Fuzzy Math And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with another Angel! Rita K Woodman has joined forces to help Keep Shangrala Alive this year with her sweet donation! Please Bless her in return and visit her site here: http://www.cinnamonandspice.com/ If you'd like to help too and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press... I first got this from our friend Debbie but when I got it again from our friend Jo Ann, I knew I had best get busy and get it done for all of us to enjoy! __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP Attitude Is Everything! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/attitude.html --- ...Wonderful! Thank You Ladies! You Do Us Soooo FINE! Attitude is so important. After my mom had her car accident, the doctor told her she'd never walk again. They also said she'd not be able to go back to work in the factory working on the seal presses like she had been doing since she lost her right arm below her elbow. She was a woman raising 4 kids by herself. She had no insurance or a big law suit to help with the expenses. So she determined that there was no way she was going to make us take care of her. Her attitude got her back walking and with the use of a claw hook extension arm she went back to work at the factory. She did most anything every one else could do. She was just not so good at writing as she used to be. She could never get her brain trained to write as good with her left hand as she used to with her right hand. Had her attitude been different then she wouldn't of had such a great life. She loved to square dance and to live life as she saw fit. She was a professional seamstress. From embroidered pillows to wedding gowns. She could sew circles around any body with two hands while using just her one! She even did upholstery for chairs and couches! So if you want to do something but think you can't, keep in mind that the only one stopping you from doing it is you. If others can do it why can't you? God is not a respector of persons and neither should you be. God says YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens you. Did God say 'some things'? No! Oh, but you can't do that because you are not of the right race, or the right gender? No! God didn't say that! YOU Can DO - Can Do - CAN Do ALL Things - ALL Things - As long as it is God Approved 'through Christ' - God approved so that Christ will 'strengthen you' - give it to you? No - Strengthen who? YOU! SO YOU - Not Christ - So YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS! Don't expect God to do it for you - YOU DO it! PRAISE God!!!!! I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. - Phil 4:13 -<>- >-->From Our Friend Del :) __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| >Mr Smith Goes To Washington Perfect movie to watch that shows what coincides with what is going on today. I watched this movie on the bus going to the DC Tea Party on 9-12! Great Movie! Full Movie: Mr. Smith Goes to Washington A naive man is appointed to fill a vacancy in the US Senate. His plans promptly collide with political corruption, but he doesn't back down. Download it or simply watch the James Stewart 1939 Movie: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-897129633961255565# --- ...I love James Stewart - His Voice is so Unique! Thank You Del! What a good movie! Be Sure To Watch it! It's FREE! Gotta Love The Net! :) ========================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Amusing Things Grade School Students Have Written In Papers: _____ The parts of speech are lungs and air. ."` `". __ / \ __ A census taker is man who goes from / & /"""""\ & \ house to house increasing the popula- / /\ /` 9 9 `\ /\ \ tion. | | /` ^ `\ | | / / \ '-' / \ \ (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot /.-' `-._____.-` `-.\ water and CO2 is cold water. _\\ //_ /' `~|\\/|~` `\ A city purifies its water supply by / , | \ | , \ filtering the water then forcing it / /| \__)/ |\ \ through an aviator. \ `-._ ~Y~__.-' / `-.__/```).-\_.-' Most of the houses in France are made / `~~|/`~` \ of plaster of Paris. / -. | \ jgs / \| \ The people who followed the Lord were / | \ called the 12 opossums. / . . . . . . . . . \ `"`"`"`"|"|"|"`"`"`"` We do not raise silk worms in the | | | United States, because we get our silk | | | from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives |~|~| more silk. |-|-| /`/`/J One of the main causes of dust is janitors. `~`~` A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it. In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. =================================================================== +---------- Bizarre Tidbits About Child Actors ------------+ Back in the "Golden Age" of TV, situation comedies present- ed audiences with the image of an ideal Middle Class America. In reality, however, many of the child actors in these "perfect" TV families had less-than-perfect lives offscreen... Father Knows Best: Billy Gray (who played the son, Bud) spent 45 days in jail on marijuana charges and later dropped out from society. He told TV Guide, "I look back on the show and see it as a lie, a lie that was sold to the American people." Lauren Chapin (who played the youngest daughter, Kathy) also had drug troubles. She became addicted to heroin and speed, and did jail time for forging a check. The Patty Duke Show: >From 1963-66, Duke starred in the popular series, but gradually the stress of playing two roles - herself and her look-alike cousin - caught up with her; she became depressed, anorexic and eventually an alcoholic and drug addict. The Partridge Family: After the show ended, Danny Bonaduce developed drug problems. By age 21, he had squandered $350,000 in savings on his cocaine habit. Susan Dey, who was 16 when the show began, later claimed to have suffered from severe anxiety which resulted in anorexia and bulimia. The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet: Fans of Ricky Nelson were shocked when his autopsy revealed that he had been freebasing cocaine just prior to the plane crash that killed him on Dec. 31, 1984 in DeKalb, Texas. Family Affair: In 1976, Annissa Jones, who played "Buffy" on the series, was found dead of an overdose after a party in Oceanside, California. The coroner reported that Jones had "the largest combination of drugs in any cases I've encountered. ============================================================ >-->From The Jokester: . . ab c A88. .d8i A8MM8. ,AH8b , . AHV "8HV' `8. b . b dHH `v 8b d b Ab b 8b 888 ` "8. J8 8: .cPNKPba.Hb 8D 88P "t 88bdP ' .8P HHHa 88 "P d8P" .dP H" `b dP ` d8" P" P Nb P" ' ' YN. db ' 8P Excuses * I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past. * I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad. * A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again. * Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned. * Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing. * I'm not at liberty to say why. * I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me. * It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details. * I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy. * I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked. * My mom used it as a dryer sheet. * My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized. * It's against my religion to do any homework. * I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays. * I felt it wasn't challenging enough. * My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished. * We had homework?! * I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah." * I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. * I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers. -<>- ..:::::::.. //////\\\\\\\ ||||||||||||| ||||||||||||| ||||||||||||| HH ||||||||||||| HH HH==================HH HH==================HH HH ############# HH HH ############# HH HH ########### HH HH ######### HH HH ####### HH HH ##### HH HH () HH \\ () // \\ () // \\ () // \\ (// \\ //)( ____\/___() ,#################.... ##################### ``` ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ unknown >The $5,000,000 Question Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $5,000,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History. The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the mic. "Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $5,000,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?" Bob nodded with a cocky confidence-the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a question all week. "Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?" Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn't believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe. "I'll try the easier part first." The M.C. nodded approvingly. "Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half." The audience silenced with gross anticipation: "Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??" -<>- | | | | | | | | RUBBER foot on a | | stick ,-""; :""-. |`--...--'J | J | J | J | | F | F \J F 7 J ;:. / . ::::... J : ""::::... F ` ":::"-..___ J ___.....____ Krogg `"F -----------""----"" """----"""---'------- >Signs Your History Teacher is Incompetent Class motto: Locate a State Capital...do a shot. Thinks Mussolini was Hitler's favorite pasta. You're pretty sure Ben Franklin didn't invent bungee jumping. Believes the mafia to be responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire. Allows you to cite Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman as a source in your Old West term paper. Thinks Prozac was responsible for bringing the nation out of the Great Depression. Focuses exclusively on how marshmallows changed history. Washington didn't defend the US against the British Invasion of the 1960's. Tells you that Columbo landed in America and discovered the pilgrims. Identifies Napoleon as the guy who figured out how to keep different flavors of ice cream from running together. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend JBR :) [POLITICS] mathemagician 1+1=2 /\ \ c") ;-/\> || kOs >Fuzzy Math?? I must be really stupid. Here is the "Cash for Clunkers" plan as I understand it. A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline. A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year of gasoline. So, the average "Cash for Clunkers" transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption per vehicle by 320 gallons per year. They claim 700,000 vehicles - so that's 224 million gallons/year. That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil. 5 million barrels of oil is about 1/4th of one day's US consumption. And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $70/bbl. So, we all consented to spending $3 billion to save $350 million. How good a deal was that ??? If that doesn't scare you enough, remember that these same folks who will soon control your health care. --- ...Wowsers! You do math good JBR! Thanks! _____ /_..._\ (0[###]0) `' `' -Lester AMC What gets Paul and me too is the waste of scrapping all those good cars and car parts! For a country who needs to be frugal right now - throwing away good money like that just doesn't equal being frugal! Ben Franklin would roll over in his grave! A Penny Saved?? We Threw Tons Away!! Literally!! ================================================================ .'"". c' )"/ __> /_ .-`_ ._'-. ( -' \ :/ )/ \\._| ( // '-/) \(, / ) ) / .'\ | /.' \| snd || || __|/ |/__ ;_._) (,__; >-->Reasons to Go to Work Naked 1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your a** in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. 5. You want to see if it's like the dream. 6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. 7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. 