Freedom, Ransom And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Visual Anterior axis pole Anterior \\ | chamber \..|.. / Conjunctiva .:``\\'|'```/'. | ,:''..'"\"|""/'..`<-----Cornea ..,:',;'____\\| ____`;.`:... Iris----->;-~~~~..-\+--..~~~~-;./'~~`Ciliary body ,;'.:;;;==(Lens X `)=|;;;;. `; `\ Medial ,;'' ;'|'''| `:.. |\ ..;' |`````:. `;|, rectus->' Ciliary | ```+\\' | `:./' `:. .;',;' .;muscle | | \ Posterior :. :;.`: ,',' ;; Lens | \\ chamber ;; ;.` ` ;' ;: ligament| \ ;; ; ; ;: | \\ ;; ; ; ;: Vitreous | \ ;<-------Retina ; ;:. | \\ ;; ; `; `:. | \ ;';<------Choroid `; `:. Optic | \\ ;',' ; `; `:`. disk | \ ;';' <------Sclera `; `: :./ | \\Fovea,';' ;' `, `.;..,, | \| .'',' .;' `;. .:::: ```...|...'''\/'.:' ;' Dura,' .:::::`,,,,..|..,,,,''' ,;'' ; /:::::: ''|'' ..;'' /Optic:| ;,....|....,,;''' nerve:| ; ``+'' | Posterior pole -Catalyst- Finally off restrictions from my eye surgery! Three major eye surgeries in 7 months time has done the trick. It is awesome being able to see clear and bright images instead of gray and foggy ones! I Praise God and Thank Him and all of you for your prayers and support. :) -<>- ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB Our Friend Suzanne sent a Comment in for Tara's Pet Page I updated her page here with the comment: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pets/Taraspets.html --- ...Thank You Suzanne for your Comment for Tara. -<>- THE ELEPHANT The elephant's got ___.---.___ a long trunk, he uses to .' ( ) '. get a drink. I can think ) /)' '( ) of one more use for it. ',_( ';-;'\_,' To check his |-| /(feet)\ (") (( don't)) stink !Well I had a go! PjP Phil Thanks to Our Friend Leslie, we have an update to the Elephant Ditties. Be sure to check out this funny poem here... Elephant Ditties http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eleph.html --- ...I love it! Thanks Leslie! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Three Weddings A Jewish father, Moisha, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak... "Father, I am going to marry!" His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Nagila... "Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?" says the father. "What is her name?" "O'Brien" replies the son... "She's Catholic..." "Oy!" says the father.... "But are you happy?" "I'm happy," says the son.. "Ok...as long as you're happy.... my blessings to you both," replies Moisha. But the father is still counting on his remaining sons, Schlemiel and Chutzpah... Schlemiel calls on his father the next evening, "Father... I too will be married soon!" Again, Moisha breaks out in a dance and sings God's praises... "What is her name," implores the father? "Kazalopodopolous," says the son. "She's Greek Orthodox..." "Oy," says Moisha... "But are you happy?" "I'm happy, father..." "Ok... then you, too, have my blessing," intones Moisha... Dejected, Moisha goes to the Temple to pray.. "Please God... let my remaining son Chutzpah marry a nice Jewish girl... to raise nice Jewish children in your eyes ... PLEASE!" Chutzpah comes to his father excitedly and exclaims, "Father! I am to wed in the spring!" "Her NAME? WHAT IS HER NAME" his father immediately demands? "Goldberg!" says Chutzpah! Moisha is beside himself with joy! "Praise God! Praise the Prophets!" Turning to Chutzpah, he asks, "Is she Doctor Goldberg's daughter Shelley, from Los Angeles?" "No..." says Chutzpah... "Hmmm," says Moisha... "Must be Attorney Goldberg's daughter Rachel from Hollywood?" "Ah...no, father" says Chutzpah... "Well, then, what is her first name, my youngest, truest, most beautiful Son?" "Whoopi." says Chutzpah. ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 6 is National Fried Chicken Day July 7 is National Strawberry Sundae Day July 8 is Video Games Day July 9 is National Sugar Cookie Day July 10 is Clerihew Day July 11 is National Cheer Up The Lonely Day July 12 is National Pecan Pie Day --- ...Cool! Thanks Fran! I had to look up Clerihew Day - never heard of it before. Google spat out... A clerihew is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. The first line is the name of the poem's subject, usually a famous person put in an absurd light. The rhyme scheme is AABB, and the rhymes are often forced. Clerihew - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerihew ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,-"-. ,' .----. _________ `. ,' ) (@)__))___) |`-.