Gotta Love Math And More ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Group email address:
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or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
.---.
/ ,-- \
.--. ( (^_^) ) .--.
,' \ (.-`-'(_) / `.
/ `-/ \ `. \-' \
: (_,' . / (.\_ ") \ . `._) :
| `-'(_,\ \ / /._)`-' |
| . `.\,O,'.' . : |
| . : ! /\_ /\ ! . ! |
| ! |-'-| : ""T"" : |-'-| | |
| |-' `-'| H |`-' `-| |
`-' | H .:| `-'
| . H !||
| : H :!|
| ! H !||
| | H |||
| | H ||| Ojo 98
/_,'V.L|.\
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010
Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click
on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up.
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
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OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
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*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY!
================
>-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This one comes from our friend Johanna. This is an old new
one. It is absolutely amazing that it was all caught by a
photographer at the time! I am so glad Johanna sent it to
us so we can have it available to share...
___ ___ ___ ___ Doug Wilson
______/ /___/ /___/ /___/ /__________
\ = : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : /
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rollin' On The River
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/river.html
-<>-
>-->FREE Biblestudy Class...
, ,
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|===| |/|
| B |/| |
| I | | |
| B | | |
| L | /
| E | /
|===|/
jgs '---'
I want to make sure you all understand how cool this is.
The people at TruthOrTradition.com are making available their
almost 16 hour Christian foundational class Free to every one
to download copy/and or listen to. That's 24 mp3 files AND also
their pdf study guide to go along with it!
Don't be fooled into thinking this is just the baby stuff of
the Word of God. This is the foundations of what every Christian
needs to know and will need to use in their every day life!
Over and Over Again - Instructions for Powerful Christian Living!
How awesome and generous of them to do this! It blows my mind!
Any of you who are able to donate to their biblical outreach,
I pray that you do so and may God fully Bless you as you do!
~*~ Remember - THAT'S THEIR ENTIRE FOUNDATIONAL CLASS - FREE!
, ,
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|~~~| | |
|===| |/|
| B |/| |
| I | | |
| B | | |
| L | /
| E | /
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jgs '---'
>-->Awesome News From Our Friends At TruthOrTradition:
Hello and God bless you!
We are excited to announce that we have made our "New Life in Christ:
Foundations for Powerful Christian Living" audio class available online
for free!
This class will introduce you to the foundations of biblical study and
Christian living. It covers all the topics necessary to give a beginning
student the tools needed to understand and apply biblical truth in
everyday life.
Each of the 24 sessions is just under 39 minutes. The online class
comes with a comprehensive PDF syllabus and further study links.
Thanks to the support of our partners and contributors, people all over
the globe can now listen to this foundational class for free. We have
already heard from a student in a university in the Philippines and a
saint from the United Kingdom who have already begun the online class.
To listen to this class simply visit
http://www.TruthOrTradition.com/audio
(Scroll down to the free online seminars)
We also have a new video series on "Manners & Customs in the Bible" at:
http://www.TruthOrTradition.com/series2
We will be adding more videos to it each week for the next few weeks.
If you like what we are doing and you would like to help us continue
to spread the Gospel all over the globe, please consider sowing into
our ministry at http://www.STFonline.org/donate
(PayPal and all major credit cards accepted).
We trust this free online class and video series is a blessing to you!
God bless you!
The Staff of Spirit & Truth Fellowship International
http://www.STFonline.org
====================================================================
>-->From The FunnyBone: The Famous Sea Captain
_.--.
_.-'_:-'|| Once upon a time there was a famous sea
_.-'_.-::::'|| captain. This captain was very successful
_.-:'_.-::::::' || at what he did; for years he guided
.'`-.-:::::::' || merchant ships all over the world. Never
/.'`;|:::::::' ||_ did stormy seas or pirates get the best
|| ||::::::' _.;._'-._ of him. He was admired by his
|| ||:::::' _.-!oo @.!-._'-. crew and fellow captains.
\'. ||:::::.-!()oo @!()@.-'_.|
'.'-;|:.-'.&$@.& ()$%-'o.'\U|| However, there was one thing
`>'-.!@%()@'@_%-'_.-o _.|'|| different about this captain.
||-._'-.@.-'_.-' _.-o |'|| Every morning he went through
||=[ '-._.-\U/.-' o |'|| a strange ritual. He would
|| '-.]=|| |'| o |'|| lock himself in his captain's
|| || |'| _| '; quarters and open a small safe.
|| || |'| _.-'_.-' In the safe was an envelope
|'-._ || |'|_.-'_.-' with a piece of paper inside. He
jgs '-._'-.|| |' `_.-' would stare at the paper for a minute,
'-.||_/.-' then lock it back up. After, he would go
about his daily duties.
