HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== *~* May Every One Have A HAPPY, BLESSED, AND FUN APRIL FOOL'S DAY! _\@)_ ___ /`\ .' -,'-.__,@ / | `).-' _/ _\V^V^V^V/_ | /\ .=// ^.^ \\=. /\ / .'/| ._. |\'. / /-`. _\___/_ |/\/\ _@->` _ `<-@._ \ \.' @-'`\( `'-,@ '-. \ , @ , _.- `\ \ .'| : |` /'. _.' `"` \ : / /`\_| @ @_ _.'`""""""`'-\_\.--;` `-.` /, `, .-' _.@--; .-'| '. ;-._;@ jgs .' @' _.'. `@ \ | _.-'` '-. \ '-._ `-._n_ ) | `'-._ ) `-,.' / u-'--;`@ .' | / ,\ /, )\.'/ / ( \_.. '._.@ `-.-' >-->In The 'Shangy News' - Been Busy this weekend :) We're coming up to APRIL 1st - My Birthday! I Always tell people - 'At least I am a genuine fool - not some fake fool you might meet out there!' -<.->- >Our Friend PatW reminded me about Quitnet.com :) ((\ ( _ ,-_ \ \ ) / \/ \ \ \ \ ( /)| \/\ \ \| | `~()_______)___)\ \ \ \ \ | |)\ ) `' | | | / /, | | | / | | / \ / \ / ejm ) / / / / / / She Wrote... "Believe it or not most of my email friends, all Christians, were found as a result of my having to quit smoking, per doctor's orders nearly 8 years ago. I found a website with peer support, called Quitnet. It worked! Thanks to people who were there to hold my hand while I went through withdrawals from not smoking, I have been smoke-free for nearly 8 years. I was amazed at the caliber of people who were addicted as I was, and I gained a wonderful internet family over the years. I still go to Quitnet to help others". --PatW email me here for comments for PatW about this: bcrsystems@earthlink.net --- ...Yes, PatW, Thank you! Paul's doctor gave him orders to quit about the same time as you mention you quit. I decided it would be easier for him if I wasn't smoking in his face while he was trying to quit, so I actually quit smoking before he did. I've been smoke free since February 2000. Never have regretted it for an instant! -<,,>- >How To Quit Smoking ) ( _ ___________ ) [_[___________# jgs I've been putting off adding my own Quit Smoking Tips on-line and PatW more or less gave me the final push I needed. Visit it here: HOW TO QUIT SMOKING http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html --- ...Thanks PatW! -<..>- >I uploaded some new Funny Clips to our group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ -<>- >DailyBread sent us a beautiful photo. See it here: http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/photos/browse/1f2a?b=27&m=t&o=0 -<,,>- >March was a busy Month! We had these New Pages... World's Fastest Cars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fastcars.html ) ) (( ( VAROOOOOOM! ( )) ) \ ) ) // ( \ _ ( __ ( ~->> ,-----' |__,_~~___<'__`)-~__--__-~->> < | // : | -__ ~__ o)____)),__ - '> >- > | // : |- \_ \ -\_\ -\ \ \ ~\_ \ ->> - , >> | // : |_~_\ -\__\ \~'\ \ \, \__ . -<- >> `-----._| ` -__`-- - ~~ -- ` --~> > _/___\_ //)_`// | ||] ________ _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L_/ || _________( )____ [____________________]' `\_,/'/ O ( _ )_ ||| / ||| ,___,'./ _ (_ \ \/ / |_| / \ /\ || _) ||| \ |||,'______| (_) (_ \/\/ | | \_/ /--\ .. ) ||| / /|| I==|| (______ ________) ||| \ __/_|| __||__ (_________) -----||-/------`-._/||-o--o---o--- ~~~~~' (Which is one of our Hottest Pages receiving over 17,000 Hits!) Good Easter http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easter.html Holy Alphabet! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/holyalpha.html Easter Joy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/easterjoy.html Awesome School! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gschool.html ~ If You Haven't Visited These Pages, PLEASE DO! ~ AND Pass Them On - I might of had time to do another page this month except I got busy doing this ... -<>- >Help Keep Shangrala ALIVE! I spent several hours Saturday updating many of my web pages that had our affiliate links and banners on them. I decided to remove them. My decision came after I discovered that several of our affiliates had actually terminated us way back in 2006 and I was continuing to promote them. That and the fact that our site 'Shangrala' has gotten less then $6 in the last 2 years from the over 200 on-line store affiliates I have been promoting, sent me over the edge! So much time wasted by doing this for little or no good! Ridiculous actually. Each one requires you sign up to their program, get their codes for their links and banners and advertise for them on your website using these. That might not be so bad, but they are forever changing their codes and banners and links and terminating you due to it only being a month or two month program. It really takes allot of time and work! I do not recommend any one with a web site waste their time on this type of activity. It sounds good. You are supposed to earn a small commission off any sale generated by someone clicking through from your site and buying something off of their site, but it never paid much of anything to help us! That is why I went to using PayPal for people to donate directly to the site. This has helped the site some although we've only gotten a couple of donations to support it from there. I didn't mind when I was running the