Happy Bird Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ *~* Happy National Bird Day! - (For all us bird brains I guess ;) . , '. '. \ \ ._ '-.'. `\ \ '-._; .'; `-.'. `~-.; '. '. '--,` '. -='. ; .--=~~=-, -.; ; .-=`; `~,_.; / ` ,-`' .-; | .-~`. .; ; .;.- .-; ,\ `.' ,=; .-' `~.-._ .'; .'; .' .' '-. .\ ; ; ,.' _ a', .'~";-` ; ;"~` `'-=.) .' .' . _; ;', ; '-.._`~`.' \ ; ; : `~' _'\\_ \\_ /=`^^=`""/`)-. jgs \ = _ = =\ `""` `~-. = ; >Some of Shangrala's Birds Links... Eagle Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Eagle Vs Swan! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagleswan.html Real Eagle Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html Feather Painting! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather.html Feather Painting 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather2.html Eagle Sculpture Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagleart.html Maria The Goose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goose.html Tale Of Two Swallows! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/swallows.html Great Horned Owls! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/owl.html Owls In Camouflage! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/owls.html Colorful Birds! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds.html Colorful Birds 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds2.html Colorful Birds 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds3.html At The Car Wash! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carwash.html World Of Peacocks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This scorching new hot page is from our friend Linda. This one takes all the confusion out of the new big cats we've been seeing in recent years. An excellent resource and awesome photos with it too! Check it out here... , ,, , , ,; ; ;; ; ; ; , ; '; ; ;; .-''\ ; ; , ; ;` ; ,; . / /8b \ ; ; `; ; .;' ;,\8 | ; ; ` ;/ / `_ ; ;; ; ; ; |/.' /9) ; ; ` ; ; ; ,/' ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; /_ ; ; ` ; ; `?8P" . ; ; ; ; ; ; ;; | ; .:: ` ;; ; ; ` ; ; `' `--._ ;; ;; ; ; ; ; `-..__..--'' ; ; ;; ; ; ; fL ; ; ; ; ; ; Hybrid Big Cats! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hybridbigcats.html --- ...Beautiful Animals! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ) .-"(" "-. A True Story... .-|`'---'`| | | | ____ Last April 1st, in a small \| | .'` __ `'. ____ local town, Josh and Big Hoss `\ / | '--' |.'` __ `'. (two rookie policemen) were jgs `"---"` \`------`/| '--' | patrolling the downtown `------' \`------`/ business area. They decided `------` to stop into the local coffee shop for a coffee and a donut. The time was 11:55 AM. Three minutes later, they got a call on their police radio, "Code 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Well there was only one bank in town, in fact, it was just across from the coffee shop. A code 33 was an "armed robbery" but it was also just 11:58 AM and Josh and Big Hoss decided it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them. So they continued on enjoying their coffee break. At 12:01 PM, they got a second call on their radio, "Repeat, Urgent, code 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Realizing it was past noon, they rushed across the street, but arrived 30 seconds after the banana split. _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) I am thankful for: .... the mess to clean up after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. .... the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed. .... the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat. .... my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine. .... the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking. .... all the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech. .... that lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear. .... the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. .... the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. .... my huge heating bill because it means that I am warm. .... weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means that I have been productive. .... the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 5 is National Bird Day January 6 is Bean Day and Cuddle Up Day January 7 is Old Rock Day January 8 is Bubble Bath Day and Male Watcher's Day January 9 is Play God Day January 10 is Houseplant Appreciation Day and Peculiar People Day January 11 is Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend's Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- >The Bishop We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally." -<>- >Heavy Sedation A patient had broken his leg and it was going to have to be set. To get him ready for this painful event, he was heavily sedated. While in this "state," he spoke rather freely with the hospital staff and with his wife. She apparently learned several things about her husband. When it was time to reverse the medication, the wife said "Wait! Not yet. I have some more questions I want to ask." -<>- >Shopping Purchase One evening my teenage daughter and I were out shopping when