Happy April Fool's Day Smiles... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ ______________________ Q | | ___|\_.-, | H A P P Y S\ Q~\___ \| | A P R I L |( )o 5) Q | F O O L ' S |\\ \_ () | D A Y ! | \'. _'/'. | .-. '-( x< \ | ,o /\, '. ) /'\\ |______ \'.__.----/ .'\ '.-'/ \\ snd '---'q__/.'__ ; / \\_ '---' '--' `"' ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' The New Testament Bible translation/commentary project, the REV (Revised English Version) from Spirit&Truth has been a long time waited for blessing. Paul says he has a hard time reading the old english version, KJV, of the bible and I know there are many people like him. The problem is, if you have a hard time reading the KJV then chances are you will have a hard time understanding the KJV and if you have a hard time understanding the KJV then you will likely be less inclined to study it and get the Word of God into your heart and mind. Another reason for a revised English Version from such a good source as Christian Educational Services' Spirit & Truth is that they are long time studiers, researchers, and teachers of the Word Of God. They know what they are doing. This is most important! For instance, did you know that the original text of the bible did not include punctuation or chapters and verses? The bible translators had to add these as best they could according to their own knowledge and understanding of the bible so that we could better read and understand the bible. You cannot therefore trust just any one to come out with a bible translation. They must be highly skilled with years of experience of rightly dividing the Word the God. That is what we have with this translation! That was why it was long awaited for and highly anticipated! We are truly blessed to have it available to us - with commentary no less! How totally awesome! Because of this, I spent considerable time updating all our on-line bible teachings to include a link to their On-line REV Bible. The teachings also have the KJV link for the Old Testament and for ones like me who appreciate this version and feel a little lost without it. I am used to the Old English text. I do like comparing the two though for a better and more full understanding. You can visit the On-Line New Testament REV Bible and even copy it complete to your computer Here: http://tinyurl.com/d84jc6 Be sure to read the Introduction. it will bless you :) Please be sure to give abundantly in donations to them and pass this on to show appreciation for them freely sharing this great work! -<>- >Hot Of The 'Shangy' Press... This one comes to us from a forward from our friend Becky. Check it out here... \`-'.'. /`. |\ \ `-' \ / '-./\ .'\ `-. '. `-.)\.' / `._ ''-. `:. _.' `-._...__.::::.__.--' _.-..'''''. _.---.__`._. `-. ___..-' `o> `-. .-``` <) ) .' `._.-.`-._.' / / `-' | ' / | . ' .' \ \ \ .'| ' / -..__.| / | | /| | \ '\ / \ | \ | | | | | \ / . | | / \ | | | \ \ | | | | | \ | `. | | | | | \ / `' | /_ `. /' \ `---/_ `. `.\.' `.\.' LGB `.\.' Albino White Moose http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/albinomoose.html --- ...Sweet! Thanks Becky ========================================================== +----------------- Bizarre Book Titles -------------------+ How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer Scouts in Bondage by Michael Bell Be Bold with Bananas by Crescent Books Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself by Dale L. Power The Flat-Footed Flies of Europe by Peter J. Chandler 101 Uses for an Old Farm Tractor by Michael Dregni Across Europe by Kangaroo by Joseph R. Barry 101 Super Uses for Tampon Applicators by Lori Katz and Barbara Meyer [HowStuffWorks, Inc.] ======================================================== >-->From theFunnyBone: ___________________________ / _________________________ \ |/----, \| British Journalistic Blunders ||NEWS| || ||----' .-""-. || || / \ \ || "Julian Dicks (West Ham United) || | /`-._| || is everywhere. It's like they've || |/ . . | || got eleven Dicks on the field." || ( _\ ) || (Metro Radio Sports Commentary) || |\ = | || || /\ \_._/ || Listener: "My most embarrassing || /\_\___//\ || moment was when my artificial leg || /` \ \| `\ || fell off at the altar on my |\____/_____|__;_____|__BBC/| wedding day." Simon Fanshawe: \___________________________/ "How awful! Do you still have an |:::::::::::::::::::| artificial leg?" (Talk Radio) |:::::::::::::::::::| |::():():::::():()::| Interviewer: "So did you see which |:::::::::::::::::::| train crashed into which train __|jgs::::::::::::::::|__ first?" 15-year-old: "No, they / \ both ran into each other at the '===========================' same time." (BBC Radio 4) Presenter (to paleontologist):"So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?" Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half- mammoth. Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?" Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." (GLR) Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to _.-~"~-. get pregnant?" ;`a) ) `\ Girl: "No. It was a cock-up." \-./_ / |~=-=--. `-._)_ | / ". Grand National winning jockey _ //` `| `"~` \ Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an \'-'/ .