Happy Babe Ruth Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *\o_ _c/* / * * \ <\ *\o/* /> ) c/* / > *\o <\ /> __o */\ /\* c__ * /> <\ * /\* __o_ _c__ */\ * / * * \ * <\ /> *\c/* ejm97 __)__ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I am quite pleased to announce that we have a couple new sponsors for the website www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com. With our present shelter in place situation around the country, our first sponsor may be just the ticket to keep boredom from driving you car tinkerers crazy. It is also a good source for those of you, like my son, who like to save money on car repairs. He likes to find out what his car's problem is at the shop and then locate a quality part for it himself online. This always saves him money over what the shop would charge him and he is assured he gets what he is paying for which is a new, not used, quality replacement part! This company is great! Search from over 10 Million Auto Parts at always 80% off product list prices! Be sure to check them out here... ____________ .F............T. | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''. | `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '. _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' Dealer Alternative Parts Geek https://www.partsgeek.com/ Our next new sponsor is sure to win the hearts of you ladies and gents with a sweet tooth! They have lots of yummy favorites and many Pinata's to delight the little ones too! Be sure to check out their low prices along with one of the best selections of authentic south of the border candies and treats in the world! You will delight in their sweet, sour, and spicy Mexican candy they have in stock and ready to ship direct to you! ___ .-""-. ___ \ "-. / \ .-" / > -=.\/ \/.=- < > -='/\ /\'=- < /__.-' \ / '-.__\ jgs '-..-' The Candy Warehouse - Mexican Candy https://www.candywarehouse.com/international-candy/hispanic/mexican Mexican Culture Dia de Los Muertos https://tinyurl.com/ybkz3ubx Be sure to check out both of these fine companies today! You can always be assured that I only go with the best for you! :) -<>- >2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first flaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. It is one to leave you a bit flabbergasted and stunned. This dog is truly amazing! Just check out the video here if you don't believe me... __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb Amazing Belgian Malinois http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/belgianmalinois.html --- ...Wow! Thanks Linda! The dog reminds me of my Border Collie mix. He was super adept at going after tennis balls, but even he couldn't climb trees and walls! Amazing to say the least! Our next too hot to handle new page is from our friend LouiseAu. The time we are living in right now is one that will surely go down in history as being a very trying and unique time. It is well that we document it for next generations. Many think these times with us handling this pandemic will shape our entire future. Time will tell. Here is a page that just a few months ago would have blown our minds as not ever being possible - yet here we are. Be sure to check this one out and enjoy the awesome video here too: W .__. .__. [ ] |::| |::| E ._. |::| |::| ._. |\ |:| ._. |::| |::| |/| \ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::| |::|_ |/| |-( )- |:|"|/|_|::| |::|\|_|/| _ | V L |:|"|/|||::| |::|\|||/||:| \ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~pwh Covid-19 Effect On US Cities! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coronaviruscities.html --- ...Absolutely shocking and sad. Thanks LouiseAu! My sister's favorite group was the Rolling Stones. Love this video - I hope that they will be among the groups playing in heaven. My sister and I will love that! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: __ .--.;_.'-. _., \__.' ;@ '. .'; `. ; __..-"'o ; ;' ; ;_/ ._.-' '. } : / `. _i/v\. ; i',; ( \_.' .(_) ; ' /{ \/ '. .r_.' .'\ ; .' .''-';_ ; ''-. ; / '.`. \ ; '. ; '. '._.; _ ; ; ; \.' '.__.-i ; fsc 'wWw' "wWw' Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half of the shell to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat." -<>- (Following is the way I feel about the left wing news media and some of my Democrat friends who are saying that Pres. Trump actually told people to go inject themselves with disinfectant...) ............. .... .... .. .. .. .. . ___ ___ . . / , \ / , \ . . \___/ \___/ . .. . .. . .. O . . | | . . \ / . . \ / . .. \______________/ .. .. \_____\ \ \/ .. .... | \ |.... ...... | | | Derek S. Tan \___/ >Creative Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid 1. A few crumbs short of a crouton. 2. A few clowns short of a circus. 3. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 4. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. 5. A few beers short of a six-pack. 6. A few peas short of a casserole. 7. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 8. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl. 9. One taco short of a combination plate. 10. A few feathers short of a whole duck 11. All foam, no beer. 12. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. 13. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 14. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. 15. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. 16. As smart as bait. 17. Chimney's clogged. 18. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. 19. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. 20. Forgot to pay her brain bill. 21. Her sewing machine's out of thread. 22. If she had another brain, it would be lonely. 23. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. 24. