Happy Blessed 4th of July! ... :) Shangy!!
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H A P P Y B L E S S E D F O U R T H O F J U L Y 2 0 1 6 !
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"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable
Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of
Happiness."
-- Declaration of Independence
"To be an American, whether by birth or choice, is a high privilege.
As citizens of this good nation, we can all be proud of our heritage
and confident in our future. The ideals of July 4th, 1776, still
speak to all humanity. And the revolution declared that day goes on.
We still place our trust in Divine Providence. We still pledge our
lives and honor to freedom's defense. And we will always believe that
freedom is the hope and the future of every land."
-- George W. Bush
"Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have."
-- Harry Possdick
"Liberty is always unfinished business. "
-- John Adams
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it."
-- George Shaw
"The human race is in the best condition when it has the greatest
degree of liberty."
-- Dante
May God grant that not only the love of liberty, but a thorough
knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all nations of the earth,
so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and
say, "This is My Country."
Two scriptures about liberty:
Galatians 5:1
"Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made
us free..." and
II. Corinthians 3:17
"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty."
-<>-
>From AFA:
This president understood what it meant to be an American
Monday, July 4, 2016
America needs a leader...a leader who understands that the only
hope for our country lies in its recognition of God as the
Supreme Ruler.
President Ronald Reagan was one such man. His faith gave us pride
in our country and hope for our future. He publicly expounded his
faith to all generations of Americans.
On this July 4, I encourage you to watch this short video tribute
to President Reagan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8s9cmtwqM4
Hear him quote John 3:16 and other scripture as Commander-In-Chief.
From the first minute of the video, President Reagan expounds on
the importance of prayer.
In our nation's history, America has faced many crises that have
brought her to her knees in prayer. Only with God's help can our
country be delivered from the evil that now prevails across our
land.
Will you join me in prayer for America? We've created a special
website just for this purpose. It includes a daily prayer calendar
you can use to pray for specific areas – Country, Church, Family
and your AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/gtfacmb
Tim Wildmon, President
American Family Association
================
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>-->ON FREEDOM from PBS.org site:
>Rachael, NC Contest Winner: What Does Freedom Mean To Me?
A term defined freedom in three distinct ways. (1) As the absence of
external restraint; (2) as the capacity to do what one wishes; (3) as
the capacity to do what one ought? Literally, freedom means "not in
bondage." The terms liberty and freedom, I believe, are used
interchangeably. However, freedom has a more philosophic meaning, and
liberty is mostly associated with the first of the three definitions
stated above. Freedom, in my eyes, applies to personal matters as well
as political matter.
Freedom brings not only rights but also certain responsibilities or
duties. For example, a man released from prison gains freedom, but at
the same time face responsibility of supporting himself. Looking at
freedom in The Constitution of the United States gives the people for
freedoms to govern themselves by Freedom of Religion, Assembly, Press,
and Speech. These four freedoms allow one to live their life to their
own standards without giving up their beliefs and their rights to
follow the Constitution. Each right or freedom means different things
to different people. In my eyes freedom is what you make of it. You
can't have freedom if, one, you don't take advantage of what is being
offered like voting and different activist groups such as NAACP,
Cretan clubs, community meetings to help decide what kind of
conditions and environment you and the people closest to you live in.
Freedom is also not being obligated to do anything that you don't
want. Thirdly, freedom is a privilege that you allow yourself; no one
can take away your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, which in
full is your guaranteed 'Freedom' nation's eyes, the people of a
nation that wins independence must be prepared to govern themselves
wisely if they are to avoid dictatorship or domination by a foreign
country. A citizen that gives up his right to vote risks losing the
freedom of having a say so in how he is governed.
By Rachael Beatrice Conyers-Hannah
South Mecklenburg High School, 12th Grade
-<>-
>Meg, IL
I think freedom means that we can be ourselves and do things without
someone telling us that we're doing something wrong. We can say
whatever we want to without being punished, killed, or put in jail.
I really admire Martin Luther King J.R. He spoke from his heart and
he really wanted black people to be treated equally. Today there are
still black people being treated badly or not equally.
-<>-
>Helen, AR
Freedom is not lack of restraint. U.S. citizens have restraints
(laws). Our laws define freedom. If a majority of citizens oppose a
law, they can hope to change it--THAT is freedom. Our laws provide a
necessary order, and protect the lawful.
