Great Truths, Trivia And Hippos... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ _._ .' '. / \ ___ _.. _.--. | / |.' `'. ;-._ .' `\ .' `\ \| / \ .' `\/ ; / _ \.=..=./ _.' / | `\.---._| '. .-'-.}`.<>.`{-'-. / .--; . ( .' '. \ .---.{ <>()<> }.--..-' / _ \_ './ _. `-./ _},'<>`.{_ `\ ( = \ )`""'\;--. .' .-'/ )=..=;`\`- \ {= (| ) /`. ( / /| \ ) ( =_/ )__..-\ .'-..___.' : '.___..-' \ }/ / ;.____.-;/\ | ` | '--' | .' | \ \ /'. _.' \ ' / |\.\ ; /`--.-' ) .'`-. / \ \ |`| /__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-| *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) These two burning red hot new pages are from our friend Karen. They have a wonderfully rich assortment of artists and artwork. They are sure to delight you with their diverse talent as you see what each have created with just a simple book and paper. __ HH HH BBB HH ,z. === .___. HH %%%% .o. ,zZZZ> BBB | | HH 838 \\\\ EEE AAAAA ,0X0' ,zZZZ" BBB |<<<| HH 838 %%%% EEE ## DDDDD ,0X0' ,zZZZ" BBB | E | HH 838 %GR% +++ ## AAAAA ,0X0' ,zZZZ" BBB | M | HH 838 %%%% EEE ## <> ,0X0' ,zZZZ" BBB | C | HH 838 %%%% EEE ## AAAAA ,0X0',zZZZ"HH$HHHHHHHDDHH$HH === |<<<| HH 838 //// EEE ## AAAAA.0X0;zZZZ" EE$EEEEEEEDDEE$EE BBB |___| HH 838 %%%% EEE ## AAAAA'"0' "Z" HH$HHHHHHHDDHH$HH Evan M Corcoran Book And Paper Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookpaperart.html Book And Paper Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookpaperart.html --- ...Wow! Amazing works! Love them! Thanks Karen! -<>- *~* We Had A Stupendous Month Last Month Of Caring And Sharing! clap clap Clap clap clap clap clap clap Clap clap clap clap clap , clap clap clap Clap clap clap . \ ` Clap \ ( (\ ) / YEA! ` ` / _\ , \(") ___ .- )=| (` ') ' _ /'| |-n___n ' (/\| a:f____________|_L___J__ < L _______________________ ~I Am Pleased To Announce That We Added 2 New Shangrala Angels~ * Kathy M from West Haven, CT * Sheila S from Kansas City, KS They stepped up and gave a generous donation in March to help keep Shangrala Alive! They are indeed Our Very Sweet Angels! May God Bless Them Through Jesus Christ For Their Giving Heart! *~* Please Visit And Share All Of Our Newest Web Pages :) Uninvited Wedding Guests! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/weddingguests.html Morgan's Sports Cars! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/morgan.html Inspirational Life Quotes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifequotes.html Geo Of Women Vs Men! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womenvsmen.html Up Close And Personal 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal5.html Identity Theft 6! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft6.html Only ONE Job 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob4.html Updated: Boys To President! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html Extreme BBQ'S! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extremebbqs.html Beautiful Scotland! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulscotland.html Beautiful Scotland 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulscotland2.html Worst Famous Predictions! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worstpredictions.html Look Who's Talking 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking10.html Shilin Stone Forest! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stoneforest.html Recycling Ideas 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling3.html Historical Photos In Color! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/historycolorphotos.html Kyle The Goose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kylegoose.html World's Most Expressive Cat! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expressivecat.html Al Capone's Car! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alcaponescar.html Kids Being Kids 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids5.html *~* May God Bless All Our Sweet Contributors! They Give Us A Taste Of The 'Spice Of Life' With Their Forwards And Links! :) ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands. As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, look at that big bunch of cows." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of cows." "Sure, I've heard of cows... there's a big bunch of 'em right over there." -<>- A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed by a gas station on a lonely country road. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responded, "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only'." -<>- Signs of a Frustrated Mother 1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can't operate a vacuum cleaner. 2. Your children tell you that you said "yes" and you don't even remember the question. 3. You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good time. 4. Your husband asks how your day went and you rate it on a scale of 1-10 repeats of "stop that!" or "no!". 5. You can't remember the last time you didn't have to share your drink. 6. You mistakenly tell the kids it's "sanity" time when you meant to say "bed" time. 7. The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature and you begin to feel that it's out to get you. 8. You dread hearing the phone ring because it's a sure sign there's about to be trouble amongst the children. 9. It's finally your turn on the computer and "Touched by an Angel" is just coming on. 10. You go to sleep with "I'm bored" or "I'm hungry" still ringing in your ears. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 3 is Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day, Tweed Day and World Party Day April 4 is Hug a Newsman Day, Walk Around Things Day, School Librarian Day and World Rat Day April 5 is Go for Broke Day and National Dandelion Day April 6 is California Poppy Day, National Tartan Day, New Beer's Eve, Plan Your Epitaph Day and Sorry Charlie Day April 7 is Caramel Popcorn Day, National Beer Day, National Walk to Work Day, 7 No Housework Day and World Health Day April 8 is All is Ours Day, Draw a Picture of a Bird Day and Zoo Lover's Day April 9 is Name Yourself Day and Winston Churchill Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: . . \'.____.'/ __'-. .-'__ .--. '_i:'oo':i_'---...____...----i"""-.-'.-"\\ /._ _.\ : / '._ ;/ ;'-._ ( o o ) '-.__.' '. '. '-." '-.__.-' _.--. '-.: : '-' / ; _..--, / ; : '-._.-' ; ; : : : ` .' '-._.' : / \ : / ____....--\ : '._\ :""""" '. !. : : |: : 'www'| \ '| | || | : | | : | || | .' ! | | .' !| | /__I | | /__I.' ! .' ! /__I /__I fsc >Roast Beef My girlfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, California. Our waitress appeared to be a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over the menu, my girlfriend asked her if the roast beef was rare. The waitress gave us a long blank look, and then replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day." -<>- >Tardy Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution. "Is there another door I could use?" -<>- >We Won a Trip My husband and I won a trip to (favorite romantic place). The only problem was getting someone to stay with our seven lively children. I called my mother to see if she might be available. "Guess what, Mom! We won a five-day trip to (favorite romantic place)!" A long pause. Then Mother said, "Good. I hope you've already taken it." -<>- >Garden Walkway My plan was to build a garden walkway, made up of dozens of wooden squares. I decided I'd slice railroad ties into two-inch- thick pieces for the sections. That's what I told the clerk at the lumberyard. "You got a power saw?" he asked. "No," I said. "Can't I just use my hand saw?" He nodded slowly. "You could. But I just have one question. How old do you want to be when you finish?" -<>- >Bookmark We often have daycare groups come to visit our library for storytime. After reading one such group a story, I gave each of the children a bookmark as a memento of their visit. But one little boy, who was more used to technological gadgets than old-fashioned tools, wondered how to use his bookmark. So I demonstrated how to place it between two pages, then closed the book. "When you start reading again, voila!" I said, holding the book as it opened to my bookmarked page. "Wow!" he said. "That's cool!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _|_ | / \ //_\\ //(_)\\ |/^\| ,%%%% // \\ ,@@@@@@@, ,%%%%/%%% // \\ ,@@@\@@@@/@@, @@@%%%\%%//%%%// === \\ @@\@@@/@@@@@ @@@@%%%%\%%%%%// =-=-= \\@@@@\@@@@@@;%#####, @@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######, @@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/#### '@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####; @@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'###### '@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//#### || || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###' || || |_|__|__|_| || || || || ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| || jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___ >SMILES At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?" "Er--right." "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"? -------- Coming out of church, Mrs. Peterson asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't even see her," admitted Mr. Peterson. "And that dress Mrs. Hansen was wearing," continued Mrs. Peterson, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper costume for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Peterson. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Peterson. "A lot of good it does you to go to church." -------- It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the cigarette smoke of the young blonde woman beside her. Finally the older woman could take it no longer. She turned to the blonde and bellowed with a loud voice, "Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than smoke!" "So would I," quipped the blonde, "but you know, there just isn't time enough during a coffee break." -------- The church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money to pay their expenses for a special trip. They made a large sign, CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP, and on the given Saturday business was very good. But by two o'clock the skies clouded and the rain poured and there were hardly any customers. Finally, one of the girl washers had an idea. She printed a very large poster which said, WE WASH (then an arrow pointing skyward) GOD RINSES. Business boomed! ------- A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. "The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell." "Hmm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but...he didn't mention anything about including matches in the package, did he?" -------- "How much are the cigars?" asked a customer at the tobacco shop. "Two for a quarter," said the girl behind the counter. "All right," said the man. "I'll take one." "That'll be fifteen cents," replied the clerk. The customer paid for the cigar and left. A man who overheard the transaction came up to the counter. "Here's a dime," he said. "I'll take the other one." -------- My wife's cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears--one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. "See, Connor?" he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. "That's Daddy." Connor's eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, "You used to be a bear?" -------- On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?" -------- A police officer noticed an elderly woman, apparently quite agitated, walking aimlessly around a parking lot. He asked, "Is something wrong?" "I can't