Happy Blessed MLK Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our ShangyFunList: Group Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com :) The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $5 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our flaming hot new page is from our friends Linda and KarenF. This has plenty of eye candy from some of the world's best most stunningly beautiful creatures. Be sure to give some extra time to check this one and its videos out here... o o% // -="~\ ~\\\ \\\ \\\ );\ /|;;\ """;;;;;;;\ ///"""""""";;;;;;\ ___////+++++""""""""""""";;;@@\ __________///////++++++++++++++""""""""@@@@%) ....__/0)///0)//0)//0)/++////////++++++++++"""@@@%%%%%/ ..---0)/--------////////////////+++++++/////+++++@@%%%%%%%/ ..///---0)---0)///0)//0)///0)/////////+++++====@%%%%%%/ ...0)....//----///------////////////+++++///" \/\\// //../0)--0)///0)///0)///0)//++++///// / \/ --///--------///////////+++///// _/ / .-//..0).-/0)--0)--0)--0)--.. /\ / .......--/////////. /\_ .0)..0).. Natural Show-Offs 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/showoffs2.html --- ...Spectacular! Thanks Ladies! Our next Too Hot to handle new page is from our friend Linda. This is sure to also give you plenty of eye candy as well as put you into a very peaceful and tranquil mood. Be sure to take a few minutes and relax with this one here... ,%&& %&& % ,%&%& %&%& %& %& %&% &%&% % &% % &%% %&% &% %&%&, &%&% %&%& %& &%& % %%& %&%& %&%&% %&%%& &%&% %&% % %& &% %%& && %&% %&%& %&% %&%' '%&% %&% %&&%&%%'% % %& %& %&% &%% `\%%.' /`%&' | | /`-._ _\\/ |, |_ / `-._ ..--~`_ |; |_`\_ / ,\\.~` `-._ - ^ |;: |/^}__..-,@ .~` ~ `o ~ |;: |(____.-' '. ~ - ` ~ |;: | \ / `\ //. - ^ ~ |;: |\ /' /\_\_ ~. _ ~ - //- jgs\\/;: \'--' `---` `\\//-\\/// Beautiful Lakes Of The World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifullakes.html --- ...Awww, so pretty and serene! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: * ) `( * () * ) <^^> ( . .-""-. ) .---. ."-....-"-._ _...---''`/. ' ( (`\ \ .' ``-'' _.-"'` \ \ \ : :. .-' `\`.\: `:. _.' ( .'`.` _.' `` `-..______.-' ):. ( ."-....-". jgs .':. `. "-..______..-" A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp, a genie appeared who stated, "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said, "I'd like there to be a just and lasting peace among the people in the Middle East." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, let them ask for sensible changes before I start writing the programs and no changes after I start." Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again." -<>- ___ /_\_\ |;-^-'| ; ._ d - j :. ,<%@. |-_-| / \ {_ _,l ___/\_ _/\_ \,< ___ <~L~>\. /___\_\'/_/_`-.( `___\ \ - |` /___ \ \|/|po /||_/-___L":--;" L _ \ \ |o|LY| |(n==\^\^''--`-,-_ [-><-]=3 || ^;| |`\ _')>\ /<__/\ |< !c)|o ; |;| "| _' \ \/ /po | |- | | ; ' |,-. |.V \/ |LY | |\__, _L |o : | / \ \||\ |o^ ^| | _|/| / _\__ : / 7 '<|`. | | | / |L/ < /\: | Y \ | \|' | | | |/ /_ | | | | \| A|. | | /| |/|PO| | || | | |V| | | || |<|LY| | || | |,| | |_ | / | | ^^ | | | | | |____| |" | | | | | | | | |#^' |4 \ | | | | | | |,| | |%_| | | |m | A \ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / | / | | \ || | | | | | | / /| |__| || | | l | | |> / / | | \___/|_A_| | | | | / / | | | | || |m1a >Guys Statements and true meanings Statement: "I'm a Romantic." True Meaning: "I'm poor." Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about." True Meaning: "You're the only girl who hasn't rejected me." Statement: "I really want to get to know you better." True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it." Statement: "She's kinda cute." True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary." Statement: "I don't know if I like her." True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me." Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night." True Meaning: "Who are you?" Statement: "Do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're likely to find out." Statement: "How much do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now." Statement: "I have something to tell you." True Meaning: "Get tested." Statement: "I've been thinking a lot." True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk." Statement: "I think we should just be friends." True Meaning: "Frankly, you're ugly." Statement: "I've learned a lot from you." True Meaning: "Next!!!" Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I need to turn on my answering machine." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 18 is Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday, Thesaurus Day and Winnie the Pooh Day - the Birthday of Winnie's author A.A. Milne January 19 is National Popcorn Day and National Tin Can Day January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day, National Cheese Lover Day and Penguin Awareness Day January 21 is National Hugging Day and Squirrel Appreciation Day January 22 is National Blonde Brownie Day January 23 is National Pie Day, National Handwriting Day and Measure Your Feet Day January 24 is Beer Can Appreciation Day, Compliment Day and Global Belly Laugh Day ======================================================= >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: ,="=-. ,`'oo' \o`. ( .88 |^||^)) ) , ) ) `@ (@' (. ( ` , `C ' ) `) `-=' ,/ ._c/ `-=' ,-( `-.,')-. gpyy `( ) `' '` Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital." Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed." "No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! That I was HOMEMADE." -<>- They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen." There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your car!" -<>- Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for coffee. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!" "He said 'Will you marry me?'" Marcy asked. Heather replied, "No. He said 'Put your money away.'" -<>- Joan: Herb, if you don't stop snoring, I'm going to toss you out on your ear! John: Does it upset you that much? Joan: Not just me, the entire congregation. -<>- Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. "Sam, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any younger," says the doctor. "Who asked you to make me younger?" says Sam. "You just make sure I get older!" ========================================================= >-->Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! :) ,----------------. ( It's a thought `------------. > Just a thought and nothing ) ( but a thought... )-----' `---( )------' `-----(_)--' 0 o Ojo >A great Man Of God, Martin Luther King, Jr. Quotes: Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. We are not makers of history. We are made by history. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for that which is right. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice. A man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true. Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. I am not unmindful of the fact that violence often brings about momentary results. Nations have frequently won their independence in battle. But in spite of temporary victories, violence never brings permanent peace. Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think. I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair... even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow. Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together. I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/martin-luther-king-jr-quotes ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ______ _\ _~-\___ = = ==(____AA____D \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._ / o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_ `~-.__ ___..----.. ) `---~~\___________/------------````` = ===(_________D -Roland >SMILES Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy". Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy". ---------- An urgent call was put in for a plumber at noon but he didn't arrive until 5 hours later. "How bad is it?" he asked entering the house. "Not so bad," replied the home owner. "While we were waiting for you to arrive, I taught my wife how to swim." ---------- A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked. "No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need." "Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?" she asked. ----------- At her next checkup, the new doctor told 80 year old lady to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?" "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks... And believe me, it helps me sleep at night. ---------- A husband and wife were having a petty argument and both were unwilling to admit they might be in the wrong. In an attempt to reconcile, the wife said, "I'll admit I'm wrong, if you'll admit I'm right." The husband agreed and, being a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," the wife said. "You're right!" the husband replied, with a twinkle in his eye. ---------- [\ .----' `-----. //^^^^;;^^^^^^`\ _______//_____||_____()_\________ /826 : : ___ `\ |> ____; ; |/\><| ____ _<) {____/ \_________________/ \____} \ '' / \ '' / jgs '--' '--' An Arab enters a taxi. Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel’s and certainly no radio. So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door. The Arab asks him: “What are you doing man?” The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So please get out and wait for your camel.” ---------- It was World War II, and the captain was attempting to rally the GIs on the eve of a big offensive. 'Out there,' said the captain, 'is your enemy. The man who has made your life miserable, who is working to destroy you; the man who has been trying to kill you day after day throughout this war.' Private Johnson jumped to his feet. 'My gosh; the cook's working for Hitler!'? ---------- My boss' son is five years old. He attended his first funeral with his family. I saw him on Sunday and asked him what he thought of it. His answer, "She was already dead when we got there." ---------- We took our small daughter to the funeral home to view her great- grandmother. She asked, "Why did they put Great-grandma in a jewelry box?" ---------- I took Allison to the doctor for her 2-year-old check. They had her do coordination tests, like stacking blocks, and they watch and see if they walk properly. And then the doctor said, "Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?" So she walked over and stood on his foot. ---------- My son has a pet iguana, and he took it to school to show some of the other kids. If you've ever seen an iguana, they have a large flap of skin that hangs down from their neck, and it's called dewlap. The kids were asking what it was, and he explained, and a little girl in his class said, "Oh! My grandma has one of those." ---------- A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature had to suffer so that you can have this." Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks --- ...Oh My! HaHaHAHA! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | >What Mothers of the Famous May Have Said: HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!" MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?" BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple." GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?" LITTLE MISS MUFFET''S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!" ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?" GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!" JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days." SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?" THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn that light off and get to bed!" MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR's MOTHER: Martin, will you please stop sitting around dreaming and get busy cleaning up your room like I told you to? --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >Thank you Mr. President My days on earth are numbered; But before I fade away, there is something important I need to say. It may not be important to anyone else; but it's important to me. Win, lose or fraud... President Trump. I just want to say thank you for the last four years. Thank you for making it cool to be an American again. Thank you for showing us that we don’t need to be under China’s thumb anymore economically, or any other way. Thank you for one of the strongest economies we’ve ever experienced in my lifetime. Thank you for all you have done for the minority communities, and the outstanding decrease in the unemployment rate you had. Thank you for making it feel good to love our country and to be a proud patriot again. Thank you for supporting our Nation's flag and the men and women who fought for the freedom that stands behind that flag. Thank you for supporting our nation's law enforcement organizations, and understanding how difficult their job really is. Thank you for quelling the flood of illegal immigration, and bringing to justice the thousands of criminals that flood brought us. Thank you for giving corporations a reason to come back to America to make our own products and put Americans back to work. Thank you for bringing our troops home from endless deployments that presented us with little more than body bags; and for your commitment to strengthen our military. Thank you for operation warp speed and keeping your promise to bringing the Covid 19 vaccine to us in less than a year. Thank you for your never-ending attempts at bringing Peace to the Middle East and your support for Israel. Thank you for your Tax relief, and thank you for our energy independence. Most of all though... THANK YOU for taking a darn rotten job that you never had to take!! Thank you for caring enough for this country to want to try and make a difference. Thank you for showing America how little Career Politicians actually work for their constituents; and for showing us how much those politicians despise you for showing America how easy it is to build a great nation, rather than rape her to line their own pockets and stock portfolios. Thank you for allowing us to experience a President that wasn’t a lifelong politician, but a lifelong American. THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT..... YOU DID YOUR BEST.... Now it's time to rid Washington of all the SOCIALIST DEMOCRATS THAT WANT TO SELL OUT TO CHINA. --- ...Absolutely! Thsnk you LouiseAu! I'd add a few things myself... Thank you Mr. President for bringing GOD back to our schools, towns and country. Giving God the glory at every one of your rallies and speeches. Your stand on religious freedom has been the best of any President in recent times! https://tinyurl.com/yafvp4wb Thank you for reminding us we are Americans. We are all in this together and we all bleed the same color! You have proven over and over how much you love and support every single one of us no matter our gender, religion or race. Uplifting all our classes so we can unite in one voice to praise God for our Country! Thank You Pres. Donald J. Trump for doing all of this for US: https://www.whitehouse.gov/trump-administration-accomplishments/ ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: ___________________________________________________________________________ | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| |; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| |; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| |; ||==========||==========||=============||=============||;_; ; ___ ; ;_; | |\;|| || || || ||/_\; / \ ;/_\;| |= || ~() || ~() ||_____________||_____________||=|= | // | =|= | | ;|| || || || || || || ; ;| |; ; ;| |; || || || || |:] |:] ||; ; ;\___/; ; ; | |==|| ..||.. || ..||.. || || ||================| | || //"II"\\ || //"II"\\ || ~:|| ~:|| ___/___ | | || || '' || || || '' || || || || / .-T|T-. \ | | || || || || || || || || || /_'-------'_\ | | || ||____|| || ||____|| |:] |:] || | ___ ___ | | | || \____/ || \____/ ||_____________||_____________|| | | | | | | | || || || \| |/ || \| |/ || | | {|} | | | '--||-.------.-||-.------.-||-.---|_|---.-||-.---|_|---.-||-| | | | |--' ||/________\||/________\||/___________\||/___________\lc |_|___|___|_| With hand sanitizer now standard equipment for every man, woman and child it's a good idea to know what the stuff can actually do besides kill germs! Frozen locks? Squirt a little hand sanitizer on them. The isopropyl alcohol that kills germs also lowers the freezing point of water, and can melt the ice inside the lock within seconds. -<>- How have I never thought of trying this... Slicing meat to grind or cook in a stir-fry can be tricky even with the sharpest knife. To make it easier, place the meat in the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes to stiffen it up. Slicing and dicing the meat is a breeze! -<>- If you can't live without your dishwasher, then at least cut the pre-rinse. With a decent detergent, your dishes will be just as clean and you can save an average of twenty gallons of water per load. -<>- Do yourself a favor and pick up a plant! Potted plants are not only good for sprucing up your home, but they can help keep you and your family healthy! House plants lower levels of indoor air pollutants that can cause everything from headaches to being tired all the time. What are the healthiest greens? Try buying bromeliad, dracaena, or a jade plant. To experience the healing perks these plants have to offer. consider placing it in the rooms you spend most of your time in. --- ...Keep an aloe vera potted plant in your kitchen window. The aloe vera plant is an easy care plant. The thick leaves are useful as the juice from them can be used to help heal and relieve pain from minor sunburns, scrapes, cuts and burns when applied directly to the wound. Great First-Aid plant. :) -<>- . !