site for free using Geocities generosity but now that we are getting more traffic and paying for the site to be able to handle the extra visitors, it has been more important to generate revenue for it. Geocities allowed approximately 51 visitors a day before it would shut the site down. I had Angelfire as a mirror backup for when this happened until I kept finding the site down. That was why I decided to go to the paid dot com site that we now have. We average between 900 to 1500 hits a day with some days getting as high as 5,500 hits. Which brings us to the next opportunity. I'm going to have to purchase more bandwidth as traffic continues to grow for our 'Shangrala' site. I've almost reached our limit of 100,000 MB data usage for the month. That means I desperately could use any and all donations. If God is speaking to your heart and you feel inclined to give, please go to our site and give a donation. ANY Amount will be a help! I will be happy to post our Donation Angel names on the site. If you feel my efforts are worthy then . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : ; ____ """"': .. ; _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ ' | ` Please Help Keep Shangrala ALIVE! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html [You may have to REFRESH/RELOAD Your Browser to see the changes] , ----. - - ` ,__.,' \ .' *` / | | / **\ . / ****. | mm | ****| \ | ****| ` ._______ \ ****/ \ /`---' \___( /~~~~\ / \ / | \ | | \ , ~~ . |, ~~ . | |\ ( |||| ) ( |||| )(,,,)` ( |||||| )-( |||||| ) | ^ ( |||||| ) ( |||||| ) |'/ ( |||||| )-( |||||| )___,'- ( |||| ) ( |||| ) ` ~~ ' ` ~~ ' *~* THANK YOU! - MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS ALWAYS *~* -<>- >For Wonderful Teachings on Giving, Please Visit Here: Tithing And The Law http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/tithingandthelaw.html Giving = Receiving http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/givingreceiving.html AND From TruthOrTradition: "Much has been written on the subject of financial giving, because it is an important topic. What we give reveals the true posture of our hearts, despite what we say or even think. The Word of God has a lot to say about giving, but some of it has been hidden in the history of the Church... http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=514 AND For Subjects all about MONEY according to the Word of God: http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&new_topic=23 ==================================================================== >-->From TheFunnyBone: Learning About The World __T__I___...__7~ ,_ `"|-=||==|==|==| [_`'---...,____|"_||__|__|__|_ | `'---...__PHILOMENA D_______] jgs~^~-~^-^~^'----~^~---~---------~^---'`~^-^~~^-^~^ A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!" ====================================================================== +------------------- Bizarre Holidays --------------------+ APRIL April 1 is One Cent Day April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day April 3 is Tweed Day & Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day April 5 is Go For Broke Day April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day April 7 is No Housework Day For the rest of the list, go to: Bizarre News.com p.s. The rest of the Bizarre Holidays for the month of April will be put up on Tuesday April 1st. --- _ (_) _ _ .=. (_) (_) _ //(`)_ //`\/ |\ 0`\\ ||-.\_|_/.-|| )/ |_____| \( _ 0 #/\ /\# 0 (_) _| o o |_ _ ((|, ^ ,|)) (_) `||\_/||` || _ || _ | \_/ | (_) 0.__.\ /.__.0 `._ `"` _.' jgs / ; \ \ 0'-' )/`'-0 0` ...Rats! I always thought I was throwing in my two cents worth - but now I see My Day is only a One Cent deal! Ratsinfratsin! TeeHee! I guess I should be saying I'm adding my One Cent from now on! ===================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) | [ | v': : | |_,;c | ] |/; |, | | [ ( __,/ | ,-'/ ;\ ,< _',\.-._,; | ] | n | -' / _;'; '=_'-' ,) ,\ | ,; | ] / \,'__/--,_,-- 'mm'J -"_ ] '-,+_ | / / "''-.,;"---''--'"" \ ] __ "-' ;' [ / : : _c / / ",_,' | [ | v| , '/ c c \ | \ ] | \ /| : __,-,v;|] . \| [ /"--'/ | (7_ c@ ) )/| \ ] ,-"'<': '--, ( /^ | | ] / : '| \ | ) | | | / | | ;,-;, \ ,)( ]| | \^ | | : |\ ,' \ / \ [ | | ? / \_ | /|: | , \ | | | ('. "--' |:, ; :\ ,\ [| | ;\~) _ \_) ',_| , | ), \_ : | |/ [ /""-,_ '-'( /.' | \ | '-_ | [ | | "---,__"'=';=,_ | \ /|\ '"-,__ | ] | : | ""'^.\ | | | \ | [ ]| | : | ] \ \ / _AsH ~A Prayer Without Shame~ Lord Jesus, please make me One of your `Forest,` Filling me with strong and Healthy Trees, To give home to Your birds, Let me be Long Green Grass, To feed Your many Animals. Let me be a Stream of Fresh Water, So All of Your Creatures can Drink. Let me be a cooling shade to refresh, The Earth in heat of day. I hear Your Voice in the winds, And your breath gives Life to all the Earth, Because I'm small, and weak I need Your Strength and Wisdom. Let me walk in Your Beauty, Ever Glorifying Your name, As I look upon your beautiful Sunset. Make my Hands respect the things You have made, And my Ears Sharp to hear Your Voice. Let me Learn the lessons, You have hidden in every Leaf and Rock. Make me to always come to You, With Clean Hands and Straight Eyes, So when Life Fades, as the fading Sunset, My Spirit may come to You WITHOUT SHAME! Your~Loving~Servant~~~John-Paul --- ...Pretty! Thank You John-Paul! =================================================== >-->From Our Friend LHTJIO :) ,-'". ,@@o. ) (_ ) s S. ' )= "? / \ (` `-; \ /,-. ) ,-'"-.