she decided to make a purchase. She greeted the cashier with only a "Hi," then proceeded to dig nervously in her wallet. She was having obvious trouble counting out the correct bills and change. But rather than help, the cashier simply stood and watched while she fumbled and mumbled her way to the correct amount. Finally, the transaction was completed. As we were walking to the car, my daughter turned to me and said, "That was my math tutor." -<>- >Typewriter Most of my boarding school students are very computer literate, so I was surprised to find one sophomore writing her term paper on an electric typewriter. In a reminiscent mood I said, "When I was in school my typewriter wasn't even electric." She looked at me in shock and asked, "Do you mean it was battery- operated?" -<>- >Yardstick While waiting in line to check out at a paint store, a customer held up a yardstick and asked the clerk, "Do you have these in a larger size?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb People are always saying New Yorkers can't get along. Well it's really not true. Last time I was on the way to the airport I saw two New Yorkers on the side of the road along the way, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy was taking the tires and the other guy was helping himself to the alternator, radio and battery. -------- One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was THERE WAS AN OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY. After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll die?" "Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on FEAR FACTOR." -------- My niece bought her five-year-old daughter Kayleigh a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside-down and finally found him. Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school, he disappeared again. She searched frantically ... but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece took the cage out of her room. When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother's lap. "We have a serious problem," she announced. "Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took his cage." -------- A young pastor was pleased that a particular woman in his congregation always asked for copies of his sermons. One day his pride got the better of him and he asked her about it. "Oh," she responded brightly, "they're just the perfect size for the bottom of my bird cage!" -------- I went out to this restaurant not long ago and met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner, I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know." ------- Pearly Gates == == <^\()/^> <^\()/^> \/ \/ \/ \/ /__\ . ' . /__\ == /\ . | . /\ == <^\()/^> !_\/ ' | ' \/_! <^\()/^> \/ \/ !_/I_|| . ' \'/ ' . ||_I\_! \/ \/ /__\ /I_/| || -== + ==- || |\_I\ /__\ /_ \ !//| | || ' . /.\ . ' || | |\\! /_ \ (- ) /I/ | | || . | . || | | \I\ (= ) \__/!//| | | || ' | ' || | | |\\!\__/ / \I/ | | | || ' . ' * || | | | \I/ \ {_ __} | | | || || | | | {____} _!__|= || | | | || * + || | | | || |__!_ _I__| ||__|__|__|_|| A ||_|__|__|__||- |__I_ -|--|- ||--|--|--|-|| __/_\__ * ||-|--|--|--||= |--|- | | || | | | || /\-'o'-/\ || | | | || | | | |= || | | | || _||:<_>:||_ || | | | ||= | | | |- || | | | || * /\_/=====\_/\ * || | | | ||= | | | |- || | | | || __|:_:_[I]_:_:|__ || | | | ||- | | _|__| ||__|__|__|_||:::::::::::::::::::::||_|__|__|__|| |__|_ -|--|= ||--|--|--|-||:::::::::::::::::::::||-|--|--|--||- |--|- jgs|- || | | | ||:::::::::::::::::::::|| | | | ||= | | ~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~ [edited] Saint Peter is sitting at the Gates when two guys from Ferguson arrive wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here, I'll be right back." St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental strictly on their appearance. Go back and let them in so you may look them up in the Book Of Life!" St. Peter goes back to the Pearly Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone." "The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God. "No. The Pearly Gates." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN? >The Latest Marriage Dictionary! A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining some issues in marriage that people were curious about. Here are some of the definitions we thought we'd offer to include in it: Bachelor 1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable. 2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free. 3. A man who never made the same mistake once. 4. A bad boy who has cheated some poor girl out of her alimony. 5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit. 6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie. Bride A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her. Compromise A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way. Diplomat A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat. Gentleman A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up. Housework What a wife without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it. Husband A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so. Joint Checking Account A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw. Love An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding. Mother-in-Law A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers. Mrs. A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition. Spouse Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. Wife A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet. --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! With jokes like these, is it any wonder marriage is on the decline and divorce is on the increase? The devils due or right up his alley! -<>- ' , ejm96 .