchas".
"But DAVID", she said, "THE CHICKEN WAS DELICIOUS!"
----------
A blonde calls up her best friend (a brunette) one day because she
is very upset.
"I can't get this jigsaw puzzle put together, and I've been trying
for weeks," she cries. "Could you please come over and help me
before I go crazy?"
"What kind of puzzle is it?" asks the brunette.
The blonde says, "Well, there is a rooster on the box, but there are
so many pieces, and it's so confusing. I just don't know where to
start!"
Her friend is the compassionate sort and says, "I'll be right over."
So off to the blonde's house she goes. When she gets there, she
takes one look at the table and turns to her friend and says: "Put
the Corn Flakes back in the box."
----------
Jim and Roger were patients in a Mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly
jumped in to the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
Roger promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and
pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Rogers
heroic act he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the
hospital, considered him to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Roger the news he said, "Roger, I have good
news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because
since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient,
I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the
patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the
bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Roger replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
----------
>JEWISH MOTHERS
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the
biggest smile you can give us?"
COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea
how hard it is to get that junk off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your
jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER
"Again with the hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the
other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you
can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and get to bed!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight
is past your curfew."
And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER
"But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your
hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER
"That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the
last forty years."
-------
,'-',
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Storm
>You know you are an EXTREME Redneck When...
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table
in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same
in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a
different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so
clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys,
watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are
'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a
freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's
a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife
drunk.
---
...TeeHee - LOL!! Good Classic ones too! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Fran :)
\|/
@ @
+---------------- oO-(_)-Oo --------------------+ -D B Prell-
>To Children Of A “Silent” Generation
Born in the 1930's and early 40's, we exist as a very special age
cohort. We are Children Of A “Silent” Generation.
We are the smallest number of children born since the early 1900's.
We are the "last ones."
We are the last generation, climbing out of the depression, who can
remember the winds of war. And the impact of a world at war which
rattled the structure of our daily lives for years.
We are the last to remember ration books for everything from gas to
sugar to shoes to stoves.
We saved tin foil and scrap iron. We poured fat into tin cans.
We hand mixed 'white stuff' with 'yellow stuff' to make fake butter.
We saw cars up on blocks because tires weren't available.
We can remember milk being delivered to our house early in the
morning and placed in the "milk box" on the porch. [A friend's
mother delivered milk in a horse drawn cart.] We sometimes fed the
horse, and our dog, Spot, a Fox Terrier, would greet the milkman
when he made our delivery, then he would ride in Glenn's truck til
the end of his route, when Glenn would drive by the house and let
Spot off the truck just in time to greet us coming home from
elementary school.
Many of us are the last to hear Roosevelt 's radio assurances and
to see gold stars in the front windows of our grieving neighbors.
Many of us can also remember the parades on August 15, 1945; VJ Day.
We saw the 'boys' home from the war, build their little houses,
pouring the cellar, tar papering it over and living there until they
could afford the time and money to build it out.
We are the last generation who spent much of our childhood without
television; instead we imagined what we heard on the radio.
As we all like to brag, with no TV, we spent our childhood "playing
outside until the street lights came on."
We did play outside and we did play on our own.
To play in the water, we turned the hose or the fire hydrants on and
ran through the spray.
The lack of television in our early years meant, for most of us, that
we had little real understanding of what the world was like.
Our Saturday afternoons, if at the movies, gave us newsreels of the
war sandwiched in between westerns and cartoons.
Telephones were one to a house, often shared and hung on the wall.
Computers were called calculators, they only added and were hand
cranked; typewriters were driven by pounding fingers, throwing the
carriage, and changing the ribbon.
The 'internet' and 'GOOGLE' were words that didn't exist.
Newspapers and magazines were written for adults and the news was
broadcast on our table radio in the evening by H.V Kaltenborne,
Gabriel Heatter, and Walter Winchel.
We are the last group who had to find out for ourselves.
As we grew up, the country was exploding with growth.
The G.I. Bill gave returning veterans the means to get an education
and spurred colleges to grow.
VA loans fanned a housing boom.
Pent up demand coupled with new installment payment plans put
factories to work.
New highways would bring jobs and mobility.
The veterans joined civic clubs and became active in politics.
In the late 40's and early 50's the country seemed to lie in the
embrace of brisk but quiet order as it gave birth to its new middle
class (which became known as 'Baby Boomers').
The radio network expanded from 3 stations to thousands of stations.
The telephone started to become a common method of communications
and "Faxes" sent hard copy around the world.
Our parents were suddenly free from the confines of the depression
and the war and they threw themselves into exploring opportunities
they had never imagined.
