Happy Blessed Halloween! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ __, ,____) __, ,____) (--| | (--| | |__| _, _ _ |__| _ || _ _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| |(_|||(_)(_|_)(/_(/_| | ( | | ,_| ( |_, >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first red hot new page comes from our friend Geniann. This is such a heartwarming story especially knowing all the exhausting work our firefighters do for all of us keeping us as safe as they possibly can from the ravages of fire. Here was a little payback to them in a most unusual and appreciated way. Check this out here... _____ .'.---.'. // , \\ || `| || || | || || -'- || .-"`'-.,_ _,.-'`"-. / .'--,___`"""`___,--'. \ | /:////_'---'_\\\\:\ | \|:|// `_ _` \\|:|/ '-/| (6/ \6) |\-' \\ | | // `| (._.) |` | _ _ | jgs \ '---' / '--.___.--' Buttons The Elk http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buttons.html Our second too hot to handle new page is from our friends Cloie, Linda and LouiseAu. This year is record breaking for all the twists and turns of the Presidential election and cartoonist are taking full advantage of it as this page shows! There is plenty of hard hitting low blows that will bring lots of smiles and giggles to all Trump supporters! Check this one out here if you dare... I am not a crook! \ \ , | , \ / ,,_--_, \./ ,// _ _\ \./ ;;\ // x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | Humor In Politics 14! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics14.html --- ...LOL! Love these! Thanks Ladies! Those of us against Hillary figure she deserves all she gets and then some! The Clintons played a super con on us Americans and needs to pay the consequences for it! Maybe with the new reopening of her criminal behavior by the FBI she will finally be brought to justice! ======================================================= >-->Happy Halloween Short Jokes . '.'.*. .*.'.' . *. '. \ \ * * / / .' .* *._ '. \*88888 88888*/ .' _.* *._ '-. *8*___~*8*~___*8* .-' _.* * '--.8.-~` ~-Y-~ `~-.8.--' * '--.___*/ .----. .----. \*___.--' * 8| \____/ _ \____/ |8 * jgs '---.|\ / \ /.---' ||'-----' '-----' || || || || || || || |/ Q: Which ghost is the best dancer? A: The Boogie Man! For Halloween I'm going to write "Life" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers. Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations! Q: When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? A: On Fry Day Q: What's a monsters favorite desert? A: I-Scream! Q: What do you call a dancing ghost? A: Polka-haunt-us Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A: A "hollow-weenie!" Q: Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? A: The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes). Q: How do you write a book about Halloween? A: With a ghostwriter. I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her." __.......__ .-:::::::::::::-. .:::''':::::::''':::. .:::' `:::' `:::. .'\ ::' ^^^ `:' ^^^ ':: /`. : \ :: _.__ __._ :: / ; : \`: .' ___\ /___ `. :'/ ; : /\ (_|_)\ /(_|_) /\ ; : / .\ __.' ) ( `.__ /. \ ; : \ ( { } ) / ; : `-( . ^"^ . )-' ; `. \ .'<`-._.-'>'. / .' `. \ \;`.';/ / .' jgs `._ `-._ _.-' _.' .'`-.__ .'`-._.-'`. __.-'`. .' `. .' `. .' `-. .-' `. Q: Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A: He was all bite and no bark. Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: At the casketeria. Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A: A stake sandwich... Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash? A: They have bat breath... Q: How many vampires are in this room? A: I don't know, I can't Count Draculas. Q: What does a vampire fear most? A: Tooth decay. Q: What's a vampire's favorite fast food? A: A guy with very high blood pressure... Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A: To stop his coffin Q: What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A: A blood vessel... Q: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A: He heard it had great circulation. Q: What is a vampires favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving Q: What happened when the two vampires finally met? A: It was love at first bite! , , /(.-""-.)\ |\ \/ \/ /| | \ / =. .= \ / | \( \ o\/o / )/ \_, '-/ \-' ,_/ / \__/ \ \ \__/\__/ / ___\ \|--|/ /___ /` \ / `\ jgs / '----' \ Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A: Ghoul-aid!!! Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A: "Do you believe in people?" Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A: Anywhere where he can boo-gie. Q: What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? A: Fasten your sheet belts... Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A: Ghoul .--. / ..\ ____.' _o/ .--. '--. |.__ /.. \ _.-' /--' \ o / _.--' / / \ ~'--....___.-' / \ (/ \) ,_ | \ |`\ \ '._ \ `'-._ '._ '-. \ '-._/) `'- ,~- _.` '. '.--. jgs `-., / ..`\ .--. //'-. o / /.. \ (/ '--' \o _ (____ __.| .