<<<<<. ,` >>'#-#`>> { <<\ - /<< __ ` >.J L._> \ / {_ /(_\_/_)\ // _____..' // \ . / \'/ .-' \\_X._.X v `'-, \( \_/ ) `` \ | / _' | | | ,-' | | | `-, | | | ,-' | | | WS `-, (xIx) ` , ' , >Mystery At The Beach A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around and then speak to them. Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something that she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?' He hadn't and said so. Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.' Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. 'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. 'Well, what is it then? What does she do ?' his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.' 'Batteries?' cried the wife. 'Yes!' he replied. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN ! ! ! ! ! ! OOOOH! You're gonna dislike me for this - but it will make your day! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 'She Sells C Cells by the Seashore!' --- ...Oh Gee! TeeHee! Thanks Linda! -<>- ,,,, //// ,_ _ \ \ ( / ('* \*( ` ' ' -`, '\ `_C/ \\\| .\ __,(___ \ ) / .\__.-' `. ` | .____ \ '| | /` \ '| | / ` \'| | / ` | | / `-' _________))||( ( __\ \ ` \ `----. __\ ` \ `(_. \ `\ ` \ ,) >) /( ( / ""o ,/ ,/ ( )\ ejm o"" >They Walk Among Us.... ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!! AND THEY VOTE !!! Actual call center conversations! Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?' Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?' Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.' Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.' -<>- Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.' Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' -<>- RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?' Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?' -<>- Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe ) 'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' -<>- Directory Inquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please' Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off. -<>- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?' Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.' -<>- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on..' -<>- Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.' Customer: 'OK..' Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?' Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' -<>- Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?' -<>- Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?' -<>- The following has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble?' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared' Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?' Caller: 'No...' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark?' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't...' Operator: 'No? Why not?' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?' Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!' --- ...LMAO! Unfortunately you can't fix stupid! LOL! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ============;===========;() # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # jgs # # # # # # # [Politics] My Grandfather watched as his friends died in WWI... My Father watched as his friends died in WW II and Korea I watched and waited as my brother and friends fought for and died in Vietnam I watched as my friends fought and died in Desert Storm I watched and waited while my son and friends fought in Iraq None of them fought for or died for the Mexican Flag Everyone fought for and died for the U.S. Flag! In Texas, a student raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole; another student took it down. Guess who was expelled, The kid who took it down. Kids in high school in California were sent home on Cinco de Mayo because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them. Enough is enough. Every American needs to stand up for America. We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough I'm taking a stand I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the U.S. Flag can't stand up Shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist or hate message. Let me make this perfectly clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY! And, because I make This statement DOES NOT Mean I'm against immigration!!! YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN OUR COUNTRY! Welcome! To come through legally: 1. Get a sponsor! 2. Get a place to lay your head! 3. Get a job! 4. Live By OUR Rules! 