Golf Club Sign And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ *~* We had A Fabulous Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month! :) ."'=-, ,.,.,_ (_____ )."=` `"=, ./_ _ \`\ `;.. / (o(o) |\=\ ; `; (_/| | \ | ;`"` | | ` ; \ .. /`,_ _.' `---' `#"#""'"#'#^ # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # jgs /#|#\ /#|#\ `"`"` `"`"` >Be Sure To Visit And Share These With All Your Family And Friends: 3D Chalk Art 8 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart8.html Wedding Fails http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/weddingfails.html Old Trains And Cars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trainsandcars.html Nap Time http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/naptime.html High Tech Toys 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys2.html Chainsaw Woodcarving 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcarving2.html Cuddle BeBe Ragdolls http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ragdolls.html Amazing Blind Artist http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blindartist.html Leaves - Poem By Alex http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/leaves.html Tornado And Rainbow http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tornadoandrainbow.html A Salute To Texas http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salutetexas.html Ray's Freedom Rock 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock2.html __..._.-. .-._...__ /.-. '-.) (.-' .-.\ \', \ / ,'/ | o'--D c--'a | \ / | | \ / ;._ _\ '-/ \-' /_ _.; .' __ `\`.-"-. .-"-.`/` __ '. .' .' '.|' ' '|.' '. '. / \ '._, ,_.' / \ ; '-._ \ / _.-' ; (| /'-.__/ \__.-'\ |) \ __ ,' '-. .-' ', __ / `/ `\.-'| '.' |'-./` \` | | '-. .-' | | | '-. ) ( .-' | jgs \ )-' '-( / '-----' '-----' ~*~ May God Abundantly Bless All Our Beloved Contributors! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: The "Dear John" Letter ________________ |.--------------.| The soldier serving overseas and far from || ,;;;-, || home was annoyed and upset when his girl || /;/))))) || wrote breaking off their engagement and || (;/ . .(( || and asking for her photograph back. || ):( > )) || || (;)\ = /( || He went out and collected from his friends || )):) .'):) || all the unwanted photographs of women that || .:(:\_(_)( || he could find, bundled them all together || /`::) `\ || and sent them to her with a note stating ||/___________\_|| the following: jgs '----------------' "Regret can not remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others." _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) Where Are We? _ .--. ( ` ) An American man, a Russian man and an African .-' `--, man were all up in a hot air balloon _..----.. ( )`-. together. After a few minutes, .'_|` _|` _|( .__, ) the Russian man put his hand down /_| _| _| _( (_, .-' through the clouds. ;| _| _| _| '-'__,--'`--' | _| _| _| _| | "Aaah!" he said. "We're _ || _| _| _| _| right over my homeland." _( `--.\_| _| _| _|/ .-' )--,| _| _|.` "How can you tell?" (__, (_ ) )_| _| / asked the American. `-.__.\ _,--'\|__|__/ jgs ;____; "I can feel the cold air." he replied. \YT/ || A few hours later the African man put |""| his hand through the clouds. "Aah we're '==' right over my homeland." he said. "How do you know that?" asked the Russian. "I can feel the heat of the desert." Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. "Aah, we're right over New York." The Russian and the African were amazed. "How do you know all of that?!" they exclaimed. The American pulled his hand up. "My watch is missing." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 1 is Dare Day and Flip a Coin Day June 2 is National Bubba Day and National Rocky Road Day June 3 is Repeat Day (I said "Repeat Day") June 4 is Applesauce Cake Day, Hug Your Cat Day, and Old Maid's Day June 5 is National Doughnut Day and World Environment Day June 6 is National Gardening Exercise Day, National Trails Day and National Yo-Yo Day June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ _ ((`'-"``""-'`)) ) - - ( / o _ o \ \ ( 0 ) / _, '-..__^__..-' ,_ (:'`'-/ \-'`':) `'-.; .;;;;;. ;.