Happy 4th Of July!... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ .-"""""""-. .' __ \_ / / \/ \ | \_0/\_0/______ |:. .' oo`\ |:. / \ |' ; | | |:.. . \_______ | |::.|' , \,_____\ / |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: /::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: jgs / \ # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # H A P P Y # # # # # # # # # # # # # # F O U R T H O F J U L Y # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # *~* Have A Happy, Safe, And Blessed 4th Of July Celebration! >From Our Friend PatDeE :) A humble history lesson for all of us Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence ? Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, Nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags. Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton. At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months. John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Now, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank God for these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid. Remember: freedom is never free! I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Amen! God Bless and have a great day. ... ...Amen! Thank You PatDeE! Freedom Isn't Free http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Do You Know Where Our Military Headstones Come From? http://www.imdb.com/video/cbs/vi826318105/ --- ...Awesome! God Bless Our Troops! Thanks PatDeE! Daily With Our Troops 3 http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily3.html -<>- >From Our Friend KarenF :) Fort McHenry & Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner PART 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UprqxlIuwg The Star Spangled Banner Part 2 of 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY7criAA-qU&feature=related John Wayne - America, Why I Love Her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuteyiYN6js --- ...Sweet! Most appreciated KarenF! -<>- ) ) ) ) ) ) ( ( ( ( ( ( ) ) ) ) ) ) (~~~~~~~~~) (~~~~~~~~~) | POWER | | POWER | | | | | I _._ I _._ I /' `\ I /' `\ I | N | I | N | f | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| f | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| .' | ||~~~~~~~~| | .' | | |~~~~~~~~| | /'______|___||__###___|____|/'_______|____|_|__###___|___| unknown >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) AP: "Millions Without Power' - We were among them. I do not ever remember most of our town being without power all at once but that is exactly what happened. We saw no stores open, no restaurants open, only one gas station open, and lots of emergency crews out. It was like a ghost town with everyone out and about but nothing working. Very strange. Roasting in near 100 degree weather over the weekend and having nothing to do but clean up all the down tree mess. watch the kids, and worry about friends and relatives in the same situation, and whether or not all the food in our refrigerator would rot or not, and if we'd have enough water for ourselves and to share and if we had enough gas in our car to drive out to help and check on his parents, Paul and I came to the conclusion that we are going to seriously look into getting a generator. The 'Pony-Express' made it to our house but other then that, it felt like we were a 'little house on the prairie' only with close neighbors we never knew we had. We are praising God we didn't have to wait until Wednesday like they said we might and lifting those still suffering without power. It is no fun. -<>- .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. __, ,___) ______) ,_) ,_) _____),_) (--|__| _, _ _ (--|_ _ ,_-|-|_ _ |_ (--| | _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| (_)(_)| | | | (_)| |(_)|(_| ( | | ,_| ( |_, | (__| ,_| .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. *~* We Had An AWESOME Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month *~* Be sure to check these out and share them with all your loved ones! Best Buddies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestbuds.html Toothpick Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/toothpick.html Political Humor 8! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics8.html Among The Orchids! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orchids.html Dick Clark's House! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dclark.html Scientists Unveil New Species! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newspecies.html Amazing Homes Around The World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ahouse.html Rarely Seen Africa! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/africa.html Amazing Garden! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homegarden.html *~* Big THANK YOU And Huggums In Christ To All Our Sweet Contributors! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Beaker of Cat's Urine ______ (______) | | Instructions on how to Collect a Beaker of Cat's Urine | | | | 1. Treat the beaker like your most prized possession. | | | | 2. Solemnly intone the word "no" every time the cat |`--'| approaches the beaker. | | __.--------.,__ | | 3. After completing steps #1 \ `--------'|_ \ | | and #2, leave the cat alone \ ===| || | | with the beaker for thirty | ===| || | | seconds. |._____===|_|| | | | ===|__/ jgs | | jgs | ===| `.__.' `---------' ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE JULY HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 1 is Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day and Build A Scarecrow Day July 2 is Visitation Of The Virgin Mary Day July 3 is Stay Out Of The Sun Day and Compliment Your Mirror Day July 4 is National Country Music Day and Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day July 5 is Workaholics Day July 6 is National Fried Chicken Day July 7 is National Strawberry Sundae Day July 8 is Video Games Day ===================================================================== >-->From our Friend Annie :) oooo oooo o$$"""$oo$$"""""$o $" $$" $$$$ $" "" $$$$$o $ $$$$$o GOTTA HAVE A HAT! $ $$$$$$ $" "$$$$$ $ $$$$$$ $" $$$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ o$$$$$ $ $$$$$$ $ o$$$$$$ ooo o$$$$$$$ ooo$$$$"" $ oo$$$$$""""""oooo oo"$$$$$$$ oo"" oooooooooooooooo$$""" o$$"oo o" $$$$$$$ "$o oo$$$$$" $$$$o"$o $ $$$$$$$ " ""oooooooooo$$$$" o$ $$$$$$o"$ o $$"" oo$$$" o$$ o$$$$$$$o$ "o $$ oo$$$$"" o$$$ o$$$$$$$$$$$ "$o $$$oo $$$$$$$ ooo$$$$$"" "$$oooo "" ooo$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$"" """"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"""""" """""""""""""""""" >Walmatians A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a hat reading "Viet Nam Veteran." I had never had one of these before and was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ron was considerate enough to take the time to mail it to me. Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer, but since I've retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Wal-martians is always good for some comic relief....besides, I usually feel much more 'normal' after seeing some of the people who frequent that establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes... While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early 30s, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?" "No" I replied. "Then why are you wearing that hat?" NOT being 1 to let a GOLDEN opportunity like this 'go by' unchallenged, I said "Because I couldn't find my one for the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort. "The War of 1812, huh" the Wal-martian queried, "When was that ?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity with THIS 'fish' obviously 'on the hook; I said. "1936" He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the 'War of 1812' if it was in 1936?" "It was a 'Black Op'. No one IS supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun. "Dude !...Really !" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?" I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission." "Dude !" He was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "That is seriously awesome ! But, didn't you, like, kind of stand out ?" "Not really", I said hesitantly..."The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a _very serious_ tone..."You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything." "Oh yeah ?" he said, giving me the "don't threaten me" look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?" With a really hard look, I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?" The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was laughing so hard she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw the dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly serious' look, I made the "I see you" gesture at my eyes. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot. What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a 'Homeland Security' hat. Whoever said retirement is boring, one just needs the right kind of hat. Annie You are as old as you remember you are. --- ...LMAO! Great! I DO Love hats! Thanks Annie! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) .-"""""""--, /\ ,:: : `- ,+:::; ; (_ : `-. ; :,_ ; ;::+. .+:L / ";; : , .+:J. ;;' "-._ `"^" : :' ____ ; ;_..--"" ""-+.._: '._.-|; ,*""-. ,-""*\\ \_. .-' ;: \`.`-. .' .' .' | '--' '--' ;.`. `-. '+' / .' ; :::.`-. `-.-' ; , / .' .: , ;::::. `-. `. : : : ,:::: `" ::::::::. \ \ : : ; ::::::: ,--. ::::::::::; ; ; ; ; : `::::::. `--' ,;::::::::::: : \: \ `. `:::::`. ' .';:::::::::::; ;-' ; :. \ ';:' ,`""' '::::::::::; / \ / / ;:. ; ;' :, `+:::::::' / /. :--'-' ,;:^; :\ :; / `":^'_.-' .; `-+' `-._..+" / ; `. ` , .' .'.-' .-' (`--' / : : ( `-..-' / / .-' \ ) ) : \ `- `-.__. : : : .' ;.' ; ` `-.___.+" : \ : , : : ;, o: `-: ,: ; ; ::+. bug : ,+:; : >Quickies: Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny a choice between a nickle and a dime- and he always takes the nickle. One day after Johnny had taken the nickle, a neighbor took him aside and said, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth twice the nickle even though the nickle is bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime they'd quit, and I've made $20 so far." -<>- A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payes, the works. The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk: "Quick...get me a translator." Translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his name is, how old is he and where does he come from?" The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?" The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a British accent: "Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I've come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University." The translator turns to the judge and says: "Her zukt, her is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, her is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und her is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford." -<>- A large company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business! The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" From across the room came a voice, "Delivery guy from Pizza Hut." -<>- I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes." ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way Around, you're not going anywhere. Also when you get to where you can afford steaks and ice cream, it's not healthy to eat them ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~ The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" ~~~~~ For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us....pass this on. --- ...That's a 'duh' - LOL! Thanks KarenF! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) _____ (((\\\\\ )_ \\\| / \/ = , & \(__- \ (( _ |` /\)))| ` |_| \__| \ | , \ \ | ,\ \ \ ' / \_ ` \ `__/ ._ | ` \ ejm / `-| | |` / ,`. \_____| |/\ / / `. ` |__| | === / / ==== `./ /, /========= / / / / |, /__ /== / ///' ======== __-' | / , ' - -- === ==( , ============== \ \ ========= ===== \ \===== \ \ ===== \ \ ============== \__ \ == / ` == ============== _/ / ======= '__ ' >Story Time - What GOES AROUND COMES AROUND... One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she looked worried.. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.' Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.' He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .. After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door.. She was gone by the time the waitress came back.. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything.. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.' Under the napkin were four more $100. Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.... She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.' There is an old saying... 'What goes around comes around.' Today I send you this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes puts people in our lives for a reason. Don't delete it, don't return it... Simply, pass this on, i just did... --- ...Sweet SMILES for our times! Thanks Brenda! =================================================================== .''. .''. *''* :_\/_: . :_\/_: . .:.*_\/_* : /\ : .'.:.'. .''.: /\ : _\(/_ ':'* /\ * : '..'. -=:o:=- :_\/_:'.:::. /)\*''* .|.* '.\'/.'_\(/_'.':'.' : /\ : ::::: '*_\/_* | | -= o =- /)\ ' * '..' ':::' * /\ * |'| .'/.\'. '._____ * __*..* | | : |. |' .---"| _* .-' '-. | | .--'| || | _| | .-'| _.| | || '-__ | | | || | |' | |. | || | | | | || | ___| '-' ' "" '-' '-.' '` |____ jgs~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person... If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house... If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation... If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world." (Chinese proverb) "Increasingly elaborate circuses and public amusements, where it becomes socially-important to be present and to participate are characteristic of an empire in decline." (Citizen Kane) -<>- >ANTHROPOMORPHIC NOUNS -- Too True To Ignore I thought this might be boring, but stick with it. You'll love the ending. We are all familiar with: Herd of cows, A Flock of chickens, A School of fish And a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is: *A Pride of lions, * *A Murder of crows * *(as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), An Exaltation of doves And, presumably because they look so wise: A Parliament of owls. * Now consider a group of Baboons. (Baboons are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.) And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not... A Congress! (Note: I hadn't heard that before, so I looked it up. _It is correct _) *A CONGRESS OF BABOONS! * That pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington ! You just cant make this stuff up. --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [politics] >From PatriotUpdate: A Vast New Federal Power http://tinyurl.com/bryfzsq -<>- >From CowboyByte: Boehner: We’re Challenging Executive Privilege in Court http://tinyurl.com/cr8l6wk -<>- >From FreedomOutpost: Hillary Clinton: 'Shame On You, Barack Obama! http://tinyurl.com/7ufsj4n -<>- >From GodfatherPolitics: Liberals Mock 'God Given Rights' http://tinyurl.com/bq3khd4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: I guess you could honestly say that the man you are about to read about is a real nut. Thomas Hatfield, 30, of Ohio is a felon who has previous convictions for aggravated riot and attempted aggravated arson from 1997. Because of these convictions he must live with certain restrictions, one of these being he cannot be in possession of any firearms. That apparently is one he had a hard time sticking to, considering the weapons he was found with. However, the Ohio judge who heard his case said he likely will not jail Hatfield whose firearm possession violation cost the man a testicle. Hatfield pleaded guilty in Cincinnati to being a felon with a firearm after he accidentally shot off one of his own testicles with a .38-caliber semiautomatic handgun. Police said Hatfield was also in possession of a single- shot 12-gauge shotgun. "Because you injured yourself, that's kind of bad enough right there, so I'll consider probation," Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Robert Ruehlman told Hatfield after his guilty plea. "Obviously," the judge told Hatfield, "you don't know a whole lot about firearms. You need to read the directions." That's good advice to a man who is not even legally allowed to be in possession of one! *-- Wedding party falls into lake --* GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A Michigan bride whose entire wedding party plunged into a lake when a dock collapsed said the incident "makes for a good story." Eric and Maegan Walber said their wedding party gathered on the dock at the Bay Pointe Inn in Grand Rapids to take pictures after the ceremony Saturday and the dock began to wobble after about 30 seconds, Mlive.com reported Monday. "I saw the thing starting to tilt, and I'm like, 'Oh, yup, this is going to happen,'" Eric Walber told WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids. "We went right under." "Everyone was laughing," he said. "It was one of those things that it just happens and you roll with it." Maegan Walber said the plunge made her wedding day all the more memorable. "It makes for a good story," she said. "We'll be telling our grandkids." *-- Woman complains after haircut punishment --* PRICE, Utah - A Utah mother said she filed a formal complaint against a judge who had her slice off her 13-year-old's ponytail as punishment for cutting a 3-year-old's hair. Valerie Bruno said she has filed a formal complaint against 7th District Juvenile Judge Scott Johansen, who told her he would cut the 276-hour community service sentence imposed on her daughter, Kaytlen Lopan, by 150 hours if the mother cut off the teenager's ponytail in his courtroom, The Deseret News reported Monday. Lopan had been sentenced in Johansen's courtroom in May after she was convicted on an assault charge for cutting several inches of hair from the head of a 3-year-old girl they met at a McDonald's in Price. "I guess I should have went into the courtroom knowing my rights, because I felt very intimidated," Bruno said. "An eye for an eye, that's not how you teach kids right from wrong." Colin Winchester, executive director of the Utah Judicial Conduct