--' '---\ '. , '. '-.___.-'/ '-.__ _.' ````` Q: Why can't a ghost win a race? A: Because it's always dead tired. Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos. Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He is mist. Q: What does a ghost do when he's hungry? A: Go ghost-ry shopping. .--. .--. | = o\ | = o\ \= =_/ \= =_/ )= \____ )= \____ ; = _|__-\ ; = _|__-\ |= ----.\ |= ----.\ ('.==| ('.==| / \=\=\ / \=\=\ _.' /=/\=\_ _.' /=/\=\_ _jgs_..-' /__) \__)__..-' /__) \__) Q: What was the mummies' vacation like? A: Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us. Q: What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!!!!! Q: Why was the mummy so tense? A: Because he was all wound up. Q: What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A: Ok, that's a wrap. Q: Why don't mummies take vacations? A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind. Q: How do you scare a mummy A: with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy. .-. (e.e) (m) .-="=-. W // =T= \\,/ () ==|== () \ =V= M(oVo) // \\ // \\ () () \\ || jgs \' '| ==" "== Q: What do the skeletons say be for eating? A: Bone appetite Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A: He didn't have the guts. Q: When does a skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone Q: Why do skeletons drink milk? A: To help their bones! Q: What do Skeletons like to eat? A: Ribs Q: What did the witch say to the skeleton when he was lying? A: "I know your lying because I can see right through you." Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A: Sherlock Bones. / \ \ \ ,, / / '-.`\()/`.-' .--_'( )'_--. / /` /`""`\ `\ \ | | >< | | \ \ / / jgs '.__.' Q: Who are some of the were-wolves cousins? A: The what-wolves and when-wolves. Q: Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A: The whatwolves, the whowolves and the whenwolves. Q: Where do most werewolves live? A: In howllywood, California __...---""""""---...__ .:::::. _.-' '-._ .::::::::::::::::' ^^ , '-. . .:::''''::::::::' , _/(_ ^^ '. ':::' .' _/(_ {\\ , '. / {\\ /;_) _/(_ \ / , /;_) =='/ <===<<< {\\ \ / _/(_ =='/ <===<<< \__\ , /;_) \ / {\\ \__\ , `` _/(_=='/ <===<<< \ ; /;-) `` _/(_ {\\ \__\ ; | =='/ <===<<< {\\ /;_) `` | | \__\ /;_) =='/ <===<<< , | | `` , =='/ <===<<< \__\ _/(_ | | _/(_ \__\ , `` {\\ | | {\\ `` _/(_ /;_) | ; /;_) {\\ =='/ <===<<<; \ =='/ <===<<< /;_) \__\ / \ \__\ , =='/ <===<<< `` / \ `` _/(_ \__\ / .::::. \ {\\ `` .:::::::.::::::::.. '. ^^ /;_) .::::.. :::::::::::::''::::::' '. =='/ <===<<< .:::::::::.::::::::::::' `'` '-._ \__\ .:' `'::::::::::::' '-.__ `` __.-''jgs:' `"""---....---"""` Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling Q: What do u get when there's a witch in the desert? A: You get a sandwich. Q: What do witches get at hotels? A: Broom service Q: What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Halloween? A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight. Q: Who was the most famous witch detective? A: Warlock Holmes ___ \--/ .' `"-._ Since this is the time /`-' '-`\ / , `'-_.-. for goblins and bats, / \ / /`'. ,' _ | /.'|/\ /\|'.\ `-' `-. ,' ,'\\/ \/ \, ,' ee`-. Halloween spirits and / ./ ,(_ \ , ghosts and cats, (_/\\\ \__|`--' || ///\\| \ || ////||-./`-.} .--|| Weird happenings and / `-.__.-`_.-.| witches brew, | '._,-'`|___} `; / '. |/ || ,;'` | '.__,.-` || ':, These are the things | | || ,;' I wish for you: / / _,.||oOoO.,_ | | \-.O,o_O..-/ / / / \ May the only ghost | / / \ that comes to stay, | | | , | / | \ ) ( ) / Be the Holy Ghost jgs | \ ,'.(:, ),: (_.'. to guide your way. / /'.' ="`""="="=="= '. `'"---'-.__.'"""` ` "" "" `"" ,, , ,, ,\\//, .--') ,\\//, ,\\\///, ,, / / May the only spirit ,\\\///, \\\\//// ,\\//, | / you chance to meet, \\\\//// \\\/// ,\\\///, /'.\ (_.'\ \\\/// ###### \\\\//// \ / ###### ////\\\\ \\\/// '--. .---' Be the spirit of love ////\\\\ /////\\\\\###### ( " ) and warm friends sweet, /////\\\\\//////\\\\////\\\\ '-' //////\\\\\\/,///\\\/////\\\\\ _ ///////\_?_\\(_) //////\\\\\\, ( \ May the only tricks .'`---`'. _j_/////\\\\\(_) ) ) you are /.'a a \.'`---`'. jgs ( ( .-""-. A.-.A asked to do, |: ^ /.'d\ /b \ \ \/ \/ , , \ \' www |: ^ | \ \ =; t /= '._____.'\' VVV / \ |"". ',--' Be the trick '._____.' / // | || of getting /_,)) |_,)) a friend or two. FULL Halloween Index: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 31 is Carve a Pumpkin Day, Halloween and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day November 1 is All Saint's Day, All Soul's Day, and Deviled Egg Day November 2 is Look for Circles Day and Plan Your Epitaph Day November 3 is Housewife's Day, Men Make Dinner Day and Sandwich Day November 4 is King Tut Day November 5 is Book Lovers Day, Gunpowder Day and Guy Fawkes Day November 6 is Marooned without a Compass Day and Saxophone Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,-~-, ,-~~~~-, /\ /\ (\ / ,-, \ ,' ', / ~~ \ \'-' / \ \ / _ # <0 0> \ '--' \ \/ .' '. # = Y =/ \ / \ \ `#-..!.