find my car." "What kind is it?" The old lady gave him a quizzical look. "Name some." ------- Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!" -------- Parental Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from the children. -------- The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday." -------- The city boy goes to countryside visiting his uncle. The uncle is a farmer and his estate is right in the middle of nowhere, among sands and cactuses and the nearest interstate is miles away. After the sun comes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are werewolves!" "That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing." "Then, there must be man-eating wolves." "No, we haven't got those buddies, either." "What is this sound, then?" the boy asks. "Those are coyotes." "Coyotes? What are those?" "They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of dogs." The boy wants to find out more. "Why are they making this frightening noise?" "See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here ... all we got are cactuses!" -------- Boss: I notice you go out and get your hair cut during business hours. Employee: My hair grows during business hours. Boss: But it doesn't all grow during business hours. Employee: I didn't get it all cut. --- ...LOL! Great ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _._ _.-*""*-._ _._ .' `*. .*' `. . .@*" ; : "*@. . ` ' .' `. ` ' /`..-' `-..'\ . . .*" "*. ' '\`*-._ _.-*'/` ` : ` \ :`*----*'; / ' ; . \ `-.__.-' / . `. `. .' .' [bug] `. `. .' .' `-. `*--*' .-' `*-.__.-*' >The Left Logic... Both statements made during the same speech. I think this just about sums it up!!! Yup... this's what Obama said............ "We must ban assault weapons because Federal background checks simply don't work.", Obama said in a speech. "Don't worry about 100,000 Muslim refugees. They're all getting Federal background checks.", Obama said in a speech. Logic is dead. Excellence is punished. Mediocrity is rewarded. And dependency is to be revered. This is present day America. When people rob banks they go to prison. When they rob the taxpayer they get re-elected. In God We Trust -<>- The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year- old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home. The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle. The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.” -<>- .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () >GREAT TRUTHS 1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams 2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain 3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain 4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --Winston Churchill 5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw 6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy 7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian 8. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. --Ronald Reagan (1986) 9. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers 10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke 11. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -- Mark Twain (1866) 12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous 13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill 14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain 15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain 16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians --Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995) 17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -- Thomas Jefferson FIVE BEST SENTENCES 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation! Can you think of a reason for not sharing this? Neither could I. --- ...Love Em! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: NAILED IT! New Ben Garrison ‘Barack Obama’ Cartoon http://eheadlines.com/nailed-it-new-ben-garrison-barack-obama-cartoon/ Trump praises Fox News ‘bombshell’ report on ‘unmasking and the crooked scheme against us’ http://tinyurl.com/k9ywrmw Report: Obama NSA Advisor Susan Rice Requested the Unmasking of Incoming Trump Officials http://tinyurl.com/lz3nwdy Media’s March Madness Over Trump and GOP Congress From questioning Donald Trump’s patriotism and mental stability to griping about the GOP Congress’s “hard-hearted” budget and “drive -by” hit of a health care plan the liberal media have been going through their own version of March Madness this month. The following is a collection of just some the most over-the-top liberal media outbursts from the past month. http://em.mrc.org/v0860LJ50KYSRqB9B00d000 Russia Pulls Off LEGENDARY April Fools’ Day Prank on Democratic Party [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/lky889c From AFA: Take Action! Sign the Vimeo Petition Now! Vimeo removes Christian ministry videos, closes account http://tinyurl.com/n95h6sn From ReturnToOrder: Like Disney's Beauty and the Beast, the Power Rangers movie promotes homosexual sin by targeting the younger generation, portraying unnatural vice as commonplace. In this manner, we know that they are trying to dampen horror of sin to teens. Sign our petition protesting it: http://tinyurl.com/lm4aq8k White House Home https://www.whitehouse.gov/ RED ALERT: List Of 7 Stories In 24 Hours Proving Trump Is Winning In Spite What Liberals Say! [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/mxympav RAMPANT CORRUPTION: Podesta Company Paid One Billion Rubles from Russian Govt. [VIDEO] John Podesta received at least 35 million dollars from the Russians while working with Hillary and Obama.... [Read more] http://tinyurl.com/ltwrksz Every American Needs To Watch This: Social Security Cards Explained http://tinyurl.com/l4y7ewx BREAKING: Watchdog Group Releases Clinton Emails From Huma Abedin’s Private