Frogs, Old Age And Psychopath Test ... :) Shangy!
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================
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~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
_zzzzzzzz_
]@@z__a@@@
~~@@@@@~"
_a@~@ze
@@" ]@[
@@z_a@[
`-@@@ _zzzzzz
.a@z_ _d@@~@@[~
____zd@@@@@zzz@@~ ""
)a@@@~~"]@`~~~~~
`~@zz_ ]@
~@@z]@
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`]@@'
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]@L~@@z
]@@ ~@@@_
]@[ `]@[
"@@ )a@'
]@[ ]@@
)a@')a@'
]@@ ]@@ KANGAROO
.a@' -@@zzzze
]@@@@@@[~~~~"
`~
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
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================
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
Our first 2 sizzling hot new pages are from our friends Linda
and LouiseAu. When I think of Scotland I think of bagpipes and
green rolling hills, but I should also be thinking of the Loch
Ness Monster and unicorns! This is sure to open your eyes to
how magical this land is. Check these out here...
\
\
\\
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(=___._/` \
) \ |
/ / |
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j < _\
_.-' : ``.
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Beautiful Scotland
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulscotland.html
Beautiful Scotland 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulscotland2.html
---
...Wow! Love the castles too! Thanks Ladies!
Our last flaming hot new page is from our friends Linda and
Geniann. This one may be an eye opener as well as give you
a few chuckles. Shows just how far off so called experts
can be. Check this one out here...
,---,_ ,
_> `'-. .--'/
.--'` ._ `/ <_
>,-' ._'.. ..__ . ' '-.
.-' .'` `'. '.
> / >`-. .-'< \ , '._\
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The Worst Famous Predictions
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worstpredictions.html
---
...LOL! I got a kick out of doing this one! Thanks Ladies!
I might have had a little too much fun. ;)
=======================================================
________
.##@@&&&@@##.
,##@&::%&&%%::&@##.
#@&:%%000000000%%:&@#
#@&:%00' '00%:&@#
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)`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-.
/ \ (_ '.Y.' _)
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\ / '-' | '-'
jgs `=========`
>-->St. Patrick’s Day SMILES:
Q: Why do revelers wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because real rocks are way too heavy.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day, friend.
_ _
(_(_)
/(_)
(-----.
|= |
_|=____|_
(_________)
8" "8
(8 6 6 8)
8 7 8
88-=###, _
jgs "888"`##,|#|
`###'
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A: He gets wet, of course.
Q: Why do they never iron a four-leaf clover.
A: They don’t want to press their luck.
Q: Where do leprechauns play baseball?
A: Little League.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pat.
Pat who?
Pat your shoes on so we can go celebrate St. Patrick’s Day!
.-"""""-.
\ /
|.-----.|
__|_______|___ HAPPY
'--;-'```'-;--' ST. PATRICK'S
/ / 6_6 \ \ DAY !
( ( _) ) ) /
( ( .__. ) )
( `._`-'_.' )
/`'-._`"`_.-'`\
| /___```___\ |
\ |___|L|___| /
\/ `"` \/
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/ /\ \
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jgs __LI`--`\|`.__/
( /\ LI\
`.___,-'` \ |
'.__/
Q: Do leprechauns get upset when you make fun of their size?
A: Yes ... but only a little.
Q: What did the astronaut leprechaun use to travel to the moon?
A: A shamrocket.
Q: Why is St. Patrick’s Day a frogs' favorite holiday?
A: They’re already wearing green.
Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf
clover?
A: A rash of good luck.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
__...._
.-"` `\
/ |
| |
\ |
\ __...--'|
\.-' |_..-,
__\___...---'`_..-'
(_______....--'\
/ `\ (o \__
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\ /`\ \ | (_Y_)
_ '-.\_,| | T-._/ (_A_)
_../`'T T-'` | | \__ _|
.' | | | | \___ | /_\`\
/ | | | | \ `/-`\ --|
| \ | | | | /`----' |--'
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/ / /`-._ |`-\ \
jgs _/_/ / | \ \
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`"`""` `""""` `.__._`;
Q: How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?