-' \ \ \ `\ \\ ) /> / \ \\ / /`/ /`__ \ \\__ jgs (____)))_))) \__))) >Exercise Machine My husband bought an exercise machine to help him shed a few pounds. He set it up in the basement but didn't use it much, so he moved it to the bedroom. It gathered dust there, too, so he put it in the living room. Weeks later I asked how it was going. "I was right," he said. "I do get more exercise now. Every time I close the drapes, I have to walk around the machine." -<>- >Artistic Worth An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor." -<>- >New Sister Five-year-old Christine, an only child, spent the day playing next door with two girls who were sisters. When Christine came home, she told her parents, "I want a baby sister so bad. Please can I get one?" Her parents looked at each other and laughed. Mom said, "A sister would be fun." "But if we have another baby it could be a boy," added Dad. Christine thought a moment and said, "Never mind. It isn't worth the risk." -<>- >Divorce Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working and filed for divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied, "In the five weeks that we've been together we haven't been able to agree on a single thing." The judge asked the wife, "Have you anything to say?" "It's been SIX weeks your Honor." -<>- >Marine Inspection As a Marine Captain stationed in Okinawa, Japan, I was accompanying the assistant commandant on his inspection of the troops. To break the silence, the general would ask some of the Marines standing at attention which outfit they were serving with. Ramrod straight, each would respond, "Marine Air Group 36, sir," or "Second Marine Division, General." But near the end of the inspection, when the general asked a young private, "Which outfit are you in?" The young Marine replied, "Dress blues, sir, with medals!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .--. .-, .-..-.__ .'(`.-` \_.-'-./` |\_( "\__ __.>\ '; _;---,._| / __/`'--) /.--. : |/' _.--.<| / | | _..-' `\ /' /` /_/ _/_/ >_.-``-. `Y /' _;---.`|/)))) '` .-''. \|: \.' __, .-'"` .'--._ `-: \/: /' '.\ _|_ /.'`\ :; /' `- `-|-` -` | | | :.; : | .-'~^~`-. |: | .' _ _ `. |:. | | |_) | |_) | :. : | | | \ | | | .jgs. : ; | | -."-/\\\/:::. `\."-._'."-"_\\-| |///."- " -."-.\\"-."//.-".`-."_\\-.".-\\`=.........=`//-". >One Foggy Halloween Night... A man was walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night. Suddenly, from behind him he heard: BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! Walking faster, he looked back. Through the fog he could see an upright casket. It was banging its way down the middle of the street toward him: BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! Terrified, the man began to run home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him: BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! He ran up to his door; fumbled with his keys; opened the door and rushed in. He slammed and locked the door behind him. However, the casket crashed through the door, with the lid of the casket clapping: Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! The terrified man ran up the stairs to the bathroom and locked himself in. His heart was pounding; his head was reeling; his breath was coming in huge gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket broke down the bathroom door, bumping and clapping toward him: Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! The man screamed and reached for something, anything! His hand closed around a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he threw the cough syrup at the casket and ... the coffin stopped. --- ...HaHa! Wow! That was close! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- |\-/| =( )= / \ | | / \ _\ _/._ .' `))` '. / (( , \ ; , \) , ; ; /c\ , /c\ | | /_\ | | |\ , , , , /| | \ \_`.`.`.`.`_/ / jgs '.____.___.____.' >GOLF CADDY QUOTES. Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long." Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth." Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir." Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to." Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!" Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day of the week!" Golfer: "This golf is a funny game." Caddy: "It's not supposed to be." Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old." Caddy: "It's a long time since we started, sir." Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?" Caddy: "Eventually." Golfer (screaming): "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" Caddy: "I doubt it. That would be too much of a coincidence!" --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! See Humor With Golf for more: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html -<>- __,,, _.--' / .-' / .' | .' / /_____________| /`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/ /` / ____,....