Groundhogs, Super Bowl And More...:) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ _ ______ / `'. ,-"` '. / /'-.'. ___ .' \ \/ '.\.' ' | .| .'`\ | /`"'--., / \ , _.--'` \/_ | ,----.| _ `_--;` ``` `\-. | | \ | -- C -- _/ \ \ | \ 0 0 / . | | \| ) | '. _.' |.__/ ; \ `'---` / / __ '. .' | (__) /'-._____,-` \ /---'.-""-.\ '. / ||,- \\ ;---`;-._||-= |\ , ."""-. \ ) `|'.___.' \ ___ \'. / '-. \ /`-`-; / \ ,/ `) \ \| \ `` | | \|| / /'.| )_ / || | | \/ .' \ \ .-'/ ` |` |.-' .-~ ~-~-._ |.'` \ ` '-. \___/,__/ ~` _ `~~-., `-.,_\_)`-.,_\) `~-,___ ~___~,,..-~~/ jgs \___/`\____/'._.' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This red hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. It contains images that were hand-picked to capture the un-comparable beauty of America's wilderness from thousand of submissions. Be sure to check it out and the video here too. __..-' _.--'' _...__..-' .' .' .' .' .------._ ; .-"""`-.<') `-._ .' (.--. _ `._ `'---.__.-' ` `;'-.-' '- ._ .--'`` '._ - ' . `""'-. `---' , ''--..__ `\ ``''---'`\ .' jgs `'. ' `'. American Wildernesss http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wilderness.html --- ...Most Stunning! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: Tell me about it..... ...hiiii haaaaaan... \ /\/\ / / / _/,/ / _/` (/"/////, ( '```--.___ /' _), ,- '-. /, / \ (\ \, \_()/ \) )' =_ )) | | | .// _/) ( ( \_ // / \ >_,\ (/)= / | | | \ #\| / |=| |=|\ ( ( (=> ( >( >),) | | |=| \ ( ( / / / / ) |/ \ /_( /_( , || )/.,_ ). /\\_(\,/, //- / /_(_( / ,\. b'ger .- '-'-'-,)\/.')) An old man, a boy, and a donkey were travelling. The boy rode the donkey while the man walked. In the first town they went to, the people all said; "How hard for that old man who has to walk!" The two travelers heard this and decided that the boy should walk and the old man should ride. In the next town, people whispered, "What a shame, he makes the little boy walk!" So the pair decided that they should both ride. In the third town, people all muttered about how cruel it was to make the donkey work so hard. So the boy and the old man decided to carry the donkey. On the way to the next town, they had to go across a bridge. As they walked across it, they slipped and the donkey fell in to the river and drowned. The moral of the story is - If you try to please everyone, you will eventually end up losing your ass. -<>- Teacher: How can we get some clean water? Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it. -<>- On her way to take a coffee break, a woman employed by a computer company saw a colleague sitting at his desk with his feet propped up, staring straight ahead and blinking. Concerned, she asked, "Are you all right?" He answered, "I'm fine! I'm just in screen saver mode." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 27 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, Chocolate Cake Day, and Punch the Clock Day January 28 is Data Privacy Day, Fun at Work Day and National Kazoo Day January 29 is National Puzzle Day and National Cornchip Day January 30 is National Inane Answering Message Day January 31 is Backward Day and Inspire Your Heart with Art Day February 1 is Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, National Freedom Day, No Politics Day and Spunky Old Broads Day February 2 is Ground Hog Day and Superbowl Sunday ======================================================= _ _ (`-`;-"```"-;`-`) \.' './ / \ ; 0 0 ; /| = = |\ ; \ '._Y_.' / ; ; `-._ \|/ _.-' ; ; `"""` ; ; `""-. .-""` ; /; '--._ \ / _.-- ;\ : `. `/|| ||\` .' : '. '-._ _.-' .' jgs (((-'` `"""""` `'-))) >-->SMILES For Groundhog Day :) >QUOTES: NEWS: Punxsutawney Phil says there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Trump tweets, 'Phil is a rat spreading Fake News'. - Ham on Wry The groundhog saw his shadow but does he understand the rapidly changing environment and destruction of ecological systems around the world? - Alia Janine Punxsutawney Phil may not be a professional meteorologist, but I bet he still knows the difference between global warming and climate change. - Erik Bransteen If the groundhog sees his shadow it means all of you are crazy to get your weather forecast from an overgrown rodent. - Dan Regan Groundhog Day was invented by the groundhog industry in order to sell more groundhogs. - IGotsSmarts Sarah Palin says "Hardworking groundhogs should be able to report the weather everyday!" 0 absrdNEWS I’m excited to be dining out tonight for Groundhog Day. Found a hip LA bistro where not only is the hog organic, they grind it fresh at your table. - ianpauldukes It's 2016 and we're using a #cointoss to pick politicians and rodents to predict the weather. Let's pack it up, humanity. #GroundhogDay - Pete Stegemeyer Punxsutawney Phil will determine if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. All this without the local weatherman's witty banter. - Charles Lake I woke up this morning and saw the shadow of my former hopes and dreams. Six more weeks of self-loathing. #GroundhogsDay - Amanda Deibert Punxsutawney Phil says he's retiring after he learned Mother Nature doesn't care about the shadow thing. - Charles Lake -<>- . __ ' . ' . * _-~ ~-_ . ' . . . /___ ___\ ' . . / (O) (o) \ * ___ * . __,-~-~-,/ -..