-<>-
>Seb, VT
My family came here in 1992 from the Balkans because of the war. We
were lucky enough to get out of there when we did. When I first got
to America I can't believe all of the wonderful things that are here.
There is always a lot to do and to learn, and so many places that I
want to travel to. I have good friends at my school too that
encouraged me to join the track team. Being on the team has made me
popular. I love America!
-<>-
>Xiang, NY
There is no freedom in China like in U.S.A. I am glad too because my
mom and dad have twins girls! They are 10 years old and I love them
very much. My parents told us of their struggle to immigrate to
America to find a better life, to start a family, and to own their
own business. We all help out, do our house chores, and study very
hard. I want to be a doctor when I grow up to help people and I also
want to visit China.
-<>-
>Michelle, IL
To me freedom is a very trajedous thing. I feel sad to hear and learn
about what had happened to all these african-Americans. They just
wanted to have a good life -- not be sold to other people like they
were property. They wanted to be treated equally like other humans
in the world.
SO LET FREEDOM RING!
ALELUYA!
-<>-
>Rupa, NY
My sister makes documentary films and has just returned from India.
She went there to do a film about a bride in Bangladesh whose dowry
was too small and whose life was ruined after her husband threw acid
on her face. After watching her film, I feel so happy to live in a
country where women have the freedom to marry at any age they want,
not marry at all, marry who they want, and get a divorce if they
want to.
-<>-
>Chris, PA
The quiet, peaceful feelings of love and gratitude that I receive
through worshiping God is a freedom I cherish above all others. I
thank God for the American way of life and the freedom of worship
that we enjoy.
It hasn't always been that way. My ancestors were part of the Mormon
pioneers who crossed the plains with handcarts, fleeing persecution
and extermination orders (yes, in some places it was legal to kill
a Mormon). They went on to endure army occupations and Federal
oversight even after settling in a barren valley that no one wanted.
But those hardships only strengthen the gratitude and patriotism I
now feel. I am thankful that America learns from its mistakes, makes
course corrections, and moves forward with a vision of freedom that
is more encompassing, more tolerating, and, above all, more inclusive
than before.
God Bless America!
READ MORE HERE:
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/historyofus/php/story_read.php
================
o
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jgs \ // /_/_ \/
'==''---))))
*~* Last Month We Had A Tremendous Month Of Caring And Sharing!
>Be sure to View and Share all our newest pages:
Antique Automobiles!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/antiquecars.html
Humor With Golf!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html
Amazing Trivia Car Facts!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviacarfacts.html
Fun With Seniors!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seniorfun.html
Cell Phone Madness 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone2.html
Best Of National Geographic!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestnatgeo.html
Best Of National Geographic 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestnatgeo2.html
Best Of National Geographic 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestnatgeo3.html
One Giant Spiral Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onespiralart.html
Pets Left Home Alone 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome2.html
Recycled Watch Vehicles!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/watchart.html
*~* BIG HUGS, GOD'S BLESSINGS, And THANKS To All Our Contributors!
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
July 4 is Independence Day (U.S.), National Country Music Day
and Sidewalk Egg Frying Day
July 5 is Work-a-holics Day
July 6 is International Kissing Day and National Fried Chicken Day
July 7 is Chocolate Day and National Strawberry Sundae Day
July 8 is National Blueberry Day and Video Games Day
July 9 is National Sugar Cookie Day
July 10 is Teddy Bear Picnic Day
---
...Wow! What a wonderful week this is - all our favs!
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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'-------------------------'
>Independence Days (Serious, Not Humor)
Those of you who have been around this list for awhile know that
there are a few times during the year that I post something serious.
99% of what is sent to the Good Clean Fun mailing list is humor,
however right now I need to be serious for a moment.
Most of us, and by that I mean most of us in the United States, know
that the Fourth of July is the "birthday" of the United States of
America. It actually marks the anniversary of the adoption of the
Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress. Often
marked by parades and community celebration, it is a symbolic time
for American families to gather and reflect on their heritage.
Most of us take for granted that this day and all the other U.S.
holidays are "national" holidays. Did you know that the United States
observes no national holidays? Specifically, that means holidays
mandated by the Federal Government. The United States Congress and/or
President can only legally establish an "official" holiday for the
District of Columbia and for federal employees. In fact, it wasn't
until the 20th Century that an order was issued giving federal
employees a "day off" from work. A public holiday can only be
established at the local level. Typically the observance of holidays
happens at the state level with the enactment of a state law or by
an executive proclamation by a state governor.