5. Pay YOUR Taxes! And 6. Learn the LANGUAGE like immigrants have in the past!! AND 7. Please don't demand that we hand over our lifetime Savings of Social Security Funds to you. If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, Then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! When will AMERICANS STOP giving away THEIR COUNTRY? We've gone so far the other way... Bent over backwards not to offend anyone... But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN CITIZEN being offended or Our Country being used and abused by outsiders!! WAKE UP America!!! --- ...Aww, yes! Thanks Geniann No new thoughts here - check out these quotes: “In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.” ? Theodore Roosevelt Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country. - Theodore Roosevelt “A nation that cannot control its borders is not a nation.” ? Ronald Reagan ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: If you can't fan the flames of love with your Facebook crush, you might as well fan the flames of a house fire. At least that seemed to be the logic of a man indicted on arson and burglary charges for allegedly set fire to a Kentucky woman's home after she rejected his advances on Facebook. Police say the "disturbing" reason that James Graham, 37, broke into a 22-year-old single mother's home and set it on fire is because she rebuffed several uncomfortable comments he posted to her Facebook wall. Investigators say Graham set Joanie Yount's home on fire in November, although she and her 3-year-old son were not home at the time. Yount says she and Graham were only acquaintances but he was demanding something more and pursuing her through social media. "He was writing on all my pictures talking about how beautiful I am and let him take me out. I had actually told him to stay off of my Facebook, so he may have gotten offended over that," says Yount, adding that she asked Graham to leave her alone after a series of posts that made her uncomfortable. Although police collected evidence that led them to Graham, Yount says he wasn't hiding the alleged crime from anyone. "He was walking around bragging about it and saying he wouldn't have to pay the price," she said. And it is for this very reason that I don't use my real name on my Facebook account. A well-known and beloved semi-public figure like me would make a quick target for some 'fatal attraction' type. I'd like to see a stalker connect me with my pseudonym, Rusty Loudwater. -<>- As weddings go I don't suppose this is very bizarre. I have read about couples exchanging their vows while SCUBA diving, while skydiving, even while (or immediately before) bungee- jumping. Compared to these getting married aboard a hot air balloon is practically mundane. It is what happened during the ceremony that makes the event note-worthy. Things got off to a bumpy start when a gust of wind forced the pilot to make a crash landing in the yard of a San Diego home. A San Diego Fire-Rescue Department spokesman says one of the 14 people onboard suffered a minor back injury. The marrying couple said the gust caught the balloon just after they exchanged their vows, causing it to sway over the Rancho Penasquitos neighborhood. The landing on a hillside fence behind the house was filmed by a member of the wedding party. Video showed the blue-and- yellow balloon draped over trees near the house afterward. Not to be deterred from having a good time the couple continued to their reception. *-- Man returns stolen tablet when he couldn't make it work --* WHITLEY BAY, England (UPI) - A man who admitted stealing a tablet computer from a charity store and returning it eight days later because he couldn't get it to work was fined. Christopher Hooson, 33, was recorded by CCTV cameras taking the Android tablet from the window display at the Jonny Kennedy store in Whitley Bay, England. Store workers recognized him from the footage when he came back eight days later to return the tablet, which prosecutors said he was unable to work because he did not have the necessary "equipment." Prosecutor Lynne Russell said the tablet taken during the Nov. 11 theft was valued at about $78. "He was taken to the police station. He admitted taking the item. He said he saw it in the window and thought it would be cheap or free, as it was in a charity shop, so took it," Russell said. "He took it and realized it didn't work without further equipment, so returned it to the shop." Hooson initially told the court the theft was an accident. "I didn't intend to steal it. I forgot I had it in my bag, so I returned it when I noticed." Hooson, who admitted his version of events "sounds ridiculous," eventually admitted during questioning by District Judge Bernard Begley that his story was not true. "It's not very nice to steal from a charity shop. At least some sense eventually returned to you and you returned the item. However, it is a particularly mean offense," Begley said. Hooson was fined $117. He was also ordered to pay $132 in court costs and a $31 victim surcharge. *-- Woman arrested in Boston for throwing raw meat at police station --* FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (UPI) - In an explosive fit of symbolism, a woman