A: Because they are hard to find and lucky to have.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
March 13 is Ear Muff Day and Jewel Day
March 14 is Learn about Butterflies Day, National Potato Chip Day
and National Pi Day
March 15 is Dumbstruck Day, Everything You Think is Wrong Day
and Ides of March
March 16 is Everything You Do is Right Day, Freedom of Information
Day and Incredible Kid Day
March 17 is Corned Beef and Cabbage Day, Submarine Day and
Saint Patrick's Day
March 18 is Goddess of Fertility Day, National Quilting Day and
Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is Poultry Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
__,
.-"`{*}
." ::{*}
/ .:. {*}
|:: ' ::{*}
{^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^}
|^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^|
()-():. .:. .:. .:. .:. |
/o o\' :: ' :: ' :: ' :: ' |
_\ Y /_. .:. .:. .:. .:. |
O__`&`__O : ' :: ' .--. ' |_
/ \^"*"^[A]^"*"^/____\"^,_(')<
jgs ()/^\()=^=[B][C].=^\~~~~/.=\___)
'--'
>Sing to Sleep
I also used to sing my children to sleep.
Until, that is, the day I overheard the four-year-old tell the
three-year-old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."
-<>-
>Sidewalks
For years my husband and I had complained bitterly about the lack
of sidewalks in our small town, observing often that if only we
had sidewalks, we would walk daily and become models of fitness.
So we were thrilled when a community sidewalk project was
announced, and watched eagerly as paving neared completion.
Then wishful thinking and reality collided. "Well, dear," my
husband said. "What'll we use as an excuse for not walking now?"
-<>-
>How Many Children?
I was blessed with three beautiful, intelligent and terrific
children. When they were seven, six and five, my youngest
daughter who was always asking questions, came home from
kindergarten one day and asked, "Daddy, how many children did
you want?"
Thinking for a minute, I looked at her and said, "Two."
She thought about this for a moment and then asked, "Me, and
who else?"
-<>-
>Postage
My arms laden with gifts, I remembered that I had forgotten to mail
a card to my childhood friend Faye. Buying a card and dashing into
the post office, I bought a first-class stamp.
"Excuse me, I said, my arms aching. "but must I put the stamp on
myself?"
"No ma'am," deadpanned the clerk, "it goes on the envelope."
-<>-
>Chopstick Skill
On an evening when my parents were dining in a Chinese restaurant
with two of their close friends, Dad was showing his skill in the
use of chopsticks. In addition to picking up a piece of beef and
a snow pea, he demonstrated his prowess by picking up a tiny
morsel of rice.
Turning to the others at the table, he asked if there was
anything else they would like to see him pick up.
"Yes," said his friend. "The check."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
/| ,
,/// /|
// // ,///
// // // //
// // || ||
|| || // //
|| || // //
|| || // //
|| || || ||
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jgs `/` ` \ ||| / ` `\`
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'---'
>JOKES
A couple was entertaining their friends for dinner. During the
middle of the meal, their two young children walked into the
dining room. The children proceeded to walk slowly around the
dinner table wearing nothing but their birthday suits. Although
a little perturbed, the parents decided to ignore them and
carried on with the meal and conversation. The friends did
likewise and ignored the children. The children finished their
round trip and proceeded out of the room.
From the hallway, a giggle was heard and a little voice
proclaimed, "See, I told you it was vanishing cream!
----------
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for
clunking sound when going around corners."
Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and
a moment later he heard a "clunk."
He then made a left turn and again heard a "clunk."
Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered
the problem.
Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with
the notation, "Removed bowling ball from trunk".
-------
Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who
had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late
in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down
on my veranda for a few hours and relax.
In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad,
fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon
boating or playing golf or tennis...
When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the
finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my
veranda again."
The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be
envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She
asked, "What's his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
----------
Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a
Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their
way to church.
Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing:
"The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers
and fathers."
"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied, "so why is their dad
carrying that rifle?"
----------
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a
stagecoach.
Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the
stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.
The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse
into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and
jumps onto the other horse.
Just before he rode off, I yelled out,
"What was all that about?"
He replied,
"Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."
----------
I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a
conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I
boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the
security-check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes widened as he
watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly
pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials
and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area.
"A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in
embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted. "Look,
I'll show you." I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing
that I had no idea how it worked, "One... two... three... four,"
it said. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, "Aren't you glad
it didn't go 'four... three... two... one...?'"