- \ .-~~-. __..-~~ ~~-.._ .-~ `V~V~V'`\ -v----v- \/ /.-~ //.. \ \. `~-._ //. \.' `\..___..---/ /'' . ' . .. ''/ \\..' \' V~V~V' // / ' . ' / \ . ' \\\ \ \ . ' / . / ' . / <> \ '. . ' . / ../ ' ( Oh NO, Harvey! ) // ' ../ <> / .'\ \' ''.\ \ /. //. \ ( You don't think ) ________________ ( it can read, ) //' / __ _ _____ \ ..' \ \ './ \'\ ( do you? ) | |__ /_\ | | .. \ \\ //' . | |__ / \ | | '. \.. ___...---..._____..--~~\\..____..-\________________/..__ \\ || . . . . . ` ______________||_________. . |_____________________| ' . ~ | | | | | | . . . .. |____|____|_____|==|__| |____|____|_____|__|__| jro __________________________________ ' . / / . ~ / / Q: On Groundhog Day what does it mean if the groundhog sees a stupid monster? A: You'll have six more weeks of stupidity! Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy? A: Ground-dog Day! Q: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher? A: He became a pound hog! Q: What happens if the ground log sees its shadow? A: We'll have six more weeks of splinters! Q: Why was the groundhog depressed about his den? A: He was having a bad lair day! Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink? A: Ground Nog Day! _ _ (.)_(.) _ ( _ ) _ / \/`-----'\/ \ __\ ( ( ) ) /__ ) /\ \._./ /\ ( jgs )_/ /|\ /|\ \_( Q: What's green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2? A: The ground frog! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___ ((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __ () \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|-- ((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt >SMILES Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ---------- The aliens landed in Washington, DC, where they were given a hero's welcome. They were honored at a banquet at the White House and treated to a tour of the capitol. After a day and a night of talking with the politicians and the press, the aliens returned to their home planet. "Bad news," said the returning alien leader to his boss. "We wasted all that time and we still don't know if there is intelligent life on Earth." ---------- The Jackson police were searching for a man they suspected of a string of burglaries. They had six photographs of the man, all taken in different locations and from different angles. They sent 6 fax copies of these pictures to police departments all over the country. Several days later, Jackson received a fax report from the police chief in a small town in West Va. The memo read, "We immediately went to work on those six pictures you sent. We've arrested five of the suspects, and we have the sixth under observation right now." ---------- Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. 'When did you first notice the leak?' the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. 'Last night, when it took me 2 hours to finish my soup! ---------- When my daughter was about 6, my sister was baby sitting for the day. My sister had a soap opera on the TV and during a love scene, my daughter expressed how gross she thought it was that a man and a woman were kissing. My sister explained that when a man and a woman are in love, kissing is not gross. She then said, "your Mommy and Daddy kiss - they're in love." My daughter's rebuttal to that was "No they're not - they're married!" ------- A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an officer for a pass and was told he had to be back by 7 p.m. Sunday. "You don't understand, sir," my friend said. "I'm in the wedding." "No, YOU don't understand," the officer replied. "You're in the Navy!!" ---------- A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. 'Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Theirs were still sticking out of the ground.' ---------- A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, 'I suppose you will want some identification.' He replied, without hesitation, 'No ma'am, that won't be necessary.' 'How come?' asked the woman. 'Crooks don't buy peat moss.' ---------- "Excuse me," a young fellow said to an older man, "I've just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?" "Well," replied the older man, "I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet." ---------- Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!" "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= | | | _ | | <_> | | | | | `-._ | |`-._| | | _________________________________|____ `-._ `-._ | `-._ `-._ | kat `-._ `-._ >-->SMILES For Super Bowl Sunday L) Q: Which football player wears the biggest helmet on Superbowl Sunday? A: The one with the biggest head! Q: What kind of tea do they serve football players at the Super Bowl? A: Penaltea Q: What dessert do they serve at the Super Bowl? A: Sundays. Q: Which Superbowl players can jump higher than the field goal posts? A: All of them – field goal posts can’t jump at all. Q: Where do the quickest football players like to eat? A: Fast food restaurants (because they are so fast). Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Super Bowl football team? A: They needed a little team spirit. Q: Why did the football quit playing in the Super Bowl? A: It was tired of being kicked around. Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Rich Gannon jerseys on Super Bowl Sunday? A: Too much of a choking hazard. (Gannon threw a Super Bowl record five interceptions, three of which were returned for touchdowns) Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people are excited to watch Super bowl. A: The other 5 percent are Browns fans. Q: What did L.C. Greenwood have stuck in his teeth in Superbowl X? A: A quarterback! (Greenwood hold the record for sacks in a Superbowl with 4 for the Steelers). __ .-'||'-. .' || '. / __||__ \ | /`- -`\ | | | 6 6 | | \/\____7___/\/ .--------:\:I:II:I:/;--------. / \`:I::I:`/ \ | `------' | | \____/ | | , __ _____ , | |======| / / / _ \ |======| |======| / /__ \ <_> / |======| |~~~~~| | <_> \/ <_> \ |~~~~~| | |\ \____/\_____/ /| | \ \| |/ / `\ \ _ _.-=""=-._ _ / /' `\ '`_)\\-++++-//(_`' /' jgs ; (__|| ||__) ; ; ___\ /___ ; '. ---/-=..=-\--- .' `""` `""` Knock Knock. Who’s there? Tess me. Tess me who? Tess me the football! Q: Which Super Bowl player wears the biggest cleats? A: The one with the biggest feet! Q. Why do field goal kickers bring string to the Superbowl? A: Just in case they need to tie the score. Q. What runs around the field during the Super Bowl – but never moves? A: A wall Q: What’s as big as the Lombardi trophy, but weighs nothing? A: It’s shadow. Q: Why do the best field goal kickers take ballet lessons? A: To learn how to split the uprights! Q: How do they hire Superbowl referees? A: With stilts. Q: What did the receiver say to the football before the big game? A: Catch you later. :) ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: , ."". , , # |()| # , _#_#___|__|___#_#__ [__________________] |-_ -=__=-_ -==_-| |_.------------.=| |=| o o |=| _|-| ! `( ! |-|_ /==_| ! _(_.)_ ! |=_-\ |jgs|/^\^=^^=^/^\| _=| If your furnace quits or breaks down you can try a few simple solutions before you call for service help. Roughly a quarter of all service calls could be avoided with easy furnace fixes that cost little or nothing. If you can solve a furnace problem yourself you will avoid a hefty service call fee. * Check the thermostat Check the thermostat to make sure it's actually telling the furnace to come on. Thermostats, especially programmable ones, can be complicated, and the more options a thermostat has, the more that can go wrong. This includes making sure the program is displaying the right day and time and replacing the battery if needed. * Check shutoff switches and breakers It sounds unbelievable, but furnace technicians often find that the only "repair" a furnace needs is to be turned on. Look for a standard wall switch on or near the furnace - all furnaces, no matter what age or type, have one somewhere. Then check the circuit breaker or fuse for the furnace as well. * Change filters Dirty filters are the most common cause of furnace problems. A clogged furnace filter can cause a furnace to shut off. Dust and dirt restrict airflow - and if the filter gets too clogged, the heat exchanger will overheat and shut off too quickly. * Make sure the gas is on Gas furnace not blowing hot air? Just as with switches, someone may have turned off a gas valve and then forgotten to turn it back on. Trace the gas line back from the furnace to the meter, and if you see a handle that's perpendicular to the gas pipe, turn it so it's parallel. * Flush out drain lines High-efficiency furnaces can drain off several gallons of water a day in heating season. If the drain lines become restricted by sediment or mold growth, the furnace will shut down. If the drain hose looks dirty, remove the hose, fill it with a mixture of bleach and water (25 percent bleach), then flush it after several minutes. * Clean away leaves and debris from heat pumps or intake and exhaust vents. If you have a furnace that vents out the side of the house, make sure nothing is blocking the intake or exhaust. If you have a heat pump, clear away grass and leaves from the fins of the outdoor compressor unit. Before heating season starts, hose it down gently from the top to rinse dirt and debris out of the housing. -<>- 'Go Green' Hint: Never throw a battery away. Batteries are one of those little things that really add up. With about 3 billion dumped each year, the lead, cadmium, mercury, and other heavy metals in household batteries can seriously contaminate our soil and water quality. To take just one example, more cadmium in landfills comes from batteries than any other source. The solution? Recycling! Rechargeable batteries (e.g. nickel-cadmium and lithium-ion) can get their charge rejuvenated hundreds of times, but eventually they too wear out. Call the Rechargeable Battery Recycling Corporation at their hotline at 1-800-8-BATTERY to find out where you can drop rechargeables off for recycling. Standard household (e.g. alkaline and zinc-carbon) batteries are recyclable too, although they can be harder to find a home for. Your local hardware store might take them. Or check earth911.org or call 1-800-CLEANUP for a location near you. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Heartwarming - watch the video! Moment Between Texas Governor and Trump Goes Viral https://1600daily.com/2020/01/23/moment-texas-governor-trump-goes-viral/ President Donald Trump became the first president to attend the March for Life rally in its 47th year on the National Mall on Friday. “It is my profound honor to be the first president in history to attend the March for Life,” Trump proudly declared at the gathering on the National Mall preceding the march. “Unborn children have never had a stronger defender in the White House.” https://tinyurl.com/ttyhv6t Video - Trump Becomes The First President To Speak At The March For Life https://tinyurl.com/ulbjtu2 Newt Gingrich: Trump Triumphs at World Economic Forum While Democrats Pursue Baseless Impeachment https://tinyurl.com/sz38epe VP Mike Pence Meets Pope Francis in Private Audience at Vatican -Fox News https://tinyurl.com/wx7estx Mark Levin: Dems' impeachment case has been an embarrassment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccvpNmB0cGU Jim Jordan: Bolton report doesn't alter the facts in impeachment trial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuG1tJbU0EY Trump Points out Obama Admin’s Withholding of Aid https://tinyurl.com/sub5s9v Trump Admin Releases New Rule to Restrict ‘Birth Tourism’ https://tinyurl.com/yx2vruyz President’s Legal Team Lays Out Defense Against Impeachment -New York Post https://tinyurl.com/wh8ztlh Sen. Manchin Discusses The One Big Takeaway He Had During Trump’s Legal Defense https://tinyurl.com/rhre38e Westwing News: Read the Transcript!’ https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Beef, Cheese, Chargers http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Trump offers China 'any help' needed as coronavirus toll hits 81 http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: A California river filled with wine when a tank of cabernet sauvignon sprang a leak at a popular winery. Christopher O'Gorman, a spokesman for Rodney Strong Wine Estates in Healdsburg, confirmed the tank in Sonoma County sprang a leak and wine poured into the Reiman Creek, which carried it to the nearby Russian River. "We're investigating what appears to be a mechanical failure, we're not entirely sure of that at this point, but were deeply, deeply concerned about this leak and protecting our waterways here in Sonoma County," O'Gorman reported. He said a mechanical failure is believed to be responsible for the leak. The California Office of Emergency Services said 97,000 gallons of wine spilled into waterways, but the winery said that number represents the full capacity of the tank and only about 20-25 percent spilled. "We feel like not that much wine got into the waterway. We are investigating the other tanks. We've moved wine out of that area to prevent any future leaks as well," O'Gorman said. Don McEnhill, the executive director of the non-profit Russian River Keeper, said volunteers have been monitoring the situation. "We're lucky in that it's winter, the river is high, there's a fair amount of dilution. We haven't had any reports of fish kills. This could have been a lot worse," he said. The winery said it worked with a third-party contractor to pump wine out of the river. -<>- You never know what goes through some peoples' minds when they do crazy stuff. Sometimes you can get an idea after- ward, especially if they get arrested, but if that crazy stunt ends up in a death the 'why' becomes lost forever and all you have is a bizarre story; like the one today of a man who tried and succeeded in jumping a car over an entire river... with the aid of a cliff. Witnesses and investigators are reacting with astonishment after a high-speed pursuit ended with a car launched clear across the San Joaquin River separating Fresno and Madera Counties in California. Fresno County Coroner's Office identified the driver as 58-year-old David Callahan of Fresno. According to Fresno Police, before Callahan drove off the cliff, he was driving recklessly near Herndon and Parkway Drive around 8:30 a.m. "The vehicle was driving recklessly and actually drove past an officer," said Sgt. Bob Reynolds. Callahan led police on a chase and officers say he eventually drove off the cliff near Dickenson and Herndon. He was airborne for about 400 feet and crossed an entire of the San Joaquin River, and crashed onto the other side in Madera County. "He went down to Barstow, hung a