Account [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/lxddqpd Liberal Hypocrites Forget US Has Interfered in 81 Foreign Elections – That We Know Of US Democrats and Lindsey Graham are VERY UPSET with unsubstantiated reports that Russia tried to interfere with the 2016 US election.... [Read more] http://tinyurl.com/kwdjzsd BREAKING: Mike Pence Casts Tie-Breaking Vote To Rescind Disgusting Obama Regulation [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/mgf4oq4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Houston police responding to multiple calls about a man duct- taped to a yield sign arrived to find a man who had lost a bet -- and they nearly Tased his friend. Police responded to an intersection in northeast Houston where drivers reported seeing a man duct taped to a yield sign. They arrived to find a second man with a knife approaching the taped individual. "Drop the knife or I'll Tase you," an officer shouted at the man. Police soon discovered the man was actually attempting to cut down his friend, Miguel Chavez, who had been taped to the sign as punishment for losing a bet. Chavez said he lost a bet he placed on the Houston Warriors/Golden State Warriors game. He said his punishment was to either allow himself to be duct taped to a street sign or a car, so he decided to flip a coin. The police helped Chavez down from the pole and gave him a ride home. No charges were filed in the incident. -<>- Feminism is responsible for the advancement of a lot of the rights that women take for granted today. How would you feel if, as a woman, you couldn't vote, or didn't have equal rights as a man get an education, to divorce, or to own property? Or if you had to leave your home or place of work and go someplace by yourself every time you got your period? This last indignity is not even a long-gone relic of the seventeenth or eighteenth century. Even though it is against the law, this type of social ostracization is still commonly practiced in many parts of more traditional (some might say 'less developed') countries like Nepal and India. But in the socially forward west the idea is laughable. Isn't it? Italy wants to pass a law that would force companies to pay female employees to go the hell home when they are on their periods. They're calling it "menstrual leave" and women who feel like they can't handle the stress of their 'monthlies' can announce to their boss and all of their co-workers that they are riding the cotton pony by taking up to three paid days off every month. Talk about blood money. I guess there is a certain continuity to it. In the archaic past menstruating women were shunned. Eventually menstruation became merely embarrassing. Then feminism came along and it was celebrated. Now we have come full circle and the post feminist agenda wants to pay women who are menstruating to go away. Would this really empower women? If this 'benefit' were available would you take advantage of it? *------ Grabher? I Hardly Even Know Her. ------* A Nova Scotia man said the province revoked his personalized license plate because his unusual family name, Grabher, was dubbed "socially unacceptable." Lorne Grabher said he has no problem getting a "GRABHER" license plate for his father in 1991, but in December he received a letter from the Nova Scotia Registrar of Motor Vehicles saying his own vanity plate was being revoked after a complaint. He said the letter branded his license plate "socially unacceptable" because it can be read as "grab her," which could be seen as promoting violence against women. "Where does the Province of Nova Scotia and this government have a person with that kind of power to discriminate against my name?" Grab her told local news. He wondered whether the objections to his plate stemmed from the infamous recording released during last year's U.S. presidential election, featuring Donald Trump using the phrase "grab her" in a vulgar fashion. He said he shouldn't be punished for the now-president's words. *- Virginia Police Arrest Sword-Carrying Joker -* Police in Virginia said they arrested a man dressed as Batman villain The Joker after receiving several calls about him walking around with a sword. The Winchester Police Department said it received several calls about 2 p.m. Friday about a "suspicious male" dressed as The Joker walking along city roads while wearing a black cape and carrying a sword. Apparently Batman has never been popular in Winchester as The Joker has never worn a cape or used a sword. Nevertheless, 31-year-old Jeremy Putman was arrested and charged with wearing a mask in public. It is odd that he was charged with wearing a mask in public and not carrying a weapon, but the police reminded the public in a Facebook post about the arrest, "Please remember -- it is a Felony to wear a mask or cover your face in public." *------------------- An A Gun -------------------* Police officers were surprised to see a handgun fall out of a suspect's backside while being searched in jail, according to police in Alabama. Limestone County police said that they have arrested 23-year-old Jesse O'Neal Roberts, after being accused of being drunk in public. According to the police investigation, Roberts trespassed in a property on Esten Lane. The homeowner found Roberts in his garage, and held the suspect at gunpoint until police arrived. When Roberts arrived in jail, officers noticed that he was walking funny. While searching Roberts, he stumbled and the gun fell out of his backside. The gun was reported stolen from Florence. Police said that they do not know if the owner will want the gun back as it was in Roberts' backside. *---------- She Went Out With a Bang ----------* A Florida man was sentenced to five years in prison after his wife died in a crash while the couple was making love while driving. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said the driver and his wife had just left a country music concert where they had been drinking. The pair was making love when they drove into a canal. The crash left the wife dead and the driver severely injured. At the hospital, deputies confirmed he was drunk. In a police report, authorities said the driver admitted to being naked and that his wife was sitting on his lap when he drove off the end of the road and struck the opposite canal. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ............. .' '. : '. .' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : .' : : '. _.' :...........: '._ ( .' '. ) '._.' '._.' (.....................) \___________________/ (. . . . . . . . .) \ /_/ \_\ / || || )| |( (_/ \_) lc Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right--only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. -<>- At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a year-long research project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you?" -<>- I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.' When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. "Just where do you think you're going?" she asked. "What do you mean?" I said. She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long." -<>- I came home one night and my wife was crying. I said, "what's wrong?" She said, "I'm home sick." I said, "But, this IS your home." "I know," she replied, "and I'm sick of it!" -<>- @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@,""""""@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@"- "@@@@@@@@@@ "@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@( ^^^ )@@@@@@@@@ ' @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@( ( 0@@@@@@@@@, (@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@) ) _/@@@@@@@@@@@m "@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@(__/ (@@@@@@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@" )@@@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' \@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' )@@@@@@' A @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ ,@@@@@@@" /@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@, @_____" =, @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ :',@@@@ `@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ M@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@' `@@@@@@@@@@@@@" ,@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@" / @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@" @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@@@" / @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@@" ," .@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@' .@@ `@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@m `@@@, @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| :@@@@@@@@@m )@@. )@@@@@@@@ >The 5 toughest questions for men are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Baseball. b. Football. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you. e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died. (Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!") Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah, tons. b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me? Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are: a. Compared to what? b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. I've seen fatter. e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is always: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a. Yes, but you have a better personality. b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner. c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age. d. Define pretty.. e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question# 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette!") -<>- Two Scotsmen, brothers, Finlay and Jim Calder, were sitting in the pub discussing Jim's big wedding day. "Aye, it's going to be grand," said Jim. "I've got everything organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night." Finlay smiled and nodded, approvingly. "Heavens, I've even got a new kilt to be married in," continued Jim with a look of satisfaction. "A kilt, that's grand! You'll look smart in that," exclaimed Finlay, "and what's the tartan?" "Och," uttered Jim, "I imagine she'll be in white." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .:::::::::. .::::::::::::::::, .:: -'`;. ccccr -ccc,```'::,::::::: `,z$$$$$$c $$$F.:::::::::::: 'c`$'cc,?$$$$ :::::`:. ``': $$$`4$$$,$$$$ :::', ` .. F .`$ $$"$L,`,d$c$ d$$$$$cc,,d$c,ccP'J$$$$,,`"$F $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$",$F $$$$$$$$$$$ ccc,,"?$$$$$$c$$F `?$$$PFF",zd$P??$$$c?$$$$$$$F .,cccc=,z$$$$$b$ c$$$ $$$$$$$ cd$$$F",c$$$$$$$$P'<$$$$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$c,"?????"" $$$$$ $$$$$$F :: $$$$L ""??" .. d$$$$$ $$$$$P'.. ::: ?$$$$J$$cc,,,,,,c$$$$$$PJ$P".:::: .,,,. `:: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P".::::::' ,,ccc$$$$$$$$$P" `::`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P".::::::::' c$c. .,cd$$PPFFF????????" .$$$$$b, z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bc.`'!>` -:.""?$$P".:::'``. `',<'` $$$$$$$$$c $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c,=$$ ::::: -`',;;!!!,,;!!>. J$$$$$$$$$$b, ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$cc,,,.` ."?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. ""??""" ;!!!.$$$ `?$$$$$$P'!!!!; !!;.""?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$r !!!'<$$$ :::.. .;!!!!!!; !!!!!!!!!!!!!> "?$$$$$$$$$$$" !!!!>`?$F::::::::`!!!!!!!!! ?" `!!!!>`::::: :: ` `!!! `:::: ,, ;!!!!!!!!!'` ;!!!!!!!!!!! \;;;;!!!! :::: !!!!!!!!!!! ;!!!!!!!!!!!!> `!!!!!!!!> ::: !!!!!!!!!!! ;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> !!!!!!!!!!.