8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 10. No one steals your chair. 11. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources. 12. Gives "Have you seen my floppy?" a whole new meaning!! [www.getamused.com] ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Grassfire: Click below to watch John Stossel's special ABC News 20/20 report exposing the truth about ObamaCare, and then forward this message to 30-40 friends urging them to watch the video and sign our petition by clicking here: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=21409&PID=21451732 -<>- >From OneNewsNow: Thousands march in D.C. to protest Obama spending Tens of thousands of protesters fed up with government spending marched to the U.S. Capitol on Saturday, showing their disdain for the president's health care plan with slogans such as "Obamacare makes me sick" and "I'm not your ATM." http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=680126 HR 3200 provides taxpayer-funded abortions The healthcare reform bill puts taxpayers in the position of paying for abortions. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=675732 Christian attorneys defend First Amendment at schools Alliance Defense Fund is expanding its program to declare college and university campuses free-speech zones. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Education/Default.aspx?id=675736 Proposed healthcare reform 'suffers fundamental conflict' Two groups based in Washington, DC, are questioning whether the Obama administration's plans to pay for a government-run healthcare program are really workable. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=679382 Perspective: Some blacks now have doubts about Obama A recent poll indicates about a half million blacks who voted for Barack Obama now have buyer's remorse. This is meaningful. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=681210 AP Poll: Economy still troubles most Americans WASHINGTON One year after Wall Street teetered on the brink of collapse, 7 out of 10 Americans lack confidence the federal government has taken safeguards to prevent http://www.onenewsnow.com/Headlines/Default.aspx?id=681100 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Greetings fellow Bizarros: Here is the rule...when a woman in Texas asks you to do the dishes, you should do them, and if she tells you to leave you should really do it...or else you might end up like this poor fellow. Police say a 20-year-old, Fort Worth woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes. The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean. Police said the woman told the man to leave the apartment, but he refused. The woman then tried to physically remove the man and during the ensuing struggle she bit his right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts. Not satisfied, the woman then grabbed a 2-foot long sword and swung it at him, but missed. The woman was released from jail after posting a $10,000 bond. The man and woman had lived together for four months. As a matter-of-fact, let's simplify the rule. Just don't live with women from Texas. That should cover all the bases. -- Goodwill gives back $500,000 statue ----------- MIAMI - The president of Goodwill South Florida said a sculpture donated by an investment firm will be returned after it was found to be worth $500,000. Dennis Pastrana, president and chief executive officer of Goodwill South Florida, said the 2 1/2-ton bronze statue, which depicts a young ballerina, was donated to Goodwill's Miami ware- house in May by an investment firm that asked to remain anonymous, The Miami Herald reported. Pastrana said the piece was identified as the work of famed sculptor Sterett- Gittings Kelsey and officials contacted officials at the investment firm to inform them of the piece's $500,000 value. He said the firm accepted an offer to return the item and promised to compensate Goodwill some other way. _.._..,_,_ ( ) ]~,"-.-~~[ .=])' (; ([ | ]:: ' [ '=]): .) ([ |:: ' | ~~----~~ Paul Martin Howard -- Robbery victim hit with beer gift ----------- SANTA ANA, Calif. - A robbery victim in Santa Ana, Calif., is expected to recover from injuries he suffered when he was hit with a beer bottle he gave his assailant, police said. Santa Ana police Cmdr. Jeff Owens said the unidenti- fied victim was hit in the head with a beer bottle by one of two suspects whom the victim had just given two free beers, the Orange County (Calif.) Register reported. Police said the unidentified suspects stopped the victim as he was leaving a 7-Eleven with a 12-pack of beer early Thursday morning. After the two men asked for and received beers from the victim, one of the suspects smashed his bottle over the victim's head. The two suspects then fled the scene with what was left of the 12-pack. -- Dachshund, 20, may be world's oldest dog --------- SHREWSBURY, England - A British man said Guinness World Records is investigating whether his dachshund, age 20 years and six months, is the world's oldest dog. Peter Jones, 68, of Shrewsbury, England, said he believes the dachshund, Otto, is the world's oldest living dog after the death of a 21-year-old dachshund in the United States, the Daily Mail reported Thursday. "When I saw this dog had died and he was the oldest in the world, I thought Otto must be getting on to being the oldest as well," Jones said of the canine, who has reached 147 in dog years. "I thought it would be good to see if Otto is the oldest. My vet said to me that they hadn't got any older dogs going to see them. "He will follow me wherever I go and doesn't go running off. If I go out, I come back and he's sat by the door waiting. He's got a bit of arthritis but apart from that, he's quite well." Jones said he has submitted a certificate proving Otto's age to Guinness World Records. ========================================================== >-->Food for thought: ,-~***~-._.-~***~-. / \ / .--~~~--..