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 25. Has the intelligence of a Carrot. --- ...What Trump actually said - :“I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets in the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that,” he said. “So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light — and I think you said that that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it. And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body,” the president said Thursday. The President had just been hit with this report... Sunlight, heat and humidity weaken coronavirus, U.S. official says http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=21680&z=58 Of course, all the dumb-dumb people see is the first part of his statement and not the second part. To sum it up for you not so smart people the disinfectant he is referring to here is clearly a "VERY POWERFUL LIGHT". https://tinyurl.com/y9oc54hm ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 27 is Babe Ruth Day, Morse Code Day, National Prime Rib Day and Tell a Story Day April 28 is International Astronomy Day, Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss Your Mate Day. April 29 is Greenery Day, International Dance Day, National Shrimp Scampi Day and National Zipper Day April 30 is Hairstyle Appreciation Day, National Honesty Day and National Mahjong Day May 1 is International Tuba Day, Loyalty Day, May Day, Mother Goose Day, Save the Rhino Day and Space Day May 2 is Baby Day, Brothers and Sisters Day, Free Comic Book Day, Herb Day and Kentucky Derby Day May 3 is Garden Meditation Day, Lumpy Rug Day and World Press Freedom Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _,--, _ __,-'____| ___ /' | /' `\,--,/' `\ /' | ( ) ( )' \_ _/' `\_ _/ pb """ """ >New Glasses A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?" "I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way." -<>- >Larger Bills I do the water and sewer billing for a small city in Washington State. Customers complained about our postcard-sized bills -- which they said looked too much like junk mail. So we decided to start sending full-sized bills in envelopes. The month before the switch, I had a note printed on the cards, announcing the change. Two days after the new bills went out, I heard someone yelling at our receptionist, "Is this some kind of joke?" When the customer threw his bill upon the desk, I saw his point. The note was, "Coming soon! New Larger Bills!" -<>- >Smart Horse A man riding out in the woods fell from his horse and broke his leg. He was a long way out, so the situation looked pretty grim. Then the horse grabbed the man's belt in his teeth and dragged him to the shade of a nearby tree. He made the man as comfortable as he could and then galloped off to get help. The man was discussing the incident a few weeks later. His friend was very impressed and said, "That is one intelligent horse!" "Naah, he's not so smart. He came back with a vet." -<>- >GCF: Painting the Shed While in the checkout line at Home Depot I overheard one man say to another, "My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long she got mad and did it herself." His friend nodded. "I like women who get mad like that." -<>- >Riding Mower Our four-year-old daughter looked on as the officer took down the particulars following the theft of our riding mower the night before. Three weeks later, as we were heading home, my husband was pulled over for speeding. As the officer approached our car, our daughter, curious as to why we had to pull over to the side of the road said. "What? Did he find our lawn mower?" -<>- >Ten Minutes Alone After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." ========================================================= >-->In Honor Of 'Tell A Story' Day... .a88a. . a888888:..--. \\\ 8888888:`\ \ \\\`Y888P' , \. \ =\\\_..' o/ . \ \ `c\`-' <\/| \. \ \ \ ( .'` ) \ \n .' ._/ a:f \__|).\ ._/ (--: .-)_/ `--' >The Last Cameron Column By W. Bruce Cameron Ages and ages ago — like, 1993 — people would purchase a PC, plug it in and then stare in wonder at all the error messages. There wasn't much else to do with the things if you weren't part of the "information economy," though people gave it their best shot. "Look!" Mom would cry. "I'm typing my recipe cards into the computer!" "Wow," the children would say. "Mom is so smart." (Unless they were teenagers, in which case they would say, "Mom is such a dork.") "From now on," Mom promised, "these recipes will be permanently stored in the computer until there's a hard disk crash and we lose everything. It's far superior to the old, unreliable system of index cards, some of which were handed down from your great- grandmother!" The family would be eating dinner when suddenly the computer would announce, "You've got mail!" Everyone would bolt, racing to the monitor. "Some generous person in China wants to sell us Viagra!" Mom would shriek excitedly. Actually, no, that's not what the email said. Back then, most email said, "Tell me if you got this email!" The unfortunately named "spam" hadn't yet become a feature in life, so email was something of a joy. When your Uncle Fred passed along a joke someone had passed to him, you didn't write back TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST, UNCLE FRED. One of the things that Fred was kind enough to pass along was this oddity called "The Cameron Column." Written by some guy named W. Bruce Cameron, it was an emailed, opt-in newsletter that was random both in subject and publication schedule. I was writing the thing and sending it out over the Internet because I wanted to write humor and hadn't been successful in getting my work published any other way. At its peak, The Cameron Column had 50,000 readers in 52 countries, if you count Texas as a country. And then people's email boxes started filling up, computers became more reliable, and Uncle Fred got indicted. The column fell from favor. Around that