-'| # \\ `---' ^ hjw >College Education? As our commanding officer inspected his plane before takeoff, one of my fellow mechanics asked, "Excuse me sir. Do you need to have a college education before they let you fly one of these?" "Yes, that's true," said our CO. "So," continued my friend, "does it ever bother you that they let high school dropouts like me fix them?" -<>- >Dinner Problem A flight attendant on a United Air Lines cross-country flight nervously announced about thirty minutes outbound from Los Angeles, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have twenty-nine dinners available!" -<>- >Five Poodles An older client who frequented our veterinary clinic owned five poodles. Over the years, she brought her pets to us for routine checkups and procedures. She was devoted to the dogs. As time went on, the dogs aged, and one by one, each of her beloved pets died. When the last of her dogs passed away, I expected a grieving client. Instead, she said: "Well, that is it then. My friend asked me to marry him five years ago, but he didn't like my dogs, so I declined. Now that they're gone, I can marry him." -<>- >The Pastor's Son The minister of a well-attended, strong, and enthusiastic church often showed himself ready and able to deal with any situation that might come up. One Sunday, just as the minister was reaching the peak of his sermon, his own young son ran to the center aisle, started making loud beeps and brrrmms like a car without a muffler, then zoomed right toward him. The minister stopped his sermon, pointed directly at his son, and commanded, "Jimmy, park the car immediately beside your mother on that bench (pointing), turn off the ignition, and hand her the keys." The sermon continued undisturbed after a good laugh by the congregation. -<>- =========================================================================== | | ~-_ Steamin' | (( ___ | Let us not forget our _-~ Hot | )) \___/_ Bottomless | tea-drinking sisters c|_| JAVA! | |~~| /~~~\ \ cup o' | and brothers, of whom | C|__| \___/ coffee | I was one, long ago... - - - - - - - - - - - | `'`'` | | And, if anyone's up to | (( Mmmm... _-~ I like coffee, I | animating their brew... | .-.)) ~-_ like tea...A cup, | __ | :|:~~|_ (| | a cup, a cup, a | )) /\<_ | ;|() |_) `-' cup, a cup.... | ((/ / \ | [].'|___| | __/~~~/ | - - - - - - - - - - - | ,( \__/ | The ASCII Cafe', by | "` | Dan Strychalski (dski@ ( Demitasse, | _| | | cameonet.cameo.com.tw) ) s'il vous | (_|~~| | Tools: WordPerfect 5.1 c[] plait... | `--' | WordStar 3.3, Toshiba | `'`'` | T2000SXe. Unbeatable! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - >Ransom At the data-entry company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies' room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup. I didn't realize how long I'd been until someone slid a note under the door. "You win," it read. "Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot." -<>- >Independence Days (Serious, Not Humor) Those of you who have been around this list for awhile know that there are a few times during the year that I post something serious. 99% of what is sent to the Good Clean Fun mailing list is humor, however right now I need to be serious for a moment. Most of us, and by that I mean most of us in the United States, know that the Fourth of July is the "birthday" of the United States of America. It actually marks the anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress. Often marked by parades and community celebration, it is a symbolic time for American families to gather and reflect on their heritage. Most of us take for granted that this day and all the other U.S. holidays are "national" holidays. Did you know that the United States observes no national holidays? Specifically, that means holidays mandated by the Federal Government. The United States Congress and/or President can only legally establish an "official" holiday for the District of Columbia and for federal employees. In fact, it wasn't until the 20th Century that an order was issued giving federal employees a "day off" from work. A public holiday can only be established at the local level. Typically the observance of holidays happens at the state level with the enactment of a state law or by an executive proclamation by a state governor. I first started posting this piece in July 2000. After I posted it, I received an email from Jen in Alberta, Canada. She asked me why I only mentioned the U.S. holidays. She surmised that it was because I was from the U.S. and to that extent, she is right. The U.S. holidays, especially the ones dealing with independence, veterans, and those who died for this country, are special to me. And since Good Clean Fun is 99% humor, I certainly don't want to veer from that basic premise and turn this into a history site. But Jen did start me to thinking, so I did a bit of research about my neighbors: Canada and Mexico. Look back at the subject of this email. It is Independence "Days", plural. So let me take a moment and briefly honor my neighbors: 1. Canada celebrates its Independence on July 1st. The British North America Act created the Canadian federal government on July 1, 1867. This Act proclaimed "one Dominion under the name of Canada," hence the original title of the holiday as "Dominion Day." July 1st has also been known in Canada as "Confederation Day." On October 27, 1982, the Canadian Parliament officially renamed the holiday as "Canada Day." 2. Mexico celebrates many national and religious holidays. I must admit that I always thought that Cinco de Mayo, the Fifth of May, was Mexico's Independence Day, but a bit of research proved me wrong. While Cinco de Mayo is a national holiday, it honors the Mexican defeat of the French army at Puebla in 1862. September 16th is Mexican Independence Day and it celebrates the day that Miguel Hidalgo delivered "El Grito de Dolores", and announced the Mexican revolt against Spanish