--~~~--. \ ,' /._,/\._,/\._,/\._,\ `. ~-. \.-~ .-~ // ,-~ \/ ,* / ,* // / the R O L L I N G S T O N E S / ,**' / ,*'// / /,***' / ,**'// / /,***' / ,**'// / / ***' / ,***'// / : ~** ` ,***'/.-~ | **' / \ .' ~-.. ..-~ -Artist Unknown ~~~~~ * Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind. * You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future. * Love... and you will be loved. * All people smile in the same language. * A hug is a great gift, one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it's easy to exchange. * Everyone needs to be loved, especially when they do not deserve it. * The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity. * Laughter is liquid sunshine. * Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it. * It's important for parents to live the same things they teach. * If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for. * Happy memories never wear out. Relive them as often as you want. * Home is the place where we grumble the most, but are often treated the best. * The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow. * If anyone speaks badly of you, live so none will believe it. * Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) [Politics] >It will never happen here or will it? I was born in Cuba and was fortunate enough to come to the States in 1960, prior to the Cane Curtain descending on the Island. In 1959, a 33 year old lawyer took over. Fidel promised that things would change. They did change. He immediately took over the Banks. Then over the manufacturing, cattle, mining, as well as the utilities--electric and phones companies. He went after the media outlets that published negative reports. Pretty soon the government ran everything. NOW let's get to the schools. Fidel would often address students on live TV. Afterwards the teachers would teach about the great things of the revolution. Finally there was a complete takeover of the school system by government appointed teachers. Then it really got rough when the executions began. It was mandatory in High School to watch the live executions on TV. Some kids would faint or throw up as heads blew-up like watermelons dropped from the back of the truck, when struck by the force of 13 bullets fired from M1 Rifles. After each execution we were told "This is what happens to the enemies of the Revolution. The President of the United States addressing and encouraging students all over the land to work hard, stay in school and serve is to be applauded and commended. The Department of Education of the United States suggesting lesson plans around the "Person" of the President of the United States is to be abhorred! While in Cuba I heard my elders say many times--It will never happen here! It did. --- ...Dismal - Thanks Viv! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) /\.-./~\ (o//o)| \-._ .-"-. .~.'~ | | )`-----' \._ (").'/.| | ( /-.\ (_/-' \_/ | \ | \\ \ / / ____.-\ / )) /\| /_.-' \\ \ (( // || \\ \ \| \\ ||' // \\ (/ || _// \\ " (_/ (_/ (_/MJP " " " Old Dogs!!! One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says... 'Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story... Don't mess with the old dogs . . . age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience! Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some (of US) are just more 'youthfully challenged.' You did notice the size of the print, didn't you? --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Sandi! =================================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: _____ _..--'''@ @'''--.._ .' @_/-//-\/>/>'/ @ '. ( @ /_Takes the Cake On Coast Guard cutters, low ranking crew members take turns in the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always dropping dishes and spilling food. One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow sheet cake cooling on the counter. Determined to finally rectify past errors, the seaman made chocolate icing and carefully decorated the cake with it. Returning later, the cook began frantically looking around the galley, then shouted out, "Where did my cornbread go?" -<>- >Manners A Christian farmer spent the day in the city. In a restaurant for his meal, he sat near a group of young men. After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food, one of the young men thought he would embarrass the old gentleman. "Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?" The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!" =================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawnmower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Pam, and I found our sister attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. "I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained when she saw us. Pam suggested, "Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawnmower?" -<>- Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As we walked in, our son asked if we'd like a cold drink. Mentally patting myself on the back for teaching him to be such a gracious host, I said, "Yes, what do you have?" He walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, studied the contents, and replied, "I have pickle juice or water." -<>- _____________ __________ /\ \_____ _ (\ -=- \ |; _____|_| `\ --=-= \ \/____________/ \ -==--=- \ __ ) -==-==- ) jgs \/ ( =-==-= ( \ -=- \ /_) -=- ) `""""""""""` IN THE NEWS.... Anxious to 'include' as many minorities, religions and dis- abilities as possible, the human resources department of the University of Alberta has put up a Braille poster outside its main office. The poster has been placed inside a display case with a glass front. [This is brought to you by the same geniuses who put braille instructions on the drive up window at the bank.] -<>- Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co- worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware. As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report. "Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot." ========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| >(actual) HEADLINES OF 2004: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter (imagine that!) Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says (no, really?) Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (now that's taking things a bit far!) Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over (what a guy!) Miners Refuse to Work After Death (good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-so's!) Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (see if that works any better than a fair trial!) War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!) If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile (you think?!) Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (who would have thought!) Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide (they may be on to something!) Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!) Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge (he probably IS the battery charge!) Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (That's what he gets for eating those beans!) Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (do they taste like chicken?) Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half (Chainsaw Massacre all over again!) Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors (Boy, are they tall!) Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead (before or after?) -<>- Quotes from Abraham Lincoln: If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. -<>- Women... **** Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Now Men... ****** Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the stuffing out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. -<>- _.--"""--._ .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ >Dog Property Rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it’s in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If it’s broken, it's yours. -<>- _ |-| |~| |:| WINE AND CHEESE .'.'. / ::\ |_____| __ _ |:.:;.| <:__:> .-'o\ |_____| \ ::/ .o' O. o\ | ::| '..' |--o.--o--| | ;:| || |._._o_._.| \_____/ .''. '----' pjb A New Wine California vintners in the Napa Valley area that primarily produces Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic and will reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night. They will be marketing the new wine as Pino More. ================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: Awesome School http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gschool.html Rock Balancing Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rockbalancingart.html Wave Photography Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/waveart.html One Texas Morning http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fawn.html Worlds Largest Holes http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/holes.html Green Terror Game http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=39667&s=n Biker Takes 5 Kids To School http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=40104&s=n Hidden in Time: Mirror Mirror http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=40225&s=n -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Art and Science of Baby Names http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager On-Line Graphical Dictionary http://www.visuwords.com/ Meta-Search Site for Travelers http://www.kayak.com/ Shop Goodwill On-Line ! http://www.shopgoodwill.com/ For WebTV Users - A Plethora of Information and Links ! http://tinyurl.com/n6qbsp Google + Microsoft = Bingle ! http://tinyurl.com/lypr2x --- ...Great Links! Thanks Wesley - but ya know what is wrong with BING? I'll tell you. Search for my web site just using Shangrala - On Google you will find it on the first page but with BING even though I have submitted to them, it is not so easy to find - I am not sure on what page it is! Just not cool of MS - BING! They suck compared to good old tried and true Google! You'd never be able to find me on BING! Now that is just not right! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Pumpkin and Apple Farms http://www.chiff.com/a/pick-your-own.htm http://www.pickyourown.org/applepicking.htm The Power of Water http://tinyurl.com/km84up How Many People Are in Space Right Now ? http://tinyurl.com/o7dnwx Gunfighter http://www.buffaloschips.com/i7664.htm Guterbike http://www.buffaloschips.com/u64eh.htm Love http://www.buffaloschips.com/3r44.htm Hair Piece http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg7.htm Hang Onto That Pole http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjh.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Humor is just another defense against the universe." - Mel Brooks "If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." - Bill Lyon "I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages." - William H. Mauldin "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy "Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home." - Bill Cosby "What insight could you possibly hope to gain from a man whose I.Q. wouldn't make a respectable earthquake?" -Diane Chambers (Shelley Long), CHEERS "They have luggage stores in airports. Who forgets their suitcase? Have you ever seen a guy with an armload of shirts going, 'Hurray, a suitcase?'" --Jay Mohr "The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I've got my life." --Jerry Seinfeld "The FDA -- the Food and Drug Administration -- has set up a new procedure by which new drugs will be tested and approved in four years. It's called college." --Craig Ferguson "My father says, 'Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family.' I said, 'Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?'" --Adam Sandler Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************