--' / / |\ anti-climax after that!" `~` / ____/\ | / `" Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave __/__/ | |`-...-\ | the horse a wonderful ride, / \ | | |`\ | everyone saw that." (BBC) jgs |_____| /__| /__/__| Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?" Expert: "Er, yes." (Channel 4 News) "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other." (John Sleightholme - BBC1) "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." (Jimmy Hill - BBC) "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3) ================================================================ >-->Today is on of our friend's Birthday... H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y F I G!! \\\ , \ `| ) ( .-""-. | | /_ { '. | | (/ `\ } ) | | ^/ ^`} { \ \ \= ( { ) \ \ '-, { {{ \ \_.' ) } ) \.-' ( ( /'-.'_. ) ( } \_( { _/\ ) '--' `-;\ \ _.-' / / / <\/>_.' .' / / <\/>/. ' /<\// / _ |\`- _ . -/| - _- ` _.-'`_/- | \ - - - - \\\ }`<\/> <\/>`{ { -<\/>_<\/>_<\/>- } } { <\/>. <\/> {`<\/> <\/>`} } -<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>- { { } } } { H A P P Y { <\/> B I R T H D A Y <\/> FIG! `<\/> <\/>' jgs -<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>_<\/>- Be sure to send him warm thoughts and prayers for his birthday. oldson51 @ yahoo.com Just put the email all together no spaces. April is a big month for birthdays in my family. Mine is the 1st, Paul's brother is the 2nd, Paul's mom and my oldest brother's is the 3rd, my sister's is the 5th, my aunt is the 19th and my youngest older brother's is the 20th. Quite a busy birthday month! ,-. ,-. __ ( )) \ )\ ,"::". ) ( ,-. \ \|::::::( )/%%/ \ \::::::/) (/%%/ `__\:::,-"-. )%/ ,####`'/88888\-' |#### #|\88888/ \######/)`.8,' Happy Birthday to ALL Our Aries! `####'(.-'7\ `7`-().,'/) /)/`y( ( ( ( )\ ` ' ` ` hjw Of course, I have the April Fool's Day day. Go figure. :) (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' Here are some APRIL FOOL'S DAY `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' of interest... .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >From CNN: How will the April Fools' computer worm affect you? (CNN) -- Remember the dire predictions surrounding the "millennium bug?" The doom-and-gloom scenarios bandied about by security analysts on how computers could act when their clocks turned to January 1, 2000? Well, researchers are hoping that a potential April Fools' time bomb -- the Conficker.c that is supposed to hit computers on April 1 -- turns out to be equally unfounded. But realizing that hope alone is not a prudent option, here is a primer on the worm so you can adequately prepare yourself -- and your computer. What is Conficker.c and what do analysts fear it may do? Conficker.c is a worm, a malicious program thought to have already infected between 5 million and 10 million computers. Those infections haven't spawned many symptoms, but on April 1 a master computer is scheduled to gain control of these zombie machines, said Don DeBolt, director of threat research for CA, a New York-based IT and software company. What happens on April Fools' Day is anyone's guess. Visit Here to read more: http://tinyurl.com/cj82nu -<>- >The Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time ,,,, / ' /.. / ( c D \- '\_ `-'\)\ |_ \ You're shoe is untied... |U \\ (__,// |. \/ LL__I ||| ||| ,,-``'\ jv As judged by notoriety, creativity, and number of people duped #1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest 1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best." #2: Sidd Finch 1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton. #3: Instant Color TV 1962: In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970. Visit here for the rest: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/ ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Gracienj :) + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- Below is a link to one of the best pieces of sound engineering work I think I have ever seen. It is a composite audio/video of song whereby additional tracks were laid in by different singers and musicians from different places around the world. The finished product is tremendous! The song itself is that classic standard "Stand By Me" originally released in 1955 by The Staple Singers and released again in 1961 by the Drifters. This composite version is a real toe tapper. So turn up the speaker volume http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741 --- ...Awesome! Thank You Gracienj! I got to really toe tapping to this one when the drums came in! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Viv :) >One pound deer! This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a wildlife hospital after a car killed his mother. Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult's hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother. \ ) ) ( \ / ~V~ \ / ~V~ ~V~ ) ~V~ ) ) >-~-< ) >-~-< >-~-< \ /~ >-~-< \,,,,\,,,,,,,,,\, /~,,,,,,,,,,,,,/,,,/~,,,,,,, unknown Visit here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rupert.html --- ...Awesome! Thank You Viv for this sweet reminder! -<>- >Daily Rules from God for 2009 , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' 1. Wake Up!! Decide to have a good day. 'Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.' Psalms 118:24 2. Dress Up!! The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. 