rule. 3. Let me mention a third "neighbor" albeit one a bit farther away than just north or south of the US. A ways back, Michelle emailed me to tell of Australia Day which is celebrated down under on January 26th. That is the day Australia became a nation in their own right. So, let's all be proud of and reflect on our heritage. Have a great holiday, Tom PS: Don't forget to fly the flag! Many of you will not remember Red Skelton, one of the best commedians of all time. Occasionally he would veer from comedy to a more serious moment. My favorite piece of this serious/patriotic genre was done many, many years ago where he divided the Pledge of Allegiance into individual words and phrases in order to explain the meaning of each one. The piece can be found here. http://kcbx.net/~tellswor/redskel1.htm It also contains a link where you can hear Red's comments in his own voice. Or even view the piece as he presented it way back in 1969. I highly recommend it. Finally, let's remember that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July is more than beer, picnics, and baseball games. -Tom ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) .-"""""---"""""-. ,' `. .' `. / \ .' `. / _.---------._ \ / .-'Y Y Y`-._ \ / ,-'`--'-----'-----'--' `. \ / .-' ..--"""~~~~~"""--.. `-. \ / :_..--' `--.._; \ / \ / ____...____ \ : _..---""""""" """"""---.._ ; `---' `---' dp "What Difference Does It Make" read this one. No news reports have mentioned this information. THIS PART YOU DON'T KNOW, BUT SHOULD. >AMERICAN VALOR, BENGHAZI, LIBYA: The stunning part of this story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction. The news has been full of the attacks on our embassies throughout the Muslim world, and in particular, the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others in Benghazi, Libya. However, there’s a little known story of incredible bravery, heroics, and courage that should be the top story. So what actually happened at the U.S. embassy in Libya? We are learning more about this every day. Ambassador Stevens and Foreign Service officer Sean Smith, along with administrative staff, were working out of temporary quarters due to the fact that in the spring of 2011 during the so-called Arab Spring, the United States cut ties with then president Moammar Gadhafi. Our embassy was looted and ransacked, causing it to be unusable. It is still in a state of disrepair. Security for embassies and their personnel is to be provided by the host nation. Since Libya has gone through a civil war of sorts in the past 18 months, the current government is very unstable, and therefore, unreliable A well-organized attack by radical Muslims was planned specifically targeting the temporary U.S. embassy building. The Libyan security force that was in place to protect our people deserted their post, or joined the attacking force. Either way, our people were in a real fix. And it should be noted that Ambassador Stevens had mentioned on more than one occasion to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, that he was quite concerned for his personal safety and the welfare of his people. It is thought that Ambassador Stevens was on a “hit list.” A short distance from the American compound, two Americans were sleeping. They were in Libya as independent contractors working an assignment totally unrelated to our embassy. They also happened to be former Navy Seal’s. When they heard the noise coming from the attack on our embassy, as you would expect from highly trained warriors, they ran to the fight. Apparently, they had no weapons, but seeing the Libyan guards dropping their guns in their haste in fleeing the scene, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty snatched up several of these discarded weapons and prepared to defend the American compound. Not knowing exactly what was taking place, the two Seal’s set up a defensive perimeter. Unfortunately Ambassador Stevens was already gravely injured, and Foreign Service officer, Sean Smith, was dead. However, due to their quick action and suppressive fire, twenty administrative personnel in the embassy were able to escape to safety. Eventually, these two courageous men were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers brought against them, an enemy force numbering between 100 to 200 attackers which came in two waves. But the stunning part of the story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction. As it became apparent to these selfless heroes, they were definitely going to lose their lives unless some reinforcements showed up in a hurry. As we know now, that was not to be. I’m fairly certain they knew they were going to die in this gun fight, but not before they took a whole lot of bad guys with them! Consider these tenets of the Navy SEAL Code: 1) Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate, 2) Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield, 3) Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit, 4) Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates, 5) Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation, 6) Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies, and... 7) Earn your Trident