----'/_________________|---....,___ ,--""` `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` `""--, `'----------------.----,------------------------,-------'` _,'.--. \ \ .' (o ) \ | c , '--' | / / )'-. \ / | .-; \ | \_/ |___,' | .-' .---.___|_ | / ( ` | .--' '. __,-'\ .' `'-----'` jgs \ __.' `-..--'` >Walking Eagle Hillary Clinton was recently invited to speak in front of a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in upstate New York. She spoke for nearly an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American’s standard of living. She talked about her experience as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate. Despite Hillary being vague about the details of her plans, she seemed enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about her ideas for helping her “red sisters and brothers”. At the end of her speech, the Tribes presented Hillary with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” Honored and happy with how everything went, Hillary then left to go to a fund raiser, smiling and waving to the crowd from her motorcade. A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to choose the new name they had given to Mrs. Clinton. They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to an old bird so full of it, it can no longer fly. --- ...Teehee! They nailed it! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- /'. .'\ \( \__/ )/ ___ / (.)(.) \ ___ _.-"`_ `-.| ____ |.-` _`"-._ .-'.-'//||`'-.\ V--V /.-'`||\\'-.'-. `'-'-.// || / .___. \ || \\.-'-'` `-.||_.._| |_.._||.-' \ (( )) / jgs '. .' `\/` >School Jokes TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ----- JASON: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? JASON: Your name on this report card. ----- FATHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. ----- TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! ----- TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. MATT: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet. ----- TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. --- ...HaHa! Good Ones! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- o o-'*'-o \*\|/*/ .-'---'-. / \ | .---, | | / e e \ | \| ^ |/ ()._-_.() ,/\'._.'/\. / \/ \/ \ | ^^_____^^ | |oOO` `OOo| \| '._____.' |/ | | | TRICK | | or | \ TREAT / '._______.' |_ | _| \ | / \_|_/ jgs /--T--\ (__/ \__) >God.... a kid's point of view 1. Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda 2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce 3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet 4. Dear God, If we come back as somebody else, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton- because I hate her. Denise 5. Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend, (I am not going to tell you who I am). 6. Dear God, I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison 7. Dear God, How did you know you were God? Who told you? Charlene 8. Dear God, Is it true my Father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita 9. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nan 10. Dear God, Did you really mean, Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You? If you did then I'm going to get even with my brother. Darla 11. Dear God, I like the story about Chanukah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. Glenn 12. Dear God, My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love, Dennis 13. Dear God, Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does? Nan 14. Dear God, It's O.K. that you made different religions but don't you get mixed up sometimes? Arnold 15. Dear God, Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma 16. Dear God, In bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer 17. Dear God, What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you had everything you wanted. Jane 18. Dear God, How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now? Seymour 19. Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter 20. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry 21. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget. Mark 22. Dear God, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways before I cross the street. Dean 23. Dear God, My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say? Marsha --- ...So cute! Thanks LouiseAu :) For the full of this one see: Notes to God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cnotes.html ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Couldn't have said it better myself - PHIL ROBERTSON FULL INTERVIEW WITH NEIL CAVUTO (10/29/2016) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-TZGICFB1o All the latest from Right Alerts http://rightalerts.com/ All The Latest from MRC http://em.mrc.org/CBq0090AY0UR0LK60d01S08 All The Latest from MRCtv http://em.mrc.org/kR0sY0L00Uq00BKd610T80S -<>- >From BizarreNews: A Maine man clad in a tree costume was arrested when he blocking