We weren't neglected but we weren't today's all-consuming family
focus.
They were glad we played by ourselves 'until the street lights came
on.'
They were busy discovering the post war world.
Most of us had no life plan, but with the unexpected virtue of
ignorance and an economic rising tide we simply stepped into the
world and started to find out what the world was about.
We entered a world of overflowing plenty and opportunity; a world
where we were welcomed.
Based on our naive belief that there was more where this came from,
we shaped life as we went.
We enjoyed a luxury; we felt secure in our future. Of course, just
as today, not all Americans shared in this experience.
Depression poverty was deep rooted.
Polio was still a crippler.
The Korean War was a dark presage in the early 50s and by mid-decade
school children were ducking under desks.
Russia built the "Iron Curtain" and China became Red China .
Eisenhower sent the first 'advisers' to Vietnam, and years later, we
went to war there.
Castro set up camp in Cuba and Khrushchev came to power.
We are the last generation to experience an interlude when there were
no existential threats to our homeland.
We came of age in the 40s and 50s. The war was over and the cold war,
terrorism, technological upheaval, "global warming", and perpetual
economic insecurity had yet to haunt life with incessant unease.
Only our generation experienced both a time of apocalyptic war and a
time when our world was secure and full of bright promise and plenty.
We have lived through both.
We grew up at the best possible time, a time when the world was
getting better, not worse.
We are the Silent Generation - "The Last Ones".
More than 99.9% of us are either retired or deceased, and feel
privileged to have "lived in the best of times!"
In God We Trust
---
...Indeed! Thanks Fran!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
In a few days, our president is having his 71st birthday.
This is Donald J. Trump’s first birthday as president. That’s
why we want to surprise him with a card signed by 100,000 of
his supporters! Will you sign it and leave him a note?
http://tinyurl.com/ycjkygvs
From Rand Paul on Paris Accord Withdrawl
https://t.e2ma.net/message/0ibo1/sws8s2
BUSTED: Ted Cruz Blasts Elon Musk for Flying Private Jet While
Lecturing Trump on Climate Change
http://tinyurl.com/ydh4jvfs
BREAKING: Democrat Senator Breaks Liberal Ranks And Supports Trump
On Leaving Paris Agreement [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/y8gubgyd
No surprise - The TWO FACED Hypocrisy Of Activists Who TRASHED
Paris Climate Deal Until Trump Dumped It
http://tinyurl.com/y8dnytg5
BREAKING: Supreme Court Expedites Trump’s Petition on Executive
Order Case
http://tinyurl.com/y9jk3thu
NUTJOB: Bette Midler declares ‘men and religion worthless’ in wake
of London attack
http://tinyurl.com/y8zdevjo
IN CONTRAST To Above: Reba McEntire’s POWERFUL New Song Will
DESTROY Every Single Trump-Hater In America [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/y74qs3qy
More Hollywood Filth: Jim Carrey is as Gross as Kathy Griffin -
Advises her to Double Down And Hold Up Trump’s ‘Severed Leg’
http://tinyurl.com/yd8ysz8j
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING: Violent LEFTIST Antifa Protesters Have
DYNAMITE, Brass Knuckles, Knives and Sticks Confiscated By
Portland Police
http://tinyurl.com/ycshrsno
Time We Fight Back
http://tinyurl.com/y8onthrv
Sign our petition and demand fairness in corporate advertising and
ask your friends to do the same.
http://tinyurl.com/y87gbw6f
BREAKING: Google Could Face A $9 Billion Fine For Rigging Search
Results
http://tinyurl.com/y8g3odcj
---
...As a programmer, I know it is easy to 'rig' programs to
prioritize whatever they want them to. That also means they could
easily rig the ads and other revenue generating aspects to fit
their own personal agenda - which just happens to be left leaning
like most of silicone valley and Hollywood is. Why I think I am
so much in need of donations. My ad revenue is way down.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Authorities in Florida are asking for the public's help
finding a large $25,000 swan sculpture stolen by a naked
man. The Polk County Sheriff's Office said surveillance
cameras at Lakeland Cold Storage were recording when a
naked man carrying a 5-gallon bucket squeezed through a
gap in the fence.
"Do you call that buck naked, or bucket naked?" the
sheriff's office quipped in a Facebook post. A Ford pickup
truck was seen minutes later driving away with the giant
black and white swan sculpture in the back.
The pickup truck, which was stolen, was later recovered
"sans swan" and the man in the security camera footage
was arrested Tuesday, but he's been mum as to the swan's
location.