;~
For years this went on, and his ./|\.
crew became very curious. Was ./ /| `\.
it a treasure map? Was it a / | | `\.
letter from a long lost love? | | | `\.
Everyone speculated about the | \| `\.
contents of the strange envelope. . `----|__________\.
\-----''----.....___
One day the captain died at jgs \ ""/
sea. After laying the ~^~^~^~^~^`~^~^`^~^~^`^~^~^
captain's body to rest, the ~^~^~`~~^~^`~^~^~`~~^~^~
first mate led the entire crew
into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope,
opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four
words were on the paper, two on two lines:
"Port Left, Starboard Right"
==================================================================
+------------------ Bizarre Salt Facts --------------------+
If the world's oceans evaporated, enough salt would be crys-
tallized to cover Britain to a depth of 50 miles.
Being hygroscopic, salt spread on dusty floors in equestrian
centers and indoor arenas retains moisture and keeps down
dust.
Until recently, salt bars were the standard currency of
Ethiopia.
In ancient Greece, slaves were traded for salt, hence the
expression "not worth his salt".
In his painting The Last Supper, Leonardo da Vinci put an
over turned salt cellar in front of the ill-fated Judas.
In old Japanese theaters, salt was sprinkled on the stage
before performances to prevent evil spirits from casting a
spell on the actors and ruining the play.
In Arab countries salt was used to seal a bargain, and also
as a sign of friendship.
The Druids used salt in their rituals at Stonehenge. It is
thought that this was as a symbol of the life-giving fruits
of the earth.
================================================================
>-->From our Friend James :)
James: A love story...
The Other Side - Our Daily Bread
http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml
---
...Yeah not to many liked him Thanks James!
-<>-
___
,-'" "`-.
,'_ `.
/ / \ ,- \
__ | \_0 --- |
/ | | |
\ \ `--.______,-/ |
___) \ ,--"" ,/ |
/ _ \ \-_____,- /
\__-/ \ | `. ,'
\___/ < ´--------'
\__/\ | Wny
\__//
the only cereal you should be eating is "Raisin Bran"...
I saw it in a commercial...!
---
...it must be the fiber - going to your head LOL! ;)
-<>-
1+1=2 /\
\ c")
;-/\>
||
kOs
>Beauty of Mathematics!!!!!!!
1 x 8 + 1= 9
12 x 8 + 2= 98
123 x 8 + 3= 987
1234 x 8 + 4= 9876
12345 x 8 + 5= 98765
123456 x 8 + 6= 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7= 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8= 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9= 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Mind Boggling...
Now, take a look at this...
_____________________
| _________________ |
| | JO 0. | |
| |_________________| |
| ___ ___ ___ ___ |
| | 7 | 8 | 9 | | + | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | 4 | 5 | 6 | | - | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | 1 | 2 | 3 | | x | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
| | . | 0 | = | | / | |
| |___|___|___| |___| |
|_____________________|
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they
are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%...
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100%in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
If you find this interesting share it with your friends & loved ones.
Have a nice day & God bless you
---
...Wowsers! I'm glad you figured all this out James! Thanks!
==================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Viv :)
.--------------.
.---' o . `---.
.-' . O . . `-.
.-' @@@@@@ . `-.
.'@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ . `.
.'@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ `.
/@@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ O \
/ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@ @@ . \
/@ o @@@@@@@@@@@ . @@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@ \
/@@@ . @@@@@@ o @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@@@ \
/@@@@@ @ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ \
|@@@@@ O `.-./ . . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ |
/ @@@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ . \ Full Moon +
|@ @@@@ . @ @ ` @ @@ . @@@@@@ | 0 5:15:36
| @@ o @@ . @@@@@@ | Last Quarter-
| . @ @ @ o @@ o @@@@@@. | 7 3:55:27
\ @ @ @ .-. @@@@ @@@ /
| @ @ @ `-' . @@@@ . . |
\ . o @ @@@@ . @@ . . /
\ @@@ @@@@@@ . o /
\ @@@@@ @@\@@ / O . /
\ o @@@ \ \ / __ . . .--. /
\ . . \.-.--- `--' /
`. `-' . .'