time, though, I wrote a column called "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter." It was extraordinarily popular, to the point that thousands of people took my name off it and sent it around as if they themselves wrote it. It even showed up on Oliver North's website as something like "Colonel North's Rules for Dating His Daughter," which led me to conclude either that he had stolen my column or that I was Oliver North. When I wrote to the colonel, he was immediately apologetic, explaining that he had a staff who edited the website and that he would make sure they were pushed out of an airplane. No, actually he made sure I got my byline on his site and promised me he would help me get syndicated, and that's exactly what he did. Some things happened along the way to syndication: I wrote exclusively for the (now sadly departed) Rocky Mountain News for a few years, and, most significantly for me, I was able to turn my "8 Simple Rules" into a successful book and TV show on ABC starring John Ritter. But since Creators began carrying my column, I've been appearing in somewhere around 50 newspapers in the U.S. and Canada — probably, if you are reading this, I've been in your paper. I've had several books published subsequent to "8 Simple Rules," including my New York Times bestseller, "A Dog's Purpose." Which leads me to where I am today: fortunate enough to have a couple more books in the pipeline, but so overwhelmed with all the work those commitments entail that changing gears every week for my column has become increasingly difficult. This is my 689th weekly column, and I'm taking a break. Some newspapers have chosen to continue to run my column as a "best of" collection, and others are taking the position that none of my columns are "the best." After a rest, I may be back, but in case I'm not: Thank you for doing me the honor of reading my work, all these years. Without you, I'd still be sending emails, wondering if anyone was reading them. I am eternally grateful for your support. Yours, W. Bruce Cameron To write Bruce Cameron, visit his website at www.wbrucecameron.com. To find out more about Bruce Cameron and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .__ .-". (o\"\ | | \_\ | | _.---:_ | ("-..-" / "-.-" / / | "--" AsH >SMILES: A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a cop following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, there were 2 cops following her. She shot up to 90 mph. The next time she looked around, there were 3 cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The 3 cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." ---------- A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. "I need to talk to the governor -- it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place," begged the attorney. "Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with the funeral home." ---------- A distraught dog owner called a vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained that his dog had a large growth or swelling near the corner of its mouth that had appeared to grow overnight, so the vet told him to bring the animal over. When the man came in with his dog, the vet examined the animal as the man stood by, anxiously waiting the vet's opinion. At last the doctor turned to him and asked, "Do you have any children?" "Oh my gosh, is it contagious?" the man gasped. "No," the doctor answered. "It's bubble gum." ---------- A customer walks into a dress shop and ask, "May I try on that dress in the window?" The salesperson replies, "We prefer you use the dressing rooms." ---------- On Coast Guard Cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always dropping dishes and spilling food. One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow sheet-cake cooling on a counter. Determined to rectify past errors, the seaman made chocolate icing and carefully decorated the cake with it. The seaman stood proudly by the dessert as the head cook returned to the galley. Frantically, the cook began to look around. "Where did my cornbread go?" --- ...LOL! Oh My! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ___ / `\ \ // \ \ //\ \__ _/ |\ | \ \__| >Blondes Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep. ---------- Q. Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A. They always forget the recipe. ---------- Q: Why did the blonde pee on the floor? A: Because the sign said "wet floor." ---------- Q. Why did the blonde secretary cut off her finger? A. She wanted to write shorthand ---------- Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow sat down --- ...Teehee! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- No wonder we are all confused! ). .( ; '-. .-' : ; '-. .-' ; '._ '. .' _.' '.'. \ ___ / .'.' '.'. :.-" "-.: .'.' ;.-' '-.; .' '. : __..---..__ : : .-' _.-"""-._ '-. : : .' .-'._ _ _.'-. '. : : : .' < o> ( ) '. : : : : i '-._ / \ _.-' i : : : : '--..__/. .\__..--' : : :: ' ' :: :-.__ __.-: '. `-._____.-' .' ;'-."-.___.-".-'; ; ; '-.___.-' ; ; __.-' '-._ _.-' '-.__ _.-' `---' '-._ .-' '-. >Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines: 1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can. 2. Masks are useless. But they will protect you. They can save you, no they can’t, they’re useless, but wear one anyway. Now they’re mandatory. But maybe. Or maybe not. --- ...Then: Masks have to be expertly form fitted to your face. Now: Just any covering handmade or even a scarf will do. 3. Stores are closed, except for the ones that are open. 4. You should not go to the hospital unless you have to go there. Stay out of the ER at all costs unless you’re having a medical emergency. Then it’s okay. 5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster. Stay calm. 6. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes. --- ...Then: You Want Toilet paper or towels or hand sanitizer or cold medicine? Good luck! Now: You want milk or meat or hand sanitizer? Good luck! 7. The virus has no effect on children except those it has affected or will affect. 8. Animals can not get infected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested yet, and a tiger.. and one really deadly but also possibly fictional sick bat. 9. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. 10. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but never go out.. so eat shelf stable processed crap and stay inside your four walls, you need to stay healthy. 11. It's better to get some fresh air, but you may be arrested if you’re getting fresh air the wrong way and most importantly, don't go to a park, the fresh air there is deadly. 12. Under no circumstances should you go to retirement homes, but if you have to take care of the elderly and bring them food and medication then fine. Just wear gloves. The same ones. All day. --- ...And never touch anything with them - especially your face! 13. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to leave your groceries outside for 3 hours to be decontaminated by the fresh air that also may have virus particles floating around in it. Or you can wipe your groceries with Lysol. But not the food because then that will make you sick. Also, you can't get the virus from eating food with contagions on it. But you can get it by putting it in your mouth. Wait. What? 14. Taxi drivers are immune to the virus apparently since you can still take a taxi ride with a random taxi driver. Just don’t take the taxi to your mom’s house because you know. Stay away from your mom. 15. You can walk around with a friend if you stay six feet apart but don’t visit with your family if they don't live under the same roof as you. Even if you’ve all been locked inside for two months already. You may still have the virus and just not know it yet. You’ll find out. Wait another week. Wasn’t that a week? Might be the next one. Keep waiting. 16. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance. Social distancing means you shouldn’t leave your house and don’t be social, except you may go to the liquor store but don’t socialize there while you’re being socially distant. 17. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily. 18. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however, in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which now studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe. 19. If you have symptoms, call to book a diagnostic test. You will get your symptoms over the phone but if you are eligible for a test, you don't need the test. Assume you have it and quarantine for two weeks. If you don't have symptoms, you are not eligible for the test. Quarantine for two weeks or better yet, until we lift restrictions, which may be in a week, a month or 6 months. Also, whoever wants a test can get a test. 20. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of. --- ...All people who have died for any reason could have died from the virus so we must count them as being a casualty of the virus. 21. The virus will only disappear if we achieve collective/herd immunity... but stay inside until the virus disappears because we have no immunity. 22. Please stand 6ft behind the person standing in line with you, maybe the virus cannot travel sideways so its ok for people to be using all 3 ATM's at the bank... --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! So, what we are being told is - Kiss your ass goodbye and hope in so doing you don't infect your love ones when kissing them? It is all so confusing! So, to make a long story short - Let Go And Let God! 1 Pet.5: [7] Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: ,-. Life keeps rolling along...... ( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - |`-'| : : : : : : : : | | : : : : : : : : `-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ - cww Use kitchen drawer dividers in your bathroom. You know, those same things you use for silverware and other odds and ends. Those dividers can be perfect for storing makeup, tooth- brushes, floss containers, and other small items in your bathroom drawers. As in the kitchen, they serve the additional function of protecting your drawers from moisture. * Install hooks for towels. If you don't have enough room for all your towels on your towel racks, mounting hooks is fast and easy and will provide you with the additional space you need. * Keep all your larger toiletries (hair spray, lotion, etc.) inside a larger bin or box, and store that under your sink. When you get ready each day, you can just pull it out and use everything, and then put it all back. That's a lot easier than looking for every item individually. * Erase suede stains with stale bread In a circular motion gently rub suede with bread that's been left out for a few days or toasted until brittle. The bread works like fine sandpaper to remove dirt without damaging the material. * Wash makeup brushes with a dab of olive oil Pour 2 Tbs. of olive oil on a washcloth and rub the bristles back and forth to loosen any caked-on powder. Then swish the brushes in a bowl of castile soap and warm water to remove any remaining oil. Rinse, then air dry. * De-grime a Keurig with a citrus brew Add 2 Tbs. of citric acid powder (usually found in the baking aisle) to the reservoir, then fill it with water and run a brew cycle without K-Cups. The acidity breaks down lime scale. Refill with fresh water and run a few more cycles to remove any citrus taste. * Revive a cast-iron skillet with a kosher salt paste How to clean a skillet without losing the oils that season it? Make a paste with kosher salt and water. It's abrasive enough to scrub without leaving flavor behind like soap can, while gentle enough to preserve the oils. -<>- Aluminum foil is a staple in