Commission, said a complaint against a judge can take several months to be resolved. *-- Reporter mistakes sex toy for mushroom --* LIUCUNBU, China - A Chinese news station said a strange object reported to be a rare double-headed mushroom turned out to be a discarded sex toy. The Xi'an news station, based in the city of the same name, said reporter Yunfeng Ye was sent to the village of Liucunbu when the object was unearthed by workers drilling a new well shaft, ABC News reported Wednesday. Ye and a villager identified the object as a type of lingzhi, a rare shelf fungus that was once believed to be the secret to immortality. However, many viewers immediately recognized the object as a sex toy designed to mimic female genitalia. The Xi'an news station posted an apology online the following day. "Our program last night made everyone laugh," station officials wrote in apologizing for the "uncomfortable and misleading" report. "Our reporter is very young and sheltered." *-- Police: Woman faked confession for ride --* GOTHENBURG, Sweden - Swedish authorities said a drunken woman falsely claimed to have committed a murder in an attempt to get a free ride home. Police said the 50-year- old woman, whose name was not released, called police after a night of heavy drinking in Gothenburg and said she had committed a murder and wanted to turn herself in, Swedish news agency TT reported Thursday. The woman admitted to her ruse when police arrived, telling them she was just trying to get a free ride home. Officers took her to a local detox center instead. The woman, who was fined $244 for wasting police resources, is facing trial on a charge of making a false alarm to police. Prosecutors are seeking a $285 fine for the charge. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) o /\ /::\ /::::\ ,a_a /\::::/\ {/ ''\_ /\ \::/\ \ {\ ,_oo) /\ \ \/\ \ \ {/ (_^____/ \ \ \ \ \ \ .=. {/ \___)))*) \ \ \ \ \/ (.=.`\ {/ /=; ~/ \ \ \ \/ \ `\{/( \/\ / \ \ \/ \ `. `\ ) ) \ \/ jgs \ // /_/_ \/ '==''---)))) >Funnies... A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. Picking it up, he pulls out the cork. Sure enough, out pops a huge blue genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Perfect.... I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Suddenly, there is a flash of light and a detailed list with Swiss Bank account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." There is another flash of light and a bright red Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." A final blaze of light and he turns into a box of chocolates! -<>- >GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER... 1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. -<>- The paper machine's speed controlled drive system was down and the company was losing $10,000 an hour in profits. They placed an emergency call to the General Electric repair service and, since it was 3:00 am on Saturday night, the only repair man they had available was old Charlie. Old Charlie had been a repairman for 35 years and was only two years from retirement. He had seen it all and wasn't impressed by much. As old Charlie pulled up to the guard shack at the plant entrance, he was waved through and greeted by no one less than the plant manager. "Thank goodness you're here. How long will it take you to fix it?" Now Charlie had had nothing more than the sketchiest description of the problem but he replied without hesitation, "Oh, about fifteen minutes." "Great!" replied the plant manager, "My men will show you where the drive controls are and get you anything you need." After three hours of testing, reading prints, asking questions, the drive system was still not working. The plant manager became increasingly enraged and accosted old Charlie, "I thought you said you could fix this thing in FIFTEEN MINUTES!" "I can and I will, " he replied, "As soon as I figure out what's wrong with it!" -<>- Yesterday Nancy's son, Frankie, came home and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is - I got 18 out of 20 on my driver's test." Nancy said, "Great! Now what's the bad news?" Frankie said, "They were pedestrians. " -<>- In order to pay his nursing school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer, as a butcher's assistant and as a hospital orderly. Both were jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, "God save me! It's the butcher!" -<>- Goldilocks was walking along one sunny day when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with 3 bowls of steaming porridge. "Hello?" she called out, but no one was home. She sits down and tries the first bowl, but it was too hot. She tried the second bowl, but it was too cold. Then she tried the third bowl, and it was just right. "Wow," she said, once she finished the meal. "Now I'm feeling very sleepy." So she wandered around the house. She finds a staircase, climbs the stairs, and goes into the first room. There was a big bed in the room, so Goldilocks jumped in. "Yikes!" she exclaimed, "this one's too hard!" She wandered into the next room where she found another bed. She hops right in. But it was too soft. By this time, Goldilocks was really tired. She then goes into a third room and yells out in surprise at seeing three pink pigs cowering in the corner of the room. "Wait a minute," she said. "You guys are in the wrong fairy tale." "No, we're not," answered one of the pigs.... "Don't you know this is a two-story house?" --- ...LMAO! Good ones! Thanks Bunni! ============================================================= ..........*=*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*.......... .........=*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=.......... ..........*=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*.......... ..........