every day (http://www.navyseals.com/seal-code-warrior-creed). Thank you, Tyrone and Glen. To the very last breath, you both lived up to the SEAL Code. You served all of us well. You were courageous in the face of certain death. And Tyrone, even though you never got to hold your newborn son, he will grow up knowing the character and quality of his father, a man among men who sacrificed himself defending others. Dr. Charles R. Roots Senior Pastor Former Staff Sergeant, USMC Captain, U. S. Navy Chaplain Corps (Ret.) This should be passed on and on and on. NO TRUE AMERICAN WOULD OBJECT TO RECEIVING THIS MORE THAN ONCE ... SO PASS IT ON And Let us never forget the Hillary Clinton Comment “What Difference Does It Make?” --- ...Let us not forget our brave heroes. Thanks Geniann! Navy Seal Reveals what REALLY happened to Seal Team Six and Benghazi! Obama and Hillary COMPLICIT! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QegeuvPDwc TrentoVision 5.9.13 - Navy SEAL Extortion 17 EXPOSED - Obama Failures https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtJrJ40Cio Navy SEALs Expose Obama https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3kK5neqzHE -<>- `/\ ____/ / _ / ___ \ \\_!_________(_/_/ \ \ <#|=====|______ / /__/ / C|=====|---' \__/ / |-|-|~ / /---' / / |_____| jiri >New Commemorative Pistol RUGER is coming out with a new pistol in honor of the United States Senate And House of Representatives. It will be named the "Congressman." It doesn't work and you can't fire it. -<>- The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built up, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me." "What did He say?" asked one of the students. "He said, 'Gee, thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!' -<>- >RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me! 1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me. God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess? 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter. 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........?????? --- ...HaHa! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' >SMILES An eminent psychologist was called to testify in court. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. "Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair, she opened her mouth to answer, when she was catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment. Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair, and was re seated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk. "Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question." ------- Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eying my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin. The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally, he asked. "Those your kids?" "Yes, they are!" I answered proudly. "They adopted?" he asked. "Yes," I replied. "I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small." -------- Rufus, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him. "Dude, it's obvious," says Studly the lifeguard, "you're wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Spandex Speedos about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin you man... you'll have all the babes you want!" The following weekend, Rufus hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and for cryin' out loud! - it's worse than before! Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! So Rufus goes back to Studly the lifeguard again and asks him, "What's wrong now?" "Jeezzzzz!"says the lifeguard....... "The potato goes in the front!!" -------- Johnny: "Do you think people can predict the future with cards?" Jimmy: "My mother sure can. She takes one look at my report card and tells me exactly what will happen when Dad gets home." ------- A guy is interviewing for a job in a railroad yard. The boss asks, "What would you do if you had two trains heading towards each other on the same track?" "I'd throw that switch over there and shunt one of them onto the other track." "What if the switch didn't work?" "Then I'd change the signal to red so both trains would stop." "What if the signals weren't working?" "Then I'd go out to the yard and throw the switch manually." "What if it jammed?" "Then I'd wave my arms to get the engineers to stop." "What if they didn't see you?" "Then I'd send for my sister." "Your sister? What could she do?" "Nothing. She just loves train wrecks." -------- A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now, he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "You know what"? "What dear?" she asks gently. "I think you bring me bad luck." -------- A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chuck's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Chuck said, "OK, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?" Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!" Chuck said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back." ------- A blonde was tired of being made fun of, so she dyed her hair brunette and went for a drive in the country. After a while she saw a shepherd with a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out of her BMW, (the only car she could spell), walked over to the shepherd and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The shepherd was enough of a gambler that he agreed. "Uhhhh ... a hundred and fifty seven?" By an incredible stroke of luck 157 was exactly right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, the shepherd walked up to her and offered a bet of his own: "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?" -------- I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00. I said "May I have large bills, please?" She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size." -------- When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side." -------- The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one." --- ...LOL! Rich! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- _,---. (/_/)))) \c e_e) . \ = ) _| ,-` -(_ |o| / `-'\\ |#{) /__| ._ _)y / < \ (\_/ `.\ ____\ ,>>> | .==T=T==.__| | | / | |\ |_______| \ / /\ \ / ,' `. \ / / \ \ <\_\_ \ \ `---` (_`-\_ `---' hjw >(From "Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History" by Charles M. Sevilla) ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you kidding me? ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. --- ...Teehee! Great Classic! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From AFA: Top Anti-Christian Bigotry Stories of the Week http://www.afa.net/ -<>- >From The Tea Party News: Top News http://tinyurl.com/osjw96b -<>- >From BizarreNews: As a dumb kid (and dumb young adult), whenever July rolled around I always lamented the fact that my state, Illinois, outlawed the sale and possession of fireworks. As an older and wiser adult I was always on the fence about the justification for these kinds of laws, but then I come across a story like this and I start to think that maybe people really can't be trusted to themselves. In some kind of YouTube stunt gone wrong, 47-year-old Scott Jeffers of Walled Lake, died last week when he held a firecracker to his face and it exploded. Police in Michigan say his family watched while Jeffers attempted the prank. Paramedics who arrived at the scene found him unresponsive and suffering from serious head trauma. Jeffers was pronounced dead at the scene and alcohol was a factor. According to the police investigation, Jeffers tried to perform a stunt for YouTube, and he thought that the firecracker was unlit. Police said that the firecracker was bought in the state legally. Family members told investigators that Jeffers was preparing to host a party. -<>- Sure, fireworks are dangerous as we saw in last week's issue of Bizarre News where a man killed himself in a pre-Independence Day stunt with an explosive, but fire- arms are even more dangerous, especially if your job is training mentally disturbed people to handle them. 31-year-old Veronica Lewis of Vermont, is accused of shooting her firearms instructor in the face during their second lesson, police said. Lewis allegedly fired three shots at 48-year-old Darryl Montague earlier this week, hitting him twice in the jaw and once in the abdomen. The attack occurred at the Montague's place of business. Montague runs a licensed firearms company called Vermont Target Sports. Lewis is said to have mental issues and she lives at a mental health facility. She previously lived in New York City, where she had a lengthy criminal record. How a woman with such extensive mental health issues made it as far as 2 classes in firearms training was not made clear. After the shooting, police said they found a .22 caliber pistol and a hammer in her backpack. The attack is considered premeditated because of the presence of the hammer. Lewis was charged with first degree attempted murder. Of course, the victim of the shooting lived, while the guy who performed the stunt with the explosive died, so maybe fireworks are more dangerous than firearms after all. Maybe in the future Mr. Montague will do a more detailed background check before he lets just anybody into his classes. *-- Police remove trapped 500-pound pig from basement of deceased 'hoarder' --* DETROIT (UPI) - Authorities in Detroit struggled to remove a pig estimated to weigh between 400 and 500 pounds from the basement of a recently deceased man, according to reports. Police arrived at the home Friday morning after receiving an anonymous tip that a pig inside the dwelling was being fed human remains. Officers discovered a pig was trapped in the basement of the house, which was accessible only by ladder. "No pun intended but it looks like a pigsty," Assistant Police Chief Steve Dolunt told WXYZ. "There's two feet of feces down there." Animal rescue workers built a ramp for the animal and, with some difficulty, were eventually able to get the pig out of the basement. Police say cadaver dogs were unable to find evidence of human remains. Neighbors say the homeowner was Gary Roquemore, who owned multiple houses on the block and was found dead in a nearby residence earlier in the week. Police did not identify Roquemore but said the pig's owner died of natural causes on Tuesday. "There is a stench emanating from all three homes," Dolunt said. "It looks like at this