Halloween Candy And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) An eye, by F.L. Catalyst : Visual Anterior axis pole Anterior \\ | chamber \..|.. / Conjunctiva .:``\\'|'```/'. | ,:''..'"\"|""/'..`<-----Cornea ..,:',;'____\\| ____`;.`:... Iris----->;-~~~~..-\+--..~~~~-;./'~~`Ciliary body ,;'.:;;;==(Lens X `)=|;;;;. `; `\ Medial ,;'' ;'|'''| `:.. |\ ..;' |`````:. `;|, rectus->' Ciliary | ```+\\' | `:./' `:. .;',;' .;muscle | | \ Posterior :. :;.`: ,',' ;; Lens | \\ chamber ;; ;.` ` ;' ;: ligament| \ ;; ; ; ;: | \\ ;; ; ; ;: Vitreous | \ ;<-------Retina ; ;:. | \\ ;; ; `; `:. | \ ;';<------Choroid `; `:. Optic | \\ ;',' ; `; `:`. disk | \ ;';' <------Sclera `; `: :./ | \\Fovea,';' ;' `, `.;..,, | \| .'',' .;' `;. .:::: ```...|...'''\/'.:' ;' Dura,' .:::::`,,,,..|..,,,,''' ,;'' ; /:::::: ''|'' ..;'' /Optic:| ;,....|....,,;''' nerve:| ; ``+'' | Posterior pole -Catalyst- >Prayer Request: Some of you may know I suffer from eye troubles. I have an inherited degenerative cornea condition. Both my brothers suffer from it as well. My worse symptoms started 3 years ago. I'd wake to find my eyesight all cloudy like in a fog. After about a half hour they would clear up and I'd have normal vision. 'Degenerative' means the condition continues to worsen until you become totally blind. My eye doctor says I am considered legally blind right now. Fortunately for me, my son found these highly magnified glasses made in Germany for folks like me, or else, I would not have been able to do my work on the group and the website like I have been doing this year. Sometimes my vision is too bad even for them. It varies from day to day. Wednesday I am going for a cornea transplant surgery in my worse eye. I will have the part of my cornea that isn't replacing the cells needed to clear my lens with a good one. I also will be getting a correction to my extreme stigmatism that has troubled me for most of my life and having a cataract that is also causing me blurry vision in my left eye removed. Since I along with God through Jesus Christ are the only ones working on this group and the web site, I ask for your prayers that all will go smoothly and my healing will be quick and complete so I will be able to get back to work without too much down time. I will try and get the inspirations out Tuesday so there may not be too much of an interruption to it. I do not know what condition I will be in so am unsure of how long I will be unable to work. The doctor had said it takes a month or so to heal. I am hoping to be back within a week or two. But I will do what is best and won't risk losing my eye. Please do continue to visit and share the web site links with all your friends and family even in my absence. The site will need the traffic revenue. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Great Big Huggums and God's Blessings! :) -<>- >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This first hot new page is from our friends Nancy and LouiseA. This artist is from my home state. It boggles my mind how good he is! The video is excellent too! Check these out here... ____ (_ _) . . / / .`_._'_.. / / \ o / / / Pru \ / / _/ /_ `. ~. `\___/'./~.' /.~'`. .`'`.`.'`'`.~.`'~.`'`.~` Sand Sculpture Art 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart5.html --- ...Wow! Really Expert Art! Thanks Nancy And LouiseA! This next sizzler is combined from forwards from our friends Nancy, Linda, Geniann and Bunni. This artist is truly amazing! His work is outstanding! Be sure to be amazed by the videos here too! . // _.-"""""'//-'""""-._ .', , , , : : ` ` ` `. / , , \'-._ : :_.-'/ ` ` \ / , , :\(_)\ /(_)/ : ` ` \ | , , , \__//\\__/ . . ` ` | | . .:_ : : '--`: : . _: ; :| | : : \\_ _' : _: :__// , , | \ ` ` \ \/ \/\/ \_/ / , , / \ ` ` \_/\_/\_/\_/\/ , , / `._ ` . : : : , , _.' `-..............-' bni Extreme Pumpkin Art 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin3.html --- ...I love this! Thank You Ladies! -<>- __ .--._,' `\ (__.' '-, / /_ _ \ __|e)e) | .'_ ; ,`) | (_) | /_.----._.' / \_/\___/ ,d8` \ / .-\\,oo8P` ; | / |;"` | | | || , _ /`'. \ './/'\. .' /.--;'-. | '--'.-._;' .' .-' /'-;` \ (((. .-'\ (((_.' \ ) jgs '._).'`--' `-` ^~^ We Had An Extraordinary Month Of Sharing And Caring! * Be Sure To Check These Out and Share Them: World's Unique Boneyards! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boneyards.html Witty Comebacks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html Jeff's Paper Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/paperart2.html Did You See That 2? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto2.html Right Angle Photos 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto2.html Kids Being Kids 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids2.html Halloween Lip Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lipart2.html Newsworthy Animals 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals2.html Newsworthy Animals 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals3.html Identity Theft 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft4.html Macro Spider Photos! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spiders.html Weird Old Vehicles http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html Bucket List 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist2.html .0. / \ ; \_/ ; | | | | | | _______; ;_______ `======='\ /`=======` \ / _ | | _ _( \____|=|____/ )_ ( .---. .---. ) `-' / \ '-' / HUG \ ; ; | .---.|__, jgs : / :--' .--\ \ | `" `"".-' < =""` `"== `""""""` =""` `"""===="""` =""` `""==="""` ^ May God Abundantly Bless All Our Sweet Contributors! * ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Mud Baths At The Spa .-""""""-. A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor .' '. tells him, "I have some very bad news / O O \ for you. I'm afraid that you're afflicted : ` : with a fatal and incurable disease." | | So the guy asks, "Well isn't there ANYTHING : .------. : I can do, doc?" \ ' ' / '. .' "Hmmm.... maybe you should go to a spa and jgs '-......-' start taking daily mud baths." The doctor tells the patient. "Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?" "Probably not.... But at least you'll get used to being covered in dirt!" _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) Writings on Hospital Charts Actual writings on hospital charts ("Actual"? Mmmm...) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared The patient is tearful and crying constsntly. She also appears to be depressed The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993 Discharge status: Alive but without my permission Healthy appearing decrepit 68 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful The patient refused autopsy The patient has no previous history of suicides Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the last 3 days Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch She is numb from her toes down While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home The skin was moist and dry Occasional,constant infrequent headaches Patient was alert and unresponsive Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized The lab test indicated abnormal lover function The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. Skin: somewhat pale but present. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 3 is Housewife's Day and Sandwich Day November 4 is King Tut Day and U.S. General Election Day November 5 is Gunpowder Day November 6 is Marooned without a Compass Day and Saxophone Day November 7 is Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day November 8 is Dunce Day November 9 is Chaos Never Dies Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .-~~~~-. / __ \ | / \ / `~~~~~-. || | 0 @ || | _. | \| | \ / \ / /`~~~~~~` ('--'""`) jgs /`"""""`\ >Jeans A wife had suffered for a week from a really nasty virus and it left her feeling completely wiped out. On the first day that she could crawl out of bed, she discovered a "silver lining." Pulling on a pair of jeans, she called out to her husband, "These jeans fit! They finally fit!" "That's great," the husband replied, "but they're mine." -<>- >Nursing Home I work in a nursing home, and one morning I was helping a gentleman who was particularly hard to wake get ready for breakfast. As I coaxed him to sit up, he fixed his twinkling blue eyes on my face and said, "My, you're pretty! Have I asked you to marry me yet?" "No you haven't," I replied. "Good," he said, "because I could not put up with this every morning!" -<>- >Proposal When eighty-four-year-old William fell in love with his eighty-three- year-old neighbor Phyllis, he thought his heart would burst with joy. However, little did he know that it was another part of his body that would give way first. Getting down on his knees to propose to Phyllis, he told her that he wanted to ask her two questions. Firstly, would she marry him? "Oh yes," she replied. "But what's your second question?" "Will you help me up?" -<>- >Roller Coaster At the beginning of the school year, I asked my Grade 2 students to write about something exciting they did that summer, then to draw a picture to illustrate it. One student proudly presented his account of a ride on a roller coaster, but he had not drawn a picture. When I asked why he hadn't done this, he declared, "I couldn't. I didn't see anything because my eyes were closed." -<>- >Speed Limit Sign on the outskirts of a small town: "Our speed limit is twenty-five with a fine of three dollars per mile for faster driving. Pick out a speed you can afford." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ..-"""--. .' '. .'_ _ \ _..-' 0) 0) ,;;,'. .' /,;;;;; \ / ___ / ,;;;;; | ; (;;;) , ,| ;;;;;; | ; `"` ,_ .'(.