U-turn and hit the lip," said witness Bryan Zollars. "Like at a hundred miles per hour, he cleared the whole damn river." "This is just me eyeballing it, but from what it looks like, it looks like at some point the vehicle landed completely on its top," said CHP Officer Matt Zulim. The impact of the crash killed the driver at the scene. "What may have been going through his mind to drive this fast?" said Zulim "And to do what he did in his car today. He jumped the San Joaquin River. It's an absolute tragedy. You never want to see someone die especially in this fashion." *--- Woman attacked man for farting in her face ---* A South Carolina woman was arrested for allegedly beating a man in his 60s, after the man drunkenly passed gas in her face. Witnesses told police that 33-year-old Jessica Cerney was asleep on her couch in her Myrtle Beach residence when 64-year-old Darrell McNight entered the home and farted in her face. "[McKnight] came into the house intoxicated and 'passed gas' is [Cerney's] face while she was laying on the couch," according to the police report. The two were arguing over the incident and [McKnight] walked toward [Cerney] cursing in a "threatening manner." [Cerney] stated that she pulled her arms down and when McKnight bent down she struck him in the face approximately three times with a closed fist." McKnight had to be taken to the hospital for treat- ment to a swollen right eye while Cerney did not suffer any injuries. Both parties were issued citations for fighting. It is unclear if they knew each other prior to the incident. *--- Mom fed daughter tapeworms so she would lose weight ---* A mom in Florida forced her daughter to ingest tapeworms in order to slim down for competition. Upon checking into the emergency room with severe stomach pains, nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio thought the teen was pregnant. But an ultra- sound showed no fetus -- although there was an inexplicable growth in her intestines. The unfortunate teenage contestant's condition became clear upon a fateful trip to the bathroom. "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms," Cabral-Osorio recalled. "It was so gross and she had pooped all these tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl." Having passed the parasites, the teen was then assumed to be fine. After an apparent fight between the mother and daughter, it became clear the mother bought a pill of tape- worm eggs in Mexico and forced her daughter to take it to lose weight for an upcoming pagent. It is unclear when the incident occurred or if criminal charges were brought against the mother. *--- Man finds $27k in the middle of the road ---^ A Michigan man leaving the drive-through ATM at a credit union investigated a plastic box in the middle of a road and discovered it contained $27,000. George Condash said he was leaving the Westland Federal Credit Union when he spotted the plastic box in the roadway. "First, I just thought it was trash. For some reason it hit me that, 'Why don't I just pick this up so no one else has to swerve around it?'" Condish reported. Condish discovered the box was an ATM cassette full of cash. Security video from the credit union shows Condish picking up the box and carrying it inside. "I picked it up and noticed a tag that said it was $40,000," he said. "I said, 'Is there a reward for $40,000?' And I put it on their counter and they just looked dumbfounded." The box, which actually only contained $27,000, had mistakenly been left in the roadway by an armored truck security guard. Condash said the credit union did give him a reward for his honesty. *--- Russia ---* A pair of elephants escaped from a circus in Russia and caused some traffic delays while playing in the snow. The Yekaterinburg Circus said in a post that Asian elephants Carla, 45, and Roni, 50, were being taken for a walk out- side before they were due to be driven to St. Petersburg when they pulled free from their handlers. Video captured by witnesses shows the elephants rolling and playing in the snow while their handlers attempt unsuccessfully to coax them back toward the circus building. "The elephants have their own character and emotions, they are very smart," the post said. "They walked outside and got very happy from seeing the snow, the trees and the pedestrians whom they took for spectators. Roni stayed by one of the trees while Carla walked towards a pile of snow." The elephants were eventually led back to the circus building and loaded into a transport vehicle for the trip to St. Petersburg. --- ...I found this for you here... https://tinyurl.com/uslstnf ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _______________________ |\_____________________/| || || || _ _ || || / ) / ) __ |_| || || / -|- / -- | || || `== `== ' || || _____ || ||______________#####__|| jgs |/_____________________\| >Late for School TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." -<>- >Back Seat Driver Martin had just received his brand new driver's license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." -<>- >The Fridge Husband A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband - he thinks he's a refrigerator!" "I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass." "But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake." -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What do you call a Dr. of Proctology in the U.S. Navy? A: Rear Admiral. Q: What's the difference between a beer and a booger? A: A beer goes on the table, a booger goes under it. . . \'.