`. o / | ` O . .'
`-. / | o .-'
`-. . . .-'
`---. . .---'
`--------------'
unknown
>The Love Of God Knows NO Bounds!!
Communion on the Moon: July 20th, 1969
Forty years ago two human beings changed history by walking on the
surface of the moon. But what happened before Buzz Aldrin (pictured in
the LM, left) and Neil Armstrong exited the Lunar Module is perhaps even
more amazing, if only because so few people know about it.
I’m talking about the fact that Buzz Aldrin took communion on the
surface of the moon. Some months after his return, he wrote about it in
Guideposts magazine. And a few years ago I had the privilege of meeting
him myself. (See photo below.) I asked him about it and he confirmed
the story to me, and I wrote about in my book Everything You Always
Wanted to Know About God (But Were Afraid to Ask).
The background to the story is that Aldrin was an elder at his
Presbyterian Church in Texas during this period in his life, and knowing
that he would soon be doing something unprecedented in human history, he
felt he should mark the occasion somehow, and he asked his pastor to
help him. And so the pastor consecrated a communion wafer and a small
vial of communion wine. And Buzz Aldrin took them with him out of the
Earth’s orbit and on to the surface of the moon.
He and Armstrong had only been on the lunar surface for a few minutes
when Aldrin made the following public statement: “This is the LM pilot.
I’d like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in,
whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and contemplate
the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own
way.” He then ended radio communication and there, on the silent
surface of the moon, 250,000 miles from home, he read a verse from the
Gospel of John, and he took communion. Here is his own account of what
happened:
“In the radio blackout, I opened the little plastic packages which
contained the bread and the wine. I poured the wine into the chalice our
church had given me. In the one-sixth gravity of the moon, the wine
slowly curled and gracefully came up the side of the cup. Then I read
the Scripture, ‘I am the vine, you are the branches. Whosoever abides in
me will bring forth much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.’ I
had intended to read my communion passage back to earth, but at the last
minute [they] had requested that I not do this. NASA was already
embroiled in a legal battle with Madelyn Murray O’Hare, the celebrated
opponent of religion, over the Apollo 8 crew reading from Genesis while
orbiting the moon at Christmas. I agreed reluctantly. …I ate the tiny
Host and swallowed the wine. I gave thanks for the intelligence and
spirit that had brought two young pilots to the Sea of Tranquility. It
was interesting for me to think: the very first liquid ever poured on
the moon, and the very first food eaten there, were the communion
elements.”
And of course, it’s interesting to think that some of the first words
spoken on the moon were the words of Jesus Christ, who made the Earth
and the moon — and Who, in the immortal words of Dante, is Himself the
“Love that moves the Sun and other stars.”
---
...Sweet! Thanks Viv!
====================================================================
>-->In The 'Worldly News':
>From Conservative Outpost:
>Founding Fathers MIA in the classroom?
As hard (or easy) as it may be to believe, the education establishment
in North Carolina is proposing new standards that would eliminate the
teaching of any American history prior to 1877 to high school seniors.
Yes, really.
Of course, the people pushing these changes have a perfectly logical
explanation...
We are certainly not trying to go away from American history," Rebecca
Garland, the chief academic officer for North Carolina Department of
Public Instruction, told Fox News. "What we are trying to do is figure
out a way to teach it where students are connected to it, where they see
the big idea, where they are able to make connections and draw
relationships between parts of our history and the present day."
As the North Carolina curriculum stands now, ninth-grade students take
world history, 10th-graders study civics and economics and 11th-graders
take U.S. history going back to the country's founding.
READ MORE>>>
http://www.conservativeoutpost.com/founding_fathers_mia_classroom
>How serious is Obama about terrorism?
Just how serious is our new President about dealing with terrorism?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Thanks to Barack Obama, we now live in a country where you can do almost
as much time in prison for brandishing a knife in a failed robbery as
for attempting to murder three-hundred innocent men, women and children.
Don’t believe me? This past Christmas, a man in Sandy Creek, NY used a
knife in an attempted robbery of a Chinese restaurant and, if convicted,
he could face up to twenty-five years in the grey bar motel. On that
same day, the now infamous underwear bomber, after failing to go boom,
was mirandized and will likely face anywhere from twenty years to life
in prison, (if convicted on all counts as opposed to getting off on an
insane fashion defense).