-')| ;;;;;; / \ \ ` ( \';;;'.' '._;--' _ _ '-./`--` '-, _ _ ) (`-/ \/ |_--; ;- \ ) \ \.' .-' | / | / \ /'._.'\ .-""-./`'---;-""-. | / \ / \ | | | | ||__.-`) | | | |/__.-' | |_.| |' jgs \ / \ / '----' '----' >SMILES Answering the phone, the priest was surprised to hear the caller introduce herself as an IRS auditor. "But we do not pay taxes," the priest said. "It isn't you, Father, it's one of your parishioner, Sean McCullough. He indicates on his tax return that he gave a donation of $15,000 to the church last year. Is this, in fact, the truth?"... The priest smiled broadly. "The check hasn't arrived yet, but I'm sure I'll have it when I remind dear Sean." ------- After being retired for a couple of years and completing all the jobs my wife had lined up for me, I began to feel somewhat useless and decided to enroll in a couple of courses at the local adult-education school. I noted, upon registration, that there was no tuition fee for a person over 60. As I handed my tediously-filled-out papers to the clerk, I announced, "I'm 63." Then, pulling out my wallet, I asked if she wanted to see my driver's license. She replied, "No, that's okay." A little surprised, I asked, "Oh, do I look honest?" "No," she answered. "You look 63." -------- I found New York City immense and confusing on my first trip there. One evening during the rush hour, I stopped at a newsstand in the heart of Times Square and asked the vendor which direction was north. "Look, buddy," he replied in a loud and annoyed voice. "We go uptown, we got downtown, and we got cross-town. We don't got north." -------- I had volunteered to help my cousin with moving to a new town house. Loading the truck went fast, but several of us had to ride in the truck, so the cab of our rented moving truck was crowded. Too crowded, as there was no room left for my cousin's enormous, black, Great Dane in the cab. So, laughing, we put him in the driver's seat of the pickup we were towing. Once on the road, there was a sudden eruption of noise. We looked back to see the Dane's huge paws resting on the horn while he howled in protest. As we were about to pull over, another car came alongside the driver, rolled down his window and hollered, "Hey, lady! .... Why don't you let him pass?" ------- I've been told that a way to feel better is to finish things I have started. Today I finished 2 bags of potato chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. -------- There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice. He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back!" -------- Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me. I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am. Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different spots, looking for the fish to bite. Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We know where the fish aren't!" -------- Young lady to her mother, sadly: "My boyfriend proposed to me." "Then why are you so sad?" "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." -------- Last night my wife and I went to a Chinese restaurant. We ordered the house specialty, Chicken Surprise. The meal was served in a cast iron pot with a heavy lid. Just as my wife was about to serve herself, the lid rose up slightly and she briefly saw two beady little eyes looking around. Suddenly the lid slammed back down. "Did you see that!?" she asks me. I hadn't noticed anything, so I reached for the lid to look in the pot. Just as I reached for it, the lid rose up slightly and two little eyes looked around before the lid slammed down again. I called the waiter over and said, "There's something alive in that pot! We see his eyes looking out!" "Please sir, what did you order?" "Chicken Surprise." "Ah! So sorry. I make mistake. I bring you Peeking Duck." -------- Husband: "Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar." Wife: "Are you taking me out for a drink?" Husband: "Don't be silly woman. I'm turning the heat off." -------- One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went down 25 feet more, and minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?" The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written,and wrote, ..."HELP! I'm drowning, you moron!!! ------- Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their way up through the vaudeville circuit, and they remained friends until Benny died. One day, they were lunching at a Hollywood restaurant, and Benny was wrestling with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread. "I like butter on my bread," he said. "But my diet strictly forbids butter. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do." "Jack," Burns said, "don't be ridiculous. You're a grown man. You should be able to decide, without your wife's help, whether or not to butter your own bread." "You're right," Benny said. "I'll just have the butter, that's all." When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns pointed to Benny and said, "He's paying." "What?" Benny said. "Why should I have to pay the whole bill?" "Because if you don't," Burns said, "I'll tell Mary about the butter!" -------- A cowboy is driving down a back road near Cotulla, Texas... sign in front of a restaurant reads: Happy Hour Special... Lobster Tail and Beer 'Hot Diggity!' He says to himself, "my three favorite things!! --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friends LouiseA And gh0striders :) __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that Nancy Pelosi, has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in making love. A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA and gh0striders! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) o oo o o o ___o o o /`._;o o | / o ;_ | `-' jg >What The Halloween Candy You Gave Out Says About You You may not realize it, but the candy you choose to give out to your neighborhood children every Halloween speaks volumes about you. This is the only impression some people will have of you, so make sure it's as positive as possible. Next Time you set that bowl out, read over this important guide to see what your candy says about you. Fun Sized Skittles: You're cool. You spent a few extra dollars to get the good bag of candy. You won't be a hero, but kids will know you're a good house to visit. Fun Sized Starburst: You're a risk taker. If a kid opens up the packet and gets a red and an orange, you did well. If he opens it up and there's two yellows, you might as well have spit in his bag. Peanut M&M's: You probably don't have kids in school. If you did, you'd know that peanuts are now basically worse than crystal meth. Full Sized Candy Bars: You're looking to have statues built of you in the middle of the neighborhood. Word of your great works will be passed down from generation to generation and you will be praised for all of time. Toothbrushes: You're a dentist. No one else is going to invest at least $1 per kid on Halloween. So that means you grabbed a bunch of toothbrushes from work with your name on them and passed them out. You basically gave out business cards, you monster. Junior Mints: You're over 40. No one under the age of 40 thinks that children enjoy the taste of chocolate covered toothpaste. Lemonheads: You're stingy, and either bought a bag of candy and decided to keep all the good ones for yourself, or you're still using the same economy bag of candy you bought from Costco in 1997. An Apple: You're insufferable or Michelle Obama. WE GET IT! Childhood obesity is a problem. Can't you just let it go for one night? Those Weird Black and Orange Candies That Tastes Like a Shoe and Have No Label: You're a monster. You hate joy and you want to spread sorrow. Unwrapped, Loose Candy Corn: You're a serial killer. --- ...LMAO! Good ones! Thanks Karen! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From AFA: Election Day: Get your free voter guide here Tomorrow, our nation will choose its leaders. From city halls to our nation’s capital, Americans will decide who will represent their values. This is a critical time in our nation’s history and I hope you will not remain silent and allow others to pick your leaders for you. You have a voice, you have a vote! 'To help you choose wisely, we’ve created an AFA Action Voter Guide tailored especially for you! http://tinyurl.com/nzgdmjb -<>- >From BizarreNews: [An Et-Ahem! - edited] Does the terror group ISIS have no scruples? Is there no depth of depravity to which they will not sink? Apparently not, because one of their agents has committed a crime against nature right here on our soil. The whole sordid affair began when Connecticut resident Alice Woodruff noticed a commotion in her yard. When she went to investigate she found her neighbor rolling around naked with her pit bull. "I thought my dog had killed somebody because I saw a man underneath her," Woodruff explained to local news. "I started to scream 'get off my dog, you have to get out of here.' He said, 'No, today is the day we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.'" As it turned out, it was the intruder who was attacking the dog. Woodruff said the man appeared mentally ill as he was telling her that the terror group ISIS sent him. "He pranced through the yard naked, yelling 'this is our day and you have to prosper in it,'" Woodruff said. "I ran in, got my gun out of the bedroom and showed him the clip went in, but I always kept the gun at my side while I was talking to him. He kept saying this is the plan, that we were going to die today in a massacre. He didn't seem to care that I had the gun, and I kept it down. Then I gave him a warning and shot the gun to the right into the dirt." "He put his arms out and started walking toward me, telling me to