----------
A man owned a small farm in Iowa.
The State of Iowa Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not
paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to
interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,"
demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I
pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a month
plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit that works
here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I buy
him a bottle of bourbon every week," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says the
agent.
The farmer says, "That would be me."
-------
Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for
a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the in-
evitable answer.
"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter
if you're on the ground or in the air."
"I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that
far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
----------
Man goes to a hitman and asks him to kill his wife.
Hitman: Sure, but it will be 10K
Man: OK, but I want to know how you are going to kill her?
Hitman: I will use just one shot just below her left breast.
Man: That's no good, I want her dead, not hit in the kneecap.
-------
/ \
_(I)(I)_
( _ .. _ )
`.`--'.'
) (
,-./ \,-.
( _( || || )_ )
__\ \\||--||'/ /__ hjw
`-._//||\/||\\_.-'
`--'`--'
A family is driving in a car on vacation.
A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able
to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him
to the side of the road.
The frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will
grant him a wish.
The man says, "Please make my dog win the next dog race."
The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car.
The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, is very fat,
and can barely move at all so he tells the man that he thinks
it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the
man will tell him another wish.
The man says, "Well, then please make my wife win the next
beauty contest in the area."
The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.
Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
__ --~~--_ _--~~--__
_-~ \---/ ~-_
/~ __--~~\ /~~--__ ~\
/ _-~~ | | ~~-_ \
| /~ | | ~\ |
| / O | | O \ |
| | | | | |
\ \_ _/ \_ _/ /
~-_~--___--~ b d ~--___--~_-~
/ ~~--- _________ ---~~ \
/ ~~--- _________ ---~~ \
/ __---~~~~ ~~~~---__ \
_-~~ ~~-_
/~ ~\
(_-~ ~-_)
\ /
_-~-_ _-~-_
/ ~~--___ ___--~~ \
/ ~~~~-------~~~~ \
| |
| |
_ | | _
_-~ ~-| / \ |-~ ~-_
/ | | | | \
( | | | | )
\ ~-| | | |-~ /
~-_ | | | | _-~
~-_ \ \ / / _-~
~-_/ ) ( \_-~
_-~ (~-_ _-~) ~-_
( _ \ ~~--___ _-_ __--~~ / _ )
_-~ ~-_ ) ~~~ ~~~ ( _-~ ~-_
( _-~/ |\ )--~~ ~~--( /| \~-_ )
( | ~-~ ~-~ | )
unknown
The frog turns to the man and says, "Could I please have another
look at the dog?"
---
...TeeHee! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
PROBLEM SOLVING FLOWSHEET
YES ============================= NO
+-----------|| Does the Darn Thing work? ||-----------+
| ============================= |
V V
+----------+ +---------+ +---------+
| Don't | NO | Does | +-------+ YES | Did you |
| mess | +---| anyone |<------| YOU |<---------| mess |
| with it! | | | know? | | MORON | | with it |
+----------+ | +---------+ +-------+ +---------+
| V | YES | NO
| +------+ +-----------+ |
| | HIDE | V V
| | IT | +--------+ +-----------+
| +------+ | YOU | YES | WILL THEY |
| | +------->| POOR |<------------| CATCH YOU?|
| | | | B! | +-----------+
| | | |________| | NO
| | | | |
| | | V V
| | | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | NO | CAN YOU BLAME | |DESTROY THE|
| | +------| SOMEONE ELSE? | | EVIDENCE |
| | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | YES |
| | v |
| | ============================ |
| +---->|| N O ||<---------+
+------------>|| P R O B L E M ||
============================
unknown
>TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS
Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out....
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
Give it another try....
Look at each word carefully.
You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.
This is so cool.....
REMEMBER I ONLY SENT THIS TO MY SMART FRIENDS
NOW DON'T LET ME DOWN
No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.
Answer is below!
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter,
place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word
backwards, it will be the same word.
Did you figure it out?
No?
Then send this to more people and stump them as well.
Then, you'll feel better too.