-'` ; ;;;;;;; ; / ';;;;;' \ jgs / ;._____.; \ _\ \ / /_ (((___| |___))) >Automated Voice I was on the phone trying to set up a furniture delivery. "If you would like to arrange a delivery date, please press one," the automated voice prompted me. "If you would like to confirm delivery, please press two." At that moment my three-year-old daughter let out an ear-piercing shriek. "I'm sorry," the automated voice said, "that is not a valid response." -<>- >Express Line One afternoon I spent a long time stuck on the grocery's express line behind a woman with way too many items. "I'm sorry," she told the clerk. "I guess I forgot to count the things I had in my cart." "Don't worry." the clerk replied. "Everyone behind you is counting them." -<>- >Florist Note I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, "Thanks for putting up with me so long." When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. "Just where do you think you're going?" she asked. "What do you mean?" I said. She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long." -<>- >Performance My young daughter loves to go to performances at the local high school, so when her brother was in a spelling bee, she happily came along. But halfway through, she lost interest. Leaning in to me, she whispered, "This is the most boring play I have ever seen." -<>- >Quit Smoking? Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions. "Do you smoke?" asked a paramedic. "No," he whispered. "I quit." "That's good. When did you quit?" "About an hour ago." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ___ .--. .--.-" "-' .- | / .-,` .' \ ` \ '. ! \ | ! .--. | \ '--' /.____ /`-. \__,'.' `\ __/ \`-.____.-' `\ / | `---`'-'._/-` \----' _ |,-'` / | _.-' `\ .' / |--'` / | / /\ ` | | | .\/ \ .--. __ \ | '-' '._ / `\ / jgs `\ ' |------'` \ | | \ / '._ _.' `` >Blondes Blondes are NOT stupid, we all know that hair color has nothing to do with intelligence. But the myth of the 'stupid blonde' has generated decades of great jokes. So our apologies to all the blondes out there, but today we're bringing some of the best of those classic blonde jokes for a bit of a good laugh! A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!" A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She sets it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button. A coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!" What do you call a blonde with a Chainsaw? Dead. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? You knock on the door. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth! --- ...LOL! We do love blonde jokes! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) __ _ / \_/ ) \ ` `\ ; a `-. | ) \ _..' /` <._._ / .'';_;'` \ Not Again... .' : _/ / '. __..-` / | | \/\ \._ \ \ | ``--J \ | / \ | jgs \__.'-._____.' A BIBLICAL STORY - First the Apple... A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly, neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She then hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police." Adam ate the apple, too. Men will never learn... -<>- A woman from Glasgow went to the local newspaper office to publish the obituary for her recently deceased husband. The obit editor informed her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She paused, reflected, and then said, "Well then, let it read, "Angus MacPherson died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor told her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thought it over and in a few seconds said, "In that case, let it read... "Angus MacPherson died. Golf clubs for sale." -<>- _.---._ ( _) |'o' | \^__/_ / ( \ /| \ \ (_\ /\_) / / ) / / / | \ \ jgs (__(__/ >Husband calls home: "Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They checked me over and did some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot." Wife’s Response: "Who the heck is Paula?!" -<>- .-. _ _./.- ) ( `\ .--.' '. .' `'._ | C e_ / `\ '-. e/o \_a ,_/ | \_u/ o\a | \. \/_/.-.__/ .;."-...-' \ \'-. .' \ .' / '. / '--.--' / \ | \__..-'` |) (| | \ /-. \ __ / '.""-.__.' \ ;` `\--; | \'. /`| | | | | | \ \_; | \ ))) / | '._/ jgs \ )))""` ((( / `"""` `"""` >The One Eyed Redhead A man was dining in a fancy restaurant. There was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed!!! Her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man! He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. “Oh my, I am so sorry”, the woman said as she popped her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you”. They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together. Afterwards they went to the theatre, followed by drinks and banter at a local pub. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams, and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooked a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible! “You know”, he said, “You are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet”? 'No', she replies...... (Wait for it. It's coming!!!) (The suspense is killing you, isn't it?) She said.... ......