`-'| ( /\/{_\ ! ,/\/\/ {_\ ; /\/\/\ {V ,/\/\// ) (_ ,\/\/\//,- `-. /\/\/\/-' \_ `-. __,--\/\/\/( '. `-. `. ///`-\/\/ \ `. `-.__ `. ,\/ `. `. `----''\ / `. `-. \ / `-. `-. \ / `-. `----'--'" \ / `-.____.__.-'-' / \ / \ / \ `--___-_ __-__--' `-___-_ ___-' `---___-_____--' | | | | | / |=|=(_ ( ( |) |_|_,| gpyy | | ) `-`-' >SLOW DANCE By David L. Weatherford Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round, or listened to rain slapping the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight, or gazed at the sun fading into the night? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Do you run through each day on the fly, when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, with the next hundred chores running through your head? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow, and in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a friendship die, 'cause you never had time to call and say hi? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, it's like an unopened gift thrown away. Life isn't a race, so take it slower, hear the music before your song is over. --- ...Thank you for bring this to our attention LHTJIO - This is a beautiful Poem by a great poet - Here is his site: http://www.davidlweatherford.com/intro1.html .,,-~&, ,~"~. { /___/\`. > :::: { `}'~.~/\ \ ` ` <, ?::; {`}'\._/ ) } ) ) l_ f ,__/ l_,'-/ .'.' ,__}--{_. { `.__.' ( / } \ \ ) ) / ! \-\`-'`-' / , 1 J; ` ` \ \___l,-_,___.' /1 ! Y ) ) k____-~'-l_____.' | l / .'.' /===#==\ l f .' `. I===I=I ,' ,' `.`. f } ,' ,' / \ `.`. | } .'^.^.^.'`.'`.^.'`.'`.^. l Y; `. \ } | !`, \ | | l / } ,1 | l/ / !l ,l / ,' ! \ \ / /! ! \ \ ' ' / ,f l l___j. \ ( ( (_ \l_ `_ ,.-'`--( `.,'`. `.`. Y\__Y`--' `-'~x__J j' > ,/ ,^' f__J mab'95 I LOVE DANCING - HERE ARE PAGES TO GET YOU MOVING! Greetings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html Here's Your Frog http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html Let's Dance! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dance.html Shangy's Dance Page! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sdp.html Top Reasons To Make You SMILE http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smile.html WORMS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worms.html ============================================================= >-->English 101 Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays in order to have them published and sent out for the amusement of other teachers across the country. Recent winners: 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled around inside his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the kind of wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who goes blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disin- tegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. 10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 11. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling west at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. traveling east at a speed of 35 mph. 13. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming- birds who had also never met. 15. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. 16. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. 17. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 19. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 20. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. ================================================================= >-->From TheJokester: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >New Windows Messages 1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 6. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 7. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 8. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN" 9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 10. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 13. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 14. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) 15. User Error: Replace user. 16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" 17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. -<>- >Computer Proverbs * Home is where you hang your @. * The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. * A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. * You can't teach a new mouse old clicks. * C: is the root of all directories. * Don't put all your hypes in one home page. * Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish. * The modem is the message. * Too many clicks spoil the browse. * The geek shall inherit the earth. * A chat has nine lives. * Don't byte off more than you can view. * Fax is stranger than fiction. * What boots up must come down. * Windows will never cease. * Virtual reality is its own reward. * Modulation in all things. * A user and his leisure time are soon parted. * Know what to expect before you connect. * Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. * Speed thrills. * Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. --- ...For More FUN Visit This Pages: TECH HORROR STORIES http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tech.html =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend JRWGS :) GIVE IT A TRY, LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS! Dr Seuss (don't delete) The last time I did this it worked for me too. I wished for a baby, and you all know what happened ( approx. 