time, preliminarily, this is a hoarder, so we can't tell what we have in all three homes." The pig was originally slated to go to a farm in Canton, Michigan but was deemed to large. Animal rescue group Devoted Barn reportedly adopted the animal. *-- Police: Florida motorist accidentally jumped drawbridge --* PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) - Cameras mounted on a Florida drawbridge captured the moment a distracted driver jumped the gap as the bridge was rising. The Palm Beach Police Department said James Montano, 29, became an unwitting daredevil when he blew through a lowering arm on the Flagler Memorial Bridge and drove up the rising bridge to jump the gap and stop on the other side. "Basically it was a distracted driver incident," Officer Philip Salm told WPTV. "The driver stated that he was looking at his GPS unit while driving across the bridge and did not see the stop arm in the down position until he crashed through it," Capt. Curtis Krauel told The Palm Beach Post. "He did not show any visible indicators of impairment." Salm said lucky timing allowed Montano to make it over the gap and survive the accidental stunt. "The implications of what could have happened, had he hit at a different time or he hit the ramp and went over the side, you're talking about a potentially fatal accident," Salm said. Montano was cited for reckless driving. He and a passenger were treated for minor injuries, police said. The bridge was closed for about five hours while crews worked to repair damage. *-- British festival launches egg 21.7 miles toward space --* SWATON, England (UPI) - Organizers of an egg tossing event in Britain said an attempt to launch an egg into space reached an altitude of nearly 22 miles. The Swaton Vintage Day and World Egg Throwing Championships featured the "Eggsplorer 1" weather balloon launch, which took took an egg to an altitude of 21.7 miles before returning to Earth east of Hull. A video of the launch was shared on YouTube, but organizers said the onboard camera failed to send any pictures back to mission control during the flight. A helium egg balloon was also launched at the event and was later found less than 13 miles from the Danish border. Festival organizers said they are making plans to launch Eggsplorer 2 at next year's celebration. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) _____ /~/~ ~\ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ \ --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, ''"'',,}{,, unknown >Places not to go... *WORLD MURDER STATISTICS* *From the World Health Organization* *The latest Murder Statistics for the world:* *Murders per 100,000 citizens per year.* *Honduras 91.6 (WOW!!)* *El Salvador 69.2* *Cote d'lvoire 56.9* *Jamaica 52.2* *Venezuela 45.1* *Belize 41.4* *US Virgin Islands 39.2* *Guatemala 38.5* *Saint Kitts and Nevis 38.2* *Zambia 38.0* *Uganda 36.3* *Malawi 36.0* *Lesotho 35.2* *Trinidad and Tobago 35.2* *Colombia 33.4* *South Africa 31.8* *Congo 30.8* *Central African Republic 29.3* *Bahamas 27.4* *Puerto Rico 26.2* *Saint Lucia 25.2* *Dominican Republic 25.0* *Tanzania 24.5* *Sudan 24.2* *Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 22.9* *Ethiopia 22.5* *Guinea 22.5* *Dominica 22.1* *Burundi 21.7* *Democratic Republic of the Congo 21.7* *Panama 21.6* *Brazil 21.0* *Equatorial Guinea 20.7* *Guinea-Bissau 20.2* *Kenya 20.1* *Kyrgyzstan 20.1* *Cameroon 19.7* *Montserrat 19.7* *Greenland 19.2* *Angola 19.0* *Guyana 18.6* *Burkina Faso 18.0* *Eritrea 17.8* *Namibia 17.2* *Rwanda 17.1* *Mexico 16.9* *Chad 15.8* *Ghana 15.7* *Ecuador 15.2* *North Korea 15.2* *Benin 15.1* *Sierra Leone 14.9* *Mauritania 14.7* *Botswana 14.5* *Zimbabwe 14.3* *Gabon 13.8* *Nicaragua 13.6* *French Guiana 13.3* *Papua New Guinea 13.0* *Swaziland 12.9* *Bermuda 12.3* *Comoros 12.2* *Nigeria 12.2* *Cape Verde 11.6* *Grenada 11.5* *Paraguay 11.5* *Barbados 11.3* *Togo 10.9* *Gambia 10.8* *Peru 10.8* *Myanmar 10.2* *Russia 10.2* *Liberia 10.1* *Costa Rica 10.0* *Nauru 9.8* *Bolivia 8.9* *Mozambique 8.8* *Kazakhstan 8.8* *Senegal 8.7* *Turks and Caicos Islands 8.7* *Mongolia 8.7* *British Virgin Islands 8.6* *Cayman Islands 8.4* *Seychelles 8.3* *Madagascar 8.1* *Indonesia 8.1* *Mali 8.0* *Pakistan 7.8* *Moldova 7.5* *Kiribati 7.3* *Guadeloupe 7.0* *Haiti 6.9* *Timor-Leste 6.9*< span style="font-family: ;"> *Anguilla 6.8* *Antigua and Barbuda 6.8* *Lithuania 6.6* *Uruguay 5.9* *Philippines 5.4* *Ukraine 5.2* *Estonia 5.2* *Cuba 5.0* *Belarus 4.9* *Thailand 4.8* *Suriname 4.6* *Laos 4.6* *Georgia 4.3* *Martinique 4.2* *And ............................................* *The United States 4.2 !!!!!!!!!!!!* *ALL (109) of the countries above America have 100% gun bans.* *It might be of interest to note that SWITZERLAND is not shown on this list because it has* *NO MURDER OCCURRENCE!* *However, SWITZERLAND'S law requires that EVERYONE:* *1. Own a gun.* *2. Maintain Marksman qualifications .... regularly .* *Didja learn anything from this??* *I think the message is - loud and clear - that gun bans and restrictions* *DO NOT**work!* --- ...Wowsers! Thanks PatDeE! I thought Switzerland facts weren't true but found it is: http://www.snopes.com/politics/guns/switzerland.asp Obama says we are the worst with guns - but check it out: _ |_t+.