What does it take for this administration to understand we can’t fight a
war with Miranda rights? Does the next would-be assassin have to
succeed? Obviously not, as we’re only a few months removed from the
last one actually succeeding on an Army base in Texas. Twelve dead
bodies later and the first thing they tell the next terrorist is “you
have the right to remain silent”? Insanity. Worse yet, he took their
advice, especially after he got his court appointed attorney, courtesy
of the US taxpayer.
Read More:
http://www.conservativeoutpost.com/how_serious_obama_about_terrorism
Obanostic… Bohica – Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!
To paraphrase Sarah Palin, “How’s that hopey changey thing workin’ out
for ya?”
Mr ‘No family making less than 250,000.00 dollars will see a tax
increase’.. ad nauseum. Now Mr Presidential Chameleon has come up with
another mind-torturing shape change. Our wonderful leader has discovered
that he is ‘AGNOSTIC’ to tax increases for the “middle class”, whatever
his definition of that may be this week.
Our nouveau deficit hawk is fresh from his most recent bi-partisan
entrapment attempt, complaining that the Republicans didn’t want to come
out and play. Obama was seeking political cover for his latest money
pig-out, asking for EIGHTY BILLION dollars for ‘jobs’. If you’re a
Democrat you know you’re in trouble when one of your own statist media
organs (AP) looks at your ‘jobs’ bill and says it won’t create many
jobs.
Knowing that the Democrats were only too happy to set them up as being
the party of ‘NO’, the Republicans neatly sidestepped the ploy.
READ MORE>>>
http://tinyurl.com/ygehfgm
>From BizarreNews:
-- Class ring found after nearly 20 years ----------
ORLANDO, Fla. - A Florida graduate who lost his 1989 class
ring when it fell from a cruise ship 21 years ago said an
Ohio woman called to say she found the ring. Tom Whitney
of Orlando, who accidentally dropped the 1989 West Orange
High ring from a Port Canaveral-based cruise ship the year
of his graduation, said he received an e-mail last Monday
from a woman who said she believed the ring had been found,
The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Monday. "It was just
this Monday, and I got a message from a woman who said she
has my ring," Whitney said. The message said the ring was
found by the woman's metal detector-wielding father along
Florida's Daytona Beach.
-- Strip club raises funds for Haiti relief --------
WATERVILLE, Ohio - An Ohio strip club said it raised
nearly $1,000 during a "Lap dances for Haiti" charity
event. Bosses at Marilyn's on Monroe, which does not
actually allow lap dances, said all the money from the
club's $10 cover charge Sunday would go to Hope, or
ISOH/IMPACT, a charity based in Waterville, Ohio, that
is participating in Haitian earthquake relief efforts,
the Toledo Blade reported. General Manager Kenny
Soprano said local businesses wanted to give back to
the community. "We'd been racking our brains for about
a month or so, thinking about what we could do," he
said. "You don't hear much about strip clubs giving
back to the community." I wonder if the money was all
in singles?
>From Archives from the CoffeeBreak:
Mayor, in newsletter, offends tourists
Belmar, N.J., Mayor Ken Pringle has angered some residents
of New York's Staten Island Borough with comments in a
newsletter about women from the borough. Pringle wrote in
his July 4 newsletter that an "SI girl behaving badly"
caused a ruckus at a Belmar club, the Staten Island Advance
reported Thursday. "As the Staten Island girl was pummeling
the Boonton girl's face, she used the hand she was still
holding her drink glass in," the mayor wrote. "Now, we're
not sure if the glass was stuck to her hand cause of all
the hair spray or if this is a technique Staten Island
girls learn in Brownies, but we are thankful she left her
brass knuckles and straight razor in her other purse."
The mayor also made references to "guidos" -- often used
as a derogatory term for young Italian males -- saying
they are "as welcome as, oh, Canada geese." The slurs
led one Staten Island councilman to suggest his
constituents "avoid (Pringle's) town like the plague."
Mario Flotta of Staten Island, who said he frequently
visits Belmar, said he was shocked and outraged by the
mayor's comments. "It's surprising to know that a place
where tourism thrives and pays for pretty much everything
around here, that someone would make comments like this,"
he said.
Pope prays during Last Supper staging
Pope Benedict XVI attended a staging of the Stations of the
Cross, which trace the last hours of Jesus, Friday during
World Youth Day celebrations in Sydney. The pontiff
appeared at St. Mary's Cathedral as part of the
re-enactment of the "Last Supper," the Australian
Broadcasting Corp. reported. He began with a prayer.