I first started posting this piece in July 2000. After I posted it,
I received an email from Jen in Alberta, Canada. She asked me why I
only mentioned the U.S. holidays. She surmised that it was because
I was from the U.S. and to that extent, she is right. The U.S.
holidays, especially the ones dealing with independence, veterans,
and those who died for this country, are special to me. And since
Good Clean Fun is 99% humor, I certainly don't want to veer from
that basic premise and turn this into a history site. But Jen did
start me to thinking, so I did a bit of research about my neighbors:
Canada and Mexico.
Look back at the subject of this email. It is Independence "Days",
plural. So let me take a moment and briefly honor my neighbors:
1. Canada celebrates its Independence on July 1st. The British North
America Act created the Canadian federal government on July 1, 1867.
This Act proclaimed "one Dominion under the name of Canada," hence
the original title of the holiday as "Dominion Day." July 1st has
also been known in Canada as "Confederation Day." On October 27,
1982, the Canadian Parliament officially renamed the holiday as
"Canada Day."
2. Mexico celebrates many national and religious holidays. I must
admit that I always thought that Cinco de Mayo, the Fifth of May,
was Mexico's Independence Day, but a bit of research proved me
wrong. While Cinco de Mayo is a national holiday, it honors the
Mexican defeat of the French army at Puebla in 1862. September 16th
is Mexican Independence Day and it celebrates the day that Miguel
Hidalgo delivered "El Grito de Dolores", and announced the Mexican
revolt against Spanish rule.
3. Let me mention a third "neighbor" albeit one a bit farther away
than just north or south of the US. A ways back, Michelle emailed me
to tell of Australia Day which is celebrated down under on January
26th. That is the day Australia became a nation in their own right.
So, let's all be proud of and reflect on our heritage.
Have a great holiday,
Tom
PS: Don't forget to fly the flag!
------------------------------------------------
Many of you will not remember Red Skelton, one of the best comedians
of all time. Occasionally he would veer from comedy to a more serious
moment. My favorite piece of this serious/patriotic genre was done
many, many years ago where he divided the Pledge of Allegiance into
individual words and phrases in order to explain the meaning of each
one. The piece can be found on YouTube at the following web address:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZBTyTWOZCM
Finally, let's remember that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth
of July is more than beer, picnics, and baseball games.
-Tom
-<>-
>Children's Meal
We had been travelling by plane a lot, and as usual I had ordered
children's meals ahead of time for my three kids.
When six-year-old Jerome received his, he opened the container,
took one look at it and incredulously said, "Mom, they call this
a children's meal?"
I glanced at the standard fare of chicken and fries and asked,
"What do you mean, Jerome?"
"Look!" he exclaimed. "Broccoli!"
-<>-
>Tender, Loving Care
Diagnosing my problem as water on the knee, the doctor prescribed
complete bed rest. When we got home, my husband set me up in a
lounge chair and brought my knitting and some books.
As he packed ice around my knee, he said, "Now, honey, I don't want
you to move until it's time to get dinner ready."
-<>-
>Student Driver
A teenager was nervous as he took the wheel for his first driving
lesson. Two other students waited their turns in the back seat.
As the driver was pulling out of the parking lot, the teacher said,
"Turn left here, and don't forget to let the people behind you know
what you're doing."
The young driver turned to the students sitting in the back seat
and announced, "I'm going left."
-<>-
>VIP Cell Phones
The place where I work decided to provide company-paid cell phones
to the "suits" upstairs. After negotiating a deal with a cell phone
company, we arranged for the phones to be sent to the homes of the
various VIP's.
The day after delivery, I received a call from a partner screaming
about how his cell phone didn't work. He said he charged it
overnight just like the sheet said, but in the morning, it
wouldn't power up.
I asked EXACTLY what he did with the phone when he got it.
"I took it out, plugged the charger into the wall and into the
phone."
"Did you put the battery in the phone?"
"Not the extra one."
"Sir, the phone only came with one battery."
(Pause) "Oh, I think I figured out what's wrong with it."
-<>-
>Concern
After receiving the news that our son had been born, we notified
family members. Both sets of grandparents arrived at the hospital
together.
Just getting out of the car was quite an ordeal since all four were
in various stages of recovery from knee operations and hip
replacements.