__________! . _______ /_\ |____ ____| /_\ |__*__| __|__ {____}{____} __|__ |__*__| __|_*_|__%%%%%%%%%%%%__|_*_|__|__*__|__ | | %%%%%%%%%%%%%% | | |/ \| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% /||||||||||||||||||||\ ||||||||||||||||||lc|| >Try warming up your blanket I have not tried this, but you can bet your bottom I'm trying it tonight. Pop your blanket in the dryer for 5 minutes right before you head to bed. It's suppose to help you drift off to 'la la' land minutes sooner, and you sleep more deeply. --- ...A trick the nurse uses at the hospital if the patient is complaining of being cold. Worked for me! :) -<>- It's kind of remarkable how some things we touch daily, we rarely clean - your purse is one of those items. More than half of all women's bags have fecal bacteria on them, so give it a swipe with a disinfectant wipe. Antibacterial Wipes are textured wipes that power through tough messes and can effectively kill 99.9% of common germs and bacteria like Staph, and Strep and viruses that cause cold and flu including Human Coronavirus and Influenza A2 Virus. Perfect when soap and water aren't handy. -<>- , ."". , , # |()| # , _#_#___|__|___#_#__ [__________________] |-_ -=__=-_ -==_-| |_.------------.=| |=| o o |=| _|-| ! `( ! |-|_ /==_| ! _(_.)_ ! |=_-\ |jgs|/^\^=^^=^/^\| _=| It's time to bust out the hot cocoa and the extra afghans because it's frigid cold today here in the Chicago area! As if the freezing cold wasn't bad enough, but typically that means energy bills will spike which just adds insult to injury. We all love saving money when we can, don't we? I'm featuring some amazing tips that will help you save energy and money while staying comfortably warm during the cold winter months. * Save up to $75 a year Use the sun to help heat your home. When direct sunlight hits a window, there will be a slight warming effect even on the coldest day of the year. If the sun is hitting your windows - open the blinds and windows - capture as much of that free heat as possible. When there is no direct sunlight on a window keep your blinds and curtains closed. This provides a bit of additional insulation for that window, which keeps the heat inside where you want it. For better insulation use heavy fabric curtains or layer curtains to keep out drafts. They even sell insulated curtains with built-in thermal backing. One benefit to these curtains is they typically also provide light- blocking, which can help with light-sensitive sleepers. * Move furniture away from vents You may not even realized that you have placed some furniture in front of your heating vents when you moved in or re-arranged your home. Go around your home and double check that vents are not being blocked, and if they are, find a way to move your furniture around - at least during the winter months. This will make sure that every room is getting its max heat potential. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Trump Accomplishments https://www.whitehouse.gov/trump-administration-accomplishments/ Parler’s Website Reappears Online, Mobile App Is Still Down / California City Removes “White Lives Matter” Banner, Calls It “Despicable” And “A Stain On Our Society” / Far-Left Actor Alec Baldwin Claims He Had ‘Dream’ Of Noose At President Trump’s ‘Trial For Sedition’ AND More: https://thescoop.us/ KABOOM! Major Pentagon Announcement In Favor Of President Trump! “Today, the United States is closer than ever to ending nearly two decades of war and welcoming in an Afghan-owned, Afghan-led peace process to achieve a political settlement and a permanent and comprehensive ceasefire,” the acting secretary of defense, Christopher Miller, said in a written statement. https://tinyurl.com/y4n9zo7f South Carolina Congresswoman Joins AOC and the Liberal Media in Calling for Sanctions Against Senators Cruz and Hawley / Anti- Putin Activist Put in Jail for 30-Days Until Hearing / Kremlin Critic Arrested Minutes After Landing in Moscow / Twitter Suspends Freshman Republican Greene’s Account / AOC and the Radical Left Want to be in Charge of All Information AND MORE: https://reliablenewsnow.com/ Big Tech’s Brutal Assault Against Free Speech Now Includes This / Now the World Health Organization Predicts a Far Worse Pandemic / COVID Vaccines and Population Control Advocates Share This And MORE: https://deepstatejournal.com/ Biden Just Told Millions of ILLEGALS “You’ll Get Your Chance”! / Liberal Hotel Chain Just Proved It Is Against American Values! / BIDEN Planning To UNDO EVERYTHING On Day One!/ ALERT: Ben Carson Has Broken His Silence! http://2020conservative.com/ Democrat Lawmaker ARRESTED For Choking His Wife! What He Did Before Is Sickening! / Trump Went To Alamo And Took A TEXAS SIZED Stand For All Of Us! AND More: https://independentminute.com/ Top Trump Supporter Just Revealed The Real Reason For Inauguration Lockdown! / KAMALA Directly Linked To Dominion Voting Software! https://threepercenternation.com/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Hot Pockets Recalled Glass, Plastic Contamination http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: A lot of us have driven after having a couple too many. We're not proud of it, but when you have to do it the rule is to make yourself as inconspicuous as possible. Stay under the speed limit, avoid swerving at all costs, oh, and make sure your vehicle has a windshield. Ignoring this last rule was what got one Canadian man arrested. The axe didn't help either. RCMP were called to a section of Highway in Nova Scotia for a motor vehicle complaint. Responding officers found a parked car straddling the white line. The car was missing its front windshield. There was a hole in the back window, glass on the highway and an axe on the backseat. At first, police said it appeared the car was empty, but then a man leaned forward in the driver's seat. He was later identified as Trent William Lewis. According to a court decision issued earlier this week, Lewis asked police why he had been pulled over. It was then, Judge Paul Scovil writes, that the officer noticed Lewis had his pants pulled down to his knees. The officer ordered Lewis out of the car and told him to pull up his pants. It was then Lewis took off running. "He did not get far before being tackled by the police officer," Scovil wrote. At Lewis's trial, a woman testified that she drove Lewis and another man from Liverpool toward Bridgewater when, she told the court, Lewis started "freaking out." She said Lewis kicked out the windshield, at which point she and the other man fled. Lewis himself remembers little of the events leading up to his arrest, other than that they