"Lord many people lack the food and drink to bring true
joy. They do not know or have forgotten how you wish to
meet them at the Eucharist and share with them your
humanity and divinity," Benedict said. About 80 performers
participated in the pageant at various Sydney landmarks as
part of the World Youth Day celebrations. A group of
people tried to draw attention to the issue of sexual
abuse by Roman Catholic priests was told it had to move
from one location in Sydney's Hyde Park to another to
accommodate security measures for the pilgrims. On
Saturday, the pope is to join a vigil of tens of thousands
of Catholic youths who will sleep out at Randwick
racecourse, The Sydney Morning Herald reported. Up to
500,000 people are expected to attend the Sunday mass
celebrated by Pope Benedict, the Herald reported.
Mandela plans quiet day as he turns 90
Former South African President Nelson Mandela planned to
spend his 90th birthday Friday quietly with his family.
But the festivities in Qunu, his home village in the
southeast of the country, have mushroomed, the BBC reports.
There will be a birthday dinner for 500 guests Saturday, a
concert and a soccer festival. Mandela, the African
National Congress leader who spent 27 years as a prisoner
on Robben Island, is one of the most honored men in the
world. His 90th birthday has already been marked by a
concert in London and other international events. One of
those who paid tribute to Mandela on the eve of his
birthday was F.W. DeKlerk, the last white president of
South Africa. "After his inauguration, Nelson Mandela
used his personal charm to promote reconciliation and to
mold our widely diverse communities into an emerging
multicultural nation," DeKlerk told reporters Thursday.
"This, I believe, will be seen as his greatest legacy."
=============================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
(.,------...__
_.'" `.
.' .' `, `. `. `
. .' .'/''--...__`. \
. .--.`. ' "-. '. |
'' .' _.' .()) .--":/
''( \_\ ' (()(
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) .____.-'
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.' \( \ /|/ `.
.' \__/ `.
/ | o | \
| | |
jro
>Team Spirit
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players,
"Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand what matters is our true sportsmanship."?
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at
first, you don't argue with, curse at, or attack the umpire. Do you
understand this?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your
mother."
-<>-
>You KNOW you are from CALIFORNIA when --
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation
in understandable English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
14. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about
"STORM WATCH 2000."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all
busy with their cell phones or pagers.
16. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to
avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
18. You AND your dog have therapists.
-<>-
>The Funeral:
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At
the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out
when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a
faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually
alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a
ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again
carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the
husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
-<>-
____
SSSS____.
(WW);;;;;\
`WW'____ | ,_____
UU ||||\ \___/,---. )
UU |||||\____/||| //
UU ||||||||||||" //
UU |||||||||||' //
UU |||||||||" //
UU ||||||||' //
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(~~~~~~~~~~~~]""'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ferenc Riesz
>GROUCHO MARX HAD SOME OF THE BEST LINES...
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let
that fool you. He really is an idiot.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make
an exception.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was
convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was
glad to get rid of it.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done
for me?
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
================================================================
>-->From SermondFodder:
\_ _/
_(_)(_)_
==|.------.|===
|| ||
|`------'|cjr
The Kool-Aid Stand
Carl A. Boyle, a sales representative, was driving home when he saw a
group of young children selling Kool-Aid on a corner in his
neighborhood. They had posted the typical hand scrawled sign over
their stand: "Kool-Aid, 10 cents." Carl was intrigued. He pulled over
to the curb. A young man approached and asked if he would like
strawberry or grape Kool-Aid. Carl placed his order and handed the
boy a quarter. After much deliberation, the children determined he
had some change coming and rifled through their cigar box until they
finally came up with the correct amount. The boy returned with the
change, then stood by the side of the car. He asked if Carl was
finished drinking. "Just about," said Carl. "Why?" "That's the only
cup we have, "answered the boy, "and we need it back to stay in
business."
>From http://www.sermons.com/
======
By way of the Sermon Fodder list. For a regular dose of Christian
Humor and a modern-day parable go to www.sermonfodder.com and click
the icon at the bottom to be added to our merry group.
======================================
Worth Repeating.....
If you think of the 32 to 34 parables Jesus told, which would you say
are at the top of the list that everyone knows? Certainly a top
contender would be the story of the Prodigal Son. Why do you think
it has such popular appeal? It's because there is likely a little
prodigal son in all of us.