____.'/ __'-. .-'__ .--. '_i:'oo':i_'---...____...----i"""-.-'.-"\\ /._ _.\ : / '._ ;/ ;'-._ ( o o ) '-.__.' '. '. '-." '-.__.-' _.--. '-.: : '-' / ; _..--, / ; : '-._.-' ; ; : : : ` .' '-._.' : / \ : / ____....--\ : '._\ :""""" '. !. : : |: : 'www'| \ '| | || | : | | : | || | .' ! | | .' !| | /__I | | /__I.' ! .' ! /__I /__I fsc Q: What did the farmer count his cows with? A: A cowculator. Q. What goes ninety-nine clump, ninety-nine clump, ninety-nine clump? A. A centipede with a wooden leg. Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors? A: Because if they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans. Q: What happened to the butcher? A: He backed into a meat cutter and got a little behind in his work. Q: What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he was leaving for school? A: Bison! , ,_ , .'<_ _> `'-,'(__.-' __< >_.--(.. ) =;` jgs `V-'`'\/`` Q: What STD do birds get? A: Chirpies. It is a CARDINAL disease; and it is untweetable. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ =(_|_______|_)= |:::::::::| |:::::::[]| |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` We had been up in the attic together doing some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked, "Hey Mom...what's this?" "Oh, that's an old typewriter," she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity. "Well what does it do?" they asked. "I'll show you," she said and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page. "WOW!" they exclaimed, "that's really cool...but how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?" "There is no plug," she answered. "It doesn't need a plug." "Then where do you put the batteries?" they persisted. "It doesn't need batteries either." she continued. "Wow! This is so cool!" they exclaimed. "Someone should have invented this a long time ago!" -<>- So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off! -<>- I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother. "Things haven't changed that much," she said. "The only difference is, before he didn't listen to me. Now, he can't." -<>- A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye." -<>- _ ( | | __,--./|.--,__ .` \ \ / / `. .` \ | / `. / / ^|^ \ \ / / | |o | \ \ /===/ | | | \===\ /___/ | |o | \___\ | | | | |o | | | | | |o | | | | | |o | |_____/\_____| jgs While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit perfectly around his neck." -<>- A literature buff, my friend Larry installed an answering machine on his telephone. Instead of the usual instructions about leaving a message, Larry recorded a parody of Hamlet's famous soliloquy: "To speak, or not to speak, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to leave a message after the beep, or to take arms against a sea of answering machines, and by opposing, end them. To dial, to speak, no more. Thus answering machines do make cowards of us all." ========================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: +---+ |\ \ +-----------------------+ | +---+ \ --+ | | \ \ | | \ |/ +--+ | \ (c_ | | | \ \ \ | | \ | | | \ + | | \ \| DM| \-------------+ +---+ \ \ \ \ \ \ +----------------------+ >Darwin Awards - Lawyer Aloft Lawyer Aloft 1996 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (1996, Toronto) Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane of glass with his shoulder and plunged twenty-four floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry, thirty-nine, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Garry had previously conducted the demonstration of window strength without mishap, according to police reports. The managing partner of the law firm that employed the deceased told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Garry was "one of the best and brightest" members of the two-hundred-man association. -<>- .