As the foursome hobbled towards the hospital entrance, brandishing
canes and walkers, my mother quipped, "Mercy! I hope they don't
admit us before we get to the maternity ward."
=========================================================
>-->From our Friend Annie :)
,a_a
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>Walmatians
A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a hat reading
"Viet Nam Veteran." I had never had one of these before and was
pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ron was
considerate enough to take the time to mail it to me. Yesterday, I
wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular
that I needed at the world's largest retailer, but since I've
retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Wal-martians is always
good for some comic relief....besides, I usually feel much more
'normal' after seeing some of the people who frequent that
establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes...
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably
in his early 30s, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
"No" I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that hat?"
NOT being one to let a GOLDEN opportunity like this 'go by'
unchallenged, I said "Because I couldn't find my one for the War
of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh" the Wal-martian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity with
THIS 'fish' obviously 'on the hook; I said. "1936"
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they
call it the 'War of 1812' if it was in 1936?"
"It was a 'Black Op'. No one IS supposed to know about it." This
was beginning to be way fun.
"Dude! ...Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something
that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy
and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian
on the mission."
"Dude!" He was really getting excited about what he was hearing.
"That is seriously awesome! But, didn't you, like, kind of stand
out?"
"Not really", I said hesitantly..."The other guys were wearing
white camouflage."
The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a 'very serious' tone..."You can't tell
anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have
said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he said, giving me the "don't threaten me" look. "Like,
what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look, I said, "You have a family don't you? We
wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the
door.
By this time the lady behind me was laughing so hard she was about
to have a heart attack.
I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw the dimwit
leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching
sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly serious' look, I made the "I see you"
gesture at my eyes. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and
sped out of the parking lot. What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going
back with a 'Homeland Security' hat.
Whoever said retirement is boring, one just needs the right kind
of hat.
- Annie
You are as old as you remember you are.
---
...LMAO! Great! I DO Love hats! Thanks Annie!
[So funny I just had to repeat it]
=======================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
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jgs '{_}`
>DOCTORS NOTES ON PATIENTS' CHARTS:
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over
a year.
- On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it
disappeared completely.
- She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me
in 1993.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Exam reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
as a stockbroker instead.
- Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
- The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. X, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient appears responsive, but unable to communicate with me.
- Bladder is under control, but cannot stop urine from seeping.
- Heart problem is fixed. Patient died at 10:07 this morning.
- Complains of chest pain occasionally. Otherwise just a pain.
- Patient is always telling me about her pains and problems. This
remains a significant pain to me.
- The blood workup showed no antibodies present. Need the rest of
the blood to be sure, however.
- If it weren't for the fact that the patient is dead, I would say
he was in perfect health.
-<>-
>Cats:
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are just small women in fur coats.
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
========================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
Worth Repeating -
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>Trump's Real Qualifications to be President of the USA
The 'Trumpster's' Presidential qualifications...
Obama is against Trump.................... Check
The Media are against Trump........... Check
The establishment Democrats, against Trump... Check
The establishment Republicans against Trump.. Check
The Pope is against Trump... .............Check
The UN is against Trump................... Check
The EU is against Trump................... Check
China is against Trump...................... Check
Mexico is against Trump................... Check
Vincente Fox is against Trump..........Check
Soros is against Trump...................... Check
Black Lives Matter is against Trump... Check
'Move On' is against Trump.............. Check
Koch Brothers are against Trump.... Check
G.H.Bush is against Trump ................ Check
G.W.Bush is against Trump ................ Check
Jeb Bush is against Trump ................ Check
Planned Parenthood is against Trump....Check
Hillary is against Trump.................... Check
Sanders is against Trump.................. Check
Nikki Haley is against Trump........... Check
Elizabeth Warren is against Trump. Check
Illegal aliens are against Trump ...... Check
Islam is against Trump ..................... Check
Kasich & Cruz are against Trump ... Check
Hateful, racist, violent Liberals are against Trump.. Check
NOW THAT BEING SAID...
It seems to me, Trump MUST BE the Best Qualified Candidate we
could ever have since we have so many political insiders and left
wing NUT CASES all SCARED TO DEATH that they all speak out
against him at the same time!
Most of all, this election will be The People's Choice...
PLUS
He's not a Lifetime Politician......Check
He's not a Lawyer..........................Check
He's not doing it for the money...Check
He's a Natural Born, American, Citizen born in the USA from
American parents.