>From http://www.rbc.org/radio-tv/discover-the-
word/2007/07/04/program.aspx
=====================================
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>Blessed Are the Focused
By Leonard Sweet
Proverbs 4: 1-4
This is a tough time to be a parent because of all the competing
claims on our time, energy, and money. The typical parent, mother or
father, could be responding to all of the following claims
simultaneously:
The Parent Teacher Organization needs a new treasurer, and you are
nominated.
One of the church leaders begs you to sign on for another year as a
Sunday School teacher.
The president of the Civitan Club calls and begs you to be chairman
of fruitcake sales this year, and reminds you of all the good causes
this money supports.
The cub scouts are desperate for another leader; unless one is found,
a den will have to be discontinued.
You just learned at work that a coming retirement will cause some
reshuffling. A branch manager's position will open up. Someone who
takes on extra projects and shows lots of enthusiasm is going to move
up. It could be you.
The president of United Way begs you to coordinate the gifts from
major companies in your area. He reminds you of the agencies
depending on these funds.
Then, as you face all these choices, you glance at that picture of
your family on your desk. The children are growing so fast. Your
spouse, only half in jest, suggests that she has to make an
appointment to see you. Don't they have legitimate claims on you?
Take heart, parents, there is help for you in the scriptures. My
friend from Texas, Max Lucado, helped me discover four important
words in Matthew 14:22: "Jesus dismissed the crowd."
This wasn't just any crowd. This was about 10,000 people who had
heard Jesus teach, had seen him heal the sick, had watched him
produce enough food miraculously to feed them all. This crowd was
ready to make him king.
But Jesus dismissed them! Why? Read verse 23: "After he had dismissed
them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray."
He said no to a good opportunity in order to say yes to a better one.
It was a deliberate choice to honor his priorities. Jesus' first
responsibility was not to satisfy a crowd but to be faithful to his
heavenly Father.
On another occasion Jesus said, "Blessed are the meek." We don't like
that word "meek." It suggests to us weakness or being wishy-washy or
wimpy. But that's not what it means. The Greek word for meek used in
the Bible is the same word used to describe a wild stallion that has
been trained for the saddle. It means power under control, strength
with direction. It means to be focused. Blessed are the focused,
those who know their priorities and honor them.
Did you know that there is approximately the same amount of gunpowder
in a firecracker as in a rifle shell? But the firecracker is
unfocused. It just makes a big noise and accomplishes nothing. The
rifle shell, on the other hand, focuses that power in a specific
direction and delivers an enormous punch.
You can be a firecracker Christian or a rifle shot Christian. It's a
matter of focus. St. Paul was a highly focused, rifle shot Christian.
He declared, "I press toward the mark for the high call of God in
Christ Jesus."
You can be a firecracker parent or a rifle-shot parent. One makes a
lot of noise. The other gets results. It's a matter of focus.
Let me suggest three truths that may help parents focus on healthy
priorities.
A Parent Is a Role Model 24 Hours a Day.
Nothing Can Substitute for a Parent's Presence.
No One Can Lead a Child to God as Well as a Parent.
>From www.sermons.com
===============================================================
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Signs an NBA Game Is Fixed
-|
-' |
-' | __
==wkm=====|'\/ ()
/|
`O
/`
:
/\
\ \
` `
____________________________________
///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\
10. Game begins 20 minutes before visiting team arrives
9. Tip-off always goes to the player with the largest salary
8. At the end of the first quarter, the score is 179 to 2
7. Missed three-pointers count for two points if they're
"pretty close"
6. One of the Laker Girls looks suspiciously like Pete Rose
5. Whenever he's open, referee takes a shot
4. Scoreboard has disclaimer: "All Scores Approximate"
3. The team loses even though it led in points, delegates,
and the popular vote
2. Jack Nicholson scores 25 points from his seat
1. The Knicks win
==============================================================
>-->Laws of Cat Physics
_ ___ _.--.
\`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'`
/ ' ` , __.--'
)/' _/ \ `-_, /
`-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ', fsc/as
_.-'_./ {_.' ; /
{_.-``-' {_/
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.
_..
/}_{\ /.-'
( a a )-.___...-'/
==._.== ;
\ i _..._ /,
{_;/ {_// fsc
Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
_._ _,-'""`-._
(,-.`._,'( |\`-/|
`-.-' \ )-`( , o o)
-bf- `- \`_`"'-
Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
you he can.