2 months later). I had to give this a shot.. Don't laugh at this! Just do it! My best friend just did this morning, wished for her promotion and just got a call and she got it. I'm SO sorry about this, but I had to keep it going. The last time I sent this exact e-mail out, I got a new job and now I'm superstitious. Start thinking something you really really want, cause this is astounding.. the person that sent this to me said their wish came true ! 10 mins after they read the mail so I thought what the heck. ****** ****** ****** ****** ********** (,)(,) *.....* You have just been visited by Dr. Suess's Cat in the Hat.. He will grant you one wish. Make your wish when the count down is over. _.---,_ .' `'. 10 \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| 9 \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ 8 .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / 7 '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / 6 || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ 5 .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| 4 (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ 3 \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ 2 \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( 1 '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ 0 / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ MAKE A WISH !!!!!! Send this to 10 people within the hour you read this. If you do, your wish will come true. If you don't, it will become the opposite. --- ...Aww, for the fun of it - Thanks JRWGS! ============================================================== >-->In The WorldlyNews: >From LibertyCouncil: Librarian Fired for reporting Child PORN Brenda Biesterfeld needs your help. Brenda did something I hope all of us would have the courage to do... She blew the whistle on a man at her local library who was viewing child porn on the public library computers. The police caught him in the act and arrested him. The authorities then searched his home and found more child pornography. Two days after she reported the man, Brenda was fired! In fact, within hours of when she reported the man to the police, she was reprimanded by her boss for invading his "privacy." And then, without warning, she was fired. I am asking you to sign a Petition calling for Brenda’s immediate reinstatement -- along with a formal apology from Lindsay, California library officials. Go here: http://www.libertyaction.org/r.asp?u=5623&RID=11737726 Liberty Counsel has taken up Brenda's case and we have already sent a Demand Letter to Lindsay library officials. But now I need your help to show those officials and the national media that we will not tolerate this outrageous firing -- and we will not sit by quietly when local officials take the side of child pornographers! Please sign the petition today. SEND TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY Thank you for your immediate action. Mathew Staver, Founder and Chairman Liberty Counsel -<>- >From LifeScripts: 'Souper' Blunders: 10 Worst Soup and Salad Bar Choices Waist watchers beware! Do you know what lurks in your salad bar? Very few people are aware of the hidden calories in soup- and salad-bar choices. Although virtuous diners may pride themselves on heaping plates of veggies and ladles full of the healthiest soups, their choices often come with artery-clogging cheeses, creams and saturated fat. In fact, many diners would swallow less fat and calories if they ordered off the menu instead… click here to read more http://www.lifescript.com/HA/41801_4238409_9315_0.htm -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: .-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. '.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._ V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'. '=.____.=_.--' :_.__.__:_ '. : : (((____.-' '-. / : : snd (((-'\ .' / _____..' .' '-._____.