“You just happened to catch my eye” (Oh shut up, and just forward it!) --- ...TeeHee! LOL! Thanks Linda! ========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From The Tea Party News http://tinyurl.com/ojvqy6j -<>- >From Afa: News: http://www.afa.net/ FOX Network to air 'Lucifer' - portraying Satan as a good guy Sign The Petition to stop this: http://tinyurl.com/pmldjrv -<>- >From BizarreNews: There are friends, and there are friends. Then there are friends like Elijah Ray Lambert who will willingly shoot you in the chest. And with friends like those, who needs enemies? Lambert was friends with the late Miguel Martinez of Citrus Heights, California. Somewhere Miguel got hold of a bullet proof vest and decided he wanted to test it to see if it would really stop a bullet. But why put it on a mannequin or tie it to a tree when you can put it on yourself? As long as you have a friend like Lambert who is willing to pull a trigger for you. Deputies arrested Lambert for the shooting, but the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department has characterized the incident as an "unintentional killing". Martinez's brother reported that, "The bullet had actually penetrated the top of his vest," indicating that not only does Lambert have bad judgment, he is also a lousy shot. The pair were with two other friends, the police said. The group initially reported the shooting as a robbery but later confessed it was an accident. -<>- Now here's a brain teaser if I ever heard one. Nine brains inexplicably appeared earlier this week along a street in a village in New York. How the brains got there and where they came from remains a mystery. Residents discovered the brains on a Street in Gouverneur and called the police. Gouverneur police collected one of the brains and brought it to a local veterinarian for an examination. The veterinarian determined the brain had been professionally removed -- likely from a dog -- and preserved in formaldehyde. The veterinarian said that the brain was consistent with a beagle-sized brain and was in very good condition with no damage. But a chemistry professor at Clarkson University argued the specimen was possibly from a sheep, not a dog. No brain labeled Hans Delbruck was found, but there was an Abbey...someone. Regardless, police told local news outlets there was little to fear. The nine brains are believed to have been part of a collection for educational or research purposes and no criminal activity, other than littering, is suspected. *-- Seattle car burglar overlooks lottery ticket worth $1 million --* SEATTLE (UPI) - A Seattle couple said a burglar stole a pair of sunglasses from their car, but ignored something far more valuable -- a $1 million winning Powerball ticket. The couple, who requested anonymity, said they forgot to check the numbers on their Powerball ticket after it failed to win the $350 million jackpot in February's drawing. "We didn't even think about a second chance prize," the couple told Washington's Lottery officials. They said the ticket sat in their car for about three months. "Someone broke into our car a few weeks ago and stole a pair of sunglasses," the couple said. "The stolen sunglasses were actually sitting atop the winning ticket. What a close call!" The couple checked the numbers on the ticket May 14 and discovered they had won a $1 million second chance prize. "Well, we already popped a bottle of champagne! We're also planning a trip to Paris and Iceland for this year. Other than that, I think we'll just take care of our house," the couple said. The Seattle Imam's store that sold the ticket will receive a $10,000 selling bonus, the lottery said. The burglar, meanwhile, will have to make do with a pair of used sunglasses. *-- Indian police detain pigeon as 'suspected spy' from Pakistan --* BAMIYAL, India (UPI) - Indian police said they have detained a pigeon suspected of being a Pakistani spy after it was found to have a message stamped on its body. Punjab police said a 14-year-old boy in Manwal, a village close to the Pakistani border, brought the pigeon to a police station when he noticed it bore a stamped message on its wing feathers written in Urdu, the official language of Pakistan, and a Pakistani phone number. The pigeon's feathers also reportedly bore the seal of a Pakistani district in Pakistan's Punjab province. Officers at the Bamiyal police post dubbed the bird a "suspected spy" in a diary report. Police Superintendent Rakesh Kaushal said police conducted an X-ray of the white pigeon. "Nothing adverse has been found, but we have kept the bird in our custody," Kaushal told The Times of India. "This is a rare instance of a bird from Pakistan being spotted here. We have caught a few spies here. The area is sensitive, given its proximity to Jammu, where infiltration is quite common." *-- Illinois couple welcome their 100th grandchild --* QUINCY, Ill. (UPI) - An Illinois couple nearing their 60th wedding anniversary announced they have welcomed their 100th grandchild into the family. Leo and Ruth Zanger, Quincy residents who have been married for 59 years, said baby Jaxton Zanger, born April 8, marks their 46th great-grandchild and their overall 100th grandchild. The couple said they have 12 children, 53 grandchildren, 46 great-grandchildren and one great-great-grandson. "We could start our own town," Leo Zanger joked to the Quincy Herald-Whig. The couple said their large family is close-knit and most of them live in the Quincy area. They said family gatherings require a rented church hall and either 50 pounds of ham or 10 whole turkeys. "We enjoy all of the family get-togethers," Leo Zanger said. The Zangers said they enjoy watching their family grow. "All the grandkids know us," Ruth Zanger said. *-- Beekeeper in China covered with record-breaking 240 pounds of bees --* BEIJING (UPI) - A Chinese beekeeper broke a world record - by covering himself with 240 pounds of squirming bees. Gao Bingguo, of Tai'an City, in the eastern province of Shandong, began the challenge early Monday, Sky News reported. The 55-year-old veteran beekeeper has cultivated bees for more than 30 years, and was stung multiple times before breaking the world record. Around 1.1 million bees at one point weighed down on Gao, the International Business Times reported. Weighing at 240 pounds, the bees shattered a previous record of 184 pounds - also set by a Chinese beekeeper in China's inland Shaanxi province. Gao's fellow beekeepers were dressed in military camouflage pantsuits as they prepared their colleague for the battle of his lifetime. Working together, they poured the pollinating insects onto his geared body. Queen bees came first, in order to attract more of the insects to fly and land on Gao's protected head, arms and legs. Video footage showed Gao smoking a cigarette in a nonchalant manner, as thousands of bees swarmed over him then crawled over his seated body. Luo Xing, a judge at the event said, "After we checked and searched [the] database, and witnessed it at scene, we announce, Mr. Gao Bingguo successfully breaks the record." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) || __ || ||=\_`\=|| || (__/ || || | | :-"""-. ||==| \/-=-. \ || |(_|o o/ |_ || \/ " \ ,_) ||====\ ^ /__/ || ;--' `-. || / . \ ||===; \ \ || | | | || .-\ ' _/_/ |:' _;. (_ \ / .' `;\ \\_/ |_ / ||| |\\ / _)=====||| | || / /| ||/ / // \_/|| ( `-/ || ||======/ / \\ .-. jgs || \_/ \'-'/ || || `"` ||======|| || || [Politics] >Behavior Experiment You start with a cage containing four monkeys, and inside the cage you hang a banana on a string, and then you place a set of stairs under the banana. Before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. You then spray ALL the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray ALL the monkeys with cold water again. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new monkey. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, ALL of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original four monkeys, replacing it with a new monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment – with enthusiasm -- because he is now part of the "team." Then, replace a third original monkey with a new monkey, followed by the fourth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. Having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana. Why, you ask? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been! This is how today's Congress and Senate operates, and this is why, from time to time, ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME! DISCLAIMER: This is meant as no disrespect to monkeys. --- ...TeeHee! A good classic! Thanks PatDeE! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Karen :) _...._ _...._ .' '.'__/\__'. / .-. '. .' \ ; _| |_ /.'.\ ; | (_ _).-. .-. | | | | | U | | ; | | \ | ; \ \ '-')'-. / / \ '...'_.' .' / '. (__.' .' jgs '. .' `'-.-'` Where can a man buy a cap for his knee, Or the key to a lock of his hair? Can his eyes be called an academy Because there are pupils there? Is the crown of your head where jewels are found? Who travels the bridge of your nose? If you wanted to shingle the roof of your mouth, Would you use the nails on your toes? Can you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand, Or beat on the drum of your ear? Can the calf in your leg eat the corn off your toe? Then why not grow corn on the ear? Can the crook in your elbow be sent to jail? If so, just what did he do? How can you sharpen your shoulder blades? I'll be darned if I know - do you? --- ...LOL! Thanks Karen! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) .--. .-""-. |,=._\..-"""""-.' -. | \.-' .---.---. ';./ .' //o\ /o\\ '. / \'-'__ '-'/ \ | / (__) \ | \ | ( | / '. \_-.__.-_/ _.-' "--.__'.__.'__..-"; / '----' , '. .-"" ( _..-"` \ .---/ _\----(_ _.;. '--(_(_(_\--. .--/ .-"-' ,`| - ' | | | \_\_\_/ / / ' _\ .-| |_ __ /=' ' .' `. | | ./` `\ .' . | ooo___| |_|_ooo .-' \ (_'---. .---'_) / ' jgs '.__.' | | '.___.' ' . ' | | ' ' ' | | ' \| === ' . |_|-. . \| >Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland: 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT 2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP 4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. 7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU 8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. 9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. 10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF --- ...Good one! LOL! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _.-`\ _ _.-' HI \.-{_}-. .'__________\ , , _) \_Y_/ .oOo.() .'`\ _/`\ _Oo()oO()Oo_ _(_\/_(_\_/ |: _-=_= = _:| / \___/ |:=_ =-_-=_ :|_.' | | | jgs '-(@)----(@)-' (__|__) Rev up your engines and tell the crab grass to look out. The 12th annual "Mow Down Show Down Lawn Mower Campionship" was held in Avon Park, Florida earlier this year, bringing out the best and fastest in Lawnmower racing. It also brought out some colorful names. Entries included: Weedy Gonzales, Blading Saddles, Turfinator, Sodzilla and Mr. Mowjangles. -<>- A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?" Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!" -<>- Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears. The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math in school.... (or not). Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of pro- duction, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M." Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits? Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers) Teaching Math In The 2000s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Goldman Sachs determine that his profit margin is $60? -<>- .-""-._,-"""-,_.-""-. / .- , (.)_(.) , -. \ | (_ / -\_/- \ _) | '._.\ '.___. /._.' `'-.....-'` jgs ((() ())) My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?" "I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing." -<>- The woman said to her beautician as she sat down for her appointment, "When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?" "Maybe," replied beautician, "Does he drink a lot?" -<>- My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!" "Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried. "It's perfectly normal," he reassured me, "She's just having her contractions." -<>- Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry about not speaking more clearly. I've had Novocaine." "You should have used the drive-through," she said. "Why?" "Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained. -<>- A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'." -<>- At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." -<>- _.od888888888bo._ 888 .od8P` `Y8bo. 8 88 888 ,88P` `'88, .o88888 88 88 .o8888888 88 .-""-._,-"""-,_.-""-. 88 8P 8 88 88 88` 88 88/ .- , (.)_(.) , -. \88 88. 888 88 88 88| (_ / -\_/- \ _) |88 `Y8o. 88 88 88 88 88 '._.\ '.___. /._.' 88 `88 88 88 88 88 `88o. `'-.....-'` .o88` 8 .d8 88 88 88. 88 Y88o._((() ()))_.o88P 888888P` 8888 8888 Y8888`888 `'YJGS8888888888P'` http://www.oska.com/oska0048.htm Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH! Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 25 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Life's Little Oops 11 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Aww Animals 6!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals6.html Maxine Humor!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor.html Auto MotorPlex!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/automotorplex.html Play With Harley!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/harley.html Luxury Golf Carts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfcarts.html Life's Little Oops 10!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops10.html Truth In Advertising!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads.html Pets Left Home Alone!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html Longleat's Monkey Shines!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monkeyshines.html MacGyver - How To Do It 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver4.html What Your GPS Won't Show You! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gps.html -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) The Smart or Stoopid Quiz, by flashbynight.com, a simple and fun IQ test http://www.flashbynight.com/test/ Handicapped Parking Fraud - Handicapped Parking Violators - Help Make a Difference address means: | English Vocabulary | Play online, learn online and feed the hungry | Freerice.com http://freerice.com/#/english-vocabulary/1364 Eternal Sunset - Backstage - All current sunset webcams, interactive and real-time maps, and webcam contribution http://www.eternalsunset.net/more.php http://www.handicappedfraud.org/ Iceland By Drone http://biggeekdad.com/2014/10/iceland-drone/ --- ...Great Links! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) The incredible story of Buddy the German Shepherd who led an Alaska State Trooper to a house fire after his GPS failed. When the fire began Buddy was let loose by his owner and ran for help. When the State Trooper saw Buddy on the road he realized the dog was trying to lead him to the fire so he let his mushing skills kick in and followed Buddy to the fire. It isn't instinctive for any animal to run towards a fire so Buddy is truly a hero dog in Alaska. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JUf0VYjn1A&feature=player_embedded This video, made in Thailand, really touched my heart. It brings to light the real heroes of every day life. We don't usually notice them, they remain off the cameras, they look like anyone else on the street. But they make this world a better, more tolerable place to live in, and for that, I thank them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaWA2GbcnJU&feature=player_embedded This is so real you would really believe it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) The bigger apple: Photographer recreates oldest surviving photos of New York City to document how it has changed in 140 years http://tinyurl.com/o599a6v That's crazy! I got 12 right even though I didn't know one answer. Who Said It: Lisa Simpson Or Hillary Clinton? http://distractify.com/beth-buczynski/who-said-it-lisa-simpson-or-hillary-clinton/ --- ...Cool! Thanks Karen! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Need a good painter - This guy should qualify! Wall Mural Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart.html I wish our news media would talk like this. If only everyone in the senate could see this! What Egyptian TV commentators think of Obama. Muslim world reacts to Obama's latest speech - IPhoneConservative https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXodRLLkth4&feature=youtu.be Bird at Knoxville Zoo. Turn on your speakers. This is soooooooo great! https://www.youtube.com/embed/nbrTOcUnjNY Amazing Sailplane http://player.vimeo.com/video/39325401 Voter IQ Test This is a terrific test. And it shows results in a number of ways. It surely indicates that the majority of Americans don't know what's going on. It's astonishing that so many people got less than half right. The results say that 80% of the (voting) public doesn't have a clue, and that's pretty scary. There are no tricks here – just a simple test to see if you are current on your information. This is quite a good quiz and the results are somewhat shocking. Test your knowledge with the challenge of 12 questions, then be ready to shudder when you see how others did: If you get less than half correct, please cancel your voter registration. {Follow The Link} Test YourNews IQ – Pew ResearchCenter http://pewresearch.org/politicalquiz/quiz/index.php --- ...Surprised I did so well. Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment." --Ira Gassen "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." --Mark Twain "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because the are generally the same people." --Gilbert Keith Chesterton "Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." --Garrison Keillor "I love those signs along the highway that say, 'Litter Removal Next 2 Miles.' That's when I start chucking my trash out the window." --Scott Wood "I have a detached retina. Actually, it's not detached. It's more emotionally unavailable." --Nick Arnette "Scientists have discovered how to restore sight to blind mice. Next up, the scientists will try to restore the homes of three little pigs." -Conan O'Brien "According to a list by 'Business Insider,' Washington University in St. Louis is the college with the best food. While the college with the worst food is the Olive Garden's culinary institute." -Seth Meyers "Whole Foods is planning on opening a new chain of stores that carry lower-priced natural foods aimed at millennials. It's even got a catchy name: Trader Joe's." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************