"So, we have a naked man, a bucket, and a very expensive
and very large stolen swan. We know who the man is, and
we have the truck back. But have you seen the missing
swan? Call us," the sheriff's office said.
*- Who Would Have Thought? Candy Contains Sugar -*
A woman filed a class action lawsuit against Jelly Belly
because she did not know their Sport Beans jellies contained
sugar. Jessica Gomez of California filed the lawsuit against
the candy maker, claiming that she had no idea that their
Sport Beans contained sugar. The Sport Beans are marketed
as an exercise supplement. On the Jelly Belly company's
website, the Sport Beans are advertised as supplements that
is "scientifically formulated to maximize sports
performance." The company wrote that the jellies are
"clinically proven to maximize sports performance as each
bean is loaded with carbs for fuel, electrolytes to help
maintain fluid balance and vitamins to optimize energy
release." Gomez said that company used "fancy phrasing" such
as "evaporated cane juice," which is a form of sugar, on the
packaging, tricking her into believing that the product was
sugar-free. Jelly Belly is trying to get the lawsuit
dismissed. They claim That "Gomez could not have seen the
words 'evaporated cane juice' without also seeing the
product's sugar content on its Nutrition Facts panel."
*-------- Spite; It's the American Way --------*
A disgruntled former 7-Eleven franchisee in Massachusetts
opened a competing 6-Twelve business after losing his store.
Abu Musa opened up the 6-Twelve store across the street from
the 7-Eleven he previously operated in South Boston after
feuding with the convenience store company over its business
practices. His conflict with 7-Eleven began when he said the
company forced him to offer hot food such as taquitos and
hot dogs, which customers rarely bought. He tried to resist
and his relationship with the company ultimately came to an
end in 2014 when 7-Eleven accused Musa of failing to ring in
purchases and voiding others. The company attempted to
revoke his franchise and both sides eventually reached a
settlement outside of court. Musa then opened the 6-Twelve
store across the street from his old 7-Eleven location with
the intention of using his knowledge of the company to act
as a direct competitor. "My goal is to get them to close,"
he said. "I know the price of everything in that store so I
sell the same things cheaper." Some of Musa's old customers
supported him in his endeavor. "I come here because of him,"
customer Dave Duffley said. "He greets everyone with a
smile, and this feels like an American success story.
Corporate pushed him out, so he went right across the street
and opened his own shop. What's not to love?"
*----- Talk About Pissing Away Your Money -----*
Two burglars who tried to steal cash from a bank ATM,
accidentally set their cash on fire, according to police in
Washington. The Everett Fire Department responded to the
Coastal Community Bank on the report of a fire alarm. A fire
had started inside the business when someone used a cutting
tool to access the ATM. Property damage has been estimated
at over $35,000 for the burned cash, broken ATM and building
repairs. Detectives identified the two suspects as Eli Steen
and Jason Kovar. Video surveillance shows that after setting
the cash on fire by using a blowtorch, one of the men
attempted to extinguish the flames by urinating on the money.
However, his efforts did not pay off, and they fled from the
scene. Crime Stoppers is offering a $1,000 reward and Coastal
Community Bank is offering $5,000 for information leading to
the arrest and prosecution of the suspects.
*---------- Hairspray, the Explosive ----------*
A Washington state woman returned to her car after work to
discover a can of hairspray had exploded and embedded itself
in her windshield. Karmen Ayres said she walked out of work
in Vancouver and immediately noticed her windshield was
severely cracked and there was an object embedded in it. "At
first I looked up, because I thought maybe something fell,"
Ayres said. "But then I noticed it was from the inside out.
I was in shock and then I realized what it was. Sure enough,
it was my hairspray that exploded, and it was in the back
seat... it's a far distance to travel and with a lot of force
to break through the window." She said temperatures were in
the low 90s and that apparently caused the inside of her car
to reach levels the aerosol can couldn't tolerate. "It
launched like a rocket," she said. Ayres posted a photo of
the damage to Facebook. "TIP OF THE DAY: Don't leave your
hairspray unattended in your car on a hot and sunny day,"
she wrote.
---
...Also why it is dangerous to leave kids and pets in a car
in the summer - It gets way too hot!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_.-'`'-._
.-' _ '-.
`-.__ `\_.-'
| `-``\|
jgs `-.....-A
#
#
English professors love to catch the errors students make
in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to
catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin
College English department collected this list of mixed
metaphors and posted them on their web site:
"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket
on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a
knife slicing through butter."
-<>-
In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had
earned a law degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English
accent, he proudly proclaimed that he was now a "barrister."
My 13-year-old daughter wasn't impressed. "So," she said,
"he spent all that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and
now he works at Starbucks?"