in Boston bombarded a local police precinct with uncooked breakfast meats -- bacon and pork sausage. Before serving her unwelcome meal -- disguised inside a Dunkin' Donuts box -- the woman approached an officer at a teller window offered loudly to "feed the pigs." The woman, Lindsey McNamara, subsequently smeared several of the bacon slices and sausage links on the window, tossing the others onto the counter. Her assault on the William H. Welch Way police station, in Framingham, Massachusetts, was short-lived; she was arrested shortly after 11:00 a.m. She faces charges of disorderly conduct and malicious destruction of property. Lieutenant Harry Wareham said it isn't clear what her motivation was, but feelings of ill-will towards the police have been growing after a series of incidents involving the deaths of unarmed African American males at the hands of police. "There's a lot of unrest regarding law enforcement, and I don't know if [this] is related or not," Wareham told Boston.com. "There's probably a lot more productive ways to voice her displeasure with police." McNamara later claimed to be religiously motivated. "God told me to go over there and feed the pigs," she said during her first court appearance. *-- Porn plays behind Swedish news anchor --* STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A Swedish news channel said precautions are being taken after a pornographic film became part of a news broadcast. Viewers of TV4 News, a 24-hour news station, said they noticed a pornographic film playing on a TV screen behind the anchor Monday morning while he was interviewing a correspondent in Moscow about Syrian President Bashar Assad's weekend speech, The Local.se reported Monday. TV4 news editor Andreas Haglind said the 10-minute porn problem was likely related to a computer server in the studio connected to other networks operated by C More Entertainment, which owns TV4 News as well as networks broadcasting erotic content. "It's not like we were directly broadcasting porn," he told the Swedish- language Expressen newspaper. "Put simply, it's crap that it happened. We're going to do everything we can so that it doesn't happen again." *-- Beer lover designs brew for dogs --* BEND, Ore. - An Oregon man said he combined his love of beer with his love for his dog to create a successful product -- Dog Grog. Daniel Keeton of Bend, who works at the Boneyard Brewery's tasting room, said he designed the non-alcoholic brew for his dog, Lola Jane, and decided to market the product when he saw how much she enjoyed the concoction, KTVZ, Bend, reported Monday. Keeton said his Dog Grog is made from low-sodium vegetable broth, water, spent grain from Boneyard Brewery and glucosamine. He started bottling and selling the brew in July and his wares are now sold at Visit Bend and Muddy Paw's retail stores. "Two things that have become part of the Bend lifestyle are beer and dogs," Visit Bend chief executive officer Doug LaPlaca said. "So to create something that would take advantage of the two we thought was a brilliant idea." Keeton said he recommends serving Dog Grog as a treat on its own or pouring it over some dry dog food. However, he said there are other ways to serve it. "A couple of my friends who just acquired a puppy are making ice cubes out of it, and it's helping the puppy with teething," Keeton said. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ,a_a {/ ''\_ {\ ,_oo) {/ (_^_____________________ .=. {/ \___)))*)----------;=====;` (.=.`\ {/ /=; ~~ |||:::: \ `\{/( \/\ |||:::: \ `. `\ ) ) ||||||| jgs \ // /_/_ ||||||| '==''---)))) ||||||| Nancy Reagan tells the story of how President Ronald Reagan was once challenged by a college student who said it was impossible for Reagan's generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said. Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers..." Taking advantage or a pause in the student's litany, Reagan said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young. We invented them." -<>- , ,_ , .'<_ _> `'-,'(__.-' __< >_.--(.. ) =;` jgs `V-'`'\/`` This Strange English Language. We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim. -<>- : : :: :: ::`. .-""-. .':: : `.`-._ : '>': _.-'.' : :`. `=._`'. .''_.=' .': : `=._ `- '' -' _.-'.: :`=._`=. .='_.=': `.._`. .'_..' `-.: :.-' : : jgs `:.__.:' : : -'= -'= A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the lit- tle fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the childs shoul- der leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the childs level, the priest smiles benev- olently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!" -<>- __,---, .---. /__|o\ ) .-"-. .