traffic after being told by police to stay out of the street. Police said Asher Woodworth, 30, donned a tree costume reminiscent of a camouflage ghillie suit Monday and wandering into a busy downtown Portland intersection. Woodworth stopped traffic and drew attention as he slowly inched his way across the crosswalk, and he was soon joined by a pair of police officers who escorted him to the other side. "All right, get out of the road or you're going to get arrested," one officer said. The police officers told the man he was free to go with a warning to stay out of the street. "I'll accept your silence as you understand. You're free to go," an officer says. The man wandered back into the street moments later and was arrested. "His motivation was to see how people would react to what he called his 'performance' and how he might impact 'people's natural choreography,'" Assistant Police Chief Vern Malloch told the Portland Press Herald. "It happens from time to time," Malloch said. "People do bizarre things because they want to get arrested. We're still not sure if he was trying to make a statement." Woodworth was charged with obstructing a public way and released on $60 bail. -<>- A woman was found with an unclasped bra and open shirt after crashing into a police car. Police in Texas, said that a college student was arrested after crashing into a police car while trying to get dressed after sending topless photos to her boyfriend. 19-year-old Miranda Kay Rader was driving in Bryan around 8:30 p.m., when she rear-ended a police car that was parked outside a home, where officers were investigating a disturbance. Police officer John Sartell said that he heard the crash and ran to his car, where he found that Rader's SUV hit his patrol vehicle. The officer said that he found the Texas A&M university student with an unclasped bra and trying to put her top on. Sartell asked the teenager why she was topless, and she replied that she was sending Snapchat pictures to her boyfriend while she was waiting at a red light, according to the police report. During a further search of the car, Sartell found an open bottle of wine in the center console. Rader admitted to police that she had been drinking with her friend before driving. She was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated with an open container. She also received a ticket for being a minor in possession of alcohol. *-- Man Burning Weeds with Torch Starts House Fire --* Authorities say a man using a blow torch to burn weeds started a fire that spread up a wall and into the attic of his home. Fire Capt. Barrett Baker says the man discovered the fire when he smelled smoke about an hour after he used the torch. Baker says flames in the attic were visible through a vent on the side of the home and that one crew of firefighters pierced the home's tile roof to put water on the fire the fire. Meanwhile, another crew on the ground sprayed water at the fire through the vent. No damage estimate is immediately available but the three people who live in the home were displaced and went to stay with relatives. *----- Beer; Is There Anything It Can't Do? -----* A judge was charged with bribery after being accused of offering beer and cash to a police officer in exchange for his wife's text messages, according to police in North Carolina. Superior Court Judge Arnold Ogden Jones II was found guilty of bribery and other charges in connection with the bribery attempt of the police officer. According to the police investigation, the judge suspected that his wife was cheating, and he wanted to get his hands on the text messages of her cellphone. The Wayne County police officer, who is also an FBI agent, reported that the judge offered him beer and $100 to get the text messages. The judge vowed to seek reelection despite being convicted of bribery. The judge is facing up to 37 years in prison and up to $750,000 in fines. *-- You Don't Have To Go Home But You Can't Stay Here --^ A bar employee was arrested on a charge of assault after allegedly shooting a customer who refused to leave, according to police in Tennessee. Nashville police said that they have arrested the bar employee, who was not identified, for using his gun to shoot the customer after closing time. According to the criminal complaint, police officers were called to the Kat's Bar and Grille around 1:00 a.m. on Friday, on a report of a dispute. Witnesses at the scene told police that the dispute broke out when the customer refused to leave following closing time. The employee pulled out his gun and fired a shot. The bullet grazed the client's face. The employee left the scene before police arrived. Officers went to his home, where he was arrested. *--------------- That'll Show Him ---------------* 57-year-old Glenda Blackwell of North Carolina bought a $10 Carolina Millions scratch-off ticket after her husband asked her to buy two Powerball tickets. Blackwell said she got the Carolina Millions to teach him a lesson about wasting money on the lottery. "I was going to be ugly and buy a scratch- off to show him they didn't hit," Blackwell said. "Sometimes I get aggravated with him, so I tell him, 'You're just wasting your money.'" Instead of losing $10, Blackwell hit the jackpot, winning $1,000,000. "I had to eat my words, but they were worth eating," she said. "So I was very happy." After taxes, she received a lump sum of $415,503. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _...----. .' .-'` ,''--..; / | _______/________|_______ `-----/// _\ /_ \\\-----` .---./ / o\/o \ \.---. <(_ /// \__/\__/ \\\ _)> _.---. '-. // oo \\ .-' .' .__`\ o /// __..--..__ \\\ / \`\| o-'*'-o //| '\/\/\/\/' |\\ / ; ' \*\|/*/ ;--. """" .-; | _ _ | .-'---'-. / \|||-....(|||`\ | (o) (o) | / \ /\ /\|/ | | .---, |/ \ / ; ' | | / e e \ | '. .' | '-. \ \| ^ |/ '---' | \_ ()._-_.() T R I C K | .._.----/` \ ,/\'._.'/\. ' . | / ``"-/||\ \ / \/ \/ \ O R | | `7, | ^^_____^^ | | . /// _ | |oOO` `OOo| T R E A T ; |' / |_) _ | \| '._____.' |/ / \-| |_)/ \ _ | |:: | '.__ __,; `| \_// \ | |:: | ````` | | \_/ ; |:: | | \ / \::. /_____________| ``'--..___/ '._______.' '-| | |-' | |_ | _| | | | __.-; \ | / /-._|_.-\ \ \_|_/ /`'-.|.-'`\ / jgs /--T--\ / .'. \'-..____.---''''`` (__/ \__) \____/ \___/ If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free....you either married it or gave birth to it. -<>- [This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...] A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been. After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'." So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared." At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!" -<>- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last week we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'That's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' -<>- Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves." -<>- THE MODERN TOOLBOX: Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself. Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver. Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka. Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install. Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels. Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself. Halogen Light - A worklight that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway. Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool. Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911. Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-laws nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house. Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself. Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice. -<>- A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel and, because he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk and went immediately to eat. After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten his room number. He went back to the desk and told the clerk on duty, "My name is Henry Davis, can you please tell me what room I am in?" "Certainly," said the clerk. "You're in the lobby." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) '. `~~`~`~~^`~~`~^~^`~~`~~`~^~`. .` / `> ' . ' ". _ '-"` . ` ' . | . ' / .' ,'~^~^~^`^~~^`^~`~~~^~~~^; ' ' | .-' \ ` : ` . "|_ | | , | : | \ | " ` | \ | , : | | /~--,__ | ` , | \__,--~' ("-,_ |" ` | `, | / "-,_"-,|, _ , |__/ "-,| \\______/ \ |, | / _\___/ \ /| " \ \/\ || \ / | \ \,|| \ __.--~\ |` ` \__/ || ),_ `~--.__/ | , | :/ \ /-,_"-,_ __ \ | `, /=,'/ (' `-,_"-,/_ /~=,_ \_| | __/=/ | \ "-/-,//~=,_~=,_ / |` (__ / (' \ \_//_~=,_~=, / \\______// \ ) '=,_~=,_~= / ___/_ \ | .| `\__( ~=,_~ / | /\/ /" | _.( | ./ / | __ _.-"_.-\ /|_ \__/ ' '| _.=~\ _\.-"_.-' `) \ \: | . | _.=~_.=~\\.-\-" / `.=\ .' | .=~_.=~_\\_/ / | \=\__ | | =~_.=~_.=` ( `) \ __) '| ~_.=~ )__/'| ' " '| | . " | ' .| '-"_'"-'_"'-_'"-_''_"-"-_"-\ \/' ' . '`\/"/- '"-_-"'_ _-"'__-"'_ -_ --"-"_jgs_""-_'"--"'_-"-'\\/.\\' / /"".\,//\//'-"-_'"-"'_'"-"''"-"'_ -"-'_-"_-"-_"-"'_'-"-"_``"-`"_`'""-`''""'-_'"-"-_"'"- '"- _'"- _ >RETIREMENT OPTIONS... You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where…* 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your ass from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. * OR * You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 5. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. * OR * You can retire to New York City where... 1. You say “the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 5. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. * OR * You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup... 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas. 