Bonus points!
Whoopi says she will leave the country...
Rosie says she will leave the country...
Sharpton says he will leave the country...
Cher says she will leave the country...
Cyrus says she will leave the country...
Gov. Brown says California will build a wall...
Mr. Trump says he will pay for their tickets.
The Constitution and the Bill of Rights will prevail....
Hillary will go to jail.....
The budget will be balanced in 8 years....
Americans will have first choice at jobs.....
You will not be able to marry your pet....
You will be able to keep your gun(s) if you qualify...
(Not a criminal, etc.)
Only Live Human American Registered Citizens can vote....
You can have and keep your own Doctor.....
You can say what you want without being called a racist....
Protesters are being paid to hold rally's where Trump is giving
Speeches - He's not even President yet and already he's creating
jobs!
Vote for the Donald! Tell the RINO's to kiss off!
---
...LOL! Sounds good to me! Thanks PatDeE!
Check out..
Why Trump?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whytrump.html
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
AFA Latest
http://www.afa.net/
Star Spangled Banner (Suppressed) | Musical Targets™
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKmZ_XDrlXs
>Rush Reveals Reason Obama Says “ISIL” Instead of “ISIS”
and It’s Utterly Sickening
http://conservativetribune.com/rush-reveals-reason-obama-isil/
>All The News:
Right Alerts
http://rightalerts.com/
American Action News
http://americanactionnews.com/articles/aan-news-alert-fbi-grills-hillary
American Action News
http://americanactionnews.com/
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
With Independence Day coming up in a couple of days I
thought you might find this bizarre bit of American history
interesting. Our venerable national anthem 'The Star-Spangled
Banner' is really a 250-year-old drinking song from England.
They knew how to rock it out back then.
The original version was called 'To Anacreon in Heaven'
and was usually sung by The Anacreontic Society of London.
It was sort of like their theme song.
What was The Anacreontic Society? It was a bunch of lawyers,
doctors and other well-to-do professionals who enjoyed music,
literature, poetry, and more importantly, boozing. They
named themselves after the famous, ancient Greek poet
Anacreon who liked to write about women and boozing. Go
figure.
They would get together periodically, read each other poems
they had written and sing popular songs they all enjoyed and
drink themselves half insensible. Oh, and they did other
things as a society, like present concerts and operas.
Not surprisingly, this kind of club became popular, and so
did the theme song. It spread right across the Atlantic
where, in the much more rural colonies, it became more about
the boozin' and singin' than about organizing concerts for
the well-to-do.
50-some-odd years later Francis Scott Key was watching the
Brits bomb the hell out of Fort McHenry in Baltimore during
the War of 1812. He was so inspired by the fort's indomitable
defense that he wrote the poem 'Defense of Fort McHenry'.
Later, Key gave the poem to his brother-in-law who saw that
the words fit perfectly with melody of an oldie but goodie
that was still popular around the fledgling country, perhaps
hoping that because of its age nobody would remember that
the song was originally British. Thus was born 'The Star-
Spangled Banner'.
Think about that the next time you're singing the national
anthem.
-<>-
A woman was arrested on a charge of drunk driving after
allegedly driving drunk with a dead body that crashed into
the windshield of her car during a hit and run, according
to police in California.
Oceanside police said that they have arrested 29-year-old
Esteysi Sanchez Izazaga, after being accused of hitting and
killing a man with her car.
Izazaga was charged with drunk driving, vehicular
manslaughter and hit-and-run. She was booked into the Vista
County jail, and her bail was set at $130,000.
According to the police investigation, witnesses reported
seeing a man walking on the sidewalk when he was hit by the
suspect's car.
Izazaga allegedly drove her car onto the sidewalk and hit
the man at random. Because of her speed, the victim flew
into the windshield and landed in the front passenger seat.
One of the man's legs separated from his body and flew
through the back window, landing on the trunk of the car.
Izazaga continued driving about a mile. She then parked her
car in a dead end street and walked away. Witnesses called
police, who found Izazaga a few blocks away.