----.""". / 6_6 `-\ / / / 4 4 \ /____/ (0 )\ \_ (__\ ,) (, \_ v _/ `--\_ / // \\ // \\ // \\ // \\ (( )) {( )} (( )) {{ }} =======""===""=========""===""======""===""=========""===""======= jgs ||| ||||| ||| ||| | ||| | '|' | A guy walks into an empty bar and says, "Hey, Bartender, give me a drink." So the guy sits down, sipping his drink, when he hears a small voice, "I like your tie." The man turns to the bartender and says, "Did you say some- thing?" "No, I didn't say anything," says the bartender. The man shrugs it off. And again he hears the small voice call out, "Your hair looks really nice." The man turns to the bartender and asks. "There it goes again, didn't you hear that?" "No, replied the bartender, "I didn't hear anything." Once again, the man returns to his drink when he hears, "Gee, that suit looks great on you." "Bartender!" exclaimed the man, "I am absolutely sure I heard something. What's going on here?" "Oh", said the bartender. "That must be our peanuts. They're complimentary." -<>- .-. / a\_ \ _.-` .' \ // | // ; | /{ / / /;\.-'.`___\/ ///-'`\ | //' __/___ jgs /` `-. I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. -<>- _______ `-----.\ _____, `---- \\ .-./.---` ,__`---. `-` '>---` `,_.-. /`.-` jgs ',___.' " I overheard my father telling a family friend about my newly- assigned mission in the U.S. Coast Guard. I work on a cutter that escorts cruise ships and international vessels under the bridges in California's Bay Area. But what my father told his friend was, "She's involved in some sort of escort service." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friends Geniann, LouiseA, and PatDeE :) \/ .oOOo. ( @)(@ ) (`"` `"`) .'\ '' /'. / / \ / \ \ ; | \/ | ; |/ \| \ / '-......-' jgs __|_ _|__ /| |\ >PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted pay checks. 12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR." 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit 'the target'. 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 25. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. --- ...LOL! These Are Rich! Thanks My Friends! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _ ( `''--. .-. `'-. `\| | _ `\ /` ) _.'- ._ (_ ;-.-. '. `\ / / \ '.(` __\o_\o_/ ,`) .-'`` `""-. \ `''--.___, `\ } / / .-` ; } /_/.'`-....-'| } _ _ `"` / / .' \.' \ / / | / / _ __..--/` (__ _..----.._/ L.-' ) .--...--'' /` ` .--. _ `-. (_ __. /` -. ' `\`""--.,_) (_'__. { ) | '._ - _{ .' ,_/ '--'` { .' ,_/ \ (_, ._.' '. / | '-. _ | / `-||.--;\__/ jgs __ __||_ ||_ (_.``` "` `)(`" `-.__ _ (_.-' .-""` '-. -.`_) '.__.' \ ) ) '--'`"` >Did You Know? A SHOT OF WHISKY In the old west a .45 cartridge for a six-gun cost 12 cents, so did a shot glass of whisky. If a cow hand was low on cash he would often give the bartender a cartridge in exchange for a drink. This became known as a “shot” of whiskey. WHOLE NINE YARDS American fighter planes in WW2 had machine guns that were fed by a belt of cartridges. The average plane held belts that were 27 feet ( 9 yards ) long. If the pilot used up all his ammo he was said to have given it the whole nine yards. BUYING THE FARM This is synonymous with dying. During WW1 soldiers were given life insurance policies worth $5,000. This was about the price of an average farm so if you died you "bought the farm" for your survivors. IRON CLAD CONTRACT This came about from the ironclad ships of the Civil War. It meant something so strong it could not be broken. PASSING THE BUCK/THE BUCK STOPS HERE Most men in the early west carried a jack knife made by the Buck knife company. When playing poker it was common to place one of these Buck Knives in front of the dealer so that everyone knew who he was. When it was time for a new dealer the deck of cards and the knife were given to the new dealer. If this person didn't want to deal he would "pass the buck" to the next player. If that player accepted then "the buck stopped there". RIFF RAFF The Mississippi River was the main way of traveling from north to south. Riverboats carried passengers and freight but they were expensive so most people used rafts. Everything had the right of way over rafts which were considered cheap. The steering oar on the rafts was called a "riff" and this transposed into riff-raff, meaning low class. COBWEB The Old English word for "spider" was "cob". SHIP STATEROOMS Traveling by steamboat was considered the height of comfort. Passenger cabins on the boats were not numbered. Instead they were named after states. To this day cabins on ships are called staterooms. SLEEP TIGHT Early beds were made with a wooden frame. Ropes were tied across the frame in a crisscross pattern. A straw mattress was then put on top of the ropes. Over time the ropes stretched, causing the bed to sag. The owner would then have to tighten the ropes to get a better night's sleep. SHOWBOAT These were floating theaters built on a barge that was pushed by a steamboat. These played small towns along the Mississippi River . Unlike the boat shown in the movie "Showboat" these did not have an engine. They were gaudy and attention grabbing which is why we say someone who is being the life of the party is "showboating". OVER A BARREL In the days before CPR a drowning victim would be placed face down over a barrel and the barrel would be rolled back and forth in an effort to empty the lungs of water. It was rarely effective. If you are over a barrel you are in deep trouble. BARGE IN Heavy freight was moved along the Mississippi in large barges pushed by steamboats. These were hard to control and would sometimes swing into piers or other boats. People would say they "barged in". HOGWASH Steamboats carried both people and