-' Small dog escapes gator's clutches The Lutz, Fla., owners of a small dog said their pet was able to escape the teeth of an alligator with no broken bones or internal bleeding. Mike and Cathy Piendel said Gizmo, their 7-pound Maltese-toy poodle mix, suffered puncture wounds on his ear and back leg from his encounter with the gator, but a veterinarian told them the pooch is expected to make a full recovery, TBO.com reported Tuesday. The Piendels said they heard Gizmo yelping in a panicked fashion Sunday and they spotted him with his ear in the clutches of the alligator, which was attempting to pull the small dog under the water. The dog briefly escaped, but the reptile managed to take hold of one of his thighs before Cathy Piendel scared the predator off with a scream. "Not one broken bone; no internal bleeding," Cathy Piendel said. "His white blood cell count is 10 times the normal level, but that's because of the infection" from the bite. Gopher-hunt goes bad to fiery ending A Calgary, Alberta, man fed up with a gopher infestation accidentally started a weekend wildfire that caused more than $200,000 in damages, firefighters said. Firefighters from four municipalities scrambled to prevent the fire from burning any houses Saturday, but Rocky View Assistant Deputy Fire Chief Jim Pendergast said some barns, sheds and vehicles were damaged or destroyed, the Calgary Herald reported Monday. The province is undergoing an infestation of gophers, and Pendergast said a group of people had used a new system called the Rodenator on their property. The system blasts oxygen and propane down the hole and then creates explosions that collapse tunnels and kill the rodents by concussion, the report said. "I have never been to a fire started by this before," Pendergast said Sunday. "We're not saying there's something wrong with the device. But this is not an appropriate time to use it." The fire consumed about a half mile of extremely dry prairie grass, and Pendergast said the people targeting gophers could face liability for losses and the $40,000 firefighting bill, the newspaper. Hotel offers high-calorie high-fat teas An upscale Scottish hotel is offering traditional Glasgow teas -- a meal that provides more than enough saturated fats for the day and 1,600 calories. The Hilton Grosvenor Hotel in Glasgow charges almost 9 pounds for the meal -- about $18. Customers get a sugar and fat overload, including trifle, pancakes, scones and local specialties like Tunnock's Teacakes and Caramel Wafers, The Scotsman reports. Nutritionists have come out in force against the menu. Wendy Barrie, who serves as a food adviser to First Minister Alex Salmond, was appalled. "Scotland has already gained a dreadful reputation because of the notoriety of the deep-fried Mars bar and this just adds to it," she said. "I can only hope that this menu is meant to be funny, but our health as a nation is no laughing matter." Stuart Nelson, the hotel's general manager, said the critics need to "lighten up a bit." He points out that no one is going to eat a Glasgow tea every day. "This is nothing more than good old-fashioned comfort food," Nelson said. "It is the exactly the kind of food that generations of Glaswegians enjoyed when they were round at their aunty or granny's house." -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Bank robbed by crossing-dressed man ----------- CLEVELAND - Investigators in Cleveland are searching for a man who robbed a US Bank branch while dressed as a woman. The Federal Bureau of Investigation said a teller described the suspect as a black man wearing a shoulder- length wig and false fingernails, WEWS-TV, Cleveland, reported Thursday. Authorities said the man handed the teller a note that demanded money. It was not revealed how much money was taken from the bank, the report said. -- Tied election decided by names in hat ---------- WINTON, Australia - A tied mayoral election in Winton, Australia, has been decided by unusual means -- picking a name out of a hat. Ed Warren, who has served as acting mayor of the Queensland shire since the retirement of former Mayor Bruce Collins eight months ago, was declared the winner after his name was pulled from the hat, The Courier-Mail reported. Warren and rival Graham "Butch" Lenton each received 423 votes. Local election law states that a tied mayoral election must be decided by drawing names out of a hat, or flipping a coin. "It is a disappoint- ing way to lose the mayoralty," said Lenton. "What gets me is that the election is run fair and square according to the rules and then you get knocked off by lady luck." State opposition leaders have called for an end to the name- drawing practice to decide the outcome of tied elections, suggesting the outcome should be decided by incoming councilors. "The incoming councilors have also just faced election and the people have given them their confidence to make informed decisions," opposition spokesman Howard Hobbs said. .--""--.___.._ ( <__> ) `-. |`--..--'| <| | :| / - County refuses toilet paper check - | :|--""-./ `.