'The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart.' I Samuel 16:7 3. Shut Up!! Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. 'He who guards his lips guards his soul.' Proverbs 13:3 4. Stand Up!!... For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything.. 'Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good...' Galatians 6:9-10 5. Look Up!!... To the Lord. 'I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.' Phillippians 4:13 6. Reach Up!!... For something higher. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, And He will direct your path.' Proverbs 3:5-6 7. Lift Up!!... Your Prayers. 'Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.' Philippians 4:6 Send this to the people you care about. I thought this was mighty special, just like you. Pass this on and brighten someone's day, and remember: God answers Knee-Mail. --- ...Sweet! Thank You Viv! -<>- >RED RIVER FLOODING THESE PHOTOS ARE BREATHTAKING!!! READ IT, BEFORE YOU DELETE IT!! http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/red_river_flooding.html --- ...Wow, what a great collection of photos and comments! Thanks Viv! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend James :) ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw I'm Not Old. Just Mature Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase this chap took off ten percent. I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; And he answered, Because of the Seniors Discount. I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries; And there, once again, got quite a surprise. The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me. He said, For you, Seniors, the coffee is free. Understand---I'm not old---I'm merely mature; But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure. The newspaper print gets smaller each day, And people speak softer---can't hear what they say. My teeth are my own (I have the receipt.), and my glasses identify people I meet. Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure. You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature. The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun. You should see all the damage that chlorine has done. Washing my hair has turned it all white, But don't call it gray...saying blonde is just right. My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed. Yet a kid yells, Old duffer...get off of the road! My car has no scratches...not even a dent. Still I get all that guff from a punk who's Hell bent. My friends all get older...much faster than me. They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see. I've got character lines, not wrinkles...for sure, But don't call me old...just call me mature. The steps in the houses they're building today Are so high that they take...your breath all away; And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago. That should explain why my walking is slow. But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new, And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo. I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure, I'm not really old...I'm only mature Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art --- ...TeeHee! Thanks James! ===================================================== >-->From Laff&Lift: The Lift , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >Evil is Among Us (By John Fischer)[Edited] I was in the mall today and I happened to have a very small cross pinned to my shirt collar. A man in his 30's almost bumped into me as the mall was crowded. He looked me in the eye, looked at my cross pin. Stared at it for a moment. Gave me the most evil look I have ever seen. His eyes opened wide and he slowly backed away from me with a disgusted look on his face and turned around and walked away quickly. I got a very cold chill and felt very uneasy. You can speculate for yourself as it might have meant nothing and simply been a chance encounter. Maybe he did not like me wearing a cross because he thought I was flaunting my religion and shoving it in his face. (The cross is 1/2 inch high). Maybe he thought I was a minister and he had had a bad experience with one of them. I don't know. But, for whatever reason, my cross disturbed this person. His facial expression changed from neutral to mad/evil once he recognized the cross. He gave me a very dirty long stare and quickly departed. The evil in his face [was unmistakable]. I believe evil is all around us. I believe Satan is present. This very brief experience brought the evil in the world into clear focus for me at that moment. Sometimes I push Satan's existence out of my consciousness and want to pretend he does not exist. But when I look around at what is happening in this world....pornography everywhere and on the internet, sex dominating every aspect of our lives, abduction of children, drugs, prostitution, greed....I can't deny the existence of Satan and evil. Philippians 3:18-19 (NIV) says "For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things." Once I got over the shock of the look on that person's face in the mall, I felt a calming presence as I said an OUR FATHER to myself. I realized that God is also all around us. I can turn to HIM and HE can "lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil." --- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' ...interesting. I had a similar experience while pumping gas the other day. This man literally scowled at me as he walked by me. Hard to miss as he had his head turned glaring at me until he would of been walking backward had he continued! I had just got done filling my tank when he appeared again making sure to come within a foot of me to glare at me with his face full of hatred as he went to his own car. I learned a long time ago not to show fear in the face of evil. 2 Timothy 1:7 'For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.' I didn't know this person nor had done him any wrong. Just figured it was one of those Genesis 3:15 things... 15: "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel." He sure had enmity toward me! __,='`````'=/__ '// (o) \(o) \ `' _,-, //| ,_) (`\ ,-'`_,-\ ,-~~~\ `'===' /-, \==```` \__ / `----' `\ \ \/ ,-` , \ ,.-\ \ / , \,-`\`_,-`\_,..--'\ ,` ,/, ,>, ) \--`````\ ( `\`---'` `-,-'`_,< \ \_,.--'` `. `--. _,-'`_,-` | \ [`-.___ <`_,-'`------( / (`` _,-\ \ --`````````|--` >-`_,-`\,-` , | <`_,' , /\ / ` \/\,-/ `/ \/`\_/V\_/ ( ._. ) ( .__. ) | | | | \,---_| |_---./ ooOO(_) (_)OOoo Zeus If you are confronted by something that you know is of the devil, be sure to ask Jesus Christ to take care of it for you. It is something he gets a kick out of doing. I know because He always tells me, "My Pleasure!" - remember, God moves when you move - you have to ask and then it is all down hill from there! :) Helpful teachings for this... Our Valuable Anchor http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html Dealing With The Adversary Part 1 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/dealingwiththeadversary1.html Dealing With The Adversary Part 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/dealingwiththeadversary2.html The Unforgiveable Sin http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/unforgiveable.html Taking Action http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/takingaction.html Walking In Power http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/walkingpower.html You Are The Only You God Has http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html -<>- The Laugh ,n888888n, .8888888888b 888888888888nd8P~''8g, 88888888888888 _ `'~\. .n. `Y888888888888. / _ |~\\ (8"8b ,nnn.. 8888888b. | \ \m\|8888P ,d8888888888888888b. \8b|.\P~ ~P8~ 888888888888888P~~_~ `8B_| | ~888888888~'8' d8. ~ _/ ~Y8888P' ~\ | |~|~b,__ __--~ --~~\ ,d8888888b.\`\_/ __/~ \_ d88888888888b\_-~8888888bn. \8888P "Y888888888888"888888bn. /~'\_"__) "d88888888P,-~~-~888 / / ) ~\ ,888888/~' / / / 8' ( / / / |) ) / '"88(/ ~ / / | ( /_/ /~ \( _/ / (_(_ ( /~~\/ , O,/~\___/_/' ~~~ | \_ ( )( \_| -- by Gordon M"uller __--~"mb ,g8888b. _/ 8888b(.8P"~'~---__ / ~~~| / ,/~~~~--, `\ ( ~\,_) (/ ~-_`\ \ -__---~._ \ ~\\ ( )\\ )) `\ ) "-_ `| \__ __/ ~-__ __--~ ~~"~ ~~~ One-Liners - If you find something you like, buy a lifeetime supply, because they will stop making it. - If you eat a live frog in the morning, notthing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day. - Sign outside a Dairy Queen: "Scream until daddy stops the car!" - If you can read the writing on the wall, iit means the kids have found the crayons. - How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis?? OK, then raise my hand. - I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem. - Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem. - There are only two things a child will shaare willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Cleaning your house while your kids are att home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News :) >from LibertyCounsel: Obama judge: "No" to Jesus, "Yes" to Allah President Barack Obama's first judicial nominee, David Hamilton, is a former ACLU attorney, who as a federal trial judge issued a court ruling that said "No" to Jesus and "Yes" to Allah. In 2005, this former ACLU activist ordered the Speaker of the Indiana House to immediately stop "sectarian prayers" at the opening of the legislative session. Specifically, Hamilton ruled that prayers "using Christ's name or title" were sectarian and therefore unconstitutional. To make matters worse, in a post-judgment motion for this same case, Hamilton ruled that prayers said to "Allah" were acceptable! So, according to Obama's first judicial nominee, prayers to Jesus are unconstitutional but prayers to Allah are just fine! Liberty Counsel filed an amicus brief opposing Hamilton's ruling in that case and fortunately it was reversed by the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, the same court to which he has now been nominated for life time tenure. But this case and others have exposed the far-left, anti-faith and anti-life positions of President Obama's first judicial nominee. Go here for more details on Hamilton's record: http://www.libertyaction.org/r.asp?U=17696&CID=297&RID=18134714 On Wednesday, the Senate Judiciary Committee begins its hearings on the Hamilton nomination. I am asking you to take a stand with me in opposing this nomination. + + Fax the Judiciary Committee now I am asking every member of the Liberty Counsel team to fax the Senate Judiciary Committee right now and say "NO" to the Hamilton nomination for Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. We have set up a special fax system that will automatically deliver your faxes to your two Senators and key members of the Judiciary Committee. Go here: http://www.libertyaction.org/r.asp?U=17697&CID=297&RID=18134714 Of course, if you prefer to send your own faxes, we encourage you to do that as well. My staff has provided both the contact information and sample fax letters. Hamilton also blocked an informed consent abortion law in Indiana that is nearly identical to a law approved by the Supreme Court. In fact, the Seventh Circuit called Hamilton's obstruction of the informed consent law "an abuse of discretion." + + This nomination will set the stage Paul, because this is President Obama's first judicial nominee, the Hamilton nomination will set the stage for all future Obama court nominees. We must take a stand! Please... send your faxes today. Thanks again for standing for faith and life in this increasingly hostile political environment. Mathew Staver, Founder and Chairman Liberty Counsel -<>- >From BizarreNews: 8c __/~\__ (((\_/))) _) (_ cgmm -- KFC set to fill up potholes and stomachs --------- LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Kentucky Fried Chicken says it will move beyond filling up patrons' stomachs, by providing pothole repair for residents of Louisville, Ky. The fast-food chain has offered to fill up potholes throughout Louisville in return for the right to stamp the newly repaired road hazards with the stencil slogan, "Re-freshed by KFC," Advertising Age reported. "This program is a perfect example of that rare and optimal occurrence when a company can creatively market itself and help local governments and everyday Americans across the country," said Javier Benito, KFC executive vice president of marketing and food innovation. Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson appeared ready to support the KFC proposal given the budgetary constraints facing many U.S. cities. "It's great to have a concerned corporation like KFC create innovative private/public partnerships like this pothole refresh program," the mayor said in a statement. -- Police say fingernails gave away robber ---------- CHELSEA, Mass. - Police in Chelsea, Mass., say a bank robbery suspect was apprehended after being identified by her orange fingernail polish. A witness said the woman who made off with $450 in cash from the Sovereign Bank Wednesday had nails coated with a bright burnt orange fingernail polish, The Boston Globe reported. The robber presented a note demanding money to a teller and left the scene after the bank employee complied, police said. Thanks to another witness who wrote down the license plate number of the fleeing robber's vehicle, police quickly located their suspect. After tracing the license plate and locating the accompanying vehicle, police found their suspect, Margaret Christie, and her flashy fingernails, the Globe said. -- Geographers map 7 deadly sins in U.S. ----------- LAS VEGAS - Geographers have mapped the sinfulness of the United States, attempting to come up with numbers for each of the seven deadly sins. Thomas Vought and colleagues at Kansas State University devised indexes for sloth, gluttony, lust, greed, wrath, envy and pride, The Las Vegas Sun reported. Sloth was based on spending per capita on arts and entertainment compared to the employment rate; gluttony on fast-food outlets per capita; lust on rates of sexually transmitted disease; greed on average incomes compared to the number of people living below the poverty line; wrath on violent crimes per capita; and envy on property crimes. The researchers decided that pride is the master sin and therefore merged the rates of the lesser sins. Vought presented the findings at the American Geographers' meeting Tuesday in Las Vegas, a city some- times regarded as the sin capital of the United States. The researchers said the Las Vegas area, Clark County, beats the rest of Nevada in most sins but ranks third behind southern gambling centers like Biloxi, Miss., in pride. --- ...Go here to view the study more: http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/mar/26/one-nation-seven-sins/ ========================================================== >-->From Arcamax Jokes: _|_ | _|_ //_/\ __| ||____ ////////////\ /////////////\\ |^^^^^^^^^^||+| | # # # |||| .... ....". ||||||||||||||||| The little church in the suburbs The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. “I'll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.” “Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn't you receive them yet?” “Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown. “However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, ‘Play Golf Next Sunday.’” -<>- Tree Problem Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery, but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs. My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation. "I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager. "Good," said my wife. "What's it suffering from?" "Autumn," he replied. -<>- Magic of the Internet My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?" -<>- ,---. |: ,+--. |: |: \| |: |: >=| |: |: /| |`.