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| >Marriage You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. ------------------------------------------------ At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." ------------------------------------------------ A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine. ------------------------------------------------ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him! ------------------------------------------------ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished... ---------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." ----------------------------------------------- Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. ---------------------------------------------- Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late." ---------------------------------------------- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. ---------------------------------------------- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. -------------- --------------------------------- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. ----------------------------------------------- First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." ----------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex. -<>- >Two Carrots Two carrots were walking down the road one day when all of a sudden a car drove by and hit one of them. The other carrot took the injured carrot to the hospital. After examining him the doctor came into the waiting room and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is your friend will live. The bad news is he'll be a vegetable the rest of his life." -<>- __)), //_ _) ( "\" \_-/ ,---/ '---. / - - \ / \_. _|__,/ \ / )\ )\_ \ / _/ ( ' ) / / / | (_____) | / /,' / \/ /, _/(_ ( ._, )-' `--,/ |____|__| | ) | | / | | / \ | / `| | _) | | | | | / \ | | | \ | | \ | \_ gnv /__( '-._`, >Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves). In reality, Rednecks are everywhere, not just the South. YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF... ...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY. ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) . ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits. ...You don't know what a moon pie is. ...You've never had an RC Cola. ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. ...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips ...You have no idea what a polecat is. ...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog ...You don't have bangs. ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes." ...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich. ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. ...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway. ....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. ...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state. ...You call binoculars opera glasses. ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice) ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie) ...You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's. ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. ...None of your fur coats are homemade -<>- _.--"""--._ .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ >Office Dog A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job." "Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!" "No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he'll have me answering the phone too!" -<>- _.-._ ..-.. _.-._ (_-.-_) /|'.'|\ (_'.'_) mrf.\-/. \)\-/(/ ,-.-. __/ /-. \__ __/ ' ' \__ __/'-'-'\__ ( (___/___) ) ( (_/-._\_) ) ( (_/ \_) ) '.Oo___oO.' '.Oo___oO.' '.Oo___oO.' see no evil hear no evil talk no evil >Things You Don't Want To Hear in a Department Store 10. "You want to use the fitting room or try this on at my place?" 9. "Check it out -- this one's good for hiding body parts" 8. "You know how we can offer such low prices? We're connected to the mafia" 7. "Try our new scent -- it makes you smell just like Regis" 6 Last night I was so tired after work I just conked out right here on the couch and didn't even go home for a show. 5. "Can I take a picture of your feet for my web site?" 4. "I live in a dark, greasy space under the escalator" 3. "For today only, you can pay for your purchases with hugs" 2. "Have you seen a chimp in boys' overalls?" 1. "If you're interested, I sell the same junk out of my van, half-price" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit Awww Animals 9 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals9.html Sgt. Reckless http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sgtreckless.html Tierpark Leopard Cubs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopardcubs.html Buy A Dog! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buyadog.html Jesus Clinic! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html Maria The Goose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goose.html Chalk Art 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart5.html Trash Shadow Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html Awesome Hotel! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/qhotel.html Amazing Cop Cars 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copcars2.html Backpack Cat! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/backpack.html Extreme Camping! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/camp.html Elephant Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephants.html Pink The Pig Puppy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pigpuppy.html Naval Fleet Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/navalart.html Keukenhof Gardens http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kgardens.html -<>- >Super Bowl Ad The Trump Team Purchased 60 seconds of commercial time for a Super Bowl ad. GET EARLY VIEWING ACCESS! The Fake News media will do everything they can to ensure our Super Bowl ad never sees the light of day. Let's DEMAND they air it. This is so urgent, that we’ve decided that the first 1,000,000 Patriots to sign our Petition will receive EARLY VIEWING ACCESS. After signing this petition you'll receive a text message. In order to get early access to our Super Bowl ad you must reply with your zip code. You'll receive the ad on your phone in a few days. Add your name now: https://tinyurl.com/u5x9flu -<>- Funny Video on Facebook - New Pelosi Song https://tinyurl.com/uy4dj65 Funny Dogs and cats https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDxx1TnWTX0 Full Winter Index! https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY MADE THIS AND IT JUST CAME OUT AND HAS HAD 6 MILLION HITS. - (Thank God we now have Trump) http://www.youtube.com/embed/JVAhr4hZDJE Sit back and relax as you listen to Song of The Seas by Vangelis and enjoy some beautiful scenery and ocean wildlife. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4-MgpeC0hE --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! Thanks to the power of high-definition, ultra-slow motion cameras, we've been able to witness things never before possible. Even ordinary occurrences like a match strike looks mesmerizing and alien.See what a burning match looks like at 4,000 frames per second http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_074G_bk5sY&feature=player_embedded Shin Lim - the the winner from America's Got Talent 2018 - is amazing as always! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhJRq12bZJY --- ...Wow! Thanks LouiseAu! Shucking corn isn't a lot of fun so Ken teaches you how to prepare fresh corn on the cob without those pesky corn silks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzYtMeIFH8o --- ...Great Info! Thanks LouiseAu! I have no idea what these two cats are talking about but they seem to be having a very animated conversation. My guess is they are probably taking about how great it is to sleep sixteen hours a day, eat when they wake up, and not have any dogs around. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974&feature=player_embedded Some unusual robberies by a number of rather sneaky animals ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpmCufQPTSs&feature=player_embedded --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Send Out The Clowns! https://www.youtube.com/embed/osYZ1uZasN8 --- ...Yep! HaHa! They got that right! The democratic party and fake news is a bunch of nasty clowns! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I read about a company that's working on technology that would let your pet video chat with you. It's fun to get a video chat from your dog, but depressing to watch your cat decline your call." -Jimmy Fallon "Saudi Arabia has lifted a 35-year ban on movie theaters, and the first movie to screen publicly was "The Emoji Movie." So, the ban is back on." -Conan O'Brien "A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally a medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day." -Seth Meyers "Some news for travelers here. I read that British Airways is getting rid of reclining seats on their planes. And if you think that's bad, Southwest just announced that their new seats only recline forward." -Jimmy Fallon "Anybody here drink water but wish you could pay more for it? Well, good news, folks, because the next big startup craze in Silicon Valley is companies offering consumers the chance to get 'off the water grid' with something called 'raw water,' which is water that is unfiltered, untreated, and unsterilized. Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane." -Stephen Colbert "During a political protest on Capitol Hill today, 82 rabbis were arrested. It's the first time D.C. police have dispersed a crowd by spraying them with bacon." -Conan O'Brien "Two new ax-throwing bars will open in Boston this year. Boston is getting a new bar where people can try ax- throwing. So far, all the customers give it one-and-a-half thumbs up." -Jimmy Fallon "A Florida man has been arrested for stealing a $1,500 dog from a pet store and trading it for crack. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the question: How much is that doggie in the window?" -Seth Meyers "Professional race car driver Danica Patrick is dating again, after breaking up with her previous boyfriend, a NASCAR driver. When asked why that relationship didn't work out, Patrick explained, 'We were just going in circles.'" -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************