*----- This Is How You Blow a Job Interview -----*
A Kentucky man attempted to rob a local Chuck E. Cheese
while participating in a job interview. Police Lt. Andrew
Daughtery told the Lexington Herald-Leader that the manager
of the Chuck E. Cheese said the man came into the Lexington
location to get a job application at 2 p.m. and returned at
4 p.m. for an interview. Daughtery said the man announced
that he wanted to rob the restaurant and implied that he
had a firearm. The manager reportedly told the man that he
did not have access to the safe and advised the would-be
robber to leave the premises. Police said the man apologized
to Chuck E. Cheese employees and began to cry. Police
continued their search for the unidentified man and hoped to
track him down with the information provided in his interview
if it was truthful.
*-- Police Break Down Door to Rescue Doll --*
Police in Amsterdam said they kicked down the door to an
apartment to rescue a woman who turned out to be an
inflatable love doll. Amsterdam police said officers were
called to the apartment by neighbors who reported looking
into the apartment's window and seeing a woman standing
motionless for a long period of time. Officers spotted the
woman, dressed only in her underwear, standing at the
window and not moving despite them ringing the doorbell and
knocking on the door. The officers broke through the door
to the apartment and "indeed found a lifeless woman," but
she was "made of plastic and filled with air," the report
said. Officers moved the blow-up doll away from the window
to prevent further confusion from onlookers.
*---------- Like a Rhinestone Cowboy... ----------*
A horse-riding cowboy leading a second horse by the reigns
caused a major traffic jam Monday by riding over a busy New
York bridge. A video shows the man, dressed in western garb,
riding a horse and leading a second equine by the reigns
while crossing Staten Island's Outerbridge Crossing bridge
in front of a long line of backed-up traffic. "In case you're
wondering why there's traffic on the Outerbridge Crossing,"
the tweet said. The man is closely followed by a Port
Authority Police Department patrol car with its emergency
lights on. A Port Authority police spokesman confirmed the
patrol car was dispatched to escort the man to the other
side of the bridge, but it was unclear whether the rider
would face any fines or trespassing charges on the other
side.
*----- It Just Needs a Little Extra Chlorine -----*
Angered over his recent eviction from a mobile home park, a
Florida man carrying a five gallon bucket allegedly snuck
back into the property and contaminated the community
swimming pool with a vile slurry that "had the appearance of
liquid feces" according to police. Thomas Lee Mason, 54,
targeted the Embassy Mobile Home Park late Thursday night.
Witnesses said they saw Mason, bucket in hand, entering the
Clearwater park, though he had "no legitimate business"
there. Mason, police charge, was spotted "entering the pool
area with the bucket and then leaving the area with the same
bucket." Investigators have charged Mason with "pouring an
unknown dark colored substance that had the appearance of
liquid feces/diarrhea" into the pool. Cops estimated that
it would cost $300 in chemicals and cleaning supplies to
disinfect the pool. What I want to know is where the heck
he came up with five gallons?
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
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>The following are called paraprosdokians.
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part
of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous:
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive,
they'd eventually find me very attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for
freedom, until they're flashing behind you.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive,
and procrastinate all at once.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind
to blame.
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the
do-it-yourself type.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't
find it.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Money is the root of all wealth.
No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery
---
...LOL! These are fun! Thanks Linda!
======================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
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A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic
biology students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many
of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no
one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been
celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like
to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for
the test."
There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up,
walked to the front of the class, and took the professor
up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the
professor looked out over the handful of remaining students
and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those
students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in your-
selves," he said. "You all get 'A's."
-<>-
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming
to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her
sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then
answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I always
remember."
So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat... So
every year that you age, she only ages half a year?" My
co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I
guess it only works on even years."
-<>-
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they
went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation,
the first guy said, "Panty stitcher...I sew the elastic onto
women's panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it
classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week
unemployment pay.
The second guy was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he
replied.
Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave
the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he
was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his
friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled, and
diesel fitters are skilled labor."
"What skill?!" yelled the panty stitcher. "I sew the elastic,
and he pulls on it and says, "Yep, dese'll fit 'er."
-<>-
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water
mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on,
you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh
rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
-<>-
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving
relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How
many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their
hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your
husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't
remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and
text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones with another
person, and to read aloud the text message they received,
in response.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with you?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
7. You're kidding, right?
8. Don't beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for,
someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
(my favorite)
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
-<>-
A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong. While passing through
a jewish neighborhood he was surprised to see a synagogue.
He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese rabbi and a
Chinese congregation. The service was touching.
As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the door greeting
his congregants. When our Brooklyn friend came up, the
Chinese rabbi said...."You're a Jew?"