involved a quart of rum, cocaine and a four-day house party. -<>- ...It's all about the money folks!... Different areas are dealing with the pandemic in different ways. In Los Angeles they're havng "super-spreader" parties, while in Quebec they have an 8 p.m. curfew for all residents. But for every rule there is an exception, and the exception for the curfew rule is that you can be out and about if you have to walk your dog. One couple took a metaphorical approach to this exception, a metaphor the police did not appreciate. A Quebec husband and wife were handed sizeable fines for violating curfew, despite the wife's protests that she was walking her dog and the fact the husband was wearing a leash. The woman and her husband were each given $1,500 fines by Sherbrooke police for violating curfew. The pair was caught walking at 9 p.m. on Saturday evening. Police said the two were walking towards downtown and did not cooperate with the officers. When questioned by police, the couple claimed they were following the rules. Quebec officials have said people may walk their dogs after the 8 p.m. curfew, provided they stay within one kilometre of their house. Over the first weekend under curfew, police officers across Quebec handed out 750 tickets worth thousands of dollars in fines to people caught out after 8 p.m. *--- And you think YOU have bad neighbors ---* Video on social media showed a military tank driving around a Florida neighborhood last week, but a spokesperson with the Florida National Guard said the tank was not part of its fleet. The matter was cleared up by Miami-Dade Police, which issued a statement that read: "Miami-Dade Police Department received reports of a military-style vehicle observed on the Village roads. They looked into the matter and confirmed that the vehicle belongs to a private collector of decommissioned, surplus military items. The vehicle in question is demilitarized and unarmed. It was purchased as a collector item and was being delivered to the owner at the time that the video circulating social media was taken." Neighbors were openly unhappy about the military relic in their close quarters. "It's a poor choice of timing to have military equipment like that in a residential neighborhood," resident James Woodard said. "Obviously they have more money than sense." *--- Grease theft is up ---* Police arrested two New York men early Thursday morning, accusing them of stealing grease from a local restaurant. Police said that officers observed 34-year-old William Urbina of New York City and 23-year-old Kevin Romero-Castro of Yonkers conducting suspicious activity at a restaurant on 295 Flanders Road. Officers stopped their vehicle and noticed an oily substance leaking from it. Police arrested Romero-Castro and Urbina and charged them with conspiracy, larceny, and criminal trespass. Police said that stealing grease and oil from restaurants has been an ongoing crime in the area, and it often ends up damaging the equipment in the affected restaurant. *--- Be Careful What You Ask For ---* If you give a woman a taser and ask her to use it on you, don't be surprised when she tasers you! A Utah man is accused of assaulting a woman he allegedly asked to use a taser on him when he had panic attacks, police reported. Ashten Lawrence, 20, was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on charges of assault aggravated assault according to a probable cause affidavit. During an argument Lawrence began to have a panic attack. A woman told police that Lawrence had got her a taser for Christmas and "told her to use it on him if he ever went into a panic attack because he would become violent during said panic attacks," the affidavit states. The woman said she feared for her safety and used the taser on the back of Lawrence's neck. The affidavit states Lawrence became angry and allegedly hit her multiple times. *--- Idiot ---* Stefan Thomas, of San Francisco, says he has made peace with forgetting his Bitcoin password that would turn him into a multimillionaire. Thomas, who recently was featured in The New York Times, has about $220 million worth of Bitcoin locked away on a hard drive that will erase its data after 10 password attempts. Thomas has tried to put in the correct password eight times with no luck. The German-born programmer lost the piece of paper containing the password. "You sort of question your own self-worth. What kind of person loses something this important?" Thomas said during a recent interview. "It was actually a really big milestone in my life where, like, I sort of realized how I was going to define my self-worth going forward. It wasn't going to be about how much money I have in my bank account," he said. Thomas said he told his story to help prevent others from forgetting their passwords. --- ...I have so many that there is no way to remember them all. So I store my passwords in a file that I have backed up on a removeable hard drive and thumb drive as well. All I have to do is - Look It Up Dear - as the old commercial said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssb_-7lTOfI OR The fun song says... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1kT4u_D5PA ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: __)), //_ _) ( "\" \_-/ ,---/ '---. / - - \ / \_. _|__,/ \ / )\ )\_ \ / _/ ( ' ) / / >Where Is He? It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!" The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room. "Where is he?" asked the receptionist. "He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. "It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?" "The dresser!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!" -<>- >The Bar and the Fry A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, could I get a beer please?" The bartender looks at him shacking his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here." -<>- >This Is The Library Judi walks into the library, looks around, then gets in line for the counter. Once she gets to the head of the line, she loudly says, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke." The librarian looks at her for a moment. Then whispers to Judi, "Ma'am, this is the library." Judi nods. Then she *whispers*, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke...." -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: Are you cold? A: Then come sit in the corner... it's 90 degrees! Q: What's the difference between a beer and a booger? A: A beer goes on the table, a booger goes under it. .