---
...Simple but puzzling! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Karen :)
<-> <=>
<=> <->
<-> <=>
<=><->
<-><=>
;--;
| |
| |
|LI|
\__/
<=->
<-=>
<=->
<-=>
<=->
<-=>
jgs <=->
<-=>
>SMILES
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper
was down and his fly area wide open.
His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage
door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked
into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open,
and zipped it up.
He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask,
'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in
there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan
with two flat tires.'
-<>-
I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse
than being old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all
day long but stare at the walls or watch TV.
So last week, when we all celebrated Senior Citizen Week it was
suggested we all cheer up a senior citizen.
|
,' `.
/ \
/-,-,-,-,-\
|
J
.--. |
/ oo \/
/ -- |
< \ /
[] `--'
||
/''\
I decided to do just that.
I would call on my new neighbor, an elderly retired gentleman,
recently widowed, and who, I presumed, had moved in with his
married daughter because he was too old to take care of himself.
I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call
(some old people cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten
this old guy's day.
When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door
dressed in tennis shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as
ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond.
"I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced
myself, "but I'm due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in
the semifinals today."
"Oh that's all right," I said. "I baked you some cookies..."
"Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need
for bridge club tomorrow! Thanks so much!"
I continued, "...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's
okay! I'll just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady."
"Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called
to remind her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at
the beauty shop. She mentioned that at breakfast that she had an
appointment for a tint job."
So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83);
She was in the hospital ... working in the gift shop.
I called my aunt (age 74); but she was on vacation in China.
I called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot;...... he was on
his honeymoon.
So now I dread old age more than ever.
I just don't think I'm up to it!
---
...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Karen!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Why We don't want men allowed in Ladies Restrooms...
http://tinyurl.com/zdgexb7
FBI Confirms what many of us already know...
BREAKING: US Officials: FBI’s Own Investigation Into Russia
Finds Trump Is In The Clear
http://tinyurl.com/jxrktd3
Trey Gowdy Makes Big Announcement Over Leaks
http://tinyurl.com/jkd8e4y
Judge Napolitano States The “Destruction of Obama Legacy Possible”
Now After Wiretapping Scandal
http://tinyurl.com/jv2vw2q
Newest from AFA
http://www.afa.net/
WikiLeaks Just DESTROYED Obama With Latest Info Dump
http://tinyurl.com/zg7o9fm
Real woman don't walk out when there is a job to do...
We just keep plugging away :)
ALERT: Melania And Ivanka DEFY Liberal Protesters!
http://tinyurl.com/hlv4y8t
The President supports Congress's plan to repeal and replace
Obamacare. Support the Repeal and Replacement of Obamacare: Sign
the Petition.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/support-repeal-replace-obamacare
Remarks by President Trump in a Healthcare Discussion with Key
House Committee Chairmen
http://tinyurl.com/gm4dewa
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Oh yeah, Daylight Saving is a killer.
A magazine article published by Duke Energy, one of the
largest electric utilities in the country, took aim at the
clock-changing law, which was updated just over a decade
ago by a 2005 energy bill. It pointed out a number of
adverse health effects that are a side effect of using 0.5
percent less energy per day as a result of gaining an hour
of sunlight.
Studies published over the last decade on the effects of
daylight saving time "have found that the time change
interrupts sleep cycles, causing fatigue, lack of
productivity and sadness," the article added. Even worse,
medical studies showed that daylight saving time also can
lead to death. "Other studies show that the number of
heart attacks spikes in the days following the March time
change, and after the November time change, the frequency
of heart attacks decreases."
So try to avoid stress and overexertion in the days
following - It's just not worth your life.
-<>-
An ex-employee who was angry about being fired, used his
car to run over his boss, according to police in Florida.
Police said that they have arrested 52-year-old Irelio
Reyes Osorio, after being accused of running his boss over
with his car several times in an attempt to kill him.
According to the criminal complaint, Osorio wanted to
collected money for two days of work.
Osorio sent his boss numerous text messages, in which he
threatened to use a weapon, a machete or a knife to kill
him. At some point, the boss and Osorio agreed to meet at
a coffee shop.
That was a mistake.
When they arrived, Osorio attacked his boss with a knife
and began to chase him through a parking lot before cutting
him in the chest and left arm.