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole. 4. Revealing Lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair. * OR * You can retire to The Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder". * OR * You can retire to Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. * OR * You can retire to the Nebraska where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at. * OR * FINALLY you can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist. 4. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Farmers Gone Wild! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/farm.html Dog Warriors!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html Halloween Cakes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hcakes.html Extreme Noodling!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noodling.html Tricks For Treats 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats3.html Texas Outhouse Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html Crop Circle Mystery!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery.html Why Dogs Bite People!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html Moon Photography Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonart.html Texas Rules Of Etiquette!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.html Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/barns.html Celebrities: The Long And Short Of It!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities2.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Extreme Pumpkin Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin2.html --- ...Love these! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) 5 year old amazing dancers - must see this wonderful dance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJl6NRgTom0 10 Crazy Commercials From The 60's - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-_i2I3lpF4 --- ...Wow! Fun to watch! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Magician Rich Ferguson performs his Halloween head drop trick on the streets of San Luis Obispo in California. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsL_JDtVbww Magician Dani Lari performs scary Halloween magic for the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret' hosted by Patrik Sebastien. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8qwgV2B0WM --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "There is a new bike lock that prevents theft by releasing a gas that makes a robber throw up if they cut the lock. So, the good news is: Your bike wasn't stolen. The bad news: It's covered in robber vomit." -Conan O'Brien "Last night was game one of the World Series and Taco Bell did a promotion where if a player stole a base, everyone in America would get a free Doritos Locos Taco. And this is a great way for both players and fans to get a lot of runs." -James Corden "Bill Clinton is trying to figure out what his official title would be if his wife becomes president. Bill has suggested first volunteer, first dude, and first laddie. If I had a vote I would go with the first lady's man." -Jimmy Kimmel "Last Friday, Amazon, CNN, and Twitter were all down all over the United States. It's a chilling day that will one day be known in history as 'Productive Friday.'" -Conan O'Brien "President Obama last week said that this year's election is like Dante's 'Inferno.' Well that's fine, as long as it doesn't turn into a disco inferno." -Seth Meyers "One of the big stories about the Cubs is the so-called 'Curse of the Billy Goat,' which occurred back in the '40s when they turned a fan and his pet goat away because goats aren't allowed in the ballpark. Or as hot dog vendors put it, 'That's what YOU think.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job, architect. You just invented the cruise ship." -Seth Meyers "A new study shows that elected leaders don't live as long as their defeated opponents. So if there's a candidate you really don't like, vote for them." -Stephen Colbert "Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don't know; that actually might make me START smoking." -Jimmy Kimmel -<>- GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMIN' TO TOWN (Sung to the tune Santa Claus is Coming to Town) .--. Oh, you better not shriek, you better not groan, /`-'/ You better not howl, you better not moan, .----,_| (__ Great Pumpkin is coming to town! { ="""`/`""`__ `'-. /`---'`_\ /_ ' \ He's going to find out | ' / \ / \ ' | from folks that he meets, | . / _| | _\ . | Who deserves tricks and who deserves treats; | \(o/ \(o/ | Great Pumpkin is coming to town! | ,__) /\ (__, | / |\ \/ /| \ He'll search in every pumpkin patch, | | '._ _.' | | haunted houses far and near; | \ `|_| / | To see if you've been spreading gloom, | ' `\ /` ' | or bringing lots of cheer! | . \-.--/ . | \ . '--' . / So you better not shriek, you better not groan, '-...-'._ _.'-...-' You better not howl, you better not moan; jgs `` Great pumpkin is coming to town!! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************