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' Q: What did the farmer count his cows with? A: A cowculator! Q: Where does the one legged waitress work? A: The IHOP. Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute? A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"! Q: What's the definition of an Impotent Loser? A: A guy who can't even get his hopes up. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___________ \ / )_______( |"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._ | | | | | | ''-. | |_| |_ _| |_..-' |_______| '-' `'---------'` '-' )"""""""( /_________\ `'-------'` .-------------. jgs/_______________\ A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payos, the works. The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk: "Quick... get me a translator." Translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his name is, how old is he and where does he come from?" The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?" The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a British accent: "Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I've come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University." The translator turns to the judge and says: "Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen vun Oxford." -<>- A man tell his friend, "I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking." "What did he say?" "He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate." "Did that do any good?" "No, I can't get the chocolate to light." -<>- Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams for the first time. Today I asked her to marry me. She said 'no' both times. -<>- Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home. -<>- | | A _/X\_ \/X\/ |V| |A| |V| /XXX\ |\/\| |/\/| |\/\| |/\/| |\/\| |/\/| IIIIIII |\/_\/| /\// \\/\ |/| |\| /\X/___\X/\ IIIIIIIIIIIII /`-\/XXXXX\/-`\ /`.-'/\|/I\|/\'-.`\ /`\-/_.-"` `"-._ \-/\ /.-'.' '.'-.\ jgs /`\-/ \-/`\ _/`-'/`_ _`\'-`\_ `"""""""` `""""""` If I could become invisible, I would go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat the crap out of him. The round of applause he would get would be amazing. -<>- The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation. After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you; I'm a psychologist." "A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?" "Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?" -<>- I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.' When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. "Just where do you think you going?" she asked. "What do you mean?" I said. She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long." -<>- __ _ /__`./ `._ (..`\)``''` \< ,| (`-` )_ /`'` `. _.-` _/( _ `. __..--`` .' \ `. ) _.` __(_.-'`| _( / .` XX))=====| XX(((===============(- \________\ / | | \_.-` | | | _| ( ( ___ _.-`-` \ \ \ _.-'. _._ _.-` `` YXXbYXXXXb.-` _.-`_.-` / __YXX\`YXXXXb.`_.-` .´ (XXX''`(XXXX.-'` _.-`_.-`_.-`_.-` _.-`_.-`_.-`_.-`gnv __.-`_.-__.-`_.-` `'---` `'---` On our way to the ski hill, my friend's children decided to "find me a man" by the end of the day. The kids did their best to let it be known I was unmarried and to introduce me to anyone who was skiing alone and therefore, in their minds, single. To my great relief they finally got bored with their mission and charged off on their own. I then made my way to the chair lift. As I moved near the front of the line, a gentleman close to my age said "Excuse me, but are you single?" Groaning inwardly, I said, "Yes, but despite what you may have heard, I'm really not looking to get married." He looked at me oddly. "All I want is someone to share the chair lift with." -<>- >Conflicting Proverbs Actions speak louder than words. The pen is mightier than the sword. Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost. Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth. A silent man is a wise one. A man without words is a man without thoughts. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Clothes make the man. Don't judge a book by its cover. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Better safe than sorry. The bigger, the better. The best things come in small packages. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind. What will be, will be. Life is what you make it. Cross your bridges when you come to them. Forewarned is forearmed. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. One man's meat is another man's poison. With age comes wisdom. Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings. The more, the merrier. Two's company; three's a crowd It's no wonder we're all confused. ========================================================= >-->From ArcaMax: %%%% %%%%%%%% %%%%%% %%% %%% % % % % %%% % %%%%%% %%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%% %%%%%%% %%% %%%% %%%%%% %%% %%% %%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%% %%%%%%% %%%%%% %%% %%% %%%% %%%% %%% %%% %% %% %% %% b'ger %%%% %%% %%% %%% >There she is, Miss ‘Merica... and her dad Jase Graves on Oct 20, 2020 Parenting teen daughters is an experience chock-full of firsts, especially for dads. There’s the first time you have to go down the “ladies’ personal products” aisle at Walmart praying to the merciful Lord that you won’t see any other members of the dude species, the first time you make her scream because you’re wearing one of her bras like a pair of swim goggles, and the first time she goes out with a boy whom you’ve threatened to dismember if he doesn’t keep his cooties to himself. My wife and I recently experienced another one of these firsts when our eldest and most expensive daughter signed up to compete in a community beauty pageant. Throughout