kill him, but to know that as soon as I kill him that we were going to die," Woodruff said. "Honestly, the whole time I thought there was a bomb or gun and he was going to take it out and do a massacre." I'm not sure where Ms. Woodruff thought he was keeping a bomb if he was completely naked. The Waterbury Police Department is investigating the incident. Authorities plan to charge him with cruelty to an animal, s** assault and breach of peace. The man is currently hospitalized. I think if I were going to rape a dog I would pick something a little more docile and definitely more fluffy than a pit bull. A standard poodle, maybe. But then, I don't work for ISIS. *-- Fridge-raiding Teletubbie charged with burglary --* BETHLEHEM, Pa. (UPI) - Police in Pennsylvania said a man who dressed as the yellow Teletubbie and broke into a friend's home for leftover Chinese food has been charged with burglary. Bethlehem police said Lehigh University student Terez Owens Jr., 20, was dressed as Laa-Laa, the yellow Teletubbie, when he allegedly broke into a friend's house about 2 a.m. Sunday and filled his "man purse" with leftover Chinese food from the refrigerator. The door to the residence was damaged during the break-in, police said. Officers caught up to Owens, who police said was dressed up for a nearby Halloween party, shortly after the incident, but he was released when the victim initially declined to press charges. "I guess the victims thought about it and the landlord got involved with the damage," Bethlehem police Chief Mark DiLuzio said. Owens has now been charged with burglary, police said. The chief said the case was unusual for the department. "Not that many Teletubbies get arrested," he said. "You can't make it up." *-- Officer allegedly sought to sniff woman's feet --* HOUSTON (UPI) - Texas prosecutors said a former school district officer told a woman she could go if she let him smell her feet or handed over her underwear. The Harris County District Attorney's Office said Cy-Fair School District Officer Patrick Quinn, who has since been fired, pulled over a woman at 3 a.m. Aug. 11 for an expired sticker and told her that her vehicle smelled of marijuana. Quinn, who prosecutors said should not have been conducting traffic stops as a school resource officer, claims to have found a marijuana grinder in the woman's car. The woman, who denied ownership of the grinder, told authorities Quinn put her in the back of his patrol car. She said the officer told her she could go free if she allowed him to smell her feet or if she gave him her underwear. Documents filed by prosecutors say Quinn told the woman if she allowed him to smell her feet, "he was probably going to lick them, too." However, Quinn apparently had a change of heart and told the woman to "forget about it," the district attorney's office said. The woman, who Quinn allowed to leave the scene, reported the incident the following day. Her insurance card was found at the scene of the traffic stop and fingerprints on the card matched Quinn, prosecutors said. Quinn was charged with two counts of official oppression. *-- Shower peeper claimed testing 'waterproof' phone --* EXETER, England (UPI) - A British man accused of recording a woman showing in a swimming pool cubicle claimed he was testing if his phone was waterproof. Exeter Magistrates' Court heard Zak Hardy, 18, of Plymouth, England, used his cellphone to take video of a naked woman showing in an adjacent cubicle at the Riverside swimming pool in Exeter. The woman noticed the phone over the cubicle wall was pointed at her with the blue recording light on and alerted staff, who told police the man moved to a different cubicle before he was confronted. Hardy told police he had been holding his phone under the shower to test if it was waterproof and he had accidentally activated the camera. However, his defense lawyer, Nick Bradley, said Hardy now admits he gave a false account to police, and he admitted filming the woman on purpose. "He accepts what he did," Bradley said. "It is not the most serious offence although it was of course upsetting for the complainant." Hardy, whose phone was destroyed, was sentenced to 18 months probation and ordered to pay $242 in compensation. He will also be registered as a sex offender for five years, the court ruled. *-- 'Right' spelled wrong by British road painters --* WARSOP, England (UPI) - Contractors painting the road outside a British supermarket's parking lot mistakenly spelled "right" as "rihgt." The mistake in spelling "right turn" next to the Co-op store in Warsop, England, was first spotted Friday afternoon and photographed by resident Eric Hill before being painted over by the contractors. A spokesman for the Co-op supermarket said the contractors were made aware of the mistake shortly after they finished painting and it was corrected "as quickly as possible." "You would have thought getting a right turn road sign right wouldn't be too difficult," one resident said. "But I guess spelling isn't the road workers' strongpoint." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ,-----. /' `\ ; ----,---- ; | `o- |`o- | | |_ | | _____, | \_ _/ | `-----' | __.-; ;-.__ _,-' ; : ; ; `-._ _,' `. ,`-,_____ \ : : / ____,-'-, >Good Old Frank A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank ... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank . He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special." Cabbie: "Oh heck there's more”. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything. Not like me - I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow, some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank ." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his wife." --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-._.--._ / / -. | \ |__ ,-'______.-' '( c-(_)(_)__ \ .._ . ) \ / `-' /\-|\_ /-. \ / ( , o)\ | | o)\ c - _/\\ / \ \=====| | //======| | / =====_/ |/\===/=/ )==)=) (==|=| | |=|______ (_.-. ) ) '--''-' [nabis] A tobacco company sent Dave several packages of cigarettes with the explanation: "We are sending you some of our finest cigarettes. We hope you enjoy them and will want more." After several months the tobacco company received this reply from Dave: "I got your cigarettes and soaked them in a quart of water which I sprayed on my bug-infested rosebushes. Every bug died! These cigarettes make best poison ever! Please send me some more next month in case any bugs survived." -<>- My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!" -<>- _, _ .' `. ___.>"''-..-. `-. ; .--""" .-._@; ; !_.--..._ .' / .[_@'`'. ; / : .' ; :_.._ `. : ; ;[ _T-" `.'-. `-. \ .-: ; `.`-=_,88p. _.}.-" `-.__.-' \ /L._ Y",P$T888; "" .-'_.-' / ;$$$$$$]8P; \ / / / "Y$$P" ^" fsc ;\_ `.\_._ ]__\ \___; >Guess The Horror Movie... "I've been listening to the distress signal, and I think I made a mistake in the translation. I thought it said "liberate mae" - "save me." But it's not "mae." It's "liberate tutamae" - "save yourself." And it gets worse. I think that says, "liberate tuta-mae ex inferis." "Save yourself... from hell." *** "It is no laughing matter! We have a right to be proud! What devil or witch was ever so great as Atilla, whose blood flows in these veins? Blood...Is too precious a thing in these times. The war-like days are over. The victories of my great race are but a tale to be told. I am the last of my kind." *** "We are Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some, angels to others. * Answers at the end * -<>- A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye." -<>- Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband. When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!" he said. "It's my old Plymouth!" -<>- My friend had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. A-ha, she thought, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silver- smith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present." She took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith examined the tray carefully, shook his head and said, "Lady, this can only be done so many times!" -<>- While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit per- fectly around his neck." -<>- Recently in Traffic Court a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you $57. Next." -<>- Two stockbrokers went to lunch. The one said to the other, "Let's relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market for once." "Good idea. Let's talk about women." "Okay... common or preferred?" -<>- ... ;::::; ;::::; :; ;:::::' :; ;:::::; ;. ,:::::' ; OOO\ ::::::; ; OOOOO\ ;:::::; ; OOOOOOOO ,;::::::; ;' / OOOOOOO ;:::::::::`. ,,,;. / / DOOOOOO .';:::::::::::::::::;, / / DOOOO ,::::::;::::::;;;;::::;, / / DOOO ;`::::::`'::::::;;;::::: ,#/ / DOOO :`:::::::`;::::::;;::: ;::# / DOOO ::`:::::::`;:::::::: ;::::# / DOO `:`:::::::`;:::::: ;::::::#/ DOO :::`:::::::`;; ;:::::::::## OO ::::`:::::::`;::::::::;:::# OO `:::::`::::::::::::;'`:;::# O `:::::`::::::::;' / / `:# ::::::`:::::;' / / `# unknown *--------------- Horror Movie Quote Answers ----------------* "I've been listening to the distress signal..." Event Horizon (1997) "It is no laughing matter! We have a right to be proud!" Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) "We are Explorers in the further regions of experience." Hellraiser (1987) ========================================================= >-->From AndyChapa: ..::''''::.. .:::. .;'' ``;. .... ::::: :: :: :: :: ,;' .;: () ..: `:::' :: :: :: :: ::. ..:,:;.,:;. . :: .::::. `:' :: .:' :: :: `:. :: '''::, :: :: :: `:: :: ;: .:: : :: : : :: ,:'; ::; :: :: :: :: :: ::,::''. . :: `:. .:' :: `:,,,,;;' ,;; ,;;, ;;, ,;;, ,;;, `:,,,,:' :;: `;..