` !!!!!!!!!!!!!;. ;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' `!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' `!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ` ?$$c``!!! d $$c,c$.`!',d$$$P `$$$$$c,,d$ 3$$$$$$cc$$$$$$F `$$$$$$$$$b`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$$$$$ ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$F `$$$$$$$$,?$$$$$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$P ?$$$$$$b`$$$$$$$$$F ,c$$$$$$$$c`$$"$$$$$$$cc, ,z$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $L')$$$$$$$$$$b,,,,, , ,,-=P???$$$$$$$$$$PF $$$$$$$$$$$$$Lz =zr4%' `?'d$ $b = $$$$$$ "???????$$$P `"-"$$$$P"""" " >Interesting trivia The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coca-Cola was originally green. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The youngest pope was 11 years old. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David, Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? A. Conception. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic? A. He was allergic to carrots. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party? A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the landlord would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. --- ...Awesome Trivia! Thanks LouiseAu! More of these like "THE WHOLE SHEBANG" are found here... Word And Phrase Origins - http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) .^.,*. ( ) ) .~ "-._ _.-'-*'-*'-*'-*'-'-.--._ /' `"' `. _/' `. __,"" ).--. .-' `._.' .--.\ ' ) \`: ; ; " : ) | 8 ; = ) . \ . .' `. ~ \ .-' `-._ _ _ . ' `. ._ _ | | / `"-*--*' | | mb | | | : ~~~~~~~--- ~-~-~-~ -~-~-~-~-~-~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ------~~~~~~~~~----------~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Hippos The really clever thing about hippos is that they produce their own sunscreen, in the form of a sticky reddish sweat. Hippos can stand in the hot sun all day without getting a sunburn, and now researchers know why: a red-colored glandular secretion known as "hippo sweat" contains microscopic structures that scatter light, protecting the hefty mammals from burns, according to a new study. --- ...Now that's pretty cool info! Thanks Bunni! =============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Dog Family Portraits http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html World Of Peacocks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html Amazing Human Progress http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanprogress.html City That Time Forgot http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/city.html Nostalgic Golden Memories 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goldenoldie2.html Real Story Of The Eagle http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html Church Mouse Wisdom http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html Ironic, Isn't It 2? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony2.html Winter Wildlife 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/winter2.html Wisdom For Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wisdomforlife.html Mabel The Chicken http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chicken.html Cat Owner Tips http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catowners.html -<>- >From Our Friend Fran :) The People VS Winter http://tinyurl.com/kfhmjcr --- ...Oh My! LMAO! Thanks Fran! Martin - You Raise Me Up! http://tinyurl.com/kow8vfd --- ...Gives goosebumps! Sweet! Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Weelicious Veggie Nuggets, Gluten-free http://tinyurl.com/konawbn --- ...Looks yummy! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) The funny ventriloquist leaves his puppet on stage to perform alone after they get in a spat! Will this hands-free performance land Paul Zerdin the finale? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=me5ihmdlAk4 --- ...Wow! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options. Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It's the half a burrito you woke up next to." -Seth Meyers "A new study reports that older women are doing more and more binge drinking. I asked my mom if that was true and she said, 'I love you, man.'" -Conan O'Brien "A 16-year-old boy in Bosnia broke a world record this week by smashing 111 concrete blocks with his head in 34 seconds. Get an Xbox! You don't have to do that. When asked how it felt to break the world record, the boy said, 'Lampshade tricycle is my favorite flavor of pizza truck.'" -James Corden "Arby's is facing multiple lawsuits currently, after a data breach exposed the credit card information of over 350,000 customers. The data breach could reveal potentially embar- rassing information, like the fact that they ate at Arby's." -Seth Meyers "A school in Tennessee is facing criticism for separating students with bad grades from students with good grades at lunch. Thats crazy! You dont use grades to separate kids. Everyone knows that kids should be separated by clothes, looks, and how much money their parents make." -Jimmy Fallon "Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age begins the first time you eat at a Denny's while sober." -Conan O'Brien "Researchers say much of Florida could be underwater by the end of the century. On the bright side, they say it could happen much sooner." -Conan O'Brien "It's the first day of spring, so congratulations to the people of Nebraska, who survived winter. Now all you've got to do is get through severe thunderstorm and tornado season." -James Corden "The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone's surprise, he added, 'Even if you're just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'" -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************