our girls’ upbringing, we had avoided child beauty pageants out of fear that we might end up starring in our own exploitive reality show on which I might have to adopt a nickname like “Sugar Bear.” This situation was completely my daughter’s idea, and we were actually proud of her willingness to step out of her comfort-zone and try something new. Besides, we’ll only have to sell our plasma for the next couple of centuries to pay for the numerous outfits, cosmetics, and other accoutrements she required for the competition. The event began with a small-town festival parade featuring fire trucks, community luminaries, and the pageant contestants waving to the crowd while violating seatbelt laws atop vehicles I can’t afford. It was a particularly cool and breezy day for East Texas in early autumn, and although I had goosebumps in my navel, I was distracted from the chill by my youngest daughter incessantly fretting about the fact the she had somehow managed to soil her cell phone with a layer of donut frosting. When I saw my eldest daughter approaching our vantage point in a gleaming, black Jeep Wrangler Sahara, I couldn’t help honoring her appearance by doing my best “Whoop, there she is!” chant, which she later affectionately described as “completely mortifying.” Her two sisters tried their best to seem enthusiastic, but I could tell that they were more impressed by the sight of several spectators on horseback ordering Dilly Bars in the drive-thru at the town Dairy Queen. Ah, life in the big city! Continue Reading Here: https://www.arcamax.com/entertainment/humor/jasegraves/s-2429351 ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: expecting _____ (((\\\\\ )_ \\\| / \/ = , & \(__- \ (( _ |` /\)))| ` |_| \__| \ | , \ \ | ,\ \ \ ' / \_ ` \ `__/ ._ | ` \ ejm / `-| | |` / ,`. \_____| |/\ / / `. ` |__| | === / / ==== `./ /, /========= / / / / |, /__ /== / ///' ======== __-' | / , ' - -- === ==( , ============== \ \ ========= ===== \ \===== \ \ ===== \ \ ============== \__ \ == / ` == ============== _/ / ======= '__ ' >"SILENT CRY" ~~~~~~~~ Here I lie deep inside you so tiny you cannot see I have caused so much change in your life What are you going to do? You think life would be easier if I would never be but life isn't easy and I have already touched you Mama here I am here, I wipe away a silent tear Please hear my silent cry A chance to live and not to die Before you end my life consider these things You helped create me, by the grace of God I am yours, flesh of your flesh ever so tiny as I am now.....I am I am a person, one tiny soul Love me enough to keep me whole Bring me into this world, girl or boy My birthday was meant for joy Mama hear me I am here I wipe a way a silent tear Please hear my silent cry A chance to live and not to die by Linda Sparks-Shay c. 1981 -<>- Rearing kids is like holding a wet bar of soap - too firm a grasp and it shoots from your hand, too loose a grasp and it slides away. A gentle but firm grasp keeps it in your control. - Author Unknown -<>- >The Perfect Man The finalist has been named in the worldwide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, The Perfect Man has been named....MR. POTATO HEAD. He's tan. He's cute. He knows the importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face. -<>- >Was It Worth It? While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?" -<>- .-. _ .--""" / { `.__ ( ( _ .e"8a-. J ' \ `.._, \ /_`\/8P '.--\/8P-' ) .-. \ e8a `.`. `" / o o`._..--' (;88`-.. \ ""`. `--.>#--.._/ `.-. `8_ 8P`. :_e8P .a. _.' |`\_, \ /-. `.` ,8 ^P" e8P 8a 2 '7.__7" \ \ `": `. ,8P _ /_\ ' / ;e8| 98P .-' `7 `--' |`8: .e8a._..e8" .' : : 88P" .8P`88,8P' / Y8/88 eP"| `YP" / `. `M " :-. .' : .'_ ; _.' \ \ '.' `/_.-e8`,.--. `-: : .'"" " 8P : `""`.e8a ; `"""--. / fsc `---' >Who Gets The Toy??? The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get the toy." -<>- >Strange Basketball Losses Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "62-63," "63-64," "64-65," etc. One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?" -<>- | -+- _ Todd and Jill _|_ {@} _|=|_ /___\ /(")\ (") .---'-'---. /((~))\/\ _ .-. /___________\ ~~/@\~~\|_|/ ((_)) | A /^\ A | / \ ||| ((_)) '-' | |"| | /~@~@~\ ||| '-' ldb_|___|_|___|_____/_______\|||___December 14th 2000___ >Keeping Your Wedding Vows Todd and Jill had just gotten back from the honeymoon, and were having their first fight, and it was a big one. No matter what Todd tried to say or do, Jill refused to compromise, or even listen. He started growing exasperated. After a while, Todd said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." Jill replied, "I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding." -<>- I wear my wife's eyeglasses because she wants me to see things her way. -<>- >More About The Bride Ani, the new bride, went crying to her mother. "Momma, I can't get Neil to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, and he keeps putting it off." "Honey," her mother replied, "after being married to your father for twenty-six years, I've found the only way to get him to do anything is to tell him he's too old." -<>- _ mMm _[_]_ /(_)\ (_) //)^(\\//:\\ /(/&@&\)\|~|/ / /-~`~-\ ||| `/ \||| `-------'-'-- >Mrs. Bride, Changes Can Be Dangerous To Your Marriage! (Just a Joke and Not To Be Taken Seriously!) The other day at work I ran into Bob. We chatted over lunch and he dropped a bombshell on me. "Rodney" he said, "Becky and I are going to get a divorce". I was stunned. "Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together" "Well" he said, "ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market." "Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you?" I probed. "Nah, I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me." -<>- _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >Biden & Trump Meet! A PARTING SHOT! -edited- Joe Biden and Donald Trump met for the transition meeting at the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, Biden asked Pres.Trump if he could use the personal Oval Office bathroom. Well, Biden heads into the bathroom and is astonished to see that the President has a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, Joe Biden told his wife about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "now that I am President, I'll get to use the gold urinal!" Later, when Mrs. Biden had lunch with The First Lady she told Melania how impressed Joe had been with his discovery that the President has a golden urinal. Later in the evening, Donald Trump and Melania were getting ready for bed. Melania turned to her husband and said, "Well, Donald, I found out who peed in your saxophone." -<>- ,-~~-.