(`,---.') (\
(w,_,w) ))
-=>_Y_<=- _,;'
/`"'\.-'.'
.' `<'
| ; ; |
|`, , |
\ ;`; / pb
||,||
/|| ||\
(,|( )|,)
(,,Y,,)
Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often
the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
) _. mmeeoowwrr!
(___)''
/ ,_,/
/'"\ )\
itz
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to
the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest
him or her.
.^----^.
(= o O =)
(___V__)
cf _|==|_
___/' |--| |
/ ,._| | | '
| \__ |__}-|__}
\___)`
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't
Matter.
/\____/\ __
.' """" `,-' `--.__
__,- : - - ; " :: `-. -.__
,-sssss `._ `' _,'" ,'~~~::`.sssss-.
|ssssss ,' ,_`--'_ __,' :: ` `.ssssss|
|sssssss `-._____~ `,,'_______,---_;; ssssss|
|ssssssssss `--'~{__ ____ ,'ssssss|
`-ssssssssssssssssss ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssss.-'
`---.sssssssssssssssssssss.---' Susie Oviatt
Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a cat is
present.
._
.-' `-.
.-' \
; .-'\ ;
`._.' ; |
| |
; :
; :
; :
/ /
; : ,
; | .-"7|
.-'" : .-' .' :
.-' \ .' .' `.
.' `-. ""-.-'`"" `",`-._..--"7
; . `-.J `-, ;"`.;|,_, ;
_.' | `"" `. ."""--. o \:.-. _.'
."" : ,--`; , `--/}o,' ;
; .___.' / ,--.`-. `-..7_.- /_
\ : `..__.._; .'__; `---..__.-'-.`"-,
.' `--. | \_; \' `-._.-") \\ `-,
`. -.`_): `. `-"""`. ;__.' ;/ ; "
`-.__7" `-..._.'`7 -._;' ``"-''
`--.,__.' fsc
Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire
for her to do something.
|\ _,,,---,,_
/,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_
|,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'
'---''(_/--' `-'\_) fL
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
_.---.
|\---/| / ) ca|
------------; |-/ /|foo|---
) (' / `---'
===========( ,'==========
|| _ | |
|| o/ ) | | o
|| ( ( / ;
|| \ `._/ /
|| `._ /|
|| |\ _/||
__||_____.' ) |__||____________
________\ | |_________________
\ \ `-.
`-`---' hjw
Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
come along and take out something good to eat.
,
,-. _,---._ __ / \
/ ) .-' `./ / \
( ( ,' `/ /|
\ `-" \'\ / |
`. , \ \ / |
/`. ,'-`----Y |
( ; | '
| ,-. ,-' | /
| | ( | hjw | /
) | \ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within
the earliest possible nanosecond.
__..--''``\--....___ _..,_
///// _.-' .-/"; ` ``<._ ``-+'~=. ////
///_.-' _..--.'- \ `(^) ) //
// ((..-' // (< - ;_..__ ; `' //
////////////// `-._,_)'//////``--...____..-' /////
//////////////////////////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////////////////////
Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in
direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
==============================================================
>-->You know you work for the government when...
.---. .---.
( -o- )---( -o- )
;-...-` `-...-;
/ \
/ \
| /_ _\ |
\`'.`'"--.....--"'`.'`/
\ '. `._.` .' /
_.-''. `-.,___,.-` .''-._
`--._ `'-._______.-'` _.--`
jgs / \
/.-'`\ .'. /`'-.\
` '.' '.' `
* The process becomes more important than the product
* You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting
on a subject you know nothing about
* You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being
there
* You stop raising issues/problems because you know you
will be the one answering them.
* You fly first class across the country to attend a
conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that
the project does not have enough money.
* You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job
title is an acronym.
* You understand the rationalization of an acronym
composed of acronyms.
* You know that the location of a meeting is directly
related to its importance.
(1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a
contractor
(2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal
attention
* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same
thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business
cards.
[From AndyChaps]
==============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I
was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative
office in a Military Intelligence unit.
One day a long memo came around with a cover sheet in-
structing all assigned officers to read it and initial it
as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me
too, so I read and initialed it.
BUT a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to
me. An attached note read: "You are not permanently assigned
to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please
erase your initials and initial your erasure."
-<>-
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the
cases were discounted 10 percent. Since it was a big party,
we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10 percent and gave us a 20
percent discount.
-<>-
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon
for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked
over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free."