``::::''..;' ``::,,,,::'' ** "Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible." -- Cherie Carter-Scott ** A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. -- Benjamin Franklin ** "You can pretend to be what you are not, only for a while. The real you, the true you, is just a scratch beneath the surface. Stop hiding. The world needs the real you!" -- Bob Perks ** "What's possible exceeds what's impossible. Think about it. Do all you can do that is possible today, and in your tomorrow, what was impossible will be possible." ~~ Mark Victor Hansen ** 'Laughter can relieve tension, soothe the pain of disappointment, and strengthen the spirit for the formidable tasks that always lie ahead.' -- Dwight D. Eisenhhower- -<>- >** Keep at it: ** ~~~“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.” ~~ Albert Einstein ~~~“In the struggle between the stone and the water, in time, the water wins.” ~~ Chinese proverb ~~~“Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.” ~~ Anon. ---"Do not pray for easy lives, Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, Pray for powers equal to your task." ~- Phillips Brooks ---"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. ~~ Henry Van Dyke --<>- >A Visit To Doctor Clueless ** ** "Well, what have we here...?" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. ** "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" I'm stalling for time. ** "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. ** "Let me check your medical history." I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you. ** "Well, now, we have some good news and some bad news." The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. ** "This should be taken care of right away." I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. ** "Let me schedule you for some lab tests." I have a forty percent interest in the lab. ** "Let's see how it develops." Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that really needs to be cured. ** "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. ** "That's quite a nasty looking wound." I think I'm going to throw up. ** "This may smart a little." Last week two patients almost bit off their tongues. ** "This should fix you up." The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. Hope it works... ** "Everything seems to be normal." Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. ** "I'd like to run some more tests." I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. -<>- >Putting the Cat Out ** A couple is going out for an evening on the town. When they are almost ready to go, the wife tells her husband not to forget to put out the cat. However, after a Taxi arrives and as they go out the door the cat darts back in the house. Not wanting the cat shut in the house while they are out the husband goes back in to get the cat as the wife goes and gets in the cab. The wife not wanting it known that the house will be empty while they are out explains to the cab driver, "He is just going upstairs to say good-bye to mother." A short time later the husband comes down and gets in the cab. He says, "Sorry it took so long but the stupid old thing was under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger!" -<>- >Getting Organized ** The patient was adamant "I gotta see the doctor right away!" When he finally stood before the good doctor in an exam room he spluttered "Doc, I gotta have a kidney transplant, a liver transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung trans...." "WAIT just a minute" interrupted the Doctor. "Just tell me why you think you need all these transplants when you appear to be in good health?" "Okay Doc," the man slowed down briefly, "my boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized." -<>- >My Mom's Rules ** WHEN I came back to the States after a tour of duty with the Marines in Iraq, I stayed with my parents for a 30- day leave. Mom's rules were simple: I could come and go as I pleased, but I must let her know when I returned home each night. After one long evening with friends, I crept into the house and didn't knock on Mom's door. Late the next morning when I came down to breakfast, she glared at me with icy silence. "Look, Mom," I said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I got home safely last night, but what did you do all the time I was in Iraq?" "Well," she replied, "at least then I knew where you were!" -<>- >A Photo Touched up ** A woman brought an old picture of her deceased husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She asked the photographer if he could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on. "I forget," said she. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat." -<>- > Why Go To Church ** Coming out of church, Mrs. Hawkins asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is pregnant?" "I didn't even see her," admitted Mr. Hawkins. "And that dress Mrs. Jones was wearing," continued Mrs. Hawkins, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two! It was above her knees!" "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Hawkins. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Hawkins. "A lot of good it does you to go to church." -<>- >he Challenge ** Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Angel Wing Decoys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html Gasoline Price Humor http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gasoline.html This Is India http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/india.html Akiane Thru The Years http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy2.html Human Chameleon http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chameleon.html Typewriter Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/typeart2.html Aww Animals 8 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals8.html Humor In Politics 9 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics9.html Humor In Religion 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion3.html Life's Little Oops 11 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Upside Down House http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/downhouse.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Masculine Movements http://aol.it/IGxZIL Fine time to leave me Blue Shield This country singer nails it with “you picked a fine time to leave me Blue Shield”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLtssFSzFlE&feature=youtu.be --- ...Funny ones! Thanks Linda! Top Secret Drum Corps As you watch to the end of the show, keep in mind that if one drummer drops his stick, the show is over. This is in front of Edinburgh Castle http://www.youtube.com/embed/HW3QVLlK-kE?feature=player_embedded --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Save Our Lakes - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9gn6eaYlj0 Ceremonial Guard Bloopers http://www.flixxy.com/ceremonial-guard-bloopers.htm One of the Funniest Pregnancy Videos Eve http://tinyurl.com/jwntw4f --- ...LOL! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Dog-people out there know how much dogs love going for walks. If you so much as touch the leash they get so excited! Cats? Not quite so much. You have to see this funny video of a cat going for a "walk." Don't worry! He's wearing a specially designed leash just for cats that puts no pressure on the neck. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SSKatciX3hA It's not just cats and dogs that can be funny and adorable. Creatures from all around the world are just as cute and hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UF8qKZQ59HU Dom DeLuise performs The Egg Trick with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. This is not an easy trick to pull off and it could turn out messy if it goes wrong because the eggs aren't hard boiled. Dom and Johnny manage to have a great time with this trick and the audience loves it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl0B2JhZTF0&feature=player_embedded --- ...HaHa! These are rich! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say, 'White wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and... we're alcoholics, aren't we?'" -Jimmy Fallon "Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees." --David Letterman "Last night the San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 of the World Series. Of course, after the game fans in San Francisco celebrated as fans are known to do - by lighting their city on fire. I've never understood that. If your team wins, why not celebrate by destroying the other team's city?" -Jimmy Kimmel "My husband and I married for better or worse... He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse." "I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth - just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth." -Ronnie Shakes When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date. "There is a whole generation out there who, between ATM cards and credit cards, don't even know what cash looks like. You take out a wad of bills these days, and you might as well be pulling out beaver pelts to pay for that pizza." --Dennis Miller "National Guard troops patrol the nation's airports wearing jungle camouflage uniforms and carrying rifles. Nevertheless, it's done nothing to hold down crime in airports. They're still charging $4 for a candy bar." --Argus Hamilton "I don't go out with my single friends anymore, because I never have any fun. Go to a club, a guy comes over, says, 'Can I buy you a drink?' 'No, oh no, she's married.' Yeah, I'm married, but I'm thirsty. Why don't you shut up and let me have a free drink?" -Wanda Sykes-Hall >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************