"Yes, I'm Jewish," replied the Brooklynite.
"Funny," said the Chinese rabbi. "You don't look it."
-<>-
One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to
my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor
husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me!
My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard
me say a bad word about about him?"
-<>-
>Camping Tips
Q. What equipment will I need to go camping?
A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men,
as in "a three-man tent"; this tells you how many men are
required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent
engineers. Even then, the tent will collapse under unusual
weather conditions, such as nightfall. You will also need a
hatchet, for the spiders, and a credit card, for the motel.
Q. Where should I go camping?
A. The United States has a spectacular national park system
with millions of unspoiled acres where wildlife is protected
by federal laws. Avoid these places. You want a commercial
facility with a name like "The Stop 'n' Squat Kountry Kamp-
ground," where large animals cannot fit through the 6-inch
gaps between the Winnebagos.
Q. How much food should I take?
A. A lot. You'll be providing food not only for your family,
but also for the entire raccoon community. When I was a boy
in rural Armonk, our garbage cans were regularly terrorized
by a gang of brilliant criminal raccoons. I recall being
awakened at 3 a.m. by loud noises and looking out the window
to see, by moonlight, my father, a peace-loving Presbyterian
minister, charging around in the bushes, wildly swinging a
baseball bat and saying non-Presbyterian words.
Of course, he did not get the raccoons; you NEVER get the
raccoons.
Q. What if I get lost?
A. If you don't have a compass, stand very still and listen
very carefully, until you hear this sound: "eh-eh-eh." That
is Canada. Whatever you do, don't go that way.
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
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>Andy Says... Just Think About This!
If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know
where you have it tied. (One of the Top Ten of One-Liners!)
Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under.
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the
complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
--Charles Mingus
Someone asked me what is it like to have three kids in three years.
I said, it is much more satisfying then the man who has three
million dollars.
How so?
Well the guy with three million wants more.
By Author Phil Callaway, Heard on Focus on the Family,
http://www.family.org/
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his
father.
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll
know as little as their parents.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
You can learn many things from children ... like how much patience
you have.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are
grossly underpaid.
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob
also turns to the left.
There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it
Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop
wood to keep the television set and computers going.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
-<>-
>YOU'RE NO LONGER "COOL" WHEN...
1. You listen to talk radio.
2. You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
3. The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
4. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
5. You actually ASK for your father's advice.
6. You don't know how to operate ipods, ipads, iphones, or computers.
7. When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surfboard.
8. You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock group, not a
corporation.
9. You turn down free tickets to a concert because you have to work
the next day.
10. You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your
kid's new running shoes.
11. When jogging is something you do to your memory.
12. Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.
13. All the cars behind you flash their headlights.
-<>-
>SEINFELD-ISMS
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't
you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished.
Why isn't it a "built"?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay
to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me?
No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did
they expect the horses to do, anyway?
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when
the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are
compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress
toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now
that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent,
but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust
them to get our clothes clean?
-<>-
>Mistletoe Hung When It's Not Christmas:
The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of
mistletoe hanging above the luggage check-in center. Turning to
the attendant he said,
"Okay, I give up. Why is the mistletoe hanging there above the
luggage scale?"
The attendant said, "So you can kiss your luggage good-bye."
-<>-
Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to
the pediatrician. I was impressed with the way the doctor directed
his comments and questions to my son.
When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are allergic to?"
Casey nodded and whispered in his ear.
Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it
to me.
Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse.
Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual
food drug interaction my son must have.
When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the
bottle.
As per the doctor's instructions, it read: "Do not take with
broccoli."
-<>-
>History Repeats Itself:
A plump gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and
topped it off with some rare Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the
headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago,
I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for
it, you had me thrown into the gutter like a veritable bum?"
"I'm very sorry sir." began the contrite headwaiter.
"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll
have to trouble you again."
-<>-
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>Truth about Children
- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the
world have nothing to do with tires.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing
home.
- Celibacy is not hereditary.
- Familiarity breeds children.
- For adult education, nothing beats children.
- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your
brain.
- Having children will turn you into your parents.
- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit
down and look comfortable.
- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
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>Military And July 4th Links:
Semper Fidelis!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/semperfi.html
Dog Warriors!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html
The Blue Angels!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blueangels.html
Fighter Aircraft!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fighteraircraft.html
Kilroy Was Here!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html
Eagle Rescue!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html
Jacob's Flag!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jacobsflag.html
Chevy: American Pride!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevypride.html
Nation's Tallest Flagpole!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flagpole.html
Military Motivational Posters!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/military.html
Freedom Isn't Free!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html
Proud Of Our Troops 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops2.html
Proud Of Our Troops 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops3.html
Proud Of Our Troops 4
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/troups4.html
Proud Of Our Troops 7
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops7.html
Humor With Our Troops 4
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor4.html
Daily With Our Troops 3
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily3.html
Liberty Air Show!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html
LCS 2 USS Independence!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lcs2.html
Ray's Freedom Rock 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock2.html
WWI Human Art!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html
-<>-
>Some Other Links:
Wall Mural Art 4!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart4.html
Whale Story 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue2.html
Thank You Lord!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thanks.html
Jesus Clinic!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html
-<>-
>Follow Me On StumbleUpOn:
http://tinyurl.com/jju6klw
-<>-
>From Our Friend Kay :)
Happy 4th Of July!
http://tinyurl.com/huu8dzv
---
...Awesome! Thanks Kay!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Enjoy! Happy 4th......let Freedom Ring!!
Did you ever wonder, if you put all 50 state flowers together in
a bouquet, what it would look like? It's truly beautiful.
"State Flowers"
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1221321706636&source=jl999
---
...Very Nice and well done! Thank You Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Karen :)
Fort McHenry & Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner PART 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UprqxlIuwg
The Star Spangled Banner Part 2 of 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY7criAA-qU&feature=related
John Wayne - America, Why I Love Her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuteyiYN6js
---
...Sweet! Most appreciated Karen!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
Legendary actor John Wayne in a clip from 1970 on the TV variety
show he hosted celebrating America’s history. Many famous actors
and actresses are featured in this video singing God Bless America
including Ann Margaret, Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, George Burns,
Johnny Cash, Roy Clark, Bing Crosby, Phyllis Diller, Lorne Greene,
Bob Hope, Forrest Lewis, Dean Martin, William Shatner, Tom
Smothers, and many more. What a classic video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OTGw03rTGs
---
...Love it! thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>From Our Friend EdLaF :)
He sent us one Snopes has checked out here...
The Joys Of Muslim Woman
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/muslimwomen.asp
---
...Sad, but true in Sharia Law! Thanks EdLaF!
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|' ; | |
|:.. . \_______ |
|::.|' , \,_____\ /
|:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;()
|::; | | ; ; | | #######::::::
/::::.|-| |_|-|, \ #######::::::
/'-=-'` '-' '--'\ #######::::::
jgs / \ #######::::::
#############
H A P P Y #############
#############
F O U R T H O F J U L Y #############
#############
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>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Toyota announced another massive recall because their
airbags can explode at any moment. Toyota then said, 'Enjoy
your holiday weekend.'" -Conan O'Brien
"The Fourth of July holiday weekend is almost upon us. The
original Brexit is the Fourth of July. It's my favorite
holiday. You don't have to wrap anything, other than bacon
around a hot dog." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A new survey found that half of all American employees have
faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a
survey." -Jimmy Fallon
"The UK officially voted to leave the European Union. It
caused the British pound to hit a 31-year low. You could
tell Brits were struggling. Today Queen Elizabeth was
wearing one of those cardboard crowns from Burger King."
-Jimmy Fallon
"In Jerusalem, renovation work is beginning on Jesus's
burial tomb. It's being listed as 'occupied by previous
owner for only three days!'" -Conan O'Brien
"A man in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is suing the TSA claiming
that overly long airport security lines caused him to miss
a flight. Seems like a strange move until you realize
there's no jury in the world that will side with the TSA."
-James Corden
"Oscar winner Helen Mirren confirmed that she will be
appearing in the eighth 'Fast and Furious' film. She'll
be playing a respected actress who needs the money."
-Conan O'Brien
"The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That's
dangerous. Experts say the best thing you can do in heat
like this is take a screen shot of the weather app and post
it to Facebook. That way if you die, you go out with some
likes." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Democrats held a big sit-in on the House floor to protest
Congress' refusal to vote on gun control. Or in other words,
Democrats were tired of Congress not getting anything done,
so they refused to get anything done until someone got some-
thing done." -Jimmy Fallon
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
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A Recipe
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