"They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess
they're both free."
She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
-<>-
Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions"
that spotlights people who live in our community.
In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age,
people are asked the questions that give a snapshot look of
their personalities.
Recently one woman was asked, "What's the 'strangest' thing
you ever bought?"
She answered, "Dog toothpaste."
Next question, "What is the 'most common' thing people say
to you?"
Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"
-<>-
>Gotta Love Math ...
\
/\/\
/ / /
_/,/ /
_/` (/"/////,
( '```--.___
/' _), ,- '-.
/, / \ (\ \,
\_()/ \) )' =_ )) |
| | .// _/)
( ( \_ // /
\ >_,\ (/)= /
| | | \ #\| /
|=| |=|\ ( (
(=> ( >( >),)
| | |=| \ ( (
/ / / / ) |/
\ /_( /_( , || )/.,_
). /\\_(\,/, //- / /_(_( /
,\. b'ger .- '-'-'-,)\/.'))
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three
sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest
boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the
youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17,
making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the
second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got
one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle,
having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove
home.
-<>-
Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially when the St.
Louis Cardinals are on TV.
One day we were watching a game, when my mother-in-law
shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly in
here!"
Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked back,"Give
it some cough syrup."
================================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Our Valuable Anchor
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html
Are Angels Real
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/angelsreal.html
Smell Of Rain
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smellofrain.html
What Friends Are For
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/whatfriends.html
Best Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html
Dreamy Ladies
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dreamy.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Denise :)
The Cards We're Dealt in Life
http://www.skitguys.com/store/detail/446/
If you have an appreciation for some of the beautiful heartfelt music
performed by Paul Wilbur about 15 years ago, then you'll love this clip!
This is great because you can sing along - this is authentic Hebrew
(subtitles)....sing along! Denise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtiqSy6g-lA
---
...Cool! Thanks Denise!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley :)
Alan Cooper's Homonym List
http://tinyurl.com/9ecqs
Mosquito Getting Killed By a Laser
http://tinyurl.com/ye38ojk
Obama Underwrites Offshore Drilling
http://tinyurl.com/pkjmjq
Old news perhaps , but makes one wonder does it not ? ? ?
---
...That's for sure! Thanks Wesley!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn Links:
Worse Than Locking Keys In Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72206.htm
Worst Seats
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72207.htm
WoW
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72208.htm
Wrong Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72209.htm
Wrong Gift
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72210.htm
Hama Rat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72211.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
================================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"I got some new pajamas with pockets in them...which is
great because before that I used to have to hold stuff when
I slept." -Demetri Martin
"According to a new survey, 56 percent of women say they
would rather be thinner than smarter. The other 44 percent
were models who didn't understand the question."
- Jay Leno
"I am wearing one of the sweaters from "The Cosby Show."
Bill Cosby and his wife Camille are auctioning them off
for their charity. This is a piece of television history.
When I wear it, though, I have a strong craving for a
Jell-O Pudding Pop.
- Jimmy Kimmel
"In a recent interview, Arnold Schwarzenegger said cannabis
is not a drug. Of course, when Arnold said it, it sounded
like, 'Cannibals need a hug.'" -Conan O'Brien
"If you want to stay healthy... there was this guy in Hong
Kong, 107-year-old guy in Hong Kong. He attributes his
longevity to abstaining from sex since he was 30. Man, I'm
gonna live a long, long time." -Craig Ferguson
----Those Were The Days - In 2008----
"Unemployment has hit 5.5 percent, the biggest increase
since 1986... 49,000 people were laid-off — and those
were Hillary Clinton campaign workers."
- Jay Leno
"Barack Obama has put his birth certificate online to
fight the rumors he wasn't born in the U.S. John McCain
is going to put his birth certificate online as soon as
he figures out how to upload the stone tablets."
- Craig Ferguson
"President Bush said that after he retires he wants to
write a book. Bush said he's not sure if it will be about
politics or about his personal life, but he is sure it
will be a pop-up book."
- Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday, Barack Obama took a break from the campaign
and took his family on a bike ride. Meanwhile, John McCain
took his family on a ride on his Rascal Scooter."
- Conan O'Brien
"John McCain just announced he wants to do a series of
town hall meetings where he meets with the public. It's
all part of McCain's 'Speak up, I Can't Hear You' tour."
- Conan O'Brien
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chrristian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Pass this on as it should be of interestt to all who served.
The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans.
ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3
VV
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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