|: _( (_ |`._)``. `=(_ `._ `=='`-----' hjw Cowboy Boots Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one! Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help & she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the 2nd boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots." Her trial starts next month . . ================================================================== 00000 0000 n########n s 000000||000000 O ## ^ ^ ## s 00000000||000000 ## -- -- ## ====#=== ####0##0# 000000000|00000000 O ## ) () ( ## ,, #] ##0#0 #### # 00000000||0000000 O## O ##==" #] ##0# * * #00# # 00000000|0000000 [##-------##nnn###] #00 O ### ""mm#0000000||00000 * [##### ###"""" 000#0 #00 ## 00000||0000 *** [## |##-------####n ##000##00### ## 0000|000 ... [##w-### #mmm ""###""" # ##"#" 00000 nHHHn==[#### ###------------] "m ### # ## 00 mmmmmmmmm[##nn########## ]mm ## m" """## HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[-----]## ##"" ##""# n HHH%%%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[ ]HHHHH ## "nn" HHH%%%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[-----]HHHHH ## HHH%%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[ ]HHHHHH ##nn"nn""nHHH%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[___]HHHHHHHHH ## HHH%%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ## HHHH%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH "nn## %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% ## n" IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII||||||||000IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ## n" n" "n ||||||00000 "n ## nn" ##" "n" """n |||||000000 ###" n" ANSI/ASCII-cfbd- " The Caterpillar from Alice In Wonderland " >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :) John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. He asked the centipede in the box, 'Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?' Silence; There was no answer from his new Pet. This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes, and then asked him again, 'How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?' Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time, putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, 'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a beer with me?' A little voice came out of the box: I heard you the first time! I'm putting my fricking shoes on! --- ...TeeHee! A Good One! Thanks Del! ==================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: _.._ .-' `-. : ; ; ,_ _, ; : \{" "}/ : ,'.'"=..=''.'. ; / \ / \ ; .' ; '.__.' ; '. .-' .' '. '-. .' ; ; '. / / \ \ ; ; ; ; ; `-._ _.-' ; ; ""--. .--"" ; '. _ ; ; _ .' {""..' '._.-. .-._.' '..""} \ ; ; / : : : : : :.__.: : \ /"-..-"\ / fsc '-.__.' '.__.-' >Alternate Uses for Peanut Butter * Feed large globs of it to your dog for cheap entertainment. * Mix it with egg whites and ammonia to see if it takes out stains. * Plug holes in your paneling walls. * Save it up so you will have plenty during your retirement years. * Make "Cream of Peanut Butter" soup. * Put it in the bell of your brass instrument to make interesting new sounds. * Coat the lower half of your bicycle with it. Ride around town so everyone will think you were riding in the mud. * Two words: eye shadow. * Let it dry out and use it as silly putty. * New Olympic Event: PB Swimming. * Use it as "heavy" ammo for your Super Soaker 11000. * See how much of it your vacuum cleaner can handle. * One word: Gargle. * No shaving cream? No problem! * Get that tan you always wanted. * Color it. Use it in place of Play-Doh. * Get out your alchemy set and try to turn it into gold. -<>- Sounds A teacher arranged her young students into a circle. She then went around the circle and asked each one a question. "Davey, what sound does a cow make?" Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'" "Alice, what sound does a cat make?" Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'" "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'" "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh ... it goes ... 'click!'" ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son, Billy, and one of his friends burst through the door. "Hey Dad, announced Billy, "have you met the new neighbors?" "No." "Come on Dad, you have to meet them." "Some other time; I'm busy." "Dad, you have to meet them now." From the urgency in Billy's voice, I assumed the neighbors were waiting outside. I set aside my project and went to the front of the house. No one was there. "Where are they?" I asked. "Well, Dad," he explained, "we haven't met them yet either, but our baseball is in their living room!" -<>- __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son." "Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has nothing standing in his way." -<>- At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels. A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets in. When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then, he looked out at us and said, "Gramma, could I have a quarter?" -<>- An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors." ============================================================ >-->From TheMouthPiece: >Bizarre Courtroom Testimony Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people. Q: Could you see him from where you were standing? A: I could see his head. Q: And where was his head? A: Just above his shoulders. Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present? A: It indicates intercourse. Q: Male sperm? A: That is the only kind I know. Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979? Q: Were you acquainted with the deceased? A: Yes, sir. Q: Before or after he died? Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? A: I refuse to answer that question. Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago? A: I refuse to answer that question. Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? A: No. -<>- >Sport Gaffes "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." -- Harry Carpenter (BBC TV, University Boat Race 1977) "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey." -- Brian Johnston (as Michael Holding faced Peter Willey) "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." -- David Coleman "We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waitz is 80 seconds behind." -- David Coleman "On another night, they'd have won 2-2." --Ron Atkinson (commenting on a Valencia-Livverpool Match) "He is accelerating all the time. That last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before in 62." -- David Coleman "That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record." -- David Coleman "And Britain defeats the rest of the world to pick up the bronze medal." -- Unknown "The Americans sowed the seed, and now they have reaped the whirlwind." -- Sebastian Coe ====================================================== >-->FUN Places to Net Visit... >Our Friend Wesley has been on the net prowl for tools! Free IT Management Software http://www.spiceworks.com/ openSUSE http://www.opensuse.org/en/ Wine - Free implementation of Windows on Unix http://www.winehq.org/ Free-Stock-Photosphere http://www.picfindr.com/ Freeware - Locate files and folders by name instantly http://www.voidtools.com/ Free Internet Telephone Calls http://evaphone.com/ Novel Writing Software - yWriter5 http://www.spacejock.com/yWriter5.html --- ...Excellent! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Misty Morning http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/MistyM.html Carol w/Stranger in My Home http://www.carolspoetry.com/strange.html Prayer1 http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/prayer1.htm Modern Toilet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moderntoilet.html gravy http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121114.htm gunfighter http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121115.htm border http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121116.htm hammered http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121117.htm Strange http://www.buffalosjokes.com/313137.htm Here! Ouch http://www.buffalosjokes.com/313136.htm Here! Spinning http://www.buffalosjokes.com/313135.htm Here! If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =========================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The method preferred by most balding men for making them- selves look silly is called the 'comb-over,' which is when the man grows the hair on one side of his head very long and combs it across the bald area, creating an effect that looks...from the top...like an egg in the grasp of a large tropical spider." --Dave Barry "'Muesli' is not a word we use in America. When we sweep up after we have been doing woodwork and put it in a bag with mixed nuts and a little birdseed, and pretend it's a health- ful breakfast, we call it granola." --Bill Bryson in I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF "Scrapie is another excellent word. Scrapie clearly couldn't mean anything but a disease. Though, on reflection, it might be a Scottish cut, as in, 'e fell down and got a wee scrapie on his knee." --Bill Bryson "President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that's just in his administration." - Jay Leno "I was the kid next door's imaginary friend." - Emo Phillips "My father spent the last 20 years of his life writing letters. If someone thanked him for a wedding present, he thanked them for thanking him and there was no end to the exchange but death." -Evelyn Waugh "The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. -Laurence Peter "Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can always print a retraction." -Adlai Stevenson "In the end, everything is a gag." - Charlie Chaplin ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN List Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************