animals. Since pigs smelled so bad they would be washed before being put on board. The mud and other filth that was washed off was considered useless "hog wash". CURFEW The word "curfew" comes from the French phrase "couvre-feu", which means "cover the fire". It was used to describe the time of blowing out all lamps and candles. It was later adopted into Middle English as "curfeu", which later became the modern "curfew". In the early American colonies homes had no real fireplaces so a fire was built in the center of the room. In order to make sure a fire did not get out of control during the night it was required that, by an agreed upon time, all fires would be covered with a clay pot called-a "curfew". BARRELS OF OIL When the first oil wells were drilled they had made no provision for storing the liquid so they used water barrels. That is why, to this day, we speak of barrels of oil rather than gallons. HOT OFF THE PRESS As the paper goes through the rotary printing press friction causes it to heat up. Therefore, if you grab the paper right off the press it was hot. The expression means to get immediate information. --- ...I Love These! Thanks LouiseA! More of these here... Word/Phrase Origins! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Odin The White Tiger! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whitetiger.html Elephant Rescue 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant2.html Mouse Vs Leopard! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mouse.html World Of Big Cats! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigcats.html Thailand's Tigers 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tiger2.html Funny Animal Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zoo2.html Bobcat On A Cactus! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bobcatoncactus.html Leopard Vs Crocodile! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Newsworthy Animals 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals3.html Amazing Albino Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/albino.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) The sea otter is an amazing animal – these small members of the weasel family are native to the shores of North-Western America and North- Eastern Russia. These adorable mammals have some unique behaviors – family members will sleep while “holding hands” and mothers will wrap their pups in seaweed when they go hunting, but why? https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=o0OyhHeelyo The Great White shark is the ocean's apex predator. It's truly a fearsome and powerful creature. These unbelievable photos capture the animal in whole new light. Did you know they can fly? Seeing a Great White breach is a rare sight, but now you can enjoy it in the safety of your home. This video is incredible. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFgyFLbLejE&feature=player_embedded --- ...Cool! Thanks LouiseA! Reminds me of this one... Great White Shark! Great whites are found throughout the temperate marine waters of the world, but they appear to prefer regions where there are or were substantial numbers of seals. Learn More: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatwhite.html Birds are beautiful, there's no doubt about it. From the miniature toy-like quality of the colorful parakeet, to the glorious wingspan of the albatross or the eagle, these creatures that tour our sky as freely as we tour the earth are stunning to behold. But never are they more stunning then when travelling in flocks, soaring in their dozens, hundreds and thousands over us, basking in the sun and masters of the air. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6s7EfYpKy0o --- ...Beautiful! Thanks LouiseA! Reminds me of these beauts Beautiful Exotic Birds http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html And these... Sociable Weaver Birds - [building bird hotels] http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sociableweavers.html ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I bought a new razor. The one with the sensor. It's double- bladed; the first one is psychic and the second blade is omnipotent. They make it sound like you have to lock it in a box at night or it'll shave you while you're asleep." --Jake Johannsen "My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale." --Rita Rudner "Right on the alarm clock is the snooze button, which is basically a built-in cheating option. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, but finally I just taped it down." --Arj Barker "The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt." --Jerry Seinfeld "Karaoke bars combine two of the nation’s greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing." --Tom Dreesen "I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes." --Steven Wright "If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire." --George E. Woodberry "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." --Stephen Wright "My husband and I married for better or worse... He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse." >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************