most household pantries, as it comes in handy for everything from wrapping leftovers to lining the drip pans below your stove burners, but did you know you can also use this common household material to clean! The thought of cleaning rust with aluminum foil may seem crazy. However, the material is known for really bringing the shine back to chrome. Tear off a strip of aluminum foil and dip it in water. Gently rub the wet foil on the rusted spots. If the foil dries out, dip it back in the water or grab a fresh piece. Every now and then, wipe away any bits of rust with a dry microfiber cloth. Repeat this process until you've removed all of the rust. Buff the chrome with a clean microfiber cloth and apply a coat of wax or polish to prevent future rust buildup. * Cleaning Silverware With Aluminum Foil Another one of the many aluminum foil uses is cleaning the tarnish off of silverware. You'll need: - Aluminum foil - A glass baking dish - Enough boiling water to completely submerge your silver- ware in the baking dish - 1/2 cup of distilled white vinegar - 1 tablespoon of baking soda - 1 tablespoon of sea salt - A microfiber cloth - Tongs - Use the aluminum foil to completely line the glass baking dish. You'll want to make certain the shinier side of the foil is facing upwards. - Combine the baking soda and sea salt, then sprinkle the mixture into the dish. - Now, add the vinegar to the dish. You'll see fizzing as it reacts with the baking soda. - Taking care not to scald yourself, add the boiling water to the baking dish. - Place your silverware in a single layer along the bottom of the dish. You need to make sure that each piece is making contact with the aluminum foil. - Let the silverware soak for 30 seconds to 3 minutes, depending on how heavy the tarnish is. - Use your tongs to remove the silverware from the solution, taking care not to burn yourself. - Dry and buff your silver with a microfiber cloth. -<>- >'Go Green' Hint: When it comes to using the toilet be sure you're reaching for toilet paper created from recycled sources--remember, rolling over is better than rolling under--and avoid using products made from virgin boreal forest trees. The Natural Resources Defense Council has a solid list of recycled paper sources, so you aren't literally flushing virgin trees down the toilet. And when it comes time to flush, close the lid before hitting the button to prevent the spread of bacteria around your bathroom. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: CDC Coronavirus https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html Facebook Portals for Veterans, VA Financial Relief Actions, VFW’s grant funds https://content.govdelivery.com/accounts/USVA/bulletins/286b54c On Arbor Day, the White House renewed its push to sign the Trillion Trees Act. In a statement Friday, President Trump said the initiative "will lead to cleaner air and water, create wildlife habitat, and reaffirm our nation’s commitment to conserving the majesty of God’s creation and the natural beauty of our world." https://tinyurl.com/y747thja ‘Calling for Americans to die’: Chinese official’s tweet about gargling disinfectant sparks backlash https://tinyurl.com/yb35nt2k Former CIA Operative: China Uses Dems As ‘Useful Idiots’ To Spread Propaganda, Biden ‘in The Tank’ For Beijing http://trk.cp20.com/click/g7u1-1yr24e-mqcqk7-d7x9nsh8/ ‘I want the same equal treatment:’ Biden accuser Tara Reade tears into media, women’s groups, Democratic politicians https://tinyurl.com/y8qylyfl USNS Comfort Leaving New York After Cuomo Told Trump it was no Longer Needed https://tinyurl.com/y7cbmspk As Trump Works To Reopen America — Schiff Plots Ridiculous New Witch Hunt http://trk.cp20.com/click/g7u1-1yr24e-mqcqk1-d7x9nsh2/ ‘It’s time’: Grassroots campaign calls on governors to reopen the country https://tinyurl.com/y7vw5ghh AG Barr Warns of Action Against Governors who Persist With Strict Lockdowns https://tinyurl.com/y9gnkj24 These states are rolling back restrictions to reopen https://tinyurl.com/yb6w4kz2 Top 4 Tips To Stay Positive During A Pandemic https://tinyurl.com/y9kc4ujv Trump Suspension of Immigration Over Coronavirus Will Protect Our Health, Jobs and Wages https://tinyurl.com/yanvgnrr First Lady Sends Gifts to Hospitals Dealing with Coronavirus -The Associated Press https://tinyurl.com/y9cr88vu John Durham Expands Investigative Team Amid Coronavirus Outbreak http://trk.cp20.com/click/g7u1-1yr24e-mqcqk9-d7x9nsh0/ Former NSC Chief of Staff: John Brennan Suppressed Intelligence That Putin Actually Favored Hillary in 2016 http://trk.cp20.com/click/g7u1-1yr24e-mqcqkb-d7x9nsh1/ Lara Trump: 'The Clinton campaign, not the Trump campaign, actually did some collusion with Russia' https://tinyurl.com/y7lfsmma Westwing News: Latest Round of Coronavirus Relief Shows Hardworking Americans Not Forgotten https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: We’re keeping millions of Americans on the payroll https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Story Time - Breast implants can do a lot for a woman. They can give her confidence, pride, even a sense of identity, but it's not often a breast implant saves a woman's life. Fortunately for the woman in today's story, that is exactly what happened... the most most bizarre way possible. A woman's life was likely saved by her silicone breast implants after she was shot in the chest at close range while walking down a street in Toronto, doctors have said. The 30-year-old's left breast implant deflected the bullet away from her vital organs into the other breast, according to a case study published last week in the SAGE medical journal. The incident is one of only a handful of cases where a woman was saved by her breast implants and is believed to be the first involving silicone ones, the study said. The patient, who was not named, went to the