___. / | ' \ It was a dark and stormy night.... ( ) 0 \_/-, ,----' ==== // / \-'~; /~~~(O) / __/~| / | =( _____| (_________| W< >REASONS DOGS DON'T USE COMPUTERS **Can't stick their heads out of Windows(R). **Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. **Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. **Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." **Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating. **Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee. **Not at all fooled by Chuck wagon Screen Saver. **Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome **'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... **Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. **Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver. **TrO{gO HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. ( Too Hard To Type With Paws. ) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) World Of Peacocks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html Last Shot!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lastshot.html CATtitude!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cattitude.html Big Boy Toys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html Awesome Bikes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesomebikes.html Jobs That Suck!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Over The Limit!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/overthelimit.html Morons at Work!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Life's Little Oops!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops.html Little Help Please!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/helpplease.html Only In Australia!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/australia.html Did You See That?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat.html Humor With Golf!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Got A Nanosecond?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano.html Shopping With Men!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html Beware Of Dog Signs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html Decorating A Man Cave!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mancave.html MacGyver - How To Do It!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver.html Wall Mural Art 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart5.html -<>- Revisiting... Martin Luther King Jr.’s niece, pro-life advocate Dr. Alveda King, revealed on Monday that she voted for Donald Trump in the presidential... http://tinyurl.com/jmenmro -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Dream a Dream ~ Charlotte Church & Billy Gilman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7qJtH3nYeM&feature=youtu.be --- ...So Beautiful! What a great job! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Watch to support puppies - The Power Of Puppies https://www.youtube.com/embed/SJoE_lNQdHU --- ...Awww, love these SMILES - Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Daddy Sang Bass https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgmJATjaGf0 A Boy Named Sue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gbtm-93oqE Sunday Morning Coming Down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED5s1-Fe9FA Big River https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S34hOJE-DpU Johnny Cash - Man in black with lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY8_vZXo8oY --- ...Thanks LouiseAu! Reminds me of my brother playing these. I'm not much of a fan of country but I go with about any music. I am pleased that the Country singers don't cave in to the elites and do as they darn well please playing for Trump and America if they they want to without worrying about if the snobs like them or not! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A man in Vietnam was hospitalized after doctors realized that he had a pair of scissors in his digestive system that had been left there by a previous surgery that he had 18 years ago. I mean this guy is so lucky. Come on, free scissors! The sad part is after they sewed him up the second time the doctor was like, 'Wait, where's my watch?'" -James Corden "A new study says we should change how we feed cows so they don't produce so much of the greenhouse gas methane. First up, they recommend eliminating taco night." -Conan O'Brien "A new study found that running for two minutes is just as good for you as working out for 90 minutes. That doesn't sound like a study it sounds like something a chubby guy says after being on the treadmill for two minutes." -Jimmy Fallon "There's a new workout where people crawl like a baby. It's a new thing, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. In response, babies were like, 'Have you seen our bodies?'" -Jimmy Fallon "Here in California, some Starbucks stores have begun selling beer and wine. When asked why, a spokesperson for Starbucks said, 'Because sober people don't buy Michael Buble CDs.'" -Conan O'Brien "Apple's top designer has created a special Christmas tree that does not feature any lights or decorations. Said the designer, 'I didn't know this was due today.'" -Seth Meyers Success lies not in the result but in the efforts, "Being" the Best is not important, "Doing" the Best is all that matters.... - Unknown >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $26 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all web site list readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe **********************************************************************