-<>-
My wife is a very adventurous cook. "How does this sound?"
she called out from the kitchen. "Bonito, surimi, and
anchovies in a decadent, silky broth."
"Sounds delicious," I hollered back. "Is that what we're
having tonight?"
"No. I'm reading from this packet of cat food."
-<>-
Two buddies were getting dressed in the locker room after
a workout, when the first man saw something that give him
a bit of a shock.
"How long have you been wearing that bra?" the man asked
his friend.
The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the
glove compartment."
-<>-
Three elderly doctors have been friends for many years, and
one afternoon at the club they started talking about their
final arrangements.
The first, a dentist, says, "When I die, I think I'd like my
tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble."
"That's a very clever idea," says the cardiologist, "I'd
love my tombstone to be shaped like a heart in red marble."
The urologist is silent for a bit, then says, "I'm thinking
about having my ashes scattered."
-<>-
Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a
blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the
idea.
She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new
friends he'd meet, and so on.
When the first day came, Tommy eagerly went off and came
back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.
The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked,
"What for?" She told him it was time to get ready for
school.
"What?" he asked. "Again?"
-<>-
On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted
several historical points of interest. The children were
especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game
"Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships
the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to
look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt.
Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my
daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen
always die."
-<>-
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created every-
thing, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up
on the floor as though he were ill. She said, "Johnny what
is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in
my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife!"
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
,,,,,
\ e e\
C _\/ |\\,
)\_) \_ /
_/|/_ _//
,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \
/ \_/ / /
, | \_._,-"
( < _'
| \ \
', -',-~.-'
_/ ) |
|// | '
' ) |
| | |
._., - |.,_ //
_\-' )___|__|_ '-._
b'ger /____\__\
>I'm Not Old... I'm Mature!
Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount."
I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.
He said, "For you, Seniors, the coffee is free."
Understand---I'm not old---I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer---can't hear what they say.
My teeth are my own (I have the receipt.)
and my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature.
The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it grey...saying "blonde" is just right.
My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed.
Yet a kid yells, "Old duffer...get off of the road!"
My car has no scratches...not even a dent.
Still I get all that guff from a punk who's "Hell bent."
My friends all get older...much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines," not wrinkles...for sure,
But don't call me old...just call me mature.
The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take...your breath all away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.
But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure,
I'm not really old...I'm only mature.
-<>-
>A PARIDIGM:
'I'm the greatest batter in the world,' said the proud boy as he
tossed the ball into the air and swung his bat. He missed. Undaunted,
he threw the ball up again and said, 'I'm the greatest batter ever!'
He missed again. He looked at his ball then his bat. Once more he
tossed the ball up into the air, 'I'm the greatest batter who ever
lived.!' He swung hard and missed. 'Wow!'he exclaimed. 'And I'm an
even better pitcher!'
-<>-
.............
.... ....
.. ..
.. ..
. ___ ___ .
. / , \ / , \ .
. \___/ \___/ .
.. .
.. .
.. O .
. | | .
. \ / .
. \ / .
.. \______________/ ..
.. \_____\ \ \/ ..
.... | \ |....
...... | | |
Derek S. Tan \___/
>Short Takes
Sign on the desk of an airline executive in Chicago: 'Don't bother to
agree with me, I've already changed my mind.'
==============
I know it's going to be a good day when all the wheels on my shopping
cart turn the same way.
==============
Sign in a bank: 'Don't kiss our girls. They're tellers.'
=============
Husband to wife a they plan a budget in the current inflationary
times: 'Let's start with the basic necessities; food, clothing and
shelter. We have a choice of any two.
=============
Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the
dark. You know what you're doing, but nobody else does.
=============
The problem with communication in marriage is that every time the
husband has words with his wife, she has paragraphs with him.
=============
I was always taught to respect my elders. But it's getting harder and
harder to find one.
=============
A cocktail party is a gathering where sandwiches and friends are cut
into little pieces.
=============
Television will never replace the newspaper.
You can't wrap a fish in it.
=============
A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his office and says, "There's
a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. He says he's
invisible."
The psychiatrist responds, "O.K. Tell him I can't see him."
=============
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said,
"I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners
very well."
-<>-
>Bumper Snickers
*Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
*Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately, it kills all its students.
*Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
*When God calls 'Time', the game is over. Which exit will you take?
-<>-
>Who is "WE"?
In his book, "Stories for Sermons," Arthur Tonne, tells how a
famous organist was giving a recital in an eastern church. The
instrument was not supplied air electrically; it had to be pumped
by hand. A young boy was engaged to do this for the occasion.