local emergency department in the Canadian city after feeling pain in her chest and seeing blood. Surgeons found a single entry wound and retrieved a bullet from below her right breast, which police forensics later determined was a copper jacketed 0.40 caliber. They removed her implants and photographs with the study and CT scans show the bullet passed through her left implant and hit her right one. "Based on trajectory of bullet entry clinically and evaluation radiologically, the only source of bullet deflection of the bullet is the left breast implant," it said. "This implant overlies the heart and intrathoracic cavity and therefore likely saved the woman's life." Despite being shot in the chest at close range, the woman escaped relatively unscathed with a fractured rib and damaged implants. "The firearm was never recovered, and the shooter remains unknown." -<>- For many Americans, their local bar is the center or their social life. It's where they meet friends, discuss life, relieve stress and pickle their livers. But with so many bars, pubs and brewhouses around the country closed down due to the coronavirus, millions of Americans are left without this important part of their routines. Fortunately for the residents of downtown Houston, one bar is stepping up to fill the void. Despite coronavirus closures for bars, Bovine and Barley in downtown Houston is bringing patrons frozen cocktails and other drinks straight to their doorstep with its adult ice cream truck. Yes, an adult ice cream truck. And even better, delivery is free! The truck operates from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily. The menu features a classic lineup of margaritas, mules, pina colada, daiquiris and other mixtures. You can place an order by texting. You must be 21 years or older and must show a valid ID at purchase. They deliver to neighborhoods in Montrose, Bellaire, Midtown, downtown, Washington and the Heights. *-- Couple Fined After Posting Vacation Photos --* Jaz and Garry Mott of Victoria, Australia thought it would be nice to share photos of their 2019 vacation with their Facebook friends. Unfortunately, eagle-eyed police officers spotted the photos and assumed that they'd been taken during mandatory stay-at-home orders. The couple was met at their door by police and "were handed fines of AU$1,652 each for 'failure to comply with a direction given to a person in the exercise of a power under an authorisation given under section 199.'" The Motts had trouble convincing the police that they were in error, which is unusual because police are well-know for quickly admitting errors when presented with the facts. In this case however, the police didn't revoke the fine until the story made the local news, after which they quietly returned the money. *-- Homeless lothario seduces to beat the streets --* A New York homeless man said he avoids having to sleep on the pavement by getting women to take him home with them. Joe, 26, a Boston native who said his mother threw him out when she found his drug stash, said he can make up to $150 panhandling on the streets of Manhattan in a given day, but he spends most of his money on keeping up his appearances -- as well as on drugs and booze. Joe said he goes home with women three to four nights a week. "I do homelessness a little differently," Joe told Elite Daily. "I might sleep on cardboard two or three nights a week, but I literally wake up every single day and do whatever the [expletive] I want." He said there's no real secret to his seduction technique. "It's not like I forgot how to get (women) just because I became homeless," he said. *--- innesota Man Killed in Raft Shootout ---* Austin D. Heights, 24, was fleeing police after he allegedly stole snacks and beverages from a gas station while carrying a gun, according to the state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (BCA). A clerk at the BP Expressway reported to law enforcement that Heights came in and stole beef jerky and something to drink while carrying a long gun in a white garbage bag, according to emergency dispatch audio. Heights took to a raft on the river, where a witness told authorities the suspect also had a sawed-off shotgun with him. About two hours after the reported theft, one officer was heard on the audio saying "shots fired," quickly followed by "he shot and fired twice at me. I fired back twice. He's still floating." Heights was hit multiple times. A close friend of the family said Tuesday that Heights was mentally ill and had a fear of police. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: .--. ________ |Oo| |()| | -} .----\""/----. | \/ | | | . | | | | . | |____/__ \ \ . (_____/_= \ \ \ \/\=[]===) (""\ | | |_/ | | | | >He Was A Leaner A friend always seemed to lean slightly to the left. It bothered me, so I suggested that he see a doctor and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused, telling me I was crazy, but last week, he finally went. Sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was a half-inch shorter than his right. A bit of orthopedic surgery later, both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no longer leans. "So," I said, "you didn't believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg." He just looked at me and said, "I stand corrected." -<>- >What's The Story? A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor..." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" -<>- >What's in the Bag? A salesman is driving toward home when he sees an guy thumbing for a ride on the side of the road. As the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the hitchhiker gets in. After a bit of small talk, the hitchhiker notices a brown bag on the front seat. "What's in the bag?" the hitchhiker asks the driver. The driver says, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife." The hitchhiker is silent for a moment then says, "Good trade." -<>- >Where? A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde looks up and says, "Where?" -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? A: "Donut Seeds!" Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. _ // ___ // / \ // : ==\ <\// \____/_.-'_}> / `-`\ .//`' :__<_ :/ " /.--.\ | { \>-->From Our Friend Linda :) ___, __)____)__ -)- ))) , \=_/ \__ __/). )_/=\ /6) \ __((_\_/\ / __/ \ /_/-\o____) / ,_/| \ \/ ))__|_ \_)o_' _.-' ,/:_/_:) ___ '---`' \>__/ /o /---.,/_ \ ( / / /o / \) \ | (' \,/ ( / _____/ )___> / /\ ( / _______/,_____| |,( / ) ) / (_ \ | _/ o) \ /_ |/ \_ / ( '| (___,_/-` `.__ / ' \ | / ,---' / _/ \( \_/ / / )\ ( < b'ger ,./_(,, , \_/,,._ >You know you're a redneck when.. 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it 8 You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat 12.. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. --- ...LOL! Oh My! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room. Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single." -<>- My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story. We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?" My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor." -<>- __ / \ |.--.| (` . TS . ') \;;`..' / ;~- -~;), ,; . /(;,, __;;- (;(.;); / ;,~; \);;(;,; / (. )( .);~;)`~ / / \ /\;(; ~` \ \ ) ( /;~;` \ \|||||||\ ||\ /|| Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?" Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round. Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!" Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on her face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from her pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?" -<>- We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately. It was raining hard and I couldn't play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours. Seems like a nice person. -<>- At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern. Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor. The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza. -<>- "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" I asked my friend. "He wants to be a garbage man," he replied. "That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age." "Not really. He thinks that garbage men work only on Tuesdays." ========================================================= >-->In Honor Of Babe Ruth Day :) NATIONAL BABE RUTH DAY. On April 27, baseball fans around the country honor one of baseball's all-time greatest players on National Babe Ruth Day. George Herman “Babe” Ruth, Jr., born on February 6, 1895, in Baltimore, Maryland was nicknamed “the Bambino” and “the Sultan of Swat.” _--_ ( A's) /___7 .~~\ /~~. /""_ V \ om /____/ / .mmmC="_ _/ -----===(((((}{).MMM "" | `"---" ..mMMM"" | \ ( )" \ /\ | / / \ \ /" / \ \ \__/" \__/ '94 the wolfe / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ >Funny Baseball Jokes: Q: Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? A: If he raised them both, he’d fall down. Q: Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC? A: Yankee Stadium Q: A man leaves home, makes three left turns and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they? A: They’re the catcher and umpire. Q: Why did the Braves hire a baker? A: They needed a new batter. Q: What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? A: The fence. Q: What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? A: One steals watches and one watches steals. Q: When should baseball players wear armor? A: When they’re playing knight games. Q: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? A: Catch ya later! Q: Where do catchers sit at lunch? A: Behind the plate. Q: Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be? A: It’s full of fans Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there’s not a fan in the place. Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location. They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there. Q: Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? A: Forget it. It’s way over your head. Q: What are the rules for zebra baseball? A: Three stripes and you’re out. Q: Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team? A: To add a little team spirit. Q: What does a baseball player do when his eyesight fails him? A: He takes a job as an umpire. Q: Where do you keep your mitt while driving? A: In the glove compartment. Isaac: How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Vera: I’m stumped. Isaac: Five minutes. It was a short stop. A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him. Daniel: Which baseball player loved ?replaces? Bradley: Which one? Daniel: Mickey Mantle. Austin: Which baseball player makes flapjacks? Ethan: I don’t know. Austin: The batter! Christopher: Why did the sausage quit playing baseball? Anthony: Beats me. Christopher: Because he was the wurst on his team. Bob: What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs? Fred: I have no idea. Bob: A fly swatter. Lyle: Did you know baseball is the first sport in the Bible? Dale: No, I didn’t. Lyle: Yep, in Genesis it says, “In the big inning!” Ty: What do male cattle use to write? Luke: Beats me. Ty: Bullpens! Nathan: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Kyle: I’m stumped. Nathan: “Catch ya later!” Michael: Why are some umpires fat? Andrew: Tell me. Michael: They always clean their plate! ___ .-"`` `'. .' \ / \ | _.-"-._ | __..-"` `. '---'``-._ / jgs ``--....-'` Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?” “Roof,” the dog barked. Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels. “Rough.” He still wasn’t convinced. “O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog. “Ruth.” With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?” Peter: What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie? Sammy: I have no idea. Peter: The Umpire Strikes Back. Chris: Which baseball player holds water? John: I don’t know. Which one? Chris: The pitcher. See more Here: https://boyslife.org/features/32801/20-funny-baseball-jokes/ ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Chinese Walmart!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html Chinese Olympic Cuisine!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/olympic.html Amazing Things!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingthings.html Menu Bloopers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menubloopers.html Only ONE Job 4!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob4.html Over The Limit 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/overthelimit2.html Walmart Parking!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html Did You See That?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat.html Humor With Golf!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html Morons at Work 4!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork4.html Life's Little Oops 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html Got A Nanosecond 7?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano7.html Beware Of Dog Signs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html Humorous Boat Names!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boatnames.html Pets Left Home Alone 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome2.html Decorating A Man Cave!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mancave.html When Sandman Attacks 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman2.html MacGyver - How To Do It 6!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver6.html -<>- >Some of My Rolling Stone Favs: The Rolling Stones - Rock And A Hard Place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pYBQg4qifU The Rolling Stones ~ Terrifying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_geAZ8_Ryg The Rolling Stones - It's Only Rock 'N' Roll (But I Like It) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGaBlygm0UY Waiting On A Friend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKLVmBOOqVU The Rolling Stones - Miss You (Voodoo Lounge Uncut) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UmyXOe-orM Start Me Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IOL-VT-WnE The Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knocking - Live OFFICIAL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vtILjo26ew The Rolling Stones - Respectable - OFFICIAL PROMO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptDz5BwAgXQ The Rolling Stones - She's A Rainbow (Official Lyric Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c1BThu95d8 The Rolling Stones - Love Is Strong - OFFICIAL PROMO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te6VBiRjhqA Mick Jagger - Just Another Night - Official https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hev2qx1y2IU Mick Jagger - God Gave Me Everything https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN22X8gsD1g -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Dancing at the Movies featured scenes include Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, White Nights, Saturday Night Fever, Footloose, Grease, West Side Story, Singing in the Rain, 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, and more. From Fred Astaire to Michael Jackson and John Travolta I’m sure there will be a scene in here that you enjoy. If you enjoyed this video and are a fan of Fred Astaire and Eleanor Powell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVG_QA5stBc --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! Here's one like it - 66 Movie Dance Scenes Mashup with Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAG7ECgXjcs ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "In Florida, an 87-year-old man has donated 100 gallons of blood throughout his lifetime. And the weird thing is, only half of it is his." -Conan O'Brien "Today, Prince William and Kate Middleton welcomed their third child, a baby boy. A lot of people were betting on the name of the new royal baby. And those people have a name too--they're called gambling addicts." -Jimmy Fallon "A Colorado woman was given an apple on her flight home from Paris, she put it in her bag and forgot about it, and now she's facing a $500 fine for not declaring it at customs. I'd be suspicious of this woman, too. I mean, who eats an apple at the airport when there's a Cinnabon right there?" -James Corden "This weekend is the 80th birthday of Superman. Now that he's 80, Superman is rendered helpless by Kryptonite and his email password." -Conan O'Brien "A group of scientists in Singapore built a robot that can put together Ikea furniture. That's when you know something's wrong, when it's easier to build a robot than an Ikea dresser." -Jimmy Fallon "You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m." -James Corden "SpaceX is planning to build a Mars rocket right here in Los Angeles. The voyage to Mars will take nine months, but eight of those months will be spent just getting out of L.A." -Conan O'Brien "In honor of Tax Day, Hardee's offered free breakfast biscuits if you said the password 'Made From Scratch.' Arby's had a similar deal. They gave you a free roast beef sandwich with the password 'Made From Squirrel.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for stealing $31 worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for this guy. That has got to be a tough conversation once you're in prison. 'Yeah, I'm in for armed robbery and arson, what about you?' 'Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'" -James Corden >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************