=*=*=*=h a p p y 4 t h o f j u l y=*=*=*=.......... >-->From TheMouth: You might be a college student if... 21. If your social life consists of a date with the library 22. If your idea of "doing your hair" is putting on a baseball cap 23. If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room 24. If you carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that's all you have 25. If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class 26. If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn 27. If you celebrate when you find a quarter 28. If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over 29. If your walls are plastered with posters of half naked men or women (whichever your preference) 30. If you have built up a tolerance for beverages 31. If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself 32. If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis 33. If you get more sleep in class than in your room 34. If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles 35. If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo 36. If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes 37. If you get more e-mail than mail. -<>- >he Positive Side of Life Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. ============================================================ .:::. 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A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the atten- dant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here." -<>- "How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan and put his face in his hands. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?" -<>- A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has ever seen. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning. The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start. The race begins and the horse is immediately 10 lengths behind the pack! So the jockey gives the horse an sharp thwap on the shoulder. Nothing. He then gives him a series of strikes on the rump. Nothing. He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters. The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says "Give it a rest with that whip, will ya, buddy? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver milk"! -<>- With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet. -<>- Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co- worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware. As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report. "Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- [A reader, inspired by yesterday's metric conversions, sent in the following list. Thanks to Michelle S.] Metric Conversion Chart 10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone 10 cards = 1 decacards 10 rations = 1 decoration 10 millipedes = 1 centipede 8 nickles = 2 paradigms 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent 10 monologs = 5 dialogues 2 monograms = 1 diagram 2 snake eyes = 1 paradise -<>- After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back." -<>- As a frequent flier, I get annoyed when other passengers disregard the airline attendant's pleas to stay seated when the plane taxies to the gate. One attendant captured my heart by announcing: "The captain will be parking the aircraft at Gate 41 in approximately two minutes. I've seen the captain's car. So if I were you, I'd remain seated." -<>- An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?" "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'." =========================================================== ( (_) ### . (#c __\|/__ #\ wWWWw \ \-. (/. .\) /\ /`\/\ /\ |\/ \_) (_| `\.' ; ; `' ;`\ `\; ; . ;/\ `\; ; ;| \ ; .' ' ; / |_.' ; | /) ( ''._;/` | ' . ; |.-' .:) | | ( .' : | |,- .:: | | ,-' .;| jgs_/___,_.:_\_ [I_I_I_I_I_I_] | __________ | | || | | || | _| ||_|__|_|| |_ /=--------------=\ / \ | | >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Liberty Air Show! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Eagle Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Hero! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hero.html Jesus Clinic http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/barns.html Thank You Lord! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thanks.html Wall Mural Art 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart4.html Designer Toilet Paper http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/designertp.html Elephant Hotel! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elhotel.html Extreme Camping! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/camp.html Life's Little Oops 11 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Thinkers And Their Desks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html Why Me? Moments! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Lide is like a cup of coffee http://www.flickspire.com/m/iaaw/LifeIsLikeCoffee --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF :) Simon and Garfunkel- America - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCbOEZ8c8dM Def Leppard - Bringin' On The Heartbreak - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2Y78VgfNQ&feature=relmfu --- ...Good Ones! Thanks EdLaF! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : google compute engine pricing http://goo.gl/jbRb9 computer stupidities : revenge http://goo.gl/PjDXR ripped : grass linked to Texas cattle deaths http://tinyurl.com/7pv6ugb ripped : Petra and the Nabataeans http://goo.gl/F53O8 --- ...Interesting! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "You can observe a lot just by watching." - Yogi Berra "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." - Benjamin Disraeli "Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." - Aristotle "If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down... I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny." --Jack Handey "A Romanian man is in the hospital after getting drunk and swallowing 120 coins on a bet. Doctors monitoring his situation say so far, no change." --Jay Leno "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." --Dave Barry "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all." --Ogden Nash "Some folks are wise and some are otherwise." --Tobias George Smolett "Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level." --Quentin Crisp "I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately." --Mark Twain >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************