Everything was going along fine until the lad put his head around
the side of the organ and whispered, "We are doing pretty good,
aren't we?"
"What do you mean by 'we'?" objected the organist. A few minutes
later, in the midst of a beautiful strain, the organ suddenly
stopped giving out any music. Desperately the organist tried all
the stops. No use.
Then again he saw the head of the boy bob around the corner, a
broad smile on his face. He said, "Now do you know who I mean by
'we'?"
-<>-
>Anniversary/Birthday Card
A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday-
anniversary card.' The clerk replied, 'We have birthday cards and we
have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?'
The man said, 'You don't understand. I need a card that covers both
events. You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's
thirty-fourth birthday.'
-<>-
>A Mental Stop For A Blonde
A blonde studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling
sessions with an ear muff over one ear.
After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about
it.
She replied, "It's for confidentiality."
"Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor.
"Yes, confidentiality," the blonde explained, "I've been told what
goes in one ear comes out the other and I don't want anyone else
knowing what my client says."
-<>-
_.._
.-" "-.
/ ,- -. \
: ' o o ` ;
; . , :
: :-.__.-: ;
\ :_: :_: /
`-._ _.-' bug
""
A-Hemmmmm! Groan..............
An Indian chief sends his son off to college. The son comes
home with an electrical engineering degree. The first thing
that the chief wants his son to do is to install electric
lights in the outhouse as there are too many people stumbling
around in the dark. The son installs the lights and is therefore
known as the first Indian to wire ahead for a reservation.
-<>-
,
`.-- .,-"" .
._,' . _,. `.
, / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-'
:: .; "-()-"`. \.-. /
doida ; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-"
.': : `----' "-"
'
>Blonde Moments!
Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the
casino. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she
would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait
for the other.
Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench.
She waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally
saw Patty coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins.
"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"
"Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for
hours."
Patty said: "You should have been with me... did I ever find
a good machine! It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it to you
... you can't lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win
four quarters!"
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Growing Old
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/growingold.html
Kilroy Was Here
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html
Look Who's Talking 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking5.html
90/10 Principle
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/giving.html
Blind Woman Sees
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blindsees.html
Buttons The Elk
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buttons.html
Living Tree Church
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treechurch.html
Dominic And Jobe
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobe.html
Cool Optical Illusions
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical.html
Adorable Wrinkly Puppies
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wrinklypuppies.html
Real Old West
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldwest.html
Book And Paper Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookpaperart.html
Breathtaking Photos
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/breathtaking.html
Indian Paper Sculpture Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/indianart.htm
Mountain Goats
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mountaingoats.html
Antique Automobiles
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/antiquecars.html
Fun With Seniors
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seniorfun.html
Humor With Cooking
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cookinghumor.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
Breathtaking wildlife footage pulled from the filmmaker’s vast
collection, made even more poignant when paired with Louis
Armstrong’s timeless lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auSo1MyWf8g&feature=player_embedded
"The Bear" is an unusually involving film about animals that will
give you a fresh perspective on their world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TjLCJKoot4U
The First 100 Days Of Two Panda Cubs
Mei Lun and Mei Huan are the first surviving pair of giant panda
twins ever born in the U.S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c30i79-FA3M&feature=player_embedded
---
...Love These! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"One of the winners of this year's Scripps National Spelling
Bee has an older brother who won the competition in 2014. Or
as their dad put it, 'I'm just going to throw these baseball
mitts away.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her
out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom,
they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
-Paula Poundstone
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar." -Drew Carey
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror--like
all the passengers in his car."
"People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge
people to park in spots that they have no ownership of.
Here's a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud. If
you find a parking space during the festival, it's a scam."
-Jimmy Kimmel
"A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia
are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should
help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers
"Today, Mark Zuckerberg - who dropped out of Harvard
University after his sophomore year - gave a commencement
speech to Harvard's graduating class. Zuckerberg began the
speech with, 'Hello, suckers.'" -Conan O'Brien
"A new study from Harvard says you can reduce the risk of a
potentially fatal heart condition by eating six bars of
chocolate a week. Yeah. It reduces the chance of a heart
attack because once you give up being in shape, you have way
less stress." -James Corden
"A new report recommends that couples who live together
should do chores together. And for some couples, everything
they do together is a chore." -Seth Meyers
"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many
things, and I have succeeded fairly well." --Robert Benchley
"Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we
need are ovations where the audience members all punch and
kick one another." --George Carlin
"There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn
about s#$ from their parents. My relationship with my father
nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can't
imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me
how to have s#$." --Bob Smith
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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FUN URLS
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
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-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
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