__ __;' o!O "" BINGHAMTON, N.Y. - A Binghamton, N.Y., man said he protested a high water bill by attempting to pay it with a homemade check printed on toilet paper. Ron Borgna said the Broome County Office of Real Property Tax Services refused to accept his $2,059.66 check -- which would cover the $422.90 bill, late fees and subsequent water and sewer bills -- despite an accompany- ing bank statement proving that his account contained adequate funds, The Press & Sun Bulletin of Vestal, N.Y., reported. Borgna said the September 2006 water bill was four times the amount of his normal bill. His water meter and plumbing were tested in an attempt to discover the cause of the extra charges, but the only problem found was his meter over-registering by 1 percent, within the bounds of city regulations. The homeowner refused to pay the bill, and the fee was transferred to the county after one year. Borgna said he decided to pay the fine, but the county's refusal to accept his toilet paper check left him considering other creative payment options. "I don't know where I'm going to get $2,000 in nickels and dimes," he said. =========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Even though my Ecuadoran son-in-law is fluent in English, he translates some figures of speech too literally. When I com- mented that he and my daughter are about the same age, but she looks much younger, he agreed. "Yes," he said. "Some people think I stole the crib." -<>- .-""""--. / ) / --"` / _`:---. | .-' `\ \ / .----'./ \ : ,-' ~(.).)\ \_| \ ._) | / | \.__, / Makes My Life EASY! _.--' )`///-,-' / / _| (_\\ | (____/____) \ ___/ | _ `---( ` ) `-, .' (__.'._/'._/ |`| | __/ / / // | `--. || /_____) jgs `=---` Tired of super-hectic Christmas mornings, I was pleased to find a recipe called "Christmas Morning Wifesaver Breakfast." I prepared the breakfast the night before so that it could be put in the oven while we opened our gifts with our four small children. It was delicious. Next year I followed the "tradition" and prepared the same breakfast. After everyone was seated I put the casserole on the table. My five-year-old exclaimed disgustedly, "This again!" -<>- A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray. "And what will your third wish be?" The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?" "You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left." "Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads." "Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and dis- appeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!" -<>- On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rear- view mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer my license and made small talk while my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration. "I'm usually very careful about my speed," I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork. The officer studied it and then gave it back. "Sir," he said gruffly, "this is not your registration." It was a warning ticket I had received for speeding in South Carolina. -<>- Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially when the St. Louis Cardinals are on TV. One day we were watching a game, when my mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly in here!" Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked back, "Give it some cough syrup." =========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: .--. .--. ( (`\\."--``--".//`) ) '-. __ __ .-' / /__\ /__\ \ Five More Minutes | \ 0/ \ 0/ | \ `/ \` / `-. /-"""-\ .-` ._-. / '.___.' \ //';\\ \ I / // ;// `;--'`'--;` \\_;// '.___.' //-` ___| |___ ."`-. .-` .---. `-. / ) / .' '. \ / ) / /|| ||\ \ / /`""` / / || || \ \ / / / / || || \ / / At the park recently, near the playground, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench. "That's my son over there," she nervously commented, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater gliding down the slide, thinking that would explain her presence on the bench "He's a fine looking boy," the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. "What do you say we go?" The boy pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes." The man nodded and the boy continued to swing to his heart's content. Some minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. "Time to go now?" Again the boy pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just a few more minutes." The man smiled and then said, "O.K." "My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman remarked. The man smiled again and then said, "My older son was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike quite near here. I never spent much time with him and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with his brother. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The real truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play." Life is all about making priorities ! What are yours? -<>- >Rules when asking a man to do something: 1. Make sure the man is conscious. 2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with the sports section. 3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three hours, max. 4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. Offer to cook him something that doesn't have a peel-back cover. 5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again for another 35 minutes. 