The victim then threw a rock at Osorio, and took the knife
out of his hands. Both men returned to their vehicles, but
Osorio continued the attack against his employer.
Surveillance video shows Osorio ramming into his employer's
truck. Osorio then drove away, dragging a fence behind his
truck.
Osorio then turned around his vehicle and accelerated toward
the victim. The employer managed to jump out of the way at
the last moment.
In another attempt, a fence blocked the suspect from
completely running over his boss. The employer was taken to
a hospital, where he was treated and released.
Osorio has been charged with one count of attempted first-
degree murder.
*----- Lesson: Don't Nap on Railroad Tracks -----*
A Georgia teenager decided to take a rest after a leisurely
afternoon walk by draping his legs over some railroad tracks,
putting on his headphones and closing his eyes. The results
were just as bad as you expect. He was struck by a train and
lost both of his legs. Officer Andy Blimline who was the
first on the scene, said that he found 17-year-old Jacob Ohl
conscious despite his severe injuries. Blimline said that he
soon realized that the teen's legs are no longer attached to
his body. Ohl was rushed to a hospital, but doctors were
unable to reattach his legs. The teenager told police that
he did not intend to hurt himself when he sat down on the
tracks. Ohl is a senior in high school and plays for the
school orchestra jazz band. His instrument: stand-up bass.
*-- Lesson: Drugs Are OK If You Have Upper Body Strength --*
A teenage boy got a break from a police officer who allowed
him to do push-ups instead of going to jail, according to
police in Texas. Arlington police Officer Eric Ball, gave a
choice to the 17-year-old boy who was caught smoking pot,
to do push-ups or go to jail for possession of marijuana.
The boy choice to do push-ups. The boy was allowed to walk
free after doing 200 push-ups. A passerby recorded the boy
doing the push-ups, and the video was uploaded to Facebook,
where it went viral. The mother of the boy, who was not
identified, praised the officer for giving her teen the
choice of push-ups instead of going to jail. She added that
she would force her teen to do even more push-ups in order
for him to learn his lesson about smoking pot in public. He
should keep that at home like a responsible pothead.
*--------- Chris Columbus Can Suck It ---------*
South African watersport pro Chris Bertish has just achieved
a world first: he crossed the Atlantic solo, unassisted and
unsupported, on a stand-up paddle board. The big-wave surfer
and Guinness World Record holder crossed 4,500 nautical
miles, setting off from Agadir, Morocco, on December 6 and
arriving at English Harbour, Antigua, on the morning of
March 9. Bertish's stand-up paddleboard is a custom-made,
1,360-pound, 20-foot-long vessel fitted with a tiny cabin
and solar panels. For 93 days Bertish has paddled the
equivalent of a marathon a day. Along the way he also set
the record for the furthest distance traveled solo,
unsupported and unassisted over open ocean in a day
(71.96 miles).
*----------------- Land Shark -----------------*
A Walmart manager called police after finding a large shark
in one of the store's shopping carts, according to police in
Florida. A St. Johns County Sheriff's Office deputy said
that he contacted them, after seeing the dead shark in the
parking of the Walmart store. While the manager was
inspecting the store's parking lot she came across the
shopping cart and saw the dead shark inside. The manager did
not want to throw the dead shark in the garbage so she called
police. Police questioned a man who had parked an RV in the
store's parking lot near where the dead shark was found. He
told police that when he woke up in the morning, he noticed
the dead shark on the hood of his vehicle. He did not know
who placed it there. Before leaving to work, the man placed
the shark on the ground.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
,-. | .|
_ __ _ : ` :;__ :|
:_`:():._..----,' `:` ,',-.' ;
,' `..' ` _,' ` | ( `-.) /
/. ` . ` ,' ,'\ |,'`-.) /
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/ /\_)-' ,'
,'`-' , ,' SSt
A group of junior-level executives were participating in a
management training program. The seminar leader pounded home
his point about the need to make decisions and take action
on these decisions.
"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and
three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have
left on the log?"
The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."
"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five
because there is a difference between deciding to jump and
jumping."
-<>-
As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often
been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even
a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in
uniform and ask if I'm a "real" pilot. Still others
congratulate me for making it in a male-dominated field.
One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the
sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the
door and looked over at me. "My sister would be so proud of
you!" she remarked.