__________________......_ /;_ ;________________/ : \ t""o.\__ :---|------------------t-----^-`--' / \__L___________________\____________\ ""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+. \ ( l) ;"" : / _ _ _ l `--" o; Y |_||_ |_|| \ """""";: .-. :\ | |:_ | |:_/ :: '-' ;\ _ _ _ _ _ _ ;; : ; | ||_l | \|_ |_|| \ :: bug ;| :_l|`, :_/:_ | |:_/ ;'-------'; '"------"" Firearm-related death rate per 100,000 population per year http://tinyurl.com/78wz247 -<>- _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT Not Political Just Funny Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this!! FIRST NIGHT Suddenly! The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." SECOND NIGHT The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears to her and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really really don't want to do that." THIRD NIGHT On the third night, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears to her and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln says, "Go to the theater." --- ...LOL! Gotta love Lincoln! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst back seat driver in the world. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof. The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?" -<>- On vacation, a man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a snack at the restaurant, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then, a train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. But just a few minutes later a train again shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager who says he'll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in. He takes one look at the manager lying in bed with his wife and yells, "Hey! What are you doing in here!?" The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?" -<>- While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One." -<>- As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth 50,000 years ago at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." The lady sitting next to me exclaimed: "Wow, look! It just missed the highway!" -<>- When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats." -<>- A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River. "That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!" "You have to remember," answered the guide, "a dollar went a lot farther in those days." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Freedom Isn't Free http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Chevy: American Pride http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevypride.html Military WWII Posters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarywwii.html Bleed American http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bleed.html Building Advertising Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingads.html Wall Mural Art 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart2.html Expensive Hotels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html Garage Door Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/garageart.html Strange Buildings!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildings.html Big Baby Big Dogs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigdogs.html -<>- Check this one out... https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=261&v=ob5UJS2WwQ8 -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) FUNNY SWATTER GAME :) http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/funny/swf/kill.swf --- ...HaHa! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) Watch “America’s Orchestra”, the Boston Pops in a FREE LIVE WEB STREAM of the July 4th concert on Boston’s Charles River Esplanade. Keith Lockhart and the Boston Pops Esplanade Orchestra will be joined by special guests in celebrating one of the nation’s proudest holiday traditions, the Boston Pops’ Fourth-of-July concert at the Hatch Shell on Boston’s Charles River Esplanade, Saturday, July 4, 8 p.m., celebrating its 42nd year. The WEB STREAM will be available ON DEMAND here for 24 days! http://bostonpopsjuly4th.org/ --- ...Awesome! Thanks Karen! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Stark black and white pictures, about 110 of them, of historical significance in this collection. At the end of the pics there are some interesting comments. A few of us, our fathers and/or grandfathers participated in this action... World War II: The Pacific and Adjacent Theaters. http://tinyurl.com/yfl9syg More WWII Photos http://tinyurl.com/9btkxco --- ...Amazing History! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) These two brothers are sandwich shop workers and can really harmonize. Richard and Adam singing 'The Impossible Dream' - Week 2 Auditions | Britain's Got Talent 2013 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTmhDyxBybU Some of the old westerns you may have forgotten: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gA0gGK6Mew Some short run 60’s shows you may remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqx-D0440pA Some 60’s commercials: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yWTsFVkrFc --- ...Sweet! Thanks Geniann! Nowadays we have tons of diet commercials and medicine commercials! Nice to see a variety of funny things. I remember these more... The classic 'Hey Mikey!' and who didn't memorize - 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mkr3GureeA -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Well, it finally happened. I've been sending so many emails that my cursor overheated. Honest! Check it out for yourself! http://www.flamingcursor.com/ --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseA! This link plays the song that was Number #1 on the day you were born. And if there's a video available with the artist, it will play it too. http://playback.fm/birthday-song --- ...Man! No wonder why I am weird - LOL! The #1 song on Friday, April 1st 1955 was: The Ballad of Davy Crockett by Bill Hayes - See more at: http://playback.fm/birthday-song#sthash.lVMhAQJ0.dpuf Every night of Kentucky's All State Choir conference, all the singers come out of their rooms at the Hyatt Hotel in Louisville. What happens next is indescribable, unbelievable and heartbreakingly beautiful. I wish I could be right in the middle of that lobby! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OAEmpdSHC10 Here's a simple but beautiful concept: Set up a slow-motion camera to watch puppies racing for their dinner. Then make a time-lapse video of them growing into adults. The results are the most adorable video you'll see all day! Watch and bask in the cuteness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=niLxhiywXqw When a magician is right in front of you, he or she can interact with you, can misdirect your attention and read you for cues. But how can an illusionist fool you over YouTube, when you can pause and rewind, but you can't respond? Watch this video to see if you can figure out how this magician guesses your card right every time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfT8AJbo8C4&feature=player_embedded Until I watched this video it never occurred to me that neon signs have essentially disappeared. I remember many cars from those years that no longer are built: Packard, Studebaker, Hudson, Nash, DeSoto, Plymouth, Oldsmobile, Pontiac, Kaiser, Frazer and Edsel. This list is incomplete but it does give an idea of how many things have changed since the 1930s and 1940s. The Michael Dingman Collection - NEON SIGNS AND OLD FORDS. Interesting and sad too when you consider people like this gentleman are regrettably becoming a thing of the past. Dingman must have had a lot money to assemble his collection. He put his Ford and Neon Sign Collection up for auction in June 2013. This video of him recounts the manner in which his collection occurred and pictures of all. Click here... https://www.youtube.com/embed/6IYISQ6DVwk --- ...Most interesting! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Earth from Above a collection of aerial photography http://justpaste.it/3ky Jacqueline Saburido http://deardrunkdriver.com/jacqui.htm The Seasons Of Life http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/theseasonsoflife.htm This Newborn Has Just Entered The World http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0MC91FNU --- ...Awww, Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Experts say that because of higher gas prices, fewer families will travel this weekend. That's a shame. I can't imagine growing up without an 18-hour ride through the desert with my father who's too cheap to turn the air conditioning on." -Jimmy Kimmel "Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels will rise so much that parts of New Jersey will be under water. The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won't be under water." --Conan O'Brien "A new study found that students who use Facebook while studying have 20 percent lower grades than students who focus. When kids who use Facebook heard that they were like, '20 percent? Big deal. What's that, like 10 percent?'" -Jimmy Fallon "General Mills announced that it will phase out all official flavors and colors from its cereals by 2017. The bad news is that now Cheerios and Fruit Loops will look exactly the same." -Seth Meyers "Apple is developing a service called Home Kit that will allow people to operate gadgets like garage openers and thermostats through one app. In related news, please don't tell my parents about this. I can't be explaining this stuff every week." -Jimmy Fallon "Some people paid more than $300 for tickets to go to the NBA draft, just to sit there and watch the draft. Also, it's really your one chance to stand up and shout, 'Is it me or is there a draft in here?'" -Jimmy Kimmel "According to a new survey, Pizza Hut's new hot dog pizza is the second worst pizza in America. Which explains their new slogan: 'Pizza Hut - not the worst pizza in America.'" --Conan O'Brien "According to a new study, American fathers are spending more than twice the amount of time with their children than they used to. Experts say it's due to a sweeping new trend called 'unemployment.'" -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************