6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or "do as I say and no one will get hurt." -<>- &oo{ _____ _____ _____ _____ ____ __ __ /~~~~~~\ | ___| | | _ | _ | __ |\ \ / / /__________\ |___ | | | | |_| | |_| | __| \ / |______| ---|_____|_|___|_____|_____|_|-----|_|-------|______|---- -------------------------------------------------------------- Every Dog Has His Day. Why? Because... Only a dog with a broken tail has a weak end! 2. I Am A Panda, Look It Up. A Panda walked into a restaurant, and ordered a sandwich and a drink. After finishing it he got up took out his pistol and shot the lights, the bottles, the crockery, and prepared to leave. The Manger said “Hey, where are you going?” The Panda glanced back and said over his shoulder “I am a Panda, look it up” and left out of the door. The bartender took out the dictionary, and saw Panda--A tree dwelling animal of Asian origin eats shoots and leaves. 3. I Can Count Too. A woman taught her parrot to give instructions to the salesmen that called at her house. One day the coal-man came to make the delivery. “Ten sacks please,” said the parrot. “You are a clever bird to be able to talk,” said the coal man as he finished his delivery. “Yes,” replied the parrot. “And I can count too; bring the other sack.” 4. The Hamster is Also a Ventriloquist. A guy walks into a bar and orders beer. “Listen,” he tells the bartender. “If I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen in your life, will the beer be on the house?” “We’ll see,” says the bartender. The guy pulls out a hamster, and a tiny piano, and the hamster starts playing the piano. “Impressive” says the bartender, “but I will need to see more.” “Hold on,” says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings “Old Man River.” A patron jumps up from his table and shouts, “That’s absolutely incredible! I’ll give you $100 right now for that frog.” He then takes the bullfrog and leaves. The bartender says, “It’s none of my business, but you just gave away a fortune!” “Not really,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.” -<>- >Little Old Lady! All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady! Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly. 'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight.' she replied. 'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: “I outlived the b*!&^%.” ===================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: Card Toss Game http://www.cardtoss.com/ -<>- >From TheMouth: CENTIPEDE http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/centipede.htm CRAZY THOUGHTS http://www.crazythoughts.com/ -<>- >From LynnLynn Links: Elaine's April's Fools Day http://homepages.tesco.net/~derek.berger/holidays/aprilfool.html The Jester's Mask - Real and Legendary Jesters http://www.thenoodlebowl.com/jesters/pages/legreal.html Court Jesters http://www.jester.net/CourtJs.htm History of April Fool's Day http://www.april-fools.us/history-april-fools.htm April Fools Day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fool%27s_Day Games, Greetings & Pranks! http://www.fundmental.com/pranks.php Movies: Window Washer http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032912.htm Small Guy http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032913.htm Smile http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032914.htm Sneaky Water http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032915.htm To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com =========================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is threatening to sue one of her biggest fans because he's trying to put out a Harry Potter encyclopedia. The man says he's not happy about being sued by Rowling — but at least it's technically some form of contact with a girl." -Conan O'Brien "In LA a 500-pound man was arrested for stealing food from a restaurant. Police say it took five minutes to catch the suspect and two hours to pat him down." -Conan O'Brien "The U.N has evidence of global warming. And right now they are working hard, around the clock to do nothing about it." --Dave Letterman "This week, a woman whose car was swept away in a flash flood said she survived because of something she saw on a 'Fear Factor' episode. Those reality shows really are lifesavers. It's only by watching 'Extreme Makeover' that I realized I looked stupid with bangs." -Dennis Miller "According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of women tell their friends secrets to their husbands. So women, if you tell your girlfriend something, 83 percent chance she will tell her husband. But the good news? One hundred percent of the men aren't listening anyway." -Jay Leno "Steven Segal is blaming the FBI for ruining his movie career. He said he's not getting the movie roles that he wants because of a false FBI investigation. The FBI issued a response and said, 'It is our job to stop people from making bombs.'" -Craig Ferguson You don't set a fox to watching the chickens just because he has a lot of experience in the hen house. -- Harry S Truman If God grants me longer life, I will see to it that no peasant in my kingdom will lack the means to have a chicken in the pot every Sunday. -- Henri IV, 1553 - 1610 (King of France 15889 - 1610) --- ...Yeah - What HE said! ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************