"Oh, is your sister an airline pilot too?" I asked.
With a confused expression the woman said, "No. She's a
dentist."
-<>-
A woman came home from the store with two cases of beer,
three bottles of wine, a bottle of whiskey and two loaves
of bread.
"Are we expecting company?" her husband asked.
"No," she replied.
"Then why did you buy so much bread?"
-<>-
Longtime friends were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
One of their sons gave a loving toast, finishing with, "and
thank you for having such a beautiful marriage."
"Thank you for making it necessary," the father joked.
In the silence that followed, his wife whispered, "Not him.
He's the second son."
-<>-
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather
forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey,
how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago,
an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."
"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck
for you, eh?"
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a
cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty
thousand, free and clear."
"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited
almost one hundred thousand dollars."
"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"
"Well, this week...nothing!"
-<>-
_.-._ ___|/|
' |_| ` __|___|/
'.___.' |___| | /
.-( v )-. | /
( _ `-' _ ) | /
____\_('=')_/+------+_|/
| | | |Siesta|
`--'--' +------+ kOs
\_|_/
My children have never been thrilled about taking naps, but
one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual. In
the middle of the tantrums, a friend called.
"What's all the commotion over there?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing," I said. "Just the siesta resistance."
-<>-
Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world,
we can see why American have not adopted it:
A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
/|\ [] |"""""""""""--__ /| |\
/ | \ || |____________--"" ( |__| )
| ( ) | || | | \ /
| .-. | || | | |12|
]( 0 )[ || | | | |
/ `-' \ || | | | |
/ /' `\ \ || | | | |
| | | | |%%| | | | |
| | | | ,'`, | | | |
| | | | |||| | | |14|
| | | | |||| | | / __ \
\ \ / / |||| | | ( | | )
`-' `-' `--' `-' \| |/
pb
>Laws They Don't Teach in Physics:
1.Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will
begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to
the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal;
someone always answers.
5.Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone/cell
phone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena -
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave
early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down
on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of
the carpet or rug.
14.Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking
about.
15.Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16.Law of Public Speaking -
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will
stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18.Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make
an appointment and you'll stay sick.
If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button
will unscrew. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!
---
...LOL! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
&&&
&& &&
&&&&. &&& .&&&&&
&& &&& &&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&& & &` && &&
.&&&&& &&&; &8
.&&&: && &` & &&
8&& & `& &&
&& .&_ oO_&.-.-.
&& ( __ -/--'
&&~ .'-__-'&
&&&~`'\`&
&&&~` _&
&&&&` &&
&&8&&&&
&&&&&&&
& &&&&&&&
&&;&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~~
.~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~
~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
~~~~ ~~~~
BP
>Psychopath Test
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down
to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It
is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom
she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed
him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him
right there, but never asked for his number and could not find
him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What was her motive for killing her sister?
[ Give this some thought before you answer]
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test
if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial
killers took part in the test and answered the question
correctly.
If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take
you off my email list.
---
..Wow! OR maybe you've seen this one before! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men,
showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000
words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this, then told her husband that women use
twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything
they say.
Looking stunned, he said, “What?”
-<>-
What Do You Want For Dinner?
__________________________________________/
------------------------------------------|
| | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | |
| *| *|Bless this|* |* | |
|_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____|
___________ | _______ |
| `| ((()) || ||
| |] ))o o(( ||_______||
|__________| ((\-/)) |_________|
| | /\\_//\ |_==___==_|
| ]__.-- //(_ _)\\ ____|_________|
"Fried Tiger!" --- \\\ /// ----|oo o oo|
| / | | (// \\) *__|| _______ |
| / \\\\| | * /_____\ _*__||| ||
| ))) ( oo| |_____| | | | __*__|||_______||
| ( oo \o/|________ | | | ______|_________|
|_ \o/ // \| |_|_|
// \ \\_| \ (_) (_)
\\_| (||| \
//\\ ||| "No, Rhinocerri Roast!"
(_)(_)(_)_)
>EATING IN THE FIFTIES/SIXTIES
Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.
Curry was a surname.
A take-away was a mathematical problem.
Oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
All chips were plain.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.
None of us had ever heard of yogurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognized food.
'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded
as being white gold.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle
feed.
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a
picture of a real one.
Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it
and charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become
a laughing stock.
The one thing that we never, ever, had on/at our table in the
fifties was elbows, hats and cell phones!
---
...HaHa! So true! Thanks Geniann!
===========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
St.Pat's Animations
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html
Maxine On St.Patrick's Day!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonpatday.html
Graffiti Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/graffiti.html
Attitude Is Everything 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude3.html
Overseer!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/overseer.html
The Sacred Secret!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/secret.html
90/10 Principle!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/giving.html
Proud Of Our Troops 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops3.html
Winter Wonderland And Life lessons!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lessons.html
When Artists Get Bored!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored.html
Enter At Your Own Risk!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/risky.html
Animal Friends 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends3.html
Pucker Up, Baby!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babypucker.html
Hippo And Tortoise!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hippo.html
Rollin On The River!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/river.html
-<>-
>Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :)
Fun Pages
http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559
-<>-
>Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon:
http://tinyurl.com/z54ad9k
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
Best commercial
https://www.youtube.com/embed/AA56LgpFbSw?rel=0
---
...Sweet! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
Pollination happens all around us. It is the reason why we have
vibrant fruit to eat and beautifully-scented flowers that blossom
in spring. Animals like hummingbirds, bats, butterflies, bees,
wasps, and other bugs play a huge role in this most prolific time
in nature, and we're more than thrilled to be able to give you a
glimpse of what it looks like up close. It will make you realize
that the beauty of nature is truly immeasurable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWC2NfXpbTQ
---
...Love it! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>From Our friend Melody :)
Mini Kenworth de Transport Jacques Auger - StumbleUpon
After 2850 hrs of work, $85,000, a Cummins engine 5 speed hand
made, we come with this mini-truck !!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQVsNG4uaL8
---
...Wowsers! Super! Thanks Melody!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Tomorrow, there's a protest across the country known as
'A Day Without Women.' In fairness, I celebrated 'A Day
Without Women' all through my 20s." -Conan O'Brien
"Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly
to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won't come
with any cash, so you'll have to borrow some from your
parents' Monopoly set." -Jimmy Fallon
"A man in Austria yesterday tried to enter a court with a
bag of cockroaches. 'Get those horrible creatures out of
here!' said the cockroaches about the lawyers." -Seth Meyers
"One of the biggest viral sensations right now is a YouTube
livestream of a pregnant giraffe waiting to give birth. The
cutest part is when she tells the father giraffe, 'You did
this to me, now put down that %$#@ camera.'" -Conan O-Brien
"President Trump last night announced the creation of a
department called VOICE, which will deal specifically with
crimes committed against Americans by immigrants. Not to be
confused with 'The Voice,' which deals with crimes against
music committed by teenagers." -Seth Meyers
"Snapchat's IPO launched on the stock market yesterday. Or,
to put it another way, something that your parents don't
understand just launched on something YOU don't understand."
-Jimmy Fallon
"A huge document leak has exposed shady financial dealings
involving famous people like Vladimir Putin and Jackie Chan.
I don't know about you but I smell a buddy movie."
-Conan O'Brien
"A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for
stealing $31 worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for
this guy. That has got to be a tough conversation once
you're in prison. 'Yeah, I'm in for armed robbery and arson,
what about you?' 'Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'"
-James Corden
"A woman was arrested after she admitted to purchasing
gasoline, driving to her ex-boyfriend's house, and using it
to set his new girlfriend's car on fire. She's now facing
five years in prison and up to three Country Music Awards."
-Seth Meyers
"In the U.K., a group of scientists successfully taught
bumblebees how to play soccer. And now, they're trying to
get American bumblebees to watch it." -Conan O-Brien
"A 100-year-old Dutch woman recently persuaded local police
to arrest her to fulfill an item on her bucket list. Cool
story for her, not so much for the victims of her double
homicide." -Seth Meyers
"The tax deadline is about five weeks away. And this year,
because of all the budget cuts at the IRS, the odds of
getting audited are lower